LDS Widows and Widowers Conference
Making the Most of the Widows Mite:
Financial Advice to my Widower Father
and
to my Widow Step-mom
March 15, 2014
Bryan Sudweeks, Ph.D., CFA
From the BYU Marriott School of Management website on
Personal Finance
at http://personalfinance.byu.net
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Abstract
• The deaths of my mother (at age 53) and my remarried
father (who died at age 87) were traumatic experiences
for all involved, including my siblings. My family and
I were very vulnerable during that time. When tragedy
happens, we often become so discouraged by what we
have lost that we fail to remember the things we still
have. The gospel is a gospel of joy, and as we
remember our covenants, we will see that “weeping
may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”
(Psalm 30:15). This presentation will help remind us
of our covenants and the things that we must do to hold
fast to those covenants to obtain eternal life.
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To Make the Most of the Widow’s Mite:
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1. Remember the plan
2. Hold fast to your covenants
3. Understand where you are
4. Give every dollar a name
5. Watch out for “well-meaning” advice
6. Stand in holy places
7. Leave your adult children alone financially
8. Start saving now
9. Take responsibility for your learning
10. Remember the ifs
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1. Remember the Plan
• We all know the promises of adversity
• The Lord told the prophet Joseph Smith:
• Know thou, my son, that all these things shall
give thee experience, and shall be for thy good
(D&C 122:7).
• Nephi told his son Jacob:
• Nevertheless, Jacob, my firstborn in the
wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God;
and he shall consecrate thine affliction for thy
gain (2 Nephi 2:2).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
Orson F. Whitney said:
• No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is
wasted. It ministers to our education, to the
development of such qualities as patience, faith,
fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that
we endure, especially when we endure it patiently,
builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands
our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable,
more worthy to be called the children of God … and it
is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation,
that we gain the education that we come here to
acquire and which will make us more like our Father
and Mother in heaven (as quoted in “Tragedy or
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Destiny,” p. 6).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• Our perspective is that adversity is part of the
gospel of Jesus Christ
• While this is all good, it doesn’t make the
experience any easier
• However, it wasn’t planned to be easy--it was
planned as a learning experience
• “And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God” (Romans
8:28)
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• What is the “why” of adversity?
• While understanding the “what” and the “how” of
the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty
of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we
understand why our Heavenly Father has given us
this pattern for living, when we remember why we
committed to making it a foundational part of our
lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and,
instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes
precious and sweet. (Dieter Uchtdorf, “Forget Me
Not”, Ensign, Nov. 2011).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• A. Adversity can bring us to Christ
• Whatever the problem may be in a person’s life—
failure to pay tithing, breaking the Word of
Wisdom, casual church attendance, [or I add adversity, the]—real issue is faith in Jesus Christ. If
we can help people obtain the gift of faith in Christ,
good works will follow. The end purpose of any
law of God is to bring us to Christ. And how well
will the law work? It depends on what we think of
the Author of the law (C. Max Caldwell, “What
Think Ye of Christ?,” Ensign, Feb 1984).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• B. Adversity can help us accomplish our divine
missions for which were sent here on earth
• I bear testimony of the fact that if you keep the
commandments, He nourishes you, strengthens
you, and provides you means for accomplishing all
things necessary to faithfully finish your divine
mission here on earth. (Gene R. Cook, “Trust in the
Lord”, Ensign, Mar. 1986).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• C. Adversity can help us return with our
families back to Heavenly Father’s presence
• It helps us keep our priorities in order
• Harold B. Lee said, “The most important work
you will do will be within the walls of your own
home” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church:
Harold B. Lee [2000], 134).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• D. Adversity can help us become wiser
stewards
• Our resources are a stewardship, not our
possessions. I am confident that we will literally be
called upon to make an accounting before God
concerning how we have used them to bless lives
and build the kingdom (Joe J. Christensen, “Greed,
Selfishness, and Overindulgence,” Ensign, May
1999).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
• What are the principles on which this perspective
is based?
a. Ownership: Everything we have is the Lord’s
• The Psalmist wrote:
• The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof; the
world, and they that dwell therein (Psalms 24:1).
• The Lord is the creator of the earth (Mosiah 2:21), the
creator of men and all things (D&C 93:10), the
supplier of our breath (2 Nephi 9:26), the giver of our
knowledge (Moses 7:32), the provider of our life
(Mosiah 2:22), and the giver all we have and are
(Mosiah 2:21).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
b. Stewardship: We are stewards over all that the
Lord has, is, or will share with us
• The Lord said:
• Thou shalt be diligent in preserving what thou
hast, that thou mayest be a wise steward; for it is
the free gift of the Lord thy God, and thou art his
steward (D&C 136:27).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
c. Agency: The gift of “choice” is man’s most
precious inheritance
• President David O. McKay wrote:
• Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to
direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man.…
Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than
any possession earth can give (Conference
Report, Apr. 1950, p. 32; italics added).
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Remember the Plan (continued)
d. Accountability: We are accountable for every
choice we make
• The Lord stated:
• For it is required of the Lord, at the hand of every
steward, to render an account of his stewardship,
both in time and in eternity (D&C 72:3).
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2. Hold Fast to your Covenants
• We have made many covenants with God
• A covenant is an agreement between God and man
whose terms are set by God
• God has promised that if we keep our part of the
covenants, we can know He will keep His part
• We must hold fast to God’s promises by keeping
our covenants
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Hold Fast to your Covenants (continued)
• What covenants have we made?
• At baptism we covenanted to always remember
Him
• He has promised us that if we do we will have
His spirit to be with us
• In temple ordinances we covenanted to obey his
laws and keep his commandments in
• If we remain faithful, we become inheritors not
only of the celestial kingdom but of exaltation,
the highest glory within the heavenly kingdom,
and we obtain all the divine possibilities God
can give (D&C 132:20).
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Hold Fast to your Covenants (continued)
• We need strong Christians who can persevere against
hardship, who can sustain hope through tragedy, who
can lift others by their example and their compassion,
and who can consistently overcome temptations. We
need strong Christians who can make important things
happen by their faith and who can defend the truth of
Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant
atheism. What is the source of such moral and
spiritual power, and how do we obtain it? The source is
God. Our access to that power is through our
covenants with Him (Elder Todd Christofferson, “The
Power of Covenants, Ensign, April 2009).
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Hold Fast to your Covenants (continued)
• I testify that in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints is found the priesthood authority to
administer the ordinances by which we can enter into
binding covenants. . . .God will keep His promises
with you as you honor your covenants with Him (Elder
Todd Christofferson, “The Power of Covenants,
Ensign, April 2009).
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3. Understand Where You Are
• We must understand where we are financially
• The Lord said to the prophet Joseph Smith:
• Organize yourselves; prepare every needful
thing; and establish a house, even a house of
prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a
house of learning, a house of glory, a house of
order, a house of God (D&C 88:119).
• Organization is even more critical now
• Understand all your financial assets,
retirement assets, and liabilities
• Understand your current and potential
sources of income
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Financial Assets
• Find out all common financial assets including:
• Joint bank and savings accounts
• Joint brokerage and other accounts
• Insurance papers and accounts
• Real estate documents
• Other pay on death (POD) accounts
• Money lent to friends and family
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Retirement assets
• Determine retirement amounts
• Determine amounts in qualified retirement
accounts, such as 401k and 403b accounts
• Determine amounts in Individual Retirement
Accounts (IRAs), such as IRAs and Roth IRAs
• You don’t have to make any decisions now,
but find out where those assets are and the
amounts in those accounts
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Liabilities
• Find out all liabilities which are legally yours
• Find out all joint liabilities which you are
responsible for
• Determine amounts remaining on your home
mortgage and other properties
• Keep copies of all documents and debts
• Remember that unless your name is on the
account, your are not responsible for a
deceased spouses debts
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Current income
• Determine what you earn each month if you are
working
• How much goes to taxes, and how much do you
bring home each month
• If you will need to begin working
• How many hours could you work each week
• How much potentially could you bring home
each week after taxes and insurance
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Social Security
• Determine benefits available to you through
government plans, such as Social Security (SS)
depending on your age
• Understand the Social Security system and the
benefits you might receive through:
• Retirement
• Disability
• Survivors
• Medicare
• You can find our your benefits at www.ssa.gov
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• The key is to understand all your assets and
liabilities and your current and potential
sources of income
• Understand your assets, which may be necessary to
help you to live on
• Understand your liabilities, which are debts you
need to discharge
• Understand all sources of income, including work,
Social Security and other government programs
• All of these are critical pieces in the need to
“organize yourselves: prepare every needful
thing” (D&C 88:119)
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Understand Where You Are (continued)
• Create a “love note” for your children
• Powers of attorney (for husband and wife)
• Conventional, Durable, Living Will, and
Advanced Medical Directives
• Documents for your Safe Deposit Box
• Wills and trusts
Organ donor info.
• Birth/death certificates
Probate records
• Citizenship papers/passports Real Estate deeds
• Marriage certificate
Durable Powers
• Personal loan documents, service/warranties
• Obituary and funeral instructions
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• Investment, insurance, and tax records
4. Give Every Dollar a Name
• You will need to be even more organized with
your finances
• Critical to this is that you give every
dollar a name
• You must learn to develop and live on
a budget if you are not already doing
so
• A budget is critical if you are to live
within your income
• It is also a commandment of God
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Give Every Dollar a Name (continued)
• President Spencer W. Kimball counseled:
• Every family should have a budget. Why, we
would not think of going one day without a
budget in this Church or our businesses. We
have to know approximately what we may
receive, and we certainly must know what we
are going to spend. And one of the successes
of the Church would have to be that the
Brethren watch these things very carefully,
and we do not spend that which we do not
have (Conference Report, April 1975, pp.
166-167).
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Give Every Dollar a Name (continued)
• What is a Budget?
• It is the single most important tool in helping us
attain our personal goals. It is a tool—just like a
hammer or a nail
• It is the process of planning your spending
• It’s making sure your resources are used for
the things that matter most—your personal
goals
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Budgeting: The Old Way
Income
Tithing
Expenses
Available for
Savings
Personal Goals
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Budgeting: The Better Way
Income
Pay the
Lord
Pay
Yourself
Expenses
Other
Savings
Personal Goals
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Give Every Dollar a Name (continued)
Elder L. Tom Perry taught this when he said:
• After paying your tithing of 10 percent to the Lord,
you pay yourself a predetermined amount directly
into savings. That leaves you a balance of your
income to budget for taxes, food, clothing, shelter,
transportation, etc. It is amazing to me that so many
people work all of their lives for the grocer, the
landlord, the power company, the automobile
salesman, and the bank, and yet think so little of
their own efforts that they pay themselves nothing
(L. Tom Perry, “Becoming Self-Reliant,” Ensign,
Nov. 1991, 64).
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Give Every Dollar a Name (continued)
• Elder Marvin J. Ashton stated:
• Some claim living within a budget takes the
fun out of life and is too restrictive. But those
who avoid the inconvenience of a budget must
suffer the pains of living outside of it. The
Church operates within a budget. Successful
business functions within a budget. Families
free of crushing debt have a budget. Budget
guidelines encourage better performance and
management (italics added, Marvin J. Ashton,
“It’s No Fun Being Poor,” Ensign, Sept. 1982,
72).
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5. Watch Out for “Well-meaning” Advice
• Be careful with “unsolicited financial advice”
• Many, including family, friends, and others you did
not know, will come to you selling financial
products and advice
• They do this, not because they are thoughtful or
that these are good deals for you, but because
they are good deals for them
• Be careful
• A bit of personal financial advice
• Don’t mix insurance and investments
• Insurance is not your best investment and
investment is not your best insurance—keep35
these two separate
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Watch Out (continued)
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Watch Out (continued)
• Beware the agency problem
• Always ask with any financial product: “How
much are you getting paid from this sale, including
what the company will pay you?”
• With many permanent insurance products, the
sales commissions are huge, up to 120% of first
year commissions!
• With many investment products, there are 6-7%
commissions or higher with front-end loads
• It is hard to get ahead when you pay 7% of
your hard earned money upfront for a sales
charge
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• Remember you are a steward
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Watch Out (continued)
• If someone tries to sell you financial or
insurance products
• Tell them:
• “Thank you for your concern. Let me study it
out and learn more about it. If I have any
questions, I will call you. Please do not call me”
• Then when you are ready and have learned
sufficient to make a good decision, work with a
trusted financial advisor that you are
comfortable with to accomplish your goals
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6. Stand in Holy Places
• Stand in holy places
• Keep doing the things you should be doing and
being in the places you should be in
• Spend time in the temple serving others
• Spend time doing your family history (and
making it as well)
• Spend time serving in your ward callings
• Spend time doing your home and visiting
teaching
• Continue being an example of what the gospel
does in peoples lives
• Help to hasten the work of the Lord
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Holy Places (continued)
• Only go to places where you can feel the Spirit
• If you would not have gone to those places before,
don’t go now
• Continue being the example to your family and
friends of one who listens to and follows the
Spirit
• Continue making your home a “holy place”
• Remember your purpose to help your children
and their families return to Heavenly Father’s
presence
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7. Leave Your Adult Children Alone
• I know you love all your children, but leave
your adult children alone financially
• Many adult children seek financial help for specific
needs
• They assume that the remaining parent has
sufficient funds and they can and will give them
without penalty or the need to pay them back
• Teach your children to be responsible adults
• Leave your children alone!
• You likely do not have the resources to help
them and meet your needs as well
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Leave Your Children Alone (continued)
• After children become adults, they are
responsible for their own financial well-being
• You are not responsible for your adult children’s
finances—your adult children are, regardless of
how they were raised
• Likewise your children are not responsible for
your finances—you are
• Parents who continually support their children
financially, will find their children will always need
support
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Leave Your Children Alone (continued)
• When children (and others) come seeking
money, offer encouragement and counsel:
• “I feel really sad that you are in this predicament.
However, I am confident that as you pray and seek
guidance from the Lord that you will be inspired to
know what to do to solve this problem.”
• Put the responsibility where it belongs—on them
• Express confidence in their ability to solve their
problems by themselves
• Encourage them to solve their problems with the
help of the Lord
• You do not have the resources to solve every one of43
your adult children’s problems
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8. Start Saving Now
• Start saving now
• The best time to start saving was 20 years ago
• The second best time to start saving is today
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Start saving now
• Think through your goals
• If you want to get out of debt, have an adequate
retirement, and save for education and missions for
yourself and children (or whatever the goal), you
must start now!
• You must think long-term now
• “Let the solemnities of eternity rest on your
mind” (D&C 43:34)
• You cannot put off saving
• Time value of money takes just that--time
• The Law of the Harvest is still in effect
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9. Take Responsibility for Your Learning
• Take responsibility for your learning and your
finances
• Our goal is to be wise stewards over the things God
has blessed us with
• The prophet Malachi said:
• Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, . . .
and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of
hosts, if I will not open you the windows of
heaven (Malachi 3:10, 3 Nephi 24:10).
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Take Responsibility (continued)
• The prophet Malachi promised that God will
open the windows of heaven
• However, there is no promise that the windows of
heaven will be financial blessings or that paying
tithing will eliminate all our financial problems
• We still are stewards over what we have and are,
and must learn to live in this increasingly
challenging financial world
• We have been commanded to “seek learning, even
by study and by faith” (D&C 88:118)
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Take Responsibility (continued)
Interesting statistics:
• Average per household debt in the U.S. is $14,500
excluding mortgage debt in 2007
• Credit card users pay 12-20% more than cash users
• 40% of American families spend more than they earn
• The typical family pays $1,200 per year in interest
• About 60% of all active credit card accounts are not
paid off monthly
• Most couples indicate that finances are a major stress
on their marriages
Source: available upon request
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Take Responsibility (continued)
• How do to you learn to be wise financially?
• There are many sources of good information
• It just takes time to sort them out
• Let me add two other sources to your list:
• 1. The LDS Provident Living Website
• www.providentliving.org, then Family
Finances
• 2. The BYU Marriott School of Management’s
Personal Finance website
• http://personalfinance.byu.net
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LDS Provident Living Website
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Provident Living: Finances (continued)
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The MSM Personal Finance Website
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www.Personalfinance.byu.edu
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www.Personalfinance.byu.edu
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10. Remember the “Ifs”
• Finally, widows and widowers (and everyone else)
should remember the four critical “ifs” as they:
• Strive to follow our Savior
• Keep His commandments
• Learn the lessons God is trying to teach them
• Serve others, and
• Stand in holy places
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
10. Wise stewards remember . . . the “ifs”
• Wise stewards remember three critical things
• These are not just the things they must know,
but things they must do!
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
a. The scriptures make us wise . . . if we
learn to read them and obey the
commandments
• It is not enough to read the scriptures—
we must obey the commandments
• O remember, my son, and learn
wisdom in thy youth; yea, learn in thy
youth to keep the commandments of
God (Alma 37:35).
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
b. The Savior makes us holy . . . if we repent
• It is not enough to have a Savior—we must
repent and take advantage of His atonement
• For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer
suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he
suffered the pain of all men, that all men
might repent and come unto him. And he
hath risen again from the dead, that he might
bring all men unto him, on conditions of
repentance (D&C 18:11-12).
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
c. The storms make us strong . . . if we learn the
lessons God wants us to learn
• It is not enough to have a storm—we must learn from
them
• Nevertheless, . . . thou knowest the greatness of
God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for
thy gain (2 Nephi 2:2).
• And if men come unto me I will show unto them
their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they
may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all
men that humble themselves before me; for if they
humble themselves before me, and have faith in
me, then will I make weak things become strong
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unto them (Ether 12:27).
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
• The Brother of Jared knew about storms
• When the brother of Jared came to the ocean on his
way to the “promised land,” he had two problems,
light and navigation. The Lord helped the brother
of Jared with both problems
• The Lord touched the stones, which gave light
• He will help and give us “light” as well
• The Lord sent the storms, to blow Jared and his
family toward the “promised land”
• The storms which He sends to us (like we all
have today) will take us where He wants us
to be so we can return and be with Him
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
• The Lord is in our storms
• He is trying to teach us those things which will take
us to our “promised land,” to return to His presence
• If we learn the lessons He is trying to teach us,
we will become stronger, more valiant in the
testimony of Christ, more willing and able to
serve, and more ready for the next storm
• If we fail to learn the lessons from the storm,
then the Lord will need to teach us these
lessons some other way
• It may take more and even more severe
storms until we learn what we need
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Remember the “Ifs” (continued)
• Though times may be tough and the storms intense,
we believe a prophet who said:
• I testify to you that our promised blessings are
beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may
gather, though the rains may pour down upon us,
our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our
Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort
and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we
walk uprightly and keep the commandments.
There will be nothing in this world that can
defeat us. My beloved brothers and sisters, fear
not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as
your faith (italics added, Thomas S. Monson,
“Be of Good Cheer,” Ensign, May 2009, 92). 62
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How to Make the Most of the Widows Mite?
1. Remember the plan
2. Hold fast to your covenants
3. Understand where you are
4. Give every dollar a name
5. Watch out for “well-meaning” advice
6. Stand in holy places
7. Leave your adult children alone financially
8. Start saving now
9. Take responsibility for your learning
10. Remember the “ifs”
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Summary (continued)
• d. Wise stewards finally know that if they
continually strive to obey the Lord’s
commandments, and seek to become more like
their Savior Jesus Christ, they will come to
know, in spite of all the storms, that:
• “For verily, I say unto you, that great things
await you” (D&C 45:62).
For great things truly await you as you
continue to live, obey, and enjoy this
wonderful gospel of Jesus Christ!
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