Chris Warren, M.Ed.
Director of Community Engagement,
Domestic Violence Network
GOALS
• Differences between healthy relationships and
healthy ones
• Myths and facts about dating abuse
• Helping friends experiencing dating abuse
not-so
TAKE FIVE
Complete the handout
Using the post-it,
Write
Why is this important to you?
Place post-it under the trait
WHAT ARE “RELATIONSHIPS”
LIKE TODAY?
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF
A RELATIONSHIP IS GOOD?
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF
A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT-SO GOOD?
TAKE FIVE
Take five minutes to read through the handout and circle any
“new-to-you” information or
anything that is interesting
WHAT IS DATING ABUSE?
Dating Abuse
is about
CONTROL
Violence is often a
byproduct of the
perceived loss of control
MYTHS ABOUT
TEEN DATING ABUSE
Violence is just physical
Manipulation/emotional control
Threats to harm you or him/herself
 Looking through your phone
Excessive texting/communication
Encouraging fights between you and friends/family
Adults know when relationships are violent
It’s obvious when
someone is physically
abusive
People who experience dating abuse are uneducated, poor, “low class”, or
minorities
MYTHS ABOUT
TEEN DATING ABUSE
Teen Dating Abuse Rarely Happens
 Nearly half of domestic violence occurs between the
ages of 16-24
(Herman 2009).
HOW COMMON IS
TEEN DATING ABUSE?
35%
Of youth in the U.S.
is a victim of
physical, sexual, or emotional abuse
from a dating partner
CDC, 2014
HOW COMMON IS
TEEN DATING ABUSE?
9th-12th grade girls in the United States have been
Raped
St. Mary’s College, 2013
HOW COMMON IS
TEEN DATING ABUSE?
15%
9th-12th grade girls in Indiana have been
Raped
St. Mary’s College, 2013
HOW COMMON IS
TEEN DATING ABUSE?
Almost 70%
of youth in
abusive relationships will not
tell their parents
(Claiborne, 2009)
BEHAVIOR OF THOSE BEING ABUSED
• Withdrawal from social activities that do not include partner
• Chronic illness such as gastrointestinal problems
• Significant changes in appearance/behavior
• Change in academic performance
• Social isolation unless accompanied by partner
• Disconnected from family
These behaviors are signs of abuse when they are done out of
fear from the person they are romantically involved with.
(CDC, 2009)
BEHAVIORS OF THOSE ABUSING
• Jealous outbursts at partner’s friends/family
• Withdrawal from activities based on time commitment
• Public shaming or humiliation of partner (no matter how minor)
• Need to be center of attention in social settings
• Typically charming/respectful to authority figures to avoid
(CDC 2009)
suspicion or questioning
(CDC, 2009)
BEHAVIORS OF COUPLES
IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
• ALWAYS together, but rarely happy
• Constant texting and anxiety over missing a message
• Anxious, sad, or upset when having to separate
• Changing appearance to appear more alike
(matching tattoos, piercings, etc.)
• One partner is living with the other’s family
(or permitted to sleep over frequently)
(CDC 2009)
These behaviors are signs of abuse when they are done out of
fear from the person they are romantically involved with.
IT HAPPENED ONCE,
NOW WHAT???
• Violence is an option in the relationship now
• Violence is usually periodic
• Perpetrators usually make themselves the victims
• Victims carefully try to keep the peace
IT HAPPENED ONCE,
NOW WHAT???
IT HAPPENED ONCE,
NOW WHAT???
IT HAPPENED ONCE,
NOW WHAT???
HOW DO PEOPLE
GET OUT OF THIS???
• Talk to someone you trust
• Get help from professionals-call or text!
• Keep a record of the abuse
You may need it as evidence if you have
to take legal action
HOW DO PEOPLE
GET OUT OF THIS???
• Do not meet the abuser alone
• Don’t get even, just get away!
What if they won’t stay away?
• Develop a plan and rehearse what you will do
if abuse continues
If it is at this level, talk to a professional
either in person, on the phone, or text
READ THROUGH THE SCENARIO
1. What is the best course of action for this person?
2. Possible responses/barriers?
3. What are the next steps?
HOW CAN WE SUPPORT FRIENDS?
HOW CAN WE SUPPORT FRIENDS?
HOW CAN WE SUPPORT FRIENDS?
HOW CAN WE SUPPORT FRIENDS?
HOW DO WE PREVENT ABUSE?
 Look out for your friends
 Don’t allow people to make sexist or homophobic comments
 See something, say something
 Know the signs of control that lead to abuse
 Start a “No More” Club!
LIFELINE LAW
The Indiana Lifeline Law provides immunity
from underage and public intoxication laws for
who call the police
in response to a crime,
sexual offense,
or health emergency.
individuals or groups
WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE?
Text Message Support
Text: 22522
Type: loveis
QUESTIONS?
for more information, visit:
dvnconnect.org
REFERENCES
American Institute for Research (2014). Get Smart Get Safe. from AIR website.
Avon Foundation for Women (2013). No More Domestic Violence and Sexual
Assault, Survey of Attitudes and Experiences of Teens and Adults. from
Avon Foundation for Women website.
Black MC, Basile KC, Breiding MJ, Smith SG, Walters ML, Merrick MT, Chen J,
Stevens MR. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence
Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for
Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (20114. Understanding Teen Dating
Violence-United States.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2011). Youth Risk Behavioral
Surveillance—United States. MMWR 2012;61(No.SS-4).
Impact of the Economy and Parent/Teen Dialogue on Dating Relationships and
Abuse. (2009). Conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited for the Family
Violence Prevention Fund and Liz Claiborne.
Davis, Antoinette, MPH. (2008). Interpersonal and Physical Dating Violence
among Teens. The National Council on Crime and Delinquency Focus
Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice and Statistics (2006). Intimate Partner
Violence in the United States, 1993-2004.
Draucker, C. B., & Martsolf, D. S. (2010). The Role of Electronic Communication
Technology. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 133142.
Simon, T. R., Miller, S.,Gorman-Smith, D., Orpinas, P., Sullivan, T. (2010).
Physical dating violence norms and behavior among sixth-grade students
from four U.S. sites. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 30(3), 395-409,
first published on March 30, 2009.
St. Mary of the Wood College, (2013). “Status of Girls in Indiana.”
The NO MORE Project . "Dating Abuse Statistics." www.loveisrespect.org.
Accessed April 22, 2014. .