Strawser 1 Here to Scream Taryn Danae Strawser Literature and Writing Seminar (Capstone) Major Portfolio Fall 2013 Strawser 2 Table of Contents for Major Portfolio Main title page……………………………………………………………………………1 Table of Contents…………………………………………………………………………2 Author’s Note of Thanks and Dedication………………………..……………………….4 Here to Scream: Self-Reflective Essay…………………………………………………...5 Sextuplets, Septuplets, and Octuplets: The Controversy, Risks, and Rewards of Having High-Order Multiples: Research Paper………………………………………..12 Comparison of Queen Jocasta in Oedipus Rex and Lady Macbeth in Macbeth: The Literary Imagination ………………………………………………………………25 A Comparison of Medea and Jason (Timed Writing Piece): Comparative World Literature …………………………………………………………30 As You Dream It: Fine Arts 101 ………………………………………………………..33 War, Power and Change in Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games Trilogy: American Literature Since The Civil War ………………………………………………41 Philosophy of Education: Multicultural Relations………………………………………..47 Love, Lust, Likeness, and Lawerence: An In-depth look at D. H. Lawerence’s The Rocking Horse Winner and The Horse Dealer’s Daughter: Major Authors……………………… 53 Strawser 3 “Die, die, die, die, die”: My Rendition of the Pyramus and Thisbe Play Featured in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream…………………………………………..……… 63 Wow What a Woman! Signy of the Volsunga Saga Literary Periods: Medieval……………………………………………………………….. 79 Of Walkers and Women: Unruly Women Cannot Topple The Patriarchy Even in The Zombie Apocalypse Selected Topics: Unruly Women in Literature……………………………………………..88 Into That Night: An Explanation to The Autobiographical Choices Made by Elie Wiesel in His Novel Night: Genre Studies: Autobiographies………………………..103 To Create Witness: Senior Project Part I (academic) Literature and Writing Seminar (Capstone)……………………………………………….116 To Bear Witness Senior Project Part II: Creative Literature and Writing Seminar (Capstone)………….…………………………………..138 Strawser 4 Author’s Note of Thanks and Dedication I would like to give credit where credit is due. First to my family: Granny the biggest thank you of all goes to you. Thank you for staying up with me several nights in a row and especially for staying up with me the full twenty-four hours when the first draft was due. Thank you for your words of encouragement and support. Mom, thanks for keeping me on track and helping me any way you could. Trevor thanks for keeping me awake and for offering your opinions on my creative piece. Pap-Pa and Daddy thanks for your support. Ma thanks for making me laugh by saying “Are you ready for bed yet babe? You’re not? My lands what’s a matter with those teachers giving you this much work?” Thanks for the occasion company Malvolio. I love you all. To my boyfriend Douglas Roy, you have been my rock this semester. Sorry I have been such a bear. We made it through this semester so we can make it through anything. Thanks for being here to listen to me grump and to wipe my eyes. I love you so much dearwest. To two of my biggest supporters this semester I give thanks. Kyra, thanks for being here for me and ranting with me no matter what time of the day or night. Larry, thanks for being the coolest professor who has kept me sane. You are so understanding. Thanks to God for EVERYTHING and for seeing me through—enough said. Finally, this portfolio is dedicated to my Calico, Miss Kitty Cat Shook. Thank you for never leaving my side from the first paper in this portfolio to the last. You are my angel and I love you so much. Strawser 5 Here to Scream Self Reflective Essay Literature and Writing Seminar: Capstone Dr. Heather Duda/Dr. April Julier 5 December 2013 Here to Scream “I need more dreams and less life. And I need that dark, in a little more light. I cried tears you’ll never see. So (explicative) you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be. You are what you love, not who loves you. In a world full of the word yes, I’m here to scream: No, no. Wherever I go, go, trouble seems to follow.”–Fall Out Boy featuring Elton John, “Save Rock and Roll” Music has been a huge part of my life, as has English. The two classes I enjoyed the most in high school were band and Language Arts. Even now in college, as I am pursing two English degrees, my commute is punctuated with music. So I found it only fitting that I start my revised self-reflective essay about my English career with song lyrics from the band that has provided the soundtrack to my senior year. Originally my essay was about how I am uncertain with what I want to do with my life, but I know I have been well trained in my academic career. After my exit interview with the English faculty, however, even though I am now more uncertain than ever about my future career choice and am questioning how successful my academic career really has been, it was suggested that I focus on the reoccurring theme I have had in most of my papers Strawser 6 throughout the years, which is strong women. Looking back now these strong women are a reoccurring theme, one that fits in with my life and these song lyrics. “I need more dreams and less life,” is the first lyric to Fall Out Boy’s “Save Rock and Roll.” When I started my college career I had big dreams. I began my college career while I was a junior in high school. A professor from The University of Rio Grande came to my high school to mold our immature high school minds into brilliant collegiate works of art. My research paper which is included in my portfolio is called “Sextuplets, Septuplets, and Octuplets: The Controversy, Risks, and Rewards of Having High-Order Multiples.” The piece is weak because my writing abilities were weak. However, this was the beginnings of my focus on strong women. Kate Gosselin, a mother of sextuplets is mentioned in my research paper. I admired her because she was able to do something I would most likely never physically be able to do, which is carry six babies to a viable gestation. With my autonomic disorder, my future childbearing plans could possibly not pan out and so, I also wrote this paper while I was experiencing one of the worst flare ups I have ever had of my disorder. I was dreaming about the day when I would feel better and dreaming even further ahead to when I could do the only thing I wanted to do in life which is become a mother (not to mention, which is evident from my topic, I was hoping someday to have a set of multiples). I put my dreams of future motherhood on hold to pursue a college career. After doing so, now that I am on the cusp of graduation, I am realizing that sometimes academia can be a nightmare so I need more dreams and less life. I need to remember what first caused me to write that research paper, and I need to dream about the day when I can prove, hopefully, that I am physically strong by becoming a mother and realizing a dream of mine. If I happen to be blessed with a multiple pregnancy well, then, I really will have come full circle. “And I need that dark, in a little more light,” is ironically the second lyric that best Strawser 7 describes my second paper. I included a Literary Imagination paper that focused on Queen Jocasta from Oedipus Rex and Lady Macbeth from Macbeth. Upon my senior year of high school, due to the financial funding being lost for the next round of my college classes, I was forced to take English IV. I had to dumb myself down by separating myself from my new college voice to please a high school teacher. I felt like I was in the dark. When I graduated and was finally a college freshman, I found that dark in a little more light. I was able to take my academic darkness, my insecurities about writing and thrust them into the light of the college world. I was also able to refine my academic voice by writing about two notoriously strong literary women. Arguments could be made that these women were both in the wrong with their situations, but I saw the strength they both brought to their stories. Jocasta decided to take her own life at the end of her literary work which shows she was strong enough to end things on her terms. Lady Macbeth stood up to and controlled her husband. Years after my freshman year of college when I was in a verbally abuse relationship, Lady Macbeth was in a way, a character I could look up to. She ruled her husband in a way I could never hope to do if I stayed in that relationship, due to my very controlled life. “I cried tears you’ll never see,” pretty much sums up my entire college career and thus is fitting for the middle of the portfolio. In the middle of penning papers about these strong women, I have been faced with a number of challenges both personally and academically. I am also a chronic crier. I have cried beyond my fair share of times while at Rio. However, with the exception of one time, I was able to show myself that I was strong enough to make it to my car before bursting out into tears. While I was writing my Medea and Jason timed piece and my Educational Philosophy paper, I was going through a terrible break up. The controlling boyfriend dumped me over the phone after eighteen months. Thinking my life was over, I threw myself Strawser 8 into my writing and academic work. I delighted in reading and writing about Medea who is strong by standing up to her male oppressor. My educational philosophy paper was my way to once again prove to myself that I was strong. I was strong (at the time—not so much anymore) in my desire to teach. I was able to create my own educational philosophy and finally gained some confidence back. I cried while writing my one act play and my Hunger Games paper because I was sick a lot that semester. I was going through a relapse of my disorder. At times, I could not even hold my head up off of my pillow, but I could read The Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay and travel alongside Katniss to Panem. I went through the games with her by reading her story and was proud of her for surviving her challenges and proud of myself for surviving mine. My one act play is telling because the main character starts out weak and finishes strong. I too was weak during the semester but was able to find inner strength, fight back and hide my tears, and finish with a strong GPA. “So (explicative) you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be,” pretty much sums up the last two years of my experience at Rio. I am not a fan of curse words and especially not the “f” word, but I have been so frustrated with this college for various reasons that this lyric fits my upper level papers. Once again, from Signy to the women of The Walking Dead to the feminine male Ellie Wiesel, I have once again focused my work on strong women, or in Wiesel’s case a young, feminine, but strong man. On days when I wanted to flip the middle finger to this university, I was able to jump into these papers and bury myself into my academic works. I was able to mentally tell the college to “leave me be” when I found out that I was academically the strongest woman (and student) on campus when I was honored with serving as a student marshal Strawser 9 because I had the highest GPA of the entire university. Despite illness and at times adversity, I was able to once and for all prove my strength. “You are what you love, not who loves you.” Over the summer before my senior year, I decided to add a Communications Associate to my education. Communications is something that I love so I knew it would become a part of me. The course load I signed up for was terrifying at twenty-three credit hours and seventy observation hours. However, like the song suggests despite the opposition I received, I am not who loves me, or who doesn’t. Communications and knowing that I would need a vast array of writing experiences is why I planned to write a creative piece for my senior project. I was so academic for so long that I wanted to find my creative voice. Flash forward to the first half of my senior year and “In a world full of the word yes, I’m here to scream: No, no,” seems to fit perfectly. Capstone has felt like a world full of the word yes, for some people. When I first told I should not write a creative piece, but only an academic piece, I used my strength to “scream no, no,” which is why my senior project is half academic, half creative. I decided that is was my portfolio and I while others were being told, “yes” they could write on whatever they wanted, I decided to scream no and take control of my project. However, thanks to my senior project choices and other reasons, the last line of the song fits perfectly to the end of the first semester of my senior year, “Wherever I go, go, trouble seems to follow.” When I went in for my exit interview I was expecting it to go one of two ways; it went in a more negative direction. I sat there and had papers from as early as Comp. II criticized. When my professors chose not to look at my progression, but rather to look at my beginning work and offer criticism, it seems like wherever I go (go) academically, trouble seems to follow Strawser 10 me. I felt as if I was very accomplished but I have now begun to question my entire three and a half years of college. However, I am here to scream. I am a strong woman, like the women I wrote about. Not many people with my condition complete college, let alone graduate with three degrees. I do know what I am doing academically and despite some rudely stated and written opinions, this portfolio shows my success. I may not have a clue what I am doing with the rest of my life, but when I finish out this semester, I will know that I have done my best, and in the end, my opinion is the only one that matters. Fall Out Boy may plug in to “Save Rock and Roll,” but I plug in to save the strong woman that I am, always have been, and always will be. Strawser 11 Works Cited Fall Out Boy. Save Rock and Roll. Island, 2013. CD. Strawser 12 Sextuplets, Septuplets, and Octuplets: The Controversy, Risks, and Rewards of Having High-Order Multiples By Taryn Danae Strawser ENG 11203 Composition II Professor Elizabeth Brown April 20, 2009 Strawser 13 Outline for Sextuplets, Sectuplets, and Octuplets: The Controversy, Risks, and Rewards of Having High Order Multiples I. Introduction II. General Information/Background A. Types of the multiple births B. Likeliness of occurrence C. Famous cases of multiple births that will be referred to in the paper. III. Controversy A. The financial burden the babies bring B. The emotional burden the babies bring C. Multi-fetal reduction IV. Risks A. Major risks to babies B. Major risks to mothers C. Emotional risks (how the father/siblings will adjust) V. Rewards A. Rewards the birth brings B. Rewards the babies’ growing up brings VI. Conclusion Strawser 14 Sextuplets, Sectuplets, and Octuplets: The Controversy, Risks, and Rewards of Having High- Order Multiples “As if in a trance we all continued to stare, as slowly and steadily as my doctor began his fateful count. One. Two. Three. Four. I started sobbing…I turned to Jon, willing him to say it was not what is seemed. The chill of reality washed over me as I watched my husband- my best friend, cheerleader, and storehouse of strength- slowly drop to his knees at the count of five. Fear stricken and nauseous, he couldn’t bear to look anymore. I really didn’t think anybody wanted to look anymore. Six.” Kate Gosseling, “Multiple Blessings” Most people are ecstatic to find out that they are expecting a baby and many expectant parents receive exactly that: one baby. Sometimes twins or triplets are born and parents have their hands full. But what would happen if one or two or even three babies turned into six or seven or even eight babies? When six, seven, or eight babies are born at once, the pregnancy is called a high-order multiple pregnancy/ the birth of sextuplets (six), septuplets 9seven), and octuplets 9eight) causes controversy, brings risks to both the babies and mother and allows many rewards through the years for the family. High-order multiples are a rarity. When multiples are conceived they are either monozygotic or multizygotic. The prefix mono means “one,” and monozygotic babies all form from a single zygote (Fierro 16). In layman’s terms it means that one egg combines with one sperm and is fertilized then split into two or more different embryos. Monozygotic twins are common but monozygotic high-order multiples are very rare. “Most super twins (another word for these babies) are multizygotic meaning single egg- Strawser 15 and-sperm combination. Sometimes a pair of individuals within the multiple set will be monozygotic and the rest will be dizygotic (meaning the rest will be conceived with one sperm and one egg)” (Fierro 26). The bottom line is monozygotic means multiple babies come from the same egg and sperm and dizygotic means only one baby from each egg and sperm. High order multiple births occur due to either assisted reproductive technology or medication. The three types of assisted reproductive technology include: In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF), Gamete Intra-Fallopian Transfer (GIFT) and Zygote Intra-Fallopian Transfer (ZIFT). With IVF, eggs are harvested from the mother’s ovaries and combined with sperm in a laboratory. Then the fertilized eggs-or embryos- are placed into the woman’s uterus. GIFT occurs when the eggs are fertilized inside the woman’s body. The mother’s eggs are removed from her ovaries and placed into her uterus. ZIFT, also known as tubal embryo transfer, takes place when eggs are fertilized in the lab then placed in the mother’s fallopian tube (rather than placed in the uterus as with IVF) (Fierro 28). Medications may also cause sextuplets, septuplets or octuplets. The medications fall under two categories: oral or injectable . A common oral medicine is Clomid. Clomid is often the first option for infertility, and has been used in the medical world for more than twenty-five years. Approximately 60% to 80% of women who take Clomid will ovulate, and of that percentage about half will get pregnant as result of taking the drug “Trying”. Injectable hormones come in six forms. These injections can be given with Clomid. Injections are more likely to cause multiple births than oral medications. When discussing the background of high-order births it is important to discuss famous cases. The first set of surviving sextuplets born in the U.S. was born in 1993 to Keith and Becki Dilley. The six babies were conceived using a drug called Pergonal. The four boys and two girls Strawser 16 are healthy at present date. Jon and Kate Gosselin became the parents to three boys and three girls in 2004. The Gosselins already had a set of twin girls, bringing their total number of children to eight. In 1997, Kennedy and Bobbi McCoughey became the parents to the world’s first set of surviving septuplets. The four boys and three girls are mostly healthy although two suffer from cerebral palsy/ The Chukuru family welcomed eight new members into their family in 1998. Six girls and two boys were born to this family of Nigerian heritage. Sadly, the smallest girl died due to heart and lung failure. The others remain healthy and welcomed a little sister in 2002. A new set of octuplets were born to Nadya Suleman on January 26, 2009. The two girls and six boys are the longest living set of octuplets on record. The infants will join their six siblings (between ages two and seven) when released from the hospital. It is unknown if the babies will have any medical problems, but older brother, Aiden is autistic and one of the other siblings has ADHA along with another having a speech impairment. Born along with each multiple birth baby is controversy. These babies are viewed by many financial and emotional burdens. The topic of multi-fetal reduction also sparks outrage. The most recent multiples, the Suleman octuplets, have some United States citizens fired up. The babies are viewed as inconveniences. Tabloid magazines have had an outpouring of incriminating articles and despite the articles and a Dateline interview the mother of fourteen has said little to defend her children thus far. With the current economic slump, the people of the U.S. view the Suleman octuplets as financial burdens. “Although she talks about returning to college to finish her master’s degree, Nadya Suleman has no job and no income save for supplemental security income payments for three of her children and $490 a month in food stamps. Yet, when Suleman learned she was Strawser 17 carrying at least seven fetuses, she was delighted” (Celizic). When asked in her Dateline interview how much debt she was in, Suleman replied “Probably 50, close to 50” (qtd. In Celizic). She was referring to fifty thousand dollars. The babies’ hospital bill could run between $1.5 to $3 million and Kaiser Permanente (hospital) has already asked Medi-Cal, the state health insurance system, to pay the bill. Is it any wonder, she is causing such controversy? Suleman is living off of her children’s health problems and food stamps. When she goes back to get her Master’s in the fall, she will put her octuplets in the school’s day care (Smolowe 72). Another controversy is that multiple birth babies are viewed as emotional burdens. In the case of the Suleman octuplets people fear the mother will soon have a mental breakdown due to her optimism that her life will be perfect. “Such blind optimism has mental health experts worried. ‘There is no way she can provide enough love and attention for the basic needs of 14 children’ psychiatrist Carole Liberman, who called child protective service tells US(54). In fact, Suleman could be bullied into a mental breakdown due to all the threats on her life. Nadya has received letters and e-mails saying she deserved to die. Her publicists have abandoned her after they received death threats (“America’s” 23). The Dateline interviewer, Ann Curry, dubbed her as “the most vilified mother in America.” Suleman’s children have never met their biological father and even her church denies her membership. But perhaps the most shocking element is her response during Dateline interview. When asked about implanting a whopping six embryos into herself when she already had six children, she stated that life is not always fair and idealistic and her other children can deal with it. She is the most disliked mother of high order multiples. Multi-fetal pregnancy reduction is a topic that accompanies high-order multiple pregnancies and is very controversial. When multi-fetal pregnancy reduction occurs, one or more of the fetuses are terminated. “Today, multi-fetal pregnancy reduction frequently is offered to woman Strawser 18 carrying three or more babies. Because very high multiples are nearly always born early, they are at greater risk for long-term problems caused by prematurely (Bowers 191 ). Many questions and disagreements arise with the discussion of this procedure. How can parents choose which fetus or fetuses to terminate? Is this procedure feticide or abortion? Does the religion of the parents affect the decision? To answer the first question nurse Nancy Bowers suggests: With selective reduction, specific fetuses are designated for reduction rather than randomly chosen. Fetuses may be selected because they do not appear to be as well developed or have smaller gestational sacs than others. Two fetuses who share a placenta (identical twins) may be selected because they are more likely to have problems, or fetus with a known or suspected birth defect may be selected for reduction. When there is no reason for choosing a specific fetus, selection may depend on the fetus’s location in the uterus and accessibility (192). In response to the second question, “reduction is sometimes considered an abortion, although technically it is not since the fetus or fetuses are not removed from the uterus. And, the intention is that the pregnancy continues. However, many people feel that reduction is, in essence, an abortion because it is the planned death of a fetus” (Bowers 192). Many parents do not want to plan the deaths of their children. The answer to the third question is yes, the religion of the parents does affect the decision to selectively reduce the pregnancy. Many famous multiple parents made the decision to not reduce based on the religion. The Chukuru family and Nadya Suleman both decided not to reduce their octuplets based on their belief that the process is murder. Kate Gosselin was asked to reduce her sextuplets and replied: “I didn’t. I couldn’t… Tell me how I as a mother would go about “selecting” which beating heart to snuff out as if it were just a candle…I can only answer Strawser 19 for myself and ‘as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’… Who would live and who would die was not a decision that rested in our human hands” (37). The bottom line with this process of selective reduction is it is the parent’s choice. Even if reduction does occur, healthy babies are not guaranteed. Also, the parents may feel grief after choosing which of their precious babies is allowed to live and which was allowed to die. Risks are a huge part of the pregnancy and birth of sextuplets, septuplets, and octuplets. Major risks for the babies and mother as well as minor risks for both do occur. Emotional risks are also another factor. What are these risks? Major risks to the babies include: miscarriage, twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, and premature birth. Miscarry means “to lose a fetus before it has developed enough to survive outside the uterus” (Landau 54) The chance of miscarrying multiples before the twentieth week of pregnancy is slightly higher than with a singleton (one baby). A common cause of miscarriage is an incompetent cervix. In fact this is believed to be the cause of many secondtrimester miscarriages. Miscarriage is a very real and very frightening risk. Kate Gosselin experienced a near miscarriage with her sextuplets. She writes:”I woke in the middle of the night feeling what no pregnant woman in her first trimester wants to feel-a tremendous surge of fluid that could only mean something was terribly wrong…The doctor sharply called for a plastic collection cup-as a nurse, I knew what that meant. The doctor felt I was having a miscarriage and needed to collect tissue to verify it’s content….I felt it all slipping away…I wanted these babies and I was ready to fight for them(44) Luckily the Gosselins did not miscarry any of their sextuplets. Other families have not been so fortunate. Twin-to-twin transfusion is an additional risk. When this occurs, researchers believe one, possibly more of the fetuses die and are absorbed by the mother’s body. Loss of one baby after Strawser 20 the first trimester is called intrauterine fetal demise (IUFD) (Curtis and Schuler 13-14). Twin-totwin transfusion also occurs in a smaller multiple births such as twins or triplets let alone with sextuplets, septuplets, or octuplets. Premature birth is a very major risk associated with higher-order multiple births. Infants from multiple pregnancies are more likely to be born prematurely and are more likely to require neonatal intensive care (Pramanik). Premature babies also known as preemies suffer from a wide array of problems. The babies’ underdeveloped lungs require ventilators to help them breathe and they may suffer from asthma later in life. Other complications include jaundice (caused by an excess of bilirubin) retinopathy (retinal damage that may cause temporary blindness or permanent vision damage) and anemia and reflux (also known as vomiting caused by backed up stomach acids). Medical issues such as cerebral palsy, learning disabilities, and hyperactivity may not show up until later in life. Cardiovascular conditions such as apnea, bradycardia, arterial septal defect (ASD), and neurological disorders such as epilepsy, mental retardation and death can occur due to premature birth. Figure 1.2 Preemie Viability Chart-This chart shows the impact of prematurely on the babies. Preemie Viability Weeks Gestation Survival Rate Impact 23 weeks 30% survive 100% of survivors have major disability 24 weeks 60-65% survive 40-50% have major disability 25 weeks 70% survive Varies depending on complications Strawser 21 26 weeks 75% survive Varies depending on complications 28 weeks and up 80% + survive Varies depending on complications Source: Fierro, Pamela. The Everything Twins, Triplets, and More Book. Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media 2005. The mother is a very important factor to any pregnancy, especially a multiple pregnancy. Like her babies, the mom faces many risks, even those that are life threatening. The major risks mothers face include: iron deficiency anemia, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, and preterm labor. Iron Deficiency Anemia is a condition characterized by low levels of iron in the red blood cells which carry oxygen to the tissues” (Hadden). This deficiency can cause complications during labor for both mom and babies. Gestational Diabetes is another major risk. This risk causes an imbalance of insulin and glucose in the body. It will most likely clear up after delivery. Preeclampsia is also a concern. “Characterized by a rapid rise in blood pressure, the presence of protein in the urine, sudden and extreme weight gain and swelling of the hands and face from fluid retention… it occurs in nearly one in three multiple pregnancies” (Hadden). Preterm labor is one of the biggest risks. It is a simple fact that babies of this multitude will not carry to full term, but it is crucial that multiple babies be carried as long as possible. To prevent preterm labor, bed rest is usually assigned to the mother. Bed rest proves to be boring for the mother and causes such risks as blood clots and Strawser 22 decreasing appetite, which will hurt the growth of the tiny six, seven, or eight babies inside her. Mothers are faced with the choice of the lesser of two evils when put in that situation. Minor risk to the mother include being off balance, their hair may fall out, and their foot size may change. Emotional risks are a worry with multiple births. Couples can be driven apart due to the stress of raising so many same age children. Also the father may not feel involved because he does not get to be pregnant nor does he receive an immense amount of special attention after the birth. Siblings born outside of the multiple set may feel jealousy or left out of the group. Emotional problems can be worked out through counseling. Rewards are a great element of multiple births. The babies’ birth and growing up can be very special for both the parents and the children. The birth is viewed as a milestone. Many parents rejoice in the fact that their babies are finally here. When Kate Gosselin saw her babies for the first time her reaction was: “They were so adorable…First, I told each baby that I loved him or her and that he or she was created for a purpose. Second, I whispered to them that I was so very sorry that they had to be there in that nursery with so many tubes and needle, monitors and machines”(79). When the babies grow up rewards follow as well. Each year the love between the parents and children grow. The Dilleys admit they do not regret having sextuplets and Nadya Suleman always mentions in every interview that her octuplets are blessings in her life. Whether it’s while taking six little children to school or while receiving seven hugs or eight kisses its apparent that these children are pieces of good fortune to their families. High order multiple births cause controversy, bring risks and supply rewards. This rare occurrence is seen as a bother to some and a miracle to others. The bottom line is these six, seven, or eight babies born at one time supply enough love to override the heartbreaking controversy and prove they are worth the risks. Even the “most vilified mother in America, Strawser 23 Nadya Sulemon has feelings of love and protectiveness over her children. Kate Gosselin sums up her multiple blessing by saying: “I feel so incredibly blessed that God has chosen us for this journey. This life is absolutely not in a million years what Jon and I expected, but it is infinitely more than we ever hoped or dreamed in so many ways”(187). Strawser 24 Works Cited “America’s Most Controversial Mother.” Life and Style 6.9 (2 March 2009): 22-25 Bowers, Nancy. The Multiple Pregnancy Sourcebook: Pregnancy and the First Days with Twins, Triplets, and More. Chicago: Contemporary Books, 2001. Celizic, Mike. ‘”Everythig I do revolves around my children’ Octuplets’ mom explains her decision to add newest eight into her life” NBC 10 Feb. 2009. 16 March 2009. http://www.nbc.com/ Curtis, Dr. Glade B. and Judith Schuler. Your Pregnancy Quick Guide: Twins, Triplets and More. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press 2005. Fierro, Pamela. The Everything Twins, Triplets, and More Book. Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media 2005. Gosselin, Jon and Kate and Beth Carson. Multiple Blessings. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2008. Haddon, Lynda P. “Possible Risks for Mom of a Multiple Birth Pregnancy.” Multiple Births Families. Feb. 20, 2009. http://www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com Landau, Elaine. Multiple Births. New York: Franklin Watts, 1998. Pramanick, Arun K. and Susannah P. Ford. “Complications” Multiple Births Families. Feb. 21, 2009. http://www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com Smolowe, Jill. “The Challenge of Her Life” People 71.7 (23 Februrary 2009): 50-57. “Trying to Conceive: Fertillity Drugs.” WebMD Medical Reference. Reviewed by Charlotte E. Grayson Mathis. Septemember 1, 2003. March 17, 2009. Strawser 25 Comparison of Queen Jocasta in Oedipus Rex and Lady Macbeth in Macbeth Taryn Strawser The Literary Imagination Dr. Elizabeth Brown December 2010 Beside nearly every major male character in drama stands a strong supporting woman. Many dramas feature women in the roles of nobility. The play Oedipus Rex by Sophocles and the play Macbeth by William Shakespeare both feature one woman as a strong supporting character, who stands by the male lead. In Oedipus Rex the female in the supporting role is Jocasta, Queen of Thebes. Likewise in Macbeth, the female lead is Lady Macbeth. These two female characters are vitally important to both dramas. They have many aspects that are alike and many more that are different. Three major points to compare and contrast are: the ladies’ personalities, their relationship with the male lead and the nature of their deaths. The first point of comparison is the personality of the two women. They are different in personality. Queen Jocasta is not as cunning in planning as Lady Macbeth. Jocasta is told in a prophecy that her infant son will grow up to kill her current husband (Laius, the baby’s father) and marry (and have sexual relations with her). Horrified by this prophecy, Jocasta has her newborn son’s heels pierced and sends him with a messenger. She believes that the baby has been abandoned and dies in the wilderness. Later she finds out that did not happen at all. The messenger gave baby Oedipus to a shepherd, who in turn gave him to the childless king and queen in a neighboring town. Almost two decades later the son she thought she disposed of kills her husband in a road rage dispute. Her son then solves the riddle of the monstrous sphinx that Strawser 26 has been terrorizing Thebes. The sphinx kills herself and Oedipus is the new town hero. He weds Jocasta and she bares four children by him. Her plan definitely failed. Personality wise, Lady Macbeth is very cunning in planning. She gets the job done no matter what the cost to herself or others. Her husband, Macbeth is old in a prophecy that he will eventually become king. She knows the only way for this to happen is in the event of the death of the current king, Duncan. She decides Macbeth will speed the process along, by killing Duncan. When the time comes, Macbeth starts going insane and wants to back down. Lady Macbeth bullies him and forces him to do it. He does and is crowned king. More differences in personality are evident. Jocasta is more not as evil as Lady Macbeth. She does not bully either of her husbands. Lady Macbeth is pushy, whereas Jocasta urges Oedipus to leave the truth about his identity a secret. On another note, both women do have one element in common: they are both demented in personality. What mother would send her hours old son to slaughter in the wilderness just to cure a problem? Also, what wife would plot a murder and force her husband to commit it or else he will face consequences? These women obviously do not have guilty consciousness or remorse. They also have a warped sense of the important value of human life. A second point of comparison between Queen Jocasta and Lady Macbeth is the differences in their relationships to the male lead in their individual play. Jocasta has an extremely odd and rare relationship with Oedipus. She is both his mother and wife. She bore him and later was intimate with him when he became a man. She has an incestuous relationship and does not realize it until it is too late. In some eyes she has committed the worst kind of incest, a mother with a son. Her second husband resided in her womb before her children, his siblings did. Strawser 27 On the other hand, Lady Macbeth is not related to her husband. She is married to him, and brings her own bloodline to the marriage, unlike Jocasta. Lady Macbeth is also cruel to her husband, whereas Jocasta is seemingly loving until the very end. The third and final major point of comparison is the deaths of these two women. Jocasta and Lady Macbeth both commit suicide. The manner in which they do this is different, however, as are the circumstances. Jocasta hangs herself after finally realizing the truth about the incest. She is found hanging by a noose over the very same bed where she and Laius conceived Oedipus and where she and Oedipus conceived their two sons and two daughters. Lady Macbeth kills herself, but she goes insane first. She sees blood on her hand, a subconscious hint of her guiltiness in the murder of Duncan. She sleepwalks and tries again and again to remove the blood with no luck. The husbands’ reactions to the deaths of their spouses are also quite interesting. Oedipus finds Jocasta, cries, gently pulls her down and detaches her from the noose. Then he does the unthinkable: he takes the shoulder brooches from her gown and stabs out his own eyes, so that he may never see the looks of disgust from the townspeople when the story is reveled. This reaction is very extreme, and described as a horrible sight with blood spurting out of his sockets like red hail. He is left to wander around as a blind beggar the rest of his days. Macbeth, on the flip side, is mad that his wife chose that day to die. It is the day of his huge faceoff against enemy, Macduff. He is not mournful like Oedipus. He ends up joining his wife shortly thereafter. He is murdered by Macduff. Some minor differences include: the title of the women, the number of children each have, and the time period and setting of the plays. The women have different titles, because Strawser 28 Jocasta is Queen of Thebes and Lady Macbeth is just that, a Lady. This shows that Jocasta is far higher up in nobility than Lady Macbeth, although Lady Macbeth is higher up herself in the social ranks. The number of children the two women have is quite different. Jocasta has five children, Oedipus and two additional sons and two daughters. Lady Macbeth has no children. It is believed by some that she and Macbeth are either too young into their marriage to have conceived children yet or are experiencing infertility. Time period and setting are also quite different for the plays. Jocasta lives in an ancient time period, and in the land of Thebes. Lady Macbeth lives in the medieval age in Glamis. Two other differences include the femininity of the women and their names. Jocasta is very feminine, she is a mother, a Queen and wears nice clothing (as seen by the broaches on her dress that Oedipus uses on his eyes). Lady Macbeth, however, is a different story. She asks the demons of Hell to take away her woman like qualities. She asks them to replace the milk in her breasts with gall. She wants to have no feminine emotions of remorse or sadness over Duncan’s murder and wants to be powerful like a man. She, unlike Jocasta is probably the first example of a transgender human being. The names of the women differ because Jocasta is also called Iocaste in some versions of the play. Lady Macbeth’s name stays the same in all versions. It seems that Jocasta has no given last name and Lady Macbeth has no given first name. One point of likeness is that both women are the sole female characters of their plays. This is most likely to the time period and how plays were performed back then. Queen Jocasta of Oedipus Rex and Lady Macbeth of Macbeth are both alike and different. They are both shining examples of women in dramas. They are supportive of their men. Their main differences are their personalities, relationships with the male leads and deaths. All in all both plays would be drastically different and could not function without them. Strawser 29 Works Cited Sophocles. Oedipus Rex. The Norton Anthology of English Literture. Gen. ed. Stephen Greenblatt, 7th ed. Vol. D. New York: Norton 2010. Print. Shakespeare, William. Macbeth. New York: Washington Press, 2002. Strawser 30 A Comparison of Medea and Jason Timed Writing Piece Comparative World Literature Dr. Elizabeth Brown September 2012 Directions: IV ESSAY: Choose one of the questions below and write an orangized, wellsupported (with examples) and grammatically correct response. Your essay should be at least three paragraphs long. BE sure to support your answer with specific examples from the texts that we read. (10%) Prompt Choice: 5. Compare and contrast any two characters (e.g. Medea and Dido, Achilles and Hector, Gilgamesh and Odysseus, or any other two that you choose) from the assigned readings. What makes them similar or different? What do these similarities or differences reveal about them? Your discussion should reveal something interesting or important about one or both of the characters. Small Outline: Medea: feels upset over marriage, cares for children, plotter Both: interesting pasts Jason: not guilty over remarriage, cares for children, sufferer Strawser 31 Strawser 32 Strawser 33 As You Dream It Fine Arts 101 Amy Landrum Fall 2011 Characters: ï‚· JADE- A sophomore in college, struggling with an assignment. ï‚· ROOMATE- Jade’s un-named roommate who appears only at the beginning and the end of the play. ï‚· WILL- A dream-like figure of William Shakespeare who comes to Jade in a dream. The curtain rises on a present day college dorm room. The room features bunk beds, a desk (with a lamp and fish bowl on it) and a TV. The audience comes in on two girls, one sitting at the desk and the other is lounging on the bed. Act 1 Scene 1 JADE: Hey roomie! How was your day? ROOMATE: Not too bad, how about you? JADE: My day was okay, I just have a lot of work and I’m tired. ROOMATE: You’re acting kind of gloomy is anything else wrong? JADE: Well, I have this bonus assignment in one of my classes. I can write a one act play, but I have no idea what to write about. Every time I come up with something, it just sounds Strawser 34 stupid. I love reading plays and I am in that Shakespeare class right now, but even though I plan to teach Language Arts someday, I don’t know the first thing about play writing! ROOMATE: Well don’t freak out about it, you will think of something. When’s it due? JADE: Tomorrow! ROOMMATE: Oh, well you are cutting it kind of close. I’m going to head on down to the food court to give you some peace and quiet. Good luck! JADE: Thanks, bring me back a cheeseburger when you come home. ROOMMATE: No problem! But, Jade I know how drowsy you get when you do homework, so try not to go to sleep! (She leaves and shuts the dorm room door behind her). Scene 2 JADE alone in the dorm JADE: (talking aloud to self) Okay let me brainstorm a little. (Pulls out paper and pen and begins writing) Hmmm, how about a play about Valentine’s Day? No, too sappy! Hm, what about a medieval romance? (Slumps down a little in chair and yawns) No, that doesn’t feel right either. Geesh! You would think with me having to read all of these plays recently I would know what to write about! I really need those bonus points. (Yawns) I’m reading Dante’s The Inferno right now. Dante had a guided tour through Hell; I wish I could have a guided tour through play writing. Oh well (Yawns and stretches). I think I’m just going to put my head down on the desk for a minute to, um, say a prayer for guidance! Yeah that’s what I’ll do. (Slurs words a little) I’ll be ready to write in no time. (She lays her head down on her desk and begins to snore. Suddenly, fog fills the dorm room! Lights flash while Jade is still Strawser 35 sleeping and Will appears in her room. Will has a striking resemble to William Shakespeare, he is even dressed in clothes of the Elizabethan time period). WILL: (tapping Jade on the back) Excuse me, Miss? Miss? Hey, you there sleeping! JADE: (waking up slowly but then sees Will and snaps her head up with a start) Ahh! Who the heck are you? Get out of my dorm you creepy man! Why on earth do you look like William Shakespeare? Is this some kind of odd joke?(Looks around) Ha-ha roomie, very funny! I tell you about my play writing problems and you send me one of your friends dressed up like Shakespeare. Who are you anyways? Luka, her boyfriend? Jake her best friend? Stop playing around and tell me who you are? WILL: Well, Miss, my name is Will. JADE: Mhm, yeah I bet. What are you doing here, Will? WILL: Miss, a higher power informed me you were having drama issues and I was sent to offer advice. JADE: A higher power, you mean like the Dean of the College? WILL: (looking up towards Heaven quickly and then down again, Jade doesn’t seem to notice this gesture) Miss, I suppose you could say that. JADE: So you came from the performing arts center to give me advice? WILL: Miss, my performing arts center is- different from yours. But, enough questions let us begin our dramatic mission. Strawser 36 JADE: Hold up a minute odd-dressed dude! Where are we going? Why do you keep calling me miss? Ugh this is so annoying. I’m going to write a complaint letter to whoever sent youHey! Don’t touch me! (Will grabs Jade’s arm as the stage goes black. Sounds of things banging around can be heard) Scene 3: The setting has changed to an auditorium that slightly resembles the college’s art center. The stage lights come up upon a scene that appears to be from Macbeth. The scene is the dinner party when Banquo’s ghost appears. The Macbeth actors are speaking quietly, so the audience can only see but not hear the action. Jade and Will are standing stage right, watching and commenting. JADE: Where are we? And how did we get here? WILL: Well, Miss you fainted on the long walk to my performing arts area. Can you identify this performance? JADE: It’s from Macbeth. Which is all fine and well, but I have already read this play several times. In fact it is my favorite by Shakespeare (she eyes Will slyly). No offense, but how will this help me write a play? WILL: Do you know what a protagonist is? JADE: A what? WILL: A protagonist Strawser 37 JADE: Oh! Is that that acne cream they sell on TV? It’s call pro-something or the other. WILL: (sighs) No, a protagonist is the main character in the play who faces that challenges. JADE: No way! I didn’t know that! WILL: Every good play has one or more protagonists. Just look at my- er- Shakespeare’s play Macbeth. There is a clear protagonist in that play. Do you know who it is? JADE: Of course! It’s Macbeth. Duh! WILL: Great! Now Miss, any guesses as to what an antagonist it? JADE: Is it the opposite of a protagonist? Like the villain? WILL: Yes! Very good, but it is important to note that “villain” is not always a synonym of the word antagonist. Why are these two terms vital to a play? JADE: Because every literary work must have characters. Protagonists and antagonists bring the play together. Just look at Macbeth here! The play would be totally different without Macbeth and Macduff. I’m going to need an awesome protagonist and a mean antagonist from my play. WILL: Excellent! Now it is time to leave Macbeth. JADE: But, I want to stay and watch! And besides, it doesn’t look like this performing arts center is planning another production anytime soon. Hey! Will don’t grab my arm, hmm I feel kind of dizzy (Jade swoons as the stage goes black). Scene 4: Strawser 38 This scene finds the two characters at an open outdoor theater that resembles the Globe Theater. The play they have came upon this time is Romeo and Juliet. They are viewing the final scene. JADE: Excuse me? But what just happened? Did I seriously faint again? I know I pass out easily, but come on! I feel fine. Where the heck are we now? Did you take me on a field trip or something? WILL: Um, yes, a field trip, yes that’s what I did. There are a few more terms for me to discuss with you. Do you know which one of my- er- Shakespeare’s plays this is? JADE: Yeah, it’s the end of Romeo and Juliet. So what? WILL: Play writing begs the writer to consider the setting. What is a setting? JADE: How old do you think I am? Five? I knew about setting in elementary school and I sure did not forget it between then and my time now in college. WILL: Miss, if you want my help you will answer the question. JADE: Okay, fine! The setting is the time, place, and date where the action of the literary work takes place. WILL: Correct. The setting of this play is? JADE: Mantua and Verona, the time is a period of three days (mainly) and the date is the late 1500’s. Strawser 39 WILL: Right. The setting is vital to a play. It is part of the foundation of the play. I also wanted to mention two important elements to you before our lesson is completed. Do you what the difference is between an aside and a soliloquy and why they are important? JADE: An aside is line said by a character either directly to the audience or to another character. Asides cannot be heard by the others on stage. Asides are important because they let the audience in on an important fact, such as when Falstaff discusses lying about Hotspur’s death in the play Henry IV Part I. Soliloquies are long, single person speeches. They let the audience know how the person is feeling. Hamlet has one of the most famous soliloquies in all of drama. WILL: Wow, I am impressed! You have come a long way since the beginning of our journey. JADE: Hey, Will, do you think I should write a tragedy, a comedy or a romance? WILL: Follow your heart and you shall be able to produce a masterpiece. (Suddenly the stage goes black, lines from Shakespeare’s plays can be faintly heard in the distance. For example: To be or not to be. Out, out brief candle, etc) Scene 5: Jade is seen sleeping once again at her desk in her dorm room. ROOMMATE: (walks in door) Hey Jade! I brought you your cheeseburger! (Taps Jade on the back, then shakes her shoulder). JADE: (awakes with a start) Will? What did you say Will? Strawser 40 ROOMMATE: Who’s Will? A guy from one of your classes? What are you mumbling about? I leave for ten minutes and you sound crazy by the time I come back! JADE: Ten minutes? But- (looks around and then shrugs her shoulders). Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep. I had a super crazy dream. Must be my heart meds causing that again. ROOMMATE: You are one interesting person Jade. By the way did you ever figure out what to write about? JADE: You know what roomie? I actually did! (Smiles and turns to look at a poster of William Shakespeare that was not there at the beginning of the play). THE END! Strawser 41 War, Power and Change in Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games Trilogy American Literature Since The Civil War Dr. Heather Duda Spring 2012 Disturbing but memorable violence, unlikely friendships and a messy love triangle- what more could a young adult fiction novel need? According to Suzanne Collins, as proved by her The Hunger Games Trilogy, a novel needs important messages to accompany all the normal teenage angst that is portrayed in many popular literary works. Collins provides stereotypical teenage issues: love, awkward parent/child relationships, questionable fashion choices, and many more young adult conundrums. However, her characters are more concerned over where their next meal will come from and if they will die during an overhead bombing than they are with petty rumors and high school drama. Collins seems to have an internal formula she uses to effectively produce a novel that combines young adult “dilemmas” with hard hitting messages. People who have not yet read the trilogy may ask “What messages can an author actually convey in a young adult drama?” Suzanne Collins conveys three messages. She uses The Hunger Games Trilogy to illustrate the horrors of war (by way of the violence that accompanies it), to warn readers of the effects of power and to demonstrate the possibilities of change when people take a stand for what they believe in. The Hunger Games Trilogy is made up of three books. The first, simply called The Hunger Games, follows the main character Katniss Everdeen into a gladiator-type battle arena. The Hunger Games occur to remind the people of the twelve districts of dystopian Panem of their foolish rebellion against the all powerful Capitol. The first book follows Katniss as she Strawser 42 takes her sister’s place as “tribute” (Collins’ word for gladiator), fights to the death with twentythree other teenagers, and finally defeats the Capitol by pulling a stunt of defiance with her fellow tribute Peeta Mellark. The second book, Catching Fire follows Katniss as she returns to the arena in a “game” called the Quarter Quell. The book also focuses on the increasing uprisings of the unhappy districts. The third book, Mockingjay shows readers the result of the revolution and readers see Katniss face the ultimate loss (of her sister) before achieving a somewhat happy ending. All three of the books mention war and violence. The Hunger Games gets the terror ball rolling by following Katniss into the horrifying arena. In an interview with John Sellers, Collins sets the record straight about the violence in the arena “The violence is not only human on human, it's kid on kid” (1). Collins first establishes Katniss as a tough character; a character who has had a hard and troubled life. Susan Dominus, in her article for the New York Times best describes Katniss’s persona with the statement: “The trilogy's heroine, Katniss, 16 years old when the series begins, has the tough-girl angst of an S.E. Hinton teenager and is too focused on survival to spend much time on familiar Y.A. preoccupations like cliques and crushes. On the very first page, she stares at the family's pet cat, recalling, matter-of-factly, her aborted attempt to “drown him in a bucket’” (1). The development of such an intense character does one of two things. Firstly, Katniss is exhibited as a child of a county still scarred by war- her mature attitude shows the negative effects of growing up starving and scared. Secondly, her personality makes it easier for her to wage war in the arena. In the arena, the aspect of violence is so strong that it is almost a character in its own right. The readers picture terrible scenarios as they occur, such as: a “blood bath” at the beginning of the games when over half of the tributes die while fighting over weapons, a girl Strawser 43 deformed after being attacked by venomous bees, a very young character netted and speared like a fish and a pack of wild wolf-dog hybrids who chase the main characters while looking at them with eyes that clearly formerly belonged to dead tributes. The second book sees Katniss facing violence in the arena once again. The second go-around has audiences reading about fog that causes victims to become paralyzed and stroke like after contorting into uncomfortable positions, blood rain that pours on tributes and wild monkeys that attack with gnashing claws. The third book delves deeper into the horrors of war. On the battlefront, Katniss watches as members of her squadron face awful deaths such as, one man having all of the skin melting off of his body, another being ground in a meat-grinder type appliance, another being decapitated by a lizard and finally, Katniss watches the death of her sister. Her sister is a victim of a wartime firebombing and turns into a pillar of flames. Collins shows no mercy when it comes to illustrating war. She wants her readers to know war is real and not just part of a plotline in a fictional book. Collins’ career advisor tried to persuade Collins to not kill Katniss’s sister, to which Collins grimly responded, “''Oh, but it has to be,'' Collins told her. Stimola [her career advisor], paraphrasing, recalled the explanation Collins offered her over the phone: ''This is not a fairy tale; it's a war, and in war, there are tragic losses that must be mourned’” (Dominus 1). Suzanne Collins’ graphic illustration of war forces her readers to witness the terrible acts and begs them to not forget the acts, to not allow the scenes depicted to occur. The second message Suzanne Collins calls attention to in The Hunger Games Trilogy is an element that usually causes war: power. Power in the books is divided. In the first book, the Capital has all of the power over the nation of Panem. In an interview with James Blasingame, Collins stated her motives behind giving the Capital total control: “The sociopolitical overtones of The Hunger Games were very intentionally created to characterize current and past world Strawser 44 events, including the use of hunger as a weapon to control populations. Tyrannical governments have also used the techniques of geographical containment of certain populations, as well as the nearly complete elimination of the rights of the individual. In the book, the annual Hunger Games themselves are a power tool used as a reminder of who is in charge and what will happen to citizens who don’t capitulate” (Blasingame 1). When Katniss takes power in her first “game” by pulling a stunt with poisonous berries, the Capital begins to lose power as the districts decide one by one to fight back (the main focus of the second book). By the third book, the power falls to District 13 (the district believed to be decimated during the first war) and to a new leader, President Coin. However, by the end of the book it is clear that Coin’s power has gone to her head. She suggests a Hunger Games using the Capital’s children (the very thing the second war aimed to stop) and she is behind the firebombing attack that killed Katniss’s sister and multiple innocent children. Once again, Katniss finds herself gaining the power of decision. She decides to murder Coin to stop a dictatorship. Throughout the trilogy, Collins illustrates that power is all about perception. When it is given to the wrong person (or group of people), such as the Capital, it can have monstrous results (the “games). Collins adds a positive note by pointing out when power is given to the right person (Katniss), the result may be messy (a murder) but is overall for the best (no more Hunger Games and no more dictators). Suzanne Collins wants readers to chose who they want to be when power of any kind is given to them. Finally, the third message is people standing up for what they believe in. The third message ties in nicely with the other two messages. In the first book, Katniss believes she should fight the Capital. Thus, she takes her sister’s place in the arena and then outsmarts the Capital with the berry stunt. After she stands up for what she believes in, the second books shows the people in other districts standing up for what they believe in as they each stage an uprising. Strawser 45 Finally, Katniss sticks to her guns once again as she decides to kill President Coin. Collins wants to show her readers that standing up to authority may be difficult, but in the end it is the right thing to do. Suzanne Collins passes along three main messages in her The Hunger Games Trilogy: the negative effects of war, the two ways power can be interpreted and finally how standing up for beliefs usually benefits the common good. Collins does not fill her young adult books with happy, fluffy characters. Her characters face life and death choices every day. After reading the trilogy and absorbing the messages, readers can apply them to their everyday trials. Perhaps that is the true goal of Suzanne Collins’ books. Strawser 46 Works Cited Blasingame, James. "An Interview With Suzanne Collins." Journal Of Adolescent & Adult Literacy 52.8 (2009): 726-727. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 16 Apr. 2012. Collins, Suzanne. Catching Fire. New York: Scholastic, 2009. Collins, Suzanne. Mockingjay. New York: Scholastic, 2010. Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. New York: Scholastic, 2008. Dominus, Susan. "'I Write About War. For Adolescents': The Strange Fictions Of Suzanne Collins." New York Times Magazine (2011): 30-33. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 16 Apr. 2012. Sellers, John A. "A Dark Horse Breaks Out." Publishers Weekly 255.23 (2008): 19. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 16 Apr. 2012. Strawser 47 Philosophy of Education Multicultural Relations Multicultural Credo Dr. Gulati December 2012 Throughout history many philosophers, learners, and thinkers have developed their own definition of the word “education.” The definition varies from person to person. All educators and future educators should have their own personal definition of this ever important word. I am a teacher trainee, and even though I am not yet a teacher, I have already compiled a connotation of education. I believe education is instruction given from one person to another to help the receiver of the message better understand a subject. The subject may be academic or moral in nature. I also composed my definition in this way to make it clear that age does not determine who the educator is and who the learner is. In other words, teachers can receive education from the students (for example the teacher can learn different viewpoints by discussing topics with the students) and students, of course, receive education from the teacher. I believe a teacher should teach a variety of skills, not only academic, but also moral. I believe academics are vitally important, but teachers should also teach ethics in the classroom. How can they do this? Teachers can teach morality by living a morally sound life. I remember as a child I looked up to my teachers, I thought they all were honest, kind and fair. Once in high school I realized the sad truth, that this is not always the case. I plan to be a moral teacher, one Strawser 48 who makes up for the other, less appealing ones. I plan to live a lifestyle that makes my students, their parents, my family, me and most importantly, God, proud. Due to my beliefs of morality in the classroom, I believe I am an essentialist. I match many of the characteristics of the essentialist teacher. My wish for my students is that they will become valuable members of society. I want them to leave my classroom with a strong knowledge of the core concepts of my class. This mastery will help them succeed later in life. I also believe the teacher should be the boss of the classroom, not the students. Group work is fine occasionally, but since I intend to teach middle or high school, I believe the teacher as the head of the class is the best policy. After taking the required Multicultural Relations course, I have discovered that I have learned a lot. Before this class, for example, I did not know the difference between culture and race. I had no idea what Ebonics were, could not accurately define ethnicity, nor many other terms. As I read each chapter I became excited by the new knowledge I gained. What I can now do that I could not do before this class is I can appreciate diversity in its many forms. I can now recognize different cultures, be sensitive to the feelings of students who are different from me, and recognize the many signs of bullying. I have a more in depth knowledge of issues faced by Today’s student. I can now become the most caring teacher in my school building. I will turn my classroom into one that is accepting and I will encourage my coworkers to do the same. What I can teach others that I could not have taught them prior to taking this class is I can teach colleagues to make their classrooms as diverse as I plan to make mine. I plan to discuss divergent viewpoints when necessary to promote student learning. I can teach and encourage fellow teachers and people close to me to not only discover and embrace their own cultures and Strawser 49 diversities but also I can urge them to be sensitive to the cultures and diversities of others. However, trying to teach other people to be accepting will be a challenge. Many adults are stuck in their ways and unwilling to change. Despite how my calls of change will go over with adults, I plan to teach my more impressionable students about the benefits of embracing their cultures and the cultures of others. To overcome the challenges of coworkers who do not want to become culturally responsive teachers, I must be a model example for culturally responsive teachers. My classroom will be the example of how a multicultural classroom should look. I am committed to furthering my knowledge, dispositions, and skills related to multicultural diversity by participating any way I can. I plan to keep up to date on the websites we discussed in class, I plan to subscribe to newsletters and magazines the promote diversity, and I plan to attend conferences on the matter if ever I am able. Each chapter of the required course textbook was beneficial to me. Chapter one was called “Foundations of Multicultural Education.” I benefitted as a future teacher in this chapter because I was able to read and understand new terms (and better understand familiar terms). Also, I discovered that I should be thankful for the textbooks that I read growing up and that are in classrooms now. Textbooks used to only feature Caucasian children. Now, textbooks include pictures featuring students of all diversities. I will teach my future students to take pride in their reading materials. Another element I gained from this chapter is realizing which diversities I can introduce to students via literature. I became aware of the diversities by looking at the chapter listings. My students can read: The Pearl (which features Islanders), Shakespeare’s plays (which features characters from many nationalities including Italians, Romans, and Europeans), The Kite Runner (which features characters of Afghani descent). My students can also read slave Strawser 50 narratives, can read about different religions, and can read about writers of various ages, sexual orientations, and abilities. Chapter two was entitled “Ethnicity and Race.” I benefitted greatly from this chapter. I can now think of ways to help students appreciate their diversity and also encourage them to appreciate being American. Also, I can now clearly define race and ethnicity. I can now caution students about online hate crime material. What I can teach others is to respect other peoples’ races and ethnicity. I can also teach others to be aware of the history of racial diversity. Together my students and I can combat racism. Another informative chapter, chapter three was about “Class and Socioeconomic Status.” Thanks to this chapter I can now be more aware of social classes and how the classes will affect my teaching. Also, now that I know who the “people of little prestige” are I can go out of my way to show them the respect they deserve. I can also recognize that one out of five kids is living in poverty. I can teach others not to judge children on an issue as menial as whether or not children receive free or reduced lunches. The book drew my attention to the fact that many teachers judge SES based on lunch payment (or lack thereof). I can now think of ways to combat poverty; I could encourage students to host a canned food drive. It never hurts to be a proactive teacher who fights poverty and gives students, regardless of SES, equal opportunities. Chapter four focused on “Gender.” Thanks to this chapter I discovered I have firm views on gender-segregated classrooms. Also, thanks to that chapter, I now know how to treat transgender students. I can teach students not to harass each other but to accept their genders and the genders of others. Chapter five (Sexual Orientation) was helpful to me because it made me more aware of the sexual orientations that are present in the world today. As a future high school Strawser 51 teacher it is important for me to understand this diversity. Chapter six (Exceptionalities) provided me with a nice refresher on the Educating the Exceptional Learner. The chapter on Language (seven) was helpful because as an English teacher to be, I am always looking for a great definition of “language.” This textbook provided me with one. The last two chapters I read cleared up all lose ties. They discussed the youth culture which is very important to my age group of choice. Overall, while some parts of my philosophy of education stayed the same, thanks to Multicultural Relations, I believe it has changed for the better. I now yearn to be a teacher who promotes cultural diversity. I plan to be an advocate for diverse students in my classroom and in my school. I became a new teacher candidate after reading the textbook. My outlook has changed for the better and I will be the best teacher I can be because of it. Strawser 52 Works Cited Gollnick, Donna M. and Phillip C. Chinn. Multicultural Education in a Pluralistic Society. 9th International Edition. New York: PIE. 2012. Print. Strawser 53 Love, Lust, Likeness, and Lawerence: An In-depth look at D. H. Lawerence’s The Rocking Horse Winner and The Horse Dealer’s Daughter Major Authors Dr. Jack Hart May 9, 2013 D. H. Lawrence penned many literary works, but is well known for his short stories. Two of his most famous short stories are The Rocking Horse Winner and The Horse Dealer’s Daughter. Although short in length, both stories tackle large life issues. Readers notice right away that the stories have the word “horse” in common in their titles. The usage of the same word in both titles is the tip of the iceberg of similarities that these two stories possess. The stories match on three major elements, the issue of love, the issue of lust, and many other points of likeness. The only way to compare and contrast these elements is to examine them closely. The first element the stories have in common is the issue of love. As with most literature, love is featured in these stories but is presented differently in each. In Winner, the main protagonist, a young boy named Paul hopes for the love and acceptance of his mother. Lawrence quickly makes the issues of parental love known with an opening line about Paul’s mother, “She had bonny children, yet she felt they had been thrust upon her, and she could not love them…Everybody else said of her: ‘She is such a good mother. She adores her children.’ Only she herself, and her children themselves, knew it was not so.” He also mentions that Paul’s mother Hester is in a loveless marriage and feels as if she cannot love anyone. Readers immediately notice that this issue of love (or the lack thereof) will set forth one of the challenges of the story. Strawser 54 Paul tries valiantly throughout the story to gain his mother’s love and approval. Hester is materialistic and focuses only on her want for money. Paul believes he hears the house whispering “more money,” and takes it upon himself to help alleviate the situation. He begins placing bets on race horses and winning thousands of pounds. He rocks on his rocking horse to receive answers as to which horse will win the race. Once, after winning a large sum, Paul delegates a small fortune to his mother. He plans on this money being distributed evenly over the course of five years. His mother shows her greed by demanding she receives all of the money shortly after the winning. Paul keeps rocking and usually wins. However, after a large race, mentally and physically exhausted, Paul dies after earning his family a large lump sum that should keep them financially comfortable for years to come. Sadly, like John J. McKenna states in his academic article, “In spite of his gambling on horse races for large sums of money, Paul is not attempting to get money, per se. Rather, he is seeking love, his mother’s love (McDermott 6). Money is a means; love is the end. His mother, in contrast, is preoccupied with getting money and this causes her, until the very end of the story when Paul is dying, to withhold her love from her children.” In the end, Paul’s mother sits with her son while he is on his deathbed. The love comes too late though and Paul dies feeling lucky but not once does he mention feeling loved. Hester’s brother who gambled with Paul reassures her that he is better off dead because his life took an odd turn where he had to rely on a rocking horse to keep his family happy. The Horse Dealer’s Daughter deals with the issue of love as well. However, differing from the other story’s familiar love, Daughter deals with romantic love. The story opens upon a family of siblings who are dealing with hard financial times after the loss of their father. Mabel, the only girl who is remaining at the family home is an outcast among her brothers. Pushed to Strawser 55 her mental limit, Mabel attempts suicide in a nearby pond. She is saved by a friend of her brother’s Dr. Fergusson who nearly drowns saving her. Fergusson takes her in and strips her naked to “save her.” She awakens covered in blankets and confused. Mabel proceeds to seduce her male rescuer, all the while repeatedly asking him if he loves her. Fergusson is confused, even tormented by his feelings but shakily decides that he does, in fact love Mabel. He even proposes marriage. Romantic love is addressed in two ways in this short story. Firstly, Mabel feels unloved and rejected by her brothers, who constantly belittle and coddle her. For example, Mabel’s appearance is said to be muddled by her face, which her brothers dubbed bulldog like. Also Mabel feels excluded at the family table, this is evident from the line, “[One of Mabel’s brothers is talking to her] But Mabel did not take notice of him. They [her brothers] had talked at her and round her for so many years, that she hardly heard them at all” (Lawrence). D. H. Lawrence does not come out and blatantly tell readers that this is one reason Mabel attempts suicide but it is easy to assume her mistreatment from her brothers and uncertain future have caused her to attempt to end her life. Mabel is searching for a love that is accepting of who she is. Dr. Fergussion on the other hand, is struck with sudden and unpredictable love. Due to an intimate scene shared between the two characters, it is difficult to distinguish if this unpredictable love is actual, true love or lust induced love. Lust is a second element that is present in both short stories. Lust is also represented in two ways in each story. Both stories are fueled with sexuality. In Winner, the sexual content comes from the rocking horse itself and from the mother-son relationship. The rocking horse itself provides a lustful image due to the rocking. Paul rocks with frightening speeds to be able to perceive the future winning race horse. One line that is heavy in innuendo reads, “’Well, I got Strawser 56 there!’ He announced fiercely, his blue eyes still flaring, and his sturdy long legs straddling apart. ‘Where did you get to?’ asked his mother. ‘Where I wanted to go,’ he flared back at her” (Lawrence). To readers who think critically while reading, this section of the text suggests that the young boy rocks on the horse to achieve an orgasmic state (hence “getting there,” and “where he wanted to go”). It can further be assumed that if the boy is rocking to achieve an orgasmic state then he can only receive his vision of who the race winner will be. Secondly, Paul clearly has oedipal feelings towards his mother. The Oedipus complex, as per development suggested by Sigmund Freud suggests that young male children subconsciously wish but visually express a need to seduce their mothers and kill their fathers (the theory is named after the Greek tragic hero, Oedipus who, unbeknownst to him has relations with his mother and kills his father. Paul expresses a deep need to impress his mother. He is willing to do anything to make her happy, including rocking on a horse for hours on end to produce a prediction of the newest horse track star. Paul “seduces” his mother by giving her money. Even though she is clueless until the end of the story as to where it comes from, her basic need/want is fulfilled by her son. Paul does not literally kill his father but seeks to defeat him by becoming lucky. Luck is something Hester makes known that her husband does not possess. When discussing luck with her young son, Hester confides that she was lucky before marrying her unlucky husband. Paul hears this and tries to outwit or kill his father’s ego by informing his mother she need not worry because she has a lucky son. In Daughter, lust comes in one form, the form of actual, physical lust. After saving Mabel from the lake, Dr. Fergussion brings her to his house and strips her naked in order to revive her. Perhaps one of the most lustful lines of the story, the following line conveys the beginning of the drawn out intimate scene, “She shuffled forward on her knees, and put her arms Strawser 57 round him, round his legs, as he stood there, pressing her breasts against his knees and thighs, clutching him with strange convulsive certainty, pressing his thighs against her, drawing him to her face, her throat, as she looked up at him with flaring humble eyes, of transfiguration triumphant in first possession” (Lawrence). Although the love and the lust mentioned in these two stories differ, they share one common element. Hester, the object of wanted love and lust, and Dr. Fergusson, the object of achieved love and lust, do not notice their seeking counterparts as soon as the readers realize the issues. Paul expresses both love and lust early on in the story, however Hester pays him no mind and focuses her attention elsewhere until he is on his deathbed. Dr. Fergussion on the other hand, is friends with Mabel’s brother, and although he notes her presence while visiting their house, he does not fully give her his attention until she is alone with him and naked. Four other main points of likeness that are not related to love or lust also show up in The Rocking Horse Winner and The Horse Dealer’s Daughter. Firstly, as previously mentioned, a point of likeness that pops out at the readers immediately is the use of horses in the titles. Horses are in the titles and are also in the story itself. The horses in both stories serve as vessels for the acceleration of the plot line. In Winner, horses (both real and wooden) play a huge factor in the storyline. Paul feels lucky and gains his family thousands of pounds by betting on race horses. He also comes to the conclusion of which real horse will win based on the intuition he receives from the wooden rocking horse he rides. In Daughter, Mabel’s father was a horse dealer who formerly made a strong income before going under both the ground (in death) and financially (in debt). The horses cause the family to need to discuss moving out which in turn causes Mabel to attempt suicide. Horses may be able to physically transport characters where they are going and also enables the plotline to, like a rider, get where it needs to be. Strawser 58 A second point of likeness comes from the fact that both stories pose a question to the readers to answer and ponder about as they read. With Winner, the question that is posed early on in the story is, “How does one become lucky?” Young Paul seeks out his mother’s help on this question. He is quickly informed that money and luck are very closely related. He also decides to prove his worth by becoming lucky. After a meeting with his mother, the following line shows that the young child had an odd obsession with answering the main question of the story, “The boy saw that she did not believe him; or rather she paid no attention to his assertion [that he is in fact lucky].This angered him somewhere and made him want to compel her attention. He went off by himself vaguely, in a childish way, seeking for the clue to ‘luck…..’ He wanted luck, he wanted it, he wanted it.” Finally, Paul answers the question to the best of his abilities by deciding that he personally will become lucky by creating his own luck. To create his luck he proceeds to bet on race horses. Readers can’t help but ask themselves how they define how a person becomes lucky. Readers’ perceptions may vary but regardless of their personal response to this question, Lawrence tells of not only what one of opinion of how to become lucky is, but he also shows what can happen if a person places that question in the center of his or her life. Likewise, the main question in Daughter is also thought provoking. The general question is “Does Dr. Fergusson really love Mabel?” The overall question for this story may be a little more character and plot driven than with the other story, but readers may still find themselves questioning the love in their lives. Mabel asks her male counterpart “You love me?” a total of four times before he responds with the affirmative. Unlike with Winner, where the main male character quickly comes up with an answer he believes to be the correct one, Fergusson questions how he should respond for over half of the story. When he finally does reach a Strawser 59 decision, John J. McKenna sums it up best in his academic article, “The result is that in the final scene of the story, Ferguson’s emotions surge back and forth like water in a bucket carried by a running man. He resolves to propose marriage to Mabel as tides of love and pain and uncertainty wash over him.” Readers also question whether Fergusson truly loves Mabel. One minute he feels as if he does and the next he feels almost physically ill over the issue. He feels like he should get up and run away from her, but instead proposes eternal love and marriage. The third point of likeness is that unexplainable things occur in both stories. In The Rocking Horse Winner, two occurrences are unexplainable. Firstly, it is confusing as to how Paul perceives his answers regarding who will win the race. Lawerence does not come out and announce to readers how Paul perceives the winners. He merely states that Paul makes his predictions after riding on his toy rocking horse for quite some time. Secondly, Paul’s house whispers, talks, and then eventually yells at him. An example of this is found with the lines, “And so the house became haunted by the unspoken phrase: There must be more money! There must be more money! The children could hear it all the time though no one said it aloud…each one saw in the eyes of the other two that they too had heard.” The house becomes like a secondary villain to story because its yelling prompts Paul to want to both please his mother and silence the voice even more. Readers might be confused as to why Lawerence personifies the house in such a manner. Judith Stiers, in her online article about the story, sums up the motive to the best of her ability by stating, “In “The Rocking Horse Winner,” Lawrence gives the power of voice to the house. It is allowed to speak the insanity and tell all of the secrets of a diseased and dysfunctional modern family, caught in a shallow and meaningless material existence.” Based on Stier’s opinion, Lawrence’s motives are clearer. The house does act as an antagonist. It acts in such a manner that it highlights the critical flaws in the family. The phrase the house utters is Strawser 60 taken in context, by Paul, to be a set of directions. However, perhaps Lawrence intended it to serve as a warning. In The Horse Dealer’s Daughter, two events of uncertainty also occur. Unlike with the other literary work, the events seem easier to explain but are confusing nonetheless. Firstly, Mabel’s attempted suicide. It seems pretty cut and dry with regards to reasoning, she is uncertain where to go and uncertain about her future as her family is falling apart. Something is eerie about the section of the text where she attempts to drown herself. Fergusson sees her simply sink lower and lower into the lake after walking calmly into it. He races to save her, and after much struggle does so successfully. When she comes to, she questions what happened. He explains the situation to her and they both question her sanity. Be it temporary insanity, or an unseen force that drove Mabel into the water, the passage reads in a way that is thought provoking to the readers. Secondly, Ferguson’s sudden internal war about loving or not loving Mabel is an uncertain scene. John J. McKenna best describes Fergusson’s state of being with the statement, “Ferguson feels he is under some power, some spell, and for all practical purposes, he is. It is a spell of his own invocation.” Ferguson has a wild debate with himself; one minute he is almost physically ill from the thought of the murky lake water and from the thought of being in love with Mabel. The next, he is completely, madly in love with her and is proposing a future together. All the while, Mabel herself adds confusion to the situation by questioning him repeatedly then showing a range of emotions that swivels back and forth between lust and wanting and tearful uncertainty. Readers are left with two thought provoking uncertainties to think about. The final likeness is that both stories have unclear endings. The Rocking Horse Winner ends with Paul fulfilling his goal of being both lucky and as rich as his mother would like. However, he pays for his endeavors with his life. Other than from sheer mental and physical Strawser 61 exhaustion, mentally planning his gambling plans and concentration on his mother and physically rocking for hours on the wooden horse, it is not made clear why Paul dies. Symbolism is what is suggested by John J. McKenna, “By sacrificing his identity to another person and her set of values, Paul betrays his own core value, and in betraying his own core value, he dies. He dies literally and spiritually. Of course, Lawrence is making this point about England in the early Twentieth Century—that, by chasing after money, his society had lost its soul.” Readers are left to either think of a literal reason for Paul’s death, or must accept his death as a representation of some deeper meaning. In The Horse Dealer’s Daughter, it is uncertain if Ferguson and Mabel will actually marry. He proposes marriage, but readers can’t help but feel both characters’ uncertainty. The last line of the story helps to cap off readers’ uncertainty, “’No, I want you, I want you,’ was all he answered, blindly, that terrible intonation which frightened her more than her horror lest he should not want her.” Readers are left to speculate on the characters’ futures and the possible symbolism of their marriage if it is to occur. D. H. Lawrence penned many excellent literary works. However, two short stories The Rocking Horse Winner and The Horse Dealer’s Daughter are alike in many ways. It is important to compare an author’s works because the comparisons shed light onto the author’s writing style, and writing patterns. The many similarities between the two stories that come in the form of love, lust, and likeness point out that Lawrence followed many of the same patterns in his short stories. Both stories are well written and thought provoking enough to leave readers thinking about the plot lines long after they’ve finished reading. Strawser 62 Works Cited Lawrence, D. H. The Horse Dealer’s Daughter. Grand Rapids: Kessinger, LLC, 2004. Lawrence, D. H. The Rocking-Horse Winner. Grand Rapids: Kessinger, LLC, 2004. McKenna, John J. "D. H. Lawrence's Idealists: Using Temperament Theory To Explain The 'Unexplainable'." Eureka Studies In Teaching Short Fiction 8.2 (2008): 6-15. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 9 May 2013. Stiers, Judith. "The Use Of Voice In D. H. Lawrence's 'Piano' And 'The Rocking Horse Winner'." Eureka Studies In Teaching Short Fiction 8.2 (2008): 58-61. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 9 May 2013. Strawser 63 “Die, die, die, die, die”: My Rendition of the Pyramus and Thisbe Play Featured in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream Dr. Elizabeth Brown Shakespeare: From Script to Stage to Screen 26 April 2012 The majority of William Shakespeare’s plays conclude with an interesting and exciting last scene. For example, Hamlet and Macbeth end with swordfights and the deaths of the main character, Twelfth Night concludes with the revelation of true identities and two marriages, and The Taming of the Shrew ends with a surprising public address to a large audience at a banquet. Shakespeare’s drama A Midsummer Night’s Dream is not exempt from this trend. One interesting part of the ending of this play is the marriage of the three main couples: Theseus and Hippolyta, Lysander and Hermia and Demetrius and Helena. The second interesting part of the ending comes in celebration of the marriages. To fill the three hours between the marriages and bedtime, the mechanics of the play decide to perform the tragedy of Pyramus and Thisbe. Pyramus and Thisbe is a play that features two star-crossed lovers and ends with a double suicide (on an interesting note, Shakespeare was writing Romeo and Juliet at this time which happens to have a plot and ending similar to the mechanic’s play). The mechanics’ production occurs in Act 5 Scene 1 lines 130-365. Many stage and film versions of this play within a play have been performed. Each one features a different setting and a diverse way to costume the characters. Also, the setting of A Midsummer Night’s Dream affects the setting of the Pyramus and Thisbe production. One version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream might be set in the Elizabethan age, while another may be set in modern day Central Park. The mechanics’ skit can Strawser 64 take on the same setting as the whole production or can be set in a completely different setting and time period. The decisions made about the cast, setting, and time period are completely up to the director. Each director adds his or her own twist to make this ending unique. If I found myself in charge of a production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, I would make the scene intriguing and funny. Shakespeare might have added this funny scene in the first place for one of two reasons. Firstly, he may have simply been foreshadowing to the upcoming Romeo and Juliet. The skit and Romeo and Juliet hold many similarities. Perhaps Shakespeare thought that if this skit entertained audience members, then a whole play about star-crossed lovers may intrigue them. Secondly, Shakespeare might have wanted to unite the cast members without ending with an indepth marriage scene. After all of the earlier fighting, a scene that depicts happy main characters would solidify the fact that the play has a happy ending. The mechanics are added to provide extra giggles and also show that Theseus and Hippolyta may have been from the upper class (or even royalty), but they still accepted these working men into their home. The mechanics provide a skit that is so bad it is good. Shakespeare may have included this element to poke fun at other, less successful playwrights. Regardless of the reasoning behind the scene, it is important to any production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The first item of business I would take care of while planning my version of the all important Pyramus and Thisbe would be the setting of the mechanics’ skit. The setting sets the stage for the circumstances of the little performance. I could choose to set my scene at a high school during the 1980’s or set it at a brothel in the 1920’s. Each setting has its own set of pros and cons. I would decide to set my production of this scene in the Elizabethan age in a castle. I chose this setting for three main reasons. Firstly, I think it fits the play the best. Pyramus and Strawser 65 Thisbe is meant to be performed by unprofessional acting actors and also, an Elizabethan setting limits the number of other activities three newly married couples could be partaking in before bed. Secondly, I view Theseus and Hippolyta as royalty of sorts and in Elizabethan times, royals were often entertained by visiting play performers. Thirdly, I enjoy the elaborate costumes that accompany this time setting. The full gowns, tunics, and hairstyles all intrigue me. Before there can be costumes however, there must be a cast. To make any play believable, the cast must focus on every detail of the characters. Directors have many choices to make when casting a play. I would focus on ability to act, height, hair color, gender, age, and clarity of voice. The characters in this scene include: Theseus, Hippolyta, Lysander, Hermia, Demetrius, Helena, Nick Bottom, Quince, Flute, Snout, Starveling, Snug and Philostrate. Even if he does not have any lines and may be combined into Philostrate’s character, Hermia’s father Egeus would be there and therefore must be included. Of course, in high school and community theater casting, directors cannot be too picky about appearances since they must chose from whoever tries out. However, the following discusses how I would cast my ideal version of this scene if I was to take the role of a Hollywood director (one with unlimited funds and unlimited amounts of actors/actresses coming to tryout). The first character I would cast for this scene would be Theseus. I imagine Theseus, a duke, as a royal, regal man. I would want the actor to be about thirty-five years old because I would like him to be older than the lovers, but not a fifty year old man. Ideally he would be over six feet tall. I chose this height because I picture a grand man who is strong in stature and personality. My actor would be a brunette. Blonde hair promotes fair complexion and I want this actor to look robust and strong. He would also need a deep, booming voice to promote manly qualities. Theseus conquered the Amazonian women and thus should look like a warrior not a Strawser 66 weakling. As far as a costume goes, I would want him in a dark purple and royal blue tunic. Purple symbolizes royalty and blue can symbolize cheerfulness. Theseus would be cheerful because of his recent marriage. He would also wear royal blue tights. I would not put a hat on him, but rather a small crown, a round one that rises only an inch off of his hairline. The crown would be inlaid with jewels. Theseus is a spectator during this performance, and in my version of the play, I would have him sitting on a throne-like chair beside Hippolyta. The clothing and chair would work together to give him a wise, upper-class air. Hippolyta is the second character I would cast. I would want Hippolyta to be portrayed as royalty as well to match Theseus. I would want an actress slightly younger than Theseus, perhaps about age thirty. She needs to be older than Hermia and Helena, but not a woman with graying hair. Her height would be, ideally, about five feet nine inches. I chose this height because she was an Amazonian woman before being defeated by her future husband and Amazonian women are generally portrayed as being tall. However, I prefer men to be taller than their female counterparts, thus I do not want her height to exceed Theseus’ height. Her hair color would preferably be dark brown and she would be dark complected to give her a slightly exotic look. Her background is different than that of the other women of the play and unlike their complexions of creamy white; she needs a dark complexion to stand out. Since she recently faced a physical battle, I would like her character to be muscular. Costume wise, I would like her clothing to be complimentary to Theseus’. Color coordinating clothes will allow the audience to easily distinguish them as a couple while they are on stage. I would want Hippolyta to be in a royal blue velvet dress with a high collar that fans out behind her neck. The sleeves should be puffy in the shoulders and go all the way down to her hands. The split in the skirt would feature dark purple material. Her hair style would be pinned half up and half down and accented with a Strawser 67 small tiara that matches her husband’s. She would also sit next to him on a throne that matches the one he is sitting on. Lysander would be the third person I would cast for this scene. I would cast a man who is about twenty-two years old. I chose this age because I believe the lovers should be younger than Theseus and Hippolyta. Also, a younger person would be more likely to run off to get married. His age would make him seem a bit naïve about life, which is perfect for a young lover. Heightwise I would put him at about five feet eleven inches. He is not a warrior, thus I would not want him being taller than Theseus, but he does face off Demetrius so I would not like a puny actor. I would want this actor to have blonde hair to match Hermia’s. The likeness in hair color will help audience members pick out the couple easily. His clothing would be a tunic and tights, as per usual dress of the time period. The main color of his tunic would be red because this color symbolizes love. His tights would be black to symbolize that he is mourning that he cannot wed Hermia at the beginning of the play. Lysander is deeply in love with Hermia, thus it is a fitting color. I would have him sit on a plain wooden chair to the left-hand side of Theseus. Hermia is the fourth character I would cast. Ideally she would be young as well, about twenty years old. This would put her at prime marrying age- not too young (fourteen or fifteen) and not too old (old maid status- forty). Height-wise, I would want an actress that is about five feet tall. This small stature is important because of the name calling scene between her and Helena. She would have blonde hair to match Lysander. Her hair would be pulled up in a loose bun because then it would out of the way during the earlier scenes in the play when the actresses argue. Her costume would be a dress that looks similar to Hippolyta’s but it would be red in color to match Lysander. The spilt in her skirt would be filled in with black material to Strawser 68 symbolize the mourning she felt when her father tried to prevent her from marrying Lysander. She would be sitting on the other side of Lysander while viewing the play. Demetrius is the next character I would cast. I would want him to be about twenty-one years old and similar in height and build to Lysander. The reason for these traits is that these men are usually portrayed as being close in appearance. However, I would like him to have brown hair to match Helena. Demetrius’ costume throughout the play would be a green tunic and black tights. The green tunic represents the envy he has for the love between Lysander and Hermia at the beginning of the play. The black tights would represent mourning because he is upset that he cannot be with Hermia when the play begins. He would be sitting on the right-hand side of Theseus in this scene. As with Lysander and Hermia he would not be sitting on a fancy chair. Helena, the next character, would be close to Hermia’s age (about twenty) because it is stated in the play that they have grown up together like sisters. Her height would be about five feet five inches. This is a great height because it would put her taller than Hermia (for when the jokes are made about Hermia’s stature), but shorter than Demetrius. Her hair color would be dark brown to match Demetrius and her hair style would be the same as Hermia’s. Her dress would be identical to Hermia’s in all aspects except color. To complement Demetrius, she would don a green dress with black material in the spilt. The green represents the envy she has towards Hermia at the beginning of the play, and the black represents the sadness she feels (also at the beginning of the play) over not being about to persuade Demetrius to return her love. She would sit on the other side of Demetrius during this scene. Peter Quince is the first mechanic I would cast. I would want him to be portrayed by an actor who is in his early to mid fifties. His height should be about five feet nine inches because Strawser 69 his character does not need to be overly tall or overly short. His hair color would ideally be brown and he should wear small, round glasses. This character needs a strong voice because he plays the part of the prologue during the Pyramus and Thisbe play. His costume would be one that shows he is not an upper-class man. He would wear baggy black pants and a grey vest. His attitude should be slightly impatient and frazzled. Nick Bottom (although he is usually simply referred to as Bottom) is the second mechanic I would cast for this scene. Bottom should be about twenty-eight years old. He should be a little on the short side, possibly about five feet five inches because Flute’s character should tower above him for comedic effect. I also picture him being a brunette. His voice should be loud but one that can easily make the sounds of a donkey. His costume for this play would be a toga because this Pyramus and Thisbe, although the time period is Elizabethan, this play within a play is set in Greece. The audience members are dressed in Elizabethan clothes. Bottom’s toga would be white and flowing (resembling Caesar) and he would wear a half ring of leaves as a headpiece. I would want the headpiece to stick up slightly behind his ears. The reason for this positioning is that I would not want the audience to forget that a few scenes previous he was wearing an ass’s head complete with large ears. The final element to complete Bottom’s look is a sword prop. I would buy a realistic looking fake sword because even though the prop is needed, a fake stand-in would prevent accidents. The sword is crucial in later in the skit. Francis Flute would be the next mechanic I would cast. His character should be about the same age as Bottom. He should be tall, about six feet. The tallness is for comedic purposes. He should have a longish face to promote a facial look that is more feminine than masculine. However, his face should be covered in light stubble because he protests earlier in the play that he cannot play a girl due to his beard. His hair color is irrelevant in this scene because his natural Strawser 70 hair is covered up by a wig. The wig should be long and blonde. It should be braided into pigtails that fall to his waist. He should posses feminine mannerisms if at all possible (such as standing with one hand on his hip, screaming in a high pitch voice with his hands up in the air in shock and running away in a “jazz hands” fashion –hands fluttering behind while prancing away). His voice should be naturally higher than most men. For this scene his voice should be comically soprano and squeaky. His voice should creak occasionally. His costume should be a flowing light blue toga with a detachable cape. The light blue will add a feminine touch. The neckline of the toga should be a v-neck and the chest area should be stuffed with padding. The padding should be lopsided, with one side higher than the other. Starveling is the third mechanic I would cast. He should be about thirty years old. He should be about five feet, eight inches in height. This height is important because he will be up on a small ladder to play moonshine and should not appear to be bumping his head off of the ceiling. His hair color should be black to represent the night sky. His costume would be similar to Quince’s but the colors should be all black. He should have a thick crescent moon painted in silver on his face. He should also have a lantern positioned next to him on the ladder. He should be holding a small piece of shrubbery to represent the thorn bush and should also be holding onto the leash of a small to medium size dog. The dog should be light in color so that it can be easily seen amongst Starveling’s dark clothing. Snout is the fourth mechanic I would cast. To add some variety to the mechanics, I would cast an actor who is around forty years old. His height should be close to six feet because he is playing the part of a large wall. His hair color should be a graying brown to match the wall costume. His costume would be a large fabric square that has one hole at the top for his head, one hole at the bottom for his feet and one on each side for his arms. It is essential for me to Strawser 71 remember that his hands and arms have to be free enough to form the “chink” in the wall. The fabric should be grey with black squares painted on it to look like stones. His face should be painted grey with the same black squares to give him a head to toe stone look. Snug is the final mechanic I would cast. His age should be about twenty four and he should have a sweet disposition. He should express looks of worry regarding not roaring too loudly and scaring the female audience members. He is cautious not to scare the women because he fears punishment if he frightens the ladies. He should be about five feet seven inches. This height should make it easy for him to crawl around on the ground. His voice should be normal tone when speaking, but loud and ferocious when he roars. His hair color should be auburn to match his lion character in this scene. His costume should be a full golden colored body suit. His feet and hands should be painted gold to resemble paws. He should have black colored fingernails and toenails to represent claws. He should be wearing a lion’s head mask and it should have a red, brown and yellow yarn mane. The final two characters I would cast would be Philostrate and Hermia’s father Egeus. Philostrate should be about the same age as Theseus. He should be about five feet, nine inches tall with blonde hair. He should wear pastel colored clothes because he had planned the whole post-marriage skit and light, happy colors would promote hope that the play will go well. Egeus should be about fifty years old because he is a father of an adult daughter. He should have graying hair and his height is not important. He should be dressed in a red shirt and black pants for two reasons. Firstly, the red and black would clearly give a visual cue that he is connected to Hermia. Secondly, the red and black signify evil and in some viewers’ minds he was villainous at the beginning of the play by not letting the two young lovers marry. Strawser 72 After choosing a cast and decorating costumes, I would stage the scene. The three couples should be stage left, toward the back, sitting in a row of chairs. It needs to be clear to the audience that even though these cast members are watching this play, they are still involved through actions and lines. Extras dressed in Elizabethan leggings and gowns of various colors should be scattered around the edges of the stage. A sign positioned in the middle of the stage on an easel should read “Ninus’ tomb.” When this part of the scene starts, Quince should be center and he should be ready to give the second part of the prologue. As he mentions each character in the prologue they should enter stage right, pause, move to center stage beside Quince, pause and end the route by exiting stage left. The prologue should be delivered slowly. Quince should move to the far right of the stage and should be standing behind a podium. He should be looking over a copy of the script and the remaining mechanics should stand jumbled behind him, barely in the view of the audience, to wait for their next scenes. The next two lines belong to Theseus and Demetrius. When speaking, each actor should speak in a stage whisper. The stage whisper should be loud enough for the audience to hear but should not be of normal speaking voice volume. Theseus should look at Demetrius while giving his line and Demetrius should look and lean towards Theseus when he gives the response. After this exchange Snout should enter stage right and waddle (due to his large costume and for comedic purposes) to the center. Snout should appear to be visibly shaking from nerves. He should stumble over his beginning lines at look nervously back at Quince. Quince should be appear frustrated and impatient and should yell the lines back to Snout. When Snout says the word “chink” he should make a V-shape with his fingers and show the audience. Theseus and Demetrius should act Strawser 73 similarly to how they acted the first time they interrupted when they interrupt this second time after Snout’s lines. Bottom should enter on cue stage right. He should not walk out to the center, but rather strut out to the center stage. He should be overly confident and overly dramatic while giving his lines. When he mentions the Wall during his lines, he should first run up to the fabric part of the Wall costume and caress it. Then he should grab Snout’s hand to look repeatedly out of the “chink.” At the end of this line when Theseus says “The wall, methinks, being sensible should curse again” (5.1.182), Bottom should break character and turn around slightly to offer the rebuttle. After the explanation Bottom offers, Flute should enter stage right. He should trip slightly over his dress at first but then proceed to prance slowly to the center while clasping his hands together under the padding on his chest. His lines and the actions that accompany them should be performed as follows: O wall, [clasps wall on side opposite Bottom] full often hast thou heard my moans [pauses to give a small moan] for parting my fair Pyramus and me [points to Bottom]. My cherry lips [touches lips] have often kissed thy stones [kisses material of wall], Thy stones with lime and hair knit up in thee. (5.1.186-192) Bottom should next cup his ear to act as if he hears Flute and then should look through the chink. Flute should deliver his next line while looking at Bottom’s eye through the chink. They should stay in this position, delivering lines until the line “Oh, kiss me through the hole of this vile wall” (5.1.200). Immediately after this line they should both lean into the chink and Strawser 74 make loud, obnoxious kissy noises. However, Flute’s mouth should be touching the side of Snout’s hand to imply a “miss.” After the next two lines, Bottom and Flute should exit stage left. Next, Starveling and Snug should enter stage left and move to center stage. Starveling should be holding onto a ladder, lantern, thorn bush and a dog on a leash (needless to say his arms will be full). He should then set the ladder up, climb it and place the lantern by his foot. He should keep hold of the bush and dog. Snug should crawl in on all fours to represent the lion. When he gives his speech about the lion being imaginary, he should rise up to two feet, speak and then crouch back down. The couples who are interrupting after this should simply look at whoever is speaking. Every time Starveling tries to start his line, the on-stage audience member who is supposed to interrupt should do so quickly and loudly. Starveling should sigh and start to become frustrated each time he is interrupted until he finally can finish his line. After finishing this line he should smile in relief. Flute should next enter stage right and the concluding parts of the play should go as follows: Flute: [Looking around] This is old Ninny’s tomb. Where is my love? Snug: [runs up to Flute]: ROAR! Flute: [clearly shocked] Oh! Demetrius: [clapping hands together] Well roared, Lion. Flute should then drop his cape and run offstage (stage left) while screaming. While the couples deliver their interrupting lines, Snug should pick up the cape, shake it back and forth in his mouth, and then throw it down. As he is shaking it in his mouth, he should deposit blood onto Strawser 75 it by way of a chewable blood capsule. Pyramus’ death scene should be over the top dramatic. Bottom should enter stage right, run over to the cape and cradle it in his arms. He should put a distressed hand to his head while speaking about Thisbe and should pause occasionally to hug the cape. He should ignore the couples when they start to commentate. He should then pull out his sword and show it to the audience. He should stab himself under the arm to mimic a chest stabbing. He should then spin around in a circle twice before falling to the ground. Starveling should exit on the line “Moon, take thy flight.” Then Bottom should rise up slightly. After each time he says “die” he should slide up and down on the sword. After the last “die” he should lie down finally and sigh. Bottom should remain still as the couples chat while waiting for Flute to enter. His dying lines and actions should be presented in the following manner: Flute: [Goes to Bottom and sits beside him on the ground] Asleep, my love? [Flute frantically pokes Bottom and searches for a pulse on his neck] What, dead my dove? [He cradles Bottom in his lap] O Pyramus, arise! [Holds Bottom’s arms up, they fall down, limp] Speak, speak. Quite dumb? [Touches Bottom’s jaw] Must cover thy sweet eyes [Touches Bottom’s eyelids] [Then touches Bottom’s lips, nose and cheeks in that order to deliver the next lines] These lily lips, This cherry nose, Strawser 76 These yellow cowslip cheeks, Are gone, are gone! [Wipes tears from his face] [Shouting] Lovers, make moan [moans]. [Hangs head downward] His eyes were green as leeks [Looks up to the sky and calls out] O Sisters Three, [Motions to self] Come, come to me, With hands pale as milk, Lay them in gore, Since you have shore [makes cutting motion] With shears his thread of silk. [Points to own mouth] Tongue, not a word. Come, trusty sword [tries to find spare sword, cannot find it, Bottom rises up, gives it to him and then lays back down in a thud] Come, blade, my breast imbrue [stabs padding on chest then falls over on top of Bottom] (5.1. 321-341) The scene ends with ending comments from the on-stage audience. Bottom offers an epilogue enthusiastically, but Theseus turns it down. Theseus says the last line of the scene. The mechanics dance off stage and the couples follow them off. Each couple is holding hands, lovingly. Strawser 77 My choices for this scene would affect the play as a whole in three ways. Firstly, my setting of the Pyramus and Thisbe scene (Greece) takes audiences, albeit briefly, to a new place filled with new costumes. Secondly, my color coordination would affect the characters by adding to their personalities. An actress can make her character seem upset over an issue (for example, not being able to marry her true love) but by putting her in clothes that feature the color black, the audience connects her issues with her appearance. The fact that the characters are wearing the same outfits as earlier in the play adds to the consistency of the characters’ personalities. Thirdly, my dramatic, over-the-top, comedic approach reflects one of Shakespeare’s possible intents: poking fun about other playwrights’ works. Keeping the original writer’s message –even all of these years after the original copy was released is important and should be taken into consideration. Every Shakespearian drama concludes in an interesting, unique way. No two plays end exactly the same way. A Midsummer Night’s Dream is not an exception to this interesting ending rule. The Pyramus and Thisbe play makes the ending of this play unforgettable. Each director can stage this final scene to suit his or her preference. I prefer elaborate costumes, an Elizabethan setting and a silly but dramatic performance. My rendition of the play would be appealing to the audience and make me proud to be a director. Strawser 78 Works Cited Shakespeare, William. A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The Necessary Shakespeare. Ed. David Bevington. New York: Pearson Longman, 2009. 70-72. Print. Strawser 79 Wow What a Woman! Signy of the Volsunga Saga Literary Periods: Medieval Dr. Jack Hart 30 April 2012 Literature and mythology alike are overflowing with powerful and memorable female characters. Throughout the years, readers have enjoyed strong female characters such as Jane from Jane Eyre, Alice (also known as The Wife of Bath) from The Canterbury Tales, and even more recently, Katniss from The Hunger Games Trilogy. However, one female character should never be forgotten. That character is Signy of the Norse Volsunga Saga. Signy is a standout character for multiple reasons. Even though, as Robert A. Albano shares in his web document, “The modern reader might view Signy as cold-blooded, cunning, and, perhaps, evil. She commits several atrocious acts,” (3) Signy can also be viewed in a positive light. Readers can form their own positive or negative opinions about Signy but one element is certain: she is a lady who readers will not be able to easily erase from their memories. The first element about Signy that makes her a powerful and memorable female character is her name and genealogy. Right off the bat, her name is unique enough that it is likely readers have never heard of it before. Said to have the meaning of “new victory,” the meaning foreshadows from her birth that the tiny baby will grow into a successful woman. Her genealogy makes her memorable because she comes from a line of interesting people. Her great-grandfather Rerir and his queen had trouble conceiving an heir. In a finally act of desperation, the couple prayed to the fertility goddess Fraya in hopes of receiving assistance. Fraya heard their pleas and consulted with the god Odin. The two sent a magic apple to be consumed by the couple. The Strawser 80 magic worked and soon the queen grew big with child. However, with the onslaught of war, the queen’s pregnancy lasted well over nine months. In fact, the gestation period lasted approximately six years. After the war caused death of the king, the queen became sick and knew her death was near. Since the baby would not budge, the queen ordered for it to be cut out immediately. The “baby” was almost fully grown and gave his mother a kiss and received his name before her death. He was given the name Volsung. Volsung married Hljod and together they produced eleven children, ten boys and one girl. The girl was accompanied in birth by a twin brother. The twins were given the names of Sigmund and Signy (Saga, 35-37). Signy once again stands out because she is the only girl amongst almost a dozen boys. Plus, if having a grandfather who was in the womb for six years is not memorable, then nothing is. It is clear to readers that Signy is descended from s long line of powerful men, and naturally readers expect that the power has spilled over onto Signy. Readers do not find themselves disappointed. The second element that makes Signy of the Volsunga Sage a powerful and memorable female character is her loyalty and fierce compassion for her father and brother. Signy is forced (by her father) to marry a man named Siggeir. Siggeir later kills Volsung. The death does not go over well with the twins, to say the least. Scott A Mellor sums up the course of the action the twins take the best by stating, “Once social imperative in the Icelandic society, vendetta was seen as a moral imperative. When Volsung is killed by Siggeir, Sigmund spends some twenty years plotting revenge for his father’s death. Signy, Volsung’s daughter, also plots revenge with her brother” (417). Signy could not save her father, but she is compassionate enough to save her brother. One night, Signy discovers that her husband had chained all ten of her brothers to the stocks out in an open field. Sadly, a she-wolf made her way from brother to brother, brutally killing nine brothers total. To prevent the death toll from rising to ten and to prevent her twin Strawser 81 from dying, Signy covers his face and mouth with honey. The she-wolf is attracted to the honey. She licks Sigmund’s mouth and things go exactly as Signy had planned. The actual saga text describes the episode in the passage: “He did not lose his composure and bit into the wolf’s tongue. She jerked and pulled back hard… but Sigmund held on so tightly that the wolf’s tongue was torn out by the roots, and that was her death. And some men say that the she-wolf was Siggeir’s mother, who had assumed the shape through witchcraft and sorcery” (Saga, 41-42). Signy takes her injured brother to a cave in hopes of his recuperation. It is not noted in the Volsunga Saga that neither the brother nor the father saved Signy’s life. Despite the lack of returned reward, Signy saves her brother and seeks revenge for her father. Although Signy expresses compassion for her brother and father, the same does not ring true for her own children. The abuse and later death orders she directs towards her sons (by Siggeir) is the third element that makes Signy a powerful and memorable literary character. The motive that runs Signy’s whole life is the goal of seeking revenge for her father’s death. While Sigmund was recovering in the cave, Signy bore two sons to Siggeir. Signy sent her first son (at age eleven) to visit her brother in the cave. She was trying to institute her son as a suitable sidekick to Sigmund. She had hopes that her eldest son was strong enough to aid his uncle in revenge. Signy had been testing the boy’s pain tolerance at home before sending him to the cave. Unknowing readers may ask, how did she test the young boy’s pain threshold? She took a sewing needle and bound his wrist skin to the cloth of his shirt. The pain of the needle alone must not have been enough because she then ripped the shirt off her son via over his head. The boy sobbed in response. Thus, Signy already had her doubts about the boy’s competency. Strawser 82 Regardless, she (along with her twin) concocted a plan to test the young boy. Sigmund told the boy to make bread for their consumption while he went to collect firewood. Upon coming back to the cave, Sigmund questioned the boy on the pastry production. The nephew replied that he did not touch the flour bag because something was alive inside it. Sigmund concluded that the boy was not fit for a place by his side. He took the boy back to his mother. A direct passage from the Volsunga Saga itself best describes what happened next, “When brother and sister next met, Sigmund said that he thought himself no closer to having a companion, even though the boy was there with him. Signy answered: ‘Then take the boy and kill him. He need not live any longer.’ And so he did” (Saga, 42). The following winter, Signy sent her next son to follow the same fate as his brother. She had already tested him at home by once again sewing her son’s skin into cloth then ripping it off. The boy had responded in a whimper, like his brother. Next, she sent him to the cave and he faced (and failed) the bread making challenge. Sigmund reported the failure and once again she ordered his death. She later ordered the deaths of her two youngest sons due to their threat to snitch on her plan for revenge. Shocked readers may ask, why did Signy order the death of not one, but four sons? Robert A. Albano offers a reason in his web document, “these actions indicate that no limits can be established when it comes to the duty of accomplishing revenge. Revenge is imperative, and personal feelings are set aside in order to accomplish that vengeance” (5). In other words, Signy viewed her children as mere barriers in her plot for revenge. She did not view them as her own flesh and blood. The awful acts prompt some readers to believe that Signy is “definitely cold, cruel, and calculating. One may even be tempted to label her as evil” (Albano, 9). Signy may very well be one of the most ruthless mothers in literature and mythology. However, her actions exhibit her power and make her even more memorable. Strawser 83 A fourth plot element that makes Signy from the Norse tradition Volsunga Saga a powerful and memorable literary/mythological character is her incestial relationship with her twin brother. Signy found herself frustrated and desperate after her failed attempts to produce a sidekick for her brother. Thus, she decided to take the matter of conception into her own hands. She sought out a witch as the first part of her task. Next, she petitioned the witch to help her trick her twin brother. The witch agreed and the two switched forms. The witch went to lay with Siggeir for three nights, while Signy laid with her brother for the same amount of time. She soon found out she was expecting a new addition to the family and later birthed a son she called Sinfjotli. Sigmund was not aware that his knew nephew was also his newborn son. Why would Signy commit such a heinous act? Scott A Mellor offers an answer in his website document, “Finally, she sleeps with her own brother thus violating another taboo so as to create an offspring able to avenge her father, Sinfjotli. She feels only a full Volsung, one with Volsung blood from both parents, will feel the yearning to revenge his grandfather” (425). Bloodline purity was not only important but also valued greatly in medieval times. It is a common occurrence in medieval literature. However, unknowing readers may ask, did Signy’s plan of action work in her favor? The plan of action only somewhat worked in her favor, but that is another element that makes Signy a powerful and memorable literary/mythological character. Once Sinfjotli reaches the pivotal age of not quite ten years old (she challenges him two years earlier than his deceased half brothers, perhaps to hurry the revenge process along or simply because she has more faith in him), Signy sets him up with the same tests as his older half brothers. However, she notices a distinct difference. Sinfjotli barely bats an eye when she rips his sewn skin off with his shirt. When she sends him to his uncle/father, Sigmund is shocked to find a loaf of warm bread waiting on him when he comes back with the firewood. Sigmund questions Sinfjotli; asking him if he Strawser 84 sensed any movement in the sack of flour. The boy replies that he simply baked whatever was moving right into the dough. Sigmund quickly tells him not to eat the bread because readers finally find out what was in the bag of flour: the most poisonous snake in all the land. Both Sigmund and Signy are shocked and delighted over the brave boy. After the boy proves his worthiness, the plan to kill Siggeir goes into motion. Sinfjotli eagerly accepts the offer to aid in the demise of his supposed father. According to Mellor, the enthusiasm of the young boy appalled both the boy and his uncle, “Sinfjotli does not know that he is Sigmund’s son, yet he feels the urge to avenge Volsung all the same, which might suggest a belief in an almost inherited need to avenge the slain ancestor. To Sigmund, Sinfjotli seems all too eager to kill Siggeir, his apparent father” (435). Sigmund and Sinfjotli enter Siggeir’s castle. While waiting on Signy to find them, Signy and Siggeir’s two youngest sons alert their father of the men’s arrival. Signy commands that her twin slay the two little snitches. He refuses, but the children’s older half brother does not. He eagerly kills them right in front of their father (he apparently inherited his mother’s ruthlessness). Enraged, Siggeir jails his brother-in-law and “son,” and begins to think of how best to kill them. However, during the night when Siggeir was distracted with his own revenge plot, Signy helps the men escape. The men run to the castle and set it ablaze. Signy’s reaction to the fire has confused generations of readers. Her reaction is another element that makes her unique. Mellor best describes Signy’s shocking final decision with a passage from his web document that says, “At the end of the action Signy feels that she has gone too far against social customs and feels some remorse for having caused her sons’ and husband’s death. When Sigmund sets the house ablaze with all the inhabitants inside, Signy chooses not to come out, despite Sigmund’s pleas, but rather to be Strawser 85 burned with her husband in a final act of suttee” (435). In literature, and also in real life, remorse and regret often comes too late. Signy did not feel guilty about seeking revenge until after the deed was completed. Five people, including four innocent children (her own children) had to die before she felt the least bit sorry. However, some readers may agree with Robert A Albano when he states that “Signy, however, is not a symbol of evil” (8). Despite the way readers feel about Signy, it is clear that she has made an impression on writers who have created other female characters. The final element that makes Signy a powerful and memorable literary and mythological is that she is still inspiring other female character’s personalities and actions. One character that she inspired was Gundren. Gundren is another Norse mythology figure and she seeks revenge much like Signy. However, instead of wanting to avenge her father, Gundren seeks to take revenge upon him. She takes revenge by mutilating and cooking her own children. She is another classically bad mother who seeks revenge and exhibits power. Skadi is a character who seeks revenge similar to Signy but instead of killing her children, she asks for compensation for her hardships. Some critics believe that Grendel’s mother is a direct inspiration from Signy. Grendel’s mother has a fierce affection for Grendel, much as Signy shows for Sinfjotli. Both mothers are protective of and try to save their sons’ lives. More recently, Signy can be viewed as having a direct impact on the character Queen Cersei of the wildly popular A Song of Fire and Ice series (written by George R.R. Martin). Cersei is a powerful woman who is married to the dense King of the Iron Throne (Robert Baratheon). In order to keep her Lannister bloodline pure, Cersei has an incestial relationship with her twin brother. Together they produce three pureblood children. Cersei cares as much for her Lannister children as Signy does for Sinfjotli. Fans of Signy will find these other literary character interesting and memorable. Strawser 86 Signy of the Volsunga Saga is a powerful and memorable literary and mythological character. She sets a goal and does not stop until she reaches it, no matter what the cost. She has an interesting name and genealogy, willing kills four of her five children, commits incest with her brother and feels remorse over it all in the end. Some readers may consider Signy as an evil woman, even going so far as titling her a “bad girl in literature.” However, readers can find inspiration from her determined personality. Signy is one Norse character that will remain timeless. Strawser 87 Works Cited Albano, Robert A. "The Role Of Women In Anglo-Saxon Culture: Hildeburh In Beowulf And A Curious Counterpart In The Volsunga Saga." English Language Notes 32.1 (1994): 1-10. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 29 Apr. 2012. Mellor, Scott A. "Multiform And Life Cycle: An Armenian And A Scandinavian Narrative." Scandinavian Studies 73.3 (2001): 417-436. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 29 Apr. 2012. “The Volsung Saga.” Trans. Jesse L. Byock. Penguin: New York. 1990. 35-47. Print. Strawser 88 Of Walkers and Women: Unruly Women Cannot Topple Patriarchy Even In The Zombie Apocalypse Selected Topics: Unruly Women in Literature Dr Elizabeth Brown 29 November 2013 “How many hours are in a day when you don’t spend half of them watching television? When is the last time any of us REALLY worked to get something that we wanted? How long has it been since any of us really NEEDED something that we WANTED? The world we knew is gone. The world of commerce and frivolous necessity has been replaced by a world of survival and responsibility. An epidemic of apocalyptic proportions has swept the globe causing the dead to rise and feed on the living. In a matter of months society has crumbled—no government, no grocery stores, no mail delivery, no cable TV. In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to finally start living.” --Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead (back cover) This is the description of the fictional post-apocalyptic world that makes up Robert Kirkman’s setting for his graphic novels The Walking Dead. These comic books, along with a television show version which airs on AMC, focuses on a society where societal rules and norms have vanished. This sentiment is made clear by Kirkman’s description. Readers and viewers alike may question, “Who rules society at a time when all of society has collapsed?” The answer, according to Kirkman is men. Many would assume that when the end of the world occurs societal norms such as patriarchal rule would be disregarded. Women who try to overcome the patriarchy by learning self defense, or by trying to be a leader, or by being a woman with Strawser 89 thoughts and feelings are considered unruly. Readers and viewers would assume that this type of women would be beneficial. However, in both the graphic novels and the television show, it is apparent that no matter how unruly the women are they never overcome patriarchal rule. Both men and women suffered the same fate in Kirkman’s zombie apocalypse. Due to the main character, Rick Grimes, being in a coma when the apocalypse occurs, readers and viewers alike are unsure of when and where the virus started. All that is known is that it started slowly and began to spread rapidly. The virus is like meningitis and is obtained when a person receives a bite from a Walker (the term used for zombies). If the bite itself does not kill the person (which it often does if received in a major arterial area) and the area where the bite was sustained cannot be amputated successfully, then the person will begin showing symptoms (respiratory distress, high fever, weakness, stiff muscles, and at times delirious attitudes) before succumbing to the disease. Once dead the person will reanimate after an unspecified amount of time and will becoming a vengeful Walker. Walkers can only be stopped via a head wound. In an interesting twist, if a character dies of natural causes or of other types of wound (such as a gunshot) then that person will also reanimate. The virus lives inside of all of the people in the apocalypse hence the title “The Walking Dead.” Although both genders were affected, it seems that mostly men survived the apocalypse. In the graphic novel series, which is currently on issue one hundred and two, there are fifty-seven men who are either main or supporting characters. In comparison the graphic novel features only twenty-nine females who are either main or supporting characters (this number includes a female tiger. One character is also currently pregnant so assuming the baby lives, odds are it will be a male). In the television show, which is lagging several plot lines behind the comics, features twenty-eight men and eighteen women. As far as the Walkers go, the comic book features a Strawser 90 surplus of male undead while the television show does well with including both male and female undead in an equal ratio (although on an interesting note, if a small horde is shown—such as Walkers in a pit—they will always be all male while women Walkers are normally seen walking alone or as a part of a massive herd.). The large statistics of the male to female ratio of Walkers is enough to indicate the probably of a patriarchal rule; that rule is confirmed through Kirkman’s male dominated plot lines. The ultimate main protagonist is a male leader named Rick Grimes. A former police officer shot in the line of duty, his position before the societal collapse was one of authority and control (even if on a low level). After he wakes up from a coma and finds his family, he begins to lead over his family and several survivors. In his article, Gerry Canavan nicely sums up Rick’s character with the statement, “For over 70 issues [at the article’s press time] readers have followed Rick Grimes (before the zombie apocalypse a police officer, and therefore functioning as a synecdoche for the pre-zombie social order) through a dizzying disintegration as he has been scarred both physically and mentally in the face of ongoing zombie onslaught. Over the year or so of narrative time that has been depicted in the series Rick has lost his place in society, his home, his best friend, one of his hands, his wife and infant daughter, and finally his grip on sanity; by turns paranoid and murderous, Rick has proven himself willing to do anything, to anyone, in the name of survival for himself and his surviving prepubescent son, Carl.” He may be known to lose his sanity on occasion, but Rick is a great leader overall which can be seen through his lifesaving actions. Kirkman pairs Rick with an arsenal of comrades who assert their male dominance. If Rick is ever unavailable because he is injured or away on a mission, one of the other men steps up to be second in command. A woman never takes over in Rick’s absence. A council is formed Strawser 91 in both forms of media, but the comic books do not allow female council members. In the graphic novel, Rick is accompanied by Tyreese, a former NFL football player; Glenn a delivery boy turned thief; Hershel, a tough, farming veterinarian; and Dale a former salesman turned traveler. All of the men in the graphic novels who are leaders have tough, manly jobs. Men with less masculine jobs, such as Shane Walsh who was a police officer, but one that disobeyed police law by turning a gun on his partner and Allen, a shoe salesman, are killed off early on. In the television show the patriarchal rule is slightly different. Rick and Glenn are main leaders. Hershel is a leader but is much older thus is seen more as the voice of reason. Dale is killed early on in the show because he is elderly and opposes the patriarchy. A new sub-leader is found in the form of redneck Darryl Dixon (the undisputed favorite character of the show for many viewers) who uses brain and brawn to rule. Tyreese is a strong male but is not as assertive as he is in the comics. Naturally if the heroes are male then the villains are too. Villains in The Walking Dead are never female. Females may be associated with the evil men but the women are not the main source of trouble. The two biggest human antagonists are Phillip Blake also known as The Governor and Negan (who is currently not mentioned in the TV show). The Governor is the tyrannical ruler of a town called Woodbury while Negan rules a group called “The Saviors.” After The Governor is defeated, Rick’s attention, many issues later, is turned to Negan. The only help he receives against this dictator is from a “King” nonetheless who is escorted by a female tiger. King Ezekiel is the only example of a strong man who formerly held a “weak” occupation; he was a zookeeper. His fate is currently undetermined because the current comics leave off at a time period Kirkman calls “All out war.” He too may end up dead like every other comic book man with a less masculine profession. Strawser 92 After understanding the patriarchal rule found in both the graphic novels and the TV show is helpful when looking at the unruly women found in The Walking Dead universe. Unruly women are constantly oppressed and in numerous ways. Women, be they subservient or unruly are expected to take on domestic duties. Even when society has crumbled, no households exist, and the majority of the population does not live in a house but rather in an offbeat location such as a campsite or a prison, women are still expected to be “barefoot and pregnant.” In the graphic novels, it is revealed that most of the women held passive job positions. A housewife, two Tupperware saleswomen, a law clerk, and a college student are some of the occupations mentioned. Donna, one of the Tupperware saleswomen wonders why she and two other women are headed to the river to wash clothes while the men are allowed to hunt and practice shooting. She haughtily wonders if women will still be allowed to vote once society returns to normal. The domestic chores in the television show are handled the same way. Men are never shown scrubbing clothes in the river. When one woman cracks a joke about missing her vibrator, another woman laughs in agreement. The agreeing woman is beaten by her husband for taking time away from her duties to share in a giggle. The abusive husband also screams at an educated woman for standing up to him about his beaten wife. In both the comics and the show, women are expected to be the main caregivers to the children. In the comics, the most of the women have a pattern of watching their children play and escorting them from meal to meal as their fathers run about on supply runs and Walker killing missions. When Donna dies via a Walker bite (unsurprisingly because she questioned women’s suffrage upon normalcy), her husband is so dependent on her that he gives up and fails to father their twins. He kindly passes them off on the other women until his death when he loses them for good. Strawser 93 Interestingly enough, when a child is orphaned in the comics, he or she is never left in the permanent care of a woman alone. For example, Donna and Allen’s twins are given to both Andrea and Dale, while a young girl named Sofia is given to Maggie and Glenn. This push against single parenthood is almost reminiscent of former societal norms where the father owned the children. Kirkman seems to think that unless the adopted father is later killed off, an adoptive mother should not raise the child alone. The twins are killed off in the volume ahead of Dale so Andrea is not allowed to parent alone. When Glenn is killed, Maggie is left to raise Sofia and her unborn baby alone. It is emphasized however, how nervous she is. She constantly has a doctor check up on the baby and many readers wonder how long it will be until she finds a new man to help run her life. Oppression also comes in the form of combat and direct Walker encounters. In the graphic novel, for example, women are never allowed to go on supply “runs.” It is assumed to be too dangerous because the women are not quick enough to grab the supplies and evade the Walkers. Also in both the comics and the show, women must beg and plead with the men to allow the women permission to practice target shooting. Rick controls when the women can and cannot practice. In the comics, Rick is more eager to let his seven year old son learn how to shoot a gun than his wife. Donna is a perfect example of what can go wrong in the graphic novel series when a gun is not provided. Upon the groups’ arrival to Wilshire Estates, a seemingly vacant housing area, the group learns that they must “clean out” the houses before living in them. Allen cautions Donna that she can’t go near her house of choice until Tyreese comes to clear it out (Allen, although male does not have a gun because he is a shoe salesman and Donna is a women thus they are gunless). Unarmed and unaware, Donna has her eye socket ripped open by a Walker and Strawser 94 dies a miserable death while her husband looks on, helpless and screaming. Readers can’t help but wonder would Donna have lived if either she or her husband had a gun and knowledge on how to use it? In the TV show, once again Rick and Lori’s son Carl is more likely to receive a gun than the group’s women. A big point is made about women’s incompetency with firearms in the form of Andrea. Stunned by not being able to save her sister from an attack, Andrea is eager to learn how to fire a gun. Shane takes her out to learn how to shoot, but the practice ends abruptly when Andrea stops learning a life saving skill so that she can have sex with Shane. Andrea is later on guard when she sees a figure walking slowly towards camp. She does not hear warnings and shoots fellow camp member Darryl Dixon. A point is made that when women try to attempt a task that may be seen as unruly, they are so ignorant about it that they end up doing something stupid—such as shooting a man in the arm. To tie the two examples together, viewers and readers can make the general assumption that women must prove their worth with a gun (or any other weapon for that matter) before being permitted to use weapons. Men on the other hand, are immediately permitted to shoot and stab anything that comes near. The women can prove useful with weapons, but are normally just given a knife on a stick to solve all of their Walker woes. Due to the high amount of casualties, being unarmed is unfair and unjust. Unruly women are often verbally and physically abused in the graphic novel and the show. In the graphic novel, any woman who makes any type of disagreeable statement receives a harsh tongue lashing. For example, after Donna’s death, Andrea (who is extremely unruly in the comics even if she is passive in the show) confronts Allen over his need to keep it together for Strawser 95 the sake of the twins. Although trying to be helpful by offering advice she receives a sharp tongue lashing, “I just lost my f***ing wife you little c**t. Where the hell do you get off telling me about the grieving process?! F*** you!” (Kirkman, Volume Two). Lori also receives her fair share of verbal beat downs. One shocking moment occurs on Hershel’s farm when, upon learning that Hershel plans to force the Atlanta camp group off of his land, the newly pregnant Lori yells at him. Hershel in turn cusses her out and proceeds to almost slap her across the face. When Rick tries to defend his wife, he receives a gun shoved into the temple. In the television show, abuse against women comes in the form of physical tactics. Carol, who is destined to be one of the most unruly women on the show, is beaten and controlled by her husband Ed. Ed scolds her for everything; she is roughly thrown around for sharing canned goods with Carl. She almost tossed around at around the campfire for talking too much. The major beating comes when she laughs during chores. However, Shane grabs and pummels Ed for this smack. Ed then forces Carol and their daughter Sofia to tend to his wounds. Carol tries to coax him out of the tent to join in on a camp fish fry but he refuses. He tries to force Sofia to stay with him but Carol stands up to him for once (easier to do since he can barely move) and takes Sofia with her. Luck for Sofia, because Ed is killed when Walkers wander into their tent and kill him. Rape, a dominant theme in many apocalyptic works is another way women are controlled. In the graphic novels, the ultimate unruly woman of the group comes in the form of katana wielding Michonne. Michonne is known for being out on her own during the beginning of the apocalypse. After her family is killed, she cuts off her Walker boyfriend’s (and his best friend’s) arms and lower jaw so then walks around with them on a leash for safety. Once found and brought to the Atlanta group who now reside in a prison, Michonne is found to slightly Strawser 96 challenge the male authority. She does not get along well with the other women. She refuses to babysit the children and seduces Tyreese via oral sex thus ending his relationship with Carol. Michonne, Glenn, and Rick follow a helicopter they see fly over the prison and end up in Woodbury. The Governor harshly attacks each member of the trio when they will not reveal where they are staying. Rick’s hand is cut off, Glenn is smacked around a little, but Michonne receives the worst punishment by far. After she defies the patriarchy by biting off The Governor’s ear in retaliation for his brutality against Rick, she is taken hostage. She is stripped from the waist down and strung up S and M style with her arms and feet chained apart. The Governor proceeds to roughly rape her. He admits that he was overly rough and suggests that someone will be in to clean her up and maybe bandage her. Readers are horrified at this point; Michonne was a mother of two daughters, she was obviously not a virgin and had experienced two births. She was also currently sexually active with Tyreese. The fact that she needed bandaged up after intercourse with The Governor is both shocking and unsettling. He taunts her telling her she earned her right to cry, and that the man who comes to clean her up may rape her as well. He warns of his later return. Michonne is raped several more times before escaping from Woodbury. Maggie takes Michonne’s place in the television show. She is not, however graphically raped (leaving viewers to wonder if this is only because of cable television or a writers’ choice). Maggie and Glenn are captured while on a supply run. Glenn is brutally beaten while Maggie is sexually exposed by The Governor. He strips her shirt and bra off, touches her, and pins her face down into a small table (also S and M style—which says a lot about Phillip Blake and his need for control). He acts as if he is ready to rape her but does not. Maggie confirms this to Glenn once they are back at the prison. Maggie is an unruly woman in the show and the comics. She Strawser 97 begins a sexual relationship with Glenn which goes against her father’s wishes. She also becomes a sharpshooter in the show. Sexual promiscuity causes Michonne and Maggie to be put into horrid sexual encounters meant to tame and subdue them. Unruly women who show any opposition to the patriarchy or are just strong personality wise are killed off either socially, physically, or both. Carol, as she is portrayed in the comics is a prime example of both types of death. Carol is generally seen as a weak character. She is not eager to engage in combat and is known for being a Tupperware saleswoman who was taking classes in sewing, scrapbooking, and quilting. She admits to have married her husband to quell lonliness, even though he smacked her around. Once he commits suicide (because he “can’t deal” with the pressure of the end of the world) she leave and attaches onto the first group with strong males that she sees. Carol eventually begins a sexual and romantic relationship with Tyreese. An alpha male in the group, she enjoys that he takes care of her. Carol’s life is turned upside down when she spies Tyreese receiving oral sex from Michonne. Carol later becomes depressed once she kicked Tyreese out of her prison cell. She is so depressed that she attempts to commit suicide by slicing her wrists right in front of her daughter. She is following a path many unruly women have followed because after that suicide attempt fails, she breaks social norms by asking Rick and Lori to marry her. She wants to “marry” them and raise all of their children together. After Lori and Rick turn her down, she feels judged and finally commits suicide by walking into a Walker and having her jugular ripped out. Her death is an example of how sexually promiscuous women fair poorly in the zombie apocalypse, much as they have throughout the years. By being unruly via asking for a relationship outside of the social norms of acceptance, Carol (often called “Crazy Carol” by Strawser 98 comic book fans) faces both a social death as she is avoided by other suriviors and a literal death as she commits suicide. In the television show, Carol is a much stronger character. She starts out as a weak character who is dominated and controlled by the man in her life. Ed controls her by abusing her. She begins her path to unruliness when she smashes Ed’s head in with a shovel to prevent him from reanimating. One blow would have prevented the reanimation but she continues to smash him the with shovel, letting all of her frustration out and viewers can identify that she is not only taking revenge but is also finally feeling free. Carol’s next turning point on her way to unruliness is after her daughter Sofia goes missing. She does not go to find Sofia, rather she lets the men hunt for her for an extended amount of time. When Sofia’s fate is finally revealed as she comes out of Hershel’s barn in Walker form, a switch flips in Carol. From that point on she becomes a force to be reckoned with. She either constantly questions authority or joins in with the men with fighting. When it comes to making her own decisions against the patriarchy, Carol does not succeed. When a respiratory virus breaks out and begins affecting people, Carol takes if upon herself to solve the problem. She murders the only two people showing signs of the infection. She rationalizes that they could have choked on their own blood when sleeping so she was helping them out by providing a quick and seemingly painless death (a knife behind the ear directly into the brain). She gave herself away by dragging the bleeding bodies down the hallway before burning them to prevent the virus from spreading. Of course, right after the murders it is discovered that the virus has begun to spread rapidly anyways, making the murders a vain solution. When Rick finds out what she has done, he kindly gives her supplies, a car, and a weapon then kicks her out of the group. The two were on a run thus making it easy to ditch her. Strawser 99 He ignores the fact that rapists and killers of the human variety, not to mention the undead killers rule the earth. He tells her to find a new group and start afresh. This move proves that if any unruly female makes a decision that the patriarchy disapproves of then she will be ejected from the group and into possible death. Lori Grimes, Rick’s wife, is another unruly woman who dies. She dies in both forms of media. In the graphic novel, Lori often verbally—and at times physically—challenges male authority. Added to that fact is that Lori committed an ultimate sin: she gave into her lustful feelings and cheated on her husband with his best friend. She believed Rick to be dead or at least found it unlikely that he would survive his coma. She eagerly has sex with Shane. This act combined with the fact that she becomes pregnant and is unsure of the father makes her a candidate for certain death. Not only does Lori die but she takes her baby (born out of sin if she is Shane’s) with her. Lori is shot in the gut during The Governor’s prison assault and crushes her three week old daughter Judith beneath her when she falls. Rick had accepted the baby as his own and still pledged his love to Lori. It appears that Kirkman did not have to kill them. The plot line that developed after could have continued smoothly even if Lori and Judith had lived (Judith may have been a baby and some would argue that her noise would draw in Walkers but it is remarked upon many times that she has a perfect, calm, and quite personality—very different from Carl). However, one critic, Gerry Caravan suggests that Kirkman did not kill Lori and Judith because of Lori’s unruly nature, but instead to be a symbol of a loss of fertility, ““the death of Rick’s wife and daughter, the moment the circuit of reproductive futurity is cut, is the moment that basically all hope is lost in The Walking Dead.” Whether Lori and the baby are killed to represent Lori’s unruly nature or to signify a loss of hope it is clear that Lori is another woman who paid with her life for a sexual sin. Strawser 100 In the television show, Lori’s story is much more complicated. She has an ongoing affair with Shane rather than a one night stand. She believes Rick to be dead, based on Shane’s word and is shown taking off her wedding band when they have sex. Lori panics when Rick returns. She eventually causes Rick and Shane to fight which ends in Shane’s death. Angered by Shane’s death Lori and Rick drift apart. She is also known for being a terrible mother who cannot keep tabs on her child. She is constantly losing him when Walkers are nearby. Lori dies giving birth to Judith. She bleeds profusely and must have a caesarian which results in her death. Carl shoots her in the head to prevent reanimation. Even though there is a chance that her daughter is Rick’s, Lori still dies even though her death did not have to happen. In the television show but not in the comics, a third woman who is unruly and sexually promiscuous is put to death. Andrea, a lawyer is unruly by rule of her profession even before the end of the world occurs. During the Zombie Apocalypse, she is known for making terrible choices. She has sex with Shane and tries to commit suicide by attempting to stay in the CDC when she knows it will soon explode. Saved by Dale, he takes her gun from her. He deems that she is not stable enough to have it. It is returned just in time for her to shoot Darryl. During a herd attack, Andrea is separated by saved by Michonne. The duo ends up in Woodbury where Andrea is wooed by The Governor and begins a sexual relationship with her. She ends up back at the prison where Carol urges her to end the fighting between the groups by “giving him the best night of his life then knifing him as he sleeps.” Andrea goes back to Phillip Blake and cannot do as Carol suggests. The Governor turns on her and when she tries to run back (again) to the prison, after a long session of cat and mouse, he captures her and kills her by killing her ally then once that man turns into a Walker, she is bitten while trying to kill him. Strawser 101 Interestingly enough, Kirkman allows Andrea, Maggie, and Michonne three of the most unruly women to live in the graphic novels. Out of the prison group and the Atlanta camp, only six survivors remain: Rick, Carl, Michonne, Andrea, Maggie, and Sofia. Despite the patriarchal rule, Kirkman has decided that strong women do well and survive. Critics may argue that he allows these women to live to appeal to a female fan base. However, many assume he allows them to live to further romantic relationships. Michonne found love—or at least lust—again in the form of Morgan (the man who saved Rick when he was wandering around after coming out of his coma) but he too dies shortly after their love affair begins. Readers can’t help but wonder who she will fall for next. Andrea and Rick form a romantic relationship, thus a possible reason why Kirkman has allowed her to live. Regardless of his reasoning, it is proven that while the patriarchy may rules, unruly women outlast. It is important to examine unruly women and patriarchal rule in apocalyptic works such as Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead because they are rising in popularity. Post-apocalyptic settings and plot lines, along with dystopias are beginning to rule literature, television, and film. Many suggest that due to the condition of the world and the need to see the “others” be killed, zombies will not lose popularity anytime soon. As a new genre emerges, it is important to understand how the majority of characters will be structured. Robert Kirkman is responsible for making a series that has been popular. The graphic novels have been in print for ten years with no sign of stopping while the show has brought in a record sixteen million viewers. Kirkman is the father of the new zombie popularity and others who come after him will pay attention and possibly copy his treatment of patriarchy and unruly women. Strawser 102 Works Cited Canavan, Gerry. "'We Are The Walking Dead': Race, Time, And Survival In Zombie Narrative." Extrapolation: A Journal Of Science Fiction And Fantasy 51.3 (2010): 431-453. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 1 Dec. 2013. Kirkman, Robert. The Walking Dead: Compedium One. Berkley. Image. 2012. Strawser 103 Into That Night: An Explanation to The Autobiographical Choices Made by Elie Wiesel in His Novel Night Genre Studies: Autobiographies Dr. Elizabeth Brown 4 December 2012 It is hard to imagine living through the horrors of World War II’s Holocaust, an event where six million Jewish people and thousands of people of other lineages, lifestyles, faiths and professions were slaughtered. It would be unthinkable to picture watching family members, friends, and even complete strangers die without reasonable cause. Living through such an event would change the survivor forever. Elie Wiesel’s life was changed forever by the time he spent in concentration camps. Unlike some survivors, Wiesel decided to write his story so all would know about the horrors that forever changed and shaped his life. His autobiography, Night, is as shocking as it is heartbreaking. Readers witness the Holocaust through the eyes of fifteen year old Wiesel as he suffers from starvation, injury, and personal loss. Mark M. Anderson in his article entitled "The Child Victim As Witness To The Holocaust: An American Story?,” provides an accurate statement about Wiesel’s autobiography, “its account of camp atrocities was shockingly raw at the time—Wiesel’s simply narrated tale of a child and his family caught up in the death machinery of Auschwitz proved irresistibly powerful.” Early on in his autobiography, it becomes clear to readers as to why Wiesel mentions specific, powerful episodes from his time in camps. Elie Wiesel mentions heartbreaking moments from his time in concentration camps to highlight the evil faced by millions of Jewish people and also to serve as a warning to prevent another event of this caliber from happening. Strawser 104 The first autobiographical event included in Elie Wiesel’s Night to illustrate the horrors of the camps occurs before Wiesel is sent into the Jewish Ghetto. Wiesel describes his faith prior to his time in the camps. Young Elie was deeply religious. He studied every document important to the Jewish faith and even attempted to study those books only adults were permitted to look at. In his free time Elie enjoyed weeping over the Torah and begging for the coming Messiah. Wiesel gives an example of his devotion with the line, “By day I studied Talmud and by night I would run to the synagogue to weep over the destruction of the Temple” (3). Readers may question why Wiesel immediately mentions his childhood faith within the first few pages of the novel. Two main reasons as to why this issue is mentioned are obvious. Firstly, as Anderson states in his academic article Wiesel was, “A Talmud student who spends much of his time praying; he has little conception of an outside world, of history or politics.” Wiesel stresses to readers, the fact that his family and his community did not understand the horrors that awaited them at the camps. This naïve attitude added to the impactful nature of the events Wiesel mentioned. Readers see a transition occur in Wiesel; he morphs from a clueless (world eventwise) child to a young man struggling to make sense of the terrors of the concentration camps. Readers sense the fear of the unknown exhibited by not only Wiesel but also by his family and community members. Secondly, after coming into the camps, Wiesel slowly began to lose his faith. At first he did not question God. He did not question Him when he was placed in the ghetto. He did not question Him when he was stuffed into a cattle car. Wiesel did not even question God when he was separated from his mother and sisters. His doubt began after he became witness to multiple acts of violence. He witnessed burnings, shootings, and beatings of both people he knew well Strawser 105 and complete strangers. The biggest piece of evidence on his loss of faith comes after Wiesel hears another inmate conduct a religious service in honor of the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah: Blessed be God’s name? Why, but why would I bless Him? Every fiber in me rebelled. Because He caused thousands of children to burn in His mass graves? Because He kept six crematoria working day and night, including Sabbath and the Holy Days? Because in His great might, He created Auschwitz, Birkenau, Buna, and so many other factories of death? How could I say to Him: Blessed be Thou, Almighty, Master of the Universe, who chose us among all nations to be tortured day and night, to watch as our fathers, our mothers, our brothers end up in the furnaces? (67) Wiesel includes these instances of his religion (or lack thereof) to solidify the fact that the concentration camps could change a survivor forever. Wiesel’s faith was almost completely absent by the time he left the camps. He mentions a few instances where he slips up and forgets his vendetta against God. When this happens he catches himself praying. It is never made clear to the readers by the end of Night whether or not Wiesel reconciled with God. It is hard to believe that a boy who would weep and beg for the coming messiah to appear would abandon his faith. Many would say Wiesel’s disappearing religion was a horror caused by his time in the camps and thus is why it was included in the autobiography. If readers research Wiesel on non-academic websites, they will discover that Wiesel offers no solid statements on his faith. However, he is an advocate for the religious rights of the Jewish people and is a humanitarian who helps with many causes. Wiesel performs good and helpful deeds regardless of his faith (or lack thereof). The second event included by Wiesel into his autobiography to reflect the horrors of the camps and to serve as a warning against something of that caliber from occurring again Strawser 106 came while Wiesel and his family were traveling to the concentration camps from the Ghetto. A woman held captive with Wiesel screams of fire and burning the whole duration of the journey. Excuses were made, men tied her down, and gagged her, but at every opportunity the woman screamed. Everyone thought she was mad. The woman constantly repeated the line “Jews, look! Look at the fire! Look at the flames!” (28). No one realized she was a prophet. Upon arrival at the front gates of Birkenau, Wiesel, his family, and the other community members find themselves face to face with clouds of smoke and a new disturbing smell filling the air. Wiesel describes the experience on page 28, “We had forgotten Mrs. Schachter’s existence. Suddenly there was a terrible scream…We stared at the flames in the darkness…In the air, the smell of burning flesh…We had arrived. In Birkenau.” The crematorium at Auschwitz is perhaps the most infamous of all burning chambers in the history of the Holocaust. Many survivors recount the horrors of these ovens and Wiesel is no different. He constantly mentions the burning smell of human flesh and the awful feeling of watching other inmates be taken away or “selected.” The vivid mental pictures painted by Wiesel in his novel encourage sickening imagery. Wiesel’s mentions of these horrors will aid to the attempt to prevent another event like the Holocaust. The third memory mentioned by Wiesel comes when Wiesel includes the heart wrenching story of his family’s separation. Despite the fact that his age qualified him to stay with his mother and be viewed as a child, Wiesel luckily made the decision to go with his father. Little did he know he would never see his mother and younger sister again. Wiesel did not know until much later on that his mother and sister were gassed and burnt in the crematoria upon arrival. Wiesel gives his account of this memory with the lines, “‘Men to the left! Women to the right!’ Eight words spoken quietly, indifferently, without emotion…Yet Strawser 107 that was the moment when I left my mother…I didn’t know that this was the moment in time and the place where I was leaving my mother and Tzipora forever” (29). This instance illustrates the murders of innocent people and is thus important to the autobiography. An interesting accompanying point to this memory, however, is the question as to why Wiesel does not mention his two older sisters during this section. Hilda and Beatrice (Bea) are briefly mentioned in the beginning of the novel. They are not mentioned past the situation when the family is moved into the cattle car. Wiesel’s two older sisters were also on the cattle car, were also sent to the right during selection, and also suffered the horrors of the camps. The only difference is Hilda and Beatrice survived the Holocaust. Why does Wiesel not mention them? Mark M. Anderson provides a helpful theory when it comes to Wiesel’s outlook on his autobiography. Anderson believes that Wiesel’s point of view in Night is primarily that of a child,” The authorial perspective of this “child” witness is so natural, corresponding with Wiesel’s own biography, that one can easily overlook its constructed nature. Although he was almost 16 when he entered Auschwitz (and told the German doctors he was 18 to avoid selection for the furnaces), Wiesel repeatedly refers to himself not as an adolescent or youth but as a “child,” an “enfant”—[in the French translation of the novel] a choice in vocabulary that brings out his symbolic defenselessness.” Wiesel presents his story through the eyes of a child; this point of view would be hindered by the mentioning of his two older sisters. The oldest Wiesel girls were nearly women. Wiesel states that, before the move to the ghetto, his mother was planning to marry Hilda off to an eligible man. Wiesel’s youngest sister Tziporah, however was only seven years old. She possessed a child’s innocence, the exact message Wiesel was attempting to display when he chose to write from the perspective Strawser 108 of a teenager rather than that of an adult. Wiesel mentions his sister’s innocence at the time of her death in the introduction to the book, “The vanishing of a beautiful, well-behaved little Jewish girl with golden hair and a sad smile, murdered with her mother the very night of their arrival” (ix). Tziporah serves as a symbolic reminder of all of the children who perished in the Holocaust. Although she is an adult, Wiesel’s mother’s murder is mentioned for two reasons. Firstly, because mothers and children were commonly sent to the gas chambers and crematoria together, thus illustrating a horror of the camps. Secondly, the separation represents the first time Wiesel has been taken away from his mother. He is like a scared child when his is sent to the left to be with the men. Wiesel makes mention that his father suggested that his son should have gone to the right with his mother because other boys (viewed as children) his age went with their mothers. Wiesel shows the first time that he chose to be an adult rather than a child. The fourth example Wiesel gives occurs when Wiesel himself lies in a situation and thus makes the situation worse for all parties involved. Wiesel lied to a family member who found him in the camps. The man, a cousin, had heard that the Wiesels of Sighet were in the camps. He wanted to receive news on the wife and two young sons he had left behind. Elie Wiesel had not heard from the man’s immediate family in two years but he proclaimed that they were fine. The cousin was so overjoyed he cried and gave them half of his bread. Wiesel reveals in the next passage the heartbreaking consequence of telling the lie, “’The only thing that keeps me alive,’ he kept saying, ‘is to know that Reizel and the little ones are still alive. Were it not for them, I would give up.’ One evening, he came to see us, his face radiant. ‘A transport just arrived from Antwerp…Surely they will have news…’ He left. We never saw him again. He had been given the news. The real news” (45). Wiesel includes this instance to show that what maybe would Strawser 109 seem like a small lie in peaceful times, simply saying one had heard from distant family members, became an earth shattering lie in the Holocaust. Elie Wiesel’s cousin was already near death when he was told this lie; he was mere skin and bones. Although his fate his unknown, Wiesel’s comment of never seeing the man again after the truth was found out leads readers to believe that the man simply gave up and was gassed and/or burnt in the crematoria. Readers begin to question as to why Wiesel lied. Due to his religious nature before entering the camps, Wiesel leads readers to believe that he did not lie frequently before he became a prisoner. Wiesel seems to have lied to save his kinsman’s life. He immediately makes mention when the man first approaches he and his father that the man is emaciated and looks near death. Perhaps Wiesel viewed the lie as an act of mercy. The lie clearly gave them man hope and prolonged his life by a few weeks. Readers may also question why Wiesel was the one to lie and not his father. Two possible answers to this question arise. Firstly, if Wiesel did see this lie as a merciful fib, then the act could be a reflection of the pre-camps Wiesel, the extremely religious one. The incident occurs early on in his time at the camps before his religious views began to fade. Secondly, Wiesel might have spoken the lie to save his father from the blame. In the end, the relative was never heard from again. Wiesel might have told the lie to prevent his father from feeling responsible for any outcomes of the fib. Wiesel mentions the physical abuse both he and his father faced in the camps. The abuse acts as a fifth horrific example found in Night. He mentions, often in passing, short instances where either he or his father received beatings at random and without reason. One episode he does elaborate on is when he was lashed several times for accidently witnessing an official in the throes of passion with a young Polish girl. Wiesel relives his punishment with the lines, Strawser 110 Twenty four….twenty five’ I had not realized it but I had fainted… Then I heard someone yell ‘Stand up!’ I felt myself fall back on the crate. How I wanted to get up! At Idek’s command, two inmates lifted me and led me to him… ‘Listen to me, you son of a swine…So much for your curiosity. You shall receive five times more if you dare tell anyone what you saw! Understood?’ I nodded, once, ten times, endlessly. As if my head had decided to say yes for all eternity (58). This beating nearly killed Wiesel. He was left badly injured and mostly unconscious. His beating however was not uncommon. It was a punishment used for many prisoners and although, painful for readers to read it serves its purpose as a warning of what could come from another event of this caliber occurring. Wiesel mentions two hangings in his autobiography. The first was of a young prisoner who had stolen something (Wiesel does not mention what) during an air raid. Wiesel mentions that this boy’s murder troubled him at a time when he watched millions of Jews go to the crematoria daily. He describes the first hanging with the lines, “Caps off!’ Ten thousand prisoners paid their respects. ‘Cover your heads!’ Then the entire camp… filed past the hanged boy and stared at his extinguished eyes, the tongue hanging from his gaping mouth. The Kapos forced everyone to look him squarely in the face” (65). Wiesel also mentions, in a moment of dramatic impact that the soup he ate after the first hanging tasted better than ever. This seems like an odd sentiment to add but the meaning becomes clearer when Wiesel explains his feelings regarding the second hanging. The second instance he mentions focuses on the hanging of a young boy called a pipel. The pipel, according to Wiesel, had an angelic face and was loved by all. The horrific part of the story comes when the chair holding the young boy is kicked from beneath him; Strawser 111 Then came the march past the victims. The two men were no longer alive. Their tongues were hanging out, swollen and bluish. But the third rope was still moving: the child, too light, was still breathing…And so he remained for more than half an hour, lingering between life and death…He was still alive when I passed him. His tongue as still red, his eyes not yet extinguished (65). After this hanging, Wiesel mentions that the soup served that night tasted like corpses. The soup clearly is symbolic for his emotions. He was distraught over the first hanging, but it was merely an example of everyday life around the camps. Thus the soup that evening tasted great. The death of the pipel deeply disturbed Wiesel and thus the soup symbolically tasted of corpses that night to represent an extremely cruel death. Anderson offers an interesting theory as to why the hanging of the pipel is mentioned, This spiritual loss crystallizes in what is perhaps the book’s most emotionally taxing—and unforgettable—scene, which narrates the brutal murder of another child. Accused of stashing weapons in the barracks, a beloved little “boy” with the refined and beautiful face of a “sad angel” is tortured and then hanged from the gallows in front of the other prisoners. “‘Where is God now?’” one man asks. Wiesel then hears a voice deep within himself responding: “Where is he? Here he is—He is hanging here on this gallows.’ Not only does the hanging of the pipel serve as an example of Wiesel’s diminishing faith, but also, it supports Wiesel’s childlike perception. Wiesel mentions the hanging of adults during the first hanging incident. He seems impacted but goes onto mention about the great tasting soup. However, when the pipel is hanged, Wiesel, a young teenager himself, receives a reality check. Strawser 112 He blatantly sees that the guards are not afraid to punish any Jew, even a beloved and favored child. The soup tasted like corpses that night because of the realization Wiesel came to about his safety. Elie Wiesel includes a memory of sickening irony to shock readers. He had to undergo a foot operation while in the camps. While still in the prisoner hospital, Wiesel heard a rumor that any prisoner left in the building would be burnt. Wiesel and his father decided to be evacuated with the other prisoners. He includes their conversation on page eighty-two with the lines, ‘“Well father, what will we do?’ He was silent. ‘Let’s be evacuated with the others,’ I said… [His father replied] ‘Let’s hope we don’t regret it, Eliezer.’ After the war, I learned the fate of those who had remained at the infirmary. They were, quite simply, liberated by the Russians, two days after the evacuation.” These lines illustrate the uncertainty of the Holocaust. The two male Wiesels did not know which option would insure their livelihood. The main goal of most prisoners was to stay alive. The Wiesels were forced to make a tough decision. The decision cost Elie Wiesel’s father his life. Prisoners were forced into making life altering decisions like that every day, often the outcomes where horrible; resulting in punishment or death like the outcome of the Wiesel’s choice. Also, Wiesel might have included this incident to take some of the blame for his father’s death because his father died immediately following the relocation to another camp. Although the Wiesels were forced to make a rational decision, years later it may have appeared irrational to Wiesel because of the result of the decision: the loss of his father. Wiesel’s relationship with his father was vital to his personal survival. Not only did Wiesel have to live and care for himself, but he also had to care for his father during the majority of his time in the camps. In his article, Anderson makes an impactful statement about Strawser 113 the father son relationship “During their imprisonment, the roles of father and son are prematurely and perversely reversed: the father regresses to an enfeebled, defenseless child while the son is thrust into the role of adult caretaker.” Readers witness this role switch. At the beginning of the autobiography, Wiesel mentions that he acts like a spoiled child, refusing to eat his crusty bread and watery soup. His father must coax him to eat and care for him. Eventually Wiesel begins to care for his father. Although Wiesel does not always help his father, for example he watches his father be beaten on a few occasions and does nothing to stop it, but overall the younger Wiesel cares for the elder. Elie requests a job working by his father, thinks of ways to save him when he thinks he has been selected, and looks out for him when they together make their final journey. Wiesel ends the book describing his journey with his father. The pair ran hundreds of miles under the instruction of guards. It was due to the snowy conditions they ran in that his father fell ill. His father succumbed to his illness right before the camp was liberated. This final heartbreaking memory is described by Wiesel with lines found on page 112, “I woke up at dawn on January 29. On my father’s cot there lay another sick person. They must have taken him away before daybreak and taken him to the crematorium. Perhaps he was still breathing…” Wiesel then describes that he could not cry for his father because his tears had ran out. Throughout the novel, Wiesel makes a point to mention his deep connection with his father. The fact that he physically cannot cry after the passing of his companion highlights the extent of Wiesel’s broken spirit. After Wiesel’s father’s death, Wiesel’s childlike innocence dies alongside him. Mike M. Anderson sums up this death of innocence with the statement, “Wiesel survives Auschwitz physically, but the believing child within himself, his innocence and purity, have been Strawser 114 murdered.” Numerous other survivors of the Holocaust bore emotional scars, which would last a lifetime. This memory is an example of the horrors of the Holocaust. Elie Wiesel lived through a horrible two years in the concentration camps of the Holocaust. He shares heartbreaking memories in his autobiography Night. These memories included both provoke emotion in readers and open their eyes to the horrors faced by six million Jews. Wiesel also tells a cautionary tale by weaving all of these instances together in one unforgettable story. . Night is not easily forgotten by the author and by the readers. Strawser 115 Works Cited Anderson, Mark M. "The Child Victim As Witness To The Holocaust: An American Story?." Jewish Social Studies: History, Culture, And Society 14.1 (2007): 1-22. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 4 Dec. 2012. Wiesel, Elie. Night: Twenty- Fifth Anniversary Edition. New York. Bantam Books, 1960. Strawser 116 To Create Witness Senior Project Literature and Writing Seminar (Capstone) Dr. Duda/Dr. Julier 10 December 2013 The Holocaust, one of the world’s tragic examples of genocide, is an event that forever changed the lives of all who survived its horrors. Through survivors wanting to share their experiences, Holocaust Literature has become a genre in its own right—one that has been increasing in popularity in the last few decades. Survivor memoirs can easily be found on many bookshelves, in public libraries, and in classrooms. Controversy surrounds the Holocaust in the form of disbelief and likewise, controversy swirls around Holocaust Literature. Holocaust Literature causes controversy often, when the experiences shared are fictional accounts. Due to the rapid loss of Holocaust survivors, it is necessary to create fictionalized accounts to give voices to those who have been silenced. Non-survivor authors can successfully write believable fictional accounts by following a pattern known as the Holocaust Journey, by being aware of facts to enhance accuracy, and by realizing that it is important to share survivors’ stories regardless of if their experiences were taboo or not. The validity of fiction is challenged more than non-fiction. As Andrzei Gasiorek states in his article, non-fiction comes across as more believable because, “Memory is seen to be a source of truth because it uncovers and engages with transformative events. Contemporary fiction, much of which deals with events that are perceived to be traumatic, for example (to take just a few Strawser 117 obvious instances), the Holocaust, the Second World War, the Vietnam War, the legacies of colonialism and imperialism, the attack on the Twin Towers, and the London bombings of 2005. How (if at all) can such events and histories be comprehended?” Many critics worry that someone who has not lived through the Holocaust or taking that thought even further, someone who is not even of Jewish descent or practicing the Jewish religion, could not fathom the experience enough to write a convincing fictional account. Critics worry that the ethos and the warning that most novels offer will not be available when written by a removed author. However, if the author takes all elements into consideration the product will be believable and moving. The majority of Holocaust non-fiction also follows a set pattern. The “Holocaust Journey,” written by survivors is a multiple step pattern followed in many survivor accounts. Due to the set pattern, it can be argued that fictional accounts that follow this “journey,” can seem both valid and believable. Also, because such a pronounced pattern exists, Holocaust fiction can be written by people both in and outside of the Jewish faith who are not survivors of the Holocaust. The “Holocaust Journey,” written by survivors, is a multiple step pattern followed in many survivor accounts. Due to the set pattern, it can be argued that fictional accounts that follow this “journey,” can seem both valid and believable. Also, because such a pronounced pattern exists, Holocaust fiction can be written by people both in and outside of the Jewish faith who are not survivors of the Holocaust. The pattern of the “Holocaust Journey” is easily identified in both non-fictional and fictional accounts. Two non-fictional accounts that follow this pattern include, Elie Wiesel’s Strawser 118 Night and Livia Bitton-Jackson’s I Have Lived a Thousand Years: Growing Up in The Holocaust. Both books serve as the first part of a trilogy about the authors and their families’ struggles for survival during their times in the concentration camps. The Holocaust Journey pattern is complex and alarmingly sad because it gives insight to the horrors of the Holocaust. The first step of the “Holocaust Journey” is “the normal life.” This section of the memoir or story, often found at the beginning of the account, focuses on a family—usually a close-knit family—and the family members’ everyday lives. The family includes the survivor or the main character (if the account is fictional), usually loving, attentive parents, and siblings. This step describes the calm before the storm: a peaceful, idyllic life filled with freedom. The narrator of the story focuses on explaining his or her interests, his or her education, and the family businesses. Normally, the family owns a business—such as a general store or ice cream parlor. If the family is not well known for a business, then the members are well known for their higher education and eagerness to learn. For example, in Elie Wiesel’s Night, he discusses life with his parents and three sisters. In the beginning of Night he gives insight into his family’s life, “There were four of us children. Hilda, the eldest; then Bea; I was the third and the only son; Tzipora was the youngest. My parents ran a store. Hilda and Bea helped with the work” (Wiesel 4).Wiesel’s family follows the pattern to a tee. His family was a close knit one (he elaborates on their relationships throughout the book), he had multiple siblings, and his family ran a business. Another part of Wiesel’s “normal life” that is notable is his faith prior to his time in the camps. Young Wiesel was deeply religious. He studied every document important to the Jewish faith and even attempted to study those books only adults were permitted to look at. In his free time Elie enjoyed weeping over the Torah and begging for the coming Messiah. Wiesel gives an example of his devotion with the Strawser 119 line, “By day I studied Talmud and by night I would run to the synagogue to weep over the destruction of the Temple” (Wiesel 3). Wiesel’s life before the camps was one filled with family and faith, but that was all soon to change drastically. Livia Bitton-Jackson’s (called Elli Friedman, Ellike, and Elvira in this novel) autobiographical account, I Have Lived a Thousand Years: Growing Up In The Holocaust, also mentions normal life. The opening chapter of her novel is even entitled “The City of My Dreams.” In the first chapter she paints a picture of happy, pre-imprisonment times, “We children splash all summer in the Danube. Families picnic in the grass, the local soccer team has its practice field nearby, and the swimming team trains for its annual meet” (Bitton-Jackson 12). Bitton-Jackson discusses her relationships with her families. She and her mother have a slightly strained relationship, one impacted by the onset of puberty, but she later reveals her deep connection with her mother. In the camps, she does everything within her power to save her mother’s life. Also, she is age thirteen/fourteen while in the camps, yet still refers to her mother as “mommy.” Despite her rocky relationship with her mother at the beginning of the book, it is apparent she has a loving relationship with her father (“daddy”) and her brother, Bubi, as she mentions them often and uses endearing terms towards them. She too mentions a family-owned shop. The second step of the journey is one of small changes and conflicts. The changes include wearing the Star of David on every clothing item, having to give up valuables, having to adjust to new, yet stricter rules, and not being allowed to attend work or school. Many times the leaving school scenes include the young students being bullied by non-Jewish supporter of Hitler. In Wiesel’s account he describes the second step of the journey perfectly, “First edict: Jews were prohibited from leaving their residences for three days, under penalty of death…that same day, Strawser 120 the Hungarian police burst into every Jewish home in town: a Jew was henceforth forbidden to own gold, jewelry, or any valuables. Everything had to be handed over to the authorities, under penalty of death…three days later, a new decree: every Jew had to wear the yellow star [of David]” (Wiesel 10-11). Wiesel goes on to mention his family’s reaction to the changes. When the order to turn in valuables was announced, his father buried the family savings in the cellar of their home. In reaction to the Star of David being sewn into clothing, many Jewish people in the community visited the Wiesel house because Elie’s father was known for his intelligence and level head. He encouraged the community members to wear the Stars, claiming they would not mark them for death. Wiesel finishes up the segment by mentioning that other new rules kept Jewish people out of restaurants, cafes, off of trains, out of synagogues, and off the street by six in the evening. Bitton-Jackson’s account also mentions these changes. She was a schoolgirl at the time of her story’s start and was shocked beyond belief when her school was closed. As a girl who achieved “high marks,” Bitton-Jackson was preparing for preparatory school and was close to graduation. Instead of attending a graduation ceremony, the last few weeks of school were bypassed and she received her diploma with very little pomp and circumstance. She was not honored for being awarded an honor’s diploma, but was instead bullied by a group of Hitler Youth who sing a vulgar, propaganda filled song called “Hey Jew Girl, Hey Jew Girl.” In regards to her possessions, Bitton-Jackson was upset to have to part with her new yellow Schwinn bicycle, “I was not going to do it! Let them kill me, I was not going to let them take my new bike! I had not even ridden it yet…I could not part from it now…in my panic and rage, I felt helpless, exposed. Violated” (Bitton-Jackson 26). She is not, however, the only person who is upset about giving up her valuables. She describes the anguish of watching her mother turn in the Strawser 121 family’s best silver and mentions seeing a vast range of emotions in the eyes of all who are involved. Later in the chapter, she describes the incident where her father took her into the cellar to show her where they family’s money and most valuable jewels have been hidden. He tells her where they are located so that she may find them if she is the only family member who returns to the house after the war. This scene is powerful, as Bitton-Jackson fights with the reality of the situation and is faced with her first adult responsibility. She also discusses wearing the Star of David. Her brother wears the Star like a badge, but she hides hers in shame, even daring to not wear it at times. Her fear of wearing the Star, prompts her brother to call her a coward. The third step in the Holocaust Journey is the “appearance of the soothsayer.” Be it an actual person or simply rumors, a force predicting the fate of the Jewish population comes to warn the town. Going along with the appearance of the soothsayer, the fourth step in the Holocaust Journey is the rejection of that soothsayer. In Night, the soothsayer, Moshe the Beadle is introduced in the first chapter, on the first page. Described as being a poor, clown-like, jack-of-all-trades, Moshe the Beadle studied religious documents with young Wiesel before being expelled out of the town of Sighet for being a foreign Jew. Moshe the Beadle comes back to the town to serve as a soothsayer. He shares his experience: he was taken into the forest and forced to help dig trenches. He then watched as the Nazis shot the Jewish people who had only moments before completed digging what turned out to be their own graves. He miraculously survived by being left for dead after a leg injury. He made his way back to the town, informing every Jewish household he passed along the way of the horrors he saw. Strawser 122 But people refused to believe his tales, they refused to listen. Some even insinuated that he only wanted their pity, that he was imagining things. Others flatly said he had gone mad. As for Moshe, he wept and pleaded: ‘Jews listen to me! That’s all I ask of you…’ Even I did not believe him…Once, I asked him the question: ‘Why do you want people to believe you so much?’…’You don’t understand’ he said in despair…’I succeeded in coming back…where did I get my strength? I wanted to Sighet to describe to you my death so that you might ready yourselves…Only no one is listening to me. (Wiesel 7) Moshe was ignored by many and even Wiesel himself, known for being an intelligent young man, rejected his friend’s claims. Moshe tried to also tell the stories of the horrors he had witnessed other Jews go through, one girl who was shot during the initial acts of violence laid alive and in pain for three days before dying. A man asked to be killed before his sons so he would not have to watch them die. Despite all of these warnings, the Jews of Sighet, as Wiesel has often said, “smiled on.” Livia Bitton-Jackson’s account also mentions a soothsayer. The main soothsayer in her account (there are several other soothsayers in her novel, including rumors and new stories, etc) is her brother Bubi. While away at college, he witnesses horrors that prompt him to serve as the soothsayer. Bubi watches in horrors as the streets of Budapest are overflowing with Nazis and Nazi synthesizers. He rushes home to inform his family. He arrives pale and scared in the middle of the night but his father quietly reassures him that what he saw was a demonstration of some kind. The father rationalizes that the Germans could not have invaded Budapest without the whole country being alerted. He also coerces Bubi into leaving the house the following morning to return to school. After Bubi leaves a neighbor, whose son is also away at the college comes rushing in confirming that the Germans did in fact, invade Budapest. Upon hearing that Bitton- Strawser 123 Jackson’s father sent Bubi back to Budapest the man responded in shock, “’What? He was here? And you knew? You knew and you didn’t say anything?” (Bitton-Jackson 20). Bubi eventually returns safely home. The fifth step in the Holocaust Journey is “the rude awakening.” After ignoring the soothsayer’s warnings, the survivor or main character is rounded up and suddenly taken away from what is left of “the normal life.” In Elie Wiesel’s Night, his family is not so much taken away as locked into their new surroundings. Wiesel’s family is barb wired into a ghetto. Life as they know it is gone, but a new life begins. Wiesel writes that everything goes back to “normal” and that the ghetto is ran by delusion. After a time in the ghetto, Wiesel’s family receives news that they will be transported out of the ghetto and into the unknown. Wiesel’s family first consoles the others in the community who were shipped out first. The family then moves to a smaller ghetto before finally being transported into the beginnings of their nightmare. Livia Bitton-Jackson and her family go through a rude awakening similar to that of the Wiesels. Informed in the middle of the night that they will be moved to a ghetto, the family prepares all night and leaves the only house they have ever known the next afternoon. Once in the ghetto the family gains a small room in a small house that they divide equally amongst their family. The family then settles into a new normal. Bitton-Jackson (known as Elli Friedman at the time) “falls in love” with a fellow ghetto member. As soon as the family becomes comfortable they are shattered as Elli’s “daddy” is transported away first. Elli is even more upset when her mother fails to wake her to say goodbye. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the family, including a newly mentioned family member, Aunt Serena is deported as the ghetto is liquidated. Strawser 124 What is to come is step number six in the Holocaust Journey; the survivor/main character and his or her family is moved into cattle cars that serve as the trains bearing them into the unthinkable. Elie Wiesel was shoved into a Hungarian cattle car with seventy-nine other people. Although the group was given a few pails of water and loaves of bread, their thirst and hunger grew unbearable. On an interesting note, Wiesel mentions that many of the young people in the cattle car tested the boundaries of free will by caressing each other in the very public dark space. However, the lovers are clearly overshadowed by a woman held captive with Wiesel who screams of fire and burning the whole duration of the journey. Excuses were made, men tied her down, and gagged her, but at every opportunity the woman screamed. Everyone thought she was mad. The woman constantly repeated the line “Jews, look! Look at the fire! Look at the flames!” (Wiesel 28). No one realized she was a prophet. Upon arrival at the front gates of Birkenau, Wiesel, his family, and the other community members find themselves face to face with clouds of smoke and a new disturbing smell filling the air. Wiesel describes the experience on page 28, “We had forgotten Mrs. Schachter’s existence. Suddenly there was a terrible scream…We stared at the flames in the darkness…In the air, the smell of burning flesh…We had arrived. In Birkenau.” The crematorium at Auschwitz is perhaps the most infamous of all burning chambers in the history of the Holocaust. Many survivors recount the horrors of these ovens and Wiesel is no different. He constantly mentions the burning smell of human flesh and the awful feeling of watching other inmates be taken away or “selected.” The vivid mental pictures painted by Wiesel in his novel encourage sickening imagery. Livia Bitton-Jackson also mentions her experiences with the cattle car. At first she refers to it as a wagon then calls her vehicle to certain death a cattle car. As with Wiesel’s narrative, the car is jammed with people (eighty-five) and there is barely room to sit. Bitton-Jackson does not Strawser 125 focus on the journey to the camps as much Wiesel does. Instead, she mentions her arrival to Auschwitz and her fear of her new surroundings. She cringes as she realizes she has left her belongs in the cattle car. She also nearly vomits as she watches her father be kicked in the head for simply bending down to pick up his hat. As if the cattle car scenes are not heartbreaking enough, the torment to the readers moves on as the authors describe the seventh step, “the initial arrive and separation at the camps.” Those who survive the train are spilt up from family and friends. The episode is punctuated with many tears and lies. Usually half of the family is immediately taken to be gassed. If that is not mentioned then other horrors of the separation is emphasized. In Night, Wiesel includes the heart wrenching story of his family’s separation. Despite the fact that his age qualified him to stay with his mother and be viewed as a child, Wiesel luckily made the decision to go with his father. Little did he know he would never see his mother and younger sister again. Wiesel did not know until much later on that his mother and sister were gassed and burnt in the crematoria upon arrival. Wiesel gives his account of this memory with the lines, “‘Men to the left! Women to the right!’ Eight words spoken quietly, indifferently, without emotion…Yet that was the moment when I left my mother…I didn’t know that this was the moment in time and the place where I was leaving my mother and Tzipora forever” (29). Wiesel makes mention that his father suggested that his son should have went to the right with his mother because other boys (viewed as children) his age went with their mothers. However, Wiesel moves along with his father where both men lie about their age and occupations to avoid the gas. Wiesel says that he is an eighteen year old farmer, not a fifteen year old student. His father proclaims a similar occupation and states that he is forty not fifty years old. Strawser 126 Livia Bitton-Jackson also tells of her separation once at the camps. She, along with her mother and aunt, is separated from her brother and father. When the young girl approaches the man who is making the infamous right or left decisions, stops to touch her hair. He is exstatic to find that she has golden hair. In fact, it is her hair, which she had mentioned earlier to be her best feature, that saves her life. She is asked by the man (who is later to be revealed as Dr. Joseph Mengele the “Angel of Death of Auschwitz) if she is even Jewish and then is told she should say she is sixteen from that point on (most children fifteen and under were burned upon arrival. Children could not work and therefore were viewed as a waste of food). Bitton-Jackson’s mother is also sent to the left with her daughter. She tries to tell Mengele that her sister will need her more but he disagrees and shoves her with her daughter. Luckily, he did, because BittonJackson’s Aunt Serena, an older, sickly woman was taken immediately to the crematoria where she was gassed and burnt in the flames. The eighth step is “Welcome to the Tombs.” In this step, survivors/main characters must adjust to initial life at the camps. Those who survived selection had to be made ready for the camps. They went through a process of having all of the hair on their bodies forcefully shaved off, were sharply given number tattoos to replace their names, and had to wear new camp clothes which were ill fitting and threadbare. After making these adjustments, the Jews had to adjust to the meager, disgusting camp food, had to start their work detail and also tried, usually in vain, to search for loved ones. They also had to adjust to the smell of the crematoria. In Night, Wiesel discusses when he was forced to give up his clothes. After shedding his clothes he was shaved and then forced to stand naked for hours on end. After that, he was doused in a harsh disinfectant and given ill-fitting clothes. He was able to sleep a night before rising to receive his first bowl of Strawser 127 camp soup. He did not eat the soup because, even though he was starving, he was still a spoiled child used to finer food. After the meager meal he became known by his new name, A-7713. Livia Bitton-Jackson discusses this step in great detail. After being separated from her aunt, she is taken away with her mother and forced to strip naked. She initially refuses due to the large amount of SS men in the room. As a newly developing girl, she tries hard to not remove her bra. However, after shots ring out she carefully removes it. Next, she describes the process of her hair removal, “…Several young women in gray dresses start shaving our hair—on our heads, under our arms, and in the pubic area. My long, thick braids remain attached while the shaving machine shears my scalp. The pain of the heavy braid tugging mercilessly at the yet unshaven roots brings tears to my eyes” (Bitton-Jackson 77). Next the young girl and her mother receive grey dresses and ill-fitting shoes. Once they are finally allowed into the camp, they meet up with some cousins who introduce them to camp “food.” There is no water in the camp. They must drink from the “lake” which is a putrid puddle. Next they attempt to eat the bread. BittonJackson describes it as looking like mud and dissolving in her mouth like sand. Later that night she vomits over the soup. It is green in color and contains bits of wood, cloth, and glass. The ninth step in the process is the biggest step out of the whole journey. It focuses on “time in the belly of the beast,” also known as the camp atrocities. This step gives readers a glimpse into the horrors of the camp. It often features acts of violence (towards the survivor/main character, his or her family members, and random prisoners) and illness (affecting the same groups of people. The majority of Elie Wiesel’s book revolves around this step. The first horror that he reveals occurs when he lies to a family member. Wiesel lied to a family member who found him in the camps. The man, a cousin, had heard that the Wiesels of Sighet were in the camps. He wanted to receive news on the wife and two young sons he had left behind. Elie Strawser 128 Wiesel had not heard from the man’s immediate family in two years but he proclaimed that they were fine. The cousin was so overjoyed he cried and gave them half of his bread. Wiesel reveals in the next passage the heartbreaking consequence of telling the lie, “’The only thing that keeps me alive,’ he kept saying, ‘is to know that Reizel and the little ones are still alive. Were it not for them, I would give up.’ One evening, he came to see us, his face radiant. ‘A transport just arrived from Antwerp…Surely they will have news…’ He left. We never saw him again. He had been given the news. The real news” (45). Wiesel includes this instance to show that what maybe would seem like a small lie in peaceful times, simply saying one had heard from distant family members, became an earth shattering lie in the Holocaust. Elie Wiesel’s cousin was already near death when he was told this lie; he was mere skin and bones. Although his fate his unknown, Wiesel’s comment of never seeing the man again after the truth was found out leads readers to believe that the man simply gave up and was gassed and/or burnt in the crematoria. Wiesel mentions the physical abuse both he and his father faced in the camps. The abuse acts as a fifth horrific example found in Night. He mentions, often in passing, short instances where either he or his father received beatings at random and without reason. One episode he does elaborate on is when he was lashed several times for accidently witnessing an official in the throes of passion with a young Polish girl. Wiesel relives his punishment with the lines, Twenty four….twenty five’ I had not realized it but I had fainted… Then I heard someone yell ‘Stand up!’ I felt myself fall back on the crate. How I wanted to get up! At Idek’s command, two inmates lifted me and led me to him… ‘Listen to me, you son of a swine…So much for your curiosity. You shall receive five times more if you dare Strawser 129 tell anyone what you saw! Understood?’ I nodded, once, ten times, endlessly. As if my head had decided to say yes for all eternity (58). This beating nearly killed Wiesel. He was left badly injured and mostly unconscious. His beating however was not uncommon. It was a punishment used for many prisoners and although, painful for readers to read it serves its purpose as a warning of what could come from another event of this caliber occurring. Wiesel mentions two hangings in his autobiography. The first was of a young prisoner who had stolen something (Wiesel does not mention what) during an air raid. Wiesel mentions that this boy’s murder troubled him at a time when he watched millions of Jews go to the crematoria daily. He describes the first hanging with the lines, “Caps off!’ Ten thousand prisoners paid their respects. ‘Cover your heads!’ Then the entire camp… filed past the hanged boy and stared at his extinguished eyes, the tongue hanging from his gaping mouth. The Kapos forced everyone to look him squarely in the face” (65). Wiesel also mentions, in a moment of dramatic impact that the soup he ate after the first hanging tasted better than ever. This seems like an odd sentiment to add but the meaning becomes clearer when Wiesel explains his feelings regarding the second hanging. The second instance he mentions focuses on the hanging of a young boy called a pipel. The pipel, according to Wiesel, had an angelic face and was loved by all. The horrific part of the story comes when the chair holding the young boy is kicked from beneath him; Then came the march past the victims. The two men were no longer alive. Their tongues were hanging out, swollen and bluish. But the third rope was still moving: the child, too light, was still breathing…And so he remained for more than half an hour, Strawser 130 lingering between life and death…He was still alive when I passed him. His tongue as still red, his eyes not yet extinguished (65). After this hanging, Wiesel mentions that the soup served that night tasted like corpses. The soup clearly is symbolic for his emotions. He was distraught over the first hanging, but it was merely an example of everyday life around the camps. Thus the soup that evening tasted great. The death of the pipel deeply disturbed Wiesel and thus the soup symbolically tasted of corpses that night to represent an extremely cruel death. Elie Wiesel includes a memory of sickening irony to shock readers. He had to undergo a foot operation while in the camps. While still in the prisoner hospital, Wiesel heard a rumor that any prisoner left in the building would be burnt. Wiesel and his father decided to be evacuated with the other prisoners. He includes their conversation on page eighty-two with the lines, ‘“Well father, what will we do?’ He was silent. ‘Let’s be evacuated with the others,’ I said… [His father replied] ‘Let’s hope we don’t regret it, Eliezer.’ After the war, I learned the fate of those who had remained at the infirmary. They were, quite simply, liberated by the Russians, two days after the evacuation.” These lines illustrate the uncertainty of the Holocaust. The two male Wiesels did not know which option would insure their livelihood. The main goal of most prisoners was to stay alive. The Wiesels were forced to make a tough decision. The decision cost Elie Wiesel’s father his life. Prisoners were forced into making life altering decisions like that every day, often the outcomes where horrible; resulting in punishment or death like the outcome of the Wiesel’s choice. Livia Bitton-Jackson also discusses the atrocities that she faced in the camps. She discusses a riot that occurs the first night she is in the camps. In horror, she listens to the sounds of a riot outside of the building she is in. her clothes are torn in all of the madness, and she Strawser 131 witnesses her first major act of violence. A young girl had been separated from her mother and she began crying out, convinced her mother was in the riot being killed. Due to her shouting, she is take outside and shot. The next terrifying instance happens when she is eating soup with her mother. Young Bitton-Jackson believes she and her mother are about to partake in a meal of “pottage” which is cabbage soup with grain. Instead, the grain turns out to be worms. She begins screaming and cautioning her mother, “’Mommy, there’s a worm on your spoon! Look, Mommy, there are hundreds of worms in your bowl! And in mine!” (Bitton-Jackson 102). Instead of being alarmed and taking notice of the soup, her mother sharply reprimands her for distracting her from the soup and continues to eagerly lap it up. Shortly after the soup incident, Bitton-Jackson mentions that she is overcome with illness when a diarrhea epidemic sweeps their camp. Wracked with violent stomach cramps, she must continue working her twelve hour shift. One day while working, a storm blows in and heavy rain cascades down over the working women; they all run for cover. Unfortunately, they hide just as an upper ranked commander comes to check on their work progress. The women are charged with sabotage. Bitton-Jackson is convinced that as punishment, they will suffer the “rule of ten.” With the rule of ten, “The inmates of the guilty unit would be lined up at dawn, face a firing squad, and every tenth by an SS officer’s count would be shot…Sometimes they began counting in the middle of the row. Sometimes at one end, then switch directions. You never knew if you would be the tenth” (Bitton-Jackson 109). The two most terrifying occurrences of Bitton-Jackson’s story occur later on in her times at the camps. The first occurs when a barrack bed breaks on top of her and her mother. Her mother lies sick under a set of beds that are buckling under the weight of many women. Her mother is unresponsive, but Bitton-Jackson attempts to ask for help in freeing her. She is Strawser 132 smacked by the block commander and told to go back to her bed. Eventually the bed breaks; Bitton-Jackson is struck in the head by a wood board which she quickly removes. Her mother, however, is not as fortunate: I see Mommy pinned under a huge pile of wood in a most peculiar position. She is lying on her back but her head is bent forward in such a way that her face stares at me in a vertical pose. It is terrifying. Her eyes are wide open but she does not seem to see me. She keeps emitting that eerie, high-pitched wail: ‘Yaaaay….yaaaaaay…’ With the help of Mrs. Grunwald, and her daughter Ilse, I lift the plank that presses Mommy’s head against her chest, and start to pull her out by the legs. ‘Leave that white thing alone, and help me’ Mommy cries. ‘What’s that white thing you’re pulling there?’ I am in shock. ‘Mommy, it’s your leg. I’m pulling you out by your leg. Mommy don’t you feel it?’ Mommy does not answer…[after receiving help from a doctor] The doctor’s face is grim as she pokes the soles of Mommy’s feet with a needle, and the lifeless body does not stir. She [the doctor] puts her arms around my shoulders. ‘You’re a big girl now. You’ll understand. There is no sensation in your mother’s body. She’s unconscious and totally paralyzed. I think her spinal column is broken” (Bitton-Jackson 126-127). Bitton-Jackson’s mother is expected to die. However, after being taken to the infirmary, she begins to recover. In an odd twist of events, she is smuggled out of the hospital to avoid being selected to die in the gas chambers and she actually is not selected to die when the normal camp is looked over. Due to a large blister on her leg, Bitton-Jackson is selected to be gassed and burned. Luckily she manages to escape and goes back with her mother. Strawser 133 The second awful occurrence happens towards the end of her story. She, along with her mother and her newly found brother, are traveling by boxcar to a new camp. They are surprised when it is announced that the train is stopping so that the Red Cross can distribute warm, thick soup. As shots are fired out, it becomes apparent that the act was a ruse. Bitton-Jackson’s brother is wounded (however, not mortally) by a shot to the head. All around her in victims fall to the ground. The shoots occur again while they are outside of the train car. Then the injured prisoners race back into the cattle car. Bitton-Jackson describes the wounds around her. Two out of three sisters she knew were killed. One was killed by taking a bullet to the back during the intial shooting. The younger sister was killed by a shot to the neck while under the train. The remaining sister breaks down into hysterics because she, “the cripple,” survived the attack. Other injuries include a girl whose leg remains attached by only a tiny piece of skin and is exposed at the bone, a girl who gasps for air from being shot in the lungs, a girl who complains of a headache not realizing she has lost one eye, and a girl who stares back at Bitton-Jackson through two empty eye sockets. Bitton-Jackson is not surprised to find that all of the injured, with the exception of her brother have died by the next morning. The tenth step is the resolution. With this step, the last camp atrocities are committed, the last chance to survive—or not—occurs, the survivors find out what has happened to their families, and they are able to escape the camps and start to continue normal life. In Night, Wiesel ends the book describing his journey with his father. The pair ran hundreds of miles under the instruction of guards. It was due to the snowy conditions they ran in that his father fell ill. His father succumbed to his illness right before the camp was liberated. This final heartbreaking memory is described by Wiesel with lines found on page 112, “I woke up at dawn on January 29. On my father’s cot there lay another sick person. They must have taken him away Strawser 134 before daybreak and taken him to the crematorium. Perhaps he was still breathing…” Wiesel then describes that he could not cry for his father because his tears had ran out. Throughout the novel, Wiesel makes a point to mention his deep connection with his father. The fact that he physically cannot cry after the passing of his companion highlights the extent of Wiesel’s broken spirit. Wiesel’s book ends with him finding out that along with his father dying, his mother, and young sister Tzipporah died the night of their arrival. His two older sisters survived the camps. Never regaining his diligent faith, Wiesel went on to marry, have a family, become very educated, and write two other books about life after the Holocaust. Livia Bitton -Jackson’s story ends with her returning with her mother and brother back to their home; they found out shortly thereafter that their aunt Serena had died the night Dr. Mengele sent her to the right side of the line. She was gassed and burnt in the crematoria. Also, Bitton-Jackson’s “daddy” as she so lovingly called him died the previous April in the BergenBelsen concentration camp. He died of illness and malnutrition. Also, various other family members including grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins perished in the camps. Along with the pattern, it is important for the fictional writers to research in-depth into the Holocaust. From the characters’ names and meanings, to the ghetto the family was sent to, to the camp the characters are sent to, every detail must be researched to promote the believable aspect. Gasiorek reminds in his article that authors must ask, “What effect might these circumstances have on the development of a character's sense of self? How might such a character engage with his experience of the present in light of his awareness of the past?” Authors can ask these two questions in regards to the Holocaust Journal and the believability of the plot line. Strawser 135 Something else that fiction can and should do that non-fiction cannot do is expose parts of camp life that may be taboo. It was released a few years ago that brothels existed in the concentration camps. The brothels were the brainchild of Henrich Himmler who was a high ranking man with Hitler. Himmler believed that allowing Jewish males to partake in sex with prostitutes would eliminate, discourage, and perhaps even cure homosexuality. This special block found in Ravensbruck and Aushwitz I and III had been kept a secret for years because so many people were ashamed. The women were ashamed about being prostitutes, even though many were forced or coered with promises of realease. The men who paid the small amounts to receive the service were ashamed for having done so even though most simply craved human contact. The special blocks are just one example of an area that may be kept secret by survivors, but a writer could send a fictional character into this situation. Fiction is important for that very reason. Readers often do not read actual accounts about the Holocaust or any other tragedy in fear of not being able to stomach the reality of the issue. Although this may be the point of the non-fictional accounts, many readers can accept reading about a fictional character. Readers know that the main and supporting characters are fictional and can accept what they may be going through. Due to this, fictional accounts offer a glance of the Holocaust in a way that still offers the warning message that many non-fictional accounts do in an easier to read manner. A final reason that fiction is important is because many people believe survivor accounts to be fictionalized at some point. Ellie Wiesel’s Night is a wonderful example of this. His book came into popularity after it was picked up by Oprah for her book club. Previously, her club had featured many works of fiction so viewers and readers expected Wiesel’s account to be false. Oprah and Wiesel traveled to Aushwitz together so he could reaccount his story, but still some Strawser 136 elements, such as the lack of mention of the older sisters, the story of the son who trampled his father, and other instances make readers question how much is real and how much is added fluff. Fiction cuts out the middle man and allows for a straight, known to be fiction based plotline. Readers who realize the pattern known as the Holocaust Journey in non-fictional accounts may be questioning why the pattern is important. Not only does it provide a solid foundation to illustrate what most of the Jewish people who survived the camps went through, but through it, fictional accounts can be written in a believable, respectful manner. Fiction can be just as believable as Elie Wiesel’s Night and Livia Bitton-Jackson’s I Have Lived A Thousand Years: Growing Up In The Holocaust because it follows patterns similar to that of the actual survivors. Due to this pattern both Jewish and non-Jewish people who did not go through the Holocaust but who care deeply about it and wish to prevent another genocide of that caliber are able to write believable fiction. That being said, please read on to experience my creative piece “To Bare Witness” written based on actual events and following the Holocaust Journey pattern. Strawser 137 Works Cited Bitton-Jackson, Olivia. I Have Lived A Thousand Years: Growing Up In The Holocaust. New York. Simon Pulse (Publisher). 1997. Gąsiorek, Andrzej. "Michael Chabon, Howard Jacobson, And Post-Holocaust Fiction." Contemporary Literature 53.4 (2012): 875-903. MLA International Bibliography. Web. 10 Dec. 2013. Wiesel, Elie. Night: Twenty- Fifth Anniversary Edition. New York. Bantam Books, 1960. Strawser 138 To Bear Witness Literature and Writing Seminar (Capstone) Senior Project Part II: Creative Dr. Heather Duda/Dr. April Julier 10 December 2013 Strawser 139 Characters’ Names and Meanings Note: I included this list of names not only to show the extent of research I did to provide my characters with meaningful names but also because I always appreciate when an author includes any type of accompanying materials. Every character has a middle name because I have had a theory my entire life that I do not truly know a person unless I know that person’s middle name. I hope as I further expand this short story I can get to know my characters even better. The Beem Family—The Beem was chosen in memory of two young Holocaust victims I read about. Zayde Calev Shay Beem- When I did research into Jewish words for grandfather, I favored “Zayde.” Calev (notice it is not Caleb—many Jewish names trade the “b” for a “v” which I prefer) means “like a heart” and Shay means “gift.” Zayde Calev is a kind, sweet man and is a gift to not only his family, but to all he meets. Bubbe Esther Emuna Beem- As with Zayde, “Bubbe” is a personal preference for the word grandmother. Esther means “hidden” which is set in contrast to how she really is—she never hides her religion. Emuna means “faithful,” and Bubbe Esther is faithful to every aspect of her life from her marriage to her family to her religion. When adding the “B” from Bubbe, her initials spell out B.E.E.M. Ephraim Avraham Beem- As the father of many, his name is related to fertility: Ephraim means “fruitful,” and Avraham means “father of Jewish people.” Hannah Efrat Beem- As the deceased first wife of Ephraim, her name means “grace” and “honored,” which she is by both her daughters and her husband. Strawser 140 Chana Idit Beem- Set in opposition to Hannah, Chana also means “grace.” Idit means “chociest” and the girls’ step-mom is very particular. Dov Beryl Beem- Both of the eldest son’s names mean “bear” because he is described as looking like a bear and acting like one in his protectiveness over his family. Moriah Liat Beem- Dov’s wife has a name that means “God teaches.” As a woman strong in her faith, Moriah always remembers this sentiment. Liat means “I love you;” the love between the young couple is strong. Alter Reuven Beem- Alter means “old” and is often a name given to sickly baby boys (like him) to promote living to a healthy old age. Reuven means “behold a son,” which fits because he is Dov and Moriah’s firstborn son. Velvel Aryeh Beem- This second son is fierce so his name means “wolf lion.” Avigail Hadar Beem- As the first daughter, Avigail means “father’s joy” because her father was joyous about her birth after having two sons. Her middle name means “splendid” and “beautiful,” two characteristics that prove to be interesting for her to manage in the camp. Ariella Eden Beem- Ariella may not always be fierce like Avigail, but she is strong, thus her name means “Lioness of God.” Eden comes from the Garden of Eden which is known for its beauty and the incident of the “one forbidden thing.” Ariella is the “one forbidden thing” during much of the duration of her friendship with Zacc. Levi Barak Beem- Levi means “one who accompanies” and was chosen because he accompanies his father into his new life. Barak means “lightning,” which is fitting because Levi’s temper is like lightning hot and at times, unpredictable. Strawser 141 Sarai Zahava Beem- As the cherished first child of Ephraim and Chana, her name means “my princess,” and “gold,” two things she is treated like. Lior Chaviva Beem- Her name is directly related to her relationship with Ariella. Lior means “I have light;” she is the light in Ariella’s life and “beloved” because she is Ari’s beloved, cherished sister. Rachel Aliza Beem- Rachael means “female sheep,” which is fitting because she is a sheepish young lady. Her middle name means “joy,” which matches her twin’s middle name. Rebkah Gila Beem- As the louder of the two her name means “captivating.” To match her twin’s her middle name means “joy.” Bayla Keshet Beem- To match this little one’s personality and looks, her name means “beautiful rainbow.” Fivel Chasdiel Beem- as one of the babies of the family, his first name means “nursing.” As the first boy of Ephraim and Chana, his middle name means “My God is gracious,” gracious because they finally had a son. Kelila Adi Beem- Chana feared that she could no longer have children so she named her youngest after something precious, “crown jewel.” Mordechai (Motty) Naftali Beem- Rough and rebellious, his name means “warrior” and “to wrestle.” Miriam Noa Beem- Known for being weaker and bitter, her name means “bitter sea,” and “tremble/shake.” Strawser 142 Devorah Chagit Beem- A miniature version of her mother, her name is ironic because it means “to speak kind words” which she rarely does, and “festive.” Leah Dinah Beem- Leah means “I am tired” because she is tired in the camps and “judgment” because she faces judgment because she goes to the special block. The Mermelstien Family Also a surname taken in memory Abba Chanoch Mermelstien- As father of two, it is fitting that his first name means “father.” He is educated which is what his middle name means. Naomi Leeba Mermelstien- As Zacc’s wonderful mother her name means “peaceful beloved.” Zacchaeus Yael Mermelstien- As Ariella’s sweet love interest, his first name means “pure.” His middle name means, “God is willing,” because the couple believes they will be together because God is willing. Tzipporah Erela Mermelstien- Named in memory of Ellie Wiesel’s little sister, her first name means “bird.” A middle name was chose that means “angel” due to her angelic personality. Other names (to not give away elements of plot, only the names and vauge meanings will be listed) Asher Tanchum Stilten- “Blessed, consolation” Eliana Orli- “God has answered me, I have light.” Shoshana Shira- “Rose song” Annalise Marie - Named for Annalise Marie Frank Strawser 143 Mendel P. Chaskell-“comfortable” To Bear Witness Ariella The clanging, rattling, bouncing of the cramped cattle car was somehow lulling me into a dreamy, drowsy state. The smell of the transport—the smell of sickness, of natural odors, and that horrible, horrible smell of death was enough to keep me awake. The sounds—the nervous Strawser 144 chattering, the anxious gasps to evade suffocation, and the whimpering cries within the chaos were enough to make one’s sanity slip. However, somehow within the chaos, I found a sliver of peace. I am unsure what caused the tiny warm feeling of peace to wash over me, especially when my life was going to Hell—literally. My family, we had heard rumors, had heard warnings, and we chose to ignore them. As the train bore us on into the unknown, we all were questioning why: Why was this happening to us? What did we do? Our only mortal sin was said to be our religion. I am a proud Jewish woman. My family, my friends, our neighbors—we were all proud Jews. So why were we being punished? I pondered these questions as I began to let the exhaustion overtake me. The nervous, scared energy I was running on was melting away. Even though I was tired, I was unable to sit down due to the cramped conditions in the cattle car. Those next to me, however, helped to calm me. I could feel Zaccheous’ presence behind me. In the pitch dark of the train—because he knew my father could not see us—he had softly snaked his arms around my waist and was gently kissing along the nape of my neck. Lior was standing to my right, fitfully asleep but holding my hand. I shifted to lean her against me and she finally relaxed. With my beloved sister finally relaxed, I began to relax too. When I awoke with a start hours later, I realized I had cried out in my sleep. I also realized that Zacc was softly whispering reassurances and soft words of love into my ear in hopes of calming me down once more. No reassurances could be offered. Not anymore at least. Morning was dawning and cracks of light were slowly peeking through the slits in the boards. I Strawser 145 began to once more taking in my surroundings and those within them. Of the seventy-five people jammed into this cattle car, my family made up a large majority of the occupants. I have a large family—the largest in our small village. I began to look at my family members one by one trying to memorize their features, lest they be taken away from me soon. I quickly pushed that thought out my head. Now was not the time to focus on the unknown. Instead I would focus on what I had focused on my entire life. My family. By the door of the car, huddled together stood my grandparents. Papa’s mother and father were revered to be the best candy makers in town. I thought of them as the best grandparents in any town, anywhere. They were the only grandparents I had known Zayde Calev was handsome, even at sixty-five. Ever the businessman, he had made sure to wear one of his finest outfits when we were forced out of our large farmhouse. My brother Levi, ever the questioner, angrily asked Zayde why he had “dressed up for the Nazis.” Taking a moment to stop emitting the sweet vanilla smoke from his pipe to simply say, “It does not matter how I look on the outside Levi, it only matters that I am pure and full of heart on the inside.” Levi had stormed away in a huff, in classic Levi fashion. Oh, Levi. My handsome young brother. At fifteen, he was the baby of the children Mama and Papa had together. Levi had always blamed himself for the death of Mama. She died hours after his birth. Papa says that when he last saw Mama, pale as a porcelain doll from the blood loss and so weak she could barely whisper, the last question she asked as he held her hand was about her newborn son. “What will you call him?” she whispered to Papa. “We shall call him anything you want my love,” Papa wept. Strawser 146 “Call him Levi. It means, “I accompany,” he will accompany you into this new life Ephraim—this new life without me. Take care of our babies and find love again. I love you.” With those final words, she let out her last breath. I had asked Papa several times what her last words were. I had loved Mama so much. Levi was perched close by Zayde but between them was my Bubbe Esther. Bubbe and I had a special, unbreakable connection. Only four when my mother died, I was lost. Gone was the soft, loving woman who would do housework all day, cook my father a large supper, and still have time to play dolls with my sister and me. Bubbe did not fill the void my mother left—and did not try to. She simply formed an amazing relationship with me. Bubbe would bring me into the small house she and Zayde shared by our large farmhouse. After braiding my long, dark tresses and pinning in a giant bow, just like Mama used to, Bubbe and I would begin making candy for the store. Even at such a young age, I would help her as much as I could. I would shake with excitement knowing that there was taffy to pulled, and due to the bakery case in the store, pastries to make. Bubbe did not seem to mind my little hands taking extra time to roll out the dough. She simply looked at me with her tree bark colored eyes and smiled. As I looked at her in the light of the morning, her face held the wrinkles of smiles past. Her grey hair was messy, pulled back into a bun and wrapped with a kerchief that matched her apron. She had an angelic look about her but I felt concerned because she looked very sad even in her sleep. I began to wonder if I would ever see her wonderful smile again. My father and his second wife were next to Levi, who was already awake and brooding. Ephraim Beem was a leader in our community. Sitting on the local Judernrat, or Jewish Council, he was very wise. So wise, in fact, that our farmhouse was often full of people from the Strawser 147 community seeking his advice, especially other farmers who came to discuss crops and livestock. My father was kind to and patient with these people; always taking time away from his busy schedule to talk to them. Between farming, occasionally helping at the candy store, attending synogauge, sitting on the Judenrat, and being a successful husband and father, I do not know how he did it. Yet at night, after coming from my grandparents’ I would often walk in the house and see him hanging up his work coat, preparing for dinner. He would run his hands through his dark hair and once seated, would make conversation flow around the table, asking each child how his or her day went. Papa—whose name means “fruitful” acted as the strong trunk of our family. Many times before this transportation the other limbs of our family tree would falter and Papa, our strong trunk, would hold us together. My small step-mother was tucked in beside Papa. Chana, whose name was strangley close to my mother’s name and I had a strained relationship at best. She had a strained relationship with most of my Papa’s older children. Chana and Papa were married less than a month after Mama died. It was a marriage of convenience. I know and understand that now. Papa was a thirty-three year old widower left with five children including a new baby. Chana was a widow herself. At just twenty years old, her father had arranged a marriage for her. He married her off to a wealthy friend of his who was twenty-five years her senior—she was only eighteen at the time. I am not sure what happened within their marriage but she came to my father a broken woman. Her husband had died of a heart attack a year before and had left her pregnant. Their son was born around the same time as Levi but was stillborn. Chana fled her hometown and her old life after burying her firstborn. She arrived at the family farm and asked my father if he needed a nanny for his children. Although he missed my mother deeply, he did something he thought was Strawser 148 better than hiring her as a nanny. He brought Chana into his house and into his bed as his new wife and our new mother. Chana tried to bond with all of us at first. I however was more interested in spending time with Bubbe. I was particularly upset one day while I was playing hide and seek with my sister. I decided to hide behind the rocking chair in the nursery. To my surprise, I found Chana cradling Levi. Not only was she holding him, but she was also nursing him. I backed out of the room. Mama was supposed to be doing that. Not this strange, small blonde woman. I was young, but my heart turned cold towards this woman. Bubbe later explained that baby Levi needed milk to stay healthy and Papa had encouraged it, hoping his young son would help Chana accept the loss of her own baby. Things worsened between Chana and me as I grew into womanhood. Full of emotion, we rarely shared a kind word. Even now, I felt a frown pass over my face as I looked at her blonde locks gleaming in the dawn her body still slightly swollen from the birth of her most recent baby. My family was separated by a few other villagers but the next family member my eyes found was my brother’s wife Moriah. The poor dear; she was gagging and retching. Several months pregnant with her second child, she was already showing and the little one was making his or her presence known through terrible all day sickness. My beautiful sister-in-law who kept her blue-black ringlets pinned up with a comb was ghastly pale and muttering a prayer. I have seen my fair share of babies be born throughout the years. Most recently, I helped prepare the hot water for the delivery of my newest sibling. Kelila Adi, whose name literally means “crown jewel,” was not a planned baby. Chana thought she could no longer have children and was surprised to be expecting. As much as I disliked Chana I must say she and Papa made Strawser 149 beautiful babies. Kelila was no exception. A shock of blonde hair, perfect rosebud lips, and stormy grey eyes made her lovely. For her safety, Chana and Papa decided to allow the tiny six week old to be smuggled out to go live with their Christian friend Miep. Miep had told everyone that she and her husband had inherited their nieces because my other younger sister, Bayla was smuggled out too. I hoped our hidden treasures were being well taken care of. Chana cried every night for her children—those smuggled, dead, or living in this hell. It was comforting to see Moriah knowing a new baby would join us soon, wherever we ended up. Our eyes met and Moriah offered me a half smile in between gags. I smiled but sighed inwardly. Even though this was not the time to be thinking of the future, I envied her. We were both nineteen, yet she was already married with children. Speaking of her marriage, my big, burly bear of a brother Dov, the eldest, was pressed in next to his wife. He was holding their three year-old son Alter. Alter had always been a sickly child and emitted a loud cough from my brother’s arms. Dov was only a bear in appearance, however for he was absolutely sweet in personality. He rubbed his young son on the back and pressed his tiny face into the cracks in the boards hoping his tiny, fragile lungs would fill with the small bursts of fresh air rather than the putrid car air. It was surprising that Alter survived the two years in the ghetto when so many other children had died, but somehow he held on. A tangle of my younger siblings slept in a pile at Dov and Moriah;s feet. Lucky to be small like their mother, they snuggled together. Three of them were piled up sleeping: Sarai, the oldest of Papa and Chana’s children at thirteen was the tallest in the pile. Living up to her name meaning “my princess,” Sarai was spoiled. She was pampered from birth; blessed with Papa’s good looks she looked like an angel even if she acted the total opposite. Her childhood mischievousness was being replaced with teenage haughtiness. I felt bad for Sarai; today was her Strawser 150 thirteenth birthday. Most non-Jewish girls her age would be receiving some small gifts from their family and friends. Jewish Sarai Beem was receiving the ominous present of uncertainty of the unknown from the Nazis. Learning on her were the twins, Rachael and Rebekah who were eight years old. Identical from head to toe, from their babyhood on the only distinguisher was their differences in dress colors. Rachael always donned light blue while Rebekah wore dark lavender. Alike in looks, their personalities differed. Rachael was quit and sheepish while Rebekah was loud and excited. Zacchious Mermelstien, the love of my life was standing behind me. He and I had a long history together. Friends first, we went to school together. We grew apart as we became sweet on other people. However, our families were forced to share two rooms while in the ghetto. He and I grew closer during our time in the ghetto. He had even asked Papa for my hand in marriage. My hand bore a tiny golden band and my heart bore his love. As I looked at him, he looked peaceful. Broad shouldered but not chubby, he was muscular and handsome. Light brown hair laid a thick rug on his head. Surprisingly, he had a light red beard. I teased him frequently about his beard, but secretly found it to be very attractive. He was everything I wanted in a man: sweet, kind, and an amazing listener. My best friend. I could not wait until we could marry under a canopy, watched by family and friends. I could not wait to see him stomp on the cloth covered glass while a group of our families and friends shouted “Shalom!” It was wonderful to have that dream during this nightmare. The second to last of my siblings by Chana and Papa was my favorite. Perhaps it is bad to have a favorite but Lior was. Barely twelve, she was a surprise after the Sarai much like I was a surprise after my older sister. Despite having different mothers, Lior was a miniature version of Strawser 151 me. Her long, dark, curly hair was pinned back by a maroon colored bow. Sweet as honey, I had mothered her since birth. We had a special closeness. Chana actually supported this; glad I liked one of her babies—finally. The last member of my family in the cattle car was the feistiest: twenty-year-old Avigail. Avigail As I was being jostled and jarred from the cramped, disgusting cattle car, I began to think of my life, of my family’s life before the Nazis decided that Jewish people were the root of all evil. No longer a teenager, I was being thrust into the adult world. My step-mother and Bubbe both decided it was high time that I found a respectable man to marry or Papa would be finding one for me. I was aching for more than a marriage to someone I barely knew. I wanted to leave my big family. I wanted to get out on my own. I wanted to travel. I was not like Ariella. I loved my sister, but we were not the least bit the same. Even though we were only separated in age by a few months—fifteen to be exact—our personalities were separated by kilometers. Ariella loved practicing her future mothering skills on our siblings. I could not handle most of them, the constant whining, crying, even laughing; they were never still. The only little one I could handle was Bayla. Bayla was charming and funny, to be only four-years-old. My arms ached for her. Infuriated that we had to be separated, I bit my lower lip in anger to hold back tears I refused to let spill, stopping only when I tasted blood. My rage was as red as my bloody lip so I decided to think about Bayla as a baby in an attempt to calm down. As a newborn she was filled with colic. Fussy and fickle, her crying bothered my studies. One night I entered the nursery to find Chana in tears. Bayla was a few months old and had been crying all night. It was winter and the other children were sick with colds. Pushed to her limit, Strawser 152 Chana begged me to take the baby. Not the mothering type, I refused. She quickly thrust the baby in my arms and left down the hall towards the sick room. Then something amazing happened. Bayla stopped crying. She had cried for five months straight. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and I witnessed her first smile. We were inseparable from that point on until recently when a safe spot was available. I was studying to be a nurse and most nights Bayla would curl up in my lap in the room I shared with Ariella. “Bay help Avi,” she would squeak out in her little mouse voice. I would study a few more hours while she laughed quietly to her teddy bear. At a late hour we would finally crawl into my bed together, snuggling, our blonde curls mixed together in slumber. Our lives, as a whole, were idyllic before the changes began. Zayde and Bubbe would wake up early and leave their small home to go to the shop. Ariella would begin waking the children to allow Chana, who was usually with child, a few more moments to sleep. Dov would arrive from his house next door to help Papa in the fields. The men went to tend to the crops and livestock, Ariella walked the children to school, and I headed to nursing school. Ariella would then go work in the bakery. We broke bread every night around the dinner table. We had a perfect life, a perfect family, but I foolishly wanted more. Now more than ever I wanted it all back. The changes were minimal at first. Simple changes had a big impact on a large family. The first rule passed in our small town was that no Jews could be found out on the city streets past six p.m. Our family store normally closed at six and was right in the city. We were slightly confused by the new rule, but we just shook our heads in confusion and changed the times of the store. Ariella whispered to me from her side of our bedroom that after a few weeks after the laws Strawser 153 changed, the store really took a hit. I was confused as to why until she explained people would stop in for sweets after work or desserts after a dinner out. But the rules didn’t stop there: before we knew it we were being forced to turn in our valuables and sew Stars of David onto our garments. Everyone had to quit school as well. I left nursing school and was so angry I spat on the ground in disgust. The tears were tears of anger and confusion. Why was this happening to me? Just because I was Jewish? The evening worsened as I came home to find Chana and Bubbe sewing the stars into our clothing. Ariella arrived home at the same time and began to question the sewing. Chana who was eight months pregnant at the time snapped at us that, “those were the rules now. Like it or not.” She then shooed us off to the kitchen to make dinner. “Avi,” Ariella whispered “What is happening?” I looked up from the hen I was preparing, “Ari, I am really not sure. I noticed something though.” I paused; I could tell Ariella was upset. We only called each other by the pet names our mother gave us when something was wrong. “I did too,” she said, brown eyes glistening with tears. “Neither Chana nor Bubbe were wearing their wedding diamonds.” The agreeing comment I was going to say died in my throat as Bayla toddled in. Her tiny arms were outstretched for a hug. I cleaned up quickly and cuddled her into my arms. At dinner Papa added more salt to the wound. He explained that the first thing in the morning we would be required to turn in our valuables. The whole table broke into chatter until Papa put up his hand to call for silence. He apologized to his children but stated that we had no choice. We would give up our valuables or be put in jail. Everyone had to give up their wedding Strawser 154 bands. Moriah instantly tensed up at this. Papa dismissed us from the table to go to our rooms and bring down anything worth a large sum of money. Ariella and I headed upstairs. We quickly rummaged through our jewelry boxes. We were not a wealthy family by any means. However, these boxes held our lives’ savings. Money we had been saving up. Ariella for her dowry, me for a trip to America, and jewelry we had collected through the years –a pearl necklace Bubbe had given Ariella on her birthday, a emerald ring I had received from Bubbe on mine, and various brooches and hairclips found their ways out of the boxes into a small pile. I paused when I came to the one item I could not part with. Mama had given Ariella and me a locket on our first birthdays. Color wise, Ariella’s was a shiny gold, while mine was sparkling silver. After Mama had died, Papa placed her picture in each locket. My hand floated over the locket, a pale butterfly deciding where to land. I grabbed the heart shaped jewelry and flipped it open. An older version of my face stared back at me. The photograph was of Mama on her wedding day. She looked how I imagine angel looks. She was dressed in a simple white gown. It had a high collar and was covered in lace. A simple veil was pinned to her mounds of spiral blonde curls. She had a sweet smile on her face. The look in her eyes was that of pure love and excitement. “I-I can’t Ari-I can’t give Mama’s locket to them” I whispered. For once the normally chatty Ariella simply, wordlessly shook her head in agreement. Coming back into the sitting room, I noticed the somber faces of my siblings. Zayde Calev started the pile by laying down his pocket watch. Given to him by great-grandfather Beem, I knew how hard it must be for him to give it up. Bubbe added her already removed wedding band and a brooch. Before long, the table was piled with rings, watches, jewelry, even a couple Strawser 155 of bicycles had been said to be waiting outside. Sensing the mood the younger children were crying without realizing why. “I am sorry,” Papa said softly. “You may all go to bed now.” I turned to go prepare Bayla for bed. “Wait,” said Chana “What about the girls’ lockets?” I was stunned she had even mentioned them. “Ephraim, if we don’t hand over enough you will be put in jail.” “No” cried Ariella. “We won’t give them Mama’s lockets,” I said “they were her gifts to us.” Resignation passed into Papa’s eyes. I trembled, silently begging but knowing he would agree with his young wife once more. “Avi, Ari, Chana is right. Mama would understand. Think of the children and what would happen if I was jailed.” We knew then that the discussion was over. I turned to Ariella. She was pale as a ghost, her large eyes spilling tears. Chana was smugly giving us a look of triumph. We turned to collect the lockets from our rooms. I began to wonder who the true enemy was. A month later, we were shocked. Chana found it was time to deliver her baby. Upon arriving at the hospital, and showing her identification however, she was turned away. The head nurse informed her she could go have the baby in the gutter like all the rats do. Even though it was to be her fifth baby, the birth was not an easy one. Luckily my Tanta Miriam was a midwife. She rushed over from town. Her daughters, Devorah and Leah came to assist her. At sixteen and Strawser 156 fourteen at the time, I was surprised they were able to attend a birth. I could not handle the screams. However, downstairs was not much better. “I am telling you Ephraim all the signs are clear. We must leave. Do you remember Mendel Chasken? Our best friend from when we were boys? He sent me a post from a hospital. He was barely alive. His town had been raided. All of the Jews had been lined up. They had been shot over large pits. Mendel had watched his wife and two sons be shot. He was shot in the shoulder and was luckily or unluckily at the top of the pile. He was still breathing and able to move when the soldiers left to dig more holes further up the road. His town is mere kilometers from here Ephraim. They’re coming for us next I am telling you. We must flee before it is too late – we must hide.” “Where would we go brother?” asked Papa. I could hear the puzzled tone of his voice. “Borders are closed down. Besides that my family is too large. Not to mention with a new baby and my eldest son’s wife is expecting again, it won’t work.” “It must Ephram it must work. You serve on the council. You know how unstable things are. Think of the children, think of the new baby being born upstairs. Don’t you want to see it grow up? Or would you rather see it laying dead in a pit somewhere.” “I will ask you to keep your voice down Mordechai” father said angrily. Chana is under enough stress as is and I do not want the little ears to hear.” Little ear—hmpf—my adult ears did not appreciate hearing these comments either. I went to the nursery, grabbed Baylor and placed her in the pram for a walk. She was still tiny for a two year old and stared up at me sleepily. I was angry – angry at my father for not believing his own brother. Angry at my step-mother for the lockets and for bringing a new life into this crazy Strawser 157 world. Angry at myself for being Jewish. Angry at the Nazis for thinking we were nothing but rats. However, to keep calm I began singing hymns to Bayla. Oh to be a young child again. To be unaware of the world. As I looked at my wee sister, looking lovely in her small blue coat resting in the pram, her gold curls forming her face, her long eyelashes resting softly on her cheeks, I felt the anger wash away, for a moment—just a moment—I found peace. Ariella The train moved on for days. We stopped three times during the journey. On the stops, one passenger was allowed to jump down from the train. Usually, a male passenger would empty the waste buckets and refill a third bucket with hay filled, lukewarm water. Officers would remove the dead from the train and beat anyone who tried to look out the opening. When the removal would occur, I would tightly shut my eyes, trying to block out the horrible sights. I held closely to Lior. Zacc offered sweet words in an attempt to soothe me. I could not be soothed but I appreciated that he was trying. Zacc remained my strength so I began to remember how our love blossomed. After the passage of all of the new laws, after the night when Fivel was born (finally Chana had proven that she could produce a son for my father) and Avigail had shared with me the conversation she overheard, we had two weeks of “peace” then our life was turned upside down. One night in the middle of the night after I had just rocked Fivel back to sleep, I was in my nightgown and had just laid down when a loud long knock echoed through the house. I figured I was imagining the noise because I was drowsy. BANG! BANG! I heard it two more times. I also heard Papa leap Strawser 158 out of bed a few rooms down. I could tell when he came to the door. I heard angry shouting in German. “Open the door! Schnell! Schnell!” a deep male voice uttered. Papa opened the door and the door to our old life closed forever. We found out we were to report into the city at sunrise. Four blocks had been fenced off to serve as a ghetto. If we failed to comply we would be shot. Before Papa could reflect on the news he had just learned the door was closed with another BANG. Papa raced upstairs and began waking the family. He knew the officers had already alerted my grandparents and would soon come alert Dov and his small family. Papa walked down the hall, calmly alerting the boys’ room first where Velvel and Levi, were sleeping, next to our room where I was laying awake and Avigail and Bayla looked terrified from their bed. He moved to the little girls’ room to where Sarai, Rachael, Rebekah, and Lior were sleepily crying. Chana was already awake attending to Fivel in the nursery. Dov barged in from downstairs calling loudly to Papa. He had been told everyone could take one suitcase that weighed no more than fifty kilos. He ran back out in a flash. I rushed to our chest of drawers and began deciding what to take when I realized I should help the little ones first. For the next few hours, I helped Chana pack clothes into suitcases while Avigail baked bread and boiled potatoes in the kitchen below. We had told the children to go back to sleep as we scurried about stuffing tiny dresses and shirts into the suitcases. Bubbe and Zayde quickly packed then came to help. They suggested we wear our winter coats because they would soon be needed. As dawn approached we left our house and our memories and began to walk to the ghetto. Strawser 159 Once arriving we were assigned two rooms to share with another family. My heart raced even amidst my sadness when I realized that the family we were to stay with was the Mermelstien family. We settled into our new home after receiving news that the men of the family would be on work detail in the town while the women would work within the ghetto. Tired and cranky, everyone was relieved to head to our new rooms. The Mermelstien, who included Abba the father who was a professor, Naomi the mother who was a seamstress, and two “children” Zacchaeus the oldest at twenty, and Tzipporah the youngest at fourteen. Zacc had been in Avigail’s grade in school, but was in a special literature class with me. We had been sweet on each other until Margaret, an older girl caught his eye. I soon tried to forget about him but it was impossible. We remained close friends. Abba and Papa shook hands. Papa pledged to keep our large family in one room. Naomi quickly suggested that we share their room. Luckily we had packed blankets. Our room, no bigger than our kitchen at home, had only one bed and a couch. Zayde Calev and Bubbe Ester were given the bed of course but agreed to take it only if some of the little ones shared the bed. Sarai and the twins decided to join them. A chest with pull out drawers became makeshift cradles for the youngest of the family. Moriah and Alter took the couch. Dov slept on a blanket below his wife. Papa and Chana, took to blankets on the floor. Levi had bedding in the corner. In the second room, the Mermelstien divided the room with a curtain. The couple shared a small twin bed while their offspring lay on the floor. Zacc, to my nervous delight, lay closest to the curtain. Velvel took one corner of the room while Avigail, Bayla, Lior and I took the other. We settled into a routine. Life was hard but not unbearable. Each one of us had some type of job. The men were issued permits to work outside of the ghetto. Dov came home Strawser 160 one day after we had been in the ghetto about a month, telling a terrible story. If a Jewish man tried to leave the ghetto without a permit, he would be killed without question. Dov made friends with a set of brothers. One of them could not find his permit upon reaching the gate. Dov said a conversation with an officer ensued: “Show me your permit quickly you rat!” the officer bellowed. “I have misplaced it, I am going to search my pockets,” Dov’s friend responded. BANG! The brother was shot in the head, his blood splattering his brother and mine. “Oh, I guess he was telling the truth” laughed the officer. After the shooting the guard had decided to search the man’s pockets for valuables but instead found his permit. As the officer called for the next man, the shocked, leftover brother was too numb to move. He was shot for not moving quickly enough. Covered in two men’s blood, my eldest burly bear of a brother was reduced to a shaking mouse as he handed over his permit. Dov warned that we should not make friends in the ghetto. I did not listen, however because my contribution in the ghetto was to be a caretaker in the orphanage. As much as I missed being around my siblings while they were at school, I attached myself to the little ones at the orphanage. I as assigned to the baby room at first. The orphanage was teeming with children and babies were no exception. I was immediately drawn to a newborn that was brought in. Her parents had moved to the city, thinking it would be better than where they had been living. They were horribly wrong. After three days in the ghetto, they decided it was too much to handle and tried to escape. They did not make it far before being shot. They left their tiny daughter in a gutter. Strawser 161 I came into work that morning, worried because a cold was going around our household. We had been in the ghetto six months. I had been delighted to find that due to his intense work, Zacc was developing deep muscles in his arms. I swooned when our families bonded over boiled potatoes and murky water. My mind bounced between the illness in our house and Zacc when another worker brought in a tiny bundle. The little girl was screaming and in fear of waking up the other children, she was thrust into the first open arms available in the baby room, which were mine. I looked down at her and we made eye contact. She calmed down and yawned. My maternal instinct surged. I decided I was to have a special bond with this little one whether I had been cautioned against it or not. She had beautiful golden red hair and large brown eyes. I asked everyone in the place what her name was and because no one could tell me, another co-worker finally told me just to name her—no one cared because she was just another orphan, just another mouth to feed. I decided to name her Shoshana because of her red hair. Her named meant “rose.” While I had my hands full with my little rose at the orphanage, I was shocked to learn Chana was expecting a little rose of her own. We had been in the ghetto a year when she made her announcement. She thought she could no longer have children. I was happy our family was expanding but Avigail was livid. She would whisper to me late at night in a quiet rage. We were starving but our parents had decided to bring another life into the world. I suggested it was an accident, but to her it didn’t matter. She snuggled closer to Bayla who had begun to lose weight. She was angry, knowing a new baby would eventually take away from Bayla. I too worried, but about Lior. Chana and Papa began to send the twins out through a hole in the ghetto fence. The twins begged on the street, hiding their Stars of David, an act which could have earned them a bullet to the back of the neck. Few could resist the twin cuteness. We survived by the twins bringing home stale bread and pitiful droopy vegetables. Strawser 162 My tummy was empty but my heart was full. I began to fall for Zacc once again. He was so tender, reading to his mother while she was sewing, singing to Tzipporah when she was upset, smiling at me every chance he had. I would melt inside when he looked at me. As I rocked my new charge at the nursery, I dared to dream about the day when the war was over and I could become a wife and a mother. Then the unthinkable happened. Fivel came down with some type of fever. He would lie placidly and whimper. Chana begged Papa to find a doctor for him. He did but the doctor said it was too late. Fivel died of Noma a virus that affected many children. The orphanage decreased. I cried for the loss of my brother and for the loss of the smiling faces I saw every day at work. I kept Shosana with the small babies for a longer amount of time than necessary so that she may not be sick. Stressed from the ill children, slightly grouchy from hunger pains, and sad from the conditions of our lives, I would sit out on the balcony our two rooms were attached to. One night unable to sleep I headed out there. Unbeknownst to me Zacc was also having trouble sleeping and followed me out. “Ella” he called softly. He was the only friend I allowed to call me Ella just like I was the only one to call him Zacc. I jumped, startled. “What are you doing out here Zacc? Your parents would not approve. My parents would not either.” “I just needed to talk to you in private without all of the little ones you are always surrounded by,” he replied. “Okay,” I whispered as he stepped closer. Strawser 163 “Ella,” he began “My dear I-“ he stopped noticing I had trembled due to the wind. He quickly removed the blanket he had wrapped around him and placed it over me. Hidden away in the darkness I felt an intimacy already blossoming between us. “Ella,” he began again. “I am sorry for our past. I knew you were sweet on me when I began seeing Margaret. That was wrong of me. Can you forgive me?” “Zacc,” I said softly shutting my eyes, “You may have hurt me but I know it hurt you when Franz Von Detten came in the shop repeatedly to call on me.” I paused, he nodded. “We are still friends,” I offered. “What if I want to be more than friends? Ella I have feelings for you” he said softly. “Zacc I-“ before I could finish he closed the gap between us. I trembled slightly as his head dropped down to mine. He slowly leaned in, putting his lips to mine. His touch was soft. I felt him sweetly embrace me as the kiss deepened. I pulled away slightly shocked. He apologized; I assured him there was no need to. We went back inside and laid our hands by one another under the curtain. Our relationship began. We hid it as much as we could from our families. We stole kisses silently on the balcony. I only told Avigail. She was upset of course. She told me it was stupid to be in love at a time like this. I told her, well then, I was stupid. Love sick, days in the ghetto flew past. Days blurred only broken up by certain, horrible events: the day we learned Uncle Motty and his family were gone—transported in the night. The officers began picking up Jews for deportation. To my horror, Shoshana, my beautiful, smiling rose was ripped from my arms during a round up of the children. A ten year old from the orphanage held Shoshana and she waved at me as the truck pulled away. She had no idea what awaited her. I later learned that Strawser 164 truckload of children and the next few that followed during the liquidation of the orphanage were gassed upon arrival to a concentration camp. So many young lives—wasted and gone in an instant. Heartbroken, things only went downhill from there. Chana gave birth to a small, unhealthy girl who was, despite being sickly, beautiful and born with a feisty yelp. After a few short weeks and many correlations, Papa and Chana arranged a local Christian farm family to take the two youngest members of our family. Miep and her husband had visited our farmhouse before when he needed help with farming. The couple was perfect Aryan specimens. They had seven children which is why they could only take the youngest two. Both blonde hair and blue eyed, Bayla and Kelila would blend in with the family. Miep promised to give them back immediately after the war. They were taking a big risk for our family, but Avigail was inconsolable. I was convinced half the time that our tiny sister was the only person who she loved out of the entire family. Bayla screamed when they were separated but the two small girls were smuggled out successfully. The final blow to the family before we were transported to the camps was Velvel’s death. At twenty-two years old, he had developed a love affair with a young Christian woman. Try as they might to hide their relationship, which they did successfully for many months, Anna and Velvel were found out. Anna suffered a merciless fate. Her head was shaved and she was forced around the town square wearing a sign that said, “Ruined: Gave Myself to a Jew.” She then watched Velvel be beaten until he was dead. I mourned my brother and mourned for Anna. I did not know her but I could not imagine losing Zacc in that manner. Or any manner. I began to panic because I realized, as a swallowed around the lump in my throat, that I may lose the love of my life. Strawser 165 Not long after this realization—after two years in the ghetto—we were told we were to be deported. This time there was no great panic as we loaded our luggage and loaded into the small stuffed cattle car. As the door shut worry finally set in as everyone began screaming. I knew my life was about to change forever. Avigail As I began to lose count on the number of days in the cattle car, the conditions inside hit an all time low, as did my mood. Our water bucket emptied early that morning and there was no sign of stopping. The food brought along for the trip disappeared due to hunger. Worst of all, Alter was growing sicker. I was growing upset. Twenty-one people—mostly elderly or sick people had died during the journey so far. I was upset that they had died but was thankful that I found a corner to sit in. I was able to cry over missing Bayla without anyone seeing. Would she even remember me when this was all over? I wondered about the answer to this question as I drifted in and out of sleep. Alter died during a nap. Moriah was beside herself as was Chana. Chana disliked us but bonded with Moriah. I felt bad for Chana she was probably remembering the baby she had lost and realizing that Kelila and Bayla were snuggled up to someone else right now. There was barely time to cry before the train screeched to a halt. Shrieks rang out. This was the first time the train had stopped crawling forward. Suddenly the door flew open. Sharp German tongues began wagging as sharp cries echoed. My German is not the best so I was morbidly glad when someone translated the harsh words: Listen up rotten swine! Move quickly or you will be shot. Strawser 166 Now! We began stumbling—out of one darkness and into another. Moriah was begging and pleading to not leave Alter behind. She wanted to see him buried. An SS officer grabbed her roughly off the train, ripped Alter out of her arms, and threw him back on the train. Moriah fell to the ground crying and was given a swift kick to the rear in response. After stumbling in the darkness, our car full of people along with six others was forced into lines. Forming a giant line we finally saw the entrance of the camp. We had heard rumors of the camps but of course we doubted their existence. Now we were staring one down in the face. A sign above the camps declared “Arbiet macht frei.” I began to wonder what type of work we would be doing and grimaced thinking something terrible awaited us. It did. My life went from livable to unlivable in a matter of hours. Prisoners as we were now called were lined up and sent through “processing.” As our family drew closer I knew what that meant. We were being separated.” Men to the left, women to the right!” Such a simple yet loaded command. Unfortunately I was bringing up the rear. What I saw happen next still haunts me today. Zayde Calev and Bubbe Esther were leading our family. Soldiers tried to separate them but they refused. Zayde muttered, “Please we are old. I have held her hand our whole lives, don’t separate us now, let us hold hands to greet death.” That is exactly what happened. They were escorted aside quietly and in the blink of an eye were both shot in the head. Our whole family screamed and whips were cracked on us for making noise. Everyone was crying. What had we just saw? I walked as my father and brothers went to the left. Except Nanchum. The soldier had noticed his limp. Strawser 167 He was pulled aside and Chana was smacked in the face for protesting. Bayla, wide eyed and scared held onto my hand, surprisingly so did Sarai. I watched as Alter was ripped out of Moriah’s arms and put by Nanchum and other children began crying. The twins seemed to delight the man doing the choosing. He sent them off with a guard. Chana, Lior, and Ariella were sent to the right along with Naomi and Tzipporah. I was next in line. I did not like the way the man was looking at me. His eyes were crawling all over me. I realized he was taking in my blond hair and blue eyes. He muttered something in German. One guard step forward to translate. “The Doctor thinks you are very beautiful,” he said, “he thinks you will make a good gift to his men. Follow me.” “Wait.” I pleaded. “Please don’t separate me from my family. Please.” After translating for the doctor, who seemed determined to separate me, I was told I could choose one of my sisters to go with me. I assumed the others would go with Chana. I gave Sarai a kiss and said I would take Bayla. To my horror Sarai was taken to the truck with the other kids. As I was being lead away a lump formed in my throat. I realized I may have just sentenced one sister to death. And I realized I would end up in a German bed soon. Ariella Numb. I simply felt numb. Alter, my adorable nephew—gone. My grandfather—gone. My beloved Bubbe—gone. In a matter of a few minutes I had been separated from all of the men in my life. I was forced to watch as my sister was lead to a car full of children. Avagail, she was gone too.. We were directed to run next. “Run!” they shouted their dogs barking at their sides. Snarling like the dogs they held, they barked “Run you dirty Jews you filthy swine RUUUUN!” Strawser 168 So we ran and we ran and when I thought my chest would explode we ran even more. It was my first challenge in the camp. After running a distance that made me sympathize with my ancestors in the desert, we arrived at a dark, dank building. We were swiftly escorted inside. I had a tight grip on Lior’s hand. Every woman in the group was crying. We were reprimanded, “Shut up swine! Tears will get you no pity you have brought this on yourself. Now undress quickly! Quickly!” “Undress? Here? In front of the guards?” Ask a voice. I heard a sickening thump as the question received a smack to her back and buttocks. “Yes here. Now is not the time for modesty Jews!” I shivered. With the exception of changing little ones, I had not seen any members of my family bare skinned. I knew however that the threat for beating was imminent. Quickly and soundlessly the floor became a patchwork quilt. Tiny whimpers and the occasional sniff rang out as undergarments were removed. Shaking from fear and the cold, we were pushed into another room. Standing in a group, I felt a little safer. It was to be short lived. Soon the lights snapped off like candle flames blown out. Screams of panic ripped through the packed room. “ This is it!” someone yelled, “They are gassing us!” Avigail I began shaking with anger as I was being lead away from my family. I wondered where they were taking me. A young girl a few years younger than me had been chosen out of the group also. In the darkness I saw in front of me more buildings—most identical—a multitude of Strawser 169 watchtowers. Chain length fences with razor wire toppers and snarling shepherds surrounded the camp, as if anyone would try to escape. I was treading lightly along the path to the unknown until we came to a stop at a special block. It was, unbeknownst to me, an awful form of hell. A translator quickly explained once inside. The prisoners at the camps had certain appetites and since we were in the middle of nowhere The officers gave in and decided to choose new bedmates for the prisoners in the form of Aryan looking Jews. Please the prisoners, or we would be sentenced to death via noose. We introduced ourselves, the young girl and I. Rivka’s husband had been shot moments ago. She was weeping furiously. I was shocked when we were introduced to the other women. My little cousin Leah had also been assigned to this block. I feared she was dead. We hugged silently, our tears spilling together. Leah told me my job was to clean off the layers of grime and grit that had collected during the trip. I was thankful for the wash basin she showed me to. We chatted quietly about our families while cleaning up. My gray and brown speckled skin shone baby pink once again. My curls lowered as Leah found and pinned a jade hair comb into the spirals. I applied light rouge and soft pink lipstick. I was declared ready. “Remember,” Leah advised, “keep your speaking to a minimum. If this is your first time do not cry out when he enters you. Please him or stare into the face of death. I will be next door if you need me.” With that, I entered my assigned cell.. Shaking, I sat down on the quilt covered bed. My creamy white legs were two flapping doves. I was not alone for long. The door opened sharply. A large but skeletal man entered the room. The man appeared to be Chana’s age. He was Strawser 170 sloppily dressed in his striped uniform, his brown hair buzzed, his deep, dark eyes sharp and unforgiving. I made a silent vow to myself as he began to undress. Unlike my sister- who was very much in love but naïve, knew what was supposed to happen on the wedding night. My friend Helena was pretty and loved with male attention. She had explained it all because she had done it all. I decided I would do my best for my life’s sake. He pawed at me, and I wondered if might be showing resistance. So I would not. If I was to be a whore, I was determined to do so in a way that preserved the life of myself I had two rules; If things become unbearable, I would count silently in my head and I would avoid kissing on the mouth as much as possible. Too personal, to intimate. Also during the act I vowed to never, never look into that hungry set of eyes. Prisoner one had undressed completely. Only given fifteen minutes, only allowed to be laying down and only allowed to be watched by guards, he got right to it. I stuffed a gasp, having never seen a naked man before. He began to speak to me. I could not understand him apart from the word “beautiful.” He quickly unclipped my hair. My rich blond curls cascaded down like a waterfall. I was thankful that my long hair covered my breasts. I was not as thankful when prisoner one decided that his attention should be directed there. He was very into-poor brute-I wondered how long since this disgusting man had known the touch of a woman. Too long apparently because sooner-and none so gently he was laying me back on the bed. A plush quilt enveloped us as he roughly took his mount. Two strong thrust and I felt a large pang of searing pain. I wondered if I was bleeding. I tried to be complient. I caressed his back and he-I thinkasked for more. I dipped away from the kiss he tried to give me and found refuge in his neck.. I looked past him and tried to gaze at the ceiling increasing in rhythm and showering me with sweat, the pig of a man then slapped me across the face when he reached his peak. He quickly Strawser 171 rolled off, and left me to lie there. I waited until I knew he was gone then began to attempt to clean up. My night was just getting started. Leah and I had ten men in two hours. When it was all over I cried and cried silently into my pillow. Ariella As it turned out, we were not the next to be gassed. As the faucets rained water on us we drank our fill thankful to be breathing if only for another day, another hour, another minute. Too quickly the smooth burst was shut off. We were screamed and smacked into the next room. To my horror I saw four barbers. We learned we would be sheered. Lice were the lies they used to justify the cutting. One by one the women of the group sat in the chair. Each had a different reaction. Naomi, Zacc’s mother murmured prayer and verses as her straight locks dropped to the floor. Moriah wept but somehow I knew it was not because of the hair. Her sorrow filled the air making it smother us all. Loir whimpered as her bow was ripped out and the clippers shaved her raw. I sat still. I closed my eyes and counted backwards. Avigail and I always did that when we would wake up crying for Mama. I was glad Mama was not here to see me now. Chana sat stoically, her lips pursed in a manner I had seen many times before. It was difficult to find my family in the sea of shaved heads but we quickly moved into the next room. We were ordered to choose clothes-quickly-from a pile. Hands grabbed but I managed to grab a small checked dress for Loir and she even smiled a little when I found the matching hat. I quickly threw on a mint green floral dress. Tzipporah was having difficulties reaching into the pile due to dizziness so I grabbed out an angelic pink skirt with a cream blouse. We were told to put on shoes and soon realized that they were very ill fitted. Strawser 172 Before we had time to adjust to our new garments before being herded like lost sheep into the final room on our tour of terror. This room was to be the worst. This room was where I lost my identity. Another line was formed. I was shocked when I heard the whirl of needles were they really going to brand us. Avigail used to complain about the Star of David because it acted as if it was a brand. Now, here, yellow fabric was being traded in for onyx colored ink. When it was my turn I was told; “Give me your name and I will give you a number.” “Ariella Eden Been,” I replied. I loved my full name so why not say it all. The inker, a balding man with a pink triangle on his clothes, asked for my left arm. I hesitated then complied. Minutes later, but what seemed like a thousand years, I was labeled. One letter with a string of numbers lined my arm. The tattoo experience will be forever burnt over easier I was told that Ariella was gone but J4512124 was there to stay. Loir (J4512125) sat on my lap and received her tattoo. I figured she would cry but she acted as if her tears had dried up. After our pre-camp prep, we were made to run to our bunks. I was aching for a mattress. Once I got there I found pallet boards stacked together and one paper thin blanket on each. We were to share these to a bunk. Loir, Tzipporah and I snuggled in thankful for each other’s body heat. We drifted off into a fitful night of sleep. Morning, or should I say the middle of the night came quickly. Out hungry bodies squealed for food but we were only given camp coffee-water with a few speckled coffee grounds. I used to drink coffee but on this particular morning I gulped it down. It tasted like I imagined sludge would taste but it was the wet my dry tongue craved. Two gulps and it was gone after the roll call and the’ coffee’ we were assigned work detail. Our block leader came around to ask our ages and formal occupations. Naomi, a forty-five Strawser 173 year old housewife went first. “Thirty-five and a milkmaid.” I was shocked that Zacc’s mother lied to them I realized it was to seem more useful, more workable. The women in my family all said we were farmers while Loir said she was fourteen. I doubt anyone believed the tiny ten year old but no one seemed to care. Out entire group was assigned to digging for what? We were unsure. I pushed reasoning aside and tried to focus on what Avigail might be doing. Avigail During the memorable moments in life it seems that time goes by ever so quickly. During this, the worst time of my lifetime neither moved fast nor slow but everything blurred. Days passed then weeks then months and a year. I had not so much heard or seen from my family. I hoped that they were all right. Leah, who had informed men told me of the horrors of the camp. Daily beatings, repent diseases, hunger—we should consider ourselves lucky that the only thing we had to do was one of the things our bodies were made to do. As prisoners came to fulfill the marriage debt over top of me I tried to remember her words. It didn’t work. When prisoners came in, I tried my best to not be charming. I was rarely spoken to but when I was I said as little as possible. Rivka haughtily told me that the prisoners reported my talents in the bedroom. Upon hearing this, I blushed to the roots of my hair. Shaking my head I gagged thinking of what Papa would say. One cold and wintery night I received a brief reprimand before the prisoners came to make love. “Avigail,” Leah said sternly, “I have received reports that you are not kissing the soldiers on the mouth nor are you looking them in the eye. Is this true?” Was it true? Had she seen the kind of men who found their ways into my bed? We each had our regulars. I had three, Strawser 174 firstly I had the large prisoner who took my maidenhood. I found out that his name was Otto, he was thirty-seven and was married with three children. I dreaded his visits because I would always come away with slaps or scratch marks. The second regular was a fifty-five year old man who formerly lived with his mother. He had graying hair and liked to call me by different names during the romp. The third was a dirty man who would not share his name--I was overjoyed by this. He looked at me like a piece of meat which made me quiver. Of course I did not kiss these men on the lips. “Tonight do what you normally don’t or risk your life,” bossed Leah. That night, a new Jew came in. he had saved money to buy an entire night because it was his birthday and he was lonely. Of course he chose me. “Beautiful, what is your name?” He asked softly. I avoided his eyes out of habit as I answered. “Avigail” he said, testing it out on his tongue. “Well Avigail, I am in your company for the whole night so we might as well chat some. What does your name mean; I have never heard it before?” I was taken aback. Why was he doing this? Why was he not mounting me like all of the other I still did not meet his eyes as I said “It means father’s joy. I was the first daughter born after two sons.” Why did I just share all of that information? What was his past? Clamping my mouth shut I decided to say no more. “Do you have only have two brothers?” he asked. I silently shook my head to the negative. Strawser 175 “Avigail” he said as if he knew me, “I am sorry. I am not used to this idea. But I am so lonely and sad My name is Asher by the way,\-don’t ask if it is a family name.” He paused to look at me, “ “I’m truly sorry we do not even have to go to bed together. I am trying to make you comfortable if I do join you.” I was furious. Liar. He had to be. He was like the others. “Can I get comfortable?” With that he removed his uniform. I tried to ignore his arms and broad chest. Quickly and for reasons I myself did not understand, I peaked at him. His hair was a thick, dark brown with a slight curl. I was not sure how he had hair when no one else did. He caught me looking. “Look,” I said. “I am a sure thing. I have to do this to keep myself alive. Let’s get this over with so I am not reprimanded.” “Only on one condition,” he said softly “will you be my friend. Please. This might well be easier for us both.” To stop him I nodded. He presented me with a small half smile. Slowly he crossed the bed to me. I tried to look down, to avoid his eyes. He lifted a hand and softly lifted my chin. He told me I was lovely and as I trembled he came closer. Why was I trembling? I asked myself. I do this all of the time. He softly pressed his lips close to mine. Oh-that was why. To my surprise he pushed me back softly on the bed. Keeping my gaze, he undressed us both. For the next several minutes he simply caressed and deepened our hug. I found that my hands were roaming over his back, down his broad chest and through his curls. Before I had time to question my actions he sat me up so that we were face to face. We made love. With the other men I had simply laid stone still. Asher begged for more. Strawser 176 He expected my participation. Looking into his eyes, caught in his trance, I complied. For the first time in my life I felt the sweet shock of pleasure. My biggest surprise was when he peaked whispering my name. Normally I was called by another name or even worse-bitch. Not Asher. He finished and lowered me back onto the bed. I expected him to jump up and leave. He did not. I was so confused that I began to weep. He confused me even more by leaning over to wipe the tears. As he ran his thumb across my cheek, his hands wrapped in my hair. I was in awe of the tenderness. Asher then kissed me and I looked into his eyes. The windows to his soul, I saw many things there-confusion at my tears, anger at the situation, softness and caring. Underneath it all I saw a look mostly, mostly of hunger. I know now why he was to stay all night. “Happy birthday Asher” I whispered. And when he leaned in--I did too. Ariella Scared. I simply felt scared. I felt alone. I felt terribly alone. So much had happened so quickly. Now two years later, I found out to my horror that Zacc had been chosen to be a Sonderkommando—a worker who burned dead bodies in the crematoria. I was terrified. As a small girl, I had overturned a pot of scalding water. Missing me for the most part and clanging to the floor, I was still baring the scars on my hand. I had screamed as I watched my skin’s color change and felt the flaming tongues of pain. Since that moment on I have feared anything related to flames. Now the love of my life was throwing bodies into the flames. I shivered in the confines of my bunk. Lior and Tzipporah, shivered with fever. A terrible sickness had afflicted Strawser 177 our block. Diaherria, fever, and weakness were the systems. I had been up for the past few nights tending to the girls. Chana was beside herself with grief. She was unsure of Kelila and Bayla’s fates after learning of bombing roomers. She had watched Fivel die, watched Alter, and assumed Sarai to be dead. We questioned as to if Avi was alive. More recently, we had found out that the twins had been subjected to medical experiments. Rachael had been forced into a hot climate; Riezelle was the exposed to extreme cold. They both died as a result. Moriah’s pregnant belly began to show even more despite lack of food. Once a guard noticed she was taken immediately to be gassed. Only after our time in the camp did I learn what really happened with Moriah: Zacc tenderly collected her body from the gassing room. He could not bring himself to throw her in the flames just yet. As he was working up the nerve to do it when something even worse happened. Moriah’s baby’s fluid reacted with the chemicals in the gas and ripped her stomach open. Zacc later told me this was his final test in the camps. The sight of his friend with her baby exposed and her stomach burst open made him want to jump into the flames himself and give up. Luckily he remembered me and our love and stopped himself. He still wakes up screaming some nights with nightmares about that horrible scene. Looking back now, the camps were horrible to my family. Papa died two days before the liberation of the camp. He died of the camp illness. Tante Motty lived and eventually met up with his brother before Papa died. Motty said Papa sat up off of his barrack bunk and chattered the way he used to hear him talking to Mama. I am glad that they are together now but would have preferred to have them both a little longer. Dov, understandingly enough fell into a depression upon learning the news of the death of his wife and the assumed death of his son. We Strawser 178 later found out that Sarai was gassed upon arrival. Anyways, Dov was in a depressed stupor and was shot at point blank range to the head for not working fast enough. Levi did not die grumpy and brooding like one might expect. Levi became fast friends with a young father. He took the man’s place in the gas chamber so that he may live to see his young son and daughter grow up.. Other deaths included Tanta Miriam who died of the camp disease, cousin Devorah from insanity after her mother died, Tzipporah from her illness, and Naomi from a random selection for gassing. My love survived the time in the camps, but Avigail’s did not. Asher and Avi saw each other exclusively for many months after the birthday night—he bargained with guards to have a satnding appointment. Avi found out exciting news and the day she was going to go tell Asher that she was pregnant she found out he had been killed for helping small numbers if Jewish people escape the camps. Avi was worried what her family would think of her love, so she took off after the liberation and the lived in a small cottage for a year and a half. She and Asher had a daughter whom she named Eliana whose name means God’s promise. Cousin Leah found after they had been separated and surprisingly to Avigail we all accepted our new niece and the memory of her father. Bayla stayed close with Avigail but forgot that Miep was not actually her mother. Chana, the only parental figure left in our life formed a better relationship with us. Chana eventually married again, and re-welcomed Kelila into her home. But life was never the same.. Avi, Chana and I decided to work on becoming friends. None of us were the same after our time in the camp. Zacc and I married and had six children, one for each of the millions of Jewish Strawser 179 people who died during the Holocaust. Avigail and I wanted to tell our stories. We want to bear witness. So this, what we lived through may never happen again.