Chemical Dependency’s
Impact on the Family
Jenna Washuleski
Audience
Clients going through substance abuse
treatment because of their addiction
The client’s family that is affected by the
chemical dependency
The general public
Objective
In order to develop new strategies to change the family
functioning into one that is healthier and more effective, client’s
and their family members must reflect on their family functioning
and experience, and gain insight into their behavior and family
dynamics.
This presentation will help with that process by creating
awareness of how one’s chemical dependency affects their family
system, and how the family’s behavior influences the chemically
dependent member.
(Curtis, 1999)
What is Chemical Dependency?
When an individual is addicted to alcohol or other drugs. The
person is dependent on the substance, and as the addiction
progresses, it not only consumes the person but their family.
Can be multigenerational
A disease that can be the result of one or several issues related
to chemical dependency
(Curtis, 1999)
Specific Issues Related to
Chemical Dependency
Multigenerational dependency
Emotional Abuse
Domestic Violence
Sexual Abuse
Abandonment
Physical or Mental Illnesses
The stage of addiction the dependent and family are in
• Whether or not the family targets issue right away or if the family adjusts to the
dependency
(Curtis, 1999)
Chemical Dependency is a Disease
 If chemical dependency is not addressed, it begins to consume
each family member which leads to the disruption of internal
regulations
 Daily Routines (Day to Day Activities)
 Family Rituals (Holidays and Traditions)
 Problems become easily activated and members often overreact
to the context of the problem
 It becomes normal to blame others for problems to avoid
resolution
 Short-Term Problem Solving
(Curtis, 1999)
Short-Term Problem Solving
 Accommodation and adaption to the chemical dependency –




Focus on short-term stability
Isolation of the dependent member from others with intentions
to protect dependent’s reputation – “If you don’t see it, it isn’t
there.”
Denial – “If it’s ignored, it will go away.”
Accept behavior due to chemical dependency in previous
generations – “It’s inevitable”
Short-term problem solving prevents families from attempting
an effective solution
(Curtis, 1999)
Disruption to the Family’s Developmental Process
 When chemical dependency becomes known in the family,
there are two options:
 Challenge the associated behavior
 Adapt short-term problem solving techniques and
accommodate to the dependent
 Families that chose to adjust to the dependent’s behavior
could experience one or all of three phases of families with
chemical dependency
 The early phase, the middle phase, and the late phase
(Curtis, 1999)
The Early Phase
 All other issues in the family tend to become ignored when
chemical dependency arises
 Family begins to revolve around managing drug-affected behavior
 Typically, only select members of the family are aware of the
dependency
 Former generations effect whether or not this behavior will be
tolerated
 Members may have developed patterns based on previous chemical
dependency in the Family
(Curtis, 1999)
The Early Phase
 The challenge now is whether the family:
 Accepts chemical dependency as a “fact of life” and adjusts to the
behavior
 Makes effort to effectively target this issue
 Typically, families begin to focus on the member’s chemical
dependency, but overtime, the family eventually adapts to the
behavior.
 The family then moves to the middle phase
(Curtis, 1999)
The Middle Phase
 Currently, the dependency plays a central role in the family. It
becomes the family’s sense of self and controls the family life
 Family members adapt their lives around the dependent’s use and
behaviors
 The dependent does not do the same
 The major task is committing to a set of family norms that will
maintain stability
 Prevent the family from long-term growth
 Members have immensely adapted to the chemical dependence
instead of challenging it
 Family is developmentally inflexible and distorted
(Curtis, 1999)
The Late Phase
 By now, the perspective on substance abuse and the beliefs and
values regarding substance abuse are incorporated into the
“family culture” and is transmitted to the children in the family
 Major tasks are developing a plan for the future.
 The family can only maintain short-term stability for so long
 Chemically dependent families may not reach this point of change
until a crisis has forced them to confront their problem
 The family discusses different options they can take
 Four Distinct Pathways
(Curtis, 1999)
1) The Stable Wet Dependent Family
Requires the least amount of energy
Initially, the family takes a firm stance and indicates there
will be consequences for dependency
• May threaten to leave or create crisis to force an end to dependency
There is no change rebuild the structure of the family
When the chemically dependent member doesn’t meet the
expectations, the family loses the ability and will to change
(Curtis, 1999)
2) The Stable Wet or Controlled
Use Nondependent Family
This option allows the members to no longer
have chemical dependency be the focus of the
family and apart of the family’s identity
The chemically dependent member’s
substance abuse does not stop but it reduces
to stable or controlled use of substances
(Curtis, 1999)
3) The Stable Dry Dependent Family
The dependent member successfully stops using
substances, but that is the only thing that
changed
Family members have established behavior
patterns around chemical dependency and it
continues to be central role in the family
identity
(Curtis, 1999)
4) The Stable Dry Nondependent Family
This option consist of both the chemical
dependency has stopped and the family has moved
past drug related issues.
• Some families just “no longer focus on drug-related behavior
and issues… And make no particular commitment to
reorganize the family
• For other families, all members make a proactive effort to
significantly make changes individually and as a family
• Members know that the end of dependency doesn’t solve
their problems and that an effort for reorganization and
transformation of family members will benefit the family
(Curtis, 1999)
Critical Issues in
Chemically Dependent Families
 Child Abuse
 “Alcohol- and drug-abusing parents were 3 times likelier to
abuse their children and 4 times likelier to neglect them than
parents who did not abuse these substances (CASA, 2005).”
 Abuse can be physical sexual abuse, overt sexual abuse, covert
sexual abuse, and emotional sexual abuse
 Very traumatizing and is linked to issues in their adult years
 Internalizes a sense of shame related to childhood abuse
(Curtis, 1999)
Critical Issues in
Chemically Dependent Families
 Shame
 Major factor identified wit chemically dependent systems
 “An inner sense of being completely diminished or insufficient as a
person… the ongoing premise that one is fundamentally bad,
inadequate, defective, unworthy, or not fully valid as a human being”
 Shame-bound systems show addictive, compulsive, abusive, and
anxious/irrational behavior
 Dependence is a result of shame. Shame typically derives from
childhood, likely from a chemically dependent parent, which shows
how chemical dependence can be multigenerational
(Curtis, 1999)
Family Survival Roles
 Each member may make assumptions about his or her personal
responsibility for the dependent’s use and increasing family
dysfunction.
 Internalized pain and anger are developed from guilt and failed
attempts to make things better
 To protect themselves from further pain, family members develop various survival
roles to cope with the increasing conflicts stemmed from dependency
 Survival roles are used as a defense mechanism to cover up and
protect the painful feeling their actually experiencing and to make
them ‘fit’ within the unit.
(Curtis, 1999)
Family Survival Roles
 “As an individual’s protective barriers intensify and
strengthen, the entire family grows more out of touch with
the reality of their emotions. As the dependent person’s
compulsion to use grows, so does the dysfunction between
the dependent’s behavior and the family’s reactionary
compulsive coping behavior.”
 The characteristics of survival techniques are broken down
into six different roles between the family
(Curtis, 1999)
The Chemically Dependent Person
 Does not correlate internal and external issues with their
dependent behavior
 “As the disease progresses, this person loses more and more
personal control, not only of actual usage but also of behavior”
 As a result, the person internalizes feelings of shame, guilt,
inadequacy, fear, and loneliness
 Doesn’t necessary live in the reality of what is actually occurring
(Curtis, 1999)
The Chemically Dependent Person
 Tries to project or place others responsible for their dependency
and family problems
 Is usually not aware of their increasing dysfunction, but notices
their relationship changing with others in the family
 Their sense of responsibility in the family decreases
 Takes on defensive behaviors and characteristics as a result of
their disease
 Denial, rationalization, and minimization
 Other defenses that are displayed are irrational behavior, charm,
rigidity, grandiosity, perfectionism, social withdrawal, threats,
hostility, and depression
(Curtis, 1999)
The Codependent
 Is the closest person to the chemically dependent person
 Is usually the first family member to react to dysfunctionally to
dependent’s behavior
 Is protective of dependent, makes excuses, rationalizes behavior,
and tends to make personal sacrifices for the dependent
 Assumes the responsibility for dependent’s emotional well-being
and decision making
 Self-worth begins to correlate with the dependent’s chemical use
(Curtis, 1999)
The Codependent
 Member thinks they are the reason for the chemical dependency
 “If I caused it, I must be able to cure it.”
 Members feel guilt and self-blame when there is an increase in
dependency
 “If only I would have done this.”
 Declining self-worth results to emotional isolation, loneliness,
internalized feelings of pain, anger, and low self-esteem which
result in the member becoming more compulsive
(Curtis, 1999)
Difference Between
The Codependent and an Enabler
 Enabling is “anything done to protect the chemically
depended person from suffering the consequences of, or
makes allowances for, his or her behavior.”
 Both prevent the dependent person from acknowledging the
severity of the behavior
 The codependent consumes themselves with and is very close
with the dependent; whereas, the enabler does not require an
on going relationship
 The codependent becomes a victim of the disease
(Curtis, 1999)
The Family Hero
 Generally the oldest child
 Works in close alliance with the codependent
 Sees and hears more than other children in the family
 Feels most responsible for the family plan and improving the
family situation
 Often excels in personal endeavors and is a perfectionist
 May be a workaholic
 Most likely to work in the helping profession
 Continuously seeks approval of family
 When it is not achieved, member typically develops independent
lifestyle away from family
(Curtis, 1999)
The Scapegoat
 Is noticeably the “tip of the iceberg of stress experienced by the
family”
 Has disruptive behavior
 Demands urgent attention from family
 Stress creates too much effort for other members
 Destructive behavior has become apart of their lifestyle; therefore, the
individual and family’s energy loss is not even noticed
 Family often blames the scapegoat for being responsible for
family’s dysfunctional state
 Distracts family from the main issue – the chemical dependency
(Curtis, 1999)
The Scapegoat
 Is aware of the unhealthy relationship between the hero, the
chemically dependent, and the codependent members.
 Is accused of not caring about the good of the family, labeled as
disloyal
 Feels rejected and alone in the family
 May separate themself from family and may consider suicide
 Has built up anger and resentment making it hard to keep a job
or build relationships with others
 Feels jealously toward the hero
 Defense behaviors are self-pity, strong peer values, defiance, and
hostility
 Chemical dependency and criminal activity are not uncommon,
especially at an early age
(Curtis, 1999)
The Mascot
 Distracts members and relieves tension by using humor and fun
 Feels good making members laugh during difficult times
 Acts as family pet
 Characteristic defense behaviors are hyperactivity, charm, being
super cute, and doing anything to get a laugh or be at the center
of attention
 Avoids pain through humorous control
 Being the center of attention develops a sense of power in the
family
(Curtis, 1999)
The Mascot
 Feels alone, low self-esteem
 No one knows the real person
 “No one sees the tears behind the clowns mask”
 Most members do not take the mascot to seriously
 If the mascot shows sadness, it is seen as lack of intimacy
 Fails to show true emotion for the fear of being rejected and
upsetting others
 Develops into an immature and insecure adult that is unable to
seriously recognize and express feelings
(Curtis, 1999)
The Loner
 Is liked by everyone in the family
 Has much in common with the scapegoat
 Both feel insignificant and unimportant within the family
 Finds it easy to distance themself from the family
 Stays on the outside of the family, rather than becoming involved in
it
 Builds a private world
 Privacy creates isolation from family which results in broken promises,
exclusion from family activities, and doesn’t get certain information by other
members
(Curtis, 1999)
The Loner
 May experience problems with




Being under- or overweight
Physical and emotional distances
Promiscuity and sexual dysfunction
Sexual identity problems
 Characteristically has difficulties developing close relationships in their
personal life
 As an adult, is most likely to be
 Highly independent
 Quiet
 Extremely creative
 As a result of childhood dreams of having the perfect family
 Attached to things and being materialistic
(Curtis, 1999)
The Chemically Dependent Family Survival Roles
 Are distinct, but members can switch roles
 For example, “the hero is a natural step into the codependent
role”
 All family members are victims of the dependency
 Members should take the responsibility to change this
 Children rarely have a choice
 Children cannot prevent being victims but can be benefited by developing
one of these six roles
(Curtis, 1999)
Children of
Chemically Dependent Families
 “Parents who used tobacco or illegal drugs or abused alcohol put
half the nation’s children—more than 35 million of them—at
greater risk of substance abuse and other physical and mental
illnesses." The report found that of all children under age 18:
 13% lived in a household where a parent or other adult used illicit
drugs
 24% lived in a household where a parent or other adult was a binge
or heavy drinker
 37% lived in a household where a parent or other adult smoked or
chewed tobacco
(CASA, 2005)
Children of
Chemically Dependent Families
 “Children in dependent homes learn to not feel, not trust, and
not talk about the family’s problems. As a result, they shut down
emotionally.” (Curtis, 1999)
 Growing up in this environment was typically not fun and the child
could develop severe trauma
 Socializing for them is difficult
 Children of dependent families are ore likely to develop behavioral
disorders, depression, or anxiety than other children
 These characteristics increase their risk to smoke, drink, and use other drugs
 Their hopes, wishes, and plans were often set aside or forgotten
 Are taught conditional love
 Have an increased risk of accidents, injuries, and academic failure
(CASA, 2005)
Adult Children of
Chemically Dependent Families
A person will remain a victim of their past if he/she
continues to allow it
It becomes a matter of personal responsibility for an adult
to work through painful issues in order to let go of the past
If adult does not work on this deep issue, the member will
be attached to this past and to those that have inflicted the
pain
(Curtis, 1999)
These Adult Children tend to…
Have difficulties in intimate relationships
Have a deep fear of abandonment or rejection
Be controlling, rigid, and lacking in impulsiveness.
Over react to changes that they have no control over and judge themselves harshly
based on standards that were internalized from childhood
Have great ideas, but procrastinate and have difficulty completing projects
Identify with what they do and how well they do it, and not from who they are
(Curtis, 1999)
Ten Ways Family Members Can Help
1.
Educate yourself



2.
Addicts thrive in an environment of ignorance and denial
See the member as a “sick person” and not a “bad person”
Talk to someone professional and attend open meetings to learn
recovering addicts’ personal experience
Don’t try to rescue the dependent member

It is crucial that the member experiences the consequences of their
behavior
Don’t financially support the addiction
4. Don’t try to analyze the reason for chemical dependence
5. Say what you mean, and mean what you say
3.

Don’t make false threats, actions speak louder than words
(TCC, n.d.)
Ten Ways The Family Can Help (Cont.)
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Don’t expect them to follow through with promises
Don’t preach or lecture to them
Avoid the reactions of pity or anger
Do not accommodate the disease
Members should not putting all their energy on the chemical
dependency


Don’t forget to take care of yourself and your own needs
This is a complex disease where professional support is highly
encouraged
(TCC, n.d.)
Therapy and Treatment
Al-Anon has been a powerful influence for recovery
Narcotics and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings
Individual therapy
Family therapy based on any of the family systems theories
and methods
(Curtis, 1999)
The Recovery Process
 Understand that this is a highly emotional process for all
members of the family
 It is not an easy process and that it takes time
 If it therapy doesn’t work at a particular time, that doesn’t mean
it won’t work in the future
 Along with family therapy, the chemically dependent member
should have their own individual therapy
(Curtis, 1999)
Maintaining Successful Recovery
 Members should focus on their
individual needs and continue
therapy
 Members should know how to healthily
demonstrate coping mechanisms
during dysfunctional periods
 Confront conflict when
it arises instead of ignoring or
adapting to it
(Curtis, 1999)
http://kyrorax.cajogos.com/?c=super-dr-cloting&p=27
Exercise: How is Your Family Impacted
by Chemical Dependency?
 Does one or more family member have chemical
dependency?
 Does it affect the family’s daily routines and family rituals?
 Do members use short-term problem solving to achieve
stability?
 Has your family gone through one or more of the three
phases based on how chemical dependency impacts the
developmental stages?
(Curtis, 1999)
Exercise: How is Your Family Impacted
by Chemical Dependency?
 Has your family experienced any of the four distinct
pathways in an attempt to achieve stability?
 Do any of your family members fit the characteristics of the
six survival roles? What role do you identify with?
 Do you believe recovery and therapy will benefit you and
your family?
(Curtis, 1999)
If so, It’s Not too Late!
Do not wait for a crisis to happen before your family
decides it is time to change. Continuing to achieve shortterm stability is preventing the family from progressing
forward. The only way to achieve a healthier way of life
is for the members to confront their problems. By doing
this, members will communicate and function more
effectively as a whole. This is a highly emotional
experience, but it will be worth it in the end. Do not let
chemical dependence control you and your family’s life
anymore!
(Curtis, 1999)
Resources
 Curtis, O. (1999). Chemical Dependency's Disruption of
Organization. In Chemical dependency: A Family Affair (1st ed., Vol. 1, pp.
67-74). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Pub
 Curtis, O. (1999). Critical Issues in Chemically Dependent Families.
In Chemical dependency: A Family Affair (1st ed., Vol. 1, pp. 75-88). Pacific
Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole Pub
 TCC. (n.d.). The Counseling Center. The Family Role. TenWays Family
Members Can Help. Retrieved December 1, 2014, from
http://www.thecounselingcenter.org/the_counseling_center/10ways
.html
 CASA. (2005, March 1). Ending Addiction Changes Everything. Family
Matters: Substance Abuse and The American Family. Retrieved December 1,
2014, from http://www.casacolumbia.org/addictionresearch/reports/family-matters-substance-abuse-and-americanfamily