Story, form, language and metaphor
Sam Berrisford
………
whatever
……..
2
‘First you’re ridiculous.
Then you’re dangerous.
Then you can’t find a sensible
person who’s willing to disagree
with you.’ Tony Benn
War Stories?
4
The Emotional Power of Storytelling
Tell me a fact, and I’ll
learn.
Tell me a truth, and I’ll
believe.
But tell me a story, and it
will live
in my heart forever …
The best stories are…
…retold
“Normality is the route to
nowhere, if we are willing to
behave like all the others, we
will see the same things, hear
the same things, hire similar
people, come up with similar
ideas and develop identical
products or services.
We will drown in the sea of
normality. And Normal Inc. is
bankrupt.”
Jonas Ridderstrale and Kjell
Nordstrom (in ‘The Deviant’s
Advantage’)
Structure
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Some grammar …
There are three main parts to almost every sentence:
a subject (the person, group or thing doing the action);
a verb (the action itself); and
an object (the person, group or thing that the action is done to).
To give an example, in the sentence 'Peter watched the television':
the subject is Peter (he is doing the watching);
the verb is watched;
and the object is the television (it is being watched).
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…… more grammar ….
The subject is not always a person and the object is not always a thing! 'The
tree crushed Peter' is active but 'Peter was crushed by the tree' is passive.
Examples of how to turn a passive verb into an active verb.
This matter will be considered by us shortly. (Passive)
• We will consider this matter shortly. (Active)
The riot was stopped by the police. (Passive)
• The police stopped the riot. (Active)
The mine had to be closed by the authority. (Passive)
• The authority had to close the mine. (Active)
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Pet hate - Nominalizations!
We had a discussion about the matter.
We discussed the matter.
There will be a stoppage of trains by drivers.
Drivers will stop the trains.
The implementation of the method has been done by a team
A team has implemented the method.
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● Ernest Hemingway pioneered a new style of writing that is almost
commonplace today. He did away with all the florid prose of the Victorian
era and replaced it with a lean, clear prose based on action rather than
reflection
● His first job was as a cub reporter on the Kansas City Star. The newspaper
advocated short sentences, short paragraphs, active verbs,
authenticity, compression, clarity and immediacy. Hemingway later
said: "Those were the best rules I ever learned for the business of writing.
I've never forgotten them."
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Style
● He did not still feel weak, he was merely luxuriating in that supremely gutful
lassitude of convalescence in which time, hurry, doing, did not exist, the
accumulating seconds and minutes and hours to which in its well state the
body is slave both waking and sleeping, now reversed and time now the lipserver and mendicant to the body’s pleasure instead of the body thrall to
time’s headlong course.
● Manuel drank his brandy. He felt sleepy. It was too hot to go out into the
town. Besides there was nothing to do. He wanted to see Zurito. He would
go to sleep while he waited.
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Verbosity in action
● It is the national expectation that the entire range of serving personnel
should perform their individual functions to the utmost of their personal
capabilities
● England expects each man will do his duty Admiral Horatio Nelson
● Males of advanced years commonly display a marked reduction of the
recollective facility
● Old men forget!
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Shakespeare, Henry V
Gobbledegook
● If there are any points on which you require explanation or further
particulars we shall be glad to furnish such additional details as may be
required by telephone.
● If you have any questions, please phone.
● High-quality learning environments are a necessary precondition for
facilitation and enhancement of the ongoing learning process.
● Children need good schools if they are to learn properly.
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… more gobbledegook
● We're going forward with our plans to implement knowledge-based
digital alignment.
● We're going forward with our plans to implement systemised reciprocal
projections.
● You really can't fail with balanced modular options.
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Some basics
● Choose a design and stick to it
– A basic structural design underlines every kind of writing
● Use the active voice
– NOT My first visit to Newcastle will always be remembered by me BUT I will
always remember my first visit to Newcastle
● Make statements positive
– NOT He was not very often on time BUT He usually came late
● Use definite language
– NOT A period of unfavourable weather set in BUT It rained for a week
● Omit needless words
– Vigorous writing is concise
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The Mirror triangle
●
●
●
●
13 words
35 words
25 words
27 words
intro
explain
expand
summary
100 word
article
13
words
35
words
25
words
27
words
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The elevator speech
Elevator speech, n. (American) – A short
explanation that you could provide to a question
put to you in a lift. Should be no longer than 30
seconds long.
● Simple
● Memorable
● Easy to repeat
A watercooler speech template
We will now be…
[Context & Vision]
For us this means:
1.
2.
3.
[Business link]
For you this means:
1.
2.
3.
[Personal link]
In the end we will all:
1.
2.
3.
[Promised outcome]
A sample corridor speech
We will now be changing the expense reporting system throughout the department
For us this means:
1. A simpler, central approach
2. Consistency across the department
3. We can see where our costs are
For you this means:
1. Fewer forms to fill out
2. Clearer sign-off processes
3. You get paid faster
In the end we will all have:
1. A simpler, clearer system
2. A fairer, more consistent approach
3. More time to do our jobs
Words, rhythm and repetition are important
● Words:
– Faith, hope and charity
– Earth, wind and fire
– Location, location, location
● Phrases:
– The good, the bad and the ugly
– The father, the son and the holy ghost
– The three musketeers
● Three clauses:
– “To protect American lives, to restore law and order and to prevent chaos.”
the organisational iceberg
Goals
Structure
Technology
Skills and abilities
Financial resources
Values
Beliefs
Balance of power
Feelings
Attitudes
Assumptions
Interactions
‘The future is
already here. It is
just unevenly
distributed’
(William Gibson)
©
Henley