Are You Listening?
ASMC—PDI 2010
John A. Kline, PhD
Professor of Leadership
Troy University
www.klinespeak.com
jkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edu
Listening Exercise
Listen as I read a story, then be
ready to answer questions when
I finish. This exercise is from a
book I wrote on listening a few
years ago.
How well did you listen?
• Distractions influence hearing and listening
• Tough to get details hearing it just once
• You may focus on the wrong things
• Nonverbal cues affect listening
• Location makes a difference
• Familiarity can be a factor
Fallacies about Listening
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Listening is not my problem
Listening and hearing are the same
Good readers are good listeners
Smarter people are better listeners
Listening improves with age
Listening skills are difficult to learn
Bad Listening Habits
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Thinking about what we are going to say
Interrupting—hinders listening; is rude
Talking when we should be listening
Listening for what we expect to hear
Prejudice toward speaker or subject
Preoccupation with other things
Tendency to stereotype
Our self-centeredness
Not paying attention
Accident Exercise
Five volunteers will participate in an
exercise while the audience observes:
• What drops out
• What is distorted
• What is added
Effective Listening requires
• Receiving
• Attending
• Understanding
• Remembering
• Responding
(Assigning Meaning)
Listening Inventory
Types of Listening
• INFORMATIVE – understand message
• RELATIONAL – understand speaker
• APPRECIATIVE – enjoy message, music, etc.
• DISCRIMINATIVE – distinguish sounds
• CRITICAL – evaluate message or person
• While each type requires some different skills, let’s
look at 18 suggestions for how to be a better listener—
6 for what you Think; 6 for what you Feel; 6 for what
you Do.
What you Think about Listening
• Understand Listening is Complex
– Know the fallacies
– Know the bad habits
– Know the types of listening
• Prepare to Listen
– Long-term: listen to tough stuff; build your vocabulary
– Mid-term: do research; get background
– Short-term: be in spring-loaded position
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Adjust to the Situation
Focus on Ideas or Key Points
Capitalize on the Speed Differential
Look for Relationships to what You Already Know
Exercise:
Value of seeing Relationships
• Listen (don’t write) as I read a list of ten
words. Then when I have finished, write
as many as you can remember.
What you Feel about Listening
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Want to Listen
Delay Judgment
Know Your Biases
Don’t Tune Out Dry Subjects
– Put yourself in the speaker’s place
– Ask how you can use the information
– Pretend you must repeat the information
• Accept Responsibility for Listening
• Encourage Others to Talk
– Talk less; listen more
– Give positive feedback
– Emphasize, share, keep confidences
What you Do about Listening
• Establish Eye Contact with the Speaker
• Take Notes Effectively
• Be Physically Involved
– Posture
– Participation
– Positive Attitude
• Avoid Negative Mannerisms
– Fidgeting, texting, disrupting, dull look
• Exercise Your Listening Muscles
• Follow the Golden Rule
– Treat others the way you want them to treat you;
So?
So What?
• Make listening a priority
• Keep on working at it
• You can improve
• It’s worth it
• Listen!
Are You Listening?
ASMC—PDI 2010
John A. Kline, PhD
Professor of Leadership
Troy University
www.klinespeak.com
jkline@klinespeak.com or jkline@troy.edu