Forum Presented by:
Kimberly Weathers
October 5, 2014
Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month evolved from the first Day of
Unity observed in October, 1981 by the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence. The intent was to connect battered women’s
advocates across the nation who were working to end violence
against women and their children. The Day of Unity soon became
a special week when a range of activities were conducted at the
local, state, and national levels.
These activities were as varied and diverse as the program
sponsors but had common themes: mourning those who have died
because of domestic violence, celebrating those who have
survived, and connecting those who work to end violence. In
October 1987, the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was
observed. That same year the first national toll-free hotline was
begun. In 1989 the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Commemorative Legislation was passed by the U.S. Congress.
Such legislation has passed every year since with NCADV providing
key leadership in this effort. In October 1994 NCADV, in
conjunction with Ms. Magazine, created the "Remember My Name"
project, a national registry to increase public awareness of
domestic violence deaths. Since then, NCADV has been collecting
information on women who have been killed by an intimate partner
and produces a poster each October for Domestic Violence
Awareness Month, listing the names of those documented in that
year. The Day of Unity is celebrated the first Monday in October.
NCADV hopes that events in communities and regions across the
fifty states will culminate in a powerful statement celebrating the
strength of battered women and their children.
Domestic Violence Definitions
Any abusive, violent, coercive, forceful, or threatening act or word inflicted by one
member of a family or household on another can constitute domestic violence.
Domestic violence, once considered one of the most underreported crimes, beca
me more
widely recognized during the 1980s and 1990s.
Various individuals and groups have defined domestic violence to include everything from saying unkind or demeaning words, to grabbing a person's arm, to hitting, kicking, choking, or evenmurdering. Domestic violence most often refers to
violence between married or dating couples, although it sometimes refers to viol
ence against other members of a household, such as children or elderly relatives.
It occurs in every racial, socioeconomic, ethnic, and religious group, although con
ditions such aspoverty, drug or alcohol abuse, and mental illness increase its likelihood.
Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control
over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or
use of violence. Some signs of an abusive relationship include:
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Exerting strict control (financial, social and/or appearance).
Needing constant contact including excessive texts and calls.
Insulting a partner in front of other people.
Extreme jealousy.
Showing fear around a partner.
Isolation from family and friends.
Frequent canceling of plans at the last minute.
Unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite add up.
Domestic Violence Statistics
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One in three women and 1 in 4 men have experienced physical
violence by an intimate partner. Some of these studies vary from
1 in 4 to 1 in 7, etc.
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60% of Americans, 15 years of age or older, know a victim of
domestic violence or sexual assault. Among the 70% of women
who have experienced domestic violence and told someone
about it, more than half (58%) said that no one helped them.
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On average, nearly 20 people per minute are victims of domestic
violence.
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On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed
to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
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In domestic violence homicides, women are six times more likely
to be killed when there is a gun in the house.
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Three out of four (73%) parents with children under the age of 18
said that they have not had a conversation about violence in the
home.
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Three quarters of Americans (75%) say they would step in and
help if they saw even a stranger being abused, but almost two
thirds (64%) of Americans age 15 or older say if we talk more
about domestic violence and sexual assault, it would make it
easier to help someone.
Domestic Violence Affects Everyone
Physical/Mental Effects
 Women who suffer from domestic violence are at an increased
vulnerability of contracting STD’s
 Studies suggest that there is a relationship between intimate
partner violence and depression and suicidal behavior
 It is estimated that half of the women in abusive relationships are
physical y injured by their partners
Economic
 Victims generally lose 8 million days of paid work each year
 The cost exceeds $8.3 billion per year
 21-60% of victims lose their jobs dues to reasons stemming from
abuse
Domestic Violence Warning Signs
Red Flags:
 Abuse alcohol or other drugs
 No job
 Too intense, to fast
 Says I love you after one date
 Too good to be true
 Multiple partners/marriages
 Says “you abuse me”
 Jealous/possessive
 Controls the finances
 Accuses you of cheating
 Has affairs
 Blame all arguments on you
 Tell you how to dress or act
 Tell you to shut up or tell you are dumb, stupid, fat or other names
 Checks up on you
 Monitors your every move
 Hypochondriac
 Abuses pets
 Isolating you from family and friends
Power and Control the ultimate goal of an abuser, how they gain the power and
control:
 Isolation
 Emotional Abuse
 Intimidation
 Coercion and Threats
 Male Privilege
 Economic Abuse
 Using Children
Domestic Violence Obstacles to Leaving
Why do victims stay?
 Believe the threats
 Denial
 Family Pressure
 Fear of Losing Child Custody
 Fear of being deported
 Lack of finances
 Homelessness (DV is the third leading cause of homelessness)
 Hope the violence will stop
 Love
 No job skills or life skills
 Religious Beliefs
 Lack of support from family, friends, clergy, law enforcement, etc.
Domestic Violence Support
How can I help someone who is being abused?
 Approach the abused person in a sensitive way, i.e., “I am worried
about you because I have noticed …”
 If the person is not ready to talk, do not force it
 Be there to listen when the abused person is ready to talk
 Believe what they tell you
 Let them know domestic violence is not their fault
 Focus on safety
 Ask what you can do to help
 Give resources, i.e., crisis line numbers, shelters, etc.
Things to avoid saying to someone who is abused.
 What did you do to make him/her treat you like that?
 Do not blame alcohol, or other drugs for domestic violence
 Avoid telling someone what to do or saying something to the
effect of “If I were you I would just leave.” “Dump him.”
Domestic Violence and the Community
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Desire to Make a Difference
Speak out against domestic violence
Ask clergy to speak from the pulpit
Support and educate
Write letters to your representatives and/or go to Rally Day in
Olympia to speak with your representative
 Volunteer for a domestic violence agency
Domestic Violence Resources
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National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-562-6025
Pierce County Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-572-4357
Crystal Judson Family Justice Center: 253-798-4166
DAWN Crisis Line: 425-656-7867
LifeWire: 1-800-827-8840
Other information, brochures, reading material, etc. Kimberly in the churc h office.