LGBT Issues in Fraternity Life
Mark Kalinich, 2013 DKE
Overview
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Why I’m Here
Why You Should Care about LGBT Issues
LGBT Issues in Fraternity Life
Suggestions for Improvement
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Who I Am
• Senior in Chemical-Biological Engineering
• Played Football Middle School-Freshman Year
MIT
• Love weightlifting/powerlifting
• ΔKE Brother
• Gay
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Why I’m Here
• Explain LGBT Fraternity Issues
• Suggest ways to help provide a safe and
accepting environment for LGBT brothers (both in
and out of the closet)
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Why You Should Care
Family Rejection Because of Homosexuality Leads to1:
– 8.4-fold increase in suicide attempts
– 5.9-fold increase in serious depression
– 3.4-fold increase in illegal drug use
1Ryan
et al. “Family Rejection as a Predictor of Negative Health Outcomes in White and Latino Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Young
Adults.” Pediatrics 2007. www.pediatrics.org/cgi/doi/10.1542/ peds.2007-3524
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It’s More than Just Numbers
“I was extremely close to killing myself. I now know
that suicide is never a good option, but back then I
thought that was the only way out of this whole
mess. . .
Anyway, thank you Mark, because although you
didn't actively do anything for me, without knowing
it, you were honestly the first positive "thing" in a
sea of negative shit that was eating away at me”
—email from February 22nd 2013
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Main Problems I Saw
NOT: Active bullying or harassment
• Use and Acceptance of homophobic language
• Heteronormative assumption
• Combine to yield an environment of “passive
hostility” that prevents LGBT brothers from
feeling safe/accepted
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Insert Link to “NoHomophobes.com”
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Problem #1 Homophobic Language
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“That’s so gay”
“Faggot”
“Queer”
“Fairy”
“No homo”
“Dyke”
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Language Suggestions
• Try to remove homophobic language from
your vocabulary
• Speak out when others use homophobic
language
• Discuss derogatory language use as a house
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Issue #2: Heteronormativity
• Basic Problem: Assumptions
• Coupling of Sexual Orientation and
Masculinity
• Leads to Gender-specific Language
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Suggestions
• Use Gender-Neutral Language
• Ask supportive questions “Who were you out
with/dating”
• Don’t assume!
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FAQ: A Brother Comes Out4
DO:
• Be Patient/let them come out at their own pace.
• ASK who they want to know and what you can do
to help them
• Commit yourself as an ally
DO NOT:
• Out them
• Push them to disclose information they don’t
want to
• Make Derogatory Gay Jokes
4
“Tips for When a Person Comes Out to You.” USC Student Affairs. http://sait.usc.edu/lgbt/coming-out/tips-for-when-someonecomes-out-to-you.aspx
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Summary: How You Can Help3
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Accept and Support LGBT Equality
Avoid homophobic language
Confront those who don’t
Don't assume everyone is heterosexual.
Use inclusive language (date vs. girl)
3
“What is an Ally.” University of Akron’s Lesbian, Gay Transgendered and Bisexual Union, 14 December 2009.
http://www.uakron.edu/groups/lgbtu/allies.php
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Resources/Contact
Abigail Francis-Director, Rainbow Lounge
afran@mit.edu
Mark Kalinich—kalinich@mit.edu
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Questions?
3/14/2013
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