Writing BETTER &
FASTER
Six Steps to Better Writing
Step
Step
Step
Step
Step
Step
1:
2:
3:
4:
5:
6:
Gather Data
Prepare Thesis
Create Structure
Prepare Draft
Critique Draft
Revise
Step 1: Collect Data
• collect data—you can’t write without any
• information helps you think about the
subject
• when taking notes from books/articles
paraphrase
• rewording ensures understanding, helps
avoid PLAGIARISM
• if you can’t reword?
Understand words & concepts
• look up any words you do not understand
• review fundamental concepts about which
you are uncertain
• whether the subject is “proton exchange
membrane fuel cells” or the “Louisiana
Purchase,” know your concepts!
Step 2: Draft Thesis Statement
• “A short statement conveying an explicit
judgment concerning a limited topic
and based on suitable evidence”
• It is what the paper discovers
• You may not see theses directly
expressed in the literature
Purpose: Writer’s POV
• A check on the research/writing process
• The touchstone against which all else will
be judged
Purpose: Reader’s POV
• Informs the reader of the key findings
• Not a simple statement of accepted fact
• Not an “opinion”
• A judgment based on evidence
• Single-sentence “executive summary”
• Similar to requirements on some grant
applications
2. Effective Thesis statements
Ineffective
• Pets are a source of joy
and love. (boring)
• In clinical terms, the
pet/owner relationship
can be viewed from many
angles. (ambiguous)
• This essay will be about
pets. (too obvious)
• In my opinion, I think
pets are a source of joy.
(about the writer)
Better
• In the majority of petowning households in
the UK, pets either
replace or supplement
human children in the
social order of the
home.
Thesis Statements
•
Aim:
The study explored the
predominant leadership
style of nurse managers
through self-evaluation and
staff nurses’ evaluations.
Thesis:
• Transformational
leadership is the
predominant style of
nurse managers
practicing at a
multinational hospital in
Saudia Arabia.
Try a short quiz. . . .
• Judge whether each example is a thesis statement
• Note what makes it a thesis statement (if it is one)
• Indicate what is missing (if it is not)
Responses
1. In Norway, 147 undergraduates participated in a pilot of
the national leadership program this September.
• This is a statement of fact (if it’s true)
• It is not an inference from evidence
• A thesis may be supported by obvious statements of fact,
but it usually involves evaluation of some kind
Responses
2. We believe that nurse administrators should not practice
transactional leadership.
• This is certainly a definite judgement, but it is presented as
•
•
•
an opinion (“we believe”)
The thesis is presumably “the hazards of this leadership
style make it inadvisable that nurse administrators practice
transactional leadership”
Even better: enumerate those hazards
This would produce a “because” statement
Responses
3. Because amount of aerobic exercise correlated positively
with high fitness and endurance, it is the most beneficial of
the three physical regimens surveyed.
• This is certainly a definite judgement, and the basis for it is
specified
• Any comment on “because”?
Responses
4. There are advantages and disadvantages to the use of
hydrogen fuel cells in electric drive vehicles.
• This is too broad
• In all but the most extreme situations, there are
advantages and disadvantages to everything
• Defining and assessing the advantages and disadvantages
would make a thesis
Responses
5. The aim of the present study was to evaluate the post-stall
airfoil characteristics of wind turbine blade elements.
• This was the aim of the study
• Add results and qualify the statement—add specifics:
Steady-state UAE-average post-stall airfoil data, and the
Viterna equations guided by flat plate theory predict the
power curve for the Phase VI UAE rotor.
Finding Thesis Statements
• Often indirectly expressed
• Special concerns discourage direct
statements
• Research method determines
extent/strength of statement
• Partly a result of format, partly a way of
maintaining objectivity
• Typically, you must infer the thesis by
examining several parts of the paper
Test Case:
Malloy, T., & Penprase, B. (2010). Nursing
leadership style and psychosocial work
environment. Journal of Nursing Management,
8, 715-724. doi: 10.1111/j.13652834.2010.01094.x
Aim
Aim?
Conclusion
“Background” Section
As a Thesis Statement:
Transformational leadership promotes a
positive psychosocial work environment
for registered nurses.
• Note that this thesis cannot be “quoted”—
it never appears in the original but must
be inferred from it
• “Cause and effect” theses are typically
described as “correlations”
Why the Obscurity?
• Precision: the thesis we eventually
created is an inference (a type of
judgment)
• Studies eliminate unjustified inference,
emphasizing objective observations
• Though the “aim” may be to prove your
hypotheses, you try not to let this affect
your research process or interpretation
Using the Thesis Statement
• A provisional thesis statement guides you
as you test your ideas against those of
others—Ask . . .
• Is the statement still supported by the
evidence?
• Does the inclusion of new information
required that it be modified?
Step 3: Create Structure
• create an outline of your paper
• introduction, methods, results, and
discussion (IMRAD)
• Disciplinary variations exist, but this is
highly influential
Structure
• Sketching the structure has two chief
benefits:
1. Immediately makes writer aware of
deficits in evidence
2. “Divide and conquer” strategy: makes the
writing task seem more manageable
Step 4: Rough Draft
• Use “freewriting”
• Let nothing stop you: missing data, weak
phrasing, confusion
• Rough in each section
• Should be completed in a single session at
this stage
Step 5: Critique
• review your draft in multiple stages:
1. Data
2. Logic
3. Diction (word choice)
Critique
• Data: Determine whether further
research/experimentation is needed
• distinguish between necessary material
(body of report) and extra material
(appendices)
Critique
• Logic: examine every statement to test for
1. relevance to your thesis: can you show
how it ultimately supports your thesis?
2. validity: do you provide a citation or
evidence to support it? Is it a logical
inference from other information?
Critique
• Diction
• Examine the stance suggested by the
wording: is the level of confidence
appropriate?
Validity Markers
a. hedges: perhaps, may, might, often,
usually, apparently, seemingly
b. emphatics (boosters): clearly,
undoubtedly, it is obvious that, of course
c. attributors: “according to Wilson (1999)”
Step 6: Revise
• Revise in same order: data, logic, and
diction
• Add a separate step to check format and
mechanics (all citations, punctuation,
grammar, references)
• Then set it aside and review it one more
time
Final Revision
• Focus on clarity, economy, and validity
• Ensure your terminology is consistent and
correct
• Eliminate wordy phrasing
• Examine your Validity and Attitude
markers
• Attitude: surprisingly, unexpectedly,
Five Revision Rules
1. Stick to the point
• delete any irrelevant information, however
interesting
• you may be able to place it in the
appendix
• removing extra information makes what
remains clearer
2. Say what you mean
• reading out loud helps
• having another person read it helps more
• never repeat a phrase you have read
elsewhere unless you understand it
thoroughly (the other writer may be
wrong)
3. Keep forward momentum
• repeat key words as necessary so that a
clear argument develops
• use appropriate connectives to ensure
clear progress (example)
Identify the connectives
In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms
lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the
first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further
dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of
70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster
rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body
water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this
rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24hour period.
In saturated air (100% relative humidity), the worms
lost about 20% of their initial body weight during the
first 20 hours but were then able to prevent further
dehydration. In contrast, worms maintained in air of
70-80% relative humidity experienced a much faster
rate of dehydration, losing 63% of their total body
water content in 24 hours. As a consequence of this
rapid dehydration, most worms died within the 24hour period.
The social condition of the rich of England did not
change greatly during the Black Death. The status
and condition of the poor changed in many ways.
Rich lords could retreat to well-guarded castles. They
suffered a low mortality. The labouring classes
remained in towns and cities. They suffered high
mortality. This exposure of the many was to the
benefit of the few. Over 30% of the labour force
died. The remaining workers could—and did—
demand higher wages. Losses among priests had
been severe. Many lay folk advanced to the clergy.
The Black Death spurred the rise of the middle
classes.
Although the social condition of the rich of England
did not change greatly during the Black Death, the
status and condition of the poor changed in many
ways. Whereas rich lords could retreat to wellguarded castles and suffered a low mortality, the
labouring classes remained in towns and cities and
suffered high mortality. However, this exposure of the
many was to the benefit of the few. Over 30% of
the labour force died, but the remaining workers
could—and did—demand higher wages. Moreover,
losses among priests had been severe; consequently,
many lay folk advanced to the clergy. Thus, the
Black Death spurred the rise of the middle classes.
4. Indicate interpretations
• Signal all interpretations clearly
The difference in absorption rates is
evident in Table 1.
4. Indicate interpretations
• Signal all interpretations clearly
Clearly, alcohol is more readily absorbed
into the bloodstream from distilled, rather
than brewed, beverages (Table 1).
5. Avoid overlap & repetition
• Be concise. . . .
Our results were based on observations
of short-term changes in behavior. These
results showed that feeding rates did not
vary with the size of the caterpillar.
5. Avoid overlap & repetition
• Be concise. . . .
Our observations of short-term changes
in behavior indicate that feeding rates did
not vary with the size of the caterpillar.
5. Avoid overlap & repetition
• Be concise. . . .
Feeding rates did not appear to vary with
the size of the caterpillar (Table 2).
6. Bonus Rule: Make Back-ups!
• Most common error: saving OVER existing
document
• Difficult to reverse
• Practice saving with a new name so this
never happens
Afterword
• Technology: can offer a clean, non-
distracting environment . . . and more
• Writeroom, Q10, Write Monkey
Write Monkey
Write Monkey
Write Monkey
Download our slideshows. . .
• go.unb.ca/wss