final_essay_peer_review

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PEER REVIEW WORKSHEET FOR FINAL PAPER
Remember to use a different color font for your responses. Take your time to offer a quality response.
Writer’s Name:_____Sandra Villarreal_____________________________
Reviewer’s Name: _____Joseph Eichhorn___________________________
For our final essay, each writer is to craft a thesis and then explore the idea from one of the three
critical perspectives (feminist, historical or psychoanalytical). Remember that while the writer
needs to clearly focus on one of the perspectives, he or she needs to briefly demonstrate an
understanding of the perspectives he or she did not choose. Your close review of this essay will
surely help the writer stay on track, clarify or deepen his or her thesis, and compose a more
readable and thought-provoking final paper.
1.
What is the writer’s thesis? Please note it below. If there is no clear thesis, does the writer
offer an idea that might be developed into a main claim? Please excerpt and discuss.
There was no Clear thesis statement in this paper? What is trying to be conveyed in the
following “However, she begins to defy them and at the end rejects all her social
responsibilities. This is brought out from her desire to live in a society that is not male
dominant. Many readers see the feminist perspective as the foundation of the novel. This
can be shown by Edna’s passion to get some freedom and independence, something that
was not acceptable in the 1800s. By reading through the chapters, the reader gets a
picture of a society that is dominated by male gender.” can be used to create a thesis
statement. Ex. The Awakening is a tale of a woman no longer satisfied with living in a
Male Dominated world, using a feminist viewpoint examples will be shown that can
attest Edna’s imprisonment and growth.
2.
Which critical perspective did the writer emphasize? Did the writer show a thorough
understanding of the perspective? How? Please excerpt from the paper and comment
upon the writer’s knowledge and use of his or her chosen critical perspective (feminist,
psychoanalytical or historical).
The view the Arthur emphasized is the “Feminist Lens.” An excerpt of showing such
knowledge is “During this period, the woman’s role in the society is portrayed to be that
of worshipping the children and submitting to the varied needs of her husband. The
author goes into the details of the frustrations and triumphs that the women went through
trying to meet the demands of the society unwillingly.”
3.
Did the writer show an understanding of the other two critical perspectives? Please
excerpt from the writer’s essay to show that he or she briefly discussed the other
perspectives.
At the end of the paper there are examples of both Historical and Psychoanalytical
perspectives yet they are just put into the essay versus flowing nicely into it. This takes
away from the writing and the knowledge contained
4.
What is the main topic of this essay? List one instance in the text that the writer might
explore more fully to deepen his or her paper.
The Main topic refers to defy society for Freedom. Look to refine “At this point, she has
fully deciding that her freedom is far much important that what the society recommends.
However, she still understands that she is defiling her womanhood and the stands
presented by the society. In her search for freedom, she is not interested in the feminist
perspective that the society recommends, but she want to gain the freedom to express her
desires. Her self esteem is high and nothing prevents her from attaining her sexuality and
freedom.”
5.
Please comment upon the writer’s introduction. Does it draw in the reader? How? Be
specific here.
It is a nice paper but there was no grabbing aspect.
6.
Please evaluate the writer’s conclusion. Does the writer wrap up the essay and offer the
reader some closure or simply reiterate the main points? Does the writer challenge us to
think in new ways? How?
The Conclusion is in a rough draft. There are conflicting statements “Though the novel
ends with a sad note when Edna commits suicide thus failing to achieve her feminism,
and As a result of her efforts, she takes control of her life as a liberated and independent
woman” Because of this contradiction there was no challenging new way of thinking for
the reader.
7.
Does the writer provide sufficient excerpts from the text, using APA format. Copy two
excerpts and discuss. Does the writer use signal phrases? Are the quotes just dropped into
the essay or is there a smooth transition from the writer’s point to the excerpt?
There are many excerpts. But they read smooth.
8.
Please write a post-draft outline of the student essay. In order to do this, you will number
each paragraph of your peer’s paper and summarize the main point of each paragraph
very briefly, in one or two sentences. This is not a formal outline. Below, include your
summary of paragraph 1 in a single sentence, then the main point of paragraph 2, etc. The
goal here is to look at the organization of the essay. I also recommend that you do this for
your own essay as you will likely be surprised by the results. Looking at the “bones” of
the paper, the writer can see areas they might want to attend to further or revise. The
writer might also see that they left out an important point.
1) Opening paragraph that leads to what the perspective of the paper is going to be.
2) Starts to paint the picture of what it is like under a male dominated world.
3) Gives a description of the feminist view.
4) Talks about Edna starting her path. (An example would be good here. Maybe her
stands on the porch)
5) The Opposite view that states she has failed. (Give a little more detail)
6) Brings back the fact that Edna was successful. Paragraph 5 out of place
7) The return of Edna’s failings.
8) Showing Ideas and items against Edna and following the feminist view.
9) A return to the awakening being a push for the feminist point of view.
10) A look at the historical viewpoint. Does not flow.
11) A look at the Psychoanalytical viewpoint. Again this does not flow.
12) A counter acting conclusion were it is stated Edna failed to achieve her feminism, but
is a liberated and independent woman.
From this brief outline, the writer can see what is missing and get a new view of the
organization. Outlining this way can also help you with your paper, if you want another way to
review it.
9. Based on the outline you constructed above, comment on the organization of the outline. If
necessary, how should the paragraphs be rearranged for better organization and flow?
1, 2, 10, 11, 3, 6, 9, 4, 5, 7, 8, 12
10. Where is this essay strongest and why?
Paragraph eight is the strongest. Not only does it show the feminist view, but also makes
the reader think with the examples given.
“The author notes that Edna was unhappy with her life and she believes that the sadness will
never come to a closure unless she achieves her wants by saying, "when it did not seem
worthwhile to be glad or sorry, to be dead or alive; when life appeared to her like a grotesque
pandemonium and humanity like worms struggling blindly toward inevitable annihilation" (p.
58). The author goes ahead and notes that Edna is like the "bird with a broken wing" that she
observes, "beating the air above, reeling, fluttering, circling disabled down, down to the war" (p.
115). Although many people respect her efforts to get the freedom from the oppressive society
that she lived, committing suicide is a total waste of the struggles and it challenges the essence of
feminism.”
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