HOOK!
Make the reader want to read your essay with a
strong start. Focus on your main topic.
FUNNEL!
Move from the general hook to the specific thesis
statement. Get more specific as you move through
the introduction
And the THESIS STATEMENT!
So, let’s say we have our thesis statement. We worked
really hard on it to make it good. Here it is:
The jealousy that the Queen feels throughout
Snow White, originally collected by Jacob
Grimm, is the primary cause of her untimely
death.
Pretty decent. It might need some work, but it basically
makes sense and meets the qualifications of a thesis
statement.
Next, we need to think about how to introduce this topic
of “jealousy” and “hook” the reader. After that, we’ll
need to connect the hook to the thesis statement by
using a “funnel”. Here we go…
For instance, start with a(n) . . .
Anecdote/Story
Problem
Contrast
Unusual Fact or Statistic
Be creative, not cliché!
Avoid quotes, questions, definitions...
BUT, really be HONEST and ask
yourself, “is this truly entertaining,
interesting, or attention grabbing?”
HOOK! Take a look and these
and see if they pass your test.
Going through adolescence is tough, even under
the best of circumstances.
What is a best friend?
Bravery. How is this word defined?
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a
friend” (William Blake).
The word hero conjures images of a lavish lifestyle,
unordinary bravery, and great respect. One imagines a
knight in shining armor or Superman; however, this isn’t
always the case.
Tragic hero is an oxymoron: How can a hero
possibly live a tragic life?
The word hero conjures images of a lavish lifestyle,
unordinary bravery, and great respect. One imagines a
knight in shining armor or Superman; however, this isn’t
always the case.
Decent: “To cure jealousy is to see it for what it
is, a dissatisfaction with self” (Joan Didion).
BETTER: The headlines of the March 18th, 2004
edition of the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary
Murders Boss and Wife.” A secretary had viciously
murdered her boss and his wife of 18 years in their
Oak Park home and tore up every single photograph
of the couple before she left the house. Why would
she do this terrible deed? What could compel her to
carry out such a heinous crime? Simply put, she was
jealous of beautiful life her boss and his wife had
together.
Although many people deny it, envy is
something that plagues almost everyone.
Millions of people buy gossip magazines
every day, gawking at the lifestyles of the rich
and famous. This common emotion is usually
not a problem when kept in check. Everyone
is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner;
however, when jealousy leads to treachery- or
even worse, murder- it has the power to ruin
lives.
The jealousy that the Queen feels
throughout Snow White, originally
collected by Jacob Grimm, is the primary
cause of her untimely death.
The headlines of the March 18th, 2004 edition of
the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary Murders Boss and
Wife.” A secretary had viciously murdered her boss and
his wife of 18 years in their Oak Park home and tore up
every single photograph of the couple before she left the
house. Why would she do this terrible deed? What could
compel her to carry out such a heinous crime? Simply
put, she was jealous of beautiful life her boss and his
wife had together. Although many people deny it, envy
is something that plagues almost everyone. Millions of
people buy gossip magazines every day, gawking at the
lifestyles of the rich and famous. This common emotion
is usually not a problem when kept in check. Everyone
is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner; however,
when jealousy leads to treachery- or even worse,
murder- it has the power to ruin lives. The jealousy that
the Queen feels throughout Snow White, originally
thesis collected by Jacob Grimm, is the primary cause of her
untimely death.
***If you feel the switch from funnel to thesis is too abrupt, make it
more subtle. Remember, the funnel goes from general to specific.
So, feel free to mention the author/title at the end of your funnel if
you want so as to make a smoother transition to your thesis
statement. Like here:
The headlines of the March 18th, 2004 edition of the Chicago Tribune read “Secretary
Murders Boss and Wife.” A secretary viciously murdered her boss and his wife of eighteen
years in their Oak Park home and tore up every photograph of the couple before she left the
house. Why would she commit this terrible deed? What could compel her to carry out such
a heinous crime? Simply put, she was jealous of the beautiful life her boss and his wife had
together. Although many people deny it, envy is something that plagues almost
everyone. Millions of people buy gossip magazines every day, gawking at the
lifestyles of the rich and famous. This common emotion is usually not a problem
when kept in check. Everyone is envious of the latest “Powerball” winner;
however, when jealousy leads to treachery- or even worse,
murder- it has the power to ruin lives. In the story Snow White
originally collected by Jacob Grimm, the Queen’s jealousy of
her stepdaughter, Snow White, is such a strong emotion that it
consumes her every thought and action. The Queen’s allconsuming jealousy is the primary cause of her untimely
death.
Remember, your Intro needs to have three key parts:
1)An INTERESTING Hook
2)A “Funnel” that connects to your hook/topic and
moves from general understanding of your topic to
more specific details as it relates to your argument.
3)Your Thesis Statement should flow from the end of
your “funnel” section.