Stories with a Purpose: Family
Attachment Narrative Therapy
Melissa Nichols, MA, LMFT
FANT: The Importance of
the Narrative
The ability to use narratives or stories to describe an experience, contemplate a
scenario and plan for the future is a unique quality of the human race. It is
through stories that children learn cultural roles and expectations and the
meaning of concepts such as love, good and evil, freedom and truth. As the
child develops the capacity for language and beings to share thoughts and
feelings with the parent, a common perspective is shared and internalized. This
is the perspective that is retold in story form with others and with self. When
this process does not take place, behavior tends to be instinctive, impulsive and
imitative. Although thoughts are not always predictive of behavior, the way we
think is reflective in out action.
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts (stories) we make the world.”
Dhammapada (Buddhist Observation)
“Beware of the stories you tell yourself For you will surely live them”
“Cultural Tales” George Howard (1991)
“For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7 NKJV Bible
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FANT: Theoretical Basis
Theory
 Attachment disordered children have a
self-defeating internal working model
 Problem behavior is often a reflection of
this internal perspective
 This destructive perspective can be
permanently shifted and healed
 The positive emotional connection
(attunement) between a parent/child is
innate and does not have to be taught.
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FANT: Theoretical Basis
Methodology
 Parents tell all the narratives
 Parents do all of the nurturing holding
 Holding is NOT used to work through
intense emotions
 Intense emotions are addressed with EMDR
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FANT: Theoretical Basis
Narrative Themes
 Attachment & bonding
 Trauma history
 Behavior change
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Attachment Program
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Diagnostic Interview
Assessment
Data: Past Evaluations, Records, etc.
Observational
Staff Coordination
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Attachment Program
Intensive Structure:
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Lead Therapist/Play Therapist
Time: length & frequency
Assessments
Attachment Worksheet: recommendations
Final Report
Follow-up Assessments
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Activating Parental
Attunement
Rather than assuming the role as expert, the task of the
therapist is to facilitate the parent’s innate ability to attune
to their child’s internal process. This means that the
therapist elevates the parent to the status of expert in
identifying components of their child’s perspective or
internal working model. This process begins as the
therapist employs an affirming, inquiring, questioning
method of eliciting the parent’s intuitive knowledge of the
child’s motivating thoughts and emotions.
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Activating Parental
Attunement
 Parent’s experience
 Child’s background
 What would your child be like if you
had started out together?
 Child’s thoughts and feelings
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Shifting
Inner Working Model
with Narratives
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Why Do Stories Work?
 Stories are culturally universal and timeless
 Organizes memories and gives meaning to life
(coherent narrative)
 Stories promote neural integration of thinking and
feeling
 Stories channel a different perspective of life
events--Change the story, change self
understanding
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Constructing Stories
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Setting
Props
Perspective
Hero
Message
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Types of Narratives
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Claiming
Developmental
Trauma
Successful Child
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Claiming Narratives
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Strengthens emotional bond
Facilitates trust
Establishes birth order
Extended family
Passes on traditions, history, rituals
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Developmental Narratives
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Facilitates cognitive development
Enhances emotional regulation
Builds relationships
Remedial skill building
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Narrative Themes
From the first, you were a child that
deserved to be loved and cared
for by parents you could trust.
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Trauma Narratives
 Heals pain of trauma
 Creates empathy
 Fosters understanding
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Narrative Themes
Even though you experienced
abuse, abandonment,
neglect, you deserved to be
loved and cared for by
responsible parents.
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Successful Child Narratives
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Teaches values
Reinforces cause and effect thinking
Presents alternative behaviors
Explains basics of “How To Do” life
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Narrative Themes
Your problem behavior does not
define your value and we will
be there to love and support
you as you make changes.
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Additional Resources
 Parenting with Stories: Creating a foundation of
attachment for parenting your child (Nichols,
Lacher & May, 2002)
 Connecting with Kids (Lacher, Nichols, & May,
2006)
 First Steps for Strengthening Adoptive
Families (DVD & Study Guide)
 Website: www.familyattachment.com
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Supporting Research
Bower, G.H. & Morrow, D. G. (1990). Mental Models in Narrative Comprehension. Hillsdale,
NJ: Lawrence-Erlbaum.
In order to make sense of a narrative or story, there must be an identification with a protagonist which allows a here and
now perspective to be adopted. In doing so, the narrative has the capacity to travel back and forward in time and space,
thus allowing the message to become immediately relevant.
Charon, J.M. (1985). Symbolic Interactionism: An Introduction, Interpretation, and Integration.
Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
The process of verbally interacting with self and others is essential in the development of the ability to evaluate present
behavior and plan for change in the future.
Osofsky, J.D. (1993). Applied Psychoanalysis: How research with infants and adolescents at high
psychosocial risk informs psychoanalysis. Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association, 41, 193-207.
The inability to form a coherent strategy to ensure protection from the caregiver has been identified in the narratives of
maltreated children. Children exposed to disruption and family violence typically construct an incoherent, chaotic life
narrative.
Pynoos, R.S., Steinberg, A.M., & Goenjian, A. (1996). Tramatic Stress in Childhood and Adolescence:
Recent Developments and Current Controversies. In B.A. van der Kolk & A.C. McFarlane (Eds.) Traumatic
Stress (pp. 331-358). New York: Guilford Press.
When faced with a frightening situation, the inability to contemplate a solution seems to retard developmental
accomplishments and interfere with successful processing of subsequent traumatic events.
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Supporting Research
Siegel, D.J. (1999). The Developing Mind: toward a Neurobiology of Interpersonal Experience. New York:
Guilford Press.
Parent-child reflective dialogue that identifies the mental state that fuels behavior, perceptions, intentions, goals, beliefs and
desires seem to promote both secure attachment and the integrative process of co-construction of narratives.
Solomon, J. George, C., & DeJong, A. (1995). Children Classified as Controlling at Age Six: Evidence of
Disorganized Representational Strategies and Aggression at Home and School. Development and
Psychopathology. 7, 447-464.
Securely attached children typically tell stories in which the child protagonist struggles, finds a solution and ultimately lives
happily ever after.
Zwaan, R. A. (1999). Situation Models: The mental Leap into Imagined Worlds. Current Directions in
Psychological Science, 8, 15-18.
The experience of narrative is the same as being in or observing the real situation.
The Innate Quality of Attunement
George, C. & Solomon, J. (1999). Attachment and Caregiving: The Caregiving Behavioral System. In J.
Cassidy & P. Shaver (Eds.) Handbook of Attachment: Theory, Research and Clinical Applications (pp. 649670). New York: Guilford Press.
In order to ensure survival, the parent is biologically driven to provide care and protection in the same way the child seeks
proximity in order to be cared for and protected by the caregiver. Just as the infant is physiologically comforted when the
parent is available, the mother experiences strong emotions of pleasure and satisfaction when she is able to provide
protection and heightened anger, sadness or despair when her ability to be available to her child is threatened.
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Supporting Research
Support
Crockenberg, S.B. Infant Irritability, Mother responsiveness, and Social Support Influences on Security of
Infant-Mother Attachment. Child Development 52, 857-865.
FANT
May, J.C. (2005). Family Attachment Narrative Therapy: Healing the Experience of Early Childhood
Maltreatment. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 31, 221-237.
Parenting Resources
Bailey, B.A. (2000). I Love You Rituals. New York: Harper.
Glasser, H. N. & Easley, J.L. (1999). Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach. Tucson,
AZ: Center for the Difficult Child.
Jernberg, A.M. & Booth, P.B. (1997). Theraplay: Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships
Through Attachment Based Play (2nd ed.) San Francisco: Jossey Bass.
Kranowitz, C.S. & Miller, L.J. (2006). Out of Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing
Disorder. New York: Perigree.
Nelson, J. (2006). Positive Discipline . New York: Ballantine.
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Family Attachment Center
18322C Minnetonka Blvd
Deephaven, MN 55391
952-475-2818
www.familyattachment.com
 2008