Essay Evaluation and
Communication
——郭世英
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Introduction
Evaluation
Communication
Conclusion
Introduction
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Objectives
Organization
Tasks
Implications:
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Length of the process and students’ motivation
Role of the instructor
Objectives
First semester:
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To teach the basic patterns and skills of
exposition so that students learn to write
logical short expository essays on topics
centering around their own experiences and
campus life;
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To reinforce the writing skills students have
learned and practiced in the previous two
semesters so that they can those skills in
expository essays;
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To prepare students for writing argumentation.
Second semester:
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To teach the basic elements and skills of argumentation
so that students learn to write logical short argumentative
essays on topics centering around their campus life and
hot topics;
To raise students’ awareness about the importance of
choosing appropriate words in writing so that they learn
to consciously use language that suits their purpose,
audience and tone, and that conveys their exact meaning.
To reinforce the writing skills students have learned and
practiced in the previous semester so that they can use
the strategies of exposition in writing argumentative
essays;
To prepare students for advanced writing.
Organization
First semester:
 Teaching is organized on a fortnightly basis: each unit
(except Unit Eight) consists of two parts: Tasks one
and Task two, which is attended to in two weeks; two
essays of 200-250 words are assigned for each unit. A
typical two-hour session is divided into three segments:
commenting on the previous written work, teaching
and practicing the new pattern and skill(s) and
brainstorming for the next assignment.
 The approach adopted is a combination of instruction
and discussion. Student involvement is encouraged.
The role of the instructor is that of a guide, trainer
and organizer all in one.
Second semester:
 Teaching is organized on a fortnightly basis: every two
weeks forms a unit which centers on a hot topic. The tasks
of each unit are 1) to introduce a basic element of
argumentation; 2) to deal with a problem in the use of
language; 3) to analyze readings on the topic and 4) to
brainstorm for the assignment of unit. In the first week,
Tasks 1, 3 and 4 are to be accomplished, and the assignment
is to write an outline/first draft; in the second, the major task
is to discuss representative outlines/first drafts, besides
attending to Task 2, the assignment being writing the final
draft.
 The approach adopted is a combination of instruction and
discussion. Student involvement is encouraged. The role
of the instructor is not that of a guide, trainer and
organizer all in one.
Tasks
1.Writing assignment:
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First semester:
Write an essay of 200 – 250 words on one of
the topics given in the textbook
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Second semester:
Write an argumentative essay, in 350 to 400
words, on any of the topics given in the
textbook or one that you choose yourself but is
related to the subject of the unit
2. The procedure
First semester:
1). Prewriting: choosing a topic and exploring ideas
• Discuss, in pairs or small groups, topics you want to
explore and how much data you can accumulate.
• Choose a topic you find interesting and have something to
say about and can handle in a short essay.
• Narrow the topic to a manageable scope.
• Decide the points/ facts most closely related to the thesis
statement
2). Drafting: getting your ideas on paper
• Decide how you are going to organize your essay
• Make a plan for your essay: Topic, Thesis statement,
Tentative title, Method of organization, Supporting details,
Conclusion
• Discuss the plan in pairs or groups and seek peer advice.
• Write the first draft
3). Revising: strengthening your essay
 • Read the draft carefully and objectively
 • Check the logical order of the points/ facts in the body
 • Check the transition between the points / facts
 • Cut out any information irrelevant to the thesis statement
4). Editing and proofreading: eliminating technical errors
 • Check your spelling and grammar.
 • Make sure you have used correct punctuation marks.
 • Observe essay format: capitalization, indentation and
spacing.
 • Make sure your essay has a title.
Second semester:
1) Prewriting: choosing a topic and exploring ideas
 • Discuss, in groups of three or four, different
views on the issue, or on some other issues; try to
find out why people disagree, and think of reasons
and evidence that support various viewpoints.
 • Make a tentative claim, and list reasons that
support the claim. Then switch sides, state an
opposing claim, and brainstorm for reasons and
corresponding supporting evidence.
 • Conduct a mock argument in the group and take
notes on the argument, especially the reasons and
evidence you use to support your positions.
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• Make a two-column list of pros and cons about the issue,
listing pros in one column and cons in the other.
What is the issue? How can I define it?
Is it an arguable issue? How can I narrow the issue for an
essay-length argument?
What are my views on the issue? How can I state my
claim?
What evidence supports my claim?
• Research the issue
Use library sources.
Surf the Internet.
If possible, talk with people who have experience
concerning the issue.
If possible, discuss the issue with an expert and ask
questions.
2) Organizing and drafting: getting your ideas on paper
• Develop your thesis and make a claim about the issue.
• Choose a line of reasoning and a method of organization.
• Write an effective introduction.
Identify the issue.
Provide necessary background information.
Define terms to be used in the argument.
• State your reasons along with your argument. Be sure to
state your reasons clearly.
Cite the sources of your evidence.
Use effective transition.
Write a satisfying conclusion.
3) Analyzing and revising: strengthening your draft
• Put your draft essay aside for a day or two
before rereading and revising it.
• Read your essay carefully and objectively.
• Make sure your claim is specific.
• Examine each reason and piece of evidence
and see to it that they are convincing.
4) Editing and proofreading: eliminating technical
errors
• Check your spelling and grammar.
• Make sure you have used correct punctuation
and spacing.
3. Assessment:
 • Weekly writing assignments (60%);
 • Attendance and participation in class activities
(10%)
 •A final in-class exam, including writing an essay,
answering multiple-choice questions and editing a
faulty passage. (30%)
 • In writing an essay, students are expected to pay
attention to content, format, language, organization
and appropriateness.
Evaluation
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Content
Language
Organization
Format
Evaluation
Scores given based on content, language, organization and format;
also list of items borne in mind by the students in peer evaluation
Priority given to different items, according to problems found out
and sorted by the teacher each time after first reading
Procedure:
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Instructor’s first reading (without any grade or comment), collection and
sorting of problems
Writing of list of items on the blackboard with special emphasis on the major
problems
Peer evaluation in class
Collection of essays with students’ comments on them
Second reading of essays, grading and selection of good essays as well as
problem ones
Analysis of and comparison between the selected essays by the whole class,
with the aim of praising the good ones and drawing lessons from the problem
ones
Praising those who were committed in in-class peer evaluation
List of items to be borne in mind in peer evaluation :
Content:
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Topic: Is the topic relevant to the task at hand?
Is it interesting and manageable?
Title: Is the title closely related to the thesis?
Points/ Facts in the body: Are the points/facts in
the body well chosen to illustrate the thesis
statement?
Language:
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Spelling: Are the words rightly spelt?
Grammar: Are there problems with sentence
structure, tense agreement, reference, etc.?
Punctuation marks: Are punctuation marks
correctly used?
Organization:
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Logical order of the points / facts in the
body: chronological, spatial, most important
to least important (or the other way round)
Transition: Are proper connectives used to
indicate transition from one paragraph/ point
to the next?
Format:
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Are there problems with capitalization,
indentation and spacing?
Is the essay well-proportioned?
Communication
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Teacher ---- Students
Students ---- Students
Students ---- Teacher ---- Students
Teacher --- students
1.Orientation week:
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A Memorable Lesson
It was a horrible summer, because for the first time in my
life I suffered the great sorrow and grief of losing my
beloved family member – my dearest grandpa.
When I rushed into the hospital, I saw him lying between
life and death. There were tubes all over his body. His
eyes were half open, and tears welled up in them. Unable
to bear it anymore, I found myself in floods of tears. I was
terrified and slowly dragged my feet to his side. His hand
was becoming colder and colder, and so was my heart.
Millions of pictures flashed in my mind, his love and care,
his words and smile, all of which were just as usual. I
began to blame myself for not visiting him very often, for
not cherishing his love. now I wanted to make it up, but I
simply had no chance!
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Man always fails to cherish until they lose
something; but I don’t want to be like that
anymore. I have come to realize that I
mustn’t take all the love for granted,
mustn’t rebel against my beloved ones. I
should show my affection to them, make
full use of every day and learn to
appreciate nature, for living is everything!
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My First Day as a Journalist
The most unforgettable day during my summer
vacation was my first day as a journalist. The feeling
of being a journalist, the people I interviewed and
the stories I heard still linger in my mind.
My task that day was to interview a group of college
students who were suffering from poverty. I thought
I would be paid for talking to my peers and the
feeling of being a journalist would be exciting. But
as soon as I began my interview I found I was
wrong. I just felt like stepping into a different world
which was full of pain and tears. My first
interviewee was a girl whose father died when she
was in Senior Three. Tuition fee became a big
burden to both the mother and the daughter. They
had to live a very simple life. The girl seldom went
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with her friends or took part in the school activities, for they
cost a lot of money. Even meat became a luxury for her. But
the girl said she didn’t mind living such a hard life; what
bothered her most was the psychological burden. She could
hear her mother sigh every night and they were ashamed of
having to borrow money, for people would often look at
them contemptuously. As she talked, her eyes filled with
tears.
I was moved by that girl. I first got to know such a kind of
life. I came to realize college life is not always full of
sunshine. There are still some students who suffer from
poverty and some other problems. We should try to
understand them and talk to them so that we can learn more
about life as well as our world. Also I understand more
about the job as a journalist, who should go into the world
of their interviewees and try to feel their hearts so as to have
a better understanding of the event covered.
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2.Striking a balance by offering a different
perspective：
3.Encouraging students to think but
meanwhile airing my own view
4.Encouraging students to think critically/
differently
5.Giving credit to creative / original students 刘少鹏
Fallen Leaves
 The second winter in BFSU, walking on the campus, I can
always see lots of fallen leaves covering the ground, thickly.
 Easily, I discover that the newly fallen leaves on the surface
are still dry and have a beautiful golden color, but the leaves
at the bottom have already become soft, wet and
decomposed in the earth. The leaves on the surface cannot
escape from this fate, and those that haven’t fallen off the
trees cannot escape this, either.
 The leaves are born of the earth. When they grow up, high
on the top of the trees, they never forget to protect the earth
from strong sunshine and rain. And when they are old, they
fall off and bury themselves where they were born. All
through their life, the leaves are firmly connected with their
home. These fallen leaves remind me of my own situation.
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Unconsciously, I’ve finished my freshman year in
BFSU. One year isn’t short at all, I think. But I have
never been homesick, which is really strange. Looking
back on the past one year, I surprisingly find that,
although home was the most important support to me, I
never took it seriously – I never worried about my
parents’ health, never cared whether father and mother
had quarreled, even never telephoned them frequently.
What I did was just spending money and asking for
more money, to pay for the expensive and ridiculous
freedom. Now looking at these leaves, I suddenly
realize that I did something terribly wrong.
“树犹如此，人何以堪”—I miss you, my sweet
home.
6.Making use of students’ ideas concerning the course to convince other
students of the necessity to take the course seriously 郭金
7.Being friendly to the students when in conflict 叶楠，向杰
Pragmatism or Humanity
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Having been observing for long, I discover that people today deal
with their interpersonal relationships with chiefly two attitudes –
pragmatism and humanity.
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Pragmatic people handle their interpersonal relationships out of the
realistic interests they have judged, and they strive for the benefit
while the relationship is going on, involving no certain personal or
gracious feelings. Nothing is more likely to distract them than their
set goals which are usually changeless, and often in favor of their
own good even if causing others pains and unhappiness. Friendship,
love and any other ethics are just no longer bonds to them because
they do not consider them as significant and beneficial as others do.
So these people often result in fulfilling their own interests while
upsetting or even sacrificing others, possibly even without noticing
that.
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Unlike pragmatic ones, there is another kind of people who
will take others’ benefit into consideration before making a
final decision. Although they might also have their own
interests, they don’t regard those as unique and unshakable.
They are caring for others’ opinions and situations out of
their human instincts – love and care, involving lots of
understanding though they are harmed a bit. They see
themselves important, but not the only one and beyond
others. They possess more human’s respectable morals,
deriving from long long ago and are glad and determined to
carry them on.
Pragmatism might promise you a stay-away-from-harm
interest, but that’s also the only thing it provides, whereas
humanity supplies much more than that.
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Fallen Trees
People usually deem trees noble and selfless because they
help absorb excessive carbon dioxide and in the meantime
provide fresh new oxygen, which contributes a lot to the
survival of human beings, but one phenomenon leaves a
stain on my consideration of them.
Trees are supposed to stand and grow vertically which
finally guarantees them a grand straight shape with spirits.
However, I often notice that there are some leaning trees
around, falling in all directions, weak, lifeless and withered.
It is the consequence of wind. Wherever wind comes, trees
follow the force and bend over. Day after day, year after
year, they keep the pose of bending and eventually lose their
straightness and fall sloping. Some trees are even forced to
lean on one side one day and on the other side the other day,
just like puppets. Who knows if they are going to have a
third side?
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I have observed quite a similarity in the world of ours.
Facing the authority of all kinds, some people, originally of
integrity, justice and honesty, conceal themselves and show
fake smiles to gratify their God like trees treating wind.
They consider their own opinions and even interests inferior
and believe obedience and flattering are the right things to
do. Another kind of people behave like the trees which alter
their sides frequently. This herd not only keep being false in
front of their authority, but in front of everyone as well.
These beasts do exist.
A usual comparison and contrast between trees and people
may be pleasant and warm, but mine is definitely as cold
and pathetic as those people-of-tree.
Students --- students
1. Rationale for in-class peer evaluation:
 Reduction of students’ dependence on the instructor as
authority
 Implication that one is writing for one’s peers as well as
the instructor and that one’s work will be appreciated
by others
 Comparison of essays with one’s own; learning from
others’ strengths and weaknesses
 Team work; courtesy
 Intelligibility and originality
 Research findings by my colleagues; common mistakes
taking time to be corrected
2. Impressive comments
 1) Offering suggestions
 2) Making remarks of encouragement to writers of
mediocre essays
 3) Reminding the writer to use things learned
elsewhere, e.g. intensive reading :
 4) Paying the writer a compliment
 5) Striking a balance between praise and criticism
Conclusion