TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Definition of twat
noun
a person regarded as stupid or obnoxious:
“My next door neighbour’s a right twat.”
verb
[with object] British informal : to hit or punch someone:
“ if my best mate said that I’d twat him one.”
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Starter
Write a brief description of someone you don’t like very much.
Describe what they are like and what they have done to make
you dislike them.
Learning Objectives
As we study this poem you will learn:
• the story of the poem
• More about the terms,
Rhyme Schemes: Alliteration: Simile:
Imagery: Enjambement: Pace/Tempo:
• how to read out part of the poem to the class
• You will also complete some mini tasks and a
test on the poem.
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here...
wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale...
Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you
if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please,
take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can... TWAT.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
The Story of the Poem
• The poem is written in the form of an address or letter to a
person the poet really dislikes.
• Although humours, the poem is a list of insults that lead
inexorably to the title line of the poem, ‘Twat’ which the poet
feels encapsulates all that he has said before.
• We do not know if what the poet says is true, nor do we hear
the protagonists response to these insults.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Mini Task 1
Look at the poem....What do you notice about
the rhyme scheme
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Mini Task 1
Look at the poem....What do you notice about the rhyme
scheme
You should have noticed the poem is made up of alternate
rhyming couplets. But there are some un-rhymed lines and
some internal rhymes.
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here...
wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale...
Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you
if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please,
take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can... TWAT.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Mini Task 2
The poem also make frequent use of alliteration.
Look at the poem and see how many you can spot.
Alliteration – Where the sound at the beginning of two words
close to each other is the same.
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here...
wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale...
Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you
if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please,
take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can... TWAT.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Key Feature – Simile
The poem starts with two similes and then uses similes and
metaphors to describe how obnoxious and horrible this person is.
Mini Task 3
Look at the poem and to list as many similes as you can.
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
commonly known as a drag.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
You make life [like]a fairy tale...
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Key Feature – Imagery
The poem relies on a series of images to create its effect.
Some of these images some of these images are humours,
others are disturbing and repulsive.
Mini Task 4
Draw up a table that lists the images in these two categories.
Humorous
Disturbing/Repulsive
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Key Feature – Imagery
Humorous
Disturbing/Repulsive
Night Club in the morning,
recently disinfected kharzi,
wear this polythene bag.
Your germs are splattered about
I’ve got you under my skin.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
makes me think of phlegm,
Like a death at a birthday party,
a sucked and spat out smartie,
scratching your bad name off his list,
the shadow of the guillotine
some kind of bat
a dead consumptive’s face.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Key Feature – Enjambment
As well as Rhyme and Alliteration, the poem also relies on
enjambment to create the fast pace/tempo of the poem
Mini Task 5
Look at the poem and on your copy use arrows  to show
where the enjambment is.
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
You give me the horrors 
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s 
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter 
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about 
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here...
wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale...
Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you 
if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality 
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please,
take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine 
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
What kind of creature bore you 
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can... TWAT.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Pace & Tempo
Because of
– the alternate rhyming couplet rhyme scheme
– The frequent use of alliteration
– The use of enjambment
Twat has a very strong rhythm.
TWAT
John Cooper-Clarke
Quiz
G 12 Tues 2 Oct
G 11 Wed 3 Oct
Like a Night Club in the morning,
you’re the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected kharzi,
you’re clean around the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver,
commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here...
wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale...
Grimm!
People mention murder,
the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you
if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease,
destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please,
take yourself away.
Like a death at a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can... TWAT.