RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Course Objectives
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Understand the nature of conflict
Review two types of conflict
Learn a three-step resolution process
Apply the four paths to self-awareness
Identify the five conflict styles and when
to use them
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
“A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate
conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting
the energies of his people.”
– Robert Townsend
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
The Nature of Conflict
• Exists at home, work,
society, etc.
• Cannot be avoided
• Produces anxiety, anger,
frustration
• Natural part of life
• Seek
• Accept
• Avoid
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Types of Conflict
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Types of Conflict
Man Against Self
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Internal conflict
Moral dilemmas
Fear/ anxiety
Mixed feelings
Dual nature
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Types of Conflict
Man Against Man
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External conflict
Very difficult
Personality issues
“I win, you lose”
Disputes
Resentment
Frustration
Revenge
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Resolution Process
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Three Step Process
1. Get all the facts out in the open.
2. Do everything you can to understand
each other’s point of view.
3. Find a solution that benefits both parties.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
“Rarely is Win/Win easily achieved in any circumstance. When
you’re dealing with a person who is coming from a paradigm of
Win/Lose, you stay longer in the communication process. You
listen more. You express yourself with greater courage. You keep
hammering it out until the other person begins to realize that you
genuinely want the resolution to be a real win for both of you.”
Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Activity
One hot Saturday a young couple found themselves facing a major
interpersonal difference. The husband had his heart set on watching
playoff games on television all day long. The wife was under pressure
to finish a research paper she was writing for a college class, and she
needed the internet to complete it. They had a small house with only
one air-conditioned room, and it was extremely hot and humid that
particular day. The television and the computer were in the same
room, the only air conditioned area of the apartment.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Four Paths to Self-Awareness
Interpersonal
Awareness
Behavior
Appraisal
Self
Awareness
Clues About
Ourselves
Seek
Feedback
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Interpersonal
Awareness
Behavior
Appraisal
Self
Awareness
Seek
Feedback
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Intrapersonal Awareness: Take
an inventory of who you are as a
person. What are your strengths,
weaknesses, personality traits?
How do you deal with conflict?
Are you aggressive, passive or
Clues About
passive
aggressive? What are the
Ourselves
differences? Are you timid, shy
or intimidating? Your personality
and behaviors impact the
manner in which you deal with
conflict and how others act and
react to you.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Interpersonal
Awareness
Behavior
Appraisal
Self
Awareness
Seek
Feedback
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Clues About
Ourselves
Clues About Ourselves: Are you
approachable? Do people want
to speak with you or do you
sense they are avoiding you?
When you ask others to do
something, are they hesitant,
eager or rebellious? How others
behave indicates something
about you. Every encounter,
whether positive or negative, is
an opportunity for you to learn
something about you. Take
advantage of each learning
opportunity.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Interpersonal
Awareness
Behavior
Appraisal
Self
Awareness
Seek
Feedback
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Clues About
Ourselves
Seek Feedback and Practice
Self-Disclosure: Often others see
us more clearly than we see
ourselves. Seek the opinion of
someone who will give you
honest feedback, positive and
negative, on who you are as a
person and what you can
improve about yourself. Practice
self-disclosure. Be open about
weaknesses and strengths to a
trusted friend and to yourself.
This process will help you as you
seek personal growth and
professional development.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Interpersonal
Awareness
Behavior
Appraisal
Self
Awareness
Seek
Feedback
© NLRC
Clues About
Ourselves
Formal and informal behavior
appraisal: Give yourself regular
checkups on personal behavior
patterns. When certain elements
exist, how do you behave? Do you
react emotionally, or do you tend
to think before you act—
considering how your actions
impact your environment, including
colleagues and employees you
supervise. Take time for formal
behavior appraisals designed to
help you improve. The objective is
to monitor and align your thoughts
and behaviors to a higher standard
that is exemplary and admirable.
Whether you are a manager,
elected official or employee, your
behavior needs to transcend the
ordinary.
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Conflict Styles
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
5 Conflict Styles Matrix
High
ADVOCACY
Concern for Self
Dictate
Compromise
Avoid
Low
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Collaborate
Accommodate
Concern for Others
EMPATHY
High
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
When to Use the Five Styles
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Dictate
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On the few very important issues
In emergencies, for quick, decisive action
To protect yourself from those who take advantage of nice guys
Avoid
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When an issue is trivial or unimportant
When it is out of your influence and control
When relationship damage will outweigh benefits of resolution
Accommodate
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When preserving the relationship is most important
When you are wrong, or others’ ideas are better
When you have already lost the battle
Compromise
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When you need to temporarily settle complex issues
To find a workable solution under time pressure
To break power struggles and take positive small steps forward
Collaborate
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When you need to learn and understand others
When you want to integrate the synergy of different viewpoints
When you need to find a win-win solution on important issues
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RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT
Creating “Win-Win” Solutions
Summary
• Conflict is a natural part of life
• Two types of conflict include man vs. self and
man vs. man
• We can resolve conflict using a three-step
process
• Four paths to self-awareness can help us
resolve conflict
• Different conflict styles require approaches
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