Lecture 12:
The Search for the Perfect Line
Ethel
Listen to me, mister.
You're my knight in shining
armor. Don't you forget it.
You're going to get back on
that horse, and I'm going
to be right behind you,
holding on tight, and away
we're gonna go-go-go.
On Golden Pond (1981)
Written by Ernest Thompson, based on his stageplay
Norman
I don’t like horses.
Professor Christopher Bradley
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Previous Lesson
•
Constructing the
Scene
•
The Principles of
Construction
•
Techniques for
Construction
•
Writing Exercise # 10
The French Lieutenant's Woman (1981)
Written by John Fowles (novel)
and Harold Pinter (screenplay)
This Lesson
•
The Function of
Dialogue
•
The Characteristics
of Good Dialogue
•
Techniques and Tips
•
Writing Exercise # 11
Sideways (2004)
Written by Rex Pickett (novel)
and Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor (screenplay)
The Function of Dialogue
To Have and Have Not (1944)
Written by Jules Furthman and William Faulkner
Based on the novel by Ernest Hemmingway
Lesson 12: Part I
4
What is Dialogue?
• We think of dialogue as conversation
between characters in drama or literature.
• But in any fictional medium, dialogue isn’t
really conversation – it is the illusion of
conversation.
• Real conversation is random, repetitive,
and often pointless, while dramatic
dialogue is ordered and purposeful.
5
Writing Good Dialogue
• Some screenwriters have a natural gift for
turning a phrase, using humor or innuendo to
deepen the meaning of a film conversation,
most writers, though, need to work to achieve
this.
• A few strategies for success include actively
listening to the patterns of speech that people
use and developing an ear for words.
• You can also take notes of exchanges as you
hear them.
The Role of Dialogue
•
The role of dialogue in a screenplay is to:
1. Advance the plot towards its climax.
2. Advance the audience’s understanding of the
main characters.
3. Advance the audience’s understanding of the
story by providing information which cannot
otherwise be shown.
4. Set the tone for the film, especially comedy.
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The Role of Dialogue (Continued)
• Film dialogue must be crafted within the
context of character and conflict.
• It must be what a specific character would
say under a specific set of circumstances.
• It needs to stay close to the main topic of
the screenplay.
• If a line does not serve one of the basic
functions listed above, give strong
consideration to cutting it!
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Revealing Character
• What characters say and don’t say is one of
the main ways they reveal and define
themselves in film (and in life). How a
person speaks can reveal geographic origins
or educational level. It can hint at that
person’s deeper nature or true intentions.
• Dialogue allows the audience to make
distinctions between characters.
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Revealing Character (Continued)
• Physical action is considered the best
revelation of character in a film, but
sometimes only dialogue can expose the real
character motivations.
• But be careful. “On the nose” dialog will ring
false and lose impact, because people almost
always talk around what they mean. Direct
disclosures are rarely made, and then usually
only under stress.
• On Golden Pond
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Revealing Character (Continued)
• A film character should face extraordinary
circumstances when he is compelled to drop
his guard and reveal his innermost feelings.
• When character revelation of this sort is
properly motivated, it provides a powerful
comment on the character – all the more so
when it portrays him in a radically different
light from what the audience expects.
• Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront
Providing Information
• Generally, dialogue plays some part in
conveying the main exposition.
• But as a film progresses, more information is
needed as characters make discoveries.
Many of these discoveries are visual, but
often they need confirmation and elucidation
through dialogue.
• Information given in dialogue must be
consequential to the story or characters. If
it’s not, cut it!
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Setting the Tone
• When dialogue helps set the tone of a film,
it’s usually a comedy.
• A sense of foreboding or catastrophe is best
achieved through visuals and drama rather
than through poetic or dramatic dialogue.
• Comedy relies on humor, funny lines, jokes
and gags – visual and verbal. When
dialogue crackles with quips and jokes,
audiences respond with laughter and it can
set the tone in seconds.
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The Characteristics of Good
Dialogue
Young Frankenstein (1974)
Written by Mel Brooks & Gene Wilder (story and screenplay)
Lesson 12: Part II
14
Contrived Conversation
• Again, dialogue isn’t real conversation,
but the illusion of it – invented, contrived
conversation that satisfies the demands
of the scene.
• But it must sound real to work. If dialogue
sounds stilted, false, corny or clichéd, it
can destroy a worthy story.
• Dialogue has the same characteristics in
features and short films. It works best
when it is clear, to the point, advances
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the tension and is subtle.
Voice
• A character’s individual voice is one of the
most important ways by which he reveals
himself. It reflects where he has come from
and where he has gone.
• It gives an indication of how he thinks,
what’s important to him and some degree of
his psychology.
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Aspects of Voice
• Patterns of speech
• Accents and dialects
• Phrases and expressions
that indicate ethnic or
cultural background
• Grammar
• Jargon
• Slang (time and place)
Sling Blade (1996)
Written by Billy Bob Thorton
Writing Difference through Voice
• Through dialogue, you can illustrate
differences between characters. One
character may be philosophical or literal,
make allusions or be direct.
• A sense of humor can define one character
while a lack of one can define another.
• Emotion often forces people to revive speech
patterns they had given up or hidden.
• Pause the lecture and watch the clip from
Pulp Fiction.
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Research
• To understand how different people speak,
you need to develop an ear for words.
• When you introduce characters whose
backgrounds are different from yours,
research becomes a true ally.
• Research lends authenticity to a plot and
milieu, but also produces a colorful and
esoteric language that gives any screenplay
authority and brings it to life.
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Simplicity
• In film, dialogue needs to be understood
the first time it’s heard. You can’t rerun a
passage in a film and take the time to
think about it the way you can when you
reread a book.
• The audience is listening to the dialogue
and has to grasp its meaning before the
film moves ahead.
• The best dialogue is usually simple. It
comes in short, ordered sentences that
give the illusion of real speech.
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Drama through Actions
• In real life, people tend to talk in short
sentences or sentence fragments, with
simple direct words. They interrupt each
other, repeat and overlap.
• These can be used very effectively in
screenplay dialog, but use things such as
repetition, interruption and overlapping
dialogue for specific purposes.
• And remember, clarity is your first priority.
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Example
JILL
Why do they do that?
WADE
Do what?
JILL
You know.
WADE
Break stuff?
JILL
Yeah. It's stupid.
WADE
I guess they're stupid.
JILL
Did you do that when you were a
kid?
WADE
Well, yeah. Sort of. Nothing
really mean. Me and my pals, me
and my brothers. It was kind of
funny then. Stealing pumpkins,
soaping windows. Stuff like that.
(Continued)
JILL
Was it funny?
WADE
To us it was.
JILL
But it's not funny now.
WADE
No. It's not funny now.
Now I gotta sit overtime
at the station listening
to all the complaints
people make. I can’t even
imagine being that kind
of kid now.
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Dialogue as Poetry
• Flashy, complex sentences can confuse the
dialogue's meaning and make dialogue hard
to follow – both listening and reading.
• This doesn’t mean never use flashy phrases,
express complex thoughts or use esoteric
language. This can be effective, depending
on what kind character you are creating. But
be clear.
• Dialogue should strive for a combination of
realism, music and purpose within the story.
Progression
• Dialogue, like a scene, progresses to its
most dramatic point.
• In comedy, lines develop to a punch line, the
funny twist that makes you laugh. Good
writers save the joke until the end of the
speech so as not to get in the way of
important material.
• Save the strongest lines for scene finales to
maximize their impact.
Economy
• The best dialogue is lean. Brevity is more
valuable than amplification in a screenplay.
• As long as clarity isn’t compromised, cutting
dialog back will strengthen it, not weaken it.
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The Form of Film Dialogue
• Long speeches work better in novels and
plays than in films and in film you must have
a good reason to include one.
• Any passage running more than four or five
lines should be scrutinized for editing or
removal. The writer needs to consider length
and convey information quickly.
• An exception is a long speech used for
character revelation. Since this is often the
point of the film, the writer can take time to
maximize the impact of the speech. 26
“On the Nose” Dialogue
• When dialogue is too direct and too clear, it
often rings false, especially when the
speeches involve emotional issues.
• In real life, most people have difficulty
expressing or communicating emotions.
Others don’t want to confront emotional
issues and talk around them. People tend to
want to conceal or deny emotions and
dialogue should reflect that.
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Indirection
• The art of screenwriting is to capture
character’s indirection so that the audience
grasps the true, deeper meaning of what’s
being said, the characters’ true motivations.
• When characters imply, rather than state on
the nose what they are feeling, it allows the
audience to make associations and connect
more deeply with the characters.
• Pause and watch the clip from Casablanca.
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Techniques and Tips
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Written by Phil Hartman and Paul Reubens and Michael Varhol
Lesson 12: Part III
29
Rough it Out
• Once you basically know what a scene is
about, rough it out, without censoring any
thoughts or dialogue. Let the characters
speak in order to find the heart of the scene.
• One or two lines will usually say everything
necessary – you can toss the rest.
Read it Out Loud
• Always read your dialogue out loud! The best
indication of how it will sound is how it rolls off
your tongue. We write dialogue to be spoken
and it must sound natural.
• This will also help you determine if all the
characters sound alike. You want individuals.
• Saying the dialogue aloud can also indicate
whether or not the emotion builds properly to
the scene’s climax.
31
Nonverbal Language
• Remember that not all communication is
verbal. Some “lines” are non-verbal actions.
• Keep them to a minimum, but you can include
gestures, facial expressions, and other body
language to express actions and reactions.
• Remember! Don’t direct the actors!
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Nonverbal Language
(Continued)
• For example, you want to avoid action
description that “directs the actor” such as,
“She opens the yearbook to Cameron’s
picture. The tears begin gushing down her
cheeks. She squeezes her eyes shut and
stretches her mouth into a silent scream.”
But saying, “She opens the yearbook to
Cameron’s picture. She runs a finger along
his cheek,” might work. The touch takes the
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place of a line.
Using Character Names
• Characters normally don’t address each other
by name and names do not need to be used
right away in a screenplay. Wait for a natural
moment.
• When writing a scene with multiple characters
you may use – but not overuse - dialogue
cues to suggest who is talking to whom:
RICK
(to Ilsa)
You’re being cheated.
34
Other Tips
• Dialogue is best in face to face confrontation.
Avoid phone scenes for major conflict if
possible. Avoid email! We don’t want to
read email onscreen!
• Don’t overuse profanity/name-calling.
• Soliloquy and asides don’t work well in film.
• Avoid clichés. Or, if you use them, turn them
on their heads.
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Assignments
Amélie (2001)
Written by Guillaume Laurant and Jean-Pierre Jeunet (scenario) and Guillaume Laurent (dialogue)
Lesson 12: Part IV
36
E-Board Post #1
• Watch the short film from the lesson, My
Name is Lisa, and analyze the ways the
screenwriter conveys the story through
dialogue. For example, what are the
characters “talking around”? What is
clearly happening in the story, but is
never said? What action or actions take
the place of lines in the story?
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E-Board Post #2
• Compare and contrast the dialogue in the
clips for Casablanca and Pulp Fiction in
terms of the concept from the lesson.
How is the dialogue different in the two
scenes? For example, you might contrast
how direct are the characters with each
other about what they want? Or contrast
how the characters in each scene express
feelings of betrayal without actually saying
they feel betrayed.
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Writing Exercise #11
• Write a paragraph for each of the main
characters in your film describing his or
her voice, making sure you apply the
concepts on voice we learned in this
lesson. Then go back to your script and
begin to tweak the dialogue to reflect this
new detail.
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End of Lecture 12
The Tortoise and the Hare (1935)
Written by Larry Clemmons
Based on Aesop’s Fable
Next Lecture: How Do I Embed Theme in My Story?