BREAKING THROUGH BIAS
COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES FOR
WOMEN IN LITIGATION
Andrea S. Kramer
Partner
Chair, Financial Products, Trading & Derivatives Group
Chair, Gender Diversity Subcommittee
McDermott Will & Emery LLP
akramer@mwe.com
Special Address
2015 Women in Litigation
September 25, 2015
Loyola School of Law
©Andrea S. Kramer 2015. All rights reserved.
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The Elephant in the Room
Gender Inequality

Women have difficulty advancing in traditionally male
careers like the legal profession
 Expectations are uninterrupted progress up the ranks
 Relentless commitment to long hours at work or on the road

The subjective mind set of people who control women’s
career advancement

Deep-seated stereotypes about women, men, families,
careers, and leadership
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Gender Stereotypes

Beliefs about characteristics, attitudes, and behaviors

Simplify cognitive processes

Used to quickly decide how
to evaluate and relate to
other people

Unconsciously used to
differentiate and categorize
people by “type”
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Scripts for Discrimination

Scripts for how we relate to other people once sorted

Can be benign and harmless, underpinning much of
ethical social conduct

Discriminatory scripts hurt minority groups and women
in traditionally male careers

Also hurts men in traditionally female careers
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Gender Sorting

Largely benign and evolutionarily valuable

Gender sorting is harmful when it assigns
characteristics beyond biological ones to people

Gender stereotypes
have changed little
over the last 40
years
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Feminine Stereotypes (Communal)
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Affectionate
Compassionate
Eager to soothe hurt feelings
Emotional
Friendly
Gentle
Mild
Modest
Pleasant
Sensitive to the needs of others
Tender
Understanding
Warm
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Masculine Stereotypes (Agentic)
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Achievement-oriented
Aggressive
Assertive
Dominant
Forceful
Independent
Self-confident
Strong
Tough
Unemotional
Willing to take a stand
Willing to take risks
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Successful Leader Stereotypes (Agentic)

Able to take charge
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Action oriented
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Assertive
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Inspirational
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Problem-solvers
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Risk-takers
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Self-confident
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Successful Lawyer Stereotypes
 Same as a successful leader
 Uninterrupted progress up the ranks
 Relentless commitment to long hours
 At work
 On the road
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Assumptions

Assumptions are that women have “feminine”
characteristics (communal) and men have “masculine”
characteristics (agentic)

Successful lawyers are agentic and men are agentic,
therefore men should be lawyers

Caregivers are communal and women are communal,
therefore women should be caregivers

Just because women are women, they are not suited for
stereotypically male careers like the law
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Gender-Loaded Words
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Abrasive
Aggressive
Angry
Bossy
Breathless
Catty
Difficult
Emotional
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Harpy
High maintenance
Irrational
Out of control
Shrill
Strident
Takes everything personally
Unlikable
Biases

Women can receive less challenging assignments, less
supervisory roles, less advancement, and less compensation

Small amount of bias accumulates over time
into significant job disadvantages

Businesses lose talent, growth
opportunities, and profits
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Discriminatory Operation

Descriptively tell us what women and men are like.
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Prescriptively tell us what women and men should
be like.
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Proscriptively tell us what women and men should
not be like.
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All of these assumptions discriminate against women
in traditionally male careers like the law.
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Prescriptive and Proscriptive
Discrimination

Prescriptions and proscriptions work together to hold
women back.

If women show they are sensitive to others feelings,
kind, and thoughtful, they are well liked, but seen as
less competent for leadership roles than men with
similar talents.

Agentic women increase their perceived competence
but reduce their likability because they are seen as
competent but selfish and unlikable.
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Hostile Biases

Negative views about women’s competence or suitability for certain
tasks or positions.

Recent Study: Science professors (male and female) favored male
students:
 Same application for science lab manager position but 50%
had a woman’s name and 50% had a man’s name
 Both male and female faculty consistently judged the applications from
women as less competent and less worthy of being hired, offered
women a smaller starting salary and offered less career mentoring
 This was the result even though the applications were exactly the same
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Benevolent Biases
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Women are believed to be “naturally” more kind, emotional
and compassionate but men are believed to be “naturally”
stronger, rational and powerful.
Solicitousness for women’s welfare and their family
responsibilities.
Praise women for performance but assign them devalued
assignments.
If women are believed to be emotional, mild and sensitive,
women get assignments less difficult and challenging than
those given to men.
This polite “help” and sympathy undermines women’s
careers and can be insulting.
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Double Standard

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Women must prove their competence
Men are presumed to be competent
Women must repeatedly prove competence through achievements

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Same behavior is viewed differently

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“He’s thoughtful. She’s hesitant.”
“He’s decisive. She’s impulsive.”
“He’s busy. She has trouble with deadlines.”
Women’s mistakes are remembered long after
men’s are forgotten
Evaluators are more likely to notice and remember
information that confirms (rather than contradicts)
stereotypes.
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“He’s skilled. She’s lucky.”
Double Bind

Communal women are viewed as warm, good natured,
and likable but not competent.

Agentic women are viewed as competent but evaluated
negatively as not likable.

Actions applauded in men are seen as unacceptable
in women.
 “He’s incisive. She’s abrasive,
too outspoken, not a team player
and lacks interpersonal skills.”
 “He knows his own worth.
She’s a shameless self-promoter.”
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Double Bind (cont’d)

Women are evaluated favorably when they conform to
traditional feminine roles but not if they don’t conform.

Women are left in less valued jobs, with limited
advancement opportunities.

Successful lawyers are assumed to be men, so women
lawyers are assumed to be incompetent (if communal)
or not nice (if agentic).
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Beware the Double Bind

Too tough, too soft, but never “just right.”

Women must prove they can lead.

Women lawyers are “competent” or “likable,” but rarely both.

If women speak in an inclusive (communal)
way, seen as ineffective.
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If women speak straight forward and directly
(agentically), seen as unfeminine or aggressive.
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If a man gets angry at work, he can be admired for it.
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If a woman gets angry at work, she is “out of control,”
“emotional,” or “incompetent.”

Successful women lawyers use a combination of both agentic
and communal traits.
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Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall
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Pregnant women and mothers face the Maternal Wall
 Strong workforce bias against them
 When women need time off to handle family matters, they are
viewed as lacking commitment and competence

Hostile stereotyping: “Mothers belong at home”
 Working mother told her place is in the home

Benevolent stereotyping: “Killing Moms
with kindness”
 Senior lawyers do not consider a
mother for a major project on the
assumption she will not want to work
the hours or travel
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Stereotyping: The Maternal Wall (cont’d)

Strong presumption that working mothers cannot do
both jobs well and must be less committed and
competent (particularly part-time employees)
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Many career opportunities are based
on what men think working mothers should
do, rather than asking them what they want to do
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Double Jeopardy

Extensive literature documents negative assumptions
triggered by race or ethnicity

Women of color face both gender and racial or
ethnic biases
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Gender Communication
Tendencies
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What It’s All About
 Non-verbal tendencies
in gender communication
 Body language
 Physical appearance
 Use of physical space
 Language content and patterns
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Non-Verbal Differences
Body Language

Use of physical and personal space

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Gestures

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Men tend to lean back (high power);
women forward (low power)
Handshakes

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Men rarely nod while listening (agentic); women tend to nod while listening to
acknowledge points (communal).
Posture during listening

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Men tend to gesture away from their bodies (high power); women towards their
bodies (low power)
Listening

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Men tend to take up more space (high power); women less (low power)
Men tend to offer stronger handshakes (high
power); women weaker handshakes (low power)
Language Content and Patterns
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Language Content
 In conversation: In mixed groups, men tend to talk more,
women less.
 Directness of statements: Men are direct and sharp,
women are vague and imprecise.
 Commands or orders: Men tend to give
commands or orders, women tend to be
indirect and make suggestions.
 Answering questions: Men tend to
answer questions directly, women tend to
answer one question with another question.
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Language Content (cont’d)
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Interrupting others: Men tend to interrupt more; women interrupt less.
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Verbal opposition: Men tend to engage in verbal opposition
without seeing it as a personal attack; women tend to avoid it and
take it personally.
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Anger: Men tend to shout or yell to express anger; women tend to cry.
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Humor: Men are more likely to engage in derogatory or put-down humor;
women are less likely to do so.
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Apologies: Men tend not to apologize but if they do, it is with little
emotion; women apologize and tend to
talk about their feelings.

Self promotion: Men praise
themselves more than they tend to
praise others; women are less likely to
praise themselves and are more likely to
praise others.
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Communal Language Patterns
“I may be off base here but....”
“I don’t know if this is helpful but....”
“Maybe I’m wrong about this but....”
“I’m not an expert but….”
“This is a guess on my part but….”
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“I’m Sorry”
Studies show women believe that they have
done something justifying an apology more than
men do.

Women also say “I’m sorry” to express
sympathy and make connections.

Men find it difficult to say they are sorry.

If women repeatedly say “I’m sorry,” men
think they must have something to apologize
for (why else would she say she’s sorry?)

Try something like: “that’s too bad,” or “that’s
terrible news,” “or I’m sure you are
disappointed.”
Not, “I’m sorry.”
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When Getting Assignments

Women: Ask questions to verify and validate
information and make connections in nonconfrontational ways.
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Men: Less likely to ask questions because don’t want to
negatively affecting their rank or status.

Result: When women ask deferential questions, they
may be perceived as “not self-starters,” “less expert,”
“need their hands held” or are “too high-maintenance.”
Men may get a “pass” because perceived to be “selfstarters,” “aware of the scope of the project” and “with
the skills to proceed.” The result is decreased
information flow.
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Answering Assignments

Women: Tend to respond with a lot of detail that may precede their
bottom-line conclusions.
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Men: Tend to respond by getting to the answer first, with details following,
if asked about them.

Result: Women can be incorrectly seen as not understanding the
assignment, lacking confidence or
not being intellectually strong because the detail confuses their listeners.
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Giving Instructions and Assignments

Women: Women tend to give instructions in a more
indirect way than men.

Men: Tend to give direct orders.
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Result: Women supervisors can be incorrectly
perceived as indecisive, lacking confidence, or seeking
advice rather than actually giving assignments. Women
who are direct can be criticized as “bossy.”
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Mixed-Gender Discussions

Women: Tend to focus on whether everyone has a fair
chance to speak. As a result, women often talk briefly and
remain quiet to allow others enough “air-time.” And when
women do speak, they are more likely to stop talking when
they are interrupted.

Men: Don’t consider the concept of “equal air-time.” Men
“pile on” to show agreement and solidarity with what other
men say. They tend to interrupt women more than they
interrupt men.

Result: Men dominate mixed-gender discussions. Women do
not get credit for ideas they initially raise but that are
developed by men. Men miss crucial information and valuable
contributions of women. Less effective work product.
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How to Navigate Gender Bias
 Learn the Written and
Unwritten Rules
 Advocate for Yourself
 Don’t Get in Your Own Way
 Manage the Impressions
You Give to Others
 Develop Your Grit and a
Growth Mindset
 Seek Mentors,
Sponsors and Allies
 Make Connections
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Learn the Written and Unwritten Rules
 Start with the official workplace rules, policies, and procedures
 Study business best practices
 Identify rewarded behaviors
 Identify effective communicators
 Watch successful lawyers to learn a trick or two of
how to navigate workplace bureaucracy
 Do you work with powerful people? Do you get high visibility and
important projects?
 Don’t live by email alone
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Manage the Impressions You Give
to Others

Be aware of the reactions other people have about you
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Accurately observe nonverbal communication

Listen carefully to what is really being said
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Understand that gender stereotypes and biases are held
by women as well as men
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Be aware of the stereotypical line between technical and
social competence
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Response: Impression Management
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Speak agentically and communally to show technical and social
competence.
Decide when to speak (pick your shots), knowing silence is a form
of communication.
Listen carefully and interpret.
Speak when you have something to say, and don’t
worry about being seen as aggressive or dominating.
When senior men adopt inclusive, collegial “women’s
style” conversations, often men and women both speak
that way.
If you think you might cry, leave the situation until you can control
your emotions
If angry, slow down, talk slowly
and calmly. Don’t yell.
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Response: Avoid Protective
Defensive Behaviors
 Some women hold themselves back, self
edit, or dumb down to be liked
 Other women choose not to seek out high
value assignments requiring agentic
behavior
 And yet others choose not to seek
promotion opportunities
 You should avoid these responses
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Build Up and Demonstrate
Your Confidence

Mind Priming
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Power Posing
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When you feel powerful,
you can perform at the
top of your game
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Even if you don’t feel it, fake it
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Build Grit and a Growth Mindset
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What Does it Mean to be Gritty?
 Persistence
 Sustained, passionate pursuit of your
long-term goals
 Try, try again
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What is Your Mindset About Talent
and Effort?
Fixed mindsets
Growth mindsets

Believe intelligent people are born
that way

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Believe talent and intelligence are
everything
No matter what your natural
aptitude, effort is what you need to
improve and achieve

Committed and motivated

Effort is fruitless

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Threatened by success of others

Hard to cope with setbacks
It can get better with hard work and
effort and set- backs can be
learned from

Effort is the path to mastery and
success

Inspired by the success of others
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Grit and a Growth Mindset go Together

Grit predicts legal achievement, more than GPA
or rank in law school

Grittier people tend to work harder and longer
than their peers, are more likely to practice to
improve their performance, more likely to
“stay the course,” and not to get distracted by
immediate, short-term interests

Grit is particularly important in challenging contexts

People with growth mindsets see their abilities
as something that can be developed through
dedication and effort

The result? Those with a growth mindset tend to
outperform those with fixed mindsets
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Lawyers, Grit and Growth Mindsets
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Lawyers tend to be gritty
Grit is related to success in law, including billable hours
and quality of work
Grit results in legal success, grit does
not grow by legal success
Lawyers don’t like failure
so, your mindset should be on
improvement, not failure
Specialize in your filed and seek
out challenging assignments
Feel exhilaration at your growth
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Conversations with Yourself
Instead Of …
Try Something like…

I’m not good at this.

What am I missing?

I’m great at this.

I’m on the right track.

I can’t do this.
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I’ll keep trying. I’m going to work at this.

This is too hard.

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It’s good enough as it is.
This will take some time and a real
effort.

I can’t do this any better.

Is this really as good as I can do this?

I made a mistake.

I can always improve; I’ll keep trying.

I’ll never be as smart as she is.

Mistakes help me learn and improve.

I give up.

I’m going to figure out what she does
and try.

I will not give up.
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Conversations with Yourself . . .
Instead Of …
Try Something like…

Nothing I do will make a difference.

I’ll try something new.

I’m a failure.

I’ll give it a try.

I’m not awesome at this.

I’m on the right track

I’m so stupid.

What am I missing?

I’m too slow.
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I’ll keep practicing.
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Advocate for Yourself

Approach self-evaluations with planning,
determination, and effort
 My personal observations
 Based on careful review of well over
1,000 self-evaluations
 Easy to identify those written by men
and those by women

Men (as a group) are self laudatory,
making their career objectives known

Women (as a group) down-play
their accomplishments, act modestly, and
are silent about their career objectives

You need to boldly recount your
accomplishments (as long as you can
prove them, if necessary)
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Show Off Your Strengths

Teach classes, seminars, or CLE programs

Participate in (don’t just join) professional associations

Make speeches

Write articles

Get involved in community service

Get out and be seen in your
professional capacity
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Focus on Advancement
 Tell your supervisors about your
professional objectives.
 Your feelings, desires, and
accomplishments are NOT
automatically known to your
supervisors and colleagues.
 Confidently explain your achievements
and be prepared to prove them
 Clearly articulate your career and
compensation expectations.
 Seek out mentors, sponsors and allies.
 Seek out challenging projects that allow
you to grow
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Don’t Get In Your Own Way


Firm handshakes and appropriate eye contact
are important.
Maintain balance in your delivery:
 Too assertive: unreasonable
 Too deferential: ignored or marginalized

Maintain balance in your demeanor:
 Too professional: difficult to establish rapport
 Too personal: difficult to command respect


Don’t wait your turn to speak because it may
never come.
Dress appropriately and comfortably.
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Seek Mentors, Sponsors, and Allies

Women and men you work with or report to can be
excellent mentors, sponsors and allies if they know your
career objectives.

Understand that traditional gender stereotypes and
biases are held by women as well
as men.

Offer to help potential mentors and sponsors with
something important to them; relationships are a two
way street.
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Connect, Connect, and Connect Some More

Have a memorable one minute introduction (what’s new
in your career), ready to use at any time.

Develop an inside and outside network to create a
positive buzz about you.

Stay in touch throughout the year with those with a
“say” in your career.

Participate on committees and other groups to build
workplace alliances and friendships.

Connect in ways different from “canned” pleasantries.
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Build a Support Network

Develop a strong support network of people you can
trust

Find a trusted friend to talk with for support

It helps you rethink and analyze your professional and
personal objectives

It helps grit-building and helps you generate the energy
to carry out your objectives
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Reflections

Make yourself valuable and have the
right attitude.

When something concerns you, speak
up. Don’t stew about it.

If you make a mistake, acknowledge
it and move on. Don’t dwell on it.

Get the most out of the impressions
you make.

Communicate clearly.
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More Reflections

Ask for feedback about your work.
Don’t get defensive.

Give effective, motivational, and
positive feedback (as well as
constructive feedback)

Be politically savvy and get a sponsor

Beware of gender stereotypes and
biases

Use Impression Management

Consider gender communication
tendencies.
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Discussion
Andrea S. Kramer
McDermott Will & Emery LLP
Partner
Chair, Financial Products,
Trading & Derivatives Group
Chair, Gender Diversity
Subcommittee
akramer@mwe.com
+1 312 984 6480
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