On Thesis Statements
“Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (ca. 1838)
Key elements to an effective thesis statement:
Specificity
Revision
Specificity
Succinctness
Specificity
Manageability
Specificity
Engaging
The thesis statement has two primary goals: to state your claimand provide valid evidence to
back up your initial claim.
Your thesis statement needs to be passionate, thus the topic you choose for the argument paper
needs to mean something to you. Choose wisely. It is easy to tell if you are uninterested in what
you are writing about and if you are uninterested, you may as well forget about having an
interested audience.
Common problems with thesis statements:
Too broad – “There are a lot of problems with today’s society.”
States a fact/unarguable – “Suicide is the intentional and conscious ending of one’s own life.”
Asks a question – “Why should we have to pay taxes?”
W131 Autumn ‘12 – Reynolds
On Thesis Statements
What makes a good thesis statement?*
1. An effective and strong thesis statement will make some sort of stand.
Your thesis statement should reflect your conclusion on whatever matter it is you are dealing
with.
There are some negatives and positives to energy drinks.
This is weak because there is no obvious stand taken by the author and it also lacks specificity
and is far too vague.
Energy drinks do have some positive effects such as giving you enough energy to
take on the rest of the day; however, the negatives, such as dangerous heart
palpations, tremors, sporadic and possibly violent agitation, chest pain, dizziness,
and insomnia, drastically outweigh the positives and make the drinks extremely
dangerous for consumption.
This is a strong thesis because it takes a very firm stand. It is not vague and it is quite specific
with all of the examples.
2. An effective and strong thesis justifies the discussion.
This is rather obvious – your thesis should explain the point behind your whole paper.
Teenagers text and drive too much.
This is weak because it is merely an observation and an opinion.
Teenagers who text while driving is a very dangerous problem because it greatly
impairs the driver and leads to numerous crashes and fatalities and since the
numbers of these horrific incidents continues to grow, an action needs to be made to
prevent these needless deaths.
This is strong because it explains why the author is discussing this problem.
3. An effective and strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.
One and only one main point needs to be apparent for readers for if your thesis statement
expresses more than one idea, you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper.
Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages
can provide both advertising and customer support.
This is weak because the author cannot decide what exactly he wants to write about, thus the
reader cannot decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages.
W131 Autumn ‘12 – Reynolds
On Thesis Statements
Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies
should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and
customer support.
This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: you will find that
many clear and engaging thesis statements may contain words such as because, since, so,
although, unless, and however. These words tend to induce an answer to the all-important
question why.
*This section was adapted from Writing Tutorial Services by Indiana University, Bloomington.
W131 Autumn ‘12 – Reynolds
On Thesis Statements
Examples
Living in an apartment has lots of advantages.

This is much too broad and not at all specific. There is merely a statement here, and no
argument. Right now, this is merely an opinion statement. For an argument, you need to
be able to argue two sides – what is the other side of apartment living?
Living in an apartment allows for maintenance free living and lots of conveniences, unlike home
ownership.

This is a bit better than the previous for it does explain the advantages, but it still is not
specific enough. Questions such as, “Why is apartment living convenient?” still need
addressed. “Lots” should never be used in a thesis statement or any part of a paper. It is
too vague, thus it becomes an empty work. Instead, explain what “lots” is.
Apartment living, unlike home ownership, provides the occupant with maintenance free living
and since most complexes are located in cities, it is more convenient due to the closeness of
work, entertainment, and shopping.

This is significantly better for it has a developed argument that is specific, succinct, and
provides ample examples to support the initial claim. With such a thesis statement, it will
be easy to set up the rest of the paper. This topic still isn’t great though – do you know
why?
We need to save all endangered species.

Again, this is far too broad. To have an effective thesis statement, you need specificity
details, and arguable stance. Answer that looming “why” question and answer it often.
We need to save all endangered species because they are important for our environment and they
are cute.

This is still an opinion, too broad, and only answers one “why”, but does not do it well.
Why are endangered species important to our environment? What part of our
environment? Endangered species is very broad – choose one, maybe two if they are
similar, species and a better paper will follow. You will not be able to write a paper
addressing all endangered species and why they need saved. The last statement is, yet
again, a mere opinion and not at all relevant to the argument, which so far, appears to be
endangered species need saved because they are important to our environment.
W131 Autumn ‘12 – Reynolds
On Thesis Statements
Human population has a tremendous impact on the current rate of endangered species on the list
from the International Union for Conservation of Nature and with both rates rising; the
biodiversity of our planet is in grave danger, which will inevitably lead to dire consequences.

This thesis statement is exceptional. While a specific species was not chosen, a more
specific topic was, which leads the author to explore more species in support of the
biodiversity/human population argument. This type of thesis is interesting and leads to a
great paper that will, hopefully, answer the questions, “why human population has an
impact on endangered species,” “why biodiversity is important,” and “what those dire
consequences will be.”
W131 Autumn ‘12 – Reynolds