Divorce
“For the LORD God
of Israel says That He
hates divorce, For it
covers one's garment with violence,”
Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore
take heed to your spirit, That you do
not deal treacherously.”
~ Malachi 2:16
Background
• Sermon preached by Bobby Holmes at
the Northside church of Christ in
Mansfield, TX on June 26th, 2005.
• Subject: Marriage, Divorce &
Remarriage
– Brother Holmes taught some things
regarding Divorce (without remarriage) in
the lesson that were cause for concern.
– This teaching is the subject of the lesson
today
Background - 2
• At the time of the lesson, we were
supporting Bobby Holmes, and Gregg
Madden
– As a result of Bobby’s lesson, and the
aftermath of that lesson regarding events
that happened at the Northside
congregation, we received reports from
Bobby and Gregg that differed in their
perspective of the situation.
B. Holmes Support Letter
“On the down side, we had two families leave
because they disagreed with the Truth taught
here on marriage and divorce. This was after
several weeks of studies with them failed to
produce any change. The law of God is clear on
the subject. One man [one woman] for life with
one exception. If one leaves their mate for ANY
reason other than fornication, they have two
options. Remain unmarried or be reconciled.
(cf. 1 Cor. 7:10-11).”
July 2005 Report
G. Madden Support Letter
“Sad to say, we have heard of two congregations
in the past couple of weeks that have split over
simple issues of divorce and remarriage. In one
case the brethren stood for the Truth… In the other
case the few that stood for God’s Word were shown
the door and told that they would not be allowed to
speak on the matter publicly before the
congregation. We pray for the brethren who stood
for the truth on these issues. We also pray for
those that opposed the truth that they might come
to repentance soon.”
July 2005 Report
Background - 3
• The elders were uncomfortable with
supporting two men who were clearly on
different sides of the issue, and
determined it important to look into the
matter more fully
• First step taken: Private studies between
Stan Cox and Bobby Holmes, where the
issue was discussed.
• Stan wrote two separate documents,
discussing the issue, and gave them to
brother Holmes
Background - 4
• Second step: When the issue was not
reconciled, the elders had two studies
with brother Holmes.
• At the end of the first of the two
studies, the elders (at that time
brother Gilliland was not serving as
an elder), wrote a letter to Brother
Holmes, indicating that his support
from our congregation would cease.
Excerpt from Letter
“After our meeting with you, and our discussion of
the lesson you preached at the Northside
congregation, it is evident that we have differences
with regard to the exegesis of several passages, as
well as what the scriptures teach on the subject of
divorce.
“While we remain ready and willing to continue
any study with you on such matters, unfortunately
these differences have the potential to cause
conflict within the West Side congregation. In our
role as shepherds of this congregation, we feel it
best to protect the church by taking this step…”
continued
Excerpt from Letter
“…We retain great personal affection for you, and
respect your integrity and honesty. We are
saddened at taking this step, and pledge a
willingness to continue our study of these matters
with you, if you so desire, and on our own.
“It is our prayer that at some future date we will
all have a more perfect understanding of such
issues that will enable us to resolve our differences.
We pray for God’s favor upon each of us as we
struggle to understand God’s will on such difficult
matters…”
(January 11, 2006)
Background - 5
• Brother Gallman took the additional
step to call brother Holmes before the
delivery of the letter.
– He told brother Holmes of the letter, and
repeated the confidence expressed in that
letter regarding Bobby’s integrity and
honesty
– He further indicated that a second
component (which also led to the rescinding
of brother Madden’s support) was the need
to reduce outside support due to financial
considerations.
Background - 6
• The second study with brother
Holmes came after the letter was sent
and received.
• Neither of the two studies, nor email
exchanges between brother Holmes
and Stan Cox have led to any
perceivable headway in resolving the
differences in teaching.
• The pledge to continue study on this
matter remains to this day.
Background - 7
• Due to Bobby’s teaching, the elders did not
feel comfortable endorsing his efforts, and
continuing our fellowship in his preaching.
• His support has been rescinded, and the
West Side congregation no longer has any
ties with him in his preaching work.
• As an autonomous congregation we have
this right.
• The elders have this right to exercise their
judgment in this matter.
Background - 8
• Bobby Holmes recognizes these
rights. While he disagrees with the
position we have taken regarding
these issues, he has expressed his
understanding that the elders have
acted in a way in keeping with their
scriptural right.
• He has spoken and written of his
confidence in the character and
integrity of the elders at West Side.
Background - 9
• Materials available to the
congregation (if requested)
– Audio of this sermon, and handout of slides
– Audio of Bobby Holmes’ sermon (6/26/05)
– Support letters from Holmes and Madden
– Bulletin articles written by Stan Cox on the
subject of Divorce (with exegesis of Matt.
19; Matt. 5; 1 Cor. 7; Luke 18)
• Further study if needed…
– If you have questions, or would like to study
further with the elders, let them know
An Admonition to Us All
• Issues such as these always have potential
to divide brethren.
• Our treatment of this issue should be with
love and deference to one another.
• Their should be light, not heat on this
matter.
• The appeal must be to God’s word, rather
than men.
• We must not allow this to be a cause of
dissension or unrest in our congregation.
The Issue
Is there any other
exception other than
the one explicitly stated
in Matthew 19, wherein a
Christian may divorce his or her
spouse without sinning. (It is
accepted that sexual immorality is
the sole exception that would allow
for the innocent party to remarry).
Areas of Agreement
(Claimed areas of agreement, as per Bobby Holmes.
Presented in second study)
“Do we not all agree that God’s law for marriage
is one man for one woman for life with one
exception?”
“I firmly believe and advocate that Christ must be
put first in every relationship including marriage.
Conceivably, situations CAN arise where that
relationship must be ‘sundered’ or ‘leave’ in order to
keep Christ and His kingdom first.”
“Now, please tell me wherein we are in
disagreement?”
The Contention
• God’s law on marriage, divorce &
remarriage is a specific law, with one
specific, explicitly stated exception to
the law.
• God’s law on marriage and divorce
(when remarriage is not considered)
is a general law. And there are
factors which may allow for at least
one unstated exception.
• (Bobby’s reference, Eph. 5:24)
Ephesians 5:24
Therefore, just as the church is
subject to Christ, so let the wives
to their own husbands in everything.
Bobby contends…
1. There are exceptions to the
“everything” of Ephesians 5:24
2. There are exceptions to God’s law
regarding divorce.
be
Problems with the Argument
• It is only an assertion that God has two
laws, one for “remarriage”, one without
remarriage. (Invalid, as we will prove).
• It is only an assertion that God’s law
regarding divorce only is a general one,
allowing for non-explicit exceptions.
(Unproveable, but moot point, as the
first contention is not true).
• If one non-explicit exception is allowed,
why not many? Who determines the
validity of any particular exception?
Further Problems
• Ephesians 5:24 sets man (delegated
authority) VS God (ultimate authority).
• Bobby’s argument, however, sets God
against God
– God says, “I hate divorce” (cf. Mal. 2:16)
– God says, “Divorce O.K.” (Holmes’ contention)
• Parallel to Mormon Doctrine of Mental
Reservation
– God says, “Lying is a sin” (cf. Rev. 21:8)
– God says, “Lying O.K.” (Mormon contention)
• Parallel to Jewish Traditions (cf. Mk. 7:9-13)
Mark 7:9-13
He said to them, "All too well you reject
the
commandment of God, that you may
keep
your tradition. 10 For Moses said, 'Honor your
father and your mother'; and, 'He who curses father
or mother, let him be put to death.‘ 11 "But you say,
'If a man says to his father or mother, "Whatever
profit you might have received from me is Corban"-'
(that is, a gift to God), 12 then you no longer let him
do anything for his father or his mother, 13 making
the word of God of no effect through your tradition
which you have handed down. And many such
things you do."
A Discussion of
Verses Which
Bear on our
Subject
•
•
•
•
Matthew 19:3-9
Matthew 5:32
Luke 18:29-30
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Matthew 19:3-9
The Pharisees also came to Him,
testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it
lawful
for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not
read that He who made them at the beginning
‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one
flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then
did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce,
and to put her away?”…
Matthew 19:3-9, cont…
… 8 He said to them, “Moses,
because of the hardness of your
hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I
say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except
for sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery; and whoever marries her
who is divorced commits adultery.”
Matthew 5:31-32
Furthermore it has been said,
“Whoever divorces his wife, let him
give
her a certificate of divorce.” 32 But I say to you
that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
except sexual immorality causes her to commit
adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is
divorced commits adultery.
Commentary Quotes
Fowler indicates that she (the divorced wife)
is “the unfortunate victim of a vicious system
which subjects her to the caprice of her
husband. What is unequivocally clear is that
the stigma of adultery is related to her
remarriage.”
Bible Study Textbook Series, Matthew, Volume 1, page 281
Commentary Quotes
Boles is bold in his assessment of Jesus’ teaching:
“He is clear on this point; he lays down his teaching
here with entire precision; he admits but one valid
ground for divorce, namely fornication. Whoever
puts away his wife for any other reason tempts her
to marry again; Jesus assumes that the pretended
divorce goes for nothing; that she is still his wife,
and that marrying again involves adultery. Not only
does she become an adulteress, but whoever shall
marry her becomes an adulterer.
New Testament Commentaries, Gospel Advocate,
H. Leo Boles, Matthew, page 143.
Commentary Quotes
“The mere fact of divorce did not make her an
adulteress, but it brought her into a state of
disgrace from which she invariably sought to free
herself by contracting another marriage, and this
other marriage to which her humiliating situation
drove her made her an adulteress”
McGarvey, Pendleton, The Fourfold Gospel, page 242
Commentary Quotes
“(4) Our Lord showed how this conduct operated
against the Law. It made an adulteress of the
divorced wife; for it treated her as though she has
been such. It exposed her to the temptation to
commit adultery. Bound by the law of her husband
during this natural life, even did she marry another
she would be an adulteress (see Rom. vii.1-3). By
parity of reasoning, whoever married her would be
an adulterer. The proper husband is responsible as
the cause of all these consequences…”
Pulpit Commentary, Matthew, page 217
Matthew 5:31-32
Furthermore it has been said,
“Whoever divorces his wife, let him
give
her a certificate of divorce.” 32 But I say to you
that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
except sexual immorality causes her to commit
adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is
divorced commits adultery.
1. No remarriage (for the “whoever”) in the
context of this verse
2. Answers our question! “For any reason
except sexual immorality” (Divorcer guilty!)
Luke 18:28-30
Then Peter said, “See, we have
left
all and followed You.” 29 So He
said to
them, “Assuredly, I say to
you, there
is no one who has left house or parents or
brothers or wife or children, for the sake of
the kingdom of God, 30 who shall not receive
many times more in this present time, and in
the age to come eternal life.”
Problems with the Argument
• Divorce is not mentioned explicitly, and
is not at all in the context of Luke 18.
• Whatever the leaving is, Peter had done
it! (And yet, Peter “led about a wife” cf.
1 Corinthians 9:5)
• If you can divorce for the “kingdom’s
sake”, then you can also abandon your
children, and abdicate your
responsibility to you parents (cf. Mk. 7)
• Is sin sometimes not sin? (Sit. Ethics?)
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Now to the married I command,
yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not
to
depart from her husband. 11 But even if she
does depart, let her remain unmarried or be
reconciled to her husband. And a husband is
not to divorce his wife.
Problems with the Argument
• The context indicates that Paul was
repeating Jesus’ teaching, not
establishing a new teaching. (cf. vs. 10)
– We have already seen that there are no
“second exceptions” in Matt. 19 or 5.
• There is nothing in the passage which
requires this action to be sinless
(arguing from silence…proves nothing)
– Same instructions would be given to one who
divorces for frivolous reasons
– Paul was dealing with a question concerning
the state of the marital relationship
Commentary Quotes
(vs. 10), “…Whereas in vv. 8-9 Paul has
simply given his advice since whether one
marries or not is an optional matter, in this
verse Paul commands. Paraggello is a verb
meaning “to order, command, direct or
charge.” There are no options left for this
person; he simply obeys the Lord or
stands in rebellion to him…” (emphasis
mine, SC)
Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99
Commentary Quotes
“The statement “but if she depart” (ean de kai
choristhe) describes an exception whether past,
present, or future. In the event that the wife (or
husband) leaves her husband (or wife), then she (or
he) must remain unmarried. Paul recognized that,
in spite of the commandments, [emphasis mine,
SC], some would nevertheless choose not to live
together. In such cases, there were only two
alternatives available. (1) To remain single or (2)
be reconciled to one’s mate…”
Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99
Commentary Quotes
“This passage undoubtedly teaches that the
believer is to take no steps to hinder the restoration
of the marriage relations, but to be ready to seek to
restore them. Divorce is intended to make the
separation permanent and to make unlawful
marriage possible. No Christian can do this.
Nothing severs the marriage relationship
between Christians save the sin of adultery.”
David Lipscomb, 1 Corinthians
Gospel Advocate Commentaries
More problems
• The context strongly denies the right to
divorce.
– “not to depart” (vs. 10); “not to divorce” (vs.
11); “let him not divorce” (vs. 12); “let her not
divorce” (vs. 13).
– Coach, “Don’t turn the ball over, but if you do,
hustle back on defense.” (Doesn’t indicate that
in certain circumstances, turnovers are OK).
• Though a Christian can allow a nonbeliever to depart (vs. 15), there is no
authority to seek a divorce.
Conclusion
• Nowhere in scripture is there a valid rationale
for Christians to divorce without sinning,
“except for sexual immorality” (cf. Matthew
19:9).
• While we retain our deep affection for brother
Holmes, we can not endorse his teaching, and
must defend the truth against any error
taught.
• We must treat others (including one another)
with kindness and patience.
• If you have questions, talk with the elders.
May God bless us with peace at West Side.
God’s Law for MarriaGe
One Man
One Woman
For Life
With one exception