Journalism 1
Week 10, 11 and 12
Bell work #15
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A comma splice occurs when two
independent clauses are joined with
only a comma
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Incorrect: I enjoyed my time as a Boy Scout, I
learned many skills.
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Reminder:
◦ Label Bell work #15
◦ Write the statement
◦ 7-minute writing
Bell work #15
A comma splice occurs when two
independent clauses are joined with
only a comma
 Correct: I enjoyed my time as a Boy
Scout, and I learned many skills.
 Correct: I enjoyed my time as a Boy
Scout; I learned many skills
 Correct: I enjoyed my time as a Boy
Scout. I learned many skills.
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Bell work #16
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Active voice presents the subject of the sentence as the doer of the action of
the verb. Passive voice presents the subject of the sentence as the receiver of
the action of the verb. Active voice is preferred as being less wordy and more
direct.
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Active Voice: The school board expelled 17 students last night for their part in vandalizing
the science lab last March.
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Passive Voice: Seventeen students were expelled last night by the school board for their part
in vandalizing the science lab last March.
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Active Voice: Prom committee members decorated the gymnasium.
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Passive Voice: The gymnasium was decorated by prom committee members.
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Note: Passive voice is preferred when the receiver of the action is more important than the
doer of the action, or when the doer of the action is unknown.
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Passive Voice: Senior Steve Johnson was arrested last night and charged with embezzling
funds from the student government,
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Passive Voice: More than $2,500 in damage was done by vandals who broke into the science
lab during the weekend.
Bell work #17
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Pronoun-antecedent agreement problems
occur when the pronoun is plural but the
antecedent is singular. Pronouns must
agree in both number and gender.
Incorrect: The First Lutheran Church will hold
their annual chili supper Friday evening.
 Incorrect: Each reporter must submit their story
by deadline.
 Incorrect: The team won their last three games.
 Reminder:

◦ Write the Statement and examples
◦ 7-minute writing
Bell work #17
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Pronoun-antecedent agreement problems occur when the
pronoun is plural but the antecedent is singular. Pronouns
must agree in both number and gender.
Correct: The First Lutheran Church will hold
its annual chili supper Friday evening.
 Correct: Members of the First Lutheran
Church will hold its annual chili supper
Friday evening.
 Correct but wordy: Each reporter must
submit his or her story by deadline
 Correct: The team won its last three games.

Bell work #18
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Subject-verb agreement problems occur for a variety of reasons.The most frequent
problems occur when using collective nouns, such as team, committee, council, faculty,
and board. Collective nouns take a singular verb when used to mean a single group
acting together or in agreement.
◦ Example: The committee is unhappy with the results of the vote.
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Collective nouns take a plural verb when used to refer to group members acting as individuals or in
disagreement. Writers avoid the problem by adding the word members.
◦ Correct: The faculty were split in their reactions to the vote,
◦ Better: The faculty members were split in their reactions to the vote.
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Note: Some words are plural in spelling but singular in meaning. These take a singular verb.
◦ Example: Much of the news today is bad news.
◦ Example: Economics is a fascinating subject.

Other plural words, although referring to a single item, take a plural verb.
◦ Example: Those new jeans are distinctive
◦ Example: Scissors were used to cut the screen
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Reminder:
◦
Write the Statement and examples
◦
7-minute writing
Bell work #19
Word Choice Issues
 More than or over?
◦ More than refers to a number, over refers to a position.
 Incorrect: Over 30 students volunteered to clean the stadium.
 Correct: More than 30 students volunteered to clean the stadium.

Because of or due to?
◦ Because of modifies a verb. Due to modifies a noun and usually
follows a form of the verb “to be”.
 Examples: He failed to get into college because of a poor grade point average.
 His failure to get into college was due to a poor grade point average.
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Allot or a lot?
◦ Allot is a verb, A lot is used as an adjective to mean “many.”
 Examples: The committee voted to allot $100 for prizes.
 A lot of students auditioned for roles in the musical.
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Its or it’s?
◦ Its is an irregular possessive. It’s is a contraction of it is.
 Examples: Referring to the first-place ranking the coach said, “My players know its true
worth.”
 Players say it’s a long bus ride to most away games.
Bell work #20
Directions: Write example sentences to demonstrate proper use of each.
accept and except
 allowed and aloud
 further and farther
 have and of
 loose and lose
 passed and past
 their, there, and they’re
 through and threw
 that, which, and who
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Reminder:
◦ Label Bell work #20
◦ 7-minute writing
Bell work # 21
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Directions: Read the comments about writing style. Identify how having a consistent
manner of presentation benefits both news writers and readers.
Why Learn AP Style?
By Professor Mark Grabowski
You must know Associated Press style if you intend to get a job in the
media or public relations.
Strictly following a particular usage style provides consistence,
accuracy and clarity in grammar, punctuation and other language issues.
While some publications, such as the New York Times, have their own
unique style, the vast majority of newspapers, magazines and press releases
follow the rules of the AP Stylebook. AP style aims to be totally accurate, clear
to anyone with a high school education and inoffensive (curse words are
generally avoided, for example)- all while being as succinct as possible. Note
that AP style differs significantly from style guides typically used in English
classes, such as the APA and Oxford style guides.
Keep you AP Stylebook handy and refer to it often. You probably
won’t be able to memorize everything inside the book, but you should at least
remember common style issues… and be familiar enough with the book that
you can look up other issues quickly when you’re writing on deadline.
Bell work #22
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Names and Identification
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The first time a person is named in a story, his or her complete first
and last name along with some identifier should be used.
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Faculty members are identified by position or subject taught, whichever
is appropriate for the particular story. Titles can also indicate job, rank,
or profession for example coach, principal, superintendent, nurse,
counselor, athletic director, English teacher). Short titles precede names:
“English teacher Laura Pearson” or basketball coach James Rogers.”
Longer titles usually follow: “Mrs. Julie Barnett, treasurer of Florida
FBLA-PBL Board”

Students are identified by class, year of graduation or some other
method appropriate to the school ( senior Sarah Kind; Ian Macford, ’08;
Bryon Dymond, 4)
Bell work #23
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Numbers
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Spell out all approximate numbers and numerals up to and including nine except for dates, scores,
addresses, ages, time and money (about 2,000 are expected; Sep. 4, 2008; Ames, 14, 3 years old)
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Do not begin a sentence with a number in figures; if a sentence must start with a number, it should be
spelled out
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Spell out ordinary numbers (sixty-sixth)
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Do not use d, rd, st or th in writing dates 9 may 29, 2006; not May 29 th,2006)
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When two numbers are used together, avoid confusion by spelling out the first, whether the number I
above or below nine ( fourteen 4-year-old children, not 14 4-year-old children)
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In a list containing numbers below and above nine, use figures for all. ( Thos on the committee include 5
from GAA, 11 from Student Council, 3 from the French Club and 14 for the hall monitors)
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For sums of money less than one dollar, use figures and word cents ( 10 cents, not $.10; 5 cents, not
5cts.).
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Do not use the date when an event occurs within or close to the week of publication (Friday, next
Friday, last Tuesday, tonight, yesterday).
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For numbers of four or more digits, except serial number- house, telephone, pages, years- use a comma (
4,945; 469, 958,000).
Bell work #24
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Race or Ethnic Language
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Identifying someone as a member of a minority group is done only when it is
essential to the reader’s full understanding of the story. The decision to use
racial, ethnic, religious or sexual orientation labels should be made only after
careful consideration for their news values.

Minority groups of all kinds deserve to be identified, if there is a need to use
such identification in the story, with labels acceptable to them and conforming
to what is advocated by official groups representative of these minorities.

Racial, ethnic, religious or sexual orientation stereotypes, like male-female
ones, should be eliminated from all writing, art and photography. Some of that
bias is subtle and unintentional.
◦ For example, if you are doing a story about unmarried teenage mothers, it would be wrong to
cover, in words and photos, only those of certain racial or ethnic groups, since being unmarried
and pregnant crosses all racial, ethnic and economic boundaries.
Bell work #25

Race or Ethnic Language

A good reporter needs to understand that some words are used within the community
but once someone outside the community uses the words, they carry derogatory
meanings. Other words such as barrio started as neutral descriptions but over time have
suggested derogatory stereotypes and should be avoided.

Labels popular and acceptable in the past may not be today. For example, the term Negro
was acceptable for media to use in the 1960s, but today black is used.

Acceptable labels for some of the major minority groups in the United States:
◦ Asian-American
◦ African-American or black
◦ Native American or American Indian
◦ Native Alaskan
◦ Hispanic, Latino/Latina, Chicano, Chicana- although any one of these is considered
derogatory in certain regions
◦ Pacific Islander
◦ Gay ( male)
◦ Lesbian ( female)
◦ Homosexual
Bell work # 26
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Screening Sexist Expression
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What we say and write about men and women often reveals attitudes toward
sex roles that many persons find objectionable. Language does affect values,
especially when we are speaking of persons who belong to groups other than
our own. In general, our goal should be to avoid the use of words and phrases
that directly or indirectly suggest limited opportunity for members of any
groups, whether by sex, race, ethnic description or religion.

Gender-free terms should replace sex-designating terms

Change
Mailman to mail carrier
Fireman to fire fighter
Policeman or policewoman to law enforcement official or police officer
Newsman to newswoman to reporter
Actor and actress to only actor
Chairman to chairperson or chair
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Bell work #27
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Marital Status, Appearance, Sexual
Stereotypes
◦ The appearance of a woman (or man) should not be
described unless the description is essential for the
story.
◦ A girl watching or male-watching tone – using words or
phrases such as buxom, blonde or big hunk- should be
avoided,
◦ Clichés and jokes at women’s or men’s expense such as
woman driver or dumb jock should also be avoided.
Bell work #28

Do not abbreviate
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◦
◦
◦
◦
◦
◦
◦
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Names of streets ( Eastwood Avenue, Central Street)
Title following a name ( Susan Ginsburg, professor of history)
Days of the week
States when used without a city
Percent ( the symbol % should be used only in tabular material or
in headlines when used with a figure)
Positions when not used as titles (secretary, treasurer, president)
Department (English Department)
Christmas (not Xmas)
 The year, except when used to identify students or alumni
(2007; Libby Nelson, ’04)
United States as a noun; it can be abbreviated as an adjective ( in
the United States, but U.S. history)
Bell work #29
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Italics

Some publications use italics for names of books, long musical selections, plays and record
albums and may use italics for names of newspapers, magazines and boats or ships.
However, widely used AP style puts the names of books, long musical selections, plays and
record albums in quotes and capitalizes the names of newspapers, magazines and boats and
ships without any quotes of italics

Words from other languages that have not become an accepted part of English (the meal
was prepared a la francaise; Geoffrey’s goal is to graduate cum laude)

A letter of the alphabet or a word used specifically as a word ( The word letter has two t’s
in it)

An editor’ s note to a story

A word to be emphasized ( He repeated he had never been a candidate)

Use italics for emphasis with caution. A reader ignores overused italics
Chapter 6: Writing a News Story
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Read Chapter 6 p. 112-143
Write Vocabulary on page 113 and Vocabulary Flash Cards
Lecture and Activities PowerPoint Chapter 6
Leads and Inverted Pyramid Notes
Associated Press Style Top 10 List
Creating a Inverted Pyramid News Poster
Creating a Inverted Pyramid Fairy Tale
◦ Example of Fairy Tale Articles
Inverted Pyramid Checklist
 Chapter 6 Handout Review

Inverted pyramid checklist
When you write an inverted pyramid
news story, use the following checklist to
make sure that you have done it correctly.
Information should be presented in
descending order of importance.
 Leads

◦ one sentence
◦ 20-35 words maximum
◦ lead tells the most important information in
the story and gives specific facts
Inverted Pyramid checklist
continued…
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Second paragraph
◦ expand or develop some idea introduced in the lead
◦ should not drop the story into a chronological narrative
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Attribution
◦ All major information should be attributed unless it is
commonly known or unless the information itself strongly
implies the source.
◦ Don’t dump a string of direct quotations on the reader.
◦ Direct quotations should be no more than two sentences long.
◦ Direct quotations and their attribution should be punctuated
properly. Here’s an example:
“John did not go with her,” he said.

Elements of a direct quotation should be in the proper
sequence, as in the example above: direct quote,
speaker, verb.
Inverted Pyramid checklist
continued…
AP style
Always. Check numbers, dates, locations, titles, etc.
 Check the following

◦ pronoun-antecedent agreement
◦ it, its, it’s
◦ “it is . . .”, “there is . . .”, “there are . . .” structures; avoid these.
They are passive and vague.
Use the past tense, not the present.
 Comma splice or run-on sentence, such as
He picked up the ball, he ran down the field.
Sally does not know where he is he is not here.
These are grammatically incorrect.

◦ Plurals -- don’t make them by using an “apostrophe s”.
Inverted Pyramid checklist continued…
Short paragraphs -- any paragraph more than
three sentences is definitely too long; any
paragraph that is three sentences is probably too
long.
 Wordiness -- have you checked for too much
verbiage, redundancies, unnecessary repetitions,
etc.
 Name, title -- When you put the title before a
name, do not separate them with commas, such as

◦ (WRONG): Game warden, Brad Fisher, arrested
the trespassers.
◦ When the name comes before the title, the title should
be set off by commas.
 Brad Fisher, the game warden, arrested the trespassers.
Inverted Pyramid checklist continued…
Transitions -- use them to tie your paragraphs
together. Don’t jump from one subject to another
in a new paragraph without giving the reader some
warning.
 Don’t copy the wording of the information sheet.
 Names -- check them once more to make sure
they are spelled correctly.
 The errors above are some of the most common
that beginning writing students make in writing
inverted pyramid news stories. Get into the habit
of checking them on the story assignments that
you get in your lab.
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Review Chapter 6
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Identify the types of news leads and their
elements
Write news leads
Organize news stories
Inverted Pyramids
Be accurate and objective
Use third person point of view
Use sentence length and structure that are
appropriate for journalistic writing
Use transitions
Reference Section
Schaffer, James, Randall McCutcheon and
Kathryn T. Stofer. Journalism Matters.
Lincolnwood: Contemporary, 2001.
 Bianchere, Amy,
http://sites.google.com/site/mrsbiancheri.
 http://www.jprof.com/writing/invertedpyra
midchecklist.html
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