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Lindsay Gramlich
Professor Mark Noon
Foundations of Writing
May 8, 2013
We Never Stop Needing Help (1,326)
We start out life needing the most help and as we get older we need help again. We all
need help in different times of our lives whether we are 6 years old or 90 years old. When I was
6 years old, my parents divorced and my mother was granted custody of my brother, sister and I
for a number of years My mother decided to go back to school and earn a degree in education,
but that meant that she needed to have help caring for us. My mom asked my grandparents if
they would be able to help take care of us after school and they were more than happy to do so.
At this time, I was too young to understand why my mother could not consontinue to spend as
much time with us and why my grandparents had to spend more time with us. But, as I got older
I realized that they did not have to be there, they wanted to be there because we needed them.
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Before spring break this year, my mom asked me if I would be interested in helping take
care of my grandfather, Papa, instead of having a nurse with him 24 hours a day. My
grandmother, Baba as we call her, could not be with him because she had just gone under knee
surgery. Papa is 90 years old with a severe case of dementia which limits his ability to perform
basic daily tasks on his own such as showering, getting dressed, and eating. My grandmother
used to take care of him, but because of her current condition she is unable to help him. I agreed
to take care of him over my break because I wanted to return the favor that my grandparents did
for me when I was younger. I told my mom “I want to help because they took care of me when I
was younger and needed him and now I want to help take care of him because he needs me”. I
did not just see it as me helping Papa, but I also saw it as me helping my mom and my
grandmother too. My family was so pleased to hear that I was willing to be there for him. It is
clear to me that we never stop needing help.
When my grandparents used to take care of me, Papa was always my
number one play mate. He used to be my only customer when I would play
restaurant and he would always go along with whatever I wanted to play. He
would make me laugh with his silly smile (as seen in the picture). He was a
very smart, educated man and would also always help me with my homework
when I needed it. Papa used to be an engineer and build airplanes for a living
and volunteer at the Franklin Institute in his spare time. I have always admired him in many
different aspects. Over the course of this year, my mom warned me how bad his memory had
become, but I did not really want to believe her because he was my friend, grandfather and, like
my father and other grandfather a great mentor and role model.
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When I arrived at Papa’s house on Friday, the first day of break, I was surprised. I said
hello to him and he looked at me with a very confused look. I asked him “Do you remember who
I am?” he replied “No”. I told him “I am your granddaughter, Lindsay” and then he replied “You
are? That’s great!” Then it finally hit me, Papa needed help. He was not capable of being able to
care for himself anymore. It was very difficult for me to accept how limited his memoy had
become. He was not my play mate anymore. I was afraid for him and this really upset me.
Later that night when I was tucking him into bed, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, said
goodnight and told him I loved him. The next morning when I was leaving I said goodbye and
gave him a hug, but he did not seem fazed by my leaving. I knew in my mind that he did not
remember who I was, but I just kept hoping that he would remember. Later that night when I
returned, I was just in time to put him to bed again. This time when I gave him a kiss, he actually
gave me one back. When I told him that I was staying there that night, he said “Here, you get in
on the other side”. I laughed and said “Papa, I have my own room”. In a somewhat casual way he
acknowledged that seemed okay. After that, I walked out of his room and closed the door. Then I
realized, while he did not know exactly who I was, he must have known I was family. This made
me very happy. The next morning when I was saying goodbye again he said “You’re leaving?
Can’t you at least stay for breakfast?” This was such a memorable moment for me, especially
since when the nurse leaves he never seems to care. the fact that he wanted to stay showed me
that he still remembers me.
The next day, after we had dinner together I asked him if he wanted to go visit Baba, my
grandmother, and he said no. Then I realized that he probably did not know I was referring to his
wife, so I decided to refer to her by her first name Margaret. When I asked him again, he still
said no. I could not understand why he did not want to see her. That night after I tucked him into
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bed, I called Baba and talked to her on the phone for a while. She told me that you cannot even
ask him questions anymore because he is not able to make connections and respond correctly.
After that, I decided I was going to bring Papa over to visit her tomorrow after his breakfast.
The next morning when I told him we were going to see Margaret, he was still reluctant
to go. Once we got there, I got to witness the cutest
moment I have ever seen. Papa walked into her room and
instantly gave her a kiss and then sat down in the chair
right next to her bed to hold her hand. This was so
adorable. Papa truly did want to see her. It is obvious to
me now that he could not process my question when I was asking him if he wanted to visit
Margaret. No matter how depleted his memory has gotten, he still remembers his one true love
that is forever in his heart.
I really felt like I had made a difference over my spring break. Papa started to really
warm up to me and acted like he remembered me. My mom and Baba told me every day how
much of a difference I was making in his life and in others. They would praise me and tell me
how their friends thought it was wonderful for me to care for Papa. Then I told them, “I did not
say I wanted to help him be praised. I did it because he did it for me when I was young and I
know he would still do it for me now if he could.” We all need help at some point in our lives,
sometimes more help and sometimes less. I needed Baba and Papa when I was younger and they
need me now. I am so happy that I have had the chance to return the favor to them and I am still
concontuining to help. They are the best grandparents I could have asked for and I love them.