Write down thoughts and ideas whenever and
wherever they occur
Getting started: The paper
topic
 Read the assignment and make sure your
paper addresses it
 Find your focus
 Ask questions to guide you to form a tentative
thesis
 Write down preliminary answers, but don’t hold to
them if your evidence proves otherwise
 Turn your ideas and thoughts into notes
 Sort them out and begin to organize
 Come up with an interesting title that captures your
theme -- NOT “History Paper”
WRITE!
 When to write an introduction
 To organize thoughts
 Start writing something
 Perhaps write last, but in any case revise
DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
 Put it aside for a day or two, then read it aloud
 Begin revision
 Imagine you are the reader, not the writer
 Make sure your ideas are supported by evidence
Editing
First, backup your work
Ask yourself:
is this readable?
persuasive?
supported by facts and evidence?
Cross out excess words - concise and
clear is ALWAYS better
Rewrite unclear sentences
Correct anything that bothers you this might be some fact you really like
but that doesn’t work in the paper
Get rid of repetitions and redundancy
of words or ideas
Edit for spelling, punctuation, grammar
and typos
Make sure you use the ACTIVE voice
and forceful verbs as often as
possible
Make sure you have used a consistent
citation style for footnotes
Use Chicago Manual of Style footnotes
Examples:
First citation from a book:
Jane Doe, A Brief History of the World
(Chicago: University of Chicago
Press, 2005), p. 1586.
Second citation:
Doe, Brief History, p. 2431.
From an article:
John Doe, “The Significance of Lentils in the Agricultural
Revolution,” Journal of Medieval and Early
Modern Studies 26 (2003), p. 65.
Second:
Doe, “Significance,” p. 72.
From the web:
http://whatever.whatever
WHEN TO CITE MATERIAL:
Exact quotations or paraphrases
Original ideas
Make what you think will be the
final copy
THEN PROOFREAD IT
AGAIN
and make final revisions
The Introduction
Start out with a quotation that captures
the theme of the paper
or an anecdote or vignette from your
sources that makes the reader want
more
The introductory paragraph will set the
tone for the entire paper
Writing your introduction
 Capture reader’s attention
 Do NOT tell the reader what you are going to
do - just start doing it
 Do not use “I” unless you cannot avoid it
 Present some background facts about the
subject of the paper
 It’s acceptable to ask some questions you hope
to answer
 State thesis clearly
 An introductory paragraph should be roughly
2/3 of a page in length
How not to start
 BAD:
 “The environment that surrounds a person from an
early age tends to be a major factor in determining
their character.”
 “This essay will study the satire of Monty Python.”
DUH! Do NOT use conjunctions in formal papers
Paragraphs:
A good paragraph has
Unity
Organization
Coherence
Begin with a strong topic sentence that
covers the theme and evidence of the
paragraph
Conclusions
Do not restate the introduction
A good conclusion rounds out the paper, beginning with a
few summary remarks
Then it goes further - with an inference
or an idea or statement that
enriches what you’ve already said
Some possible ways to conclude:
End with a quotation that amplifies your thesis or something
stated in the introduction
End with an idea or detail from the introduction and bring it full
circle
End with an allusion, putting topic in a larger framework
THE GOAL: Round out your paper
Revising for Conciseness
Extra words and empty words
 Eliminate extra words as well as vague or empty words or
phrases
EXAMPLE:
Wordy:
“The economic situation of Miss Moody was also a crucial
factor in the formation of her character.”
Concise (and stronger):
“Anne Moody’s poverty formed her character.”
PRACTICE: Print out an old essay and cross out every
word that doesn’t add anything
Reword the following
 The use of setting is also a major factor in
conveying a terrifying type atmosphere.
 It creates a better motivation of learning when
students can design their own programs
involving education. This way students’
interests can be focused on.
Weak Intensifiers and
Qualifiers
 At that time I was [very] idealistic.
 We found the proposal [quite] plausible.
 The remark, although unkind, was [entirely]
accurate
 It was a [rather] fatuous statement.
 The scene was [extremely] typical.
 The death scene is [truly] grotesque.
Etc.
Circumlocutions
 I came to the realization that
 She is of the opinion that
 The question is supportive of
 Concerning the matter of
 During the course of
 For the period of a week
 In the event that
 Regardless of the fact that
 For the simple reason that
 If the case was such that
 At that point in time
Wordy Beginnings
Reword:
“By analyzing carefully the last lines in this stanza, you
find the connections between the loose ends of the
poem.”
[Better: “The last lines of the stanza tie the poem
together.”]
“What the cartoonist is illustrating and trying to get
across is the greed of the oil producers.”
[Better: “The cartoon illustrates the greed of the oil
producers.”]
Empty Conclusions That
Say Nothing
 “’Those Winter Sundays’ is composed so that the
reader can feel what the poet was saying.”
 Being the first in my family to go to college was quite
a learning experience.”
Wordy uses of “to be,” “to have” and “to make”
 “The rising price of oil is reflective of the spiraling cost
of all goods.”
[“The rising price of oil reflects the spiraling costs of all
goods.”]
 “The stanzas make a vivid contrast between Heaven
and Hell.”
[“The stanzas vividly contrast Heaven and Hell.”]
 “The friar has knowledge that Juliet is alive.”
[“The friar knows Juliet is alive.”]
Instead of
Is taking
Are indications
Are suggestive
Has drunk
Is eating
Use
Takes
Indicate
Suggest
Drank
Eats
NOW - Can you think of even stronger verbs to use in
some of these cases?
Examples: “Drank” - compare different
Meanings of
guzzled
imbibed
consumed
sipped
threw back
gulped
Each implies something different about
your subject
Redundancy
Unnecessary repetition in expression of ideas
Example: “I have no justification with which to excuse
myself.”
[“I have no excuse.”]
Get rid of words in the following phrases:
Throughout the entire article
A conservative type suit
His own personal opinion
Elements common to both of them
Emotions and feelings
Shared together
Falsely padded expense accounts
Negative Constructions
“After reading the second paragraph
you aren’t left with an immediate reaction
as to how the story will end.”
“Housing for married students is not
unworthy* of consideration.”
*The second sentence can work under certain circumstances -say it out loud and you will see why.
Use of subordination
WORDY:
“The Book of Ruth was probably written in the fifth century BC. It
was a time when women were considered the property of men.”
CONCISE:
“The Book of Ruth was probably written in
the fifth century BC, when women were considered the property
of men.”
WORDY:
“The first group was the largest. This
group was seated in the center of the
dining hall.”
CONCISE:
“The first group, the largest, was seated
in the center of the dining hall.”
Revising for Clarity
“Good writing is clear, not because it presents
simple ideas, but because it presents ideas in
the simplest form the subject permits. A clear
analysis doesn’t falsely reduce a complex
problem to a simple one; it breaks down into
its simple, comprehensible parts and
discusses them, one by one, in a logical
order.”
General Rules
Use the simplest, most exact, most
specific language your subject allows.
Put together what belongs together, in
the essay, in the paragraph, and in the
sentence.
Keep your reader in mind, particularly
when you revise.
Using the Right Word
 Use the word with the right denotation
(explicit meaning) Look at examples:
 Friend, boyfriend, young man, lover
 Dine, eat
 Underdeveloped nations, developing nations,
emerging nations
 Upbringing, conditioning, brainwashing
 Emigrate, defect, seek asylum
 Intelligence gathering, espionage, spying
Be specific
VAGUE:“The clown’s part in Othello is very small.”
SPECIFIC:
“The clown appears in only two scenes in O.”
“The clown in O. speaks only thirty lines.”
Passive vs. Active Voice
Passive:
The student was kicked by Professor X.
Active:
Professor X kicked the student.
Last but not least…
 Don’t use slang or colloquialisms
 Vary sentence structure
 ***Give appropriate and interesting quotations
as evidence -- it is your proof
 Make sure paragraphs are neither too short or
too long
 NEVER hand in a first draft - we know ;)
Quotations
Use ample quotations from primary sources -- they
provide evidence to prove your argument.
Grammar
 Who, whom
 That, which
 Commas
 Semicolons
 What makes up a sentence?