AS SIMILAR AS IT IS DIFFERENT –
QUALITY RESPONSES TO ADOLESCENTS
WHO USE VIOLENCE TOWARDS FAMILY
MEMBERS
Danny Blay
No To Violence & Men’s Referral Service
No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association (NTV) Inc.
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NO TO VIOLENCE MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE
PREVENTION ASSOCIATION (NTV) INC.
• Peak body for Victorian men’s behaviour change
programs
• Advocacy, policy development, and resources in the
field of male family violence prevention
• Standards of practice for working with men who use
family violence
• Men’s Referral Service, the primary telephone
counselling and referral service for men in Victoria
who use violence towards family members
No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association (NTV) Inc.
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STANDARDS FOR RUNNING
MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS
• 1995 – Publication of Stopping Men’s
Violence In The Family: A Manual for Running
Men’s Groups, Volume 1: Context and
Standards
• 2005 – Revised (Men’s Behaviour Change
Group Work: Minimum Standards and Quality
Practice)
• Standards endorsed by Victorian
Department of Human Services
• Compulsory adherence for all DHS-funded
men’s behaviour change programs (and all
members of NTV who provide direct
services)
No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association (NTV) Inc.
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MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS
(JANUARY 2013)
Melbourne Metropolitan
Bayswater
Boronia
Box Hill
Epping
Frankston (2)
Heidelberg
Hoppers Crossing
Hughesdale
Kew
Lilydale
Melbourne
Melton
Narre Warren (2)
Sandringham
South Yarra *
St Kilda
Sunbury
Sunshine** (2)
Regional Victoria
Bairnsdale
Ballarat
Bendigo
Broadford
Echuca
Geelong
Healesville
Horsham
Leongatha
Mildura
Morwell(2)***
Pakenham
Rosebud
Shepparton
Wangaratta
Warrnambool
Wodonga
Wonthaggi
* Gay Men’s Behaviour Change Program
** Vietnamese Men’s Behaviour Change Program
*** Koori Men’s Behaviour Change Program
Also Family Violence Court Division Intervention Programs – Ballarat & Heidelberg Magistrates’ Courts
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SYSTEMS RESPONSES – ADOLESCENTS
• Members of NTV/adhere to statewide standards of
practice:
– Behaviour change programs – only 7
– Individual counsellors – only 12
• Many other types of responses (other individual
practitioners, youth workers, etc) but who knows
what informs their practice? Is it safe?
• No formal referral pathways
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MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS /
ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Anger = emotion; violence = behaviour
• Anger Management: violence caused by inability to
control emotions which can cause violence
• Men’s Behaviour Change Programs: violence is a
choice and a means to use power over others. Men are
responsible for all behaviours and choose to use, or
not use, violence.
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MEN’S REFERRAL SERVICE
Victorian statewide service
9am – 9pm weekdays
Wholly funded by Department of Human Services
Anonymous, confidential, and free telephone
counselling, information and referral primarily for
men who use violence or abuse towards family
members
• Now includes weekend After Hours Service
(handling direct referrals from Victoria Police)
• (2011-12 – 2% of calls from people under the age of
20)
• (Need to consider how other telephone counselling
services/referring agencies consider AVITH and
how this informs their responses and decisions
about referrals)
•
•
•
•
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WHY
DO THEY USE VIOLENCE?
SIMILARITIES
BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE AND
AVITH
• Mostly men (adult and adolescent) towards women
(partner/mother)
• They can, and it works
• Using power over another (or others) to gain advantage
– Sense of entitlement
– ‘Benefits’: cash, other financial entitlements (credit/debit
cards, phone bills, etc), ‘room service’
– Fewer/no contributions to or participation within household
– Freedom?
– Entrenched/learned attitudes – use of power
– Permission to act like ‘real men’/‘grown-ups’
• Lack of empathy
• The behaviour and experience is secret – unlikely to be
disclosed/reported
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WHY
DO THEY USE VIOLENCE?
SIMILARITIES
BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE AND
•
•
AVITH
Sometimes supported by others
– Men’s denigration of women (in front of children)
– Men eliciting support of others (own children) to denigrate women
– Potentially father uses violence towards mother
– Social commentary about women in general
– Social acceptance/celebration of power and violence
Person experiencing violence
– Not always likely to report it
– Isolation; ‘unique’ experience
– Helplessness (“It’s just the way he is…”)
– Taking responsibility (“There must be something wrong with me”, “I’m a
bad partner/parent”)
– Blamed for the experience (“You need to put your foot down; you’re too
soft”)
– Not believed
– Concern about ‘outing’ person using violence – impact on them (education,
career, legal/police, Child Protection)
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WHY
DO THEY USE VIOLENCE?
POTENTIAL
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE
AND
AVITH
• Evidence regarding brain development in adolescence seems to
indicate that young people are more likely than adults to miss
emotional cues and to respond emotionally themselves.
– Cate Medcraft (Canterbury Community Health Centre NSW)
advocates for heightened awareness of the ways that brain
development might impact on how young people respond to
conflict
– Consider adolescents’ capacity to separate ‘emotion’ and
‘behaviour’ compared to adult men
• Research around exposure to violence and trauma can affect
children’s brain development
• Potential for adolescents having recently or currently
experiencing violence from adult male within the family – might
be necessary to work with notions of victimisation as well as
perpetration concurrently
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PRACTICE PRINCIPLES FOR BEHAVIOUR CHANGE
WORK WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS WHO ARE VIOLENT
TO FAMILY MEMBERS
• Maintain an awareness of issues of the misuse of power and control at
all times
• Expect men/adolescents to take responsibility for their own behaviour
at all times
• Violence is ALWAYS a choice
• Never openly or covertly locate responsibility for the violence with
those who have been victims of violence
• Realistic and practical approaches to changing their behaviour (eg
‘Time Out’ strategies; GRIPP program)
• Invitational approaches
• Aiming for better (safer) connectivity with others (family, friends)
• Requirement for standards of practice – consistency in service
delivery; safety of response
• Need for consistent professional development and training
• Integration with broader family violence sector
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CONVERSING WITH A MAN OR ADOLESCENT
ABOUT HIS POTENTIAL USE OF VIOLENCE
•
•
•
•
Why is it necessary to talk about this?
What are the potential benefits?
What are the potential barriers?
What are the potential dangers?
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BENEFITS
• Providing opportunities to disclose
• Demonstrating you (and others) care (about the
person using violence, his partner/parent,
children/siblings)
• Introducing concepts of the impact of the behaviour
towards others – empathy
• Potential for them to start taking responsibility and
change
• Potential for successful referral
• Potential for increased safety of women and children
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BARRIERS
Resistance, minimisation, justification, blame, denial
Scope – “it’s not my job”?
Resources – staff, premises, time
Worker concerns about making things worse –
competence, expertise, experience
• Safety of partner if person using violence knows about
disclosure or is attending same service
• Staff safety
• Agency responses to minors – requiring parental
consent? Both? (Consider Family Court orders)
•
•
•
•
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DANGERS
• Continue pattern of blame (towards partner/parent,
workers, experience)
• Inadvertently support sexist, misogynist, or violencesupporting beliefs
• Feeding a sense of being a victim – of the
partner/parent(s), of ‘the system’, of the courts, police,
society
• Invitations to workers to collude with his use of
violence
• Potential for workers to unknowingly collude
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WORKING WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS WHO USE
VIOLENCE: POTENTIAL FOR COLLUSION
Common responses by men when asked about violence:
1. Minimisation – “It wasn’t that bad – it’s not like I hit
her…”
2. Justification – “I’ve been really stressed/I just get so
angry/Everyone has arguments/It’s the way I am…”
3. Blaming – “She pushes my buttons/nags/starts it…”
4. Denial – “It didn’t happen – she/they made it up!”
What is the man/adolescent inviting you to do when he offers
you denial, minimisation, justification, and victim blaming?
Why is collusion potentially dangerous?
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WORKING WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS: ENGAGEMENT
WITHOUT COLLUSION – LEARNING FROM MBCPS
Collusion by workers/professionals:
• Inadvertently worker (or someone in
‘authority’) says something to collude (“so you
didn’t hit her?”)
• Worker says nothing – more likely to collude –
seen as supportive. Always need to challenge.
• (Difference between collusion and empathic
support or building rapport)
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REFUSING
THE
INVITATION
TO
COLLUDE
KEY PRINCIPLE
Build rapport, demonstrate empathy, BUT:
– Address the behaviour, not the person.
– Keep responsibility for the behaviour with the
man/adolescent using violence. This means not
accepting any denial, minimisation, justification,
excuses, or invitations to collude.
– Prioritise the impact of the violence rather than the
types of violence.
– Define quality practice in this space.
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WORKING
WITH ADULT MEN AND ADOLESCENTS WHO
USE VIOLENCE
–
THE DIFFERENCES
This all sounds great, but…
• Consequences to violence
– A man in his mid 30s with children, mortgage, career…
– A 16 year-old at school…
• Consistency in police/legal responses
• Agreement within and outside of the family violence sector
about what responses should look like
• Capacity to separate adolescents from parent(s)/carer(s)
(eg Family Violence Safety Notice)
• Tendency for some to pathologise young people’s
behaviours (ADHD?)
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SUMMING
UP
–
WHAT WE NEED
• Agreement about what quality responses to AVITH
should look like
• Standards of practice
• Accredited training
• Clarity around the similarities and differences
between adult male family violence and AVITH
• Clear direction re identification, assessment and
referral
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CONTACT DETAILS
Men’s Referral Service
Freecall (Vic. only)
1800
065 973
Local call
(03) 9428
2899
www.mrs.org.au
No To Violence
03 9428 3536
O Box 3022 Victoria Gardens
RICHMOND VIC 3121
www.ntv.org.au
No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association (NTV) Inc.
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