Since Tony is still only six years old, how is
“the time of youth” fleeing?
To answer this question, you need to
explain what has caused Antonio to mature
and the effect of that experience (how you
can tell that Antonio has matured).
This is a cause and effect paragraph.
* Cause: two specific reasons w/ textual
evidence as proof
* Effect: two specific effects w/ textual
evidence as proof
* You must have a clear topic sentence.
* Statement / Point--clear statements (your ideas)
* Proof /Evidence—Give relevant proof (quotes, examples) for each
statement
* Analysis—Don’t just repeat what you’ve already said. Make a
connection to the topic, to the point you’re trying to make, to a deeper
point.
Conclude the paragraph with a sentence that wraps up without
repetition.
You must have a
clear topic
sentence.
• summarizes the main* idea
• captures the intent of the entire paragraph.
Must be general enough to express the
paragraph’s overall subject, but should be
specific enough that the reader can understand
the paragraph’s main subject and point.
Topic sentence: student samples:

Although the protagonist, Antonio
Marez, of Bless Me, Ultima is only six,
he is mature well beyond his years.

In “Bless Me, Ultima”; Antonio Marez is
beginning to discover his maturity.

Antonio is a seven year old boy, who is
experiencing things, a normal seven
year old would not.
Topic sentence: student samples:

Antonio Marez, the boy who discovers
himself and his family’s wishes at the
age of six.

Throughout the first three chapters of
Bless Me, Ultima there is a slight change
in Tony.

In “Bless Me Ultima” our main character
Antonio has been effected by certain
events that have prematurely
entrenched him in the adult world.
Topic sentence: students samples

Throughout the novel “Bless Me, Ultima” the
main character, Antonio, slowly loses his
youth because of two specific events that
happen in his life.

“The day dawned, and already the time of
youth was fleeing the house…” Tony says this
in the book Bless Me, Ultima
Statement, Proof, Analysis, Transitions:

Statement / Point: make a clear statement (your
idea, your reason, your words)

Proof / Evidence: provide proof with a relevant
example or quote. It is relevant if it supports your
topic sentence. Use transition, “For example,” “For
instance,” etc.

Analysis: Explain the significance of the example;
make a connection to the topic; develop the topic;
be persuasive—stay on topic and don’t waste words.
My Example:
(statement) One event that causes Tony to mature is
his encounter with Lupito on the night of Lupito’s
death. (proof) For example, Tony is on the river bank,
close enough to see that Lupito is not aiming his gun at
the men on the bridge. Tony shouts “No, no” but he
says, “it was too late for anything. The frightened men
responded by aiming their guns over the side of the
bridge” and shooting (22). (analysis) The incident is
traumatic for Tony because he realizes that Lupito is
not a danger to the men on the bridge when they all
fire at Lupito. Thus he witnesses men whom he knows
and respects, including his father, killing another
human being without just cause.
Student Samples:
This is a bizarre trait for any child, let alone a six
year old, but Antonio has undergone this change due
to the fact that his innocence was snatched away
from him at such a young age. There are not many
events or things that can take a child’s innocence,
but Antonio has had to experience plenty of them,
such as, watching the murder of a man which is
shown in the quotes “I saw Lupito lifted off his feet
and hurled backwards by bullets” (22) and “He
looked up at me and is face was bathed in water
and flowing, hot blood” (22).
Student Sample:
The first time I saw a change of maturity in Tony
was when he was standing under the bridge,
watching the scene with Lupito. Tony is already
quite mature for his age, but I believe that Tony
has matured greatly from this incident.
Antonio says “ A priest could have saved Lupito.
Oh why did my mother dream for me to be a
priest?” (23). This quote is a perfect example
of what causes Antonio to mature. To rewind a
bit, Lupito is the man who kills Chavez’ brother.
The death of Lupito is witnessed by Antonio.
Student Sample:
Moreover, when Antonio talks of his mother
he always describes how she expects him to
be a Priest. Furthermore he was brought up
to be very responsible so that he is respected
enough to be a priest. Plus I believe this
responsibility also shapes him to be more
mature than other kids his age.
Student Sample:
Antonio sees Lipido get killed by men he knows, which cause him
to mature. Antonio has followed his father to the bridge where
Lupido is hiding. He is on the bank when he sees Lupido coming
towards him. After he arrives he is “lifted off his feet and hurled
backward by the bullets” (22). Antonio is very close to Lupido
when his is happening. This is traumatic for anyone, but for a
boy, who is seven, this is mind-shattering. Anthony could not be
blamed, if he is scarred for the rest of his life because of this
event. Because of this event, Antonio is forced to mature, so he
understands why his father, and his friends did this. In order to
understand, Antonio goes to Ultima for advice. Ultima explains to
Antonio that what he witnessed is “the ways of men” (25.
:
Student Samples:
Some ways that describe how time was
fleeing, was Tony had become wiser and
more mature. An example of Tony gaining
wisdom comes from the passage, “The war
had taken my brothers away and so the
school would take me away. (32). Tony
wishes he could stay near his mom forever,
but understands that cannot happen. He
understand that he must go to school and
learn. Just like he must leave to go to
school, his brothers have left to go fight the
war.
USE TRANSITIONS SO THE
READER CAN FOLLOW YOUR
IDEAS
NEW IDEA: ALSO
FURTHERMORE
MOREOVER
QUOTE: FOR EXAMPLE
ANOTHER REASON IS
FOR INSTANCE
AN EXAMPLE IS
DO NOT WRITE YOUR ESSAY LAST MINUTE!
YOU SHOULD
•
RUN YOUR GRAMMAR /SPELL CHECK BUT BE AWARE THAT THE COMPUTER
MAKES MISTAKES
•
READ ESSAY ALOUD AND LISTEN FOR AWKWARD PHRASING
•
HAVE SOMEONE ELSE READ YOUR ESSAY.
•
REVISE EACH SET OF STATEMENT-PROOF-ANALYSIS SO THAT IT IS CLEAR
•
MAKE SURE YOUR QUOTE IS RELEVANT & SUPPORTS THE POINT YOU’RE
MAKING, NOT SOME INCIDENTAL IDEA
•
MAKE SURE YOUR IDEAS ARE EXPRESSED IN DIRECT, CLEAR AND FORMAL
LANGUAGE
•
Avoid using flowery language or big words that obscure the meaning—eschew
obfuscation!
Take time to write well so you can be proud of your
work.
DUE DATE FOR FINAL “YOUTH IS
FLEEING” PARAGRAPH ESSAY:
TUESDAY,
SEPTEMBER 29, 2015