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Betty Friedan
The Feminine Mystique
“She’s a real girl.”
The Feminine Mystique
• This is an essentialist definition of femininity
– “To be a woman is to act like so”
– To be otherwise is to be unfeminine, not-woman
– To look to compete with men on equal terms thus means
that one wants to be a man
– Careers and goals for higher education in this way serve to
‘masculinize’ women, making them less feminine (less
women) and rendering them unhappy in their lives.
– The claim made by the mystique is that a real woman
would be happy in (and only in) a purely domestic role
• “I’ll cancel your lunch orders. You’re a mother. That’s your job.
You don’t have to earn money too.” It was all so beautifully
simple! “Yes, boss.” I murmured obediently, frankly relieved. (95)
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• The lives of women revolve entirely around men: “They
though they did not have to choose, to look into the
future and plan what they wanted to do with their
lives. They had only to wait to be chosen…” (133)
– Sex and the City
• “There is no problem in the logic of the feminine
mystique, for the woman who has no wishes of her
own, who defines herself only as wife and mother.”
(116)
– “But forbidden to join man in the world, can women be
people?” (100)
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• The goal of feminism is, for Friedan, the
freedom to make “the decision as to what one
is going to be,” which has traditionally been
reserved for men. (134)
• The struggle is “simply to become fully
human.” (136)
– Positive liberty
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Roots of the mystique
• “A mystique does not compel its own
acceptance.” (268)
– “Brainwashing”
• Recall Malcolm X
– Must fill real needs
• Cultural/Social: Insecurity caused by the War
• Scientific: Freudian & functionalist
• Economic: Replacing wartime consumption
– Marcuse
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Cultural Needs
• “I live through my husband and children. It’s
easier this way. In this world now, it’s easier
to be a woman, if you take advantage of it.”
(273)
– Uniformity
– Uncritical worldview
– Marriage as ready-made identity
– Privatism
• No value in larger social engagement
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• The role of “woman” (i.e. wife, mother) is
defined by the presence of a man
– Young women “‘seek my security in him’ instead
of finding themselves, and each act of selfbetrayal tips the scale further away from identity
to passive self-contempt.” (257)
– The dynamic of systematic sexism here in many
ways resembles that of institutionalized racism.
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Lost Dimensions
• Research: “Marriage today is not only the
culmination of a romantic attachment; more
consciously and clear-headedly than in the
past, it is also a decision to create a
partnership in establishing a comfortable
home, equipped with a great number of
desirable products.” (315)
– A market-oriented concept of love
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Functionalism
• Describes a thing in terms of its function within society
– Ex: Sexual segregation preserves society in its current structure
• On functionalist sociologists: “There can be no doubt that
they were describing things ‘as they were,’ but in so doing,
they were relieved of the responsibility of building theory
from facts, of probing for deeper truths.” (206)
– Marcuse
– Blurs line between “is” and “ought to be”
– Assumes endless present, denies that future can be different
from past
– Identifies the woman with her role
• “Woman is what society says she is” (207)
• Gender essentialism
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Functionalism
• If the eternal present is assumed, the task for
sociologists, educators, and parents is to
“adjust” the individual to “social realities”
– Uncritical
– “At the present historical moment, the best
adjusted girl is probably the one who is intelligent
enough to do well in school, but not so brilliant as
to get all A’s” (205)
• Skilled in her role, but less likely to feel unfulfilled by it
• Defining happiness
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• The social role of women is as a type, not as
individual humans
– “the mysterious miracle of femininity” is realized
simply by being female
– Identifies the individual solely with her biology
• Men go to school to be educated and find careers,
women go to find husbands.
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• It is functional “knowledge” that “only the
exceptional woman can make a go of a
commitment to a career.” (253)
– Either housewife & marriage or career & celibacy
– Defining “normal”
• “What 51% of the population does today, 100% should do
tomorrow.”
– To be exceptional is to be not-normal
– “Somehow, the student gets the point that she does
not want to be the ‘exceptional woman.’”
• Exceptional women can’t land a man
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• “We have to stop being so teacher-centered
and become student-centered. It’s not what
you think they need, but what they think they
need. That’s the functional approach.” (251)
– Social “realities”
– Career training
– Lack of critical dimension
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Freedom of Choice
• Then-current goal of totalized motherhood
counterproductive
– Produced weak, dependent adults
• Women are not forced to choose the life of a
housewife, but how free is their choice to do so?
– Freudian theory & functionalist approach to gender
make homemaker mother central figure in child’s life
• Examples: Autism, neuroses
– Thwarted in efforts at education & career
– Manipulated by marketing, mass media
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Demographics
• Research Conclusions:
– “Since the Balanced Homemaker represents the
market with the greatest future potential, it would be
to the advantage of the appliance manufacturer to
make more and more women aware of the desirability
of belonging to this group.”
– “Educate them through advertising that it is possible
to have outside interests … (without becoming a
Career Woman). The art of good homemaking should
be the goal of every normal woman.”
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“She’ll want them. She’s a real girl.”
• Marketing should target very young teenage girls
– “The young ones will want what the others want, even if
their mothers don’t.”
• Older, more independent women should be made to
feel guilt
– The product will enable you to give your husband and
children the things you should, but aren’t.
• “Suggest that it becomes truly a part of you, reflecting
you.” (317)
– Housework should be not a chore, but a joy. A chance for
self-expression (by women. Men have better things to do.)
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“You can be the woman you yearn to
be with a Plymouth all your own”
• “With increasing skill, the ads glorify [a
woman’s] ‘role’ as an American housewife—
knowing that her very lack of identity in that
role will make her fall for whatever they are
selling.” (327)
– Abstracted, restrictive image of femininity and
pressure to achieve it
– Impossibility of this results in unhappiness,
desperation
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False Consciousness
• These qualities create a demand in the market for
products that will help to achieve the feminine ideal
– Ad for Ultima: “Dedicated to the woman who spends a
lifetime living up to her potential!”
– “The only totally integrated program of nutrient make-up
and skin care—designed to lift a woman’s good looks to
their absolute peak. The woman who uses Ultima feels a
deep sense of fulfillment. A new kind of pride. For this
luxurious Cosmetic Collection is the ultimate... Beyond it
there is nothing.” (quoted on 328)
• As in Marcuse, sincere desires may be tools of your own
oppression
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