Types of Ceremonies
Your Life is a Sacred Journey
And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement,
transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is
possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply,
listening to your intuition, taking courageous risks,
embracing challenges at every step of the way…
You are on the path
Exactly where you are meant to be right now…
And from here, you can only go forwards, shaping your life story
into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage,
beauty, wisdom, power, dignity, & love….
Caroline Joy Adams
How the Ceremony Creation Process Works:
For A Wedding or Commitment Ceremony
1) A prospective client contacts me through Kindred Spirit Ceremony, Inc. for a
free, no-obligation consultation regarding their desires for a ceremony and
the details such as date, place and time.
2) At the consultation, I review the services of KSC, outline the process, make
initial recommendations and explain fees and other details. I recommend
that the consultation be in person, but if that is not available, through Skype
or another video service. This allows for the couple and me to get to know
each other better. Good chemistry is essential.
3) Once the couple engages me for the ceremony, they sign the contract, pay the
deposit fee and the date is set.
4) This is where the real fun begins! I will then send a detailed questionnaire to
the couple regarding special people who will be involved in the wedding.
This is where the ceremonial preparation starts. I want first to know all the
particulars such as:
o Names of the Wedding Party (Maid of Honor, Best Man, Attendants,
Children involved, etc.
o Names of special guests (Grandparents, Parents, Family and Other
Special Friends)
o Have you yet designated a person to sing or to read passages?
o Will you honor or remember loved ones not present?
5) Next we get to the love story questionnaire. . I want to help you share your
story in a deeply personal way with the guests at your ceremony. You will be
asked first to complete the questionnaire and then to meet with me to talk
further about your story and your desires for the ceremony. This can be
done as a couple or separately. The questionnaire includes questions such as
these:
o Why are you having a celebrant wedding?
o How did you first meet?
o When did you fall in love and how did you know?
o How did you propose or accept the proposal?
o What do you love about your partner?
o What actions does your partner do that says, “I love you”?
o What are your families’ heritages? Are there any special customs,
rituals or traditions from this that you would like to include in the
wedding?
o Do you have favorite songs you would like to include?
o Favorite writers or poets/
o And the list goes on. The point is to get the important information to
make your ceremony unique.
o Do you wish to write your own vows? Do you need help from me in
doing this?
6) Once you have submitted the questionnaire, you will then meet with me to
discuss your answers and to begin brainstorming rituals and ceremony
structure.
7) I will answer any questions regarding the obtainment of a marriage license
but the client will be responsible for getting the license.
8) After these steps are completed, I shall compose the draft script of your
wedding from processional to recessional, including suggested music, songs
rituals and readings as requested. The script will be highly personalized as a
result of your time spent with me and on the interview questions. Note I am
not a wedding planner or a special event director. I do provide to these
professionals the cue sheets for processional, recessional, music and any
readings or rituals performed during the ceremony.
9) The script will be sent to the couple to review and changes and revisions will
be made until the final version is approved.
10) I will be on site at the rehearsal (if desired by the couple).
11)I will be at the wedding site 60 minutes prior to the wedding and will
conduct the ceremony in professional, prepared and appropriate manner.
12)Following the ceremony, the couple will receive a keepsake copy of their
ceremony.
How the Process Works
For a Funeral
Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain
of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the
holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments,
and life itself is grace. – Frederick Buechner
Services of remembrances are sacred opportunities to remember those who have
touched our lives in intimate and beautiful ways. The process for the funeral is
similar to other ceremonies in that I will develop along with the client a very
personal funeral, burial ceremony or cremation ceremony that befits the life that is
being celebrated and remembered.
The process works like this:
1) The prospective client (usually a family member or friend) contacts me
through KSC for a no-obligation consultation regarding their desires for a
funeral and the details such as date, place and time.
2) At the consultation, I review the process and make initial recommendations
based on the desires expressed by the prospective client. I recommend that
the consultation be in person or, if that is not possible, through Skype or
another video service.
3) Once the prospective client engages me for the ceremony, a contract is
signed, a down payment is received and the date is set.
4) Then the real work begins.
5) I will provide you with a questionnaire that explores the life and
relationships of the person to be honored. This important document will
provide the basis for a ceremony that is intimate and loving in a way that
celebrates that life and the impact that the loved had on others. (Don’t worry
if you do not have all the answers. I can make suggestions.) We will explore
questions such as:
Are there family members or friends who would like to be involved in the
ceremony? In what way, would they like to participate (thru song or a
reading, etc.?)
Are there particular poems, songs or prose passages that were especially
meaningful to the person being celebrated that should be read?
Are there any special rituals or ceremonies that should be included?
What are the significant milestones in the person’s life that should be
remembered?
Are there funny, interesting or compelling stories that should be shared?
What is the tone that you would like to set for the service?
6) I will craft a personal eulogy or ceremony that includes music, readings, and
appropriate symbols or rituals for your review. The script will be highly
personalized as a result of time spent with me and on the interview
questions.
7) The script will be sent to the client to review and changes and revisions will
be made until the final version is approved.
8) I will be on site as designated 60 minutes prior to the service and will
conduct the service in a professional, prepared and appropriate manner.
9) Following the service, the client will receive a keepsake copy of the
ceremony.
Other Types of Ceremonies
(All follow the process described above)
Living Life Celebration
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. –
Oprah Winfrey
A Living Life Celebration celebrates a person who is still alive and is a beautiful
expression of love and community for someone who has been diagnosed with a lifethreatening illness, or for a senior who wishes to celebrate a long and wonderful life.
A Living Life Celebration is a memorialization of person who is alive. These very
special celebrations are delightful and memorable occasions that will remain as
loving testimony to a life well-lived. I will present your family with a beautiful copy
of the ceremony as a keepsake.
Pet Memorials
"If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals
are better off than a lot of humans."(James Herriot)
The loss of a beloved pet triggers real grief that needs to be recognized, expressed,
and supported. Honoring the importance of your animal to the family, sharing
stories about good times with the pet and saying goodbye with the support of family
and friends can be very helpful. For children, it is an opportunity to teach important
lessons about how to handle loss and sadness. I will present your family with a
beautiful copy of the ceremony as a keepsake.
Newborn Welcome
Do not say, 'It is morning,' and dismiss it with a name of yesterday. See it for the first
time as a newborn child that has no name. Rabindranath Tagore
A welcoming ceremony is a unique occasion for everyone to feel involved as they
offer their love and support for your child's future development. All over the world
babies and children are welcomed with ceremonies — simple and elaborate. What
are the feelings, beliefs, hopes and ideals that you’d like to share with your friends
and family in celebration of your child? Maybe you want to make promises, give
gifts, share family stories, honor grandparents, establish guide parents, or joyously
and formally name the baby. We will weave personally meaningful spiritual or
cultural traditions with newly created rituals that resonate with the family you are
becoming as you welcome your child.
I will guide you in choosing rituals, readings, symbols and music to fulfill your ideals
and vision for your ceremony. I will help you create a ceremony that reflects the
beliefs and traditions you find important. We can borrow freely from the rich
customs around the world. You don't need to belong to a particular culture or
religion for its rituals to have meaning. Such rituals have been performed for
hundreds or thousands of years because they resonate with universal truths. After
the event, I will present your family with a beautiful copy of the ceremony as a
keepsake.
Adoption Ceremonies
He who can reach a child’s heart can reach the worlds heart. Rudyard Kipling
Through a personalized ceremony we will honor the unique journey of your child
into his or her forever family, and honor the significance of each member of the
adoption triad.
A welcoming ceremony is a unique occasion for everyone to feel involved as they
offer their love and support for your child's future development. An adoption
ceremony may help new parents proclaim their new status as a family and accept
the mantle of parenthood. For some of your guests, your child’s ceremony may be
their first experience with adoption. We will let it serve as a beacon to others of the
importance of adoption. After the event, I will present your family with a beautiful
copy of the ceremony as a keepsake.
Coming of Age
“Where should I go?" -Alice. "That depends on where you want to end up." Cheshire
Cat.” Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass
A Coming of Age Ceremony celebrates the rite of passage into adulthood, is
frequently done during early teen years. There are countless reasons to celebrate
our children and their passages. Confirmation, Bat mitzvah or Bar mitzvah is typical
in faith traditions. Sweet sixteen, graduation or a marking of a major achievement
are also worthy of acknowledgement and celebration in a mindful way. These
ceremonies can be both joyous and profound as they welcome young people into the
world of adulthood, and allow the passing on of knowledge and wisdom from one
generation to the next as he or she steps forward into their adult lives with spirit,
courage and a growing sense of purpose.
When we attend to our transitions with clarity and respect, we acknowledge our
power to set intentions about how we choose to be in the world. Plus, ceremony is
fun! We can create more conscious, joyous and abundant connections when we
share the meaning of our life's changes I will present your family with a beautiful
copy of the ceremony as a keepsake.
Housewarmings / Home Blessings
May the roof above us never fall in
And may we good companions beneath it never fall out.
~Irish Blessing
Few things bring deeper satisfaction that knowing we are at home. Contemplating
what home means to you, learning the history of the dwelling, symbolically
cleansing the space, clarifying intentions and hopes for your life in this new home —
all these ideas can be woven into a ceremony that honors and celebrates this
experience. Lighting candles, creating a wish bouquet, planting a tree, sharing a
welcoming cake or drink, or adorning and marking the threshold are just some of
the possible elements for a new home ceremony. We’ll tell your story and invite
your community to join you in blessing your new home, weaving connections and
inviting love, kindness and compassion into each room. I will present your family
with a beautiful copy of the ceremony as a keepsake.
Marriage and Commitment Ceremonies Your Way:
A Questionnaire for Couples
The interview questionnaire will serve as the basis of your wedding or commitment
ceremony. Your answers to these questions will influence and guide the ceremony
script, tell your love story, direct any rituals or sacraments to be incorporated,
recognize any special people who should be honored, and may influence everything
from the invitations, the flowers and the celebration to follow the ceremony.
Each member of the couple will be asked to complete his or her own questionnaire.
Then a time will be arranged with me to share and discuss your answers. If you
have a few words or thoughts that you would like to save as a surprise for your
significant other, simply let me know and that will be handled separately.
Couples are encouraged to delve deeply into their stories and speak from the heart.
What makes your union special? What are the little things you partner does to make
you joyful? What elements of your background or history would you like to include
in the ceremony? Do you wish to incorporate any ritual or sacrament? The
questionnaire provides a means to define the unique magic of your relationship and
how best to share that with your guests on your special day. Think of the
questionnaire as a journal – not a college term paper. And by the way, don’t worry
about punctuation or grammar. Simply share your stories.
The questionnaire is divided into the following sections briefly described below.
Like your ceremony, it is a spiraling circle that first encompasses everyone who will
attend your wedding, then addresses your immediate families, and finally focuses on
you and your relationship.
Basic Logistics
Basic but critical, the logistics sections includes date, time and location; along with
wedding attendants; family members to be recognized and so on.
Creating Your Ceremony
This is a broad-strokes sketch of the ceremony you envision. You may begin with
only general ideas. Perhaps, for example, you would like to include one or two
traditional rituals such as breaking the glass in the Jewish tradition, lighting a unity
candle in the Christian tradition, and jumping the broom in the
African American tradition . You may have a poem or a piece of literature that you
would like to incorporate. If your ideas are a bit vague, your questionnaire will help
me develop a ceremony that is right for you.
If you are a couple with very definite plans for your special day, the questionnaire
provides the opportunity to organize the details.
In either case, you will be asked to consider what you wish for your families and
friends to experience at the ceremony so they, too, can be incorporated not just as
observers but as an integral part of the day.
Your Background and Families
This portion of the questionnaire focuses on your cultural or religious backgrounds
if applicable, your family and what they mean to you and how you were raised as
children. This is your opportunity to speak of your love and gratitude for them or to
incorporate a simple story of your childhood years.
This section of the questionnaire also deals with any sensitive matters that need to
be considered. Tricky family dynamics (divorced parents, stepparents), religious
rituals and traditions may present challenges that, if dealt with before the ceremony,
can be mitigated and handled with care at the ceremony. With enough love and
understanding, an amicable solution can be developed.
Your Relationship
This is the best part of the questionnaire – the reason it exists at all. All these
questions focus on your love for each other, your love story, why you chose one
another above all others, what you love about your partner, how he or she has
changed your life. What has made you laugh? What experiences led you to decide to
unite?
When you meet with me, be sure to let him know separately if you wish a particular
tribute to be a surprise for the other. This is the stuff that makes for stardust!
About You
In this section, you will focus just on you. What you enjoy doing, what inspire you,
whom you admire, your plans for the future. As you peruse these questions, you
may wonder why this is included. These answers, in fact, provide great insight into
what you bring to the relationship. Your may include everything from a favorite
hobby, the motto by which you live and insight into your deepest soul.
I will use the answers to paint your portrait in words. It will help him to speak your
language and to address two things: What is it about this couple that is
inspirational? And how can I best inspire them? Then, attuned to their magic, I
reflect that essence back to them and share it with all present at the ceremony.
When You’re Done
Give your questionnaire me. If you wish, you may include a basic structure for you
wedding. I will get to know you a little better from your written comments and will
weave some of them into parts of the service. You may decide to write portions or
the entire ceremony on your own. You may also wish to have someone close to you
say a few words based on your questionnaire responses.
When a couple does not wish to answer the questionnaire, I ask both the bride and
groom to simply write me a short paragraph about their feelings for each other. I
instruct them not to show one another what they have written. Then, at the
appropriate time in the ceremony I read them aloud.
Don’t be shy about asking for suggestions! This is part of my role.
As a Life Cycle Celebrant, I create the ceremony your way!