WHEN MEN MURDER WOMEN
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
Rebecca Emerson Dobash & Russell P. Dobash
Professors Emeriti, Criminology, School of Law, University of Manchester, UK
Scottish Women’s Aid Seminar to coincide with the publication of
‘When Men Murder Women’, Oxford University Press, New York
City Council Chambers (Midlothian Suite)
Edinburgh
27 October, 2015
OVERVIEW
 What
thinking? Depends on who is thinking, and extends to all
 Thinking
 Cultural
in Pictures & Words
Context – history, popular culture & modern advertising
 Thinking About Thinking
 Accounts:
 Quotes

 In
- theorizing
from Abusers & Murderers
from murderers about:
denial, problems with women, orientations to murder, responsibility, blame,
lack of empathy/remorse
Prison

Resistance to change

Challenges to working with men who murder – Resistance

Men who engage in the process of change
Men in abusers groups
What are they thinking?
Abuser confronts police
Child, father/abuser,
What is abuser thinking?
police
What is police officer thinking?
what is each thinking?
WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? ... WHAT ARE THEY DOING
WHAT ARE THEY LEARNING?
...
What Were They Thinking – Some Relevant Factors
His relationship with the woman he murders
His view of women in general & of the woman he murders:
sense of ownership, authority, control, privilege,
entitlements:
-entitled to ‘respect’, authority, obedience, woman’s work, sex …
His previous violence against woman victim/ other women
His view of his violence:
blame victim, minimize violence, deny responsibility,
lack empathy with victim & remorse for murder
Change essential in the process of reform
THINKING – LEARNING - ACTING
As individuals:
We think in pictures ...we think in words
Sometimes we think something when we are not really thinking
straight because we are drunk, high, dreaming or fantasizing
We also think/learn/act within wider cultural contexts that contain
notions and images about:
- men, women, and relationships between men and women
- some are positive while others are negative and depict coercion,
violence and even murder (usually by men against women) …
MEN IN RELATION TO WOMEN
CULTURAL CONTEXTS
HISTORY, POPULAR CULTURE & ADVERTISING
About women:
-Objectification, Sexualisation & Violence
About violence/murder:
-Rationalizations, justifications, minimisation, lack of
empathy or remorse for violence against women
-
… some visual thoughts, lessons, and actions
VIOLENCE & MURDER OF WOMEN
IN HISTORY, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE & ADVERTISING
-silence a wife,
-rape for fun&pleasure
Cookbook - Animal’s body-whole Animal’s body-cut into parts
MODERN ADVERTISING USING CONCEPT FROM TRADITIONAL COOKBOOKS
BODY PARTS OF A WOMAN BEFORE & AFTER BUTCHERING
THINKING ABOUT THINKING
..
Techniques
of Neutralization
-rationalize and prepare groundwork for
subsequent act/s (Sykes & Matza, 1957)
Accounts of ‘untoward behaviour’
-excuses: act ‘wrong’ but deny
responsibility
-justifications: ‘act’ is permissible,
-‘alter-casting’ the self (not like me)
(Scott & Lyman, 1968)
Sociology of Apology’ (Tavuchis, 1991)
-techniques for avoiding responsibility:
-remain silent, challenge validity of
facts/details, question motives of others,
complete denial, self-pity,
inauthentic remorse, empathy & self-blame
..
Violence, Moral Thought &
Action (Bandura, 1991)
-basis of cognitive behavioural
programs for offenders
Justifications include:
-blaming victim/others,
-dehumanize/impersonalize,
-disregard/distort consequences,
-disown act, deny agency,
-claim high moral purpose
ACCOUNTS – HE SAYS…
-Entering the narrative at points that blame the woman…
-Selective forgetting/remembering about – circumstances, events, violence
-Claim amnesia: ‘I don’t remember anything’ … ‘total loss of memory’
-Deny: ‘Nothing happened’; … ‘I didn’t do it’
-Rationalize: ‘I had just lost my job’, … ‘I was drunk’, …
-Discount/minimize: ‘It wasn’t that bad, … Others have done worse’
-Blame the woman:
‘If she hadn’t ………; If she had …….…’
-Blame alcohol, and/or drugs: ‘It was the drink’;… I was high’
-Blame Loss of control: ‘I just lost it’ …
-His Intentions:
‘to frighten her; … to punish her; … to destroy her’
Problems with Women in Intimate Relationships
Separation
Problems with Women
Throughout his adult life], he has
‘The relationship deteriorated & she
displayed evidence of a difficulty in
wished to terminate it. In an effort
maintaining stable relationships
to dissuade her, he carried out a
with women .
prolonged and vicious attack’.
Authority & Control:
‘ She come with a mouthful, so I
broke her record player & poured
paint on her clothes to stop her
from going out’.
‘Changing the Project’
‘She made various attempts to break
off the relationship. He had made
up his mind what he was going to
do with the woman who no longer
wanted his attention,
she was going to die’.
HE SAYS:
Denying Previous Violence, Denying Murder
Deny murder:
Deny previous violence to victim
‘I couldn’t believe it. It actually took ‘He says he only ever hit is wife once
me six years to accept the fact that
before but denies a long standing
she was actually dead.
history of domestic violence’
‘He continues to claim death was an
accident – she fell on his knife’
‘I never thought my wife had died. I
thought she was in a deep sleep.’
‘It did come to blows with my wife. If
I remember, I only hit her twice’
HE SAYS: Admit Murder but
Deny Responsibility & Blame the Victim
Deny Responsibility for murder
‘He presents his behavior as a mystery
he can’t solve and isn’t responsible
for.
‘It is convenient for him to see himself
as mentally ill.’
He sees it as a domestic offense and the
tariff as too high.
‘The police said this was premeditated.
He says it was an accident that
happened while he was drunk’.
Blame the Victim
‘He has no real insight into the
circumstances leading up to the
offence, and claims she was a
very bossy woman’.
He insists this stemmed out of
severe provocation from his
wife… He says she had gone on
and on at him, he ‘snapped’
and reached for a hammer. He
viewed her as a ‘nagging,
ungrateful wife’ and himself as
a ‘bullied husband’.
HE SAYS:
Admits Murder but lacks remorse or empathy
Lack of Empathy & Remorse
‘I could find no evidence of
‘He is extremely dangerous, a
spontaneous empathy or
complete absence of
appropriate remorse apart
remorse, compassion or pity
from the effect on himself. …
for his victim’
and illustrated a lack of
consequential thinking.’
‘The last thing he said in
‘He showed very little emotions
interview was, …all this
while recounting the details of
happened because I felt they
his offense and there was little
[the victims] deserved to be
to indicate any remorse’.
taught a lesson’
HE SAYS:
Resist Engaging in the Process of Change
Prison Interview, WomanPsychologist
Prison Programmes
‘He used direct, fixed eye contact
‘At first, he presented as highly
throughout the interview and when motivated saying he wanted to
challenged about aspects of the
become a better person & not
offence his tone of voice and evident cause any further harm to others
irritation led me to believe that if I
but he tended to lapse into self pity
was to carry on with the line of
& to use minimizations &
questioning he may have become
distortions.’
angry or even aggressive towards ‘Despite initial positive assessments
me. This deterred me from asking
on a violent offender’s program,
certain questions of him. His
he...was not willing to
behavior towards me during the
acknowledge he had a problem
interview gives cause for concern
with his violence & therefore saw
given that his offense consisted of
little need to apply himself to the
violence towards a female.’
program’.
What Were They Thinking?- 4 TYPES of murder compared
MxM n=424
IPM n=105
SexM n=98
Dobash &
Dobash
O.Wo n=40
100
90
80
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
0
Prob.Women
RiskPublic
Uncoop.prof
NoRemorse
NoEmpathy
MentalHea
Drunk
Challenges to working with men who murder women
– Forms of Resistance Refuses to talk to anyone (denies, doesn’t remember, not his fault,
…..
Refuses to enter into process of change
Refuses to discuss various issues with professionals, including:
the murder, violence against women, orientation to women,
relationships with women, problems of alcohol/drugs……
Offers an Inauthentic apology and/or remorse
Objectifies woman victim
Self pity
Egocentric, effect of the murder/conviction/prison on HIS LIFE
HE SAYS:
Men who engage in the Process of Change
Starting to take responsibility Q: Any negative feelings about your
childhood?
‘He remains motivated to
address all of his offending ‘No, Not really, at the end of the
day you end up here because
behaviour’
of yourself. That’s it.’
‘I was at fault, totally, but I
‘Totally wrong -these thingswas looking for something
gotta carry them with me
[to blame]. Others give
through my life. I can’t blame
excuses… but at the end of
anybody else whereas I’ve
the day you’ve got to live
always blamed other people.
with yourself, and it’s me
Today I can’t. I have to take
who’s got to live with it.’
responsibility for everything.’
RELEVANT PUBLICATIONS
2015, Dobash, R. Emerson & Dobash, Russell P.,
When Men Murder Women, Oxford University Press, New York &
Oxford.
2011, What were they thinking? Men who murder an intimate
partner. Violence Against Women, 17:111-132.
2001, Cavanagh, K, R.E. Dobash, R.P.Dobash & R. Lewis,
Remedial Work: Men’s Stragategic Responses to Their Violence
Against Intimate Female Partners, Sociology, 35:695-714.