Tyler’s Funeral-F2TF--May 25th 2012
This is an incredible honor for me to be able to stand before you and celebrate the
life of my sweet friend Tyler Smith. Many of you may not know that Tyler was my
angel before he was ever diagnosed with cancer. When I would go in for my own
radiation treatments Tyler and Ann would often watch my boys for me and love and
nurture them in my absence, so imagine the shock and horror to learn just one year
later that he had been diagnosed with cancer himself. Tyler and I forged a
friendship in adversity and it will never end!
On Mother’s Day after Tyler had been sent home from the hospital, he asked if my
family and I would come to visit. While there we had a discussion about where he
would live when he left this earth. I stumbled through some explanation about
paradise and peace, and then smiling said, “Probably on a beautiful Golf Green!” I
have since found a scripture for Tyler to back up our conversation and I would like
to share it with you. In 1 Nephi 10:19 it states, “…wherefore, the course of the Lord is
one eternal round.” So you see, Tyler is in paradise!
There may be some of you that have a similar question. Where is Tyler living?
Where do we all live once we live this earth? The prophet Alma in the Book of
Mormon shared this with his son, “Now, concerning the state of the soul between
death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel,
that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the
spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave
them life.”
“And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received
into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace,
where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow” (Alma
40:11-12). I am so happy to think that Tyler and his body are in a state of happiness
and peace, and he is resting from all of the troubles and sorrow of this last year.
There has been an amazing response in this community as a show of support and
love for Tyler and the incredible Smith family. I have seen evidence of that support
on cars, homes, fences, schools, and business marquees. I have even seen it painted
on roads…and I suggest that you do not admit to that right now as Mayor Curtis is in
attendance and I do not want you to go to jail! Tyler touched many and that
influence will never end.
All of these “evidences” got me thinking about the “signs” that have accompanied
Tyler through this journey and I wanted to share them. I recognize that there are a
wide variety of feelings within this room from sadness and unspeakable grief, to
anger and disbelief and even relief and joy. All of these are normal reactions to such
a difficult situation. The first sign that I want to talk about is MIRACLES. Ann shared
in her incredible blog that about a year ago, Darren pulled his family together for a
Family Home Evening and he read and discussed with them the following scripture
in the Book of Mormon: “And now, O all ye that have imagined up unto yourselves a
god who can do no miracles, I would ask of you, have all these things passed, of which I
have spoken? Has the end come yet? Behold I say unto you, Nay; and God has not
ceased to be a God of miracles.”
“And who shall say that Jesus Christ did not do many mighty miracles? And there were
many mighty miracles wrought by the hands of the apostles.”
“And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles
and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he
would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.”
I know the miracle that we were all hoping and praying for was for Tyler to be
healed. I have not been able to stop thinking about the youth in this community that
have prayed and fasted and hoped for a miracle for an entire year, I do not want you
to have a crisis of faith in the midst of such a spiritual journey. I do not want there
to be a single one of you that is questioning whether your prayers were heard or if
your fasting was in vain.
Again in her blog, Ann shared a story when she and Tyler were in the car one day
and she said to him, “I want to have enough money to be able to find a cure for
cancer.” Tyler told her that he did not think there would ever be a cure for cancer
and said, “Mom, Heavenly Father lets there be cancer on the earth so we can learn
how to love and serve each other. Look what is happening to me. And think of how we
will be when I am done with this.”
So if God is a God of miracles, where are they? If your prayers were heard and your
fasting was not in vain, how was this manifested? I want to point out some of the
miracles of Tyler’s journey:







He was given 3 months to live and lived a year
An entire community was united
Special eternal friendships were established
Hearts were touched (some known, some unknown)
Speaking of unknown-- an anonymous donor in the name of Tyler donated to
nine different families in need-- $45,000
Tyler’s blog written by his sweet mom went from 6 likes in the first post to
2,561 likes when she announced his passing, and is being used in untold
ways to bless and strengthen others
Still others have rethought vital decisions in their lives (life altering
decisions) and mended eternal relationships
THE LIST GOES ON AND ON…IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOUCHED BY ONE OF THE MANY
MIRACLES OVER THIS TRYING YEAR STAND! IF YOU HAVE SEEN OR BEEN A PART
OF THE GOOD THAT HAS COME FROM THIS TRAGEDY STAND! LOOK AROUND—
SEE THE GOOD! God has indeed heard your prayers. Your fasting was not in vain.
God is a God of Miracles!
Sign number two, DANGER! THIS MAGNET IS ALWAYS ON. Every time Tyler would
go into the MRI machine for another scan he would see these words posted around
the machine. It struck me that this holds true for all of us. The MAGNET is ALWAYS
ON and we can choose to be pulled either to the positive pole or the negative pole.
Given the circumstances surrounding Tyler, there may be some of you who are
feeling the pull towards the negative and/or the dramatic. You may be feeling
sorrow and despair! Remember that we still have a choice even when out hearts are
breaking.
Tyler was interviewed for a teen magazine and the interviewer questioned how
Tyler could remain so positive about such a negative thing. Listen to Tyler’s
response, “Well, I could complain, but it wouldn’t change my situation…so I decided to
just not talk about it. I can either be happy and feel sick, or just feel sick. I choose to be
happy.”
Tyler made the choice to be happy and expected that from those around him. Tyler
chose happiness, what will you choose? How will you personally respond to the pull
of the negative in your life?
Sign number three, WE CAN DO HARD THINGS! The Smiths have taught all of us
that we can indeed DO HARD THINGS. My family, like many of yours received a
beautifully decorated block of wood from the Smiths at Christmas that simply
stated, “We can do hard things!” I have pondered about that message throughout
the year and have been personally blessed by its reminder. Ann, who has been
referred to by an apostle of the Lord as an “angel mother”, sent me a text message
last week when things were quite grim that simply said, “CAN we do hard things?” I
looked at that wooden block once more and with pain in my heart reflected back,
what I had learned from Ann, “You can indeed DO hard things!”
I was shocked to see the hymn, “How Firm a Foundation” on the program as I have
been drawn to a particular verse when thinking about Tyler, his family, and all who
have been impacted by this unbelievable situation. Lucky for you I will be reading
and not singing! Listen carefully:
“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.”
Despite the pain that we are all feeling right now I find comfort in the words of
Orson F. Whitney, he said, “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is
wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience,
faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when
we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls,
and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of
God…and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the
education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father
and Mother in heaven.”
Tyler and his incredible family have indeed suffered and endured. Their characters
have been built and their hearts have been purified through the pain of this trial and
they stand today more like our Heavenly Father and Mother and isn’t that really the
rub?
We can do hard things because Christ did hard things. He paid the price for all of
our pain and all of our suffering. Indeed Christ went “… forth, suffering pains and
afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled
which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his
people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with
mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor
his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:11-12)
Christ has already paid the price for the pain that Tyler endured, both physical and
emotional and He has paid the price for the pain that we are all in. We can access
that gift of the Atonement and find peace through the only source of true peace,
Jesus Christ. He knows how to succor us and support us through our grief.
The fourth sign is thanks to Tyler’s Aunt Debbie and President Monson… Finishers
Wanted. President Monson was on a stroll down the streets of SLC and taking part
in the time honored tradition of window-shopping. He came upon a prestigious
furniture store, but his eyes were not drawn towards the posh furniture or even the
beautiful chandelier, instead his eyes focused on a simple sign in the corner of the
window that stated, “Finishers Wanted”. This sign sparked his mind to focus on the
role of the Finisher and the importance of this role in closing out an ever-important
sale in the furniture store. He went on to draw a parallel to the “Finishers” in life
and the common characteristics among these people, which include courage, faith,
vision, effort, and virtue. President Monson said, “From the very beginning to the
present time, a fundamental question remains to be answered by each who runs the
race of life. Shall I falter or shall I finish? On the answer await the blessings of joy and
happiness here in mortality and eternal life in the world to come. Times change,
circumstances vary, but the true marks of a finisher remain.
These, the marks of a true finisher, will be as a lamp to our feet in the journey through
life. Ever beckoning us onward and lifting us upward is he who pleaded, ...come, follow
me."
There is no doubt that Tyler possesses these characteristics and has created a
powerful light in this sometimes-dark world, lighting the way for all those who are
seeking. Are you seeking?
This quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell will forever remind me of Tyler’s valiant
battle, “To be cheerful when others are in despair, to keep the faith when others falter,
to be true even when we feel forsaken—all of these are deeply desired outcomes during
the deliberate, divine tutorials which God give to us—because He loves us. These
learning experiences must not be misread as divine indifference. Instead, such
tutorials are a part of a divine unfolding.”
The final sign of Tyler’s battle and one that will stand in our minds and hearts
forever…F2TF—Fight to the Finish! Paul in his epistle to Timothy stated, “I have
fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:” (2 Timothy 4:7).
Tyler has fought a good fight, finished his course, and kept the faith. He has gained
his “crown of righteousness”! What remains to be seen is how the rest of us will do.
What kind of signposts will be illuminated in your life? Will you and I FIGHT TO THE
FINISH and become who He intended us to become?
Tyler has had an incredible mission here on earth, one that has touched hundreds if
not thousands of hearts and souls. I am grateful for him and his valiant example
during this incredible trial. He has been an instrument in the Lord’s hands and his
reaction to this trial has been the antecedent to MIRACLES great and small. Let us
remember that there is DANGER! Because THE MAGNET IS ALWAYS ON and we
have the conscious choice to make everyday of our lives, whether to be positive or
negative as the harsh storms in this life rain down upon us. I hope I can always
make the choice that Tyler made! I hope we never forget the reality that WE CAN
DO HARD THINGS! We were designed to do hard things! And, our Heavenly Father
needs valiant children like Tyler…like YOU to finish the work of bringing peace to
those in need indeed FINISHERS are WANTED. Let us all FIGHT 2 THE FINISH,
following the powerful example that Tyler set.
As I reflect on his statement to his mom a year ago, “…think of how we will be when
I am done with this.” I hope we can land on the positive and truly think about how
we are now that he is done! I am a better person in many, many ways and I know
that I am not alone.
Tyler lives because Christ lives! I am so grateful for the gift of the Atonement, which
makes it possible for each and every one of us to break the bonds of death. I know
that the Book of Mormon is the word of God because of the peace and comfort that it
brings to my hurting heart. I know that Joseph Smith was the prophet that restored
God’s church to the earth and makes it possible for us to live together as families
forever and I know that the heavens are not sealed and we are lead by a living
prophet today, Thomas S. Monson. Of these things I am truly grateful! In the name
of Jesus Christ, amen.