Self-Reflection Commentary 4: Gender
The reading I chose for this assignment was “Masculinity as Homophobia: Fear, Shame,
and Silence in the Construction of Gender Identity” (Kimmel, 2010). There were several
concepts that were interesting to me, specifically how homophobia is engrained in our society’s
ideas about what masculinity is and how it almost mandates homophobia. Kimmel sums it up
really well in one statement: “The fear of being seen as a sissy dominates the cultural definitions
of manhood” (p. 87). I think that for me, this was brought to light as a teenager when one of my
best friends came out to me (before anybody else), and how hurt I was that he thought I would
reject him, and the realization that his fear was founded. Not his fear that I would reject him (it
really wasn’t a surprise, nor an issue), but his fear that he would be rejected. I think our
discussions as teenagers really raised my awareness of the homophobia that exists in American’s
language, how derogatorily people speak of something being “gay” or “homo” or the worst way
a boy can behave is in a “sissy” manner, how insulting it was on the playground to call a boy a
girl. I wonder, when I hear men that I consider to be well adjusted and generally accepting make
statements that embody homophobia how it is that they don’t hear themselves, but often that’s all
it is – they don’t recognize what they are saying. I recently got into a bit of a heated discussion
(shocking, I know…) on Facebook with a friend who would be “hacked” (have other people post
as him) by people saying things like “I love big black cock”. Even more alarming is the number
of people who think that’s funny, who don’t see that as a racist, homophobic statement. Or men
who will express their affection for each other on social media with the disclaimer “no homo”.
I also appreciated Kimmel pointing out that through the current constructs of masculinity,
“manhood is only possible for a distinct minority, and the definition has been constructed to
prevent the others from achieving it”. That manhood, as defined in Western culture, is used as a
form of oppression, that it ties in with other forms of oppression, and that manhood is equal to
power, specifically over women. I had not realized how narrow my personal view of manhood is,
nor had a recognized the systemic influences of manhood, and how it is interpreted in America,
on other areas of inequality and how it serves to propagate homophobia.
Reference:
Kimmel, M.S. (2010). Masculinity as homophobia: Fear, shame and silence in the construction
of gender identity. In P.S. Rothenberg (Ed.), Race, class and gender in the United States
(pp 80-91). New York: Worth Publishers.