Wordiness and Word
Count in Essay Writing
Luleadey T. Worku
English Writing Specialist
Writing Support Section/The Writing Lab
Student Learning Support Center/SLSC
What is wordiness?
O It is the use of too many unnecessary
words in writing when just a few
words could do.
O Example1: My teacher was really extremely super
angry because of my repeated absence from his class!
(Wordy!)
O Revised: My teacher was furious because of my repeated
absence from his class!
Pick one word that is powerful enough to describe the
emotion instead of using two three words.
Why is wordiness common in
essay writing?
O Students often have to meet word count
requirements of their course rubrics.
O Consequently, they add in unnecessary
words so that the number of words they
write in their essays matches with the
word count requirement.
What happens when a
writing is wordy?
O Sentences become unnecessarily long and
unclear.
O If a writing is unclear, then the writer fails
in conveying her/his message.
O Hence, wordiness deprives essays of their
purpose.
What causes wordiness?
1. The use of Fillers
 Fillers
are words which might have been
meaningful in the right context but might not add
meaning to sentences in some instances.
O It is commonly believed that women are good at
languages.
O In actual fact, many students do not differentiate
between revising and editing.
 Both sentences mean the same without the fillers.
2. Excessive Use of Modifiers
 Modifiers qualify nouns. However, when we
misuse/overuse them, they become senseless.
O The very final outcome of the research was
discussed in a roundtable yesterday.
 Since outcome means final result, no need to write
‘very final’.
O The National Park includes many different animal
species which are large in number.
 ‘many’ already indicates ‘large number’ so there is
no need to write ‘large in number’.
3. Excessive Nominalization

Nominalization takes place when a noun interferes with verb
functions.
O The committee members passed their decisions on the
admission criteria for next Fall Semester yesterday. (Wordy!)
O
O
The committee members decided on the admission
criteria for next Fall Semester yesterday.
The board members reached on an agreement that a job
vacancy should be advertised soon. (Wordy!)
O
The board members agreed that a job vacancy should be
advertised soon.
O FIFA will conduct an investigation on the recent corruption
charges of its board members. (Wordy!)
O
FIFA will investigate the recent corruption charges on its board
members.
4. Giving Redundant Information
 Redundancy occurs when the same idea is said slightly
differently in two or more sentences in one paragraph.
O Carrots have many health benefits. Besides, carrots are rich in
vitamins which are useful for health.
 The second sentence has nothing new to say about
carrots; it only repeats what is said in the first sentence.
O Many people were lining up at the entrance to the cinema hall.
In other words, there were so many people who wanted to
enter the cinema hall.
 The idea of the second sentence is only a repetition of the
first.
 Improve both examples by writing only one sentence
for each.
When improved…
O Carrots are rich in vitamins which are good for
health.
O Many people were in line to enter the cinema hall.
5. Overuse of Transitional Markers
 Transitional markers are very important writing
tools as they make our ideas flow smoothly.
However, overusing them results in wordiness.
• Driving is important in Doha. In addition, driving makes
life easier. Moreover, when you have your own car, you
are free to go wherever you want. Nevertheless, Doha’s
traffic congestion is becoming a real problem. As a
result, driving is so stressful.
 Except for the first sentence, every sentence begins
with a transitional marker. What would happen if
we omit some of them and rewrite the paragraph
again?
Let’s see!.........................
When improved…
O Driving is important in Doha; it makes life
easier. When you have your own car, you are
free to go wherever you want. Nevertheless,
driving is becoming stressful due to Doha’s
traffic congestion.
Overcoming Wordiness and
meeting Word Count Requirements
O
Once we know what it means to be wordy and what causes
wordiness, then we should watch out for the causes. After
all, the purpose of writing is conveying a message to a reader
via an accurate, concise writing method.
Therefore,
 avoid fillers and modifiers unless they are important in
making your message clearer.
 Depend on strong verbs to describe actions instead of noun
interference (nominalization).
 Don’t’ overuse transitional markers. Only their appropriate
use makes them important but not their number in your
essay.
…cont’d
 don’t give redundant information by saying the same thing
twice or more. Instead, give more examples to substantiate
your claim.
 Relevant examples are good ways of maximizing
the word count in essays. However, the number of
examples should be limited.

make definitive statements as they are shorter and clearer.

Judging students’ performance based on final
exams only is not a good idea. (Wordy!)
 Students should not be judged based on final
exams only. (Improved!)
Meeting word count requirements
O Clarify your statements – by adding sentences that start with
“In other words…”; you should however do this with care not to
provide redundant information.
O Use supporting quotations – If you haven’t already, add a few
quotations from well-respected authors to support your own
points.
O Add another example – Look for paragraphs where you’ve used
examples to illustrate your points, and add another one.
O Insert tables or diagrams that support your point.
Read more at: http://www.ivoryresearch.com/increase-essaydissertation-word-count/
Worksheet I.
Identify the cause of wordiness in each sentence
and correct them
1.
2.
3.
Economic improvement is generally a result of
many factors.
It was an extremely foggy day. Besides, I am stuck
in the office. However, my husband just called and
said that he will pick me up. Therefore, I am so
happy!
We bought a big flat screen TV which is huge in
size.
4.
They did a verification on my credentials.
Answer Key
1. Filler – generally
2. Overuse/misuse of transitional markers
3. Unnecessary use of a modifier
4. Nominalization
…cont’d
1. Economic improvement is a result of many
factors.
2. It was an extremely foggy day, and I am
stuck in the office. However, my husband
just called and said that he will pick me
up. I am so happy!
3.
We bought a huge flat screen TV.
4.
They verified my credentials.
Worksheet II.
Improve the following wordy paragraph
It is usually believed that cultural diversity has
many economic benefits. Experts, apparently, made an
investigation into this claim and said that it does not
actually have any economic benefit. According to the
experts, cultural diversity contributes nothing to economic
growth. In addition, a group of researchers who are
working on writing a research paper on migration made a
report on the issue. Hence, they pointed out that the
relationship between cultural diversity and economy is not
clear. Therefore, it is in fact difficult to talk about economy
and cultural diversity.
O It is usually believed that cultural diversity
has many economic benefits. Experts,
apparently, made an investigation into this
claim and said that it doesn’t actually have
any economic benefit. According to the
experts, cultural diversity contributes nothing
to economic growth. In addition, a group of
researchers who are working on writing a
research paper on migration made a report on
the issue. Hence, they pointed out that the
relationship between cultural diversity and
economy is not clear. Therefore, it is in fact
difficult to talk about economy and cultural
diversity.
Revised
O It is believed that cultural diversity has many
economic benefits. Experts investigated this
claim and said that it doesn’t have any
economic benefit. In addition, a group of
researchers working on migration report that
there is no clear relationship between cultural
diversity and economic benefits. Therefore, it
is difficult to say that cultural diversity
ensures economic benefits.
Unnecessary fillers, modifiers, and transitional words are
removed.
O Redundant information and nominalization are also omitted from
the original.
O
Thanks for Your Attention!
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