Life
If there’s no pie in heaven,
I’m not going.
–quote adapted by Bouslog

Without an abstract understanding of spirituality, this six-year old processes guilt through concrete experiences and realizes it is his physical world and his own choices in this world that shape him, not theology, thus revealing his emerging existential view of life.


Irony and Repetition

Contrast

Sensual and Concrete Imagery

Veiled Judeo-Christian religious allusions

Religious imagery

Parallel structure

Concluding Questions and Line

Ironic, repetitious lines prove the boy doesn’t understand abstract religious ideas

Line 1: “ I knew enough about hell to stop me from stealing.”

Lines 33-38: “ I knew an apple got Eve in deep trouble with snakes . . .what scared me more than falling from grace was being thirsty for the rest of my life.”

Contrast of first and last paragraphs illustrate his movement away from religion.
First paragraph:
“knew about hell”
“holy in almost every bone”
“shadows of angels flopping”
“faraway messages”
Last paragraph:
“drink water”
“stifling heat” “cold pipe” line 82-32 “howl like the sea”
“glare of a pie tin on a hot day” line 86

Sensual and concrete imagery prove his physical world dominates and motivates his actions.

“my dear fat-faced chocolate”

“grinning to the grocer”

“breathed in its sweetness”

“licked some of the crust”

“slop was sweet”

“gold-colored”

“finger-dripping”

“Cross-Eyed Johnny”—physical term

Veiled religious allusions are now just concrete, physical images in his world.

Line 22 “A squirrel nailed itself . . .where it forked into two large bark-scabbed limbs” (Christ on cross—but an animal not a god)

Line 60 Cross-Eyed Johnny’s “fall” hurt him—ironic not the thief’s “fall” but the alleged “vicitm’s fall,” and the victim is hurt.

Line 76 “water soon filled me up more than the pie.”— not spiritual “water” baptizing him but real “water”

“Jesus wept” as a veiled ironic and also fitting allusion for the boy.

In New Testament literature, Lazarus' sisters Mary and Martha sent word to
Jesus of their brother's illness and impending death, but Jesus arrived four days after Lazarus died. Jesus, after talking to the grieving sisters and seeing
Lazarus' friends weeping, was deeply troubled and moved. “Jesus wept” is the shortest verse of the bible.

Ironically, Jesus weeps for death and sorrow; loss of another’s life. (selfless)
The boy weeps for the awesomeness of pie “I nearly wept trying to decide which to steal” line
12-13
“I . . . Felt like crying because it was about the best thing I had ever tasted” line 42-43 (selfish)


Jesus’ crying was a sign to believers of his humanity.

The boy’s crying over “pie” or “sin” is also a sign of humanity— “best things in life came stolen” line 46

Religious imagery becomes physical imagery.

“shadows of angels” paragraphs 1 and 2 become a “shadow” of a Frisbee in paragraph 7

“shadows” in conclusion are used physically only “cool shadows”

“flowery dust priests give off” paragraph 2 becomes literally just dirt “dust” in the conclusion “dust off my pants”

Parallel structure emphasizes the physical world this little existentialist must answer to now.

Lines 66-69
“the driver knew”
“Mrs. Hancock . . . knew”
“My mom . . . knew”
Doesn’t say “God knew”

Questions in the conclusion show the boy is shifting to his real world for answers

Line 15 “God howling in the plumbing”

Conclusion “Was it God?” Not certain anymore

Shifts to real people he knew on earth:
“Was it Father ? . . . Or Uncle with his last shiny dime?”
Answers with a natural phenomenon “howl like the sea” line 83


Line 9 “ juice of guilt wetting my underarms”

Line 49 “I felt bad”

Line 65-66 “My face was sticky with guilt.” If the physical “sticky” is removed from his face, then the guilt is removed.”

The last line shows a six-year old (and perhaps the adult Soto) can only understand the physical world and not an abstract religious notion of sin.
Line 86:
“I knew sin was what you took and didn’t give back.”
“ knew” different from line 1!

Having to go to confession and receiving communion in the second grade (8 years old)
Ways of teaching Catholicism in the 1970s didn’t take into consideration a child’s physical and literal understanding of the world.