 Worked
in computer industry for more than
25 years
 Telephone Technical support
 Senior Systems Engineer at Delta Air Lines
 After 9/11, I started my own business
For many of the positions I was the only
woman on the technical team
 Moved
to Seattle
 Project
Manager at Boeing for software
development project for the 787
 Currently at Microsoft working with the
Unified Communications products
 To
share my experiences and lessons learned
in hopes that they may help you
 To give you a list of the resources I depend
on to ‘sharpen the saw’
 To make you laugh
"At the end of the day people won't remember
what you said or did, they will remember how you
made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou
When a woman says:
We Never Go Out!
What do you think this means?
Let’s look at a ‘translation’ from the ‘Venusian/Martian Phrase
Dictionary
When a woman says:
We Never Go Out!
She means “I feel like going out and doing something together. We
always have such a fun time, and I love being with you. What do you
think? Would you take me out to dinner? It has been a few days since
we went out.
Let’s look at a ‘translation’ from the ‘Venusian/Martian Phrase
Dictionary
When a woman says:
We Never Go Out!
She means “I feel like going out and doing something together. We always have such a
fun time, and I love being with you. What do you think? Would you take me out to
dinner? It has been a few days since we went out.
Without this translation, when a woman says “We never go out” a
man may hear:
You are not doing your job. What a disappointment you have turned
out to be. We never do anything together anymore because you are
lazy, unromantic, and just boring.”
Learn how someone communicates best and what is important to them
Men need:
Trust
Acceptance
Appreciation
"The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and supportive can be summed up in
one word: appreciation. What you appreciate, appreciates. When we demonstrate our
appreciation for the support we receive from others, it reinforces that behavior and
deepens our connection to them.“
Marci Shimoff
Author of Love For No Reason
Learn how someone communicates best and what is important to them
Women need:
Caring
Understanding
Respect
When a woman does not feel cared for and respected in a relationship
she gradually becomes compulsively responsible and exhausted from
giving too much.
Men:
Take pride in solving their own
issues
Talk about their problems as an
invitation for advice
Doesn’t want help unless they ask
specifically for help
Women:
Take pride in collaboration and
team work
Talk about their problems to
release them (not to ask for advice)
Doesn’t want to ask for help –
immensely enjoys when someone
starts helping without being asked
Men are motivated and empowered
When they feel needed…
Women are motivated and empowered
When they feel cared for and respected…
Despicable Me – A fabulous example of successful
Martian/Venutian communication skills!
"Do the best you can until you know better. Then
when you know better, do better."
— Maya Angelou
www.greatday.com
 Your
perception of yourself influences
everything you do or don't do
 Keep that in mind the next time you catch
yourself using negative self-talk
"Remember, happiness doesn't depend upon who you are
or what you have, it depends solely upon what you think."
~ Dale Carnegie
"If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't,
you're right." ~ Mary Kay Ash
The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to
choose one thought over another. ~ William James
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take
total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we
truly grow up." ~ John C. Maxwell

Assign your mind a positive attitude instead

Successful people are constantly aware of how they are
being perceived – and adjust their actions to control
their effect.

To be successful, be yourself more consciously,
purposefully, and positively by:
Being aware of what you are thinking, saying, or
doing at any given moment;
Consciously choosing attitudes, words, and actions
Adopting new behavior patterns
"The expression one
wears on one's face is
far more important
than the clothes one
wears on one's back.“
Dale Carnegie
 How
to look Awake, Alert and Alive!
Relax your brow
Relax your jaw
Relax your feet
Say ‘Cheese Whiz’

Smile – it is an instant energizer and makes you
look younger

Keep Your Head Level (literally) – you appear
more energetic and sure of yourself

Laugh – it reduces negative tension and replaces
it with a positive physical reaction
Top people laugh. Their philosophy is: "If you
can't change it or accept it, you might as well
laugh about it." And they laugh...a LOT.
 Expect
acceptance and accept others as well.
 Maintain
 Trust
an "I'm OK and you're OK too" attitude.
that everyone does their best everyday
When you choose to be pleasant and positive in the
way you treat others, you have also chosen, in most
cases, how you are going to be treated by others.
 Do
you know what to do when you start to cry
at work?
"The more you are grateful for what you have
the more you will have to be grateful for" ~ Zig
Ziglar
"Living well is an art that can be developed: a
love of life and ability to take great pleasure
from small offerings and assurance that the
world owes you nothing and that every gift is
exactly that, a gift. " ~ Maya Angelou (Wouldn't
Take Nothing for My Journey Now)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths
we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away." ~ Maya Angelou
 Keep
a Gratitude Journal – a list of what
you are thankful for – be sure to review it
regularly – especially on rainy days.
http://www.insightoftheday.com/quote.asp
"Pretend that every single person you meet
has a sign around his or her neck that says,
"Make me feel important." Not only will you
succeed in sales, you will succeed in life."
~ Mary Kay Ash
 Golden
Rule Management
 Enthusiasm…Moves
 Six
Mountains!
Most Important Things List
 People
Will Support That Which They Help Create
 The
Art of Listening
You can make more friends in two months by
becoming genuinely interested in other people
than you can in two years trying to get other
people interested in you. ~ Dale Carnegie
 Praise
People to Success
http://www.mileaderonline.com/
www.giantimpact.com
 If
you don’t tell your money where to go, you
will wonder where it went.
Lions Don’t Need to Roar
by D. A. Benton
Mary Kay
On People
Management
by Mary Kay
Ash
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
By John Gray
Total Money
Makeover
by Dave
Ramsey
www.greatday.com
http://www.insightoftheday.com/quote.asp
http://www.mileaderonline.com/
www.giantimpact.com