Matthew Miltenberg
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
mmiltenb@columbia.k12.mo.us
“I loved it…after the workshop I felt I knew my
story and how to tell it…” – Callie
Matthew Miltenberg
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
mmiltenb@columbia.k12.mo.us
Introduction
Overview:
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Rock Bridge High School:
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6 Counselors in Grade Level Teams
~1800 Students, approx 25% F/R L
Average ACT Score: 25.0
Very little focus on personal narrative
○ College req’s
○ Studies Courses
 Goal: Increase skills, Scholarship applications, career/major
counseling tool
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Structure of the workshop
“Before the workshop, I just felt loss…I didn’t know what to
write about or how to do it…” – Marie
Another perspective
 The counselors perspective; What I know and what I don’t.
 Partner up:
 What are your greatest fears or worries when it comes to
writing college essays?
 Do you think there are any topics colleges do/don’t not want
to read about?
 Just how important do you think the college essay is?
 Why do colleges or scholarships ask for an essay?
 What is a Match-Based College? How does that differ?
 What do American colleges look for? (in order)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
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Grades
Rigor of Coursework, School
Test Scores
Essays*
Recommendations- Teacher and/or Counselor
Activities – consistency, development, leadership, and initiative
Special skills, talents, and passions
“It’s not a substitute for a rigorous curriculum, good grades, and
evidence that you’re going to do well”
-Barmak Nassirian, Associate Director
American Assoc of Collegiate Registrars
and Admissions officers
Opportunity is knocking
 Essay: Highest ranked non academic factor
 The last thing you have absolute control
over (Sorry Mom!)
 Subject is well known: You!
 Back to why colleges use them:
 Understand students beyond grades and
scores
 Provide outlet to show dedication,
motivation, and chutzpah
 A venue for displaying passion
 A way to explain distinctive characteristics
or circumstances
-Mark Steinleage, St. Louis University
Recheck the list
1.
Grades
2.
Rigor of
Coursework,
School
3.
Test Scores
4.
Essays*
5.
Recommendati
ons- Teacher
and/or
Counselor
6.
Activities –
7.
Special skills,
 Disclaimer on me as a big picture and topic guy
 Use your voice …and always make it 1st person. – Yes you can say “I”
 Vocab: Ditch the Thesaurus.
 Stanford Study 2007: Those who use complicated language in college essays are
generally viewed as less intelligent than those who choose simple and concise
words.
 Use a writing style appropriate for your topic
 No one wants to read the uncomfortably humorous essay about your Grandma’s
funeral
 Maintain active voice, and powerful verbs – Create movement
 Keep it focused and Cut to the chase – by the time you get to details you’ll run
out of space
 Online isn’t email or text
 Evidence, details, and proof are the key to vividness, not words
 Edit, Edit, Edit;
 chip away at the rock until you find the diamond
 Promoting a vested interest on the side of the college
 Telling powerful, personal, unique stories
 Do NOT write about what you think the admissions office
wants to hear –
 The myth of the busy college essay reader – True & False
 Scope, Focus & Specificity:
 The Room vs. The Chair, the Season vs. the Play
 Packaging:
 The message of your essay and it’s place in your application
 NOT a narrated resume..the resume is already there!
 Two-Thirds Rule: Remember to make it about you!
 The college is accepting you – not the experience, not the
person you look up to, or the book you write about.
Outline the workload
1.
Develop a master chart–
1.
Application deadlines, requirements
Core essays
Supplemental essays
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2.
3.
Perfect a detailed resume
Brainstorm about yourself –
study yourself like a topic in class -
1.
1.
4.
5.
6.
Find your overlaps and color code them!
Start with the highest college choice that requires the most essays!
Use resume and thinking to come up with the themes of who you are
Read and work with Samples
Pick your topics and start your shorts
Draft, Draft, Draft
Know the
questions
Know
examples
*Know
YOU*
 Common App: www.commonapp.org
 One Long, One Short, one additional info, and a place for activities
 Short:
 Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the
space below (150 words)
 Long (250 words Min) (DO NOT CUSTOMIZE!)
 Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical
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dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its
importance to you.
Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that
influence (ON YOU)
Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (art, music,
science etc) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence
A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much
to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that
illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community or an
encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
Topic of your choice
 Additional Information:
 If there is any additional info you’d like to provide regarding special circumstances,
additional qualifications, etc please do so in the space below
Also….The “Why Us” Essay and the “talk about this essay” – Keep it on you.
SHORT ANSWER (50-100 words) Which aspects of Tufts’ curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application?
II. REQUIRED SHORT ESSAYS (200 words)

1. There is a Quaker saying: “Let your life speak.” Describe the environment in which you were raised—your family, home, neighborhood or community—
and how it influenced the person you are today. (200-250 words)
2. For some, it’s politics or sports or reading. For others it may be researching solar power fuel cells or arranging hip hop mash-ups. What makes you tick?
(200-250 words)
III. OPTIONAL ESSAY (250-400 words)
1. In Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia--his play about the relationship between past and present and the certainty of knowledge--one of the characters says, “It’s the
wanting to know that makes us matter.” What would you like to know?
2. The human narrative is replete with memorable characters like America’s Paul Revere, ancient Greece’s Perseus or the Fox Spirits of East Asia. Imagine
one of humanity’s storied figures is alive and working in the world today. Why does Joan of Arc have a desk job? Would Shiva be a general or a diplomat? Is
Chewbacca trapped in a zoo? In short, connect your chosen figure to the contemporary world and imagine the life he/she/it might lead.
3. Finish one of the following thoughts: a) The last time I... b) The first time I…
c) Never again will I…
4. It’s been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can cause a typhoon halfway around the world. History is filled with such
lynchpins – small events or decisions that have huge effects on the future. Make your own change somewhere in history and show us the effects on the
world.
5. Thomas Edison liked to tinker. “A good imagination and a pile of junk” were his inspirations. What inspires your original thinking? How might you apply
your ingenuity to tackle a vexing problem that confronts us?
6A) Use an 8.5 x 11 inch sheet of paper to create something. Blueprint your future home, create a new product, draw a comic strip, design a costume or a
theatrical set, compose a score or do something entirely different. Let your imagination wander.
-OR6B.) Prepare a one-minute video that says something about you. Upload it to an easily accessible website (like YouTube, but we recommend using a privacy
setting) and give us the URL and access code. What you do or say is totally up to you. (Unfortunately, we are unable to watch videos that come in any form
other than a URL link.)
 Tufts: 14 Essays We Loved -
http://admissions.tufts.edu/?pid=195
 Connecticut College:
www.concoll.edu/admission/essays.htm
 Johns Hopkins University
 www.Jhu.edu/admis/apply/essays.html
 “x” University – successful essays from a highly selective
college(Handed)
 English Teachers
 Personal Narratives by Maxine Hong Kingston, Joan
Didion, John Updike, Jonathon Swift, Henry Thoreau etc.
 A sneak peak to next session…
 Model developed by Dr. Rebecca Joseph-Cal State, LA
 Into: Pull me right into the action or the scene… think
about being 70 minutes into a movie
 Through: Once you got me, fill out the rest of the
picture, take me through the scene, show me, show
me, show me
 Beyond: Show yourself, pull it to a bigger picture and
deeper meaning
 You’ve already developed a detailed, complete resume.
 STEP 2: Use that resume- What core qualities do you have to
offer a college?
Activities, academic talents and passions, or other interesting
family or community stories
Thinking of your first list, come up with at least five adjectives
to describe what you offer a match college
1.
2.
1.
3.
(ie. Empathetic, resilient, determined, collaborative, creative,
insightful)
Come up with at least five qualities a match college must have
for you
(real campus, Greek life, travel abroad, internships, small classes)
COLLEGE ESSAY WORKSHOP NIGHT TWO

Revisit Brainstorming Ideas from Last Time
Remember Into-Through-Beyond
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Questions (rapid fire)
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I lose all track of time when you am…..?
I’ll never forget the time…?
The hardest thing I ever had to do was…
What 5 words encapsulate you?
What are three of your most meaningful memories?
What is the biggest thing you’ve overcome?
The moment you are most proudest of is….?
What’s something about yourself you refuse to change?
What are your top 3 values?
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What is a time you remembered having to use this value?
Did you ever have a moment that totally changed your perspective?
What would your best friend say is your greatest strength?
What’s something you wish more people realized about you?
One thing I always remind myself of when things are tough is…
NIGHT TWO – GETTING OUR HANDS DIRTY
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JUST GET STARTED:
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Free writing/Short Writing:
NOW GET CONFIDENT:

Coffee House Discussions:
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Share what you’re writing or thinking about
Spontaneous verbal feedback (brief but couldn’t help it)
Written feedback: slips of paper from everyone
Amazing moments!
Siyuan and Room 11
Azeem and the Handwriting Manifesto
The beauty and personal depth of the every day moments
Night 3: Drafting Party
O Getting to work… With Snacks!
O Busy, overscheduled lives
O Overstimulation and distractions
O Need to be social and keep having feedback
O Remember – they don’t get a lot of practice
with this.
Drafting Itself
O Reminder: These stories are personal: Separating
critique of writing from critique of self!
O Critical to provide an example: an essay that is really
good, and still can be torn up a lot.
O Ie. Guacacomole essay
O There won’t be a finish line, a rubric, or a point total –
it’s a story and they need to arrive at the point they
feel tells it best…but help always helps!
O Take away: Revision is okay… Save copies as you go!
Session 4:
Share, Survey, Celebrate
• Brown Bag lunch or Pizza
• Shared stories
• Surveyed students with questionnaire
“I feel really good about this now… “ – Abby S
“It was fun to hear everyone’s stories…” – Abby H
“This is going to make it so much easier to apply for
scholarships…” Haley
Ques on 2
Ques on 1:
5
Right now, how would you rate your knolwedge level about
what makes a good college or scholarship essay?
4.25
4
3
Right now, how would you rate your knowledge of how the
essay is used in the college applica on process?
5
4.5
4
3
2.83
2
2
1
1
0
1
2.83
0
2
1
+ 28% Change
Ques on 3
4.25
2.92
1
2
Ques on 5:
How confid
e
nt are you in your ability to write a
successful college or scholarship essay?
5
4
3
2
1
0
+33% Change
How sa sfied are you with the essays
you have wri en...?
5
4
3
2
1
0
2
3.5
2.42
1
+27% Change
2
+22% Change
Have you wri en an essay for a college or scholarship applica on?
Pre: 47%
Post: 100%
Comments and/or Questions?
Matthew Miltenberg
Rock Bridge High School
mmiltenb@columbia.k12.mo.us