About the Author
BY Mohammad Azam Rahnaward Zaryab
Mohammad Azam Rahnaward Zaryab
He was (born 1944) is a short story writer from Afghanistan. He was
born in Kabul and completed his higher education in Britain. Zaryab writes short
stories in the Dari (Persian) language which is a local folk dialect and his work has
been published in magazines and journals since his school days. His writings
comprise satires, diasporic pieces and social sketches which are a blend of
western aesthetics and indigenous literary traditions. In them, zaryab presents
the attitudes of Afghanistan’s various social classes and the everyday
contradictions inherent in a society undergoing a process of modernization.
Zaryab published literary criticism for a short while under the pen name ‘Nab’. He
has worked on many translations from English to Dari and served as president of
Afghanistan’s
Writers
Association
contemporary prose writing.
that
encourages
critical
works
and
MEANINGS
.
 Dejected = Depressed
Usage:-She looked so dejected when she lost her game.
 Loafers:-One who is habitually idle
Usage:-A person who waste their time rather than working.
 Mimicking = Copying
Usage:-She’s always mimicking the teachers.
 Mute = Silent
Usage:-The child sat mute in the corner of the room.
 Clutches = Grip
Usage:-He clutched the child to him.
 Bitterly = Angrily
Usage:-They complained bitterly.
 Exulting = Rejoicing.
 Subconscious = Inner mind
Usage: - My advertisements work at a subconscious level.
 Ridiculous = Silly
Usage:-I look ridiculous in this hat.
THE HAWK AND THE TREE
.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:Mohammad Azam Rahnaward Zaryab was born in
1949.he is a short story writer from Afghanistan and he was born in Kabul and
completed his higher in Britain. Zaryab writes short stories in Dari language which
is a local folk dialect and his works has been published in magazines and journals
since his school days zaryab published literacy criticism for a short while under
the pen name “NAB”.
SUMMARY:Once upon a time there is a cobbler near to the Dead tree. There were
two loafers. On the dead tree the sparrow hack is lived. The loafers hang all the
day in the cobbler shop. Whatever the cobbler do the loafers imitate him.
One day the author is passing through the cobbler shop. He saw that
cobbler was sad. He went near to him and asked why you are sad. The cobbler
said that,” the bird has flown away”. The loafers are also repeating the same lines.
The author was so happy. He laughed a lot. Then the cobbler said that “the bird
has string to the leg. Where ever it go the string will attached to the branch and
the hawk will die and no bird can break the string. The two loafers are repeating
that “no bird can break it no bird can break it”. Author returned home.
The author has suffered a lot at the night.
Next morning, he heard some noise near to his home. He comes out
and he saw that the crowd was surrounding at the dead tree.
The loafers are also doing the same what the cobbler did. Cobbler
took the author near to the dead tree and he said that “I said know, I said know”.
The author saw that the bird has hanged to the dead tree. The author observed
that the eyes are saying “this was the end of the road “.
The crowd was happy and they were laughing at the
bird.Sudddenly the author started laughing. Then the cobbler asked “why are you
laughing?” He said that everyone has a string to their legs. Then the crowd was
seeing their legs.
The author was imagined that the author was hanging to the tree.
Next the author, the cobbler was as hanged and then the loafer’s too. This makes
the author to laugh.
Conclusion:Ego means edging god out. In this lesson the author mainly used
the two words they are ego and strings.
SELF - EGO
The ego acts according to the reality principle; i.e. it seeks to please the id’s drive
in realistic ways that will benefit in the long term rather than bringing grief. At the
same time, Freud concedes that as the ego "attempts to mediate between id and
reality, it is often obliged to cloak the us. [Unconscious] commands of the id with
its own Pcs. [Preconscious] rationalizations, to conceal the id's conflicts with
reality, to profess ... to be taking notice of reality even when the id has remained
rigid and unyielding."
The ego comprises the organized part of the personality structure that includes
defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Conscious
awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are
conscious. Originally, Freud used the word ego to mean a sense of self, but later
revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality
testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual
functioning, and memory. The ego separates out what is real. It helps us to
organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us. "The ego
is that part of the id which has been modified by the direct influence of the external
world.... The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in
contrast to the id, which contains the passions ... in its relation to the id it is like a
man on horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse;
with this difference, that the rider tries to do so with his own strength, while the
ego uses borrowed forces. "Thus the ego, driven by the id, confined by the superego, repulsed by reality, struggles ... [in] bringing about harmony among the forces
and influences working in and upon it," and readily "breaks out in anxiety —
realistic anxiety regarding the external world, moral anxiety regarding the superego, and neurotic anxiety regarding the strength of the passions in the id." It has to
do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of
causing discontent on two other sides. But the super-ego is constantly watching
every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and
inferiority.
To overcome this the ego employs defense mechanisms. The defense mechanisms
are not done so directly or consciously. They lessen the tension by covering up our
impulses that are threatening. Ego defense mechanisms are often used by the ego
when id behavior conflicts with reality and either society's morals, norms, and
taboos or the individual's expectations as a result of the internalization of these
morals, norms, and their taboos.
Denial, displacement, intellectualization, fantasy, compensation, projection,
rationalization, reaction formation, regression, repression, and sublimation were
the defense mechanisms Freud identified. However, his daughter Anna Freud
clarified and identified the concepts of undoing, suppression, dissociation,
idealization, identification, introjections, inversion, summarization, splitting, and
substitution.
"The ego is not sharply separated from the id; its lower portion merges into it....
But the repressed merges into the id as well, and is merely a part of it. The
repressed is only cut off sharply from the ego by the resistances of repression; it
can communicate with the ego through the id." (Sigmund Freud, 1923)
In a diagram of the Structural and Topographical Models of Mind, the ego is
depicted to be half in the consciousness, while a quarter is in the preconscious and
the other quarter lies in the unconscious.
In modern English, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem, an
inflated sense of self-worth, or in philosophical terms, one’s self. Ego development
is known as the development of multiple processes, cognitive function, defenses,
and interpersonal skills or to early adolescence when ego processes are emerged.
Super-ego:In Sigmund Freud's work Civilization and Its Discontents (1930), he also discusses
the concept of a "cultural super-ego". Freud suggested that the demands of the
super-ego "coincide with the precepts of the prevailing cultural super-ego. At this
point the two processes that of the cultural development of the group and that of
the cultural development of the individual, are, as it were, always interlocked."
Ethics are a central element in the demands of the cultural super-ego, but Freud
developed his concept of the super-ego from an earlier combination of the ego
ideal and the "special psychical agency which performs the task of seeing that
narcissistic satisfaction from the ego ideal is ensured ... what we call our
'conscience'." For him "the installation of the super-ego can be described as a
successful instance of identification with the parental agency," while as
development proceeds "the super-ego also takes on the influence of those who
have stepped into the place of parents — educators, teachers, people chosen as
ideal models."
The super-ego aims for perfection. It comprises that organized part of the
personality structure, mainly but not entirely unconscious, that includes the
individual's ego ideals, spiritual goals, and the psychic agency (commonly called
"conscience") that criticizes and prohibits his or her drives, fantasies, feelings, and
actions. "The Super-ego can be thought of as a type of conscience that punishes
misbehavior with feelings of guilt. For example, for having extra-marital affairs."
Taken in this sense, the super-ego is the precedent for the conceptualization of the
inner critic as it appears in contemporary therapies such as IFS and Voice
Dialogue.
The super-ego works in contradiction to the id. The super-ego strives to act in a
socially appropriate manner, whereas the id just wants instant self-gratification.
The super-ego controls our sense of right and wrong and guilt. It helps us fit into
society by getting us to act in socially acceptable ways. The super-ego acts as the
conscience, maintaining our sense of morality and proscription from taboos. The
super-ego and the ego are the product of two key factors: the state of helplessness
of the child and the Oedipus complex. Its formation takes place during the
dissolution of the Oedipus complex and is formed by identification with and
internalization of the father figure after the little boy cannot successfully hold the
mother as a love-object out of fear of castration.
The concept of super-ego and the Oedipus complex is subject to criticism for its
perceived sexism. Women, who are considered to be already castrated, do not
identify with the father, and therefore, for Freud, "their super-ego is never so
inexorable, so impersonal, so independent of its emotional origins as we require it
to be in men ... they are often more influenced in their judgments by feelings of
affection or hostility." However, Freud went on to modify his position to the effect
"that the majority of men are also far behind the masculine ideal and that all human
individuals, as a result of their bisexual disposition and of cross-inheritance,
combine in themselves both masculine and feminine characteristics."
What is it in us that blocks our connection with the spiritual depths? If heaven is
real, why am I not in contact with it? All religions and paths address this central
question, under a variety of names, the most common today in the West being
“ego.” The term ego, in this context, alludes to our deeply ingrained selfreferential, self-seeking disposition, our well-hidden and highly adaptable attitude
that life revolves around me and mine. Ego cuts us off from other people, from
Nature, from God, from our authentic self, from our true responsibility, and from
fulfilling our destiny. Our ego is the great usurper. It focuses on our local
independence, falsely presuming it to be a global independence. The ego convinces
us that we are truly separate beings with ultimately separate will, having no
inherent connection with other people or with God.
Our ego installs us at the center of the universe, separate from all and enslaved by
time. Dwelling on our past history, our conditioning, our grudges, our
manufactured identity, our personality, or on our future hopes, dreams, fears,
anxieties, desires, and pressures, ego creates a constant torrent of mental structures,
each of which proclaim “This is me.” In childhood we become so involved and
enamored with the growing arsenal of our ego, that we unquestioningly assume it
are who we are. That insidious assumption constitutes the ego's iron grip on us.
This ego, this false pretender, whenever it arises grabs the seat of honor at the core
of our being. It purports to speak for the whole of us, even though our various parts
lack integration. It adopts the voice and desires of whatever part of us pushes itself
temporarily to the top of the heap. So for example, our ego, under the influence of
one part of us, “decides” to do something, but later under the influence of another
part, we find ourselves doing just the opposite. I may think “I am going to quit
smoking tomorrow.” But tomorrow my hand, not caring what my mind thought
yesterday, reaches for a cigarette. The pretender to the throne does not bear the
royal seal, does not have the power it ascribes to itself.
Why is it that the ego, or separate self, produces such a major difficulty in the
spiritual path, indeed THE major difficulty? The answer can be found in the
subtlety of the place occupied by ego and I. That place is not readily visible, even
to our inner eye. It lies in the realm of Will, more interior than all our thought,
emotion, and sensory experience, more interior than our awareness or
consciousness itself, more interior than our mind. Ego and I reside in the place of
who we are, that in us which chooses and decides, or abdicates choosing and
deciding. A thought that says, “I will …,” masquerades as the source of decision.
When this does represent an actual decision, the true source is will itself. Our will,
however, usurped by the self-centered ego, an aberration of will, enters into a
wrong and self-referential mode of working. Our true I, our true will, do not act by
force, but rather by the cooperative assent of our various parts.. The uncooperative
ego can thus come and stand in the place of the I, hiding and splitting off our
authentic I from the rest of us. Under the influence of ego, we believe ourselves to
be our own source. It turns out that, although we are indeed our own source, that
very source is the Source of All.
Religions and paths portray the nature of our egoism and how to deal with it in one
of two quite distinct modes. One cannot argue with the accumulated wisdom of
great religions. For our modern culture, though, the notion that our ego must die
seems frightening. More importantly, the notion that we harbor inherent spiritual
taints gets interpreted by our self-bashing, insecure psychology to mean that we are
bad, or at least inadequate — something that we in the West are often trained to
believe from childhood on. We believe we are not good enough. So we don the
knowledge of being corrupt to our core as a mantle of supposed wisdom, and flock
to those that teach it. Then the religious teaching about egoism simply gets coopted by the self-denigrating side of our ego, eagerly adopted and accepted as yet
another weakness. We hang our heads and beat our breasts and feel the better (or
worse) for it. Unfortunately, all this only strengthens our egoism and leads us into
an endless cycle, akin to a dog chasing its tail.
The ego happily joins our forces in the great battle. As an enemy, it infiltrates our
lines, wearing our own uniform, its soldiers and officers indistinguishable from
ours. How does one fight a battle against such a devious and resourceful enemy?
For most of us, it comes to nothing but another heap of suffering as we merely
fight ourselves in the name of spirituality and sink more deeply than ever into the
morass of self-centeredness. Only the rarest of souls find a way through this
conundrum.
An alternative, but also traditional view casts ego in an entirely different
perspective, not as an enemy, but as an illusion, and invites us to see our ego for
what it is: an empty, ephemeral sham, a hall of mirrors, a self-referential and
insubstantial web. The rise of Buddhism in the West is, in no small part, due to this
kinder yet no less incisive and perhaps more tractable formulation of the problem
of egoism.
Our belief in our ego, or separate self, is to a large extent learned from society. All
the people around us labor under a self-centered perspective on life, which
naturally devolves to impressionable children. Repeatedly shining the light of
awareness directly on this sense of separateness gradually disperses it. But I f we
look carefully for our ego, for this separate self that we think we are, we shall not
find it.
Am I my knowledge and experience, my habits and desires, my style - in short, my
personality? But I can see all this at work in myself. And clearly, the one who sees
seems closer to me than this whole complex of acquired patterns and inherited
predispositions that I call my personality. So no, I am not my personality. I need
my personality because only through it can I function in life, but I also need to
remember that this personality is not who I am.
So wherever we look, we do not find this self, this separate person that takes our
name, this self-important actor on the stage of our life. The more we engage in
spiritual inner work, the more carefully and persistently we are able look into
ourselves, and the more this once-compelling ego, this self disappears. Or perhaps
we see that it never existed to begin with. Gradually, our belief in our ego assumes
a porous quality, which rather than cutting us off from others, merely clouds our
relationships intermittently. This separate self never was. Our devotion to it
shrivels and we are left to truly be ourselves, to play our unique role in the larger
story of our common life. When moments come in which we fall back into that
trance of selfness, we feel uncomfortable, like in a shoe that no longer fits, and we
let it go.
Our ego, this illusory pattern, however, endures with remarkable resilience and
persistence. Complete freedom from ego comes only at a very high station of
spiritual development, something to which we may aspire and work for with
diligence. The best approach lies somewhere between the two outlined above.
SELF- ESTEEM
Self-esteem is a term in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or
appraisal of his or her own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example,
"I am competent", "I am worthy") and emotions such as triumph, despair, pride and
shame. 'The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, the positive
or negative evaluation of the self, is how we feel about it'. A person’s self-concept
consists of the beliefs one has about oneself, one’s self-perception, or, as Hamlyn
(1983: 241) expresses it, "the picture of oneself". Baumeister (1997) described
self-concept as totally perception which people hold about him/ herself (p. 681). It
is not the "facts" about one-self but rather what one believes to be true about oneself (Sarah Mercer, p. 14). Early researchers used self-concept as a descriptive
construct, such as ‘I am an athlete’ (Rosenberg 1979).
Recent theories adapted self-esteem with more evaluative statements like ‘I am
good at tennis’ (Harter 1996). The latter statement not only describes the self, as
the individual identifies herself or himself, but evaluates the self by putting
worthiness on it. Therefore, self-esteem is defined as both descriptive and
evaluative self-related statements. As a social psychological construct, self-esteem
is attractive because researchers have conceptualized it as an influential predictor
of relevant outcomes, such as academic achievement (Marsh 1990) or exercise
behavior (Hagger et al. 1998). In addition, self-esteem has also been treated as an
important outcome due to its close relation with psychological well-being (Marsh
1989). Self-concept (i.e. self-esteem) is widely believed to be composed of more
than just perceived competence, and this leads to the relative degree of evaluative
and cognitive beliefs of the construct.

Definitions:The original normal definition presents self-esteem as a ratio found by dividing
one’s successes in areas of life of importance to a given individual by the failures
in them or one’s "success / pretensions". Problems with this approach come from
making self-esteem contingent upon success: this implies inherent instability
because failure can occur at any moment. In the mid 1960s, Morris Rosenberg and
social-learning theorists defined self-esteem in terms of a stable sense of personal
worth or worthiness. Nathaniel Branden in 1969 defined self-esteem as "...the
experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being
worthy of happiness". According to Branden, self-esteem is the sum of selfconfidence (a feeling of personal capacity) and self-respect (a feeling of personal
worth). It exists as a consequence of the implicit judgement that every person does
about, on one side, his/her ability to face life's challenges, that is, to understand and
solve problems, and, on the other side, his right to achieve happiness, or, in other
words, to respect and defend his own interests and needs. This two-factor
approach, as some have also called it, provides a balanced definition that seems to
be capable of dealing with limits of defining self-esteem primarily in terms of
competence or worth alone.
Implicit self-esteem refers to a person's disposition to evaluate themselves
positively or negatively in a spontaneous, automatic, or unconscious manner. It
contrasts with explicit self-esteem, which entails more conscious and reflective
self-evaluation. Both explicit self-esteem and implicit self-esteem are subtypes of
self-esteem proper. Implicit self-esteem is assessed using indirect measures of
cognitive processing, including the Name Letter Task Such indirect measures are
designed to reduce awareness of, or control of, the process of assessment. When
used to assess implicit self-esteem, they feature stimuli designed to represent the
self, such as personal pronouns (e.g., "I") or characters in one's name.
Measurement:For the purposes of empirical research, psychologists typically assess self-esteem
by a self-report inventory yielding a quantitative result. They establish the validity
and reliability of the questionnaire prior to its use.
Self-esteem is typically measured as a continuous scale. The Rosenberg (1965) 10item scores each item on a four-point response system that requires participants to
indicate their level of agreement with a series of statements about themselves. The
Coopersmith Inventory uses a 50-question battery over a variety of topics and asks
subjects whether they rate someone as similar or dissimilar to themselves.
Positive self-esteem:-
Pyramid of Maslow.
People with a healthy level of self-esteem:
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Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them
even when finding opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light
of experience.
Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting
their own judgment, and not feeling guilty when others don't like their
choice.
Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor
about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for
the future, but live in the present intensely.
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Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures
and difficulties. They ask others for help when they need it.
Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or
superior, while accepting differences in certain talents, personal prestige or
financial standing.
Take for granted that they are an interesting and valuable person for others,
at least for those with whom they have a friendship.
Resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and
convenient.
Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or
negative, revealing those drives to others only when they choose.
Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.
Are sensitive to feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted
social rules, and claim no right or desire to prosper at others' expense.
Importance:Abraham Maslow states that psychological health is not possible unless the
essential core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by
others and by her or his self. Self-esteem allows people to face life with more
confidence, benevolence and optimism, and thus easily reach their goals and selfactualize. It allows oneself to be more ambitious, but not with respect to
possessions or success, but with respect to what one can experience emotionally,
creatively and spiritually. To develop self-esteem is to widen the capacity to be
happy; self-esteem allows people to be convinced they deserve happiness.
Understanding this is fundamental, and universally beneficial, since the
development of positive self-esteem increases the capacity to treat other people
with respect, benevolence and goodwill, thus favoring rich interpersonal
relationships and avoiding destructive ones. For Erich Fromm, love of others and
love of ourselves are not alternatives. On the contrary, an attitude of love toward
themselves will be found in all those who are capable of loving others.
Self-esteem allows creativity at the workplace, and is a specially critical condition
for teaching professions.
José-Vicente Bonet reminds us that the importance of self-esteem is obvious when
one realizes that the opposite of it is not the esteem of others, but self-rejection, a
characteristic of that state of great unhappiness that we call "depression". As Freud
put it, the depressive has suffered 'an extraordinary diminution in his self-regard,
an impoverishment of his ego on a grand scale....He has lost his self-respect'.
The Yogyakarta Principles, a document on international human rights law
addresses the discriminatory attitude toward LGBT peoples that makes their selfesteem low to be subject to human rights violation including human trafficking.
and World Health Organization recommends in "Preventing Suicide" published in
2000 that strengthening students' self-esteem is important to protect children and
adolescents against mental distress and despondency, enabling them to cope
adequately with difficult and stressful life situations.
Low self-esteem:Low self-esteem can result from various factors, including a physical appearance
or weight, socioeconomic status, or peer pressure or bullying.
Low self-esteem occasionally leads to suicidal ideation and behaviour. These can
include self-imposed isolation, feelings of rejection, dejection, insignificance, and
detachment, and increased dissatisfaction with current social relationships. A lack
of social support from peers or family tends to create or exacerbate stress on an
individual, which can lead to an inability to adjust to current circumstances. Drug
abuse and forms of delinquency are common side effects of low self-esteem.
A person with low self-esteem may show some of the following characteristics:
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Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.
Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentment against critics and feelings of
being attacked.
Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.
Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease any petitioner.
Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.
Neurotic guilt, dwelling on and exaggerating the magnitude of past mistakes.
Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any
proximate cause.
Pessimism and a general negative outlook.
Envy, invidiousness, or general resentment.
Theories:Carl Rogers, the greatest exponent of humanistic psychology, exposed that the
origin of problems for many people is that they despise themselves and they
consider themselves to be unvaluable and unworthy of being loved; thus the
importance he gave to unconditional acceptance of client. Many early theories
suggested that self-esteem is a basic human need or motivation. American
psychologist Abraham Maslow, for example, included self-esteem in his hierarchy
of needs. He described two different forms of esteem: the need for respect from
others and the need for self-respect, or inner self-esteem. Respect from others
entails recognition, acceptance, status, and appreciation, and was believed to be
more fragile and easily lost than inner self-esteem. According to Maslow, without
the fulfillment of the self-esteem need, individuals will be driven to seek it and
unable to grow and obtain self-actualization.
Modern theories of self-esteem explore the reasons humans are motivated to
maintain a high regard for themselves. Sociometer theory maintains that selfesteem evolved to check one's level of status and acceptance in ones' social group.
According to terror management theory, self-esteem serves a protective function
and reduces anxiety about life and death.
Self-esteem is the sum of attitudes which depend on perceptions, thoughts,
evaluations, feelings and behavioral tendencies aimed toward ourselves, the way
we are and behave, and our body's and character's features. In short, it's oneself's
evaluative perception.
The importance of self-esteem lies in the fact that it concerns to ourselves, the way
we are and the sense of our personal value. Thus, it affects the way we are and act
in the world and the way we are related to everybody else. Nothing in the way we
think, feel, decide and act escapes the influence of self-esteem.
Indeed, the concept of self-esteem is approached since then in humanistic
psychology as an inalienable right for every person, summarized in the following
sentence:
“
Every human being, with no exception, for the mere fact to be it, is worthy
of unconditional respect of everybody else; he deserves to esteem himself
and to be esteemed.
”
By virtue of this reason, even the most evil human beings deserve respect and
considered treatment. This attitude, nonetheless, does not pretend to come into
conflict with mechanisms that society has at its disposition to prevent individuals
from causing hurt —of any type— to others.
The concept of self-esteem has frequently gone beyond the exclusively scientific
sphere to take part in popular language.
Grades and Relationships:From the late 1970s to the early 1990s many Americans assumed as a matter of
course that students' self-esteem acted as a critical factor in the grades that they
earn in school, in their relationships with their peers, and in their later success in
life. Under this assumption, some American groups created programs which aimed
to increase the self-esteem of students. Until the 1990s little peer-reviewed and
controlled research took place on this topic.
Peer-reviewed research undertaken since then has not validated previous
assumptions. Recent research indicates that inflating students' self-esteem in and of
itself has no positive effect on grades. One study has shown that inflating selfesteem by itself can actually decrease grades.
The relationship involving self-esteem and academic results does not signify that
high self-esteem contributes to high academic results. It simply means that high
self-esteem may be accomplished due to high academic performance due to the
other variables of social interactions and life events affecting this performance.
"Attempts by pro-esteem advocates to encourage self-pride in students solely by
reason of their uniqueness as human beings will fail if feelings of well-being are
not accompanied by well-doing. It is only when students engage in personally
meaningful endeavors for which they can be justifiably proud that self-confidence
grows, and it is this growing self-assurance that in turn triggers further
achievement."
The pro-esteem position was caricatured in 1992 in Calvin and Hobbes, with
Calvin claiming that 'Homework is bad for my self-esteem. It sends the message
that I don't know enough!....So instead of trying to learn, I'm just concentrating on
liking myself the way I am'.
High self-esteem correlates highly with self-reported happiness; whether this is a
causal relationship has not been established. Additionally, self-esteem has been
found to be related to forgiveness in close relationships, in that people with high
self-esteem will be more forgiving than people with low self-esteem.
Parental Influence :Parental habits, whether positive or negative, can influence the development of
those same habits of self-perception in their children. Children are also likely to
remember parental responses accordingly to their current emotional state at those
certain times. For example, when the child receives positive reinforcement or
praise when she or he currently has a high self-esteem, or receives criticisms in a
low-self-esteem state, it is effectively embedded in their memories.
Criticism and Controversy:The American psychologist Albert Ellis criticized on numerous occasions the
concept of self-esteem as essentially self-defeating and ultimately destructive.
Although acknowledging the human propensity and tendency to ego rating as
innate, he has critiqued the philosophy of self-esteem as unrealistic, illogical and
self- and socially destructive – often doing more harm than good. Questioning the
foundations and usefulness of generalized ego strength, he has claimed that selfesteem is based on arbitrary definitional premises, and over-generalized,
perfectionistic and grandiose thinking. Acknowledging that rating and valuing
behaviours and characteristics is functional and even necessary, he sees rating and
valuing human beings' totality and total selves as irrational and unethical. The
healthier alternative to self-esteem acc Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a
psychotherapy based on this approach.
Psychologist Roy F. Baumeister and journalist John Tierney argue that the
benefits of self-esteem can be significantly counter-productive, and that parental
guidance towards self-esteem may thwart actual practices of self-control.
"There seem to be only two clearly demonstrated benefits of high selfesteem....First, it increases initiative, probably because it lends confidence.
People with high self-esteem are more willing to act on their beliefs, to stand
up for what they believe in, to approach others, to risk new undertakings.
(This unfortunately includes being extra willing to do stupid or destructive
things, even when everyone else advises against them.)...It can also lead
people to ignore sensible advice as they stubbornly keep wasting time and
money on hopeless causes"
"On the whole, benefits of high self-esteem accrue to the self while its costs
are borne by others, who must deal with side effects like arrogance and
conceit. At worst, esteem becomes narcisssism...God's gift to the world can
be hard to live with".
False stereotypes Comfort is not self-esteem:For a person with low self-esteem—or "wrong" self-esteem, according to
Branden's terminology— any positive stimulus or incentive will make him feel
comfortable, or, at most, better with respect to himself/herself for just some time.
Therefore, properties, sex, success, or physical appearance, by themselves, will
produce comfort, or a false and ephemeral development of self-esteem, but they
won't really strengthen confidence and respect to oneself.
Neville Symington described such 'transitory comforts...as like short-term
memory': any such input 'keeps me going for a couple of days, but then I need
another pick-me-up dose'.
Self-esteem and Culture:Branden has claimed that "self-esteem can be better understood as a sort of
spiritual achievement, that is, a victory in psyche's evolution".
More recent studies demonstrate both a correlation between self-esteem and life
satisfaction, and that such levels of correlation are to an extent culturally relative.
High self-esteem is not necessarily narcissistic:A common mistake is to think that loving oneself is necessarily equivalent to
narcissism, as opposed for example to what Erik Erikson speaks of as 'a postnarcissistic love of the ego'. A person with a healthy self-esteem accepts and loves
himself/herself unconditionally, acknowledging both virtues and faults in the self,
and yet, in spite of everything, being able to continue to live loving her/himself.
In narcissists, by contrast, an 'innate uncertainty about their own worth gives rise
to...a self-protective, but often totally spurious, aura of grandiosity' - producing the
class 'of narcissists, or people with very high, but insecure, selfesteem...fluctuating with each new episode of social praise or rejection'.[45]
Narcissism can thus be seen as a symptom of fundamentally low self-esteem (that
is, lack of love towards oneself), but often accompanied by 'an immense increase in
self-esteem' based on 'the defense mechanism of denial by overcompensation'.
The narcissist, then, is not able to acknowledge and accept his faults, which he
always tries to hide: his 'idealized love of self...rejected the part of him' which he
denigrates - 'this destructive little child' within. Instead, the narcissist emphasizes
his virtues in the presence of others, just to try to convince himself that he is a
valuable person and to try to stop feeling ashamed for his faults; unfortunately such
'people with unrealistically inflated self-views, which may be especially unstable
and highly vulnerable to negative information...tend to have poor social skills'.
In Buddhism:In Buddhism, Māna—overly high self-esteem or conceit— is one of the bonds of
which an anagami is not yet free. It is one of the blockages of paths towards
nirvana.
Types of Strings
Prepared By,
Ch.John,11KPO1A0417.
Our feelings can add a great deal to the stress we have in our lives. On this section
we are going to learn about our emotions, the various kinds of emotions, and about
accepting and expressing our emotions.
You will receive an enormous amount of beneficial guidance in learning about and
exploring your emotions. If you are suffering from an emotional disorder such as
severe depression, having suicidal thoughts, getting out of control or acting
irrationally, I strongly suggest seeking professional counseling. If you want to
begin working with your emotions at a deeper level, you may call my office and I
would be happy to either refer some excellent books to you, consult with you
myself, or refer you to someone else if your problem is outside of my realm of
expertise.
There are many schools of thought and various philosophies on emotions. Based
on all the information I have gathered in my own study of emotions, I have
outlined what makes sense to me.
An emotion is simply a feeling or sensation caused by a person’s perception about
something or someone. Emotions are our thoughts felt physically. Emotions are
energy. Emotions can transform into other emotions.
Causes of Emotion:Emotions are simply energy in motion. When you feel an emotion it is because
that energy has been triggered by a thought and it sends it in motion, which creates
feelings felt in various locations in your body. Emotions can travel. They can travel
from one part of the body to another. They can become headaches, stomachaches,
pain in other parts of the body, or wonderful tingly sensations throughout your
body.
Happiness or Sadness/(hurt):There are only two basic emotions. One is happiness the other is sadness. There is
quite a wide array of these emotions and what usually causes our feelings to
change is into what time period we are projecting them. For example, sadness
reflected into the future is experienced as fear. On the other hand, reflecting
sadness into the past is experienced as anger. These feelings can be experienced in
other ways too depending on whom we are projecting them toward. For example,
when we point anger inward, anger becomes guilt.
Duality:Let’s discuss duality for a moment. In order for a thing to be a thing, there has to
be a lack of a thing, which is its opposite counterpart. For example, you cannot
think about light, without ‘no light’ which is the opposite of light. We call ‘no
light’ darkness. In order to fully be able to appreciate light, you must know and
experience darkness. Likewise, in order to fully be able to appreciate being happy,
you must know and experience it’s equal and opposite counterpart, lack of
happiness, which is sadness. Think of our emotions like a pendulum swinging from
side to side. The further the pendulum swing to one side, the further it will swing
to the other. So, the extent one feels, happiness, one will ultimately feel the
greatest sadness and visa versa.
One of the problems with experiencing emotions is that many people who
experience great happiness followed by great sadness decide that the sadness is too
much to handle, so the first thing they do is look for ways to avoid having that
feeling and they will stop feeling the negative emotion by turning their attention to
other things. But the emotion has likely not yet to run it’s full course. It doesn’t
just go away though. It just lies dormant somewhere in you. The next thing that
usually happens is that the next time moments of happiness are available; the old
negative emotion is still anchored to that experience, reminding you, “Hey! Don’t
forget, this will eventually end and you’re just going to feel sad again.” So, you
unconsciously throw up the guard gates and you don’t feel as happy because you
feel suspicious about the good feelings you are having.
Experiencing your emotions this way may seem safe. However, it’s
metaphorically no different than an agoraphobic who becomes trapped in their
house because of their horrible anxiety about going outside. First, they don’t get to
go anywhere. Then they may occasionally glance outside the window and see
what’s out there. But eventually, they just keep the drapes closed because the
danger seems that severe. This may sound extreme, however, I believe that to that
same extreme if you get your heart broken one too many times, eventually you will
find that it’s just easier to keep the window to your soul shut down. And your
emotions are stuck at a standstill; numbness.
In life everything has a beginning and an end. Our emotions have energy. Since
our mind, body, spirit, and emotions are all connected, our emotions, if not dealt
with do eventually find a way to be
Why does it seem like our sad feelings hang around so much longer than our
happy feelings? The easiest way to explain this is to think about the way a child
acts. A child experiences all of their feelings right there on the spot at the moment
it happens. When a child feels joy, it laughs and plays and moves it’s body around
and fully embraces the feeling of joy. When a child feels sad, it doesn’t look
around and say, oh I better not show my emotions in front of these people. No, it
cries and makes noises and moves it’s body around and releases the emotion of
sadness.
Since our emotions are in our subconscious, all of our experiences stay with us as
long as we live. Therefore, all of our non-experienced emotions stay with us too.
They get trapped in our bodies, adding of course to our stress. Think about how
many times you thought something was funny and you laughed immediately about
it. Joy gets trapped sometimes too because there are times when we feel it may be
inappropriate to express our feelings of joy. However, most of our pleasurable
feelings do get expressed right away and fully. It’s the negative feelings, our hurt,
which usually gets held back basically because of our conditioning to avoid feeling
pain. It hurts. And we don’t want to hurt. We tend to carry a belief that we
shouldn’t ever feel hurt and we should feel happy all the time. If we could
eliminate that thinking, it would be a definite step in the right direction.
There are people who do appear that way. However, think about that person for a
moment. Have you ever really noticed any moments where they feel total Elation
Euphoria Exhilaration Ebullience I would imagine not. Feelings like that require
feeling that depth of their pain as well. And quite normally, they aren’t really quite
as happy as they would like to make you think they are. These people are usually
pushing down their painful emotions.
Now, getting back to the types of emotions that there are. Of course we know that
there are an assortment of feelings other than hurt and joy. Hurt just happens to be
the true essence of painful feelings. How we experience our hurt, depend on our
thoughts and can subsequently take on many forms. When we experience our hurt
and think about the future, we transform that hurt into fear. Emotions are energy.
Energy cannot be created, nor can it dissolve, it can only transform. So, hurt
transforms into fear as we project our thoughts about the future. Likewise, hurt
transforms into anger as we project our thoughts into the past. If we project that
anger inward, then it becomes guilt. As you can see, there is an array of emotions
than our born out of hurt, simply by changing our perception of the situation.
When we expend too much energy redirecting our anger, we then become
depressed. All depression is a depletion of energy. It can be emotional energy,
physical energy, mental energy, or spiritual energy, or all of the above.
Positive and negative emotions cannot exist within you at the same time. You
cannot feel pain and pleasure at the exact same time. You can however, feel pain
one moment and pleasure the very next. You can switch back and fourth making
you think that it is experienced simultaneously. However, it’s not. You can
experience an array of negative emotions all at the same time, or an array of
positive emotions.
What is important to realize here is that at the root of all our negative feelings is
hurt. In order to get to a point where we can feel truly happy inside, the way a child
feels it in it’s purest form, most of us will usually have an emotional debt to pay on
the negative feelings side that needs to come up to be experienced. Basically
because we have been conditioned that it’s not O.K. to express these feelings, and
yet it’s perfectly fine to express our happy feelings, so they get released and we
still continued to bare the burden of all the pain inside.
Human Emotions Frequency Scale
DEAD TREE
Prepared By,
Ch.Gopi,11KP1AO414.
No matter what time of year it is, it is always a good time to prune out dead wood.
But how can you tell if the wood is dead, especially in winter on a plant that sheds
its leaves in fall? While it’s true that these can be tough calls at a glance, there are
still ways to tell the difference between live and dead wood even in the winter.
Learning to tell is useful to you as a gardener because it extends your work season.
Spring and summer are the book-listed best times to prune most plants, but these
seasons are also busy with other work. Anything you can do on a comfortable day
in winter, like pruning for structure or removing bad wood, gives you that much
more time to do other jobs.
Here are a few ways to tell if a particular branch is alive or dead. At first you might
find you need to go up for a close examination, but over time you’ll start to get a
sense, even from a distance, that a section of wood on your plant doesn’t look
right, and is probably dead.
Easily Spottable Signs of Dead Wood
The first thing to learn to do is how you can tell dead wood at a distance, as you
walk through your garden. These signs will let you assess the situation for followup work without spending a lot of time on telling for sure.

Leafless while other branches have green leaves. This is pretty obvious,
and is a quick and easy sign of death in spring and summer.

Clinging dead leaves while other branches are bare. If your plant is
deciduous it should be dropping its leaves in fall. Dead branches will not
drop their leaves when they should; instead the leaves will often hang on for
months into the winter. Sometimes the fat blade of the leaf will be ripped off
by winter wind, but the leaf stem will keep sticking to its node. These are all
signs that the branch has died. Be careful, though: these are not good signs
of death on oaks, beeches, and any sapling tree, all of which can normally
hold leaves late.

Bark has mostly fallen off, exposing smooth wood underneath. Old bark
will naturally fall off a branch over time, but on healthy wood this is
replaced by new layers of bark. If on an old branch you see large areas of
smooth wood, it’s a warning sign.

Large fungus. If you have shelf fungus, wood conchs, or other kinds visibly
infecting a section of wood, chances are that everything from that point and
upwards along the branch is dead or at least weak and dying fast. Fungus in
combination with other signs helps you be sure.
Checking To Be Sure:In cases of doubt, it is best to get up close to the branch and perform one or more
simple, but decisive tests before you cut, especially if the branch is a major one
that you’d like to keep if it’s alive. In cases where you can’t get close, such as a
high branch in a tree, you might have to use binoculars or a pole saw to help you.

Scrape lightly and look for green. Just beneath the outer layer of every
branch and twig is the cambium, a thin green layer. It is green in every
season, even winter, but it turns brown when the plant dies. This is the most
decisive way to test young wood, with an outer layer thin enough for you to
scratch with pruners, a knife, or your fingernail on the youngest wood. On
old branches with thick bark you may need to slowly use a saw, or another
method of checking the wood.

Shake the branch. A slender (roughly under a half inch in diameter) living
branch should be flexible, bendable without cracking. Dead wood will snap.
It will also often feel lighter, drier and hollower. Walking past shrubs with
gloves shaking suspicious branches is a great way to quickly find dead
wood.

Look for buds. Early spring when the buds begin to swell and break is a
great time for this sign. If a node on the branch contains even one firm or
swelling bud, the branch is still alive. If all the nodes are bare of buds, or has
only dry buds that collapse when squeezed between your fingers, the branch
is dead.
 Look at the branch collar. The branch collar is the ring that completely
encircles the base of a branch, just above where it attaches to its parent
branch or the trunk. The collar will usually be slightly raised or swollen
looking. When the branch dies, the collar at its base begins, year by year,
trying to engulf and swallow the dead branch. If you see a roll of wood
that seems to be creeping up your branch, that branch has probably been
dead a while, and should be cut off just above the collar.
TAMING OF PETS
Prepared By,
Ch.Venkateswarlu,11KP1A0422.
And
D.Prasanth,11KP1A0423.
A pet is a household animal kept for companionship and a person's enjoyment, as
opposed to livestock, laboratory animals, working animals and sport animals which
are kept for economic reasons. The most popular pets are noted for their attractive
appearances and their loyal or playful personalities. Their pedigree may also be a
factor.
In some cases pets may also provide their owners with benefits, such as providing
companionship to elderly adults who do not have adequate social interaction with
other people. While some people believe in the physical and emotional benefits of
owning a pet, scientists are currently working to verify these ideas with medical
studies. There is now a medically-approved class of "therapy animals," mostly
dogs, that are brought to visit confined humans. Pet therapy utilizes trained
animals and handlers to achieve specific physical, social, cognitive, and emotional
goals with patients. Walking a dog can provide both the owner and the dog with
exercise, fresh air, and social interaction.
The most popular pets are dogs and cats, but there are also rodent pets, such as
gerbils, hamsters, chinchillas, fancy rats, and guinea pigs; avian pets, such as
canaries, parakeets, and parrots; reptile pets, such as turtles, lizards and snakes; and
aquatic pets, such as tropical fish and frogs.

The keeping of animals as pets can raise concerns in regard to animal
welfare. In particular, overpopulation is cited as a problem, as is the
breeding and treatment of animals. In some cases, people can view the
keeping of animals as akin to slavery.
Local restrictions:Many cities and towns have local ordinances limiting the number of pets a person
may have, although a certain number of animals may be kept for business
purposes. They may also restrict or forbid certain pets, such as exotics. Certain
breeds of dog, such as the pit bull and the Rottweiler, are banned in some places.
Canid hybrids, created by breeding dogs with other members of the canine family,
may be banned in some places. Semi-exotic cats, such as the Savannah, are also
banned in some locations.
In many locations, animals that are considered pets by their owners but are legally
classified as livestock, including horses, pigs, camelids, and fowl may be banned
from being kept within the city limits or restricted to property of a certain larger
size.
The cities of Berkeley, California, and Boulder, Colorado, have passed laws stating
that people who have pets do not "own" them; rather, they are the pet's "guardian."
Condominium associations and rental properties often limit or forbid pets
ownership by their tenants.
Pet popularity:There are approximately 78.2 million pet dogs in the United States, and
approximately 86.4 million pet cats in the United States. The two most popular
pets in most Western countries have been cats and dogs. In the United States, a
2007-2008 survey showed that dog-owning households outnumbered those owning
cats, but that the total number of pet cats was higher than that of dogs. The same
was true for 2009-2010.
Most Popular Pets in the U.S (millions)
Pet
U.S. average per
Global
U.S.
U.S. inhabited
inhabited
population population households
household
N/A
13.3
3.9
3.41
Equine
Reptiles
&
N/A
Amphibians
Small
N/A
mammals
13.6
4.7
2.89
15.9
5.3
3.00
Most Popular Pets in the U.S (millions)
Pet
Birds
Fish
Cat
Dog
U.S. average per
Global
U.S.
U.S. inhabited
inhabited
population population households
household
N/A
15.0
6.0
2.50
N/A
171.7
13.3
12.86
202
93.6
38.2
2.45
171
77.5
45.6
1.70
Choice of a pet:For a small to medium-size dog, the total cost over a dog's lifetime is about $7,240
to $12,700. For an indoor cat, the total cost over a cat's lifetime is about $8,620 to
$11,275. People most commonly get pets for companionship, to protect a home or
property, or because of the beauty or attractiveness of the animals. The most
common reasons for not owning a pet are lack of time, lack of suitable housing,
and lack of ability to care for the pet when traveling.
According to the 2007-2008 Pet Owners survey:
Number of U.S. households Total number of pets owned
that own a pet (millions) in the U.S. (millions)
Bird
6.0
15.0
Cat
38.2
93.6
Dog
45.6
77.5
Equine
3.9
13.3
Freshwater fish 13.3
171.7
Saltwater fish 0.7
11.2
Reptile
4.7
13.6
Small pets
5.3
15.9
Animal
SADHU'S TREASURE
Prepared By,
Ch.Prasad,11KP1A0416.
And
K.Praveen,12KP5A0412.
Morale of the Story: " Don’t trust easily. "
In a Mandir ( Temple) by a river lived a pandit
named Sadhu. He used to perform sacrifices
for which he would receive food, silk clothes
and such luxuries as gifts.
He would at once sell the luxuries items and
thus, he had acquired a substantial number of
gold coins. He treasured them and guarded them closely. In fact, he uses
to keep all his treasure under his arms everytime.
In the same village their lived a dishonest man named Bhima. He found out
about the treasure and now, he wanted to possess it badly. So he sat down
and thought of a plan. The next day, Bhima dresses himself in simple
clothes and approached Sadhu.
"O holy Sir", addressed Bhima, " I have heard much about you and your
holy doings. I have renounced the would and I am no longer chained to its
material charms. After all, the material things are for a moment but life
devoted to god helps you through the seven births. So here I am to ask you
to be my guide and my teacher. I have come to be your disciple".
"Young man," said Sadhu, " I am
impressed by your high thoughts at this
young age. You are indeed fit to be
taught as my disciple, but you must follow
all the rules of the Mandir.
You must not possess any material things and you must reside in a
thatched roof hut just outside the Mandir. If you agree to all this, you may
readily become my disciple".
Bhima agreed promptly to please Sadhu, after all he had his eyes on the
treasure. Months passed and Bhima was still serving Sadhu to win his
confidence. Bhima spent the days doing the personal chores for Sadhu
such as cooking his meals, washing his clothes and fetching water for him
and his nights were spent in pressing Sadhu’s tired feet. Bhima had
thought that by serving Sadhu he would win his confidence and he will be
given the charge of the treasure ,but to no avail. After all this, Sadhu did
not relent Bhima's hold on his treasure.
When Bhima was feeling disheartened, one day a man arrived at the
Mandir. The man came from a rich merchant in the city and he said, " O
holy sir, my master invites you to a grand meal he is hosting for all hermits,
sages and Brahmans. He would be pleased if you would bless the feast by
your presence."
Sadhu accepted the invitation readily and he
left for the city with Bhima and the treasure
under his arm. On the way, as evening fell,
Sadhu saw a lake and he soon decided to
have a wash and offer the evening prayer.
But he was worried about his treasure, so he
thought to himself, "I must not fail to offer the
prayers as they are part of my daily routine.
But if I had to take a bath, I must put my treasure in a safe place, but there
is none in this wilderness.
Ah! Surely I can leave it with Bhima, my trusted disciple. He will take care
of it while I bathe and anyway he is not greedy nor he will steal it, for he
has renounced all material goods."
Thus, Sadhu handed his beloved treasure to Bhima and
got down into the lake for a bath. Now, Bhima was
delighted, his patience paid at last.
Not waiting a second to spend a thought over or look
through the treasure, he simply took the bundle
containing the gold coins and ran away.
Sadhu came out of the lake to wear his clothes and to
reclaim his treasure but alas! He saw none of them. Soon he realized what
a trusting fool he had been.