CRAYON RALLY
Premise: The Ku Klux Crayons get together for a rally. The primary colors seek separation from
the secondary colors, but once confronted by them, change their minds and turn their attention
to the "real" enemy.
Cast:
Red — Clan leader.
Blue — Follower.
Yellow — Follower, first to decide to change.
White — Peacemaker.
Maroon — Angry anti-clan crayon.
Copper — Police crayon.
Props: One podium.
Costumes: All should have something that suggests a variety of crayons.
Scene: A crayon rally. Red is standing at a podium. Yellow and Blue are talking together.
Notes: All color puns and crayon references should be slightly exaggerated when spoken.
RED: All right. All right. Would everyone please settle down? First of all I'd like to thank you for
showing up today for this rally. (Trying to incite the crowd) We know who reigns
supreme!
YELLOW and BLUE: We do!
RED: We know who are pure.
YELLOW and BLUE: We are!
RED: That's right! The primary colors are the chosen crayons. If you are not one of the primary
colors, we have no need for you. Say it with me.
RED, YELLOW, and BLUE: Red, blue, and yellow, the rest can go to hello! Red, blue, and yellow,
the rest can go to hello!
RED: If we join together and unite, our brotherhood of primary colors will rid the box of all the
other unnecessary colors. We three colors can combine our forces to create any color in
the spectrum. We have no need for those inferior secondary colors.
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BLUE: (Interrupting) We can make any color?
RED: Yes. Any color. For example, blue and yellow join for green. Red and ...
YELLOW: (Interrupting) Even gold?
RED: Well ... not gold. But every other color. We can make ...
BLUE: (Interrupting) Silver?
RED: No. Not silver. Silver and gold are metallic. Metal is a thing. We can create any color we
choose ...
YELLOW: (Interrupting) Neon?
RED: No! Not neon. Any non-glowing, non-metallic color.
BLUE: What about white?
RED: White? Don't make me puce. White has no right even calling himself a color.
BLUE: That's right. Did you ever try coloring on top of another color with white?
RED: Can't fool us. You can see right through him. He's useless. They're all useless. It was bad
enough when that burnt sienna moved in and started mingling with our kind, then
before you knew it those fluorescent guys started infiltrating our box
YELLOW: That's right! And once normal colors start mixing with those glow-in-the-darkies,
Crayola only knows what the result would be.
RED: That's right! And after one of our great achievements in 1990, when our dream became a
reality and we finally did away with eight of our enemies, then what happened? ALL: I
don't know.
RED: I'll tell you what happened. Purple Mountains Majesty happened. Razzmatazz happened.
Shamrock, Pacific Blue, Asparagus, Tickle-Me Pink, Granny Smith Apple, Mauvelous
happened. What in the hue is Mauvelous?
(WHITE and MAROON enter, unnoticed by the primary colors)
BLUE: Yea! We get rid of eight, and they bring in sixteen new ones. What's that all about?
WHITE: There's plenty of room in the box for all of us.
YELLOW: Sure. That's because they keep making the boxes bigger and bigger. Pretty soon it'll
be boxes of one hundred. And you know what happens with flip top box government
housing? I think we were just fine with the original eight.
BLUE: Yeah, we don't need you secondaries.
MAROON: So that's it, huh?
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BLUE: That's it.
MAROON: I can see your true colors now. It's the color of hatred. The color of ignorance. You
primary colors don't even deserve to melt on a dashboard ... or be eaten by a two-yearold!
RED: You're such a maroon.
MAROON: That's Mr. Maroon to you. You know, I would love to see you all just broken up into
a bunch of pieces too small to even hold and discarded in the sofa cushions for the rest
of eternity.
WHITE: But aren't we all just paraffin wax when our pigment is removed?
BLUE: Who you calling a pig, Whitey? I say we just make you all black and blue. What do you
think about that?
WHITE: There's no need to get violet.
YELLOW: I think Whitey might have a sharp point here.
RED: Oh, look who's getting yellow on us! Mr. Sunshine!
YELLOW: No, really. Do you remember that one time when little Amy drew that picture of her
house? She was so thrilled when she had Dandelion in her box of forty-eight. I suppose
she could have settled for yellow if she wanted to, but she didn't, and her mother hung
that picture on the refrigerator for eight weeks! Eight weeks!
MAROON: That's right. And remember when little Bobby won the Halloween drawing contest,
because, luckily, he had the perfect green shade for his monster's mucus?
WHITE: Or little Nemo, when he drew the picture of his puppy, Spot. Where would he have
been without aquamarine? The full spectrum of colors is what imagination is all about.
Having endless options when you're creating your own little masterpiece.
BLUE: There's just so many now. I mean, where's the identity? I used to have job security. But
now, Blue-green, Green-blue, Sky Blue, Navy Blue, Powder Blue, Periwinkle, Cyan. All
these blues, it kinds makes me sad.
WHITE: We shouldn't be writing each other off. We should be working together to make this
the most colorful world it can be. We have to be brave enough to color outside the
lines.
BLUE: Easy for you to say. Nobody would see you.
WHITE: (Upset) I am a color like any other color! If you sharpen me, do I not get shorter? If you
apply heat, do I not melt?
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RED: White. Nothing. Empty. Zero. Zally. Zippo. Nadda.
WHITE: What are you saying?
RED: Do I have to color a picture for you? You're useless! WHITE: How'd you like to be
renamed Blood Red?
RED: Come on, Whitey!
WHITE: That's right. I'll white you out.
RED: Go ahead and try. (RED and WHITE begin 'jousting" with points of crayon heads)
BLUE: Cool it guys, here comes the Copper. (COPPER enters)
COPPER: All right, you crayons. You're going to have to break it up.
RED: We got the right to gather and voice our opinions.
COPPER: Not when you're disturbing the peace, you don't. So, disperse, or I'll be breaking the
lot of you up and throwing you in the tin.
YELLOW: I'm sure we can come to some kind of chartreuse.
COPPER: Peachy. Don't make me come back. (COPPER exits.)
WHITE: So? What do you say?
RED: I don't know. Maybe you do have a sharp point. Maybe we are all the same underneath
our wrappers. But, could so many different colors learn to live as one rainbow?
YELLOW: I think we could.
BLUE: Yeah, me too. We shouldn't be fighting each other. (Pause as all reflect on this idea.) It's
the others we have to watch for!
YELLOW: Others?
RED: The markers!
BLUE: Those felt heads!
RED: Dried up good-for-nothings! (All ad-lib disdain for markers as curtain closes.)
CURTAIN
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