Helping Parents Nurture Self-Reliance and Cooperation in Children with ADHD
Craig B. Wiener Ed.D.
Private Practice/ University of Massachusetts Medical School/ Family Health Center of Worcester
Abstract
It is now possible for concerned parents to treat their
child’s attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
without relying on medication. This unique approach
strengthens self-reliance and cooperation and helps
parents reduce their child’s inattention, hyperactivity,
and impulsivity.
Parents learn to interrelate in positive ways and identify
the five main ways in which they may have unwittingly
reinforced ADHD behavior in the past. Far from
encouraging parents to strictly manage their child, this
approach promotes independence in kids so that less
stringency and surveillance is necessary.
The therapy works on the premise that ADHD behaviors
increase in frequency due to reinforcement. Close
examination of the child’s day-to-day patterning shows
that the behaviors occur in particular situations and
repeat in relation to what happens.
Parents learn to alter the consequences that increase the
incidence of ADHD behavior, and promote cooperation
and achievement by phrasing their requests in specific
ways. The child’s preference is acknowledged so that
working together is an attractive option. Coercion is kept
to a minimum.
Ten parenting principles help to regulate emotions and
develop the child’s executive functioning. The child
learns the value of being knowledgeable without the
motivation of punishment or gift rewards so that
dependency on contingency management does not occur.
The recommended strategies foster caring relationships,
resiliency, and autonomy for children with ADHD.
A Learning Paradigm For ADHD
Five Consequences that Reinforce ADHD Behavior
Too many false positives and false negatives
(2) Brain biology is differentCorrelated data not causal data
(3) Medicine worksTreatment does not identify etiology
(4) ADHD is associated with functional delayNo diagnostic markers
RESEARCH POSTER PRESENTATION DESIGN © 2012
www.PosterPresentations.com
Based on Medication and Stringency
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Avoidance
Attention
Accommodation
Acquisition
Antagonism
Shortcomings
•Traditional methods do not
nurture self-discipline
• ADHD Drugs:
• 60%-80% of children and teens
It’s first in line for scheduled trips to the movies
but unpleasant appointments are often missed
–Your child is more likely to
cooperate when you are not
there
With coercion the child may
learn:
evasion/submission/anxiety/minimal
conformity/retaliation/selfishness
rigidity/domination/maneuvering
procrastination/withholding/reliance
When Nurturing Self-Reliance and
Cooperation
• “I haven’t been getting enough
time on the computer. Let’s
figure out a way to take turns.”
When does ADHD coping occur?
Situations associated with loss, restriction, and failure
•Become aware of past successes in similar situations
•Resolve problems that disrupt their relationship
•Function adequately without parental involvement
When is ADHD unlikely?
Initiated and Enjoyed Activity
• It can take many trials to learn a
new behavior
Intervention Develops
•
•
•
•
•
Utilizes “Evidenced Based”
Techniques
•Facilitate goal-achievement
Latham, Erez & Locke, 1988; Locke & Latham, 2002
•Stop avoidance behaviors
•Nurture positive relationships,
resiliency, and empathy
Self-Management
Compromising
Sharing
Turn taking
And consistent
routines
The debate is not about data
• It is about the interpretation of data
and ADHD empiricism may be
understood within a learning paradigm
–Biology may change the
probability of learning
ADHD, but it does not
cause ADHD
Horvath & Bedi, 2002; Martin, Garske, & Davis, 2000; Henry, Schacht, & Strupp, 1986, 1990; Brooks & Goldstein, 2001)
5. Suspend judgment
“This report card is
terrible.”
“How do you feel about this
report card?”
“What do you like about it?”
“Is there anything you want
to change?”
6. Say it positively
• Negative:
“You can’t have snacks before dinner.”
• Positive:
“Let’s keep our
appetites. We can eat
together real soon.”
8. Establish “buy in”
“You have to read the directions.”
•Explore complications that might be encountered
–Learn to
consider
multiple
perspectives
(Ehrenreich et al. 2007)
• He is more likely to do his part.
•Recognize the pros and cons of particular behaviors
Hyperactivity occurs when parents are on the phone
but not if bedtime is extended while the parent talks
4. Be patient
Parents help the child:
•Identify positive alternative actions
Children and parents
–compassion
develops
3. Take steps to address and
resolve problems
7. Treat your child as competent
to succeed.
Distractibility prevails when writing a “thank you” note
but not when writing a Christmas list
• “I know you’re angry, but I can
hear you better if you talk
quietly.”
•And rarely yield longer-term
results
• Less hyperactive and impulsive
• Better focus
• And less disruptive at home and school
• “However, there is no good
evidence showing those benefits
last for longer than two years.”
Blurting occurs when vying for attention or provoking
but not when there could be incrimination
2. Stay calm
1. Use coercion as a last resort
Consumer Reports
Conclusions
Ten Parenting Principles
Key Benefits: Ease of Use and Rapid Results
The Behaviors Are Situational and Have Psychological Meaning
The Shortfalls of Biological Determinism
(1) ADHD is caused by genetics-
Traditional Intervention
• “How c “How can you find out what
to do?
to do?”
9. Assert yourself
• “I’m happy to keep buying these
snacks if we figure out a way to
share them.”
10. Foster Independence
• For example: Instead of ordering
your child’s meal at a restaurant,
encourage him to order his own
meal.
Works Cited
Brooks, R. & Goldstein, S. (2001). Raising Resilient Children. New York. McGraw Hill.
Ehrenreich, J. T., Buzzella, B. A., & Barlow, D. H. (2007). General principles of the
treatment of emotional disorders across the lifespan. In S. G. Hoffman
& J. Weinberger (Eds.), The Art and Science of Psychotherapy. New York:
Routledge. 191–210.
Freud, S. (1935). A General Theory of Psychoanalysis. Simon and Schuster.
Henry, W. P. Schacht, T. E., & Strupp, H. H. (1986). Structural analysis of social behavior:
Application to a study of interpersonal process in differential
psychotherapeutic outcomes. Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology. 54: 27-31.
Horvath, A. O., & Bedi, R.P. (2002) The alliance. In J. C. Norcross (Ed.), Psychotherapy
relationships that work: Therapist contributions and responsiveness to
patients. New York: Oxford University. 37-69.
Latham, G., Erez, M & Locke, E. (1988). “Resolving scientific disputes by the joint design
of crucial experiments by antagonists: application to the Erez-Latham
dispute regarding participation in goal setting”. Journal of Applied
Psychology 73: 753–72.
Locke, E. A., and G. P. Latham. (2002). “Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal
Setting and Task Motivation.” American Psychologist. September: 705–
17.
Martin, D. J., Garske, J. P., & Davis M. K. (2000). Relation of the therapeutic alliance with
outcome and other variables: A meta-analytic review. Journal of
Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 68: 438-450.
Wiener, C. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A
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Wiener, C. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A
Less Medicinal More Collaborative Intervention. (2007). Lanham, MD:
University Press of America.
Wiener, C. Parenting Your Child with ADHD: A No-Nonsense Guide for Nurturing SelfReliance and Cooperation. (2012). New Harbinger Publications.
Craig Wiener, Ed.D.
508-756-4825
48 Cedar St.
Worcester, MA 01609
www.craigwiener.com