Leaving for College:
How Can You Prepare?
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Introduction
Approximately 21 million young people will be starting or returning to college.1 The top three college
majors are: Business Administration and Management/Commence is the most popular major followed
closely by Psychology and then Nursing.2
The average tuition cost is $18, 497.00 per year.3 Some colleges/universities are higher while state
educational institutions are slightly lower. Tuition may vary depending on the student’s residency.
Students who live within the state of the college they are attending may receive a discount while
students outside the state will have higher tuition costs.
College Life
Someone has drawn a verbal picture of a young person beginning college as a child given Dad’s AMX
card and let loose at Best Buy. Freedom of choices. The student is the captain of their ship. They can
come and go when they want to. They can study when they want to. They will have plenty of
extracurricular activities to choose from. The restraints are removed. The confining gates of family and
church are swung wide open and before the student is Never Never Land!
College life is what the student chooses to make it. It can be party-hearty time. It can be girls and kegs.
It can be library or lab time. It can be whatever the intention of the student attending college makes it.
ASK: What is the student’s goal?
Initially, the goals may be honorable and admirable. However, all students do not begin or return to
college with the same common goal. This caldron of goals can influence the noblest young person
drenching them and then submerging them into an aspect of college life that might cause the noble
founder of the institute to roll over in the grave.
College Should Be:
Preparation for Success (Character), Not Education for Success (Career)
Financially
As mentioned above the average annual tuition cost is $18, 497.00. A four year degree will cost $73,
948.00. This does not include books and other required items. The tuition most likely includes a meal
plan.
The cost of getting an education is extremely high. Even with a veteran G.I. bill, the cost can be
staggering. The costs can rise if the field of choice requires a Masters or a Doctorate4. The medical field,
1
http://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=98
http://www.princetonreview.com/college/top-ten-majors.aspx
3
http://www.statisticbrain.com/average-cost-of-college-tuition/
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Often referred to in academia as the “terminal degree” meaning the highest degree achievable.
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in particular, requires at least another 3-5 years additional education beyond a simple bachelor’s
degree.
Grants are available but early application is essential. The earliest a student can apply for the fall of a
certain year is January of that same year. Each new year of college the student must reapply for the
grant. It is not automatic or even guaranteed. Such available grants are FSEOG5, FAFSA6, and Merit
Grants. There are scholarships based on the students major, grade point average, and the state of
residency or college to which the student is applying.
The student should check for employment opportunities both on campus and off campus. If off campus,
does the college permit the student to have a car? If not, is there available public transportation? If
not, what opportunities are on campus? The going pay scale on campus will be minimum wage. The
student might earn a higher wage off campus. Off campus employment, later in his or her major, might
find a firm that they can get first-hand experience or exposure to that field of choice.
PERSONAL NOTES:
In counseling a young person or your own son or daughter, discover what the student’s educational
goals are. It is not always wise to enter a college with its inherit costs not having a general idea of the
educational pursuit and career intention. If the student wants to try college, then counsel them to
attend a local junior college and complete their general education requirements which are transferrable
to any major college or university. Most local junior colleges have smaller versions of college life
including sports and social opportunities.
Gather data on the student’s current academic progress, stewardship of time, financial responsibilities,
and personal relationship to parents. If the student desires to “get away from home” this is a recipe for
disaster relational, spiritual, and financial. If the student has not established grass roots of study habits,
financial stewardship, spiritual disciplines and appropriate personal relationships, taking a year off to
work and develop these skills while staying at home would be sound counsel.7
If the student is a female and already has a boyfriend or is on the “hunt” for a boyfriend, parents should
discourage the pursuit of college. Why? From a financial aspect there is accumulated debt that will take
years to pay off as they enter into marriage. The probably of her using her degree in her field are
diminished. Is this a wise act of stewardship?
Socially
Depending on the college, there are ample opportunities for social interaction. Some opportunities are
healthy and constructive while others are unhealthy and destructive. Larger colleges and universities
have fraternities and sororities. A fraternity is a male only organization. Sororities are female members
5
Federal Supplemental Education Opportunity Grant
Same as the Pell Grant
7
Most students move from home to college without any real life experiences. A year off often is the best teacher
of maturity.
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only. In and of itself there is nothing wrong with belonging to a like-minded common group of men or
women of similar age or even similar educational majors. It can be a healthy stimulation to achieve
academically through wholesome competition and comradeship. But there are some “frats” and
sororities that are prone to “keg” parties, “sexing” parties with sororities, and hazing of new candidates.
There are also illegal activities such as gambling and illegal substances.
Many colleges and universities allow Christian organizations to use their facilities to promote spiritual
awareness and promote spiritual growth for these students who are believers. These organizations also
are highly evangelistic and are concerned about other student’s eternal spiritual destiny. Some of these
organizations are Campus Crusade and Intervarsity Fellowship. There is also a Christian organization for
those involved in sports called Christian Fellowship of Athletes.
There are a host of other religious organizations which promote their faith and or denomination. A
believer must be careful to recognize cults flying under the radar as a religious organization8.
Many churches are near college and university campuses and some make a special effort to minister to
the student away from home. They do this through college age Sunday school, small groups, social
activities, and special events like winter and spring retreats.
A first time student may be especially vulnerable to loneliness. All of his or her friends are at home or
have been accepted at different colleges stretched across the U.S. The college campus is huge
compared to the high school campus. The dorms might be modern but they are strange and
uncomfortable. The student has an assigned roommate. A student wanting to avoid the feelings of
loneliness can unwittingly accept an innocent invitation to a party or event which could result in the
talons of wickedness latching onto them.
Also check with the college about your student having a car on campus. What requirements does the
college have? Is the “freshman” restricted the first year from having a car on campus? What level of
coverage does the campus require? Does your insurance company make stipulations about driver’s use
and passengers in the vehicle while away to college? Who is going to pay for gas, oil changes, tires,
dead batteries, and emergencies?
Morally
College life can be a hot bed of immorality. The horror stories are prolific. The singular area of morality
that is easily eroded is the student’s purity through masturbation and pornography. These sinful
practices can lead to fornication.
All colleges and universities have filtering systems on their computers that can be publicly accessed such
as the library or student lounge. Even internet connections in the dorm rooms are filtered and can be
monitored.
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Religious organization is used here referring to non-main line religious denominations, cults, etc.
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However, you do have high breed geeks who get around fire walls and go into sex chat rooms and view
pornography. There are on-line lingerie catalogs that students can access to stimulate their
imaginations that lead to self-gratification.
Pornography and masturbation is the number one sexual problem on college and university campuses.
My time with two campuses verified my counseling load to be this very thing. But there is great hope
for obedience to purity and victory in life.9
Parents should be teaching their son or daughter about their sexuality and what the Bible says about
handling their sexual desires and urges. One college I personally know of conducted a class on sexuality
and college life by the student deans. The incoming freshman were divided by gender and each was
informed that masturbation was permissible because God created them as sexual beings and this was a
viable expression of that sexual urge and expression.
College and university campuses often are opponents to morality.
Mentally
Let’s begin by assessing the college candidates present study habits? Do they have a high GPA?10 Do
they have to work hard to maintain that average or does it come easily for them? Do they work in
advance on writing and research projects? Do they procrastinate and still eke out an acceptable grade?
How much time do they spend on Facebook, texting, or e-mailing? How much time to they spend
“hanging” with friends?
Many college students remark after the first several weeks that their high school experience was a
breeze; meaning they flew through the coursework. However, in college there are no parents to remind
them about curfew. The college professors, teaching mega classes,11 are not going to send e-mail
reminders, leave post-it notes, or make phone calls reminders about due assignments.
Those involved in the perspective college student’s life must prepare them for the mental rigors.
Roommates who study at different hours or with their iPod shaking the dorm walls through their
headphones! Or other students playing hallway hockey outside your room door. Or the suite mate
singing in the shower at 1 AM when you’re trying to sleep. DISTRACTIONS!
The student may need to take advantage of the campus library or tutoring if they are weak in a subject
area. Tutoring is often promoted and provided by upper classmen. Lay down the pride and do
whatever is necessary to use time wisely.
Many courses consist of lists and rout memory. Help the student discover what means and methods of
review and memorization works best for them. It may be flashcards. It may be working with another
student from class. It may mean developing a matching game of definition with the word. Other
techniques are using an acronym, setting a concept to music, visualization, and note cards.
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Masturbation: Shattered Expectations for Sexual Gratification
Grade Point Average
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A MEGA CLASS is 200-400 students for general subjects all freshmen must take regardless of major
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College life is not a breeze. It is a mixture of a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, and earthquake. Mental
preparation is essential. You’re only in college for four years! Avoid the five year plan!
 SIDEBAR: TIME CAN BE A CONSTANT ENEMY. The tyranny of the urgent can result in everything
started but nothing accomplished. Time management is key. Everything at college requires time:
intermural sports, homecoming football game, praying for a particular focus group, a Bible study, and
“getting a slice” at the food court! Ask yourself two questions before you decide on an extra-curricular
activity:
1. Why am I here? Why did I come to college? Can I write out my collegiate purpose statement in
a single sentence?
2. How will this “thing” increase my academic abilities, awareness, astuteness, and skills?
The Apostle Paul offers a bit of timeless counsel when he pens that all things are lawful but not all things
are profitable.12
Emotionally
A flood of emotions often swell inside the college student. Some revolve around questions of doubt:
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Did I choose the right college
Did I select the right major
Should I have stayed closer to home
Should I have attended a local junior college first
How am I going to pay for this
Where do I look for a part time job
How am I going to balance a job and studies and classes and assignments
How will I get to work off campus
Where does Basic Introduction to Cultural Distinctive and Differences meet
Where the library…..cafeteria
Some emotions are heard in statements, such as:
 I miss home
 I miss my girl/boy friend
 I miss my friends
 I hate my roomie – he/she is a slob
 This cafeteria meal plan is repulsive
 I wondering what the guys are doing tonight?
 I don’t think I am cut out for college
 I’m over my head
 I can’t carry 16 hours of college credits
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1 Corinthians 6:12, 10:23
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 I went to the Dean’s Department and they didn’t seem to really listen to me
 Everybody seems to know what they are doing or where they are going but me!
The primary source for human comfort and guidance should be the parents. If a student muddles
through these doubts or statements alone it seems like a reflection on the parent-child relationship. If
the student was actively involved in a high school ministry one might hope that that relationship doesn’t
end because they went off to college or graduated high school. A call from a well-regarded and
respected church leader or a postcard can bring encouragement and perseverance. Coordinated home
time with the student over breaks is an unsurpassed opportunity to reconnect and recharge.
Spiritually
The college candidate’s spiritual disciplines growing up and in high school are what he or she walks
through that dorm room with. Strong spiritual habits remove the boulders of living college life as a
believer. Weak spiritual habits probably can’t even remove the pebbles along the pathway of college
living.
What are some basic spiritual disciplines that can surround, protect, and mature the college student?
 Structure, systematic Bible reading. Not Daily Bread or Streams in the Desert, but selecting a
book of the Bible to read through from start to finish. My encouragement is the college
candidate does not select the Chronicles! As the student reads follow the three basic steps to
Bible study: observation, interpretation, and application. Keep a journal of the study notes for
the day. See attached reproducible Bible study devotional sheet.
 Prayer. Again, not “Now I lay me down to sleep…” Using a simple acronym of JOY….praise to
Jesus for Who He is, what you see Him doing, an attribute, etc.; prayer for Others and their
needs; now pray for Yourself.
 Fellowship. Find a local church of similar background theologically and fundamentally to attend.
Attend as much as college life permits. Become acquainted with the church members. Find a
place to serve as your schedule permits. After finding a church, find a Christian organization on
campus you might consider attending. Remember that many of them require Bible studies to
participate while others may want you to become a group leader having similar responsibilities
as a shepherd with church attenders (visiting, recruiting, etc.) The Christian campus
organization is NOT TO BECOME your church. It should be secondary supplement to a church
home.
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Conclusion
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Assure the student of your love and support
Insure that the family bond, if strained, has been strengthen
Reassure the student of your confidence in the Lord’s will for
their lives
Assure the student you will be praying for them
A PRAYING SUPPORTIVE PARENT (OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER) OFTEN IS
MUCH, MUCH MORE THAN OTHER STUDENTS ARRIVE WITH TO BEGIN
COLLEGE LIFE!
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Basic Bible Study Devotional Sheet
Date:___/___/____
Passage:_____________________________
Observations:
Record at least five things you
notice about the passage: i.e.
words, verbs, repetitive phrases,
people, places, things
Interpretation:
Think about the original people
who would receive and read this
letter. How would they
understand what the author’s
intentions were? What would
they think the author wanted
them to know or do?
Application:
Select at least one way you can
use the author’s intention to
help you with your thinking,
feeling, and doing today.
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