Chapter Four
Achieving a Readable Style
Basic Principles of Effective Style
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Determine your reader’s knowledge of the
subject.
Determine if a particular style will be expected.
Anticipate your reader’s comprehension level in
a given context.
Know your relationship to your reader and how
you want to sound.
Adjust the style to the reader, purpose, and the
context.
Revising Paragraphs
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Begin paragraphs with topic sentences (central
statements).
Build paragraphs with a group of sentences that
coherently develop the central statement.
Use a moderate paragraph length.
Use transitions between ideas.
Use lists when they better emphasize and
develop the topic ideas.
Revising Sentences
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Select your level of language; adjust the density
of information.
Watch sentence length.
Keep subjects and verbs close together.
Omit verbiage; use concrete verbs.
Write “squeaky clean” prose.
Avoid ponderous language.
Revising Sentences
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Avoid excessive use of is/are verb forms.
 Avoid beginning sentences with there is,
there are, there was, or there were.
 Avoid beginning sentences with phrases
such as it is clear that, it is evident that, or it
should be noted that.
 Choose a specific verb rather than is, was,
and were verb forms.
Revising Sentences
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Use active voice for clarity.
 Define when necessary.
 Avoid impersonal language.
Sentence Revision Example: Watch
Sentence Length
Before: This Appendix contains a brief discussion of certain economic
and demographic Characteristics of the Area in which the County is
located and does not constitute a part of this Official Statement:
Information in this Appendix has been obtained from the sources
noted, where are believed to be reliable, although no investigation
has been made to verify the accuracy of such information.
After: This Appendix contains a brief discussion of certain economic
and demographic characteristics of the Area in which the County is
located. The Appendix does not constitute part of this Official
Statement. Information in the Appendix has been obtained from the
sources noted. They are believed to be reliable. However, the
accuracy of the information has not been verified.
Sentence Revision Example: Keep
Subjects and Verbs Close Together
s
v
s
v
Good: John loves Mary because she inherited
money. (verb/word ratio = 2/7)
s
v
Poor: Mary’s inheritance of money was one of the
reasons for John’s interest in Mary. (verb/word
ratio = 1/12)
Sentence Revision Example: Omit
Verbiage; Use Concrete Verbs
Instead of weak verb phrases
Use direct verbs
give approval to
approve
have a tendency to
tend to
have a discussion about
discuss
Instead of excessive words
Use simple words
at a later date
later
at the present time
now
for the reason that/being
because
Sentence Revision Example: Omit
Verbiage; Use Concrete Verbs
Instead of redundancies
Use simple words
absolutely free
free
consensus of opinion
consensus
exactly identical (exact same)
identical (same)
Sentence Revision Example: Avoid
Excessive Use of Is/Are Verbs
Poor: Delegation is a means of lessening the
manger’s work load.
Good: Managers who delegate reduce their work
loads.
Poor: There are two systems presently available
for testing job candidates.
Good: Two available systems can test job
candidates.
Sentence Revision Example: Use
Active Voice for Clarity
Passive: Attempts were made by the division staff
to assess the project.
Active: The division staff attempted to assess the
project.
Passive: The door is to be locked at 6 p.m.
Active: The last person leaving the building at 6
p.m. should lock the door.
Sentence Revision Example: Avoid
Impersonal Language
Poor: As a result of their expertise, the consulting team is
provided with the opportunity to make a reasonable
determination of the appropriate direction to proceed
regarding their selection of information systems.
Good: The consulting team has the expertise to select the best
information systems.
Poor: It is our contention that the necessary modifications
should be made to make the system operational because its
complete replacement is economically prohibitive.
Good: We believe that the system should be modified to make it
operational. Complete replacement costs too much.