Look at the picture
again closely.
Then read
Description A &
Description B.
Description A
Beyond the bridge is an old
lock.
Description B
Beyond the low wooden bridge the old lock
sleeps, forgotten and motionless as if
trapped by the strange, haunting trees that
surround it.
Think about the
descriptions. Which
one do you like the
best and why?
Description A – This is a very
simple description, the reader
does not have to think very much.
It just tells you what is there.
Beyond the wall is an old
lock.
Description B – Here the writer
has taken the simple description
and added to it. Now the reader
has to think and use imagination.
Beyond the low, wooden bridge the old lock
sleeps, forgotten and motionless as if trapped
by the strange, haunting trees that surround it.
Let’s look more closely.
Beyond the low,
wooden bridge
the old lock
sleeps .
Adjectives – ‘low, wooden and old’ - used
to describe the bridge and the lock.
Verb / Personification – ‘sleeps’– The
writer has made the lock seem human.
The writer has also used the word
‘haunting’.
‘haunting’ suggests something
mysterious or frightening.
With this one word the writer has
introduced a sense of mystery.
Just what is happening in the
picture?
What else can the
writer use?
Let’s add another
sentence to
Description B.
Description B
Beyond the low wooden bridge the old
lock sleeps, forgotten and motionless
as if trapped by the strange haunting
trees that surround it. Their branches
are like a tall giant’s fine fingers
grasping at the walls.
What has the
writer used now?
Their branches
are like a tall
giant’s fine,
fingers grasping
at the walls .
Simile – ‘like’– the writer has said the subject is
like something else. It adds to the picture in the
reader’s imagination.
Alliteration – ‘fine, fingers’ – words with the
same beginning sound used one after another.
It sounds super!
What makes good
descriptive writing?
In some ways it is like
building a wall, the
writer needs to use the
right building blocks?
These are just some of the
building blocks!
Similes
Alliteration
Personification
Adjectives
Now look at some different
pictures of Fourteen Locks.
Make a mind map of your ideas
for description.
Use your ideas to write
exciting descriptive
sentences.
Remember to use the
building blocks!
Similes
Alliteration
Personification
Adjectives