The Complete Unabridged Transcription of The Second Breakfast Reunion Special— Live on TheOneRing.net
aka, The One and Only One Ring Monaboyd Interview, aka, the most fabulous Monaboyd interview ever recorded, which is saying something.
For your viewing pleasure, this wonderful interview is available in its entirety on YouTube, right here, generously provided by TheOneRing.net and includes such
little gems as the following:
"You got rid of the mustache."
"You hated it, didn't you."
"I didn't mind it."
"You said it tickled."
"It tickled a bit."
And if you're so inclined (although I totally would not recommend it unless you want to end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning) the Drinking Game is as
follows.
...Every time Billy puts his arm around Dom.
...Every time Billy checks his phone.
...Every time Cliff propositions Billy, indirectly or otherwise.
...Every time Dom stares at Billy's face.
...Every time Billy kicks his leg or plays with chainmail.
...Every time Dom surreptitiously but deliberately changes the subject.
...Every time Dom looks at or otherwise references Billy's penis.
...Every time they compliment or touch each other (two drinks if it happens at the same time).
...Every time someone says 'Brilliant'.
...Chug a beer when the idea of maturity goes out the window.
(feel free to add your own here)
Quick few notes/disclaimers on the transcription of this… All mistakes and mistranslations are mine. It's
very hard to decipher exactly what is being said when they all talk over each other. This took hours of
rewinding and pausing and typing between intervals of laughing my head off and squeeing like the
Monaboyd fangirl I am, so there are probably mistakes. I'm also omitting all spoken chatroom/twitter
handles except for people Cliff works with because I don't want to single anyone out and I don't know how
some of them are spelled anyway. I may also omit various "Yeah, Yeah's," "Hmm's" and "Oh's" spoken
over others, because there are a ton of them. There are also occasional time stamps every few minutes
so you can watch and follow along if you like.
Dom is blue of course
Billy is, as ever, green
Cliff is in Red, for the fez
Background Dudes are black.
I hope I have picked colors that are not too hard on the eyes. I'd recommend clicking through to the community page itself so it can be read on a white background
if your journal colors are otherwise set.
--Quirky Intro...
That's it. *laughs*
*imperceptible Scottish*
*mumbles something* I really appreciate you guys doing this.
Ah, we're into it.
Two long minutes of nothing.
0:02:56
So we hold this...
If you want.
*textstextstexts*
And then pass it around to each other.
Yeah! If you want to, I mean, pull up something like... 'I want you guys to check out this video', or... or
Oh fucking bollocks.
... or any story, there's... hold on a second. You get a new tab, hit that plus sign...
Fucking new tab oh, you fuck.
And it tabs across...
*mumble* Fucking fuck. *mumble* fuck.
Okay, ready when you guys are ready!
*textstextstexts* Are you allowed to swear? *textstextstexts*
No. Probably not.
*textstextstexts* You'd better find out. *textstextstexts*
Are we gonna use live mics, or just these?
We're live right now!
We're live right now! Good!
We're going live! We're going live!
*textstextstexts* When? *textstextstexts*
When? Already, now!
*textstextstextstops* This is live?
Already, now! Yes.
WOW.
0:03:34
Hello everybody! Are you guys seeing that camera hidden in the distance?
*waves*
Oh there it is.
Hello [chat ID] good morning! We can see you! Look! We can see our friends joining us in this live chatroom.
*salutes*
*squints*
Welcome to TheOneRing.net, our TORn Tuesday episode has been moved to an earlier timeslot, thank you guys for being so flexible.
*textstextstexts*
*squints*
I know we have and international audience from around the world, and I couldn't be happier to introduce our excellent guests, our very fine guests, and, and, uh...
our slightly odiferous guests.
Thank you!
Yes, you're welcome.
We can read minds? I had no idea we could read minds.
Some of us can.
That's amazing.
Guys, Dominic Monaghan and Billy Boyd here, on our couch. Hello!
Hiya! Now this thing here, this is the World Wide Internet?
*gazes pensively at World Wide Internet for the next several minutes*
That... There's one chatroom for the StickCam, they're our video host. The other Lord of the Rings Chatroom for TheOneRing.net is Barliman's right there. So we
can interact with anybody at anytime.
They can see us through the computer terminals?
Yes, they can see us. Guys, we're not getting a video preview on this monitor of what the camera sees, just fyi, but... *thumbs up* Hello Austria!
Hey Austria, Gütentag.
There was someone from Germany a second ago, I know, your homeland, your Deutschland.
Mein Geburtland, ja. Oh, the connection is very bad for [Chat ID], sorry about that.
It's been fixed down here, though.
It's really streaming right now.
*laughs* I can't believe it, we have about 840 viewers live...
Gütentag.
0:05:03
...and we have our friends here to talk about some of their newest projects, and some of their crazy new mischief that they're getting into...
Just tie my jacket up. I'm still carrying around a little holiday weight.
I wish I had a jacket. *textstextstexts*
You're not the only one. So, welcome everybody, again. So, I'm so happy to begin this show with you guys, I've been dying, really, dying to get you guys on my
little red couch—and it doesn't sound as salacious as it sounds, okay.
*puts down phone, picks up Gandalf plushie*
Saucy.
Yeah, I'm a little sucio. You know, uh, esta bién, eh?
*nods*
So, what are you guys doing today, what's up in LA?
Well, Dom has been up since the birds get up.
Crack of dawn.
Crack of dawn. What time did you get up this morning?
I was up at about 5 AM, Billy.
5 AM, ladies and gentlemen!
5 American AM, and then I did a...
What for?
I was talking to people on the East Coast for breakfast radio stuff, and then I went and did West Coast TV, and then I came here early, so that I could buy you—
*points to Billy*—comics.
A gift?
Isn't that amazing?
That is amazing.
I'm like a modern day philanthropist.
*laughs* You're like Robin Hood.
Yeah… What?
We are at Meltdown Comics, They host our show every week. Meltdown is like the Mecca, the grand center of all geekdom in LA.
True.
You want good comics, graphic novels or stand-up comedy from geeks of all stripes, you know live shows, this is the place.
Yeah, and cos we were doing this today at Meltdown Comics, they had to close the front door, and we actually shut the front door in George Lucas' face.
Remember that?
Yeah!
He tried to get in and we slammed it in his face as said 'you can't come in George.
He'll come back later, though, won't he?
He can come back later, yeah.
He deserves it. We keep abusing him and he keeps coming back.
Someone just asked, 'Dom, does Billy have a Gandalf Plushie?'. Does that have sexual reference?
Yes it is, Dom, and do I?
Let's have a look…*checks Billy's lap* Yep! He definitely does!
*nods*
[Chat ID] is one of our moderators in the room, she helps keep people under control when they get wild, thank you [Chat ID] we appreciate that, and there's [Chat
ID] and [Chat ID], hello [Chat ID].
Yeah, be careful, no bad swears. You can say things like 'crap' and 'bologna', but don't say bad swears.
No 'bollocks'. You can't say 'bollocks'… oops.
What have you been doing today?
I haven't done much today. I went for a swim.
Ooh.
That was nice.
An aquatic adventure.
Yeah, and I just thought… I felt quite sad that you had to get up so early.
Yeah? Don't worry about me.
But you probably had to do that cos you've got a TV show starting tonight, don't you?
Yeah, yeah, TV.
Why don't you tell us about it.
Thanks about that, Billy. He's always good for that.
*laughs*
Yeah, Wild Things on BBC America, tonight, 10/9 central, which is very confusing because that means it's on at different times, doesn't it?
It is. I'm afraid our country has been split into 4 hours.
Oh, that's awful for you guys.
10/9 central.
So when a piece of news happens, that's important, the other side of the country doesn't hear about until four hours later?
Well, unless there's a simulcast and it's live. I mean the Oscars come on and everyone gets confused, is it four in the afternoon or is it eight o'clock at night?
Depends upon what coast you're on.
But how can it be two, ten, nine? What does that mean?
10/9 central.
10/9 central, what does that mean?
10/9 central, I just keep saying it, 10/9 central.
10/9 central? Ok, 10 Eastern, 9 Central, and then 8 Mountain Time, 7 Pacific, so...
That sounds nice, doesn't it, Mountain Time.
Mountain Time.
That's lovely.
*laughs* Yeah, BBC America is going to launch the very first episode of the new series Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan. &9835;Dun-dun-duh!&9835;
*fistpump*
That's me!
0.08:32
And that's gonna be on tonight, and all of our friends in Europe and in England have been enjoying it, and loving the show, but tonight, you know, us Yanks get our
very first glimpse of Dominic playing around with Monocle Cobras, and all kinds of bugs and insects and creepy crawlies and, well, animals that are built to kill.
Yeah, yeah, pretty much, and uh, you know, it's a big—
*phone dings, dives for it*
Did you get a text?
Sorry about that, I'll just check it.
Check that. It could be Spielberg trying to get in your front door.
*wheezes laughing*
You never know. Uh, it is a show that I'm really passionate about, and I'm hoping that the Ringers will show up and see...
*textstextstexts*
Another reason why the Ringers should show up and watch the show is because, I was hoping to take Billy with me to New Zealand this season, but we blew our
budget, we bought a lot of burgers and beer.
And I'm quite expensive.
Very expensive. But the second season we're hoping to go with Billy to New Zealand, and look for all manner of stuff and hopefully get him to do like the biggest
bungee jump in the world...
I love it.
...throw him out of and airplane, you know that kind of stuff.
*textstextstexts*
You know there's unique wildlife and unique animals that are isolated in that ecosystem in New Zealand—
Certainly, yeah.
—that are found nowhere else in the world. That's fascinating to me. Let me ask you, your producers get together with you and they say 'Here's our travel budget,
here's our ideas, we can travel the world, let's go'. What do you say to that, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
We sit down and and have a conversation where they say 'what stories do we want to tell?' and I was really passionate about wanting to tell a story about ants and
bees this season, because I think ants are probably my favourite animal ever and I wanted to tell a story like that. We also wanted to tell some real dynamic stories
so people tuned in, so we did things like the world's largest spider, because that makes makes people kind of go 'oh!' And we did the world's rarest beetle because
I wanted to show people that—
And that's not Ringo?
It's not Ringo, no.
*giggles*
Even though they think that, you know, insects are innumerous, there's actually insects that are endangered and this is a beautiful large beetle in Camaroon,
Africa, so we tell a lot of stories and then we work out if we can factor it into the budget and I had a New Zealand story ready to go, and then they came to me and
they said 'We can tell the story, but if you want to bring Billy, we don't have $14 million dollars, so we need to wait until next year.'
Well, he brings his entourage and his contract demands for plated dinner twice a day, all that stuff, yeah.
*nods sagely* Mmhmm, there's a lot of safety things that you've got to go into before we can eat spiders, et cetera.
It's outrageous. His breakfast requirements are: you have to poach 20 eggs, and he'll pick the best 2. Throws out 18 eggs every morning.
Billy!
Oh, I don't care.
*laughs*
Two tasty, tasty eggs.
Hey, do you guys want to see a trailer of the show?
Yes I do! I've seen the show!
We are!
*grabs iPad* So do I just press play and then flip it?
Guys, if you're ready at the B camera, we're gonna play it off this pad, we've got the preview ready. Welcome ladies and gentlemen, this is your first glimpse of
Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan.
So I just press play?
Yeah
*fistpump* Wild Things!
0:11:09 Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan trailer
Now do I flip it like that?
No! It just happens!
No, they've got it connected in the back.
Guys enjoy it.
Is it on?
There's no sound!
*turns up sound manually, restarts*
Oh, William! Well done, saved the day!
Here we go! Yes! Wild Things!
0:12:03
...because we had to squeeze in. *gets off couch, fumbles in pockets*
Hiya. Now, we have car problems, Billy has to move his car, I have to get my car moved.
This is Los Angeles, after all.
*heavy sigh*
We have a valet.
Do you want to move it? *hands keys off* Don't scrape it.
Yeah.
You'll need to move Dom's first cos he's blocking me in.
Ok.
Are you sure? Yours is in front of mine!
Yeah. I managed to squeeze in.
Okay, my car's already unlocked.
You said we'd be fine there, Cliff!
I thought we'd be fine there, oh shit.
You were like, 'just park there, that's fine'.
Well...
Billy's gone into quite a dark mood.
*makes a grumpy face*
Famous last words.
Here, I'll give you that now. *hands Billy the iPad*
I've never been this sad in my life. Right in the middle of your thing!
No, I was done!
I want to watch it again!
Did you guys enjoy it? *squints at chatroom*
*laughs and waves*
That lady loves our accents. *waves* We don't have accents, you have accents.
'Ha ha ginormous', says someone.
Yeah, I say 'ginormous' a lot.
You said 'ginormous' in the trailer, yeah.
I say 'ginormous' and 'huge' a lot, I don't know why.
Is it a half hour or a full hour show?
It's an hour, yeah.
Okay, that's fantastic.
It's an hour. So there's a little bit of education, little bit of fun, little bit of street food, little bit of football, little bit of travel, lots of stuff that I'm really into, and you
know, stuff that Billy and I do. Billy and I went on holiday to Thailand when we were doing Lord of the Rings and apart from really hectic animals, we pretty much
did an episode of Wild Things. We went, we kayaked, we played football, we ate crazy food, we, you know… might have met a woman or two? You were single
back then, do you remember?
Yeah. You were an whore, I remember that.
I was single too. Ate great food, you know, went on adventures, went to bottle beach, so much fun.
It was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah, you can eat your way one end of Thailand to the other end.
Yeah, it's amazing country.
It's amazing. So, uh...
You know what Dom does, in hot countries...
Go on.
...if we're sharing a room, which sometimes we do.
*giggles*
*giggles*
Not just… Orlando was there as well, there was three of us, you know.
Yeah.
But it was a big group. We all had separate beds, you know.
*laughs*
But, what he does, is he turns up the air conditioning, until it's like Antarctica. It's FREEZING. And then he hides the thing for the...
*laughs*
*laughs*
Because he loves it so cold, that I'm like… I'm in bed with sweaters on.
Really.
*laughs*
In Thailand, and it's like 100 degrees.
Yeah, it's really hot out there.
*keeps giggling* He had a hoodie. *mimes hoodie* He had a hoodie on.
And we were like 'where is the thing!' and he hides it.
I hid it under my pillow cos I knew they'd get it off me, you know. I don't care.
That's so funny.
WOW, MY FLY'S OPEN.
*reaches behind himself* What is this digging into my back? HANG ON.
WAIT A MINUTE.
0:14:29
IT'S THE NEW BEECAKE ALBUM!
There you go!
What! Blue Sky Paradise!
And it's a gatefold…*unfolds CD* OOOH! WHAT!
*with Dom* OOOH! Check it out.
Beautiful. I have to tell you, Billy, my favourite song is Track 7: Waiting for You, or The Clown. Tell us about The Clown!
Wait 'til you hear about The Clown, Dom. What, why should I let you hear, when I can let you see the new video?
OOOH!
Oh, that's even better!
From The Clown.
Beecake is launching their second album, guys, it's really fantastic, it was released on Christmas Day, wasn't it?
I don't know, was it?
Yeah, 25th of December.
No! 22nd!
22nd? Well, in the United States we got the next Tuesday... thing.
Because of the three day… thing.
Time, time. Cos you're on Mountain Time.
We're on Mountain Time..
*giggles*
We're on Misty Mountain time.
Three days difference.
So, seriously, Austin Hall *waves* is one of my music producers and friends.
*textstextstexts*
Hi Austin. *waves* My dad's called Austin.
Yeah, he's saying 'hello, nice, Billy, cheers'. Beecake has produced a beautiful album. It is melodic, it is beautiful, it is so well-produced, and it's really gorgeous
stuff. Can't wait for you guys to check it out. Blue Sky Paradise.
You can get it on iTunes.
Yes you can.
You can get it on Beecake.com.
Yeah.
You can get it on signed on Beecake.com.
Wow.
Not by you. You're not in the band.
No, I'm not.
But you can sign some of them.
But, may I say, you sing like a bloody lark.
Why would you say that?
Like a lark!
What a lovely thing to say.
Yeah, You're welcome.
Do you want to see the video?
Yes I do. Yes, very much want to see it.
Yeah, yeah! Let's see!
Now apparently, I wasn't being rude and texting, I was trying to find the video, which is on the internet somewhere, *whispers*privately.
OH.
So, if I press play on this—*points to phone*—people behind the scenes...
Well, actually *points at iPad in Billy's lap* this device is connected.
Apparently someone said I could do this, and
*Tech dude comes to the rescue.*
This is a guy!
TECHNICAL PROBLEMS, RINGERS, TRY NOT TO PANIC, STAY WITH US.
What's your name? Right?
If I didn't know better I'd say we have, we've had over 9,900 people in the past...
That's nice! Where are you seeing that number? Oh up there?
See? *points to chatroom screen* Session viewers 9, 934.
Session viewers, oh we've got to break 10,000, let me just show the gatefold again and then we'll break 10,000 *unfolds CD with a whistle*
What, I do it on here? *holds iPad
Tech dude agrees.
I'll need to find it, then. I'll need to do this… Will you help me with this? I'm not very... Would someone…? I'm not a guy who knows about these things.
*laughs* Yeah you know plenty, Billy, don't let...
No, hold on.
Don't let him fool you, ladies and gentlemen. Trying to be demure.
And here's what interesting. Billy put this in as an art design with the album. If you turn the album 180 degrees, Billy goes upside down.
*laughs*
*gasps* Are you kidding me? That's revolutionary.
You thought about that?
I did think about that.
That's brilliant. That is pretty brilliant.
Alright, hold on, I need to click this thing. Keep talking, Dom.
Hang on, get off Friendster, don't... you shouldn't be on Friendster.
Why? H?
Yeah?
T, T,
Oh, this is gonna be awhile. *drops head backward*
P, S… Talk about something.
Oh that's a secure server!
Yeah!
Oh yeah, he's totally trying to find it.
Let's chat! Let me try my hosting technique on you, and see how you do.
Okay. Go ahead, Dom.
What's your favourite way to eat an egg?
Naked.
Oh, nice!
*laughs* Oh, there we go.
What's your favourite type of cheese?
Naked cheese.
Oh, that's a good cheese.
I'm on my A game today guys, I really am.
If you had the opportunity to do something to Jennifer Lopez and there was no judgement, what would it be?
Oh my gosh, that's um. *whistles*
KEEP IT CLEAN.
You know what? I would like to dance with her in the fountains, like they do in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. I've always wanted to dance with JLo. She'd
be a great partner, I would love to dance with her, and not like, you know, the hot oogie-boogie street stuff that kids are doing these days. I mean classic Waltz. I
wanna waltz with JLo, that's what I would do. I would love to waltz with her, wouldn't you?
*whispers* Oh, I'd love to, I'd love to.
Which makes me think, that the first track on Blue Sky Paradise—
HANG ON, let me reference this: The Dog's Waltz!
Mmhmm.
OH I LOVE THAT. Is that one…?
See how that went, and came around there?
That song is so good! He's like 'maybe someone else has a bigger stick'.
Right?
Yeah!
Oh, do you want me to do an impression of you at the start of that?
Yeah, do it.
Ready? This is Billy, in the album. 'I dreamt I was a dog'.
That's very good, isn't it?!
*laughs*
That's pretty good, right?
Your Glasgow accent is perfect.
*points to Billy* I hang out with this idiot a lot.
I found the video.
LET'S DO IT.
We have it? We have the video guys, very good.
This is the video for The Clown, which is about materialism and trying to have too much stuff and we're all just clowns. This is it. See if I press play, what will
happen? It'll work?
Magic! Magic! Track 3 on the album, guys, Track 3.
It's 4 minutes 22. It's not going yet, it's not going yet, it's not going yet, it's not going yet.
Nah. There you go.
It's going.
0:19:08 Beecake video for The Clown.
Nice.
Am I going to weep?
Oh, do I just fill the screen? Oh.
You messed it.
Is it working?
Yeah cos look. Oh.
Don't full screen it.
Oh, don't full screen it?
Don't full screen it, guys.
*giggles*
We broke 10,000.
It works, yes, everyone can see.
0:23:31
*CLAPS* A triumph! An absolute triumph!
Thank you!
*claps* Super cool.
It was super cool and super cold.
It was?
You make a very, very sad clown. But I've always though that about you.
*hands something to Dom* It's broken.
*tucks object behind his ear*
Billy where did you get the inspiration for this song?
Right, well, as I said, it's about, you know, we collect stuff, you know, hundreds of stuff to the point now, that we have to have storage places to keep our stuff. We
don't need that much stuff!
*shakes head*
So the idea is, these guys would rather have all their stuff, in a boat, sinking, and they won't even leave it then! They'd rather die than lose their stuff.
Ugh, clowns.
Clowns. So that's what that's about.
That's so cool.
What do we need? What do you think we do need?
We need love.
Lovely.
We need food.
Yeah.
And we need compassion.
Now, when you say food, do you mean buffalo wings?
No, no.
Oh God, I thought that.
You love buffalo wings, don't you?
Oh, it's fantastic.
That's his one vice.
Yeah it is.
That is your one vice.
It's the only thing I do that is almost illegal.
He will suck the meat... off of 15 buffalo wings.
I'm so glad you finished that sentence.
*laughs gleefully* and the bat off a bat's wing.
One of our friends just said 'I love to play Beecake songs on my ukelele'. How many instruments do you play besides the ukelele?
Forty-seven.
What?!
Yes, forty-eight all-in.
Really?!
Like a mini-Mozart.
*kicks*
*laughs*
And he was mini.
Very accomplished, cos you'll travel with your uke, won't you? Cos it's easier.
I will, often. Cos it's easier than a guitar, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it's smaller.
Is it?
Yeah, and it's got less strings.
Has it?
Yeah.
*giggles*
*laughs*
*laughs*
Right, what else? Someone said on the forum there that they thought is was a really dark video and they loved it. And I would agree with that.
It is quite dark.
Fantastic.
But I think that's okay.
Is it?
*giggles loudly*
There's something about the musical form, and I want to talk about this in an abstract way, forgive me. Poetry is one thing, but songcraft is another thing entirely. It
has a tendency to stick with us more. It has more of an emotional impact, and I really appreciate that sensibility that you bring as a songwriter to all this work you're
doing with Beecake. What do you think about the power of music as far as storytelling? I mean, even Tolkien decided it was very important to have songs and
songcraft as part of the overall storytelling in LOTR. And you have applied yourself as an actor, as musician… how is it different for you? How does it inspire you?
I would agree with you there. I think music, songs have an immediacy that no other art form has. I think it can, even if it's in a different language, it can touch you in
a way no other art form can, and in a very immediate way. You know, like plays are amazing to sit in a room and watch, you know a story being told. Film is kind of
our generation's medium, I think, you know, it's the way that we tell stories. But songs I think are so immediate, if they're done kind of correctly, it can touch you in
a way quicker than any other art form, I think. And a lot of that, I think, is to do with truth, and I think if I was going to get negative about songwriting, or song
direction—
Don't, don't, don't. *grabs Billy's arm*
*grabs Dom's fingers* Oh please, can I just… just for a second, Dom.
Alright, alright. I HATE when he gets negative!
Music sometimes now gets so polished and so, you know, tuned, and auto-tuners on voices and stuff, that it loses it.
It's manufactured.
Yeah, it becomes a nice thing, but it doesn't touch you in a way that, kind of music that maybe has some mistakes in it, or you hear things that you shouldn't hear,
that's what makes it wonderful and human.
When you guys, when you and your bandmates are working together on a new song or a new project, how do you approach songwriting? Cos its organic, entirely.
Yeah, kind of. Most of the songwriting I do myself, like to get the song to a place where it has lyrics and a melody, and, you know, maybe some little things, and
then we go and we make it The Song, The Band. And then there's a few songs like, say, Rooftop, on the new album that's written by all of us, so it's all of us in a
room, just kind of bringing what that kind of evening brought to us, you know, in a kind of truthful way as well. And whatever that brings, we go with. So we don't try
and make it… 'oh we have to make the chorus more catchy' or 'we have to make the verse…' Whatever's truthful in that moment, becomes that song.
Fantastic.
We were listening to The Sundays a lot when we were in New Zealand, alongside a whole bunch of artists, but with The Sundays was one of the ones for me that
really reminds me of New Zealand. One of things I love about that band—and I know we all did, Elijah, Billy and I geeked out about it—is the fact that, when they're
playing acoustic tracks on the guitar, they never take out the scratching of the strings on the fret, you know when you hear the strings go—
Yeah, yeah.
I love that on the fretboard.
Me too, me too.
I love hearing frayed edges where people will plug in, and they'll say 'is everyone ready?' and they'll start. It feels like you're into something a little more intimate,
then. It's cool.
I agree. Well, the whole thing about songs and performance, is not alien to you either, you've actually been on stage singing a couple of numbers yourself.
Yeah, well partial songs yeah, I mean Driveshaft had a verse and a chorus and I just did this thing earlier today called 'What's Trending', where they sat me down
in front of a computer and they showed me about three minutes of cut footage of people singing Driveshaft. Geeks. And someone had a Lego version of the
Driveshaft song, and they had a Mr. Potato head in there. It's crazy, it's got a life of its own.
Really?
I wanted the whole Driveshaft thing to have a real Oasis-y quality to it, you know, just lads having fun, little bit of boy culture, not too highbrow. But, as you can
hear from Billy's harmonies, I mean, what he is doing is… on a different level.
It is. It's quite amazing. Quite amazing.
I like Driveshaft, though!
I'd like to go for a drink with them, d'you know what I mean?
I would, yeah!
I feel like they'd be fun. And just to touch on what you said, like Sigur Rós is one of my favourite bands ever, and I don't speak Icelandic, I have no idea what they
are saying.
A whole audience of Ringer fans around the world discovered Sigur Rós because you did.
Oh, that's wild.
I went to Amoeba Music and picked them up because, literally, you did.
And they're an amazing band.
You're changing the world.
Aren't I, though?
Very slowly, by using your mind.
One Icelandic band at a time.
Go Björk!
And the thing is I don't speak Icelandic, and also the first album isn't even in Icelandic, they created their own language, I don't know what these guys are saying,
but oh, it just touches me, you know. I like to get in a lovely hot warm bubbly bath, and just put it on and just enjoy my mind.
They created their own language?
Yeah, for the first album, it's not even Icelandic. &9835;Oooooh&9835;
My Spanish did that as well.
What did you call it?
Spanish.
And that's just gibberish, they're never even talking?
No, not at all.
Spanish gibberish.
So if I would say to you, in Spanish, 'Hola amigo', what does that translate into English?
It means nothing.
Really?
It means nothing.
You are bending my mind right now.
It's crazy.
That's hysterical.
Incredible.
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0:31:08
Everyone keeps saying to Billy, 'Sing something'.
No.
Not really? You've got to pay him first.
Even Elisabeth Fraser from the Cocteau Twins, would sing in vocalizations that were freeform, they were abstract, they weren't English, and she ended up singing
'Gandalf's Lament' in the Lothlorien Scene.
Really?
Yeah, Howard Shore pulled her in to work on that.
Really, that's who did that?
Yeah, that's her.
We should know that.
Yeah, we should.
Cos I liked that.
Oh, I just rocked your musical archaic minds.
Our Lord of the Rings trivia is terrible. In fact, watch this, I'll ask Billy a question. Billy.
Yeah.
Who played the wizard, Gandalf, in Lord of the Rings, the trilogy by Peter Jackson.
Which one?
You know, the grey one with the beard.
No, which film?
He's in all three!
No.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not the same guy.
He's got that stick, and he goes white, and looks a little bit like God.
Yeah. Yeah but the grey guy and the white guy was different.
No, it's the same guy!
What?
Do you know his name?
No.
Ah. Scottish guy.
Tall.
Yep.
Mmmm.
Want me to tell you?
Yeah.
Put you out of your misery?
Yeah.
Sir John Gielgud.
He was wonderful.
Brilliant. Oscar winner. Brilliant.
He'll go far.
Hang on, what's this digging into my back?
WHAT THE—WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS IS MY BROTHER'S ALBUM.
YES *kicks*.
WOW. My brother's in a band as you can see, called Radiosepia, or Seh-pia, if you're from Spain. 'Digital Scars', available on iTunes, wow. Now I'm only doing this
because my brother said if I don't promote his music, he'll punch me directly in the face.
It's brilliant music. I often dance to it.
Yeah. Great song on it called 'Laser Guided Bombs'. Not to be confused with laser guided bums.
*giggles* Imagine you could guide your bum with a laser.
That's a YouTube video.
Really?
Buy it, Radiosepia. It's on iTunes.
BUY IT.
Buy Beecake and Radiosepia
WHY WOULDN'T YOU?
Get in the bath. You'll love it.
There's fans already here saying they love Radiosepia. There's people already on it, you guys get up on it.
What does 'sepia' mean?
I think it's a type of cheese.
What?
Yeah.
It's not his favourite.
No, it's not. He's likes uh, what did you like?
Naked cheese!
I like naked cheese.
It's a Bavarian goat's cheese.
Delicious.
Rare.
Is it not something to do with an animal? Cos you would know this, cos Dom's Wild Things... is on tonight! BBC America.
Hiya *waves* 10/9 central. What does that even mean?
Dunno what that means. If you're in a mountain, if you're in a mountain it's like half-seven or something.
Wait, isn't sepia a colour?
That's what I thought! Radiosepia, but then I read something on Radiosepia.com or something, and it said it's something to do with a lizard or something?
Well yeah, I thought, maybe in Spanish...
Or a monkey?!
*laughs and claps* I think in Spanish it's like a cuttlefish or an octopus.
That's what it is! THAT'S WHAT IT IS! YEAH!
Is there any Spanish people out there that can confirm that?
Spanish is not a real language!
Oh, that's right.
It is, it's like an octopus.
We'll have to ask the Puerto Rican people, they'll know.
That's real.
Or anyone who speaks Brazilian language. What do they speak in Brazil? Is it German?
Yeah, mainly German, but sometimes Bavarian.
Oh Bavarian, yeah.
It's sepia.
In the mountains!
MOUNTAIN TIME.
We have a question from [Chat ID], who says 'I'd like to know how Monaboyd Enterprises is coming along.'
Fantastic. Wait, someone just said, 'octopus ink is sepia'.
There we go.
That might be it.
And it also means something else, so it's got like two or three meanings.
Right.
Which is kind of cool.
Well, it is also a wash, like a tone or a colour wash.
Well, that's what I always thought, was like them saying that, because they use kind of violins and all that, so I thought it was kind of sepia like...but it turns out it's
a octopus.
Well, that makes sense because if…*reaches for CD* I wonder if it's on here. No. But one of the designs of my brother's band has a little octopus thing. I should
ask him, I should get Matt on the phone.
That's what it is. That's it. That's what it is. Let's call him. Why don't you phone him?Why don't you skype him?
HE NEVER PICKS UP FROM ME, YOU KNOW THAT.
*laughs*
Sorry. Only a moment.
Who does? Who does?
Um. Monaboyd Enterprises. Brilliant. Billy and I have a couple of scripts in the works, and we still have the dance studio, Thursday nights, four o'clock, I do street
dancing, Billy will do a slow waltz.
Mountain Time.
Mountain Time.
A slow waltz with JLo.
Yeah, oh it's a dream.
So, our movies are coming along slowly, but goodly.
Someone says they were at DragonCon, she asks are you coming back to DragonCon?
We were just talking about that. That was a wild, hot, crowded… it was great, wasn't it? He was there, I remember you. *points to guy off camera*
I was there as well.
I remember, you were the Lion, and I remember you, *points to Cliff* you were the Strawman..
You were Dorothy, obviously.
It was crazy! I loved it. Have you ever been?
Click your heels, we'll go back there right now.
I loved it! There's no place like Atlanta.
There's no place like Atlanta, that's for sure. The humidity, it just makes the clothes stick to you.
It's crazy, though, isn't it? Have you been?
No.
Let's go this year.
Alright, let's go.
I would love to go!
It's hot and sweaty.
It's like, there's like *gesticulates hugely* this square of like 5 hotels where it's just like a million people, and there's like Storm Troopers and all sorts of crazy
things, and that grey guy you were talking about… the wizard?
Gandalf, yeah, yeah.
All that, and then you step across the street, which I did one day, right? I didn't find this out until like the second, third day, I stepped across and in a restaurant…
no one.
*laughs*
Honestly! It's like you can't cross the street, if you cross the street it's like you turn into normal person with a suit or something.
You might have actually gone to another world or something.
I think something like that happened!
You stepped into a time chasm.
And you can watch everyone from the other side of the street and then you step back in and then your back in it again.
I'd like to go.
Please go.
Let's go. Yeah.
0:37:00
Can you do this? *holds leg up high like a gymnast*
Oh my god. Wow.
That's yoga, innit?
No, that's just me kicking my leg.
That's just you lifting your leg over your head. Let me try. *groans and gets leg halfway up* I can't do it. *holds up one finger* Can you do that?
No, I tried it once.
It's difficult.
I did it with two. *holds up two fingers*
No. Gotta do it with one.
Well, we all knew that Hobbits were limber, but I didn't know you were that limber.
Oh yeah.
He does yoga. He's like a guru. *coughs*
Oh wow. Comic-Con. Yes. People are asking about Comic-Con San Diego.
Now this, I believe is a comic book convention in San Diego?
It once was, yeah.
Well, it's now films and tv.
It's jumped the shark now, but that's just my one man's opinion.
Now do you think DragonCon is what Comic-Con used to be?
Yes. DragonCon is like the center of the real creativity.
It's exciting, isn't it?
There's fans with cosplay interest, there's fan who have academic interests, and they'll sit around all day having an academic symposium about what happened in
the Tardis with Doctor Who in 1967, and then all night long they'll be raving and dancing and partying all night.
It's totally fun. Anyone who's never been.
Yeah, I've not been!
It's real, it feels real, it's great fun.
I'm into it.
Let's go, together.
Can we just talk about your fez for a moment?
It is a real Istanbul fez. A real fez, take a look, see? *hands fez to Dom* See, it's got mirrors sewn into it.
It does, to stop all the badness from going in from above. Beautiful.
It keeps my head warm at night.
Beautifully done. *sniffs* Smells like tunafish.
Why's that?
What?
That's strange.
It does not smell.
Beautiful. Now you came in in a different hat. You came in in a like a flat cap.
Yeah, well, no. I've got like two or three different hats.
*Newsboy cap is tossed to Dom from offscreen*
Oh yeah.
There you go. Doubles as a frisbee.
Give it a whirl.
*Dom sets the hat on his head with a whistle*
Wow. Do you know what? When I saw you today, I thought you looked really handsome.
And then what happened?
No, you still do, but it's kind of worn off a little.
Oh, thanks.
But when I first saw you, I thought, 'Christ, he's handsome!'. Do you think that?
*nods*
I'm trying a slightly conservative haircut. I'm usually go a little, you know, spikey and stuff.
I liked it.
I want to be more well behaved.
And it's like you shaved down a little bit, you made your eyes slightly bluer.
I got rid of my mustache.
You got rid of the mustache.
You hated it, didn't you.
I didn't mind it.
You said it tickled.
It tickled a bit.
Yeah.
...Meanwhile, back at the ranch.
Hiya.
Blinded by Dom's beauty.
Thank you very much, that's sweet.
That is very sweet.
17,000 English people, and one American person online right now.
What!
Thank you [chat ID] I appreciate that. Hey, what have we got here?
*object tossed in*
What is that?
Chainmail.
Is that a mithril vest?
Is it real?
Oh, that's heavy.
That cost more than the whole of Hobbiton put together.
The whole of the Shire, yeah it's worth something.
God, that is heavy.
That's the real deal. Did our friend Grimlock make this?
Someone just said, 'will Beecake ever come to Brazil?' You'd love to do a concert in Brazil?
I would love to go to Brazil.
It's a hat, by the way. You guys ready for this?
Do it.
Do you know what this is? *puts on chainmail*
If you put that on I'll hit you with a hatchet.
I need a hatchet on my head right now. Okay?
It wouldn't hurt!
Oh my gosh, it's heavy as hell.
Isn't it?
It's really heavy.
You look like you're auditioning for Spamalot.
*laughs out loud*
*sings* Spamalot! You know what? I want Eric Idle's job. I do. I want his job.
He's fantastic, isn't he?
This is so awesome.
I love that show.
Have you seen it? I've not seen it.
Well see, I know the guy who made this, he's a good buddy of mine who actually wove this stuff. He has an entire full length body suit of chainmail.
Very accomplished.
You know that… You will know this, of course. That we didn't wear real chainmail, cos it was too heavy.
Your chainmail underwear is not with you today? *hands chainmail to Billy*
We couldn't.
Your chainmail underwear is missing?
*Dom hands back the fez* I now present you with a fez.
Thank you.
Someone complained… I would think Orlando Bloom...
Yeah.
Someone complained that it was too heavy, so then they remade it using little plastic ones that didn't weigh anything.
Yeah?
Much easier to wear that all day than that. Can you imagine wearing that all day? Can you? *lifts chainmail like a dumbbell*
Yeah. It wasn't happening. I tell you what, all that...
Running away from Balrogs all day, et cetera?
Yeah it was rough, that one, and we only had little legs because of the drugs we took so we'd shrink down.
*pumps chainmail* Get down.
Orlando could complain here and there, but he looked fantastic in a wig, didn't he?
How gorgeous was he with that blonde hair?
He confused me sexually, because you looked at him and you thought, kind of a pretty girl...
Yeah?
...Sexy, strong…
Yeah.
I'd like him to keep his wig on.
Keep the wig on.
Very closely shaven.
Tight, tight, tight, tight.
Never, ever known to have bad breath, Orlando.
No, no. He's quite hygienic.
His breath is like beautiful little flowers.
Yeah. You could lick his mouth from morning til night.
*giggles squeakily*
You know what?
It's been done.
It's been done. Not by any of us, but it has been done. *laughs*
0:41:32
So you're saying Legolas over Captain Will Turner?
Will Turner?
Will Turner from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh.
I thought Will Turner was great, he was brilliant as Will Turner, but Legolas is Orlando's greatest role and I think it always will be. He's a gangster in those films.
And he would talk to us when we were making the film, and he would say 'Oh, I'm a bit worried, cos you guys are talking all the time, and I don't talk in the scenes'.
And Billy and I were going, 'You are mental. You are the Boba Fett of Lord of the Rings. You don't say anything; all you do is kick arse. D'you know what I mean?
You run to the top of the hill and then kill people with bows and arrows. You're going to be a movie star. And he was.
And you get to surf on his shield, and he gets to surf down an elephant trunk.
Amazing.
He can do anything. When I was visiting…
And what do we do? All we get to do is cry and all that.
I seem to be eating apples constantly in the trilogy. Always eating apples, what is that about? When I watch the film now I'm like, there's another apple, there's
another apple, there's another apple.
Uh-huh.
Why were you so hungry?
I don't know.
It's all that hobbit weed you were smoking.
Yeah. They do love the pipeweed.
That's what is was.
So who's the equivalent of Legolas in The Hobbit Is it Kili and Fili?
Not yet. Not til the second film.
We don't know yet.
Yeah.
The second movie, you'll find out.
Yeah, the jury's out, I think.
Who's ehm, who's ehm.
On first?
Who's ehm.
*laughs and claps*
Are you going to start that?
That was good. That was good, Dom. That was good.
Who's Graham McTavish, in...
Dwalin.
Whoa, he's good.
He plays Dwalin. Yeah, he's great, yeah.
He's good, isn't he?
We met him, didn't we? In London? Scottish guy, he's great.
Can't wait to see him in the second one.
And I though Sylvester McCoy was brilliant.
I do agree with you.
Oh, he's good too.
But he didn't clear up his costume. He's got bird poo on his costume. They could have done something with that, d'you what I mean, just before they went, 'right
Sylvester, we'll take care of that for you'.
It must have been right before they rolled the first scene.
Yeah. Big eagle.
Big shit.
You ask people, who's that guy, that wizard with the bird poo on his face, and that's how they remember him.
Yeah.
They don't remember Radagast's name but they remember the bird guano on his face.
How would you remember that name if you had to?
Radagast. I'd think Gilgamesh, and then I'd get that.
*laughs* How many syllables?
I don't know how my mind works! Gilgamesh, Radagast, done. *fistpump*
I love it. So you guys have seen The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey?
Loved it
I loved it.
You've seen it, a lot of fans were asking in the chatroom what you think of it.
We watched it with Peter Jackson, didn't we?
Yeah, he was there. I loved it.
Yeah.
It was great. We saw it in London, and it was great. It was great to see Pete and...
Lovely.
Yeah. I think they did a great job. I loved it.
It was.
48 frames, what did you think?
48 frames per second. The thing with 48 frames per second, I think is because Pete is one of the most revolutionary, ground-breaking filmmakers out there. He
has to put his name next to 48 frames a second, cos that's the future of film making. And if he doesn't he gets left behind with the technology. You know what I
mean, the great thing that you can rely on with Pete is, he's always gonna bring great set pieces, great costume, great design and ideas, and we got carried away
with it because, when we watch Lord of the Rings… Well, when I watch Lord of the Rings, I'm always thinking 'Oh, that was the day when this happened', or ' That
was the day when I got this zit' or 'that was the day when, you know I left early'. But The Hobbit you can just relax and enjoy it.
Yeah, yeah, was it different for you to say, I'm kind of separated from this and all the work that went into it, I now get to be an audience member?
It was very different, and kind of weird and it made you pang a little bit for New Zealand, and for Middle-Earth, but it also made you happy that you could watch it
as a neutral party. I thought Martin Freeman did a great job, cos the weight of that film—
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's such a big piece, and obviously it's a trilogy, and I thought he played it beautifully.
And it looked, I thought the 48 frames looked amazing. Like Hobbiton looked so beautiful, and at 48 frames it was what? Two and a half hour? So at 24, it's 5
hours long?
*laughs*
I mean, I couldn't watch it for… I mean if was great, but.
If you undo it to actual 24, it becomes twice as long. I never thought of that.
So, I haven't seen it at 5 hours yet.
I think, now if you watched it...second by second. If you... 48 frames a second. If you watched it frame by frame...
Per second?
Per second.
Yeah.
It would be 48 times the amount of seconds that's in the film.
Yeah. Times the first number.
It'd be a slow movie, wouldn't it?
Oh it'd be slow.
That Gandalf guy would be on camera a lot.
He was good, wasn't he? John Gielgud.
John Gielgud.
Brilliant.
I miss Sir John Gielgud. And I miss Sir Ralph Richardson, who played the wizard in Dragonslayer. Remember that?
Oh, yeah, no, he's great.
He was so good.
Was is John Gielgud that played Arthur's butler?
Yes.
Brilliant.
Oh.
That's right, that's right.
When he takes off his helmet and he goes 'You smart little bastard'.
So awesome.And not to be confused but Sir Ralph Richardson also played, not just the wizard in Dragonslayer—and I'm all about movie wizards, I just don't know
why, but I'm into that—but in the movie Time Bandits, he played the Supreme Being.
Oh, nice.
Remember Time Bandits?.
I love Time Bandits!
That was our first experience with Little People in the movies, was Time Bandits.
Yeah yeah.
I grew up in a scheme in Glasgow called Cranhill. And after I saw Time Bandits I used to look around for portals to get me out of my sad life.
Wow. Cool.
*facepalm* He's gone negative again. ASK HIM A FUNNY QUESTION.
0:46:42
Okay, funny question. Are you looking forward to performing live on stage at our upcoming party?
*gasps* WOW.
Cannot wait, and you just gave me an idea.
Gandalf.
I might play some Driveshaft.
Oh yeah.
Why not?
That would be so great!
Kick it in like that.
How cool would that be?
We could do it, I'll have to clear it.
We're really looking forward to that. I love those parties. I loved the one for Return of the King, it was great.
Yeah.
Thank you!
It's going to be great to come back.
How many song are you going to play?
How many do you want me to play?
How many's on the album?
...Twelve?
Ten!
Hmm. What two will I take out?
The bad ones.
Okay.
Two bad ones.
Ten! Ten songs!
Look! People keep screaming, 'Sing!'
Yeah, actually people have been screaming, would you please do uh, double vocal harmony for the song you sang in Return of the King , that's what they want to
hear.
*drapes chainmail over his head* Double harmony?
Yeah.
You look great. It's that...?
Is this how you put this on?
Yeah, perfect. Protective headgear.
It's heavy on your head, that. *takes it off*
Yeah, 'The Edge of Night' is what people are screaming in the chatroom. Billy, don't do it.
No, I won't do it.
No, zee- see the thing is—I stuttered there but try not to make it confusing, I'll do it again... azezez.
*laughs* Thank God this isn't live.
If you can do something well, that you get paid for, don't do it for free.
Is that what you're saying?
If you're a carpenter, and you make a fantastic dovetail joint, don't cheapen yourself by just making dovetail joints for everybody.
You got that from The Dark Knight.
Is that right? Is that what it says in The Dark Knight?
The Joker says that, if you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Nice. There you go.
You remind me of the Joker a lot.
Why?
Just your beautiful smiling face.
Hard to trust?
*laughs*
I do smile a lot and I'm very, very hard to trust.
He is.
And I'll burn huge piles of money, nightly.
*laughs*
*shrugs* Don't bother me. Can't take it with you.
That's so funny. Well, real quick, while we're talking on the subject of The One Expected Party, do we have the video clip? Oh good, I'll bring it up.
Let's have a look.
What is it?
We have a little video that we made, with our friend Justin, he made it actually, and is an exciting preview of that 2004 Return of the King party.
God, 2004.
And we're just trying to drum up interest to get fans to get excited to come to the upcoming party.
It's going to be amazing.
The Hobbit has been nominated for Best Hair and Makeup—probably because of Jed Brophy's wig, singularly because of Jed Brophy's wig, okay. Then a
nomination for Best Visual Effects, here's to Team Weta and Richard Taylor.
Oh yeah. *fistpump*
Well done, Weta. Fantastic.
Oh my God, Gollum and the Riddle Game?
Oh, fantastic.
Blew us all away. And the third nomination for Best Art Direction, which is now called Production Design. They changed it, but it's still Art Direction.
When we were in the screening in London, when that Gollum scene started, the audience gave a round of applause. And it's so interesting, cos his a slightly
villainous character, but he's a real fan favourite.
I took a bunch of virgins with me.
Hello.
And they were all dressed in white, believe me. I took a bunch of film virgins with me, and they had never seen Lord of the Rings, never read The Hobbit, never
exposed to Tolkien. I took them all to see the IMAX, giant, 3D version of The Hobbit, and they all said the same thing, 'Who was that Gollum creature? That as so
riveting! That was so fascinating'. People are immediately caught up between this relationship between Bilbo and Frodo, and they don't even know who Gollum is
at this point… Oh lord.
*has put on the chainmail hood properly*
Alright, Sir Arthur?
Alright, it's time to sing Spamalot. Your turn now.
You look great.
I feel great.
*pats Billy on the head* Is that protective?
I can't feel it.
Brilliant.
This is the hobbit's version of safe sex. One more time. Safe sex right here on our show, ladies and gentlemen.
Keep it clean.
Keep it very clean.
You're right though, Gollum was amazing.
Pippin goes to war, someone just wrote. Yeah I think it's the duality.
Here's something about Pimpin. Pimpin. *laughs*
Pimpin! Big time Pimp. Merry and Pimpin.
Pimpin going to war. I don't know if you ever saw this, but when I get to Gondor, and become the Steward. Not the Steward...
Yeah, you're wearing Faramir's little Boy Scout clothes.
Yeah, well, I had a helmet, right, and it you look at Lord of the RIngs it describes what it's like, and it said it had two wins coming out the sides. Did you ever see
that?
Oh yeah, you nixed it, didn't you?
And they got me a helmet. They made it, and it was an amazing looking thing, you know. But when I put it on, it had black wings that came out the side like this.
And I thought it was alright, and I was like, 'Really? This is what I'm wearing? And they were all like...
He looked like a griffin had used his head for a nest. You know, it was ludicrous.
And I thought, 'I can't wear this, surely?' But they end up, they took the wings off and they put wings kind of ON the helmet.
And they sucked your brain up into like a pinpoint .
In a cone, so my brain was taken up the way, which led to enlightenment.
*laughs* I had terrible problems with my helmet as well because my helmet came down my nose.
That's right, yeah! *guffaws*
And if there's any Lord of the Rings fans out there, you'll notice, my nose isn't perfectly straight, and I don't have a problem with that, but that meant that the helmet
sat like this *hold finger crooked down his nose* And I didn't look like a warrior, I looked like a bloody idiot.
*laughs*
So we had to nix that as well.
*laughs*
0:52:05
How many people? 21,000. Come on, there should be more people than that at this point.
Well, well right now, we have about 13,000—excuse me 1,300 live, total aggregate 21,000. That's pretty good!
That's pretty good.
For only like 45 minutes, you know.
What does 'aggregate' mean?
Aggregate?
Yeah.
I think it's a, it's like when steam comes off the road, that's the aggregate.
Is it?
Yeah.
Mmm.
Here we go guys, we have a preview clip for our upcoming Oscar party. It's this coming… February 24th, on Sunday.
It's gonna be incredible fun.
The performers on stage include this guy...
*waves*
...and the wonderful band Beecake. We have, um, we have Emerald Rose coming to play Celtic classics. We saw Emerald Rose in uh, DragonCon, they're great.
Really great.
Yeah, really good.
And then, I hosting, I'm gonna be your Emcee, we're gonna celebrate all the nominees for Peter Jackson's cast and crew for the The Hobbit, and check this out,
we've got the video ready, guys?
Let's have a look.
Here we go.
0:54:05
Very cool.
Yeah, and now were back. So we bumped into Ian McKellen at San Diego ComicCon and he he said, "I hear you're having a party, One Ring". And he doesn't
really talk like that, but you know.
I hope he goes.
Yeah, me too. Viggo!
I hope he goes. I hope Viggo goes.
Yeah, he'll be there.
Yeah, I like Viggo.
I hope Ian goes. He's quite fun at a party.
Yeah, he is.
There are tickets still available guys, you can click online, find the party on TheOneRing.net main page, and uh, everybody's gonna be there, it's gonna be really
fun. It is Sunday the 24th. It's an Oscar party with not one, but two huge buffets, early dinner, second dinner, open bar, all you can drink, and…
Open bar!
Open bar!?
Watch out for these guys with open bar, okay, totally watch out.
Oh, you don't want to give Billy an open bar.
No, that's madness.
I'm gonna end up making you do the dishes, both of you, if you do that thing again. Yeah.
I remember that. Remember? We had to do the dishes in that film.
Yeah, yeah. And the plates were massive, weren't they?
Yeah! And the tables were weird cos it was that forced perspective
Mmm. Good, those films.
Yeah, they were good.
I watch The Fellowship of the Ring the other night, only the first hour, right up to the point where the Balrog makes and appearance, just to see what it was like.
And like I said, all I could see was me eating apples.
Really?
Another apple. Another scene with an apple, Dom, what is that about?
I wanted to see you eat that floating turkey that you grabbed out of Isengard.
Ugh.
That was a laugh, that, wasn't it?
That float turkey? I really want to see you eat that.
We had a laugh that day, couple of days worth it was.
How much was a reshoot, as opposed to the primary shoot? How much in the movie did you have to go back, after primary?
Like six weeks, something like that, reshoots?
I think more than that.
Was it?
Yeah.
I was on so many drugs at that point, I have no idea, just...
No idea.
Life had become a kind of technicolor dream, you know?
Like it was in the documentary.
Yeah.
It was in the documentary.
Yeah, pretty much.
Um.
It made you like apples, all those drugs.
Yeah, yeah they did. Don't do drugs. Drug are for mugs.
And for Charlie.
*hefts chainmail*.
Drugs are never the answer. Unless you're diabetic and then, you know, insulin.
You need them.
No drugs or you'll die in the third season, so don't do that.
Yeah, yep, you don't wanna do that.
You don't. Guys, I'm on fire, I brought my A game today, seriously, come on. I want to ask you guys, about um, what are we going to expect, in the first season of
Wild Things and where are some of the countries and these exotic places we're gonna go?
I'll tell you, cos I memorized the countries.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
Ecuador, Venezuela, Guatemala, Camaroon, Namibia, Laos, Malaysia, Vietnam. Saigon!
Wow!
Yeah.
Wow!
Yeah. So you'll see me, looking for um, probably the more dangerous version of whatever animal I'm looking for: The most dangerous ant, the most dangerous
scorpion, the most dangerous spider. And it's me saying, even though these animals are dangerous, I can have a situation with them, or an experience with them
that is enjoyable and profound, and that nature is an incredible honing tool. So if there's an animal existing nowadays on planet earth, it's there for a really, really
good reason.
Yeah.
So they're important, they're important species.
What episode is it tonight?
Tonight is the Giant Water Bug, which is probably the most dangerous aquatic insect. And they live in Laos, and I go looking for them in a lake that they share with
about 125 crocodiles.
A lake with a 125 crocodiles and a sunken boat with four clowns in it.
Yes. Bringing it back.
Mmhmm. Same lake.
Yeah.
Same camera.
It's a lot of fun, and it's basically the way that I travel, which is a very natural way for the viewer to watch the show. You know there's not a lot of set up, you kind of
see me on the fly, and I'm like, "hey, how are you, good morning, okay, let's go" like, we don't prepare it too much. Its all kind of guerrilla filmmaking. And like I
said, I really want to bring Billy with me on one of the, coz his knowledge, in terms of cows, horses and pigs is second to none.
*laughs*
I don't know where he's got his farmyard knowledge.
It's amazing.
It's brilliant.
Yeah. I can move pigs with my mind.
Really?
Yeah, if there was like three pigs in your way, I could move 'em.
That's amazing. The pig whisperer.
*laughs* That's funny.
How did the show come to you? I mean was this like someone said "oh you were good in that one movie—show, of that island thing.
Yeah, do you, did you naturally say to yourself, "I want to do a travelogue show" or "I want to bring my love of critters"?
When Steve Irwin died, I was pretty shaken by it, I never got to meet the amazing man, and I was touched, by the fact that he had died and moved by it. And I've
always want to make a nature show, you know, I've talked to Billy about it years back. And I just used that as the impetus to go, "right, if this isn't the right reason
why I formulate a nature show, what is?" and what does that say about how I feel about Steve Irwin, so I thought of an idea, and then I sat down with a producer.
He and I kind of batted out a kind of five act piece, which is where I go to Ecuador to find the world's most dangerous ant. And then we sold it to BBCAmerica and
Channel 5 and OLN and within about a month and a half, I was going to Ecuador to make the first episode.
Fantastic.
I think what people have to know is that, you know, this has been an interest of Dom's, you know, forever. This isn't like a, "oh, I'll do something, it's just something
I'll do"—
This isn't a new idea, you've been gestating this for—
I'm always into animals, you know, I'm always looking at stuff and turning over rocks and I do like it.
Wikipedia is telling is all these wild stories about all these exotic animals you have at home.
Yeah.
Pets.
Yeah. I have a small, kind of menagerie right now, because I'm traveling so much, but I have a snake, two spiders, and a chameleon. And over the years I've had,
you know, a praying mantis, and centipedes, and bees and wasps and ants and slugs and snails and lizards and stuff. Right now its a little smaller than its been.
I've got a dog. And over the years I've had another dog.
Right.
Yeah.So you've had two.
Yeah I've had two dogs.
And a baby.
And a baby.
Congratulations.
Yes, Thank you very much.
He's more than a baby. Can we just run through a few of your dog's health requirements?
Oh, my dog! My dog!
The most expensive dog in the world.
Yeah, every couple of months I have to take him in and get and MRI, or something. He's got one eye. He's got a hernia. He's got a dislocated back leg. He's got a
bent tail.
Yeah, his tail's broke.
Called a Labrador tail, but he's not a Labrador. And he's deaf.
What?
He's deaf.
Really.
So. Yeah. Lucky's his name.
*laughs* I feel like I set him up for that, but I didn't.
*laughs*
*laughs*That's funny. That's very very very funny. His name is Lucky, right, yeah [chat id] in the chat room says "his name is Lucky." Right, Yeah, That's great.
As it really is Griffin.
Yeah.
Griffin.
Anyway, that's not funny, it's just true.
That's one of Billy's favourite pubs in Glasgow, the Griffin.
The Griffin?
Yeah.
There's a nice Griffin pub here in LA. We'll take you to it, if you're down.
I'd love that.
Love that.
Yeah, the interior of it looks like a castle, with brick, and you know, it's kind of and interesting look.
I like the Cat and Fiddle, just down the road on Sunset.
Oh I love that, love the Cat and Fiddle.
The Cat and Fiddle serves Boddington's Beer…
Nice!
Guinness, you can get a Scotch egg, you can a full English breakfast.
Old Speckled Hen?
Old Speckle Hen.
Love it.
Very tasty.
Yeah.
Cottage pie. It's good.
Didn't we do something there a couple weeks ago?
Actually, for January 3rd, we were there for Tolkien's birthday.
Oh nice!
And the whole group of the Tolkien Forever Society went to have a toast.We do it every January 3rd, and we just have a nice big dinner, and some of the older
fans from the 60's, who were the very first to read and absorb Tolkien and make it a cultural statement in the American counterculture, as you remember from
narrating Ringers, yeah. We had this toast, it was very simple, to the professor.
Click.
To his birthday.
Every year you celebrate his birthday?
Every year we do it, just a fan gathering. And we take the movies out of the equation, we take the video games and all the other merchandise, and bring it right
back to our love of the books.
He must be getting on a bit now, mustn't he, Tolkien? Do you invite him? Has he been to any of them?
No. Sorry. Too bad.
Click.
Royd's been there.
Oh, that's good.
Oh, he's a character. I love Royd.
He did the show a few months ago.
Absolutely. And he was in the Air New Zealand safety video that we did.
Oh, yeah, that was great with all the characters.
I haven't seen that!
Oh, you haven't seen it yet?
No!
Oh, well, I'm in it!
Bring it up!
Oh, well, hey. I'm actually the wizard wearing high tops. I'm wearing my Chuck Taylor's in that video.
Saucy.
How long is it?
It's only like a couple of minutes. It is too funny.
*holds chainmail at arm's length* I'm going to see if I can hold this up at arm's length for the whole length of the video.
Is it heavy?
Here we go, let's search for Air… New… Zealand Safety video..
I'm the world's strongest man. I might let out a wee fart.
*laughs* Well done!
BRING IT ON.
*gropes Billy's bicep with both hands* May I say! Oh! He's dipping! Get it up.
I was only joking, it's not that heavy. *drops it in his lap*
Oh really? Don't out it there, though!
1:03:14
So was it easy to sell the show? Were you nervous going in to this private…
Yeah, its not super easy to shella—shell a sow?
*laughs* Good one!
Tell sell a show, and I think that, um—
*giggles*
I think the broadcasters were a little nervous that I was, you know I was an actor going "Hey, I want to do an animal show," and they were like, "What gives you the
right to do an animal show?" So, I had to convinced them that I knew a little bit about animals, which I did from talking about animals, and then...I don't know. I'm
not very—
It's an amazing show!
I'm not good at taking 'no' for an answer
Have you seen it? *gestures*
*Dom slaps Billy's hand*
No, I was point to him, I didn't want a five.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah, well, I saw the preview. I haven't seen a full episode I just saw the American preview.
It's amazing!
It's on tonight!
It's a brilliant show!
Guys, it's on tonight! BBCAmerica.
9/10central!
9/10central! If you've got DirectTV that's channel two, six, four, coz I've got DirectTV. You can watch the first episode online, BBCAmerica.com, or if you're in
Canada, OLN.ca. Brilliant. All of this is in my mind!
That's amazing.
It's all just come out my mind!
How do you remember Radagast?
Gilgamesh!
*laughs*
BANG!
How does TV stardom compare to film stardom? Obviously you've had a successful show and a successful movie. Are there any differences?
I think being in someone's living room weekly is, uh, an interesting thing because… There's two different schools of thought: Lord of the Rings was such an event
piece and you go with your parents and the lights come down and you eat popcorn and it's a special moment, and I think that had a real weight to it. And then,
when you're on TV on a weekly basis, it's much more intimate. You're in their bedroom, maybe they use you to, you know, wind down at the end of the day or they
bring their friends round. So it think, the intensity of people recognizing you is crazy when you're on TV, and especially American TV.
Oh gosh, yes.
More on TV?
Yeah, maybe. You know, like someone like Viggo. He's such a kind of mystery, that when I'm with him, I get embarrassed because Viggo's such an amazing guy,
but not that many people recognize him as Viggo. Whereas the Charlie character that I played in LOST, people are always like chatting to me about it, and that's
cos, I think Viggo keeps that old school movie star kind of veneer about him, you know.
You have crossed into many different spheres of genre storytelling. You have crossed into fantasy, you're in the world of JJ Abrams, so you've gone… I mean
there's only a short list of genre storytellers, and there's Joss Whedon, Peter Jackson, JJ Abrams, its a very short list, Tim Burton, and these are masters of the
Fantasique and the genre storytelling.
That's French for fantastic.
Indeed, incroyablé. I just want to ask you, what's it like working on X-Men, and LOST, and Rings, and to have your fingers in so many genre projects.
I grew up on that kind of stuff, you know, I grew up on Star Wars, I grew up on Indiana Jones, I grew up on The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth and The Goonies and
stuff...
OH *claps. Thirtieth Anniversary of The Dark Crystal
Is it really?
Just a few weeks ago, yeah.
Congratulations. Amazing artwork.
The best.
Amazing artwork. I wanted, uh, JJ to meet Billy to play Scotty in Star Trek. I think Simon Pegg is brilliant as Scotty, but Billy would have been such a good Scotty.
Yeah!
And I said, "I think you should meet him," and JJ said, "I'm far too intimidated by Billy.
*lifts chainmail again* Because of this. I always used to wear this at the time.
*laughs*
Probably a bad choice.
Yeah. Well, I lost a few jobs.
There's no armor in space.
I saved my head, though.
*laughs*
This suit that I'm… well, not this suit. These trousers that I'm wearing, I bought in New Zealand with Billy.
Did you really?
Yeah, these are my Thailand pants.
Oh, how lovely.
They're absolute crackers!
Thank you. *points to crotch* They've got a stain here, forget about it.
I like the jacket as well.
*drinking water* Mmm?
I did mention I thought you looked very handsome today.
You did. This is my tribute to David Beckham's haircut right now.
I love it.
Do you?
I think you should keep it more like that.
I like your hair.
Thanks.
The shorter your hair gets...
...the sexier my legs get.
Yeah…. The longer your toes become.
Thats weird, isn't it?
I've got to buy you new shoes.
Oh my gosh, you guys are… You guys are too funny.
[chat id] agrees, you do look handsome, she said.
You do!
Is that to me, or to you, or both?
*inhales* You smell good!
What are you smelling!?
What is that!?
I just rubbed myself with some liniment.
It's lovely!
I've got a muscle strain here.
It's lovely. I hurts your eyes, though.
Everyone's talking about a Viggo kiss. What is this Viggo kiss they're talking about?
Billy?
Billy?
Viggo kissed me, once, right on my face.
NO!
He stuck his tongue in my mouth and he grabbed my arse.
He's a saucy fellow!
He's a dirty wench.
He doesn't mind about crossing over to the other side, you know.
He's crazy!
Tell them the... tell them the full story—it's dirty.
Alright then.
Strap yourself in.
Sean Astin was doing the scene where he gets married at the end, to Rosie. And it was just Sean and Rosie and a couple of people. And Viggo happened to stroll
into the soundstage where they were doing it, and he felt, oh there's not an excitement, there's no like, this should be a really beautiful moment, and it's not
because it was just a small soundstage and...So he went and rattled the door to my trailer—and Dom was probably off in Rohan on a horse or something—and he
rattle, and I was asleep, and he was like "Come on! We've got to help Sean. So we ran in. So when he, when he got married and had to kiss Rosie, we were all
like "Yay!" *claps* behind the camera so when he was looking at least he had some faces that he knew. *claps* But Viggo still felt that Sean still wasn't getting the
excitement so in one of the takes, Viggo grabs my head—*grabs Dom's head*
Don't do it!
He pulled me close *pulls Dom close* and he KISSED me, Dom!*releases him*
*swoons, clutching heart*
And he kissed me hard. Which meant that Sean was like "Ah!" and you know, that take was used because it was the happiness and that kind of shock in his eyes,
as you would get if you were married.
Yeah!
And erm. So it was worthwhile, coz it was great for the movie. And it was worthwhile, coz it made me fall in love with Viggo.
Yeah, you did, didn't you?
Yeah I did. For a few days.
That is method acting.
1:09:15
Oh, low battery. 10% of the battery remaining.
There is but 10% of this interview because of the battery.
And then, in the next few coming months, when anything shocking need to occur, him and Viggo were on set getting naked, rubbing on each other, grabbing each
other's stuff.
A little bromance.
I want to tell you one of my favourite stories, when we were filming Fellowship of the Ring. The sequence where, uh, Merry and Pippin come across Frodo and
Sam in Farmer Maggot's field, and then they run and they fall down the hill. When they fall down the hill and eventually land, which is A Shortcut to Mushrooms, I
think that, I think—
*laughs loud*
the order was like Billy, Sean, Me, Elijah? Something like that?
Like, yeah.
Elijah was definitely last, and as Elijah hit the ground on top of us with a significant amount of force, he let out a noxious gas.
*gasp*
He did! And it was loud!
It was very loud! We all continued on in the scene, but it was loud, and —
We didn't know each other that well and so we thought, well this is—
And he's a big movie star so—
I mean, this is the guy from Flipper, so.
Yeah, don't mess with him. So we just let it go and then when the take went, we had him confirm that it was, indeed, a trumpet trouser, and he said, 'yeah,' and it
was weird, it smelt of egg nog.
Really?
And we know for a fact he hadn't drank any egg nog that day.
And it wasn't Christmas, it was like April.
Yeah yeah, wasn't it? But LOUD. LOUD, as if you know he'd really got himself ready for it.
That's uh...
PFFFFFFFFT.
Wow.
Pffft.
Like that.
A real voluminous poot.
PFFFFFFFFT.
And I looked at Billy, and his eyes were watering a little bit, and I thought he's feeling it in the eyes.
And you remember in the film I go, 'Mushrooms!', but that's cos I thought I smelt something.
*laughs*
Well your face was like two inches away from... or it was Sam's face which was next to a dogpile.
Yeah
Remember that?
Yeah.
That was my idea.
*laughs*
And that noise—
PFFFFFFFFFFT.
Just like that. And that noise that the Nazgul makes—
PFFFFFFFFFFT.
It was like that, wasn't it? And that noise that the Nazgul makes is actually in regards to Elijah's fart, when they go RAAAAAAAAH. That is.
PFFFFFFFFFFT.
It's because Elijah's just done that.
It's that backwards.
*laughs*
*laughs*
PFFFFFFFFFFT.
It translates if you speed it up to RAAAAAAAH. Which is Fran Walsh, Peter Jackson's wife, screaming.
It's crazy.
She was all the way back at Stone Street Studios screaming, cos she heard the fart from that far away.
Yeah. And they'd recently got a quite a high tax demand.
*laughs*
*laughs*
*mimes paper* Oh Pete, look at, RAAAAAAAAAAH.
PFFFFFFFFFFT.
*claps* fantastic. You guys are awesome. This is one of the best shows we've had in a very, very long time—
ONE OF…? ONE OF THE BEST? ONE OF…?
ONE OF…?
What is better? Did you have Gandalf in here?
Not yet. Not yet. It's the best.
Let's make it the best. Let's drop this *picks up chainmail* from a height onto my dinkle.
Alright. *raises chainmail over Billy's crotch* Tense yourself! *DROPS*
AH.
It's like an episode of Mythbusters.
It was great, wasn't it?
Look, everyone's saying 'The best, the best, the best'.
The best, the best, the best.
Absolutely the best.
Right, thank you.
Definitely the best.
Any plans for Beecake to tour?
We're coming to play your party!
Besides that, an American tour.
That is all we're thinking about right now, is making sure The One Ring Party, on the Oscar night, 24th of February, IS GOING TO BE THE GREATEST NIGHT
THAT THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!
...good.
*laughs*
You went a bit too over the top there.
PFFFFFFFFFFT!
*laughs*
*laughs*
Leave them wanting more, not less. They want less of you now!
*guffaws*
They want you to get out! Leave them wanting less, doesn't work as well.
1:12:55
Do you have your phone with you?
Yeah!
Let's follow someone on Twitter!
Yeah, come on!
Right! I'll follow someone. Who do yo want me to follow?
Who wants to get followed?
I'll follow someone.
Well… everyone obviously, not everyone, but a lot of people on there want to get followed. Give us a good reason to follow you. Or for Billy to follow you.
You'll need to follow us first, we're on @OfficialBeecake.
And I'm on @DomsWildThings.
That's right, guys. @DomsWildThings, or @OfficialBeecake. Follow these guys on their Twitter account.
We might ask them a question. We should ask them a question.
Where did the name Beecake come from?
That's a good story.
Gosh. I don't know whats going on, but my phone is going off the hook. My mom is calling me, my ex is calling me.
Well, have a look, have a look.
Well, I mean, Mom—
Your ex is calling? Well forget her!
Forget that.
Forget her, she was a—
Him.
—cruel witch.
*laughs*
Um. Should we ask them a question, that maybe people might not know. And we'll see who gets the right...a Lord of the Rings question maybe?
Yeah!
So what would that be? Something 'you' oriented.
Oh god.
Something that you'd have to have watch all the extended edition, behind the scenes, something deep.
Yeah. You'd need to.
Something difficult.
Something difficult.
*stretches* Soooooomethiiiiiing from—
&9835;Something pretty, something pretty.&9835;
Oh god, we've got to think of a good question.
The first fan who can name the first track on your first Beecake album.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
That's good, do you know it?
I do know that, yeah.
Who's the first fan who can name the first song on the previous Beecake album—not Blue Sky Paradise.
Not Blue Sky Paradise, Soul Swimming is the first album. What is the first track? And I will follow you on your Twitterlytweet.
TWITTERLYTOODLES.
Who's got it?
Someone just mentioned—
'This Is Not An Exit?'
'This Is Not An Exit'?
Nope!
Nope!
No.
'Please Stay' Nope!
Nope!
Nope!
'I Love This Song'? Not a song. 'I have the unnamed one'. That doesn't work.
'A Ball of Earth?'
Yes! Ball of Earth, Ball of Earth.
'You got it, 'A Ball of Earth', that's you, it's [chat id].
'[chat id] What's your Twitter handle? Twitterize us.
[chat id], you win.
I'm going to follow you!
[chat id] What's your Twitter name?
Okay, lemma see, [chat id], you win.
I hope it's not something dirty, like @SmellMyTrousers.
*laughs*
What's your Twitter, Billy's gonna follow you.
*bedroom voice* I'll follow you.
Someone said their favourite movie of you was Still Game.
Oh, Still Game.
Oh, that was a TV show.
Oh, a TV show?
Yeah.
What's the answer? Nice work [chat id].
I'd a big beard.
A beard?
Yeah, on my chin!
You're funny in that. It's a… Is that the old man thing?
No...Well I was a sort of... I was sort of a bum.
They're old men.
Yeah, they're old men.
It's a story of Scottish old men, it's worth checking out.
It's funny.
*reading from the chat* 'How about a question from Dom?'
What?
Billy Connolly in The Hobbit. What do you think?
Brilliant. Billy Connolly in anything.
Was he in The Hobbit?
Not yet. He will be, though.
Dain Ironfoot.
*Billy Connolly Impression* Ooooh! Gandalf, I dunnae where ahm goin'. *flips hair back*
*points at Dom* He's good, isn't he?
*laughs* That's him! Thats HIM! That's funny.
*flips hair* Gawd, tha hills are so green arun here!
*laughs* That's brilliant! Thats very good! Say 'jobbie'.
*flips hair* A wee jobbie!
*cackles*
*flips hair* Oh the clouds are so swell arun here!
*laughs*
I love him. Billy Connolly's the man. I didn't know he was in the The Hobbit!
He did the Route 66 Show. Did you see that?
Yeah, and his show around Australia… Brilliant.
He rode his motorcycle all the way down Route 66. Was it a BBC show or…?
Oh, brilliant. Yeah, brilliant.
I'm not sure.
He has a real passion for life. He said that one of the things that changed his life forever… He was walking on a beach, in Ayre, in Scotland, and a mynah bird
flew, landed on his shoulder and turned to him and said, 'hello!'
*laughs*
And he said that changed his life!
Wow, that's brilliant. Yeah, he's a true original, isn't he? What a man. Good actor as well.
Love it. Yeah, very good.
*finally reads Twitter address to Billy*
Wait a minute!
Guys, this has been a good live forum.
This has been a great live forum. Really really really really excellent.
Would you guys... what new trilogy or big new movie...Would you do Star Wars?
Oh, absolutely! Are you crazy?
Would you do The Avengers, Justice League?
I would definitely—
Ewan McGregor said he wants to come back for Star Wars.
Cool.
It's an amazing piece of movie history, Star Wars, you know, I'd love to do Star Wars.
[Twitter name] I have now followed.
Brilliant.
Oh, very good.
And if she's pleasant and kind—
And we virtually follow no one. I follow @DomsWildThings, its on today.
@DomsWildThings. @OfficialBeecake, which your handle on Twitter?
@Quickbeam2000
@Quickbeam2000. There's 2000 of you?
I don't follow you, I should follow you.
Please do. That way we can Direct Message.
I wanted to be in The Matrix Trilogy, didn't get that.
Did you go out for it?
Nah. Rubbish agent. I fired him. He must have died, actually.
I need to play a superhero soon, because my son's 6, and he only likes superheroes.
SCOTMAN.
Scotman!
*wheezes* Scotman. Fighting for Scottish Independence!
Right? That be great! *flips hair* Oh, et's great arun here!
*flips hair* Oh my gawd! And people come and you throw potato pancakes at them... pew, pew, pew!
Oh, take that!
*mimes kilt lift* Look at my kilt!
Look at that! We don't wear nothing!
*mimes kilt lift* Look at my kilt!
I love to feel a bit of breeze in me privates!
You could be that! He'd get Scotman and I wouldn't.
He'd be the villain in it. We went to, um—
I'd be?
You.
Me, the villain. *laughs*
You. *points to Billy and then Cliff* You'd be Scotman and you'd be the villain. We went to, what was that—
Who would I be? I'd be… the villain would be UK Man.
Yeah, UK Man. Wearing a Paul Smith suit. What was that Scottish thing we went to in New Zealand where we all wore kilts? It was at a stadium, was it Scotland
vs New Zealand?
Oh, it was brilliant. It was, no, they brought the thing, they brought the Edinborough Tattoo.
*mimes drums*
And you remember, we said we've got to bring something Scottish, so like Dom wore a kilt, and Elijah wore a kilt and a Scotland top or something, and Viggo
arrived with like a little, one of those little...
Troll?
A little troll doll.
A little troll.
Yeah, he was like HAAAAAAY.
Those freaky troll dolls?
And we're like, I don't know if that's Scottish or not.
Yeah, it smells like red felt tips, you know the smell of red felt tips? If you smell a troll you're like *sniff* 'red felt tips'.
Here's what I remembered about that night, you might not remember this. When we came home from it, and we'd a great night—whoa, it's all very Scottish and all
that—and we were going past a kid's playground.
I do remember. *shakes head*
And I said, 'I'm going down that slide'. I was having such a great night. 'I'm going down that slide'. I went down the slide, my kilt went up and I burnt my arse!
Yeah. NOT THE HOLE, NOT THE HOLE.
Oh my.
THE CHEEK.
Just the cheek.
*facepalm*
Because my kilt rolled up, and then skin on metal, YEEEEEEEAAH!
Oh that's awful. And Elijah and I just stood in the wings having a conversation and we looked at you at that moment, and we saw your dingaling.
Did you?
Yeah. Brilliant. Albino!
With a scottish flag on it.
Yeah.
*guffaws and claps*
He went the whole hog. And we were all at Billy's house getting changed, and we said 'What is the deal, what do we do with the kilt thing?' and he said 'Well, I'll
make sure that it's alright, but you can't wear anything underneath.'
No, no soft pink panties.
No.
Nothing like that.
No soft pink panties?
No.
None of those things they use in the industry to cover your twig and berries.
A muppet? *laughs*
Yeah. *laughs*
*laughs*
It's not a muppet, is it?
Yeah, a little mini Tickle-Me-Elmo. TICKLE ELMO. BWEE.
*laughs* You ever worn a kilt?
Never! Me?
You should!
I should!
Get empowered.
You haven't got a kilt?
No, I would love to wear a kilt! I mean, if you go back far enough in my family tree, there's some Scotsmen in there, but… A kilt?! Wow!
I'll bring you a kilt! I'll bring you a kilt from Scotland, d'you want a kilt?
I would love one! Really?
You need to give me your waist, and your inside leg—
*looks scandalized*
—and I'll get you a kilt. I'll bring it to The One Ring Party, on the 24th of February.
And I will wear it.
Have you got a tape measure? You could do it now.
And I will do like Orlando Bloom and go commando.
Totally.
You've got to.
Cos, you have a little idiosyncrasy about the way that you dress, a little character. I think you'd look good in a kilt.
Well, I'm down.
I've got that t-shirt. You gave me that t-shirt.
This 'Obey' t-shirt?
I love it. You should get that t-shirt its a great t-shirt.
Oh, I want that. Is that still available?
Oh yeah. Sure. This is funny.
I've got one—how about this, right—its from Threadless, which is a great t-shirt company.
I love Threadless, yeah.
They have the London Underground Tube map, but they've taken out all the names of the Underground places, and it's places in Middle-Earth.
Middle-Earth, I love it, I love it, thats frickin great.
Oh that's cool.
It is a Tube map, yeah. Mind the gap.
Mind th1:21:30 Stack of t-shirts thrown into shot.
WHOA! Now is there a small in here? Cos I am desperately small.
I want a medium.
LARGE.
He doesn't want a large. There's your Radagast shirt.
MEDIUM.
Nice, what's this? I'll shrink it. Large. I'll shrink it.
Oh, that's the large. Come on, get him a small or a medium, would ya?
I'll have a small for you at the Party.
Yeah, alright. We'll just.
What did you get? Did you get a medium?
This is a Radagast medium. I love getting free gifts.
I got a Radagast medium?
Look, this is a spoof of UPS. See?
'What can Brown do for you?'.
Which is the slogan for… I love it.
See? Do you remember Radagast?
He's the guy with the poo on him.
No, how do you remember him?
Oh, Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh!
Now wait a minute. Now, this wonderful X-Men character you played—
Yeah.
*holds out chainmail at arm's length again*
—died way too soon.
He did, didn't he.
Why is it you couldn't be in more X-Men movies? And which X-Man would you be if you had the chance to be in one?
Strong Arm Guy.
Just one arm.
One arm, I can hold things out. Rawr. If a baddie came, I'd just hold him out at length, at arm's length.
It weighs about 17 pounds.
It's heavy.
You're freakishly strong.
I work out. *flexes*
You know, I think the reason why he died so soon, is because that's the way the script was written.
You were great it that. I liked that.
Oh wonderful.
You were like…*touches temple*
There as a cadence, a real cadence.
I liked it.
You know, if Magneto can have mastery over magnetism, we haven't seen, in the film versions a mutant who can manage electricity. You can do that. It was so
frickin' cool. Why did you have to die that soon?
I dunno, I think obviously in Wolverine they have to tell a lot of stories, and the major story, the main story was the story of Wolverine so they needed to get rid of
some of the extraneous characters so that Hugh Jackman could come in. And can I just say, Hugh Jackman is probably the largest male I have ever seen in the
flesh.
Really.
Oh my god, he's like...Ryan Reynolds is a big guy, you know, he's a big boy, and Hugh Jackman made him look kind of normal.
Really?
And before we would do a take, he'd be doing, um… press-ups. Just pounding press-ups, and he's stand up. And I stood next to him at one point when he stood
up, and he had this vein that came out from the side of his shoulder and went down, like that, and I was like, 'WHAT IS THAT? How do you make THAT happen?'
It was huge, and the way that he did it… I said 'What's your work out technique?' and he said "I go to the gym once a day, and I do stuff in between. But he would
wake up at 5 in the morning, EAT A WHOLE CHICKEN.
A whole chicken, I say!
Isn't that insane? And then he would go back to sleep until 7, then he would eat every couple of hours, poached chicken and vegetables.
How tall is he? I thought he was just a little musical theater munchkin.
No, he's like 6'2", 6'3".
Really? Hugh Jackman?
Yeah.
Huge Jackman.
Huge Ackman. And what a professional. Like we finished one day, and he jumped on plane, flew to LA to rehearse for his presenting the Oscars, flew back and
was on set Monday, and didn't say anything about it. And he was obviously jetlagged and had a rough weekend, he's working the weekend, but what a
professional. Lovely man.
Very good. Very good.
Yeah.
And up for Best Actor for Les Mis.
Oh yeah. &9835;I dreamed a dreamy dreamy dream!&9835;
*clutches his arm*
&9835;And it that dream I dreamed a dreamy!&9835;
That was touching, that!
That wasn't Hugh Jackman. Anne Hathaway.
That was quite good.
SHE IS A SHOO-IN for an Oscar.
Oh, she'll get an Oscar for that.
Absolute shoo-in.
Yeah. Shaved her head and everything.
Yeah. She did. She had a hell of a day. She had to pull out her teeth.
Ugh.
She had to have sex with someone she didn't want to have sex with.
Yeesh.
She was in a coffin.
Augh! What a day.
She thought her daughter was dead. Dead?
Right?
No! She sold her daughter! No the daughter worked for Borat, didn't she?
Did she?
Borat. Borat and Tim Burton's wife.
Oh, god.
Oh yeah yeah.
And she says 'I thought my life would be different from this'. Well, you WOULD think your life would be different from that, wouldn't you?
Different from shit.
Yeah!
Yeah!
She thought it'd be a bit better than this.
I mean I at least thought I'd have my own teeth at 23.
*laughs*
Christ, I grew my hair right down my back, and it's gone!
And I like how she came back later on, the haircut was still short, but she'd obviously been to Vidal Sassoon in Heaven. They'd cut off some of the patches, she
looked quite sexy.
And she's also going commando, stepping out of a limousine and everybody's seeing her hoo-haa.
Oh yeah. Yeah. *whistles*
Yeah. Little miss The Devil Wears Prada.
When was this?
Okay, she gets out of a car at the premiere of Les Mis, I think it was New York City, I think, and she gets out of the limo and all the paparazzi's get great
photographs of… everything.
No.
Like she was wearing a kilt.
Do you know what?
The devil wears nothing.
Yeah.
Paparazzi's did that to me a couple of times, when I was getting out, wearing a kilt, and they've got the cameras like that. I mean, that's not right.
Did they get you?
No, they didn't get me.
You should've just shown them just one ball.
No way!
Hold onto the rest of it, just say 'HAVE A LOOK AT THAT. I'M NOT GIVING YOU THE REST UNLESS I GET CASH'.
Just one ball.
Muppet!
Muppet! Look at that little Elmo, look at him winking at ya.
*covers face, giggling*.
That's not allowed, that!
Somebody hand me a tambourine, please. Somebody hand me a tambourine.
1:26:30
*holds out chainmail*
What do you think will win best picture?
I think Argo is going to upset Lincoln.
Do you know what should win?
I'll read your mind. Life of Pi.
Ooh.
No I didn't, did I?
*laughs* HOBBIT
Yeah. HOBBIT. But it's not nominated. You're an idiot.
If it wasn't for The Hobbit, Life of Pi
Life of Pi.
Oh god, that's a lovely film. Did you see that?
Ang Lee can do no wrong.
Right?
Except for that Hulk movie, but. Ang Lee's awesome.
Hey, you wouldn't like him when he's Ang Lee.
*laughs*
*laughs, claps*
I, uh.
I haven't heard that in awhile, Dom.
I think Life of Pi's the best picture, but I think Les Mis is gonna when it. Les Mis is a juggernaught this year.
Yeah. It was alright.
Lincoln, I thought was fantastic, but I think Les Mis will win it.
I thought Lincoln was too sobering and too boring.
And too beardy. You know?
Yeah.
Shave, I don't want to see that old beard.
Yeah, beardy. It's all about the beards this year.
Yeah yeah.
Hot dwarves with beards, hot Dominic with a little bit of scruffy scruff right here.
A little 7 o'clock shadow.
I got rid of mine.
Yeah, you look good with a beard.
I got rid of it.
Yeah? I like it.
Yeah I got rid of it.
You shave daily?
You do?
Mm, twice daily.
*mouths* Twice!
Twice daily?
*whistles* Very, very manly.
What's with this salt and pepper going on here?
Oh, I'm aging, prematurely.
I like it.
It's like the story of Benjamin Button.
I had a conversation with your ex-girlfriend on the set of the Hobbit, by the way.
Yeah. And did she talk about my grey beard?
She did not. Actually, the funny thing about Evangeline is that I was there visiting and I was in Stealth Mode. Nobody knew I was there, Warner Brothers didn't
know I was there, Peter bumped into me and said, 'Oh, Hi Cliff,' and I'm like 'Hi Peter. I know you're busy, just go back to work.' So I'm sitting in the back, being
really quiet, and Evangeline looks at me and she goes, 'You're visiting, aren't you?' She walks up out of her chair, comes right up to me and says, 'How're you
doing? Are you having a good time? Are you visiting? Where are you from?' She was the warmest and most sincere, amiable woman… she just completely
surprised me.
Lovely.
She was so generous with her time.
She's very surprising.
She generous, and so Canadian, that's one of the big reasons why, she was so nice. And I said, 'Yeah, actually 'm visiting from, you know, TheOneRing.net.' And
she went, 'Oh really? That's so exciting, and I hope the fans really like me' because she's nervous that the invented character, who's not in the book, is going to
take the most friction from the fandom. And I said, 'Don't worry, we're gonna love it. We're gonna love it, it'll be great.'
You know, there's a little bit of that with Arwen, when Lord of the Rings was being made, people were saying 'Oh, what you doing with Arwen, be careful with
Arwen, we don't want her being a warrior, and be gentle with her' cos they liked her so much, so I think the female characters in Lord of the Rings, people get very
very particular about, so. But I mean, Pete does great stuff.
He does, he does. And Mister Bloom is doing all of his own stunts these days.
He always does. We saw him the other day, and I'll tell one of the stunts that he didn't do. He did not pick up his dog's poo.
Oh no. Oh, party foul.
That is a stunt too far for Orlando Bloom.
Yeah.
Yeah, he just let it go with nature. And I said, 'you mean go with a four-year-old boy, when he walks past', and he went, 'Yeah.'
*laughs*
Lovely dog though. Beautiful dog. He's got a grey beard as well.
Nice dog, but I don't need him pooing in the street.
Yeah.
Got to pick it up.
In LA that's the worst thing, is to not pick up your dog poo.
Right?
Come on.
If I ever poo'd in the street, I'd definitely pick it up.
I would. Even if I didn't have a bag.
Just put it in your hand.
Yeah. Pick up your poo.
Use it as a cigar as a disguise. *smoke imaginary poo cigar*
*laughs*
Anyone got a light?
So one of you live in LA and one of you live in Scotland, or are you together or have houses each.
*looks at Billy and laughs*
What? *laughs hard*
Do you guys crash at each others pads or what?
Yeah, when Billy comes into town, right now he's with his family, so I don't have as much space and I think Billy wants to spread out a little bit. Uh, he gets a place
in different parts of LA. But when Billy comes in on his own... *grabs Billy's hand* There's always a room welcome for you.
And I live there. And it's lovely. And we get up and we have a coffee and we have a swim. Then we slap each other.
Yeah. I say to him, 'you can stay and long as you want, do whatever you want, my house is yours, fridge, you know, use the towels, all that kind of stuff'... But he
has to buy me a gift, everyday. That's the only proviso.
That's not bad.
And the gift, it raises in price so the first day, $10, $20, $30, $40. Which, I think that's pretty reasonable. You know. Got me a house when you left, didn't you?
Yeah. I was there for three months, though. *shrugs* I don't mind.
It's business.
When he comes visiting, do you have to buy any special tea or food or crumpets or something that he likes?
I have quite a lot of tea. I buy milk and coffee, cos I don't generally drink milk. Billy loves a bit of cow juice. So I'll get him milk, coffee, and then Billy has an
absolutely serene yoga routine, so I'll jump into that. And then I have to give him an hour in the morning for him to meditate, cos if he doesn't meditate, he's a
bloody nightmare.
Hell to live with.
*laughs*
Just give him a soft cushion, a corner of a room, an hour—he's fine.
Yeah?
Yeah. Without that he starts pulling his knives out.
Are you double-jointed?
*giggles* No.
Do you want me to leave?
Can you...? Are you...? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Billy, We'll talk later.
Okay.
We'll talk later about some of those delightful yoga moves. Wait a minute, we have over 1300 viewers live right now.
Wow.
Let's get them to do something. If you've got 1300 people, let's get them to do something.
Let's get them to all jump up and down in place.
Here's something, right? Everyone who's listening, and watching… is this visual as well as...?
Everything's visual.
Right. Everyone has to make a sandwich for someone they don't know. Today.
Nice.
So for someone homeless or someone, even a friend.
*applauds*
You have to make them a sandwich and go and take them it.
But surely they'd know their friend.
Yes, but they wouldn't know they're getting a sandwich.
They don't know they're getting a sandwich.
Hey, got you a sandwich.
What flavor?
Well, it's ham.
Oh, I like ham.
You've got your Twitter, right?
Yeah, I've got it.
Tell everyone to follow you and just watch the number go up.
Alright, everyone follow @OfficialBeecake. What?
How many followers do you have right now?
Right hold on.
Four.
That's a very good test.
*laughs* Four. Fourteen. No, 11.4K.
Brilliant.
Is that good?
It's great.
Wow. Meow.
Follow @OfficialBeecake.
Follow @OfficialBeecake and I am @DomsWildThings.
Yeah, do that.
And we follow each other.
Oh, I've sat on my leg too long. NYAH.
Oh, don't let something out.
No, don't let two tablespoons of air come out of your bum.
*finds things he's been sitting on* Radiosepia, buy that.
its my brother's album, Digital Scars, Radiosepia, what a singer.
Buy it.
It's like me but better.
He's really good, really good.
What genre of music?
I would say kind of broken singer/songwriter, with a little bit of a science tip.
Yeah, a little bit folky.
Alright.
You compared him to The Libertines the other night.
I heard some Libertines in there.
I think Badly Drawn Boy as well if anyones into the Mancunian guys.
I love Badly Drawn Boy.
I'll leave this here for you.
Thank you, I'll love it. Fantastic.
In fact, here is a gift. Digital Scars.
Thank you, Dom. Well done.
You can have that.
I just downloaded this last night, you guys, it's available on iTunes. Get Blue Sky Paradise.
Blue Sky Paradise.
Or Beecake.com and you can have the actual album like at, and we'll sign it! We'll sign it!
That's a sweet deal.
And there's merch, there's more merch on your thing as well, isn't there? Merch?
I don't think so, but there should be.
What about that t-shirt your wife was wearing the other night?
Yeah well, we just kind of have them for ourselves. We'll out them online, though.
Argh, I'm livid.
We'll have your CD's at the party right?
What. At the One Ring Oscar Party on the 24th of February? The night to end all nights.
What an evening that will be.
Guys, if you don't have your ticket yet, go ahead, go to TheOneRing.net, click the pull down menu that says events, or community. It says the Oscar party right
there.
*points and laughs*
Right in the Dominic Monaghan?
Alright and you can follow me @Quickbeam2000, follow Dominic @DomsWildThings, and be sure to watch BBCAmerica tonight, the American launch of Dom's
Wild Things. It's gonna be really really wild.
10/9central. 10/9central, check your local listings. And if you have DirectTV that's channel 264. If you have TimeWarner Cable, no idea.
It's amazing. It's an amazing show.
Thanks, William.
No I really loved it, I really did.
Thanks.
I'll watch it again.
Aw, that's sweet.
Are we gonna see you do gross things like eating bugs or eating exotic things?
I do eat a bit of exotic stuff, I do eat a couple of insects throughout the show, but not often. I eat some strange stuff. I don't do that many gross things, I mean, I
take my shirt off and that gets pretty gross a couple of times.
Oh my god.
Covered in open weeping sores.
Oh my god.
You're not Steve-O, you're not just…
No, I'm not Steve-O, I've got a few tattoos. Billy and I share a tattoo.
Yeah. He has it the weekends.
*laughs*
*applauds* Good one. Several people ask, do you have a Beatles tattoo?
I do. I do have a Beatles tattoo, a live from Strawberry Fields Forever, 'Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.' Which I think is true.
Yeah?
Yeah, and that's why I got it.
Yeah.
What did you think of Julie Taymor's Into the Universe?
Wait, do you mean Across the Universe?
Across the Universe, across, I meant to say that. Across the Universe. What did you think of her film version of that?
I thought it was good. I like Jim Sturgess, I think he's great, he makes good choices, he's a good actor. You know, anything around the Beatles kind of folklore I'm
interested in. Not a big fan of musicals, although in the last year thats been revolutionized. I went to see Les Mis, I went to see Matilda, I went to see Jersey Boys, I
want to see The Book of Mormon.
Me too.
But it's also about...You saw the The Book of Mormon, didn't you?
No.
What was that one? Oh you saw Avenue Q and you loved it.
Oh yeah.
I've not seen it.
Dirty Muppets.
Dirty Muppets.
Dirty Muppets.
Dirty Muppets.
Brilliant.
Is it time?
Yes.
Someone just said, 'Dom, don't drink your pee out in the wild.' I won't do that. I won't.
What...okay, great advice, that's really appreciated, thank you [chat ID]
Looking forward to the Life of Pi episode.
Yep. Life of Pi episode, coming up. But it's a slightly smaller scale. It's me, on a boat, middle of the Pacific, with a tiny, tiny little bee. Dangerous, though, it'll sting
you!
What's his name?
Steve.
Steve what?
Steve the bee!
*cackles*
He'll sting you! Careful
Steve the bee.
And all there is to eat is a cake.
Ah now maybe that's the ending! At the very end, a cake appears, I combine the two, and then Billy turns up with a guitar.
*air guitar* &9835;Dum dinkdink bum.&9835;
*air guitar* Closing credits.
So good. You guys are so good.
Next years Oscar nominated film. The Life of Steve.
*laughs* The bee.
The Life of Steve the Bee. You guys are really brilliant, and I want to thank you for your time, and thanks for—
Thanks man.
We love hanging out with you. *shakes cliff's hand*
And thanks for narrating my movie from all those years ago.
Oh, what a great film, Ringers, check it out. You can buy it at Amazon and all that kind of stuff, Ringers is all about the world of Lord of the Rings and what it
means to us in pop culture. Brilliant film.
Yeah. Heavy emphasis on the Hippie movement and Rock and Roll. Yeah, we got a PG-13 rating for one reason. And one reason only.
Drugs.
Yeah. A drug reference. You're in the booth, and we had a shot of a bong, it was a wizard bong, and you're in the recording booth going, *makes smoking noise*,
and you did this very audible toke, and we got smacked with a PG-13 rating right away.
Don't do drugs.
No, don't.
Unless you're asthmatic, and then Ventolin.
Just. *claps* I love it. Just have a laugh guys, have a good laugh. And Mr Billy Boyd. You're gonna be in LA for the next few weeks?
For another couple of weeks, at least.
Good. Good good good.
But I will come back for the One Ring Oscar Party.
We'll have to take you to the Cat and Fiddle for some of that authentic, yeah.
Yeah, I'd love that, yeah. We could have a toast to the Professor.
*shakes hands across Dominic* It's so good to see you, Mr. Boyd, and Mr. Monaghan. Wild Things from BBCAmerica, it's launching tonight.
*holds out chainmail*
We're gonna go offline now, we're gonna say thank you guys and wrap up the show, because we're gonna do a quick little Q and A session, and we're gonna
publish a little mini interview with Dominic on TheOneRing.net. Mr. Boyd, you can take that with you if you want.</font>
I'm taking it at least that far.
Can we give this? I don't know if it's mine to give away.
*stands with chainmail* See you later.
Take your chainmail and GET OUT.
To you, the audience, I hate to say goodnight so soon, but its like, its time to say goodnight. &9835;So long, farewell, alvetersain, goodnight&9835; Anybody?
*slowly wanders around in the frame*
You've made it awkward.
Are you gonna...?
You've ruined it.
Where's our musical exit, Billy?
*ducks into frame with a funny face*
*laughs*
*waves* See you later. Go get a hot dog or something.
Pink's. Pink's Hot Dogs on LeBrea.
And were good. (Screen fades to logo)
We're good.
It feels so....
END.