English 9A: Persuasion Vocabulary: 1 English 9A: Persuasion Writing an Essay that Evaluates the Strengths and Weaknesses of Competing Arguments Steps in the Process 1. Look for the thesis (may be included in the title) 2. Look for supporting arguments a. It helps if you can recognize different types of appeals i. Logical: based on facts (including statistics) and other things that can be proven ii. Ethical: 1. based on the credibility of the author (or the experts he/she cites) 2. based on agreed-upon values iii. Emotional 1. based on feelings associated with a particular point of view 3. Look for evidence used for supporting arguments a. facts, expert opinion, loaded words, etc 4. Look for any counterarguments and attempts to refute them 5. Look for fallacies such as contradictions, ad hominems, red herrings, etc. 6. Organize your findings in an outline or with a double-bubble map a. Outline i. arrange your findings according 1. to the type of appeal 2. counterarguments and refutation 3. fallacies b. Double-Bubble Map i. Write what the authors have in common in the middle bubbles (such as similar topics) ii. write in the outer bubbles what the authors disagree about with respect to each of the items in the middle bubbles Annotate everything! 2 English 9A: Persuasion A Weighty Case INTRODUCTION 1) Crowds of students once streamed toward Smith High School just before the first bell, headed for their lockers to deposit their bulging backpacks crammed with text books, three-ring Anecdote binders, library books, paper, pens, calculators, and perhaps track shoes, lunches, and extra sweat shirts. However, now they are out of luck. Now there is no rest for the weary and heavy-laden at Background Information Smith High School, where lockers have been removed by school administrators because of their concerns about crowded hallways and tardiness. As a result, Smith High School students carry Opinion statement their heavy backpacks all day—an unfortunate situation that will cause other serious problems for students and should be changed. 2) According to a school announcement, the decision to remove the lockers was prompted primarily by congested hallways. During every passing period between classes, clumps of students BODY Description of causes filled the halls so that other students could not get to class on time. Tardiness had become a real issue for the administration and teachers. In addition, Dr. Jones, principal of Smith High School, believed that locker maintenance had become an enormous effort. He explained in a school bulletin, “Keeping the lockers in good shape has been an ongoing problem. . . . Besides, when students go off to college, they will not have lockers, so they might as well learn to be organized now, instead of later.” The school administration’s answer for the congested hallways, tardiness, and Dr. Jones’s opinions was to remove the lockers from the high school. 3) Without lockers, students have been forced to carry heavy backpacks all day. This Effect 1: Logical appeal situation creates not only an inconvenience, but also a health risk. Two recent studies show that carrying an overloaded backpack can result in serious muscle strain in a student’s back and shoulders. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission announced last year that 5,900 Evidence: Case studies \ Evidence: Statistics students were treated at various health care sites, emergency rooms, clinics, and doctors’ offices for injuries caused by backpacks. In addition, 58 percent of the doctors surveyed by the American Evidence: Facts Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons reported that they had treated students for pain caused by carrying heavy backpacks. 4) Alexa Nuñez, a local chiropractor, confirms the findings of the two studies by reporting an increase in the number of high school students who suffer from back and neck pain caused by Evidence: Expert opinion carrying heavy backpacks. She says, “Students are carrying heavy backpacks slung over one shoulder and increasing their risk of injury.” Nuñez also says that the American Chiropractic Evidence: Quotation Association recommends that a backpack should weigh no more than 10 percent of the student’s Evidence: Statistics body weight, or no more than 15 pounds. A backpack full of textbooks and supplies, however, Ethical appeal weighs 25 or 30 pounds. Asking students to carry this weight all day means ignoring basic health guidelines. 5) What happens physically to a student carrying a heavy backpack? First affected is the spinal column, made up of thirty-three vertebrae, each cushioned by a disk to prevent the vertebrae Effect 2: Logical appeal Evidence: Facts from rubbing against one another. If a student carries a backpack loaded with five or six 1,000- 3 English 9A: Persuasion page books, the force of the weight pulls him backward, forcing the spine into awkward positions and prohibiting the disks from doing an adequate job of cushioning the vertebrae. Even if the backpack is carried on both shoulders, the student compensates for the backpack’s weight by leaning forward to keep from falling backward. To see where he is going and to stay balanced as he walks, the student lifts his head in an unnatural position. His front neck muscles tighten, also contributing to muscle strain in his neck and shoulders. 6) In addition, constantly carrying a heavy backpack “flattens the natural curve in the lower back,” says Jan Richardson, president of the American Physical Therapy Association. Such Evidence: Expert opinion flattening of the lower back results in chronic poor posture and leads to back and neck pain. Even worse, if the student carries a backpack over only one shoulder, the backpack’s strap digs into his Evidence: Facts shoulder, cutting off proper circulation and causing a tingling in his hands and a weakness in his arms. It may also contribute to a temporary curvature of the spine. Straps that are not adjusted properly may cause nerve damage in the collarbone area. If students suffer the effects of a heavy backpack at this young age, consider what happens when they move into the work force. Currently, working Americans suffer most from back pain, “costing the U. S. economy as much as Evidence: Quotation $50 billion annually in lost wages and productivity,” according to one study. 7) To help students manage the restrictions of a lockerless school and a heavy backpack Effect 3: Ethical appeal school day, Mrs. Yablonsky, Smithville’s physical education instructor, has taken time out of all her classes this semester to teach students exercises, specifically designed to help them correct Evidence: Anecdote their postures and to counteract the effects of carrying heavy backpacks. In the class I attended last week, she asked each student to stand before a mirror at home and check to see if one shoulder is higher than the other. She requested that the students check their postures, their head positions, and their knees and to look for any slouching or slumping positions. The students have to do 10 or 15 minutes of daily exercises at home—stomach crunches and pushups held for 10 seconds—in order to develop stronger muscles. 8) She also provided a checklist for choosing a kind of backpack that would best serve Evidence: Facts each student’s needs. Backpacks should have two, well-padded straps and a belt strap. Students should use all three kinds of straps, not just sling their backpacks over their shoulders. Backpacks should have several compartments to distribute the load, and students should load their backpacks with the heavier items closer to their backs, not stuffed at the bottom, as students usually do. Loading backpacks in this manner means that the students’ legs are carrying most of their weight, not their backs. 9) Mrs. Yablonski demonstrated the correct way to pick up a backpack and then had all of us in the class practice with our own normally loaded backpacks. We had to face our backpack Evidence: Facts before lifting it, bend our knees, and using both hands, check the weight of our backpack by picking up our backpack a little from the floor to see if it was too heavy. If it felt heavy, we had to take at least one book from our backpacks. Then from a bent-knee position, we lifted our 4 English 9A: Persuasion backpacks with our legs, not our backs, carefully putting on both straps and attaching the waist strap. After we had all put on our backpacks the correct way, she encouraged us students to use this procedure at all times—even in the rush to get from one class to another. 10) As part of the classroom exercises, Mrs. Yablonski instructed the students to first lie Evidence: Anecdote flat on the floor, face up, and push their lower backs to the floor several times in a passive stretch. Standing, the students shrugged their shoulders, counted ten, released, and repeated the shrug for several times. Still standing, the students reached up as high as they could, one arm at a time, for several times. Finally, the students extended their arms in front, palms up, stretching outward, and repeating for several times. Performing all of these exercises made me aware of the importance of good posture, of the importance of carrying my backpack correctly, and of the dangers associated with carrying heavy backpacks, as all students at Smithville High School now have to do. 11) Besides the harm caused by carrying these backpacks, there is an additional danger Effect 4: Emotional appeal once students get to class. Because a stuffed backpack cannot fit under a desk, it ends up jamming the aisle. As a result, students and teachers cannot move freely around the classroom, and they Evidence: Example may trip and fall. In case of a fire or even a fire drill, what if a student stumbles on a backpack, falls, and smashes her head? In the rush to escape, what if no one notices her? Is this a risk that Emotional appeal Smith High administrators are willing to take? 12) Because of the hardships imposed on students by the school administration’s decision, I ask for one of the following actions. First, I urge the school administration to reconsider its Conclusion Call to action decision and restore the lockers for student use at least before school, during lunch, and after school. If students used their lockers at these times, they would not fill the halls during the passing Counterclaim addressed periods, risk being tardy, or jam the aisles. The students would have to carry only half of their day’s required books and perhaps cut the weight of their backpacks in half. 13) Second, if the school cannot reinstall the lockers for some reason, I request that the Another call to action school remedy the situation with a widely discussed and widely used method: Issue two sets of textbooks—one for the classroom and one for home. Many principals in other areas strongly Fact support the dual textbook method. By having several classes share the classroom’s set of books, Dr. Valdez, of Coronado High School in nearby Granger, estimates that the cost of providing the Expert Opinion class set of books is only 10 or 15 percent higher than if the district did not purchase the class set. 14) Everyone is concerned about student health, but the school should not expose students Commonly held belief to real health risks in order to prevent possible, but highly unlikely, risks. Removing the lockers was a mistake because of the problems it has created for the students. To correct its mistake, Smith Restatement of opinion High School should reinstall the lockers or issue another set of textbooks for each student. Final statement from Expanded Writer’s Model: Persuading with Cause and Effect 5 English 9A: Persuasion Make an outline for “A Weighty Case” 1. Identify the topic (thesis) 2. Identify the main categories a. Create subcategories 6 English 9A: Persuasion Do Something Good for the Earth 1) Garbage! It smells bad and looks disgusting. Most people think about trash only when they take it out. People in the United States should be thinking about garbage more, however, because they throw away 40 percent of all the garbage in the world. The solution to this problem is recycling. Recycling is the best way to preserve natural resources and to reduce the costs of Introduction Attention getter Background Information Opinion Statement processing garbage. 2) By recycling, we can prevent our country from being buried in trash. Much of the citizens produce yearly, about 42 percent is paper (from trees), 8 percent is glass, 9 percent is metal Body Reason 1: Emotional appeal (from ore, a natural resource), 7 percent is plastic (from petroleum, a natural resource), 8 percent is Evidence: Statistics garbage that is now tossed out could be recycled. Of the 200 million tons of garbage that U.S. food waste, and 18 percent is yard waste. Government officials estimate that 60 percent of all this trash could be recycled. Environmentalists suggest a much higher figure—as much as 70 to 90 percent. 3) Recycling more of our garbage can also save precious resources. My grandfather says the thick forests that once surrounded my hometown have nearly vanished. By recycling Reason 2: Logical appeal Evidence: Anecdote newspapers, we can rescue trees from destruction. For example, recycling could help save some of the fifty thousand trees that are sacrificed every week to produce Sunday newspapers in the United States. We can also save water and energy by recycling. Recycling paper instead of making it from trees reduces the amount of water used to make the paper by 60 percent and the amount of energy Evidence: Example Evidence: Facts and Statistics by 70 percent. Aluminum cans show the biggest savings from recycling. To produce a can from recycled aluminum takes 95 percent less energy than from ore. Reason 3: Ethical Appeal 4) Recycling more can reduce the mountains of garbage we produce—and reduce the costs associated with all the landfills where the garbage is dumped. Garbage does not just disappear after it is hauled away. It usually goes into landfills—many of which have created toxic pollution problems and enormous cleanup costs. People often object to recycling by saying that it costs too Evidence: Facts Counterclaim addressed Evidence: expert opinion much. Brenda Platt of the Institute for Local Self-Reliance says, “Studies have concluded that recycling costs less than traditional trash collection and disposal when communities achieve high levels of recycling.” Therefore, people should understand that recycling actually saves money by reducing waste and by eliminating the costs that go along with solid-waste disposal and landfill cleanup. 5) Much of what is thrown away now can be recycled. Anyone who loves the earth can help make it a better place by recycling. Garbage makes our shared home, this planet, less livable Conclusion Restated opinion Summary of reasons Call to action for the people of today and for the children of tomorrow. People have caused this garbage crisis, and only people can solve it. Do you care enough to do your part by recycling? from A Writer’s Model 7 English 9A: Persuasion Make an outline for “Do Something Good for the Earth” 1. Identify the topic (thesis) 2. Identify the main categories a. Create subcategories 8 English 9A: Persuasion Rising Tides By Bob Herbert Published on Thursday, February 22, 2001 in the New York Times The easiest approach for the time being is to pretend it's not happening. It's better for the nerves in the short run to remain riveted by the Clinton follies or the latest shenanigans on "Temptation Island" than to acknowledge that the majestic ice cap atop Mount Kilimanjaro, which seemed for so long to be an almost permanent feature of the planet, will vanish in less than 15 years. It's February and it's cold in New York, which can help us maintain the fiction that the planet is not warming at a scary rate. But the snows are disappearing from Kilimanjaro, and a few years ago scientists were astonished when a mammoth fragment of the Larsen Ice Shelf at the edge of the Antarctic Peninsula collapsed like a window shattered by a rock. The fragment had measured 48 miles by 22 miles and was hundreds of feet thick. It eventually disappeared. Many strange things are happening. The seasons are changing, rainstorms are becoming more intense, sea levels are rising, mighty glaciers are receding, the permafrost (by definition, the permanently frozen subsoil in the polar regions) is thawing, trees are flowering earlier, insects are emerging sooner, and so on. Global warming is not coming, it's here. There are likely to be some beneficial results in some areas from the warming, such as longer growing seasons and increased crop yields in certain mid-latitude regions, and a decline in deaths related to extreme cold. But over all, the effects of this sharp and accelerating and largely artificial warming of the planet including the consequences of such extreme events as droughts, floods, heat waves, avalanches and tropical storms are potentially catastrophic. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, in a report released Tuesday in Geneva, said, "More people are projected to be harmed than benefited by climate change, even for global mean temperature increases of less than a few degrees centigrade." The report also discussed an issue that has profound policy and ethical implications. The worst effects of global warming will probably not be felt by those most responsible for the pollution of the atmosphere by heattrapping greenhouse gases. The great industrial societies, which have benefited so long from the rapacious devouring of resources and the indiscriminate release of pollutants, are also the societies best positioned to cope with the treacherous forces of global warming. As the panel noted in its report, "The ability of human systems to adapt to and cope with climate change depends on such factors as wealth, technology, education, information, skills, infrastructure, access to resources, and management capabilities." Developing countries, deficient in those areas, are doomed to suffer disproportionately from the warming of the planet. "The effects of climate change," the panel said, "are expected to be greatest in developing countries in terms of loss of life and relative effects on investment and the economy." Despite the powerful and increasing evidence of the role of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases in the warming of the earth, the concentrations of those gases in the atmosphere are expected to increase, not decrease, over the next several decades. Government leaders are not responding to the problem with the sense of urgency that is called for. 9 English 9A: Persuasion Carbon dioxide doesn't just float away in a day or two. It remains in the atmosphere for more than 100 years. The consequences of our failure to act will last for centuries. Americans have a special responsibility here. The United States is the mightiest nation on the planet and the greatest contributor to the industrial component of global warming. The nation is wealthy and at peace. A mature approach would require certain sacrifices designed to provide a better environment for future generations of Americans and a more equitable relationship with neighbors around the world. But that's only one approach. Another is to just ignore the problem and continue to feast like gluttons at the table of the world's resources. That will work for awhile. Why not? All you have to do is convince yourself that damaging the planet is somebody else's problem. After reading ‘Rising Tides’ for the first time, write and answer the following questions on your group work paper: 1. What is the text about? 2. What are three important points or ideas in the text? 3. What is the purpose or intent of the text by Bob Herbert 10 English 9A: Persuasion World Café For the following conversation topics, consider whether you are in favor or against the approaches to dealing with the dropout problem. You must know (and list) the pros and cons of the ideas for you will have the opportunity to discuss them. Consider additional ideas people have for dealing with the dropout problem and what strengths and weaknesses of those ideas might be. 1. Conversation Topic: Bus students from high-achieving to low-achieving schools – and vise versa – in order to narrow the gap between successful and failing schools. Because schools are largely funded by local property taxes, this will mean that rich kids will be bused to poor schools and vise versa. 2. Conversation Topic: don’t assume everybody has what it takes to go to college – or necessarily ought to go. Expand vocational education programs and perhaps even “track” students into them. Vocational Schools are practical postsecondary education and job training programs that typically offer relatively short, career-focused programs that quickly prepare graduates for the workforce. 3. Conversation Topic: Pay kids to go to school, to get good grades, etc, and fine the parents of those who are truant or drop out. 4. Conversation Topic: Stop focusing so much attention on standardized tests. 5. Conversation Topic: Ending social promotion in junior high school as a way of lowering the high school drop-out rate. Social Promotion is the practice promoting a child to the next grade level regardless of skill mastery in the belief that it will promote self-esteem 6. Conversation Topic: Homework policy: limit how much it counts toward final grade to 10% 7. Conversation Topic: Make education a bigger part of students’ lives (by increasing the length and number of school days; by converting public schools into boarding schools) 8. Conversation Topic: No more co-educational schools. Place boys and girls in separate schools. 9. Conversation Topic: End free public education – make people pay for it from now on 10. Conversation Topic: Installing cameras in the classroom as a way of improving the quality of teaching and thereby keeping students from being bored – supposedly a major reason kids drop out. 11. Conversation Topic: Start middle and high schools no earlier than 10 am. You must propose a solution to the dropout problem, which solution do you believe will be most effective? Why? Would you change anything about this proposal (to make it better)? 11 English 9A: Persuasion Common Fallacies 1. Ignoring the burden of proof: failing to support one’s claim (ua: unsupported assertion) a. Ex: certain music should be banned (thesis) because it makes kids kill themselves (claim): i. What’s the evidence?(refutation) 2. Begging the question: to assume as true precisely what needs to be proven a. Ex: those arrested shouldn’t have lawyers present during questioning (thesis) because criminals don’t deserve such rights (premise). i. Assumes everyone that’s arrested is guilty (refutation) 3. Can lead to a circular argument: a. Ex: I agree with weintraub that parents are to blame for childhood obesity because I really believe he’s right. 4. Argumentum ad hominem: attacking your opponent instead of your opponent’s ideas a. Ex: why would anyone accept Obama’s plans for job growth? (thesis) he never had any business experience before he took office (claim) 5. Extension: exaggerating/distorting a person’s argument to make them look bad a. Ex: do you like carne asada? No? What do you have against Mexicans? 6. Leads to so-called “straw man” (see #15): a person who can’t win an argument any other way might attempt to paint his opponent as a racist 7. Red herring: intentionally trying to change the subject a. Ex: "why should I study math? I don't want to be a math teacher. Teachers don’t make any money and have to babysit kids all day. b. Daughter: "I'm so hurt that Todd broke up with me, Mom." Mother: "Just think of all the starving children in Africa, honey. Your problems will seem pretty insignificant then." 8. Appeal to pity: used to avoid having to defend a logical appeal a. Ex: "ladies and gentlemen of the jury, look at this miserable man, in a wheelchair, unable to use his legs. Could such a man really be guilty of embezzlement?" b. Ex: Teacher: “Did you do the homework?” Student: Well, you see it’s difficult…” 9. Hasty generalization: making a conclusion about a group based on one’s experience with a few individuals one associates with that group a. Ex: assuming all Chinese people are disgusting and rude after once sitting next to a few such individuals on a bus bench in Chinatown 10. Stereotype: judging individuals according to one’s opinion of the group you associate them with a. Automatically assuming the Chinese person one meets is going to be rude and disgusting because of perceptions about the Chinese in general 11. Either-or fallacy: failure to consider other alternatives (a situation in which only two alternatives are considered, when in fact there are additional possibilities) a. Ex: "it wasn't medicine that cured Mrs. X, so it must have been a miracle." 12 English 9A: Persuasion b. Ex: Either you believe in God, or you go to hell. 12. Oversimplified cause: mistaking a possibly contributory cause for a sufficient one a. Ex: so-called “suicide rock” should be banned so teens stop taking their own lives. i. (it’s possible that listening to certain types of music might make a particular person commit suicide, but it’s obvious that it doesn’t have that effect on everyone) b. Ex: School violence has gone up and academic performance has gone down ever since organized prayer was banned at public schools. Therefore, prayer should be reintroduced, resulting in school improvement. 13. Unexamined analogy (false analogy): saying two things are similar when in fact they have significant differences a. ex: we ought to install metal detectors at schools because they work in prisons 14. False authority: relying on the opinion of a non-expert. a. Ex: buying a Toyota because Kobe recommends it 15. Post hoc ergo propter hoc: “after this, therefore because of this” (you assume x caused y just because x happened first) a. Ex: "I can't help but think that you are the cause of this problem; we never had any problem with the furnace until you moved into the apartment." b. Ex: “I prayed for rain then it rained, therefore prayer works” i. Think about superstitions 16. Non-sequitur: one’s conclusion does not follow logically from one’s evidence a. Ex: "o. J. Simpson is in the pro football hall of fame. He couldn't have murdered his wife. b. Ex: Buddy Burger has the greatest food in town. Buddy Burger was voted #1 by the local paper. Therefore, Phil, the owner of Buddy Burger, should run for President of the United States. 17. Straw man: what’s created when an argument is grossly (extremely) distorted or misrepresented a. Ex: Bill and Jill are arguing about cleaning out their closets: Jill: "We should clean out the closets. They are getting a bit messy." Bill: "Why, we just went through those closets last year. Do we have to clean them out everyday?" Jill: "I never said anything about cleaning them out every day. You just want too keep all your junk forever, which is just ridiculous." 13 English 9A: Persuasion Logical Fallacies Exercise The following statements are faulty because they are based on one or more logical fallacies. Your job is to identify which one(s) underlies each. 1. “Of course he’s guilty. If he were innocent, he would have disproved those charges long ago.” 2. “Careful research shows that many of the most successful people have large vocabularies. This proves that the way to be successful is to develop a large vocabulary.” 3. “Frank and Jenny aren’t mature enough to get married since they’re just teenagers, and teenagers have the highest divorce rate of any age group. If teen were more mature, they would be able to make their marriages work.” 4. The president of a university says to professors at a faculty meeting: “we must give student athletes special consideration in our grading system, or our athletic program will suffer since everyone will be declared ineligible to play because of their bad grades.” 5. "I think that we should make the academic requirements stricter for students. I recommend that you support this because we are in a budget crisis and we do not want our salaries affected." 6. “Bill, you’re a superb mechanic; you seem to have a natural talent for detecting anything that’s wrong with a car and fixing it. Surely, then, you can analyze the rough drafts of your papers and turn them into quality essays.” 7. “Students here are rude. Last night some guys in the room next to mine played their stereo at full blast until two in the morning, and as I was on my way to class this morning a bicyclist almost ran me down.” 8. (from two people talking about sushi – a Japanese dish consisting of raw fish) a. “You know, I’ve never really been too crazy about sushi. I don’t like to eat any meat unless it’s cooked.” b. “You have no appreciation of Japanese culture. I bet you think chopsticks are stupid and that Japanese music sounds terrible. What do you have against Japan?” 9. “I went to a feminist meeting last night. The speakers were about as ugly a group of women as I’ve ever seen. No wonder they hate men. A man would have to be pretty desperate to want to have anything to do with them.” 10. “Oh come on, I've been sick. That's why I missed the deadline.” 11. “It comes down to this: either the U.S. should take control of Iraq in order to get rid of terrorists there or it should bomb that country to smithereens.” 14 English 9A: Persuasion 12. (from a conversation between two business owners) “I don’t know what the colleges are teaching nowadays. I just received a letter of application from a young man who graduated from the state university last June. It was a terrible letter – badly written, with basic mistakes in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. If that is the kind of product the university is turning out, it does not deserve the tax support it’s getting.” 13. “The argument that football is a dangerous sport is disproved very simply by showing that the death rate – not total deaths, but deaths per thousand – among high school, college, and professional players combined is much less than the death of the total population.” 14. “I dined in a London restaurant last summer, and the fish was so bad I couldn’t eat it. What’s more, a friend of mine traveled on a British ocean liner, and she said the menus were boring – practically everything was boiled beef and potatoes. The English seem to have no talent for cooking.” 15. “When the fuel light goes on in my car, I soon run out of gas. Therefore, the fuel light causes my car to run out of gas.” 16. “Bingo should be made illegal since so many elderly people like to play it.” 17. “I decided to buy an Apple computer because Kobe Bryant said in a TV commercial that it has the best graphic interface hardware.” 18. “He’s obviously lazy. Why else would he be living in such a dump?” 19. “Al Gore warns everybody about global warming, but he lives in a huge house and owns a lot of stock in a big oil company. In short, he’s a hypocrite. I guess we don’t need to be that concerned about the planet heating up.” 20. “I saw a local band last night that was supposedly old-school ska, but it didn’t even have a horn section – and everybody was moshin’ instead of skankin’. I guess people around here are pretty clueless about what ska really is.” 21. “I am a good worker because Frank says so. How can we trust Frank? Simple: I will vouch for him.” 22. “When the rooster crows, the sun rises. Therefore, the rooster causes the sun to rise.” 15 English 9A: Persuasion Arguments/Evidence in Support of Paying Kids to Go to School How would it work? (pay for grades? Pay for attendance? For a week, month, etc?) It’s working where it’s been tried Experts think it’s a great idea (Who? What is their title? What do they say?) Students think it’s a good idea (do a survey) Will cost how much (per day, per week, per month, per semester, per year, per four years?) How much money per year will be needed? o What percentage of LAUSD’s budget does that represent? What, if any, positive lessons would a student learn by getting paid? Arguments/Evidence against Paying Kids to Go to School Arguments/Evidence in Support Student IDs that Track Students Arguments/Evidence against Student IDs that Track Students How would it work (how much would they be fined and for what?) Evidence that it’s working where it’s been tried Evidence that experts think it’s a great idea (who? What is their title? What do they say?) Evidence that students/teachers/parents here think it’s a good idea (do a survey) How much money could the school possibly collect at the current rates of truancy? (what is the current rate of truancy? What would the money collected be spent on? Additional arguments/evidence in support of this idea Problems where it’s been tried Experts who think it’s a bad idea (Who? What is their title? What do they say?) Students who think it’s a bad idea (do a survey). What do they say? How much would schools have to pay students? (this might be part of the survey) o How much would this total for a whole year? o What percentage of LAUSD’s budget does that represent? What, if any, negative lessons would a student learn by getting paid? Other negative consequences of adopting this plan Where is it being practiced? Evidence that it isn’t working where it’s being practiced Problems in the comparison of these places to San Fernando Evidence that experts think it’s a bad idea (who? What is their title? What do they say?) Evidence that students/teachers/parents here think it’s a bad idea (do a survey) Additional arguments against this idea 16 English 9A: Persuasion Template for Financial Rewards & Penalties Use this template to list information you can use in summarizing an idea for dealing with the dropout problem that you disagree with, as well as for explaining (analyzing) what it is you don’t like about that idea. Summary: Paying Kids to Go to School Description of the idea. What does it entail? Who’s in favor of it? Where is it done? What are the reasons in favor of it? What evidence is there that it works? Analysis: Paying Kids to Go to School I. II. III. IV. V. 17 English 9A: Persuasion Summary: Fining Parents whose Kids are Truant Description of the approach Who is in favor? The reasons why Analysis: Fining Parents whose Kids are Truant I. II. III. 18 English 9A: Persuasion Sample Summary & Analysis of Financial Rewards & Penalties One idea for dealing with the dropout problem that has gained some attention of late relies on financial rewards and penalties. Chelsea High School in Boston is one institution that counts on the former to keep kids in school. It deposits $25 in an account that can’t be accessed until graduation for each quarter that a student has perfect attendance. A charter school in Illinois provides students with an even greater incentive: $50 each week for each student who doesn’t miss any classes. This school is advised by Michael Grady, St. Louis University professor of educational studies, who justifies the practice of paying kids on the grounds that “students can’t learn if they’re not in class” (Miller). Proponents also point to studies such as one conducted by the University of Southern California in the 1990s, which found that scores increase when kids are paid. When researchers there offered 8th graders $1 for every correct answer they got on a national math examination, they supposedly did 13% better (ibid). Education reformers have also taken note of the success of students attending the Providence St. Mel School in West Chicago who not only graduate on time but who go on to attend some of the nation’s most prestigious universities. Their successes – and the fact that they were financially compensated for them – were documented in a film entitled The Providence Effect. Unfortunately for proponents of this idea, there are a number of serious problems with it. As suggested by Richard Ryan, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, paying kids to go to school might actually make the attendance problem worse, as children with communicable illnesses will feel pressured to attend class – and thus spread whatever ailment they have – when they should stay home until they feel better (Miller). Another occasion when it is unreasonable to expect children to attend school would be when they have experienced a death in the family or when there is an emergency involving one or more of its members. With further regard to a child’s family, it’s been noted that unscrupulous parents may take advantage of the financial-rewards approach to not only send their children to school when they should stay home – again, such as when they are ill – but that they might keep the money that their children obtained for themselves (ibid). Another problem with this idea is that there is no guarantee that students will take their education seriously just because they’re in school. Indeed, it’s very possible – if not likely – that those who don’t want to be in class will engage in disruptive behavior that will make it difficult for those who do want to learn to do so. Schools that pay their students for merely showing up may thus compound the problem of students not being sufficiently educated. Critics of what might be called the “cash-for-class” approach also contend that it undermines a central mission of the public education system, which is to instill children with morals and values that most members of society subscribe to. One such belief is that education is something that should be pursued throughout one’s life for its own sake and for the sake of our democratic society, which benefits from having a well-educated electorate. Paying kids to go to school would go against these important precepts in that it would discourage youth from pursuing other worthwhile objectives unless they receive an immediate financial reward, and because it will weaken their sense of obligation to contribute to the greater good. In essence, it amounts to a substitution of bribery for the recognition of intrinsic rewards that benefit both themselves and others. One can only wonder how many students will decide not to attend college because they’re not immediately compensated for doing so. Something else that American students should be taught is that, by virtue of their being provided with a free education all the way through twelfth grade, they are much more fortunate than many millions – if not billions – of young people in other parts of the world. If they were aware, for example, that girls in countries like Afghanistan were until recently denied any education at all and that in many other countries only those children whose parents can afford to pay have access to formal schooling beyond the elementary grades, they 19 English 9A: Persuasion might be more appreciative of the opportunity they have to better themselves through education here. Paying American kids to go to school would certainly be viewed critically by those who are systematically denied an education in other countries. Negative perceptions would also likely be generated within the United States if it were only the urban poor, who have the highest dropout rates, who were compensated for going to school. As others have suggested, it might reinforce the stereotype that poor communities don’t value education for its own sake (Miller). From a much more practical and local point of view, paying kids to go to school is something that LAUSD, at least, most certainly cannot afford to do. If it were to adopt the Chelsea High School model and pay its students $25 for each quarter of perfect attendance from 9th grade on, it could potentially need to come up with $11.5 million annually, assuming that all of the approximately 58,000 students that should be graduating each year never missed any classes. Assuming an average teacher salary of $60,000, the district would have to eliminate nearly 200 teaching positions if it implemented this plan, which works out to about three per high school, where classes are already notoriously overcrowded. For the 2011-12 school year, LAUSD already has a $408 million deficit and is seriously considering shortening the school year by a week in order to stay within its budget. At such a time, it is inconceivable that the district would seriously consider adding to its financial woes in this manner. In contrast to a system of financial rewards, some would-be reformers believe that our dropout problem could be successfully addressed by fining the parents of students who are chronically truant, especially those who ignore warnings or offers of services like counseling and tutoring. In nearby Orange Country, police arrested a number of such parents last year and prosecutors there succeeded in convincing a judge to find them guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, for which they were fined $2500.00 and faced a possible one-year prison sentence (Hardesty). Proponents of this approach contend that parents should be held responsible for the behavior of their children, and that they should pay a stiff price if their children break the law. They further maintain that once they see that the courts are serious about holding their parents accountable in this manner, students will attend school more regularly inasmuch as they won’t want their parents to suffer on their account. While no one would deny that parents are responsible for teaching their children right from wrong, it is naive to suggest that they can always control them. This is particularly true of parents who work long hours and who thus have fewer opportunities to meaningfully interact with their children – or even to gain awareness that their students are skipping school. It also ignores the unfortunate reality that some children would like nothing more than to get their parents in trouble and may thus see this type of law enforcement as an opportunity they can take advantage of to satisfy such desires. There is also the problem of what to do with the children of single parents who would be left to fend for themselves if their parents were taken away. The penalty is too severe, moreover, given that $2500.00 is more than 10% of the nation’s official poverty rate for a family of four. Finally, it goes against fundamental legal principles to punish someone for the crimes committed by another. If one were to extend the logic employed by proponents of this plan, parents could be punished for any crime committed by their children. 20 English 9A: Persuasion Sample Outline for Proposals Section of Dropout Position Paper I. II. III. IV. Transition Sentence (makes reference to conclusion of Summary & Analysis section and points toward presentation of a better proposal) Definition of Parameters: can’t solve the problem entirely, especially for nation or even California: best to focus on improving situation at SFHS Identification of some of the most commonly stated reasons for students dropping out a. not being promoted to 10th grade on time is the biggest risk factor i. says who: 1. http://www.betterhighschools.org/docs/nhsc_approachestodropoutprevention.pdf citing Neild and Balfanz 2. The ninth grade is often considered a critical make-it or break-it year when students get on- or off-track to succeed in high school. More students fail ninth grade than any other high school grade, and a disproportionate number of students who are held back in ninth grade subsequently drop out (Herlihy, 2007). 3. one-third of dropouts exhibit no warning signs in eighth grade but have problems in ninth grade. b. Inadequate Parental Involvement 1. says who: American Psychological Association 2011: lack of parental involvement identified as one of four prominent risk factors in determining likelihood of dropping out Facing the School Dropout Dilemma http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/schooldropout-prevention.aspx Proposal Addressing Reason One: presentation to 8th graders a. what it entails i. teams of 9th grade presenters visiting 8th grade classrooms at SFHS “feeder schools” (Maclay, SFM, and Pacoima) to expound upon 1. how serious the dropout problem is at SFHS a. in terms of how many kids drop out b. in terms of the negative consequences of dropping out 2. what contributes to 9th graders deciding to drop out a. differences between HS and MS i. no social promotion ii. classes are more challenging iii. lack of engagement 3. how 8th graders can avoid getting in trouble in 9th grade themselves a. by taking advantage of various programs at SFHS i. after-school tutoring ii. in-home tutoring b. by hooking up with a mentor c. by taking college classes (if boredom’s an issue) ii. getting approval from school administrators and teachers 1. how will that be handled iii. preparing engaging presentations 1. PowerPoint and/or Video iv. arranging for transportation b. reasons in favor of this approach i. inexpensive (other than transportation costs) ii. simplicity 1. paper’s been written: just need a PowerPoint iii. Logically more likely to succeed 1. kids will listen to peers more than to adults a. peer mentoring, of which this is a type, has been proven successful elsewhere i. A Win-Win Peer Mentoring and Tutoring Program: A Collaborative Model Susan Dennison The Journal of Primary Prevention Volume 20, Number 3, 161-174, DOI: 10.1023/A:1021385817106 21 English 9A: Persuasion V. iv. talking to students BEFORE they come to high school is an idea supported by experts 1. To be most effective in preventing dropout, school systems should focus dropout prevention efforts in the beginning of the middle grades. http://www.betterhighschools.org/docs/nhsc_approachestodropoutprevention.pdf 2. eighth-to-ninth grade transition programs have proven successful. http://www.betterhighschools.org/docs/nhsc_approachestodropoutprevention.pdf v. provides additional benefits 1. gives 8th grade teachers a better idea of what’s expected of 9th graders (facilitates vertical integration of the curricula) 2. might satisfy service-learning requirement for high school graduation 3. an excellent way to enhance the quality of one’s college- or job application Proposal Addressing Reason Two: public service announcements targeting local parents a. what it entails i. persuading local radio & television station owners and outdoor advertising executives to regularly air public service announcements reminding parents how important it is that their kids finish high school 1. letters (including to the LA Times if we don’t here back from them) 2. working with stations to compose and record a script b. reasons in favor of this approach i. cost 1. zero for schools and students 2. tax write-off for station owners and advertisers 3. fulfills regulatory requirement station owners assume in exchange to use of public airwaves ii. more likely to succeed 1. Parent Center & SLC parent meetings routinely get only a handful of parents to come – probably because they are working or traveling to and from work 2. Broadcast message can be heard at work, during commutes, etc iii. logical 1. clear from films like “The Lottery” and “Waiting for Superman” that parental involvement is key to a child’s educational success. 22 English 9A: Persuasion Sample Proposals Section on High School Dropout Problem Given the many problems inherent in the financial-rewards-and-penalties approach, it’s clear that a much different way of dealing with the drop-out crisis must be found. While it would be great if there were one idea that would succeed in addressing the problem as it exists across the nation, the length of this paper limits what it can propose to dealing with the situation facing the San Fernando/Pacoima community. It only makes sense that whatever idea is put forward must address the fundamental reasons students make the decision to abandon their education. According to a number of experts, a student’s failure to graduate from 9th grade with his or her peers is a major factor in the decision to drop out. (Neild and Balfanz; Herlihy) This was confirmed by Ms. Garcia, the Dropout Coordinator for the Los Angeles Unified School District, who was interviewed by our class in December, 2011. A survey of nearly three hundred students, teachers, and adults in the community suggested some reasons as to why this might be the case. These include a sense of hopelessness once a student who’s supposed to be in the tenth grade realizes how much make-up work is required to earn a promotion; a sense that graduating from high school won’t make that much difference in determining whether a student will succeed or not; and the temptation or perceived need to work. A second oft-stated reason is a lack of parental support, which the American Psychological Association regards as “one of the four prominent risk factors determining the likelihood of dropping out. (2011) This opinion was also verified by Ms. Garcia when she visited with our class, and is further supported by the research we conducted in our survey, wherein approximately 30% of respondents agreed that the failure of parents to involve themselves in the educational experience of their children is a major problem in this community. An idea for dealing with the first cause identified above would be for SFHS students to visit middleschool classrooms to talk to students there about how serious the drop-out problem is at our school. This means that members of our class would be visiting the campuses of Maclay, San Fernando Middle, and Pacoima middle schools to share information we have gathered about how many SFHS students drop out and what the negative consequences are of doing so. We would also discuss the reasons we’ve become familiar with for why so many students here don’t make it, such as the fact that there is no social promotion; the likelihood that they’ll find their classes to be much more challenging; and the possibility that they won’t feel a sense of belonging. We would follow this discussion up with advice about how these middleschoolers might more successfully negotiate their way through the many challenges and temptations they’ll face in high school. This would include mention of such things as after-school tutoring; clubs and organizations; the Project Grad program, Impact, our Teen Clinic, and the existence of college classes. In order to execute our plan, it will be necessary to obtain permission from the administrators at all of the schools involved, as well as from the teachers whose classrooms will be impacted. This can be accomplished by providing all of the parties concerned with a copy of our position paper, as well as an outline of what we intend to discuss, along with a formal letter of request. The likelihood of succeeding in this endeavor is enhanced by the fact that many of us are on good terms with some of the individuals we need permission from. In addition, we will need to prepare a PowerPoint presentation and a short video, as well as arrange for transportation. This proposal has a number of positive aspects to recommend it. First, its only cost is that of transporting the presenters by school bus, which would be approximately _____. It is also a very simple plan to put into effect, inasmuch as we’ve already thoroughly researched this topic and have composed a position paper on it. It is a logical approach, moreover, since there is ample evidence supporting the idea that teens are more apt to take advice from their peers than from adults. Indeed, peer mentoring, of which this is certainly an 23 English 9A: Persuasion example, is touted in such academic publications as The Journal of Primary Prevention. (Dennison) Experts also support the idea of speaking with at-risk students well before they begin attending high school. (betterhighschools.org) This proposal has additional benefits not directly related to the drop-out problem as well. These would include providing middle-school teachers with a better idea of what sorts of things are required of high school students; satisfying service-learning requirements for graduation; and enhancing the quality of our college- and employment applications. With respect to the lack of parental support, we propose to invite local radio and television station owners and managers – as well as outdoor advertizing companies – to broadcast public service announcements urging parents in our community to get more involved in the education of their children: particularly to do all they can to ensure that their children graduate from high school. This will necessitate write formal letters of request, as well as notifying local newspapers of our intention so that they can help us pressure these parties into helping us put our plan in action. Once we succeed in establishing a partnership, we hope to be integrally involved in composing the scripts that will be used – and perhaps even taking part in their recording and production. As bold as this approach may seem, its cost to all parties is minimal. We won’t have to pay anything to participate in this approach and station owners and advertisers can realize a substantial tax benefit. These parties will also have the opportunity to satisfy the requirement that they engage in public service in exchange for being able to use the public airwaves. Another feature that makes this plan attractive is that it is more likely to succeed than current methods of communicating with parents. Although SFHS has a Parent Center which regularly sponsors events intended to facilitate communication with parents, their success in getting parents to participate is notoriously abysmal. SLC events have been spectacularly unsuccessful as well. The reason most often given for why parents don’t attend these events is that they are working or commuting to or from work. If the message that we want to communicate to them is broadcast over the airwaves or posted on local billboards, these reasons will likely not be nearly as much of an impediment. 24 English 9A: Persuasion Writing a Position Paper Introduction 1. a lead-in (hook): something that introduces the topic of your paper in a general way Open with an unusual detail or statistic, startling or striking fact from a credible source. Open with a strong statement. Open with a quotation. Open with an anecdote Open with an engaging question. Open with an exaggeration or outrageous statement. 2. Thesis Statement of intent and opinion: in one or more sentences, you need to give the reader an overview of the paper. The way to handle this is to provide a brief summary of each section of your paper in the order these sections appear. In other words, briefly summarize what you do in the Description section; then briefly summarize what you do in the Summary & Analysis section; and, finally, briefly summarize what you do in the Proposals section. Remember, a big part of successfully writing academic essays is to satisfy your reader’s expectations. By summarizing the parts of the paper in the order they occur, your reader will be able to follow your paper’s progression as he/she moves through it. Your Introduction should also: Set the tone: for most academic essays, you should impress your reader that you’re very serious about your topic Make someone want to read your essay: a lot of this has to do with how clear your writing is in this crucial paragraph. Remember you want to make a good first impression on your audience, which is most often going to be your professor, the person who gives you your grade! Depending upon your topic, and how much of it refers to things you’ve experienced directly, you may be expected to avoid the use of “I” “aka 1st person singular pronoun”). Here are some suggestions for how to do this: use conventional expressions, such as this paper, this essay (This paper will demonstrate that X is not a good idea.) what follows (What follows is a description of how serious this problem is.) use of the passive voice (Instead of “I will present an idea which I think is better,” (active voice), write “Finally, a proposal which this paper believes is preferable will be presented”) Sample Introduction: For the past five years or so, America’s economy has suffered a serious decline. During this time of high unemployment and prolonged joblessness, even those who have a high school degree have found it difficult to find steady work. For those who lack this minimum educational requirement, securing employment is much more of a challenge. Ironically, at a time when the percentage of American youth who graduate high school should be increasing, it is actually moving in the opposite direction, especially in California. Many ideas have been put forward to reverse the downward trend, but at least two of them – paying youths to go to school and fining the parents of those who don’t – would likely only compound the problem. Two approaches with a much greater chance of succeeding, at least with respect to the students in danger of dropping out of San Fernando High School, would be to partner with local radio and television station owners in the broadcast of public service announcements and to facilitate meetings between successful high school seniors and their middle school counterparts. 25 English 9A: Persuasion Writing a Conclusion Just as you want to make a good first impression with your introduction, you want to leave a good lasting impression with your conclusion. This is especially significant when you consider that people supposedly remember most what they read (or hear) last. Start with transition phrase that reflects the rhetorical purpose of your essay. A couple conventional expressions are: Hopefully, this essay has succeeded in demonstrating that… The preceding discussion has attempted to In restating your main ideas, reverse the order you presented them in. in other words, proposal first, summary & analysis second, and description last. This way the reader will remember most how serious the problem is that you’ve chosen to write about. That will set things up for your “Call to Action”. Different ways to motivate the reader to want to do something to support your cause include: A reminder of his/her civic duty and/or humanitarian responsibilities (i.e. “People have caused this garbage crisis, and only people can solve it. Do you care enough to do your part by recycling?” Do Something Good for the Earth) A prediction that things will get worse if nothing’s done (i.e. Rising Tides) A warning about how the reader might be personally affected if nothing’s done (i.e. “next time it could be you”) An attempt to make the reader feel guilty if they do nothing (ex, “those who do nothing to solve the problem of teen suicide must be seen as responsible in part of these tragic deaths.” Teen Suicide) Here’s how a scratch outline evolved into a conclusion paragraph on gang violence 1. Proposals: La needs more cops 2. Summary and Analysis: Legalizing drugs to stop gang violence is a stupid idea 3. Description: the problem of gang violence is really serious 4. Call to Action Hopefully, this essay has made it clear that Los Angeles is in dire need of more police if it wants to get serious about tackling the problem of gang violence. Instead of experimenting with a proposal like legalizing drugs, which is only based on theory, we should move rapidly to do here what has succeeded so well elsewhere and hire more police. The seriousness of the issue demands that we stop debate and get to work. To do anything less would be to aid those who are perpetuating the violence. 26 English 9A: Persuasion Writing a Conclusion from a position paper on animal abuse in so-called “factory farms” Hopefully, this essay has succeeded in showing that applying political and economic pressure on factory farms and educating people about the torment animals endure on their way to our tables will lead to better treatment of our nation’s livestock. (refers to Proposals section) Hopefully, it has also been demonstrated that adopting peaceful approaches like these are preferable to animal rights activists attempting to avenge the abuses suffered by animals by breaking the law. (refers to Summary & Analysis section) This should not be construed as suggesting that the need for action is not urgent, however. (begins call to action) As the world’s human population continues to dramatically increase, many more animals are vulnerable to mistreatment. (supports call to action) Those who are sympathetic to the plight of livestock, (refers to Description section) yet resist this and similar calls to engage in efforts to protect them, are only slightly less guilty of abusing these creatures than the owners of factory farms. (supports call to action by referring to Description section) They may not have the animals’ blood on their plates, but they have it on their hands. (ends with a “bang”, since people often remember most what they hear or read last) Scratch outline for conclusion of paper on the nation’s illiteracy problem Cameras in the classroom is a great idea (from Proposals section) School uniforms won’t solve the problem (from Summary & Analysis section) Need to do something, cuz illiteracy’s a huge problem (from Description section) US = democracy & democracies need informed electorate to survive (“bang”) Hopefully, this essay has succeeded in demonstrating that installing cameras in the classroom will lead to improved teacher performance and thus better educated students. As has also been shown, the ideas of extending the school day and making students wear school uniforms will not achieve the desired effect of improving student literacy. Failing to immediately adopt a viable option for dealing with the increasingly serious problem of illiteracy will have truly grim consequences for the country. If it is true that the survival of a democracy depends on an informed electorate, then we should care passionately about the problem of illiteracy as it involves nothing less than the continued existence of what we all want to be a prosperous and healthy United States. 27 English 9A: Persuasion Making the Grade: Ideas for Increasing the On-Time Graduation Rate at San Fernando High School Frequently constructed of “catchy” and informative” components separated with a colon. Often uses alliteration. Should be in bold. Title should reflect your rhetorical purpose. Title should indicate the essays primary purpose and describe or explain. Capitalize the first & last word and all words except articles (a, an, the), prepositions (in, at, under, etc), and coordinating conjunctions (and, or, but) Name Last Name San Fernando High School Date: Month Day, Year 28 English 9A: Persuasion Sample SFHS Position Paper Titles/Sub-Headings Driving down the Drive-By’s: Toward Establishing a Greater Police Presence in the Northeast San Fernando Valley as a Means of Addressing the Problem of Gang Violence There Before Exposition Section: Horror in the ‘Hood (Suggests that this section will describe gang-related troubles in the community) Before Summary & Analysis Section: The Wrong Prescription (indicates that an idea for solving the problem will be criticized; in this case, it’s the idea that legalizing drugs will reduce the problem of gang violence (hence the word “prescription”) Before Proposals Section: Chief in Charge (reflects the main recommendation of giving the LAPD police chief what he says he needs to fight the gang problem: more cops) Filling the Cracks: The Problem of Teen Suicide and Recommendations for Its Prevention Tough Times for Teens Striking the Wrong Chord An Approach That Is More in Tune Other Dos! Your paper must have page numbers. Here is how to do it on Microsoft Word: Insert Page Number Top of Page Upper Right Hand Corner o Double Click to Add LAST NAME Akopyan 12 Works Cited Page Author (Last, First). “Article Title.” Website/Book Title. Version: date/volume/issue. Publisher Company: City/State. Text Type. Date Accessed. Times New Roman 12 Point Font Double Spaced 29