AP Language and Composition
Beginnings (Adapted from The Language of Composition)
Name___________________________
“The History Teacher” by Billy Collins
Trying to protect his students' innocence
he told them the Ice Age was really just
the Chilly Age, a period of a million years
when everyone had to wear sweaters.
And the Stone Age became the Gravel Age,
named after the long driveways of the time.
The Spanish Inquisition was nothing more
than an outbreak of questions such as
"How far is it from here to Madrid?"
"What do you call the matador's hat?"
The War of the Roses took place in a garden,
and the Enola Gay dropped one tiny atom
on Japan.
The children would leave his classroom
for the playground to torment the weak
and the smart,
mussing up their hair and breaking their glasses,
while he gathered up his notes and walked home
past flower beds and white picket fences,
wondering if they would believe that soldiers
in the Boer War told long, rambling stories
designed to make the enemy nod off.
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Discussion:
1) How would you describe the approach of the history teacher towards his teaching?
2) What is the effect of juxtaposing the teacher’s version of historical events with the description of the children when
they “would leave his classroom / for the playground”?
3) What is the speaker’s attitude toward the history teacher? Is he critical? Admiring? Amused? Cite specific lines to
support your response?
4) Does this poem make an argument or ask a question? What is the argument of the question? Consider the title as you
explore these questions?
5) What is your attitude toward the history teacher? When does protection become lying? Is it a matter of degree?
Intent? How do you think this teacher would present the events of September 11, 2001?
To what extent do our schools serve the goals of true education? What makes a person educated? Is a skilled artisan with
no formal schooling educated? Is a wise grandmother with eighty years of life experience but only a third-grade
education educated? Is Bill Gates, who dropped out of Harvard as a junior to found Microsoft, more or less educated than
his classmates who stayed in school? When we are seeking education, are we looking for knowledge, wisdom, skills, or all
three?
Homework: In a well- typed, one-page response, your task is to tell me the purpose of education. Questions to consider
while writing: What do you value? What have you accomplished to date? Do you regret certain decisions you have
made in the past? Where do you see yourself going in life and how is your education going to help you get there? What
challenges do you anticipate? What motivates you to succeed?
Manuscript Form
Written work—regardless of length (i.e. formal, critical analysis, reactions, etc.) for this class must be typed unless
otherwise directed. You should ALWAYS save drafts and final essays as submitted. It is strongly suggested that each
student invest in a flash/jump/thumb drive for this purpose and for transporting files. If you do not have access to a
computer / word processer at home, you can always use school computers. As is the case in any college writing course,
you will need to budget time carefully. Do not expect that time will be given in class to work on essays.
General Guidelines for the Typed Essay:
Unless otherwise directed, your printed page should be formatted as follows:
 Use margins of 1” top, bottom, left, right
 Double space
 Include first and last name, course identification and “A” / “B” day + class period, and date essay is submitted on
each assignment. This information should be placed in the upper-left hand corner of your paper, double-spaced.
When appropriate, also include an additional assignment label (see example below)
John Johnson
AP English III- “A” Day / 3rd Block
August 29th, 2011
Purpose of Education Response

In accordance with MLA suggestions for formatting the formal essay, you will typically place your last name and
the page number in the upper right-hand corner of each page (i.e. Johnson 1). A little experimenting with the
Header/Footer functions of most word processing programs should make this a fairly simple task.

All typed work should be formatted in either Times New Roman or Ariel 12 font size.

Papers that are not formatted correctly will lose points and receive a significantly lower grade.

Grammar / spell checking functions are useful tools; however, they are not replacements for your brain. Do not
rely on them.
NOTE: You are responsible for the use of technology. Computer / printer problems are not excuses for late work. I do
not accept late papers via e-mail unless you are absent on the due date. No papers will be accepted late.