Don't Forget You Pen If You Want to be Immortalized

Fun Facts
1/3 of Americans drop out of high school
½ of African American and Hispanic students drop out (Vail, 2004)
Between 1988 – 1998, the attrition rate for high school students in
Texas has ranged between 31% to 42% (Honawar, 2004)
A study in Philadelphia showed that indicators as early as 6th grade
could predict dropout rates. The indicators were low attendance, poor
behavior, and failing grades in reading and math. (Manzo, 2005)
More Fun Facts
Low levels of literacy are powerful
predictors of welfare dependency
and incarceration ~ and the high costs
associated with these interventions.
More than ½ of the adult prison
population has a literacy level below
that required by the labor market.
More than 40% of adjudicated juvenile
delinquents have treatable learning disabilities
that were overlooked and undiagnosed in school.
Barr, R. D. & Parrett, W. H. (2001). Hope Fulfilled for At-Risk Youth & Violent Youth,
Boston, MA:Allyn & Bacon.
Ackkk! A problem of national
1923 – Carl Brigham’s Study
of American Intelligence:
Analyzed the
Alpha/Beta tests
and determined
that Nordic
groups are
superior to other
Dean of
Later developed
the Scholastic
Aptitude Test
Deirdre Hamill / The Arizona Republic
*fume, fuss, full, fuel, furl, or my personal favorite…fund
The Accidental Teacher
you will.
you will.
you will.
you will.
I will
you will.
you will.
you will.
you will.
you will.
you will.
Very Impressionable
The First Day of School—Tom McKinney
“Literacy development is the key by which the
oppressed are equipped with the necessary tools
to reappropriate their history, culture and
language practices.”
Friere and Macedo
Theoretical approaches
Dr. Bertha Perez (1995) RDG 3743 Language, Literacy, & Culture
Dewey (1902) ~ Child-centered curriculum
Bruner (1960) ~ scaffold learning on students’ personal interest
Moll, Amanto, Neff & Gonzalez (1992) ~ Funds of Knowledge
 “I’m finally represented!” Michelle Castillo-West
Allen (1995) ~ It’s Never Too Late: Leading ADOLESCENTS to Lifelong
O’Brien, Stewart & Moje (1995) ~ dismantle the artificial barrier between
school and “the real world”
Wilhelm & Smith (2002) ~ “schoolish” reading v. “the real world”
Krashen (2005) ~ The “Decline” of Reading in America, Poverty and
Access to Books, and the Use of Comics in Encouraging Reading
LEA (McCormick ~ 1988)
The language experience approach is an approach to reading
instruction based on activities and stories developed from personal
experiences of the learner. The stories about personal experiences are
written down by a teacher and read together until the learner associates
the written form of the word with the spoken.
• Benefits: It brings together writing, reading, art, and language.
• It extends the learners' creativity in storytelling through writing.
• It helps learners understand that what they think and say can be written.
• It is learner-centered and demonstrates that the learners' thoughts and
language are valued.
• It provides reading material that is predictable and readable because it
uses the learners' natural language.
The Declaration of Independence, 1776
We hold these truths to be
self-evident, that all men are
created equal, that they are
endowed by their Creator with
certain unalienable Rights, that
among these are Life, Liberty
and the pursuit of Happiness.-That to secure these rights,
Governments are instituted among
Men, deriving their just powers
from the consent of the governed,
--That whenever any Form of
Government becomes destructive
of these ends, it is the Right of
the People to alter or to abolish
it, and to institute new
Government, laying its foundation
on such principles and organizing
its powers in such form, as to
them shall seem most likely to
Benjamin Franklin, the Iroquois
and the Rationale for the
American Revolution
The Iroquoian system, expressed through its constitution, "The Great
Law of Peace," rested on assumptions foreign to the monarchies of
Europe: it regarded leaders as servants of the people, rather than
their masters, and made provisions for the leaders' impeachment for
errant behavior. The Iroquois' law and custom upheld freedom of
expression in political and religious matters, and it forbade the
unauthorized entry of homes. It provided for political participation by
women and the relatively equitable distribution of wealth. These
distinctly democratic tendencies sound familiar in light of subsequent
American political history -- yet few people today (other than American
Indians and students of their heritage) know that a republic existed on
our soil before anyone here had ever heard of John Locke, or Cato, the
Magna Charta, Rousseau, Franklin, or Jefferson.
Our task is to relearn history as they experienced it, in all its richness
and complexity, and thereby to arrive at a more complete understanding
of what we were, what we are, and what we may become.
Bruce E. Johansen
Statue of Liberty
Seeking Justice, Equality—Rafael Figueroa
"Give me your tired, your
poor, Your huddled masses
yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of
your teeming shore. Send
these, the homeless,
tempest-tossed, to me: I
lift my lamp beside the
golden door.."
Emma Lazarus
Just the Basics:
What we are calling for is
nothing more or nothing less
than an unbiased spirit of
fairness and impartiality in all
educational policies and
Adapted from Green and Griffore, 1978
Why is the curriculum
so critical?
Those who do not learn from history, are doomed to
repeat it.
George Santayana
History is not just facts and events. History is also a pain
in the heart and we repeat history until we are able to
make another’s pain in the heart our own.
Julius Lester, 1997
To Be a Slave
My object in writing the book was to
enable the reader to experience
slaves as human beings. Of course,
my underlying and hidden purpose
was simply this: if a child could
experience slaves as human beings,
then it might be possible for that
same child to look at the
descendants of slaves and also see
another human being, no more, no
Julius Lester, 1997
To Be a Slave
CONFRONTATION and WAR is what you
teachers start instilling in kids from
kindergarten on! ‘We need to study history
so we don’t repeat it’ is a BUNCH OF BULL!
Don’t you get it? We keep repeating history
because that’s what you teach – meanness,
greed, and every man and woman out for
themselves, without mercy!
Victor Villasenor, 2004
Burro Genius
Mexican American Education (The Left Behind
Sylvia Mendez collection--MALDEF
Racial or
Ethnic Group
Number of
adults in
Graduate or
Makes me wanna holler
Explanations of very REAL obstacles are often written off as “excuses” not to meet higher
expectations by those who are fortunate enough not to face them. Some of these
Fear of Crime
Low Teacher Salaries
Inadequate Facilities and
Language Barriers
And speaking of these “higher expectations”… Higher expectations to do what??
“Pursue engaging projects that promote sophisticated thinking… or bubble in more ovals
correctly on a bad test?” (Kohn, 2000)
Jimmy Santiago Baca
Interview with Bill Moyers
Baca told the story of why he learned to read. It wasn’t easy,
for experienced trouble in his youth far beyond those of
most of our students as he was in jail at twenty-one. He
couldn’t read much then, just some simple words, man,
lake, and round. He tells of stealing a copy of an anthology
of the Romantic poets from the jail clerk, a college girl with
whom he was flirting. And he tells of reading it, using his
words to conjure an image of a man walking around a lake
the way his grandfather did. He was filled with a
tremendous urge to write about his grandfather. And he
was filled with a tremendous need to read more, to find out
why “95 percent of the people in prison were Chicano, and
95 percent can’t read and write, and 95 percent are killin’
for smokes and coffee… I wanted to know the answer.”
(This information came from the book, “Reading Don’t Fix No Chevys”, by Michael W. Smith and
Jeffrey D. Wilhelm)
So he decided to teach himself how to read and write. But
his decision was met with the jeers of fellow prisoners:
“’You’re a coward,” they said. ‘You’re nothin.’ Because
books get you nowhere. Books are stupid. Sissies read
books. You couldn’t do nothin’ with a book. You couldn’t
fix a ’57 Chevy with a book. You couldn’t take money
from some hustler with a book. You couldn't convince or
persuade anybody with a book.’”
And not only that, books were “the great enemy,” for they
contained the lies that “my grandparents had been lazy
Mexicans and that I was no good.” But he prevailed.
And words, he says, “caught me up in the most fierce
typhoon I’ve ever been in and have never exited from -- ever.”
Effective Teaching
Practices for All
Ain’t She a Student Too!
What are the academic needs of this student?
Are they different from her social and cultural
needs? How?
Can her academic needs even be separated
from her social and cultural ones?
How have you been prepared to teach her?
What is the appropriate/effective curriculum?
Cummins Interactive Empowerment Theory
“Students will succeed or fail to the extent their language and
culture are used in school, their parents and community are
included as integral parts of their education, students are
provided activities such as reading and writing; assessment of
student ability, and educators who serve as their advocates.”
The Good, the Bad, and
the Ugly
Assimilation v. culturally relevant programs
and strategies:
Three broad
Those designed to
categories from
resocialize African
American students to
Those designed to remediate
mainstream behaviors,
or accelerate without
values, and attitudes
attending to the students’
at the same time
social or cultural needs;
that they teach
basic skills;
Those designed to
facilitate student learning THE
Successful Teachers of
African American Children
by capitalizing on the
GLORIA LADSONstudents’ own social and
cultural background.
Multiculturalism instills a sense of pride
and accomplishment for different cultures.
Multiculturalism helps people learn about
the accomplishments of others that they
might not have previously aware of.
Multiculturalism sparks healthy
discussions and debates about important
issues that are relevant to the past and the
Book Availability
• Low SES students are having
trouble with reading because they
can’t find books they are
interested in because they are
not available to them.
• Lack of access to books will lead
to lower motivation and eventually
lower test scores (Krashen,
Current Trends
• Books are beginning to reflect
multicultural and multiethnic
realities- Monster by Walter
Dean Myers or When Dad Killed
Mom by Julius Lester
• Students must enjoy what they
read and be able to connect
with the actions and issues in
the book personally to develop a
sense or morality, awareness,
or experience (Bushman, 2001).
• Teachers are moving away from
just teaching the classics
because they do not represent
current America and its
diversity (H.M.Foster, 2002)
Dubois (2003)
Positive Peer Pressure
Trusting Mutual Trust:
developing web of connections
using social capital
The Three Doctors (2002)
Positive Peer Pressure
Breaking down stereotypes
~taught them to look ahead (goal setting)
~ counseling
Exposure : alternatives,
professionals, college life
Validation as Academically Elite
Foreign Language Magnet Program
giving back to the community
creating a feeling of accomplishment
Critical Preparation for College
Critical Preparation for College
(empowerment programs)
(empowerment programs)
University High School
Seton Hall summer preparation program
Pre-Medical/Pre-Dental Plus Program
therefore I am
The living carry us inside them like pearls.
We survive only so long as they remember us.*
therefore I am
Tip of the day: Post culturally relevant heroes in your room to keep you honest.
You Wanna Hear My Voice?
Students will review and discuss a list of
well-known historical quotes from
traditional heroes that fit into the
Who am I?
category of cultural literacy. For
example, “Give me liberty or give me
death,” “I have a dream,” “Ask not ...,”
and “We the people…” Challenge them
to research their own heroes, people
every American should know, and make
a list of quotes that should be added to
the list that everyone should know.
Chief Joseph of the
Nez Perce
“If the white man wants to live in peace with the Indian...we
can live in peace. There need be no trouble. Treat all men alike....
give them all the same law. Give them all an even chance to live
and grow. You might as well expect the rivers to run backward as
that any man who is born a free man should be contented when
penned up and denied liberty to go where he pleases. We only ask
an even chance to live as other men live. We ask to be recognized
as men. Let me be a free to travel... free to to to choose my own to follow
the religion of my to think
and talk and act for myself."
Who said it?
The Care and Labour of providing for
Artificial and Fashionable Wants, the sight
of so many rich wallowing in Superfluous
plenty, whereby so many are kept poor and
distressed for Want, the Insolence of Office
. . . and restraints of Custom, all contrive to
disgust them [Indians] with what we call
civil Society.
Benjamin Franklin, marginalia in Matthew
Wheelock, Reflections, Moral and Political
on Great Britain and Her Colonies, 1770
Writing to Remember
Don’t Forget Your Pen If You
Want to be Immortalized
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman Pete Spillman
Pete Spillman Pete Spill Man of Letters George Dawson
Save Our Cuentos
September 8, 2005
Dear _____________________,
Ms. Fleming and Ms. Ritch’s classes are starting to gather material for our unit on Mexican heritage. This week, I hope to
find out who in our family will be a great natural source of information about Mexico and our heritage. If I do a good job of finding a
real expert, I might even save myself a trip to the public library. The ‘historian’ can be anyone from the family or the neighborhood.
You know how ___________________________ is always going on about how it was growing up? They’re always telling those terrific old
cuentos (folk stories) of Three Rivers and San Antonio that their grandmother told them. Now I can get ‘paid’ to listen to them for
the 110th time. I will be able to preserve those wonderful stories for the family too! Orale!
When I return to school on _________________________, I need to come back with a cuento related to our heritage. It must be
written down (or typed) and be about two pages. Ms. Fleming told me that last year someone told a beautiful story on the origin of
the sunflower that dates back to Aztec times. Another student told the story of how the Aztecs found Tenochtitlan. “Los Ninos
Heroes” was another fantastic story. Did abuelo ride with Emiliano Zapata or march with Dolores Huerta and Cesar Chavez?
Perhaps my madrina staged a huelga with Emma Tenayuca of ‘sat in’ with Jovita Idar to demand equal rights and more Chicano
studies classes? Remember how Tia scared the heck out of us when she told us about seeing La Llorona on the Riverwalk? Maybe El
Cucuy babysat for your parents and helped them keep you in line when you were growing up? Those would be great stories for this
project. Please help me find those great oral histories so we can preserve them for all time.
In addition, I also need to gather information for a family tree. This includes names of relatives, birth dates and places of
birth. ________________________, please do what you can to help me succeed on these projects. I will really appreciate it. So will Ms.
Fleming and Ms. Ritch, the community, my children, and their children and their children and… Well, you get the picture. You’re
the best.
Thank you,
Establishing a community
Dear Parents and families,
Please join us for a night of storytelling and family
history this Monday, October 30th, at Truman Middle
School’s annual Reading and Social Studies night.
Did your abuelo ride with Emiliano Zapata or march
with Dr. King? Perhaps your comadre staged a huelga
with Emma Tenayuca or “sat in” with Henry B.?
Can your sister tell a wonderful story about the time
she saw La Llorona by the riverside? Maybe El Cucuy
babysat for your parents and helped them keep you in
line growing up?
Our children need to know about these things.
Storytelling and the oral tradition are such rich parts of
our community’s culture; please come share your stories
with us, and help us preserve our history and heritage
for your children and their’s.
In addition to the storytelling, we will be providing
family trees so that you can help your children keep that
valuable record in tact, as well.
We look forward to seeing you there,
Thank you, TMS
Make the scary 6th graders go
Jennifer demonstrates
an avid interest in
recreational reading.
(Unfortunately, she
while all the other
students are
reading. )
Refinnej Esor Gnimelf
Jennifer appears to be showing an increased desire to
consider demonstrating acceptable classroom behavior.
(She now appears to know the classroom rules. Some day
she may even obey one.)
Building community
Dear Parents,
August 8, 2006
I want to welcome you to Truman Middle School for the 2006/2007 school year.
My name is Therese Fleming, and this is my 10th year teaching at Truman. TMS is the
only school I’ve taught at. I cannot begin to tell you how fortunate I feel to have been
adopted and raised by the Edgewood community. Ours is a community rich with
heritage and solidarity, and that makes this a wonderful place to raise our children
together. I have had such fine experiences in the classroom and with parents over the
years; I’m looking forward to continuing the process.
I want to share some of my background with you because I really think it will
help you understand ‘where I’m coming from’ and how I would like to work with you to
help your child achieve their dreams and fulfill your hopes for them.
To be honest, I’d have to describe my union with
teaching as a shotgun wedding. My mother, Patricia, was a
teacher in South San. She didn’t always complain about her
work once she came home, but when she did it made an
impression me. I felt like this was a profession were women
were taken for granted, underpaid and unappreciated. I was
not willing to accept any part of that equation. I swore, up
and down, twice on Sundays, I WOULD NEVER BE A
TEACHER. But when I think of all the people in life who have
impressed and cared most for me, its teacher’s names I recall
the most. It’s a shame I steered so determinedly away from
such a noble endeavor. I can thank the ‘Professor’ and the
‘Advocate’ for getting me onto the right track. (More about
them later.)
When I think back to my own childhood aspirations, I wouldn’t have
been able to verbalize what I wanted to be, but I know now that it was a
saint. All those books about the lives of the saints made quite an impression
on me. I dutifully showed up for catechism every Sunday for two things, the
chocolate milk and donuts and to get my hands on that book. I still
remember the picture of St. Sebastian, pierced by arrows way before body
piercing became the huge trend it is today. I was so impressed with his
martyrdom, I wanted to be like him ~ giving my life for la causa. (Although,
the body piercing never appealed to me ~ way too permanent for my tastes.)
Then there was St. Francis, a rich boy who had forsaken his pampered
ways to work on behalf of lepers and animals. Could anybody have been
more gracious, kind, and loving? Again, I wanted to follow in his footsteps.
But those pictures of the lepers were pretty repulsive. Then other things
happened in my life that derailed my ambitions of sainthood even further. In
fact, for a while, I think I really lost touch with my humanity. I actually
forsook it for a time while I became completely immersed in hedonistic, selfabsorbed pursuits. (Perhaps I was following St. Francis’s footsteps more than
I thought?).
When the saints did finally come
marching in, Therese realized
she wouldn’t be caught dead in
that number.
In the fifteen years prior to finding the road to salvation, I worked as an
accountant for Holiday Inn. My days were pretty much the same: I counted money,
balanced and audited books, shuffled papers, and punched a 10-key pad the whole
day. It was a predictable and quiet existence, perhaps a little too much of both.
My monotonous existence was broken up twice a month by the influx of
employees picking up payroll checks. These were wonderful days that allowed me
to get to know the people I worked with. It’s also how I got to know ‘El Professor’
and ‘The Advocate’.
The Advocate was a woman named Carol. She liked to argue, and she was
good at it. Something was forever wrong with her check. I’d tell her that she
should go back to school and become a lawyer since she loved to argue so much.
Lord knows, she had a lot of passion and a strong sense of justice. She would just
laugh off my suggestion. I would press her and tell her, “Seriously, you need to go
back to school and get a degree. Our country needs people like you with a strong
sense of justice and the ability to argue your case. You can’t stay a housekeeper.
It’s a waste of talent. It’s your patriotic duty to go back to school.” Maybe that
sounds tactless and insensitive, but I’d already met many ‘Carols’ at the hotel; it
got to be very disturbing after awhile.
A good mind is a terrible thing to waste and I was seeing far too much
evidence of that. What had been a catchy public service announcement had
become a heartbreaking reality for so many of our brightest. One after
another, I’d meet these bright people, working dead-end, menial jobs,
convinced that this was the best they could do.
Before I knew it, I had a
multicar pile-up on my own freeway of success. I knew I could never be
‘successful’ if I just left the scene and drove on my merry way. Teddy
Roosevelt said, “This country will not be a good place for any of us, until it is a
good place for all of us.” I took that to heart and got on the junction towards
Education as soon as I could... I didn’t want to leave Carol choking on my
dust. To me that’s immoral – I couldn’t live with myself if I failed to act on
that knowledge. I decided to go back into the classroom myself.
El Professor was a man named Oscar. He came from Mexico and was working hard to get
his whole family here. Like Carol, he also worked as a housekeeper. He had the personality skills best
suited for a front desk manager. He was very engaging and good-natured, a man with a ready smile
who always made me laugh. How he did that was a mystery, for neither of us spoke the same
language. We tried our best to teach each other. He worked at the Inn sporadically because he had to
make trips down to Mexico to take money back to his family. He was working hard to try to get his
family all together in Texas. I know he had two sons who were going to high school here already.
Oscar taught me this phrase, “Necesitamos aprender hablar los dos idiomas. ” I nodded my head and
smiled, “Yes, we must learn both languages.” But to Oscar, this was more than something we should or
shouldn’t do, it was a necessity. For his sons, it would mean the difference between following his
footsteps on a path he had little choice but to take or laying down a new road, one paved in gold that
might actually lead to some dream born in heaven, a dream his sons dreamed for themselves.
Sometimes, I imagine I’m working with Oscar’s grandchildren. I pray I’m doing ‘right’ by them.
That’s my little story of how I became a teacher. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it sure has been
a match made in heaven. You know, there are some days when working with lepers and getting a chock
ful’o arrows starts to look pretty good, but really I wouldn’t trade the honor of working with your child for
I’d really love to hear back from you. I will gladly give you my email address if you would like
to use that to contact me; it is the most effective way to communicate. You may also reach me at 444-8425.
Either way, please leave a phone number where you may be reached, and I will get back to you. Research
has shown that children whose parents maintain regular contact with their schools and teachers are more
successful. I value your opinions and wishes and would love to hear about them. What are your
expectations for me? What would you like for your child to achieve this year and in the future? What are the
things you feel I should know about your child in order to teach them? What are his/her strengths and
interests? You could also tell me a story; we’re going to be mining the community for the golden stories out
there. Maybe you’ll end up telling them at our family literacy night later this year.
Almost a St. Therese Fleming
PS ~ Although my fingers could go on and on, I know your eyes must be getting bleary.
I really want to thank you for taking the time to read this.
What can we do to buck the system?
What do you do to 'delegitimize' the status quo of racism that is a permanent
fixture in our schools?
What do you to politicize your students?
What do you need to do to become more sensitive to the cultural needs of
your students?
What actions are you taking to be sure you are not a part of the system that
maintains the 50% dropout rate for Hispanic and African American students?
Two scenarios
Recently, teachers in Minnesota have developed a thesaurus of some of the phrases most
used (or misused) by school administrators. According to these teachers, diligent use of
this thesaurus should allow a teacher to interpret, if not understand, a number of things said
by an administrator during an average school day.
What They Say:
What It Means:
You have my support:
It's in the process:
We'll look into it:
You do it, and I'll take the credit.
I forgot about it until you brought it up.
Hopefully, you'll forget about it, too.
Take it up at the next faculty meeting: That will give you even more time to forget.
It's educationally unsound: I don't understand it and the kids won't do it.
A professional responsibility:
Return to the basics:
You should do it for free.
We can't afford new textbooks this year.
Teacher Euphemisms
What you probably DO say to parents:
What you SHOULD say to parents:
Molly demonstrates problems with spatial relationships.
He's a bully.
He has the attention span of a gnat.
Hey, at least he no longer uses vulgarities when talking back
to me.
He'd forget his name if it wasn't taped to his desk.
Nobody likes her.
Sarah exhibits exceptional verbal skills and an obvious
propensity for socialization.
Paul's leadership qualities need to be more democratically
Jonathan accomplishes tasks when his interest is frequently
Joshua is making progress in learning to express himself
Alfred demonstrates some difficulty meeting the challenges
of information retention.
Bunny needs encouragement in learning to form lasting
Kenny is working toward grade level.
Joel appears to be aware of all classroom activities.
Sandy seems to have difficulty distinguishing between fact
and fantasy.
Allie enjoys dramatization.
Takira's creative writing skills are reminiscent of Socrates.
Eleanor is a creative problem solver.
Pablo participates enthusiastically in all art activities.
It's November and she still hasn't found her cubby, for cryin'
out loud!
She never shuts up.
Jeremy is stimulated by participation in sequential activities. •
Juanita needs more home study time.
David frequently appears bored and restless.
He may even get there….next year.
He just can't focus on the one we're involved in.
He lies like a rug.
She may be headed for a career in show business. Ringling
Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus comes to mind.
It's all Greek to me.
She hasn't gotten an answer right yet.
He's especially adept at throwing pottery... and paint, and
glue, and...
He consistently insists on fighting his way to the front of the
recess line.
Could you please keep her home more often?
You might want to consider placing him in a more challenging
environment. Prison, perhaps?
Contribute your own euphemism. Send an e-mail to:
[email protected]
• "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools“
• "The most efficient size for a committee is two... particularly
when one of them does not attend meetings.“
• "There are three ways to get something done:
1. Do it yourself
2. Hire someone
3. Forbid your students to do it“
• "Mr. Taylor, I don't think I deserve this F you've given me."
"I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the school
will allow me to use."
• "You should spank your child once a day.
If you don't know why, he does."
• Those who can... do.
Those who can't... teach.
Those who can't teach... teach teachers.
Those who can't teach teachers... administrate.
Those who can't administrate... run for office.
"There's nothing wrong with a child's behavior that trying to reason
with him won't aggravate!"
"Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers
are grossly underpaid."
"There would be fewer problems with children if they had to
chop wood to keep the television set going."
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob
also turns to the left."
"Children are unpredictable... you never know what inconsistency they're going to
catch you in next."
"The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at
all YOU begin to sound like a five-year-old!"
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when
someone threw a gun at him?"
"Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"