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Getting on and falling out
• Identify opportunities and possible
challenges in using the material across
the school
• Discuss ideas as to how progress and
impact may be measured
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Getting on and falling out
key strands
Friendship
Working together in groups
Anger and its management
Conflict and its management
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Getting on and falling out
themes
Week 1:
Working cooperatively to help a group
Week 2:
Being a really good friend
Week 3:
Keeping calm and overcoming feelings of anger
Week 4:
Solving a difficult problem with a friend
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…words words words….
anger
argument
conflict
friendship
token
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What does it mean?
anger
trouble, vexation, also, physical pain or smart of a sore, strong
passion or emotion of displeasure or antagonism, excited by a real
or supposed injury or insult to one's self or others, or by the intent
to do such injury, to excite to anger, to enrage, to provoke
argument
proof, evidence, a reason or reasons offered in proof, to induce
belief, or convince the mind, reasoning expressed in words, as,
an argument about, concerning, or regarding a proposition, for or in
favour of it, or against it, the subject matter of a discourse, writing,
or artistic representation, theme or topic, also, an abstract or
summary, as of the contents of a book, chapter, poem
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What does it mean?
conflict
strike or dash together, to meet in violent collision, to
collide, to contend, to engage in strife or opposition, to
struggle, to be in opposition, to be contradictory
friendship
attachment, to a person, or between persons, affection
arising from mutual esteem and good will, friendliness,
amity, good will. kindly aid, help, assistance, aptness to
unite, conformity, affinity, harmony, correspondence
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What does it mean?
token
something intended or supposed to represent or
indicate another thing or an event, a sign, a symbol,
something by which the friendship of another person is
to be kept in mind, a memento, a souvenir, something
given or shown as a symbol or guarantee of authority
or right, a sign of authenticity, of power, good faith
pact
an agreement, a league, a compact, a covenant
http://www.dictionary.net/
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“Sticks and stones may break my
bones but words will never hurt me”
What do you think?
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What is friendship?
Real friendship lasts through good times
and bad times.
Friendship is an in-depth relationship.
Friendship is comfortable and relaxed.
Friendship requires meeting the needs of
both friends.
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Important / not important
What would a
friendship ‘quality
mark’ look like?
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“The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.”
Abraham Lincoln
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Working together - checklist
Which skills on the checklist are particularly
important for your children to develop?
How could you use this tool in your classroom /
school?
What changes would you make to ensure that
this checklist was useful?
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Fireworks
match – the trigger
fuse – the build up (can vary in length)
firework – packed with dynamite
Activity think of a child … parent …
• What appears to be their trigger?
• What often causes the build up?
• Is there anyone thing that causes the
explosion?
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Firework display
•
It is hard to think sensibly or reasonably
•
It is hard to see someone else’s point of view
•
It is hard to understand what people are saying (you
may not even hear them)
•
It is hard to consider the consequences of what you
do
Q: Do you have the water standing by?
Have you equipped them with calming down
strategies?
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“Hotting up …. Cooling down”
Activity
In pairs think of as many ways as you can
to make conflict worse – in the playground
or in the staffroom…
Now think of ways you could reduce
conflict or respond to the suggestions you
made in the previous activity
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Ready…
Steady…
Ready
Are you ready to think together?
How are you feeling and why?
Are you calm?
Steady
take it in turns to talk it through
listen without interrupting
say what has happened, how you feel and why
say what you would like to happen
think of all the different things you could do to help you
both feel OK
agree something that you both feel OK about
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Go!
try out your idea
and replay in slow motion
think about how you did it
check if things are OK
What went well? What would you change next time?
What did you learn?
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Staffroom activity – groups of 4
• number the participants from 2 to 5
(or whatever the number in the group, leave 1 and the
highest number on the die)
• participants should take it in turns to throw a die
• the person rolling the die gives a compliment to the
person with the same number to the one the die lands
on
• if the die lands on number 6 (highest number),
everyone in the group pays the ‘roller’ a compliment
• the participant receiving the compliment should smile
and say ‘thank you’
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challenge
if you throw your number:
say something good about your self
if you throw 1:
say something good about everyone else
if you throw 6:
everyone says something good about you
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Red
cooperation
Activity
Arranged in a circle & pass the moose:
I like… ‘x’ likes …
I sometimes feel lonely when…
When I play with a friend I feel …
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Song time…
If you're friendly and you know it,
clap your hands.
If you're friendly and you know it,
clap your hands.
If you're friendly and you know it,
and you really want to show it,
If you're friendly and you know it,
clap your hands!
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Red
Squeak & Snappy
Could be adapted for older pupils – view
points …
If Snappy was re-telling the story what
would s/he say?
If Squeak was re-telling the story what
would s/he say?
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Red
What do you think are the most important parts
of being a friend?
How can we make sure our cross or angry
feelings don’t hurt other people?
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www.cyberparent.com
But no one can form a friendship until
he/she realises
that the basis of being friends
is meeting the needs of the other person.
"The only way to have a friend
is to be one."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Blue
What am I like?
absolutely me ………………….definitely not me
I eat anything
I’m untidy
I like PE
I like drawing
I like cooking
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"A true friend is someone who thinks that
you are a good egg even though he
knows that you are slightly cracked."
Bernard Meltzer
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Blue
Different points of view
Activity
In 3s
Role play card: blue
What are we like as listeners?
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Silver
Joint drawing
Each person with a different colour pen …
if the pen touches someone else’s pen, to
say hello to that person
Story
Recognise how someone is feeling
(feeling fans)
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Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Activity
Take a strand across each age group (red, blue,
yellow or green): identify what you would observe
to show that children have demonstrated this
learning.
Consider where opportunities may be built into the
curriculum and across the whole school day to
enable children to demonstrate their learning.
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Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Feedback
Q: Which areas are you strongest in
promoting opportunities for development,
which areas are less well developed?
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Bean bags
Activity
Walk around the room – beanbag on head
Circle time
When I help other people I feel ...
When other people help me I feel ...
My friends are special to me because ...
I think it is unfair when ...
I would like ...
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Yellow
cooperation
Activity
Jigsaws
Q: What makes you angry?
Q: What is a win-win situation?
Q: Is there a difference between consensus
and compromise?
Best friends
Would a best friend
Eat your last sweet
Talk about you behind your back
Have a party and not ask you
Mine did.
Would a best friend
Borrow your bike without telling you
Deliberately forget your birthday
Avoid you whenever possible
Mine did.
Would a best friend
Turn up on your bike
Give you a whole packet of your favourite sweets
Look you in the eye
Mine did.
Best friends …
Would a best friend say
Sorry I talked about you behind your back
Sorry I had a party and didn’t invite you
Sorry I deliberately forgot your birthday
I thought you’d fallen out with me
Mine did.
And would a best friend say, simply,
Never mind
That’s OK
I did.
Bernard Young © Bernard Young. Reprinted by kind permission of the author.
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Silver KS2
What is happening in the playground?
Is it wrong to fall out with other people?
Do you have to be everyone’s friend?
How do you feel when you fall out with a best friend?
Important / not important
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Exemplar lesson plans
yellow: keeping warm p32
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The tyres on my bike are flat,
The sky is grouchy gray.
At least it sure feels like that
Since Hanna moved away.
Chocolate ice cream tastes like prunes,
December’s come to stay.
They’ve taken back the Mays and Junes
Since Hanna moved away.
Flowers smell like halibut.
Velvet feels like hay.
Every handsome dog’s a mutt
Since Hanna moved away.
Nothing’s fun to laugh about.
Nothing’s fun to play.
They call me, but I won’t come out
Since Hanna moved away.
Judith Viorst
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Green
feeling lines
Activity
Draw a line to represent the feeling you have been
given
It must start on one side of the paper and finish on the
other
It can be any colour, thickness or shape
Q: What are the similarities and differences
between the lines?
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Green
‘levels of friendship’ / circle of friends
Q:
What are the features of the friends at
each different level
Why do some children struggle with the
different levels?
also a family activity
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Green
reflection & enquiry
Why do most people have friends?
What would the world be like if there were no friends?
Why are there leaders?
What would the world be like if there were no leaders?
If lots of people think something, does it mean they are
right?
Is it better to follow or to lead?
How do we decide what to do?
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Self assessment
• ladder
• washing line
• working together wall
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Family SEAL
Scenarios
What advice would you give?
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www.indianchild.com
Friends smile at you.
They like your face.
They want to be with you
Any old place.
Friends have fun with you.
Friends share
They’re glad when you’re happy--When you’re sad, they care.
If you’re a friend
Then you care, too.
That’s why your friends
Are glad you’re you!!!
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Family SEAL
Game
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Family SEAL – All Stars
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Email
seal@medway.gov.uk
Forums
http://www.medway.gov.uk/schoolforums/
National Strategy site
http://www.bandapilot.org.uk/