The Art of Listening
What is active listening?
• It’s a communication skill that involves both the
speaker and the receiver.
• In active listening, the receiver tries to understand
what feelings, thoughts, & beliefs are being
communicated and accepts it as the person’s own.
• The listener feeds back only what they believe the
sender’s message meant - nothing more, nothing
less. It involves feedback and verification that the
receiver correctly understood the senders message.
• The active listener avoids getting stuck in another
person’s “helpless” feelings.
Why is it important to listen?
Failure to listen brings unfortunate
results!
Human beings want to express
themselves, to be heard.
Listening can de-escalate situations.
People can hear four times faster
than others can talk, which gives
a skilled listener time to sort
matters
What Interferes with Listening?
• Sheer laziness and/or just not caring
• Noise and or physical discomfort
• Turing the speaker off and dwelling on the plethora of
internal distractions
• Letting a remark of the speaker (with which we disagree)
develop a prejudice which clouds or puts a stop to any
further listening
• Boredom - remember, we hear four times faster that we
speak
• Developing your own rebuttal or listening mainly to find
an opening to state what you have to say (competitive or
combative listening)
• Allowing personal characteristics of the speaker or his
poor delivery to prevent understanding
“We were given two ears but only
one mouth. This is because God
knew that listening was twice as
hard as talking.”
unknown
In active listening you will:
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listen for the content of the message,
listen for the feelings of the speaker,
listen without making judgment,
respond to the feelings of the speakers,
note the speakers cues, both verbal and
nonverbal,
• ask open-ended questions, and
• reflect back to the speaker what you think
you are hearing.
Active Listening Techniques
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Encouraging
Restating
Reflecting
Summarizing
Encouragement
• The purpose is to convey interest and to
keep the person talking.
• To do this don’t agree or disagree. Use
noncommittal words in a positive tone of
voice.
• “I see…” “uh-huh…” “That’s interesting”
“What did you say then?” “What did he say
when you said that?”
• Be aware of your body language!
Restating
• The purpose is to show that you are
listening and understanding.
• To do this, restate the other’s basic ideas
using your own words.
• “If I understand you, you are saying…” “In
other words, your decision is…”
• Be aware of your body language!
Reflecting
• The purpose is to show that you are
listening and understand what they are
feeling.
• To do this restate the other’s basic feeling.
• “You feel that…” “You were pretty
disturbed by this…”
• Be aware of your body language!
Summarizing
• The purpose is to pull important ideas, facts,
etc. together, to establish a basis for further
discussion and to review progress.
• To do this restate, reflect and summarize
major ideas and feelings.
• “These seem to be the key ideas you have
expressed…” “If I understand you, you feel
this way about the situation…”
• Be aware of your body language!
When the Emotion is Directed at
YOU….
• Hearing the speaker out diffuses the
emotion
If you really want to listen, you
will act like a good listener.
Good listeners are like good
catchers because they give their
speakers a target and then move
that target to capture the
information that is being sent.