ESSAY WORKSHOP #1
Personal Narrative Essay
Common Core Standards: W.3a-e Write narratives to develop real or imaginative experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and
well-structured event sequences. W.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and
audience. W.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach. L.2 Demonstrate command of the
conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. L.2c Spell correctly.
Your life is a unique series of stories! Each story reveals something about you and the events that make up your life. When you write
about yourself, you gain a deeper understanding of why certain experiences are important to you and your development. In this writing
workshop, you will write a personal narrative that describes a memorable event from your past.
Writing Prompt
Write with a Purpose in Mind
Common Core Traits
Write a personal narrative essay in which you describe a meaningful
experience in your life. You must narrate the events of the experience
and then reflect on why it was meaningful. Be sure to keep in mind that
you are writing for a specific audience (in this case, your classmates and
teacher)
1.Idea Development
-focuses on a meaningful experiences
-uses narrative techniques such as dialogue and description
-establishes and reflects on the significance of the experience
-provides a conclusion that follows from the experience
Idea Starters
2. Idea Organization
-A memorable event from childhood
-A challenge you overcame and learned from
-An accomplishment you are most proud of
The Basics
Below are some common purposes, audiences, and formats for narrative
writing
PURPOSES
AUDIENCES
FORMATS
-presents a logical sequence of events (plot)
- utilizes effective pacing strategies
3. Language and Grammar Conventions
-establishes and maintains a first-person perspective/point of view
-utilizes precise words and sensory language
-provides diverse sentence structure with compound sentences
- uses correct grammar, mechanics, and spelling
-to describe a
meaningful
experience
-to better understand
yourself
-classmates and
teacher
-family members
-web users
-friends
-
-essay for class
-journal or diary
-blog
-documentary
-podcast
Planning and Prewriting
Common Core Standards: W.3a-e Write narratives to develop real or imaginative experiences or events using effective technique, well-chosen details, and
well-structured event sequences. W.5 Develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning.
Select a Story to Tell
Think over your life, recalling memorable or difficult experiences.
Create a timeline of peaks and valleys in your life, and include the
times that were very challenging and the times that were especially
happy. Choose a single experience that you want to write about.
Think About
-What are the most memorable experiences of my life?
-What have been the most difficult or challenging times of my life?
-What about myself do I want to share in this personal narrative
essay?
Consider Audience and Purpose
Think About
List the Events of Your Experience
A Visual: Outlining Process
As you reflect on the experience you will write about, don’t forget about
your purpose, which is to describe an important experience to your
audience. Always keep your audience in mind while writing. Consider
what type of language is most appropriate. For instance, a description of
an experiences aimed at parents will include different language than a
description of the same experiences that you write for a group of your
peers.
You will use a first-person point of view to tell your story because it is
your story. When you start planning, focus on the single experience
you will write about. Then, develop an outline of the events to help you
create a seamless progression from first to last.
Make notes of details that you can use later to describe the setting, the
people involved, and be sure to include a few lines of dialogue as well.
-Who is my target audience? Am I writing for more than one specific
audience?
-What do I want my readers to understand about me and my
experience?
-What kind of language will my readers/audience best comprehend and
be able to relate to?
Background info: fear of flying
News about a family trip to Ireland
trips on
that includes a flight
survival: subsequent
planes
Share Why the Experience is Significant
Reflect on why this event is significant or meaningful to you. Consider
what you learned from the event and how the experience changed you.
Visual
-Faced a fear successfully
-discovered why worrying isn’t helpful
-found your inner strength
-realized that fear is a normal emotion
Planning and Prewriting, continued.
Describing your experience
sound- creaks and banging;
children crying at take off
When you describe your experience, you will gain your
reader’s interest by utilizing sensory details when
describing details. Create a web organizer to record
details and sensory language that you can implement in
your writing that describes people, places, and events.
touch-scratchy
cloth seats; my
brother asleep
on my shoulder
on the
airplane
smell coffee and
gasoline
sight - tiny buildings
on teh ground;
clouds
Peer Review
Describe to a peer the purpose and audience for your personal narrative essay. Ask for recommendations concerning language appropriate for this
audience.
Develop your writing plan – Record a brief description of the experience you will write about. Next, use an organizational tool such as the one on
this page to help you record some crucial sensory language that you will use in the narrative to engage your readers. Keep the following tips in
mind as your list your sensory details:
-Think of the visual images that appear in your mind as you remember the experience
-Try to remember the sounds you heard during the experience. Silence is a sound!
-Try to recall specific smells or feelings during the experience. For instance, it may have been rainy, hot, cool, or humid.
-Focus on sensory language that will stress your overall impression of the event, making the event vivid for the audience and making its importance
obvious.
Drafting your Narrative
Common Core Standards: W.4 Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development, organization, and style are appropriate to task, purpose, and
audience. L.2 Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English punctuation.
Use the graphic organizer below to help you develop your essay!
Introduction
Body
Paragraphs
Conclusion
Paragraph
•Orient your audience by introcuding them to the people, places, and events your're writing about. Start your story with
engaging action, dialogue, or reaction.
•Provide background information to help the audience understand the experience.
• Sequence your events so that they build on one another and create a coherent whole.
•Use pacing to keep events and action moving in a fluid forward motion.
•Include precise words and phrases, describing details, and sentory language to vividly describe people, places, and events.
•Describe thoughts and feelings, and use realistic dialogue to develop characters and events.
•Narrate the resolution of the experience by sharing how the events ended.
•Explain why the experience is significant and important by relflecting on what you learned or how the experience changed you.
Grammar in Context: Punctuating Dialogue
Speech between people in a narrative is called dialogue. Dialogue requires special punctuation that signals to the audience that these words are spoken aloud.
Rule: Quotation Marks - Place quotation marks (“ “) around the exact
Example: “If we experience turbulence, relax and go with the flow.”
words that someone says
Rule: Comma – Use a comma inside the second quotation mark to separate
the quotation from its tag line. However, if the dialogue ends with a question
mark or exclamation point, do not use a comma
Example: “If we experience turbulence, relax and go with the flow,” one of
the cute, cheerful flight attendants said.
Example: “This is going to be a great trip!’ my brother whispered.
Your Turn: Develop a first draft of your personal narrative essay, following the
structure in the graphic organizer on the last page. As you compose your essay, be sure to include
some dialogue that you had with another person. Make sure you use proper punctuation!
Revising Your First Draft
As you revise your narrative, consider both the sequence and the sensory details (imagery) that make the people and places come to
life for your reader. When you’re revising your goal is to determine whether or not you’ve achieved your purpose and effectively
communicated your ideas to the intended audience.
Considerations:
Writing Tips:
Editing Strategies:
Does the narrative focus on a single event that
is explained through well-chosen details?
Underline each detail that is essential for the
reader’s to understand.
Does the narrative follow a well-structured
sequence of events?
Number the events as they happen in the
story
Add events as necessary to make the
experience clear for your audience. Delete
extra events and irrelevant details that are not
underlined.
Reorder events as needed so that they build on
one another for a seamless transition
Does the pacing keep the action moving?
Place an X next to the details or events that
slow down the narrative; Put a star next to the
details or events that speed up the action to
quickly.
Draw an arrow next to each sensory detail.
Is sensory language used to describe
characters and setting?
Do people speak through dialogue?
Is the significance of the experienced shared
through thoughts and feelings?
Bracket examples of dialogue
Highlight statements that describe thoughts
and feelings.
Revise or remove details that slow down the
pace. Add details where the action jumps too
quickly ahead.
Add sensory language. Include details that
appeal to a variety of senses.
Add dialogue where possible to engage
readers, reveal character traits, or show the
conflict.
Add specific thoughts and feelings that make
clear to your audience why this experience is
meaningful and important to you.
Peer Review
Trade your personal narrative essay with a partner in class. Or, you can read it aloud it your partner. A third option is to record yourself
reading your own essay on a personal cell phone or recorder, if a partner is unavailable to you. As you read or listen to your partner’s
essay, pay special attention to events and sensory language. Talk with your partner about whether you understand the events, people,
and the overall importance of the event. If your narrative is not flowing smoothly, use the editing strategies in the chart above to make
your writing more cohesive and interconnected.
Analyze a Student Draft
Common Core Standards: W5 Develop and strengthen writing by revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach, addressing what is most significant for
a specific purpose and audience. L.3 Use language to make effective choices for meaning and style.
Directions: Read the student draft below. Pay special attention to the comments on its strengths as wells as the recommendations for
improvement.
Facing My Fears: Taking A Trip in the Sky
By: Rosa Garcia, Chippewa High School
“A trip to New York City? For two weeks? Really, mom?” I said, a
fake grin plastered on my face. “That’s a really cool idea!” I felt my
stomach doing flips.
My two siblings danced with delight around the living room. “This
experience is going to be very valuable!” they shouted. My father smiled
with approval as well.
Comments
Rosa starts her essay with dialogue that contrasts with sensory language.
This technique will have the reader/audience wondering why Rosa isn’t really
excited about the trip.
Rosa includes dialogue and gestures to describe the other people
involved. Some of the dialogue needs to be revised so that it appears more
realistic.
I’m not the type to fear new things, but I’ve always avoided
airplanes. When I was a little girl, I saw a documentary on the most
horrific airplane crashes of all time. There were gruesome pictures of
debris and fires. The documentary included audio of people screaming
as the plane hurtled to the ground. I decided instantly that I would
never take an airplane ride.
The day my mother told us about the vacation, I looked up
information about New York City online. I also researched plane crashes
and my worst fears were confirmed. There were pages upon pages of
information about planes that had crashed over the years. Now, the
visuals were even more graphic. Once page had eye-witness accounts.
Another website included pictures that I could only stand to look at for a
second! Does anyone really get on a plane without anxiety? I asked
myself.
Rosa develops her narrative voice through background information,
thoughts, and feelings.
Learn How
Create Realistic Dialogue
In her second paragraph, Rosa includes dialogue from her siblings to draw the audience into the narrative. However, the dialogue
doesn’t really sound like something two kids would say. It is unrealistic. To create realistic dialogue, record as precisely as you can the
person’s words and manner of speaking. Does the person use very formal language or slang? When people talk in a personal narrative,
they should sound the way they do in real life.
Rosa’s Edited Paragraph #2
My two siblings did their special handshake. “This is going to be so
sick!” they shouted. Obviously, they were both totally into this idea of
visiting New York City. My father smiled with approval as well.
Rosa’s siblings use the slang word “sick” meaning awesome or really cool.
This is much more realistic dialogue.
Read on to see the rest of the Rosa’s essay with comments.
By the time I found myself in the air, I had my answer:
Everyone else did seem to travel without anxiety. Every other
passenger on the plane, including my family, was busy reading,
napping, or listening to music on their IPods. Meanwhile, I was
counting every bump, every jolt, and every strange sound the
airplane engine made. There was no doubt in my mind: the plane
was going down!
Moments later, the pilot came on over the speaker system.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are set for a smooth flight. The
weather between here and our final destination is perfect. So, sit
back, relax, and enjoy your flight. Drinks will be coming around
momentarily…” My anxiety was relieved a bit, and I sat a little
more comfortably in my seat. I took a deep breath. Soon, my
brother was asleep on my shoulder.
I woke up to the sound of the pilot advising us to take our
seats and prepare for landing. We were in New York! I had made
it! My brother said we are here!
Rick includes words and phrases throughout the narrative that signal a wellstructured sequence of events.
Notice that Rosa includes dialogue in this paragraph. Dialogue can help
engage the reader.
Be sure that when you include dialogue you use the correct punctuation.
During that flight, I faced my worst fear not just once, but
again on the way home. I learned that worry about an experience
can be far worse than the actual experience. I also found out I’m
a lot stronger than I thought I was. I also found out that it’s fine
to express fear, even to cry if I need to. By the end of that twoweek family vacation, I had a sincere smile on my face, and there
wasn’t anything fake about how happy I was. And my stomach
was calm.
Learn How
Rosa’s conclusion paragraph is very clear about the significance of the
experience. She uses some of the same details from the introduction paragraph
and connects the events in her narrative.
Use the Correct Punctuation for Dialogue
In the sentence below, Rosa provides her brother’s dialogue as they are landing in New York City. However, she fails to punctuate the
dialogue correctly because he leaves out quotation marks.
Rosa’s original sentence – My brother said we are here!
Rosa’s revision – My brother said, “We are here!”
More Feedback
Use the feedback from your peers and teacher as well as the two “Learn How lessons to properly edit and improve your writing.
Evaluate how well you have described the experience and addressed the audience and purpose by examining your events, details, and
techniques. Consider you use of dialogue, pacing, and sensory language. Be sure that you have created a vivid image and explained
the significance of the events.
Editing and Publishing
Common Core Standards: W.5 Strengthen writing by revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach. L.2 Demonstrate command of the conventions of
standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling. L.2c Spell correctly.
In the editing stage, you check your narrative to make sure it is free of grammar, usage, and punctuation errors. Also, you should
always reread your essay carefully to catch any spelling errors, even after doing a word processing spell-check. These kinds of errors
will distract your audience from focusing on the important events and encounters you describe.
Grammar in Context: Compound Sentences
To vary rhythm and emphasis, writers should avoid the same sentence
structure repeatedly. In most pieces of writing, you will find both simple and
compound sentences. Writers use coordinating conjunctions such as and, but,
or or to joining independent clauses of equal importance. The end result is a
compound sentence. Study the following compound sentences from Rosa’s
draft.
My anxiety was relieved a bit, and I sat a little more comfortably in my seat.
This sentence uses the coordinating conjunction and to connect two
independent thoughts into one compound sentence.
As Rosa continues to edit her narrative, she notices two sentences that could
be combined to form a compound sentence, making the thought flow better.
My two siblings did their special handshake, and shouted, “This is going to be
so sick!”
Rosa added the coordinating conjunction and to combine the two sentence
into one compound sentence.
Publish Your Writing: Now that you have edited your narrative, it’s time to share it with you audience. Here are some ideas for sharing:
 Send your narrative to a magazine or Web site that accepts narrative from unpublished writers.
 Publish your narrative in a blog, or turn it into a digital story to post online.
 Present your narrative as a speech for your classmates.
Proofread your narrative and correct any errors. Make sure that compound sentences use a comma and a coordinating conjunction to join
independent clauses. Finally, publish your narrative essay for your audience!
Scoring Rubric
Use the rubric below to evaluate and score your narrative essay.
SCORE
6
5
4
3
2
1
Common Core Traits
-Development: Skillfully conveys a real experience using well-chosen details; effectively uses dialogue and description;
concludes by reflecting on the significance of the experience
-Organization: Has a coherent sequence that builds to a strong conclusion; uses effective pacing
-Language: Consistently maintain first-person point of view; effectively uses compound sentences for variety; weaves in
sensory language; shows a strong command of conventions
-Development: Effectively conveys a real experience; mainly uses well-chosen details; ably uses dialogue and description;
reflects on the significance of the experience
-Organization: Has a coherent sequence that builds to a conclusion; uses mostly effective pacing
-Language: Maintains first-person point of view; varies sentence structure; includes sensory language; has few errors in
conventions
-Development: Conveys a real experience; uses some well-chosen details; could use more dialogue and description
-Organization: Includes some extraneous events, resulting in effective pacing
-Language: Mostly maintains first-person point of view; needs more sensory language; has a few errors in conventions
-Development: Conveys a real experience but it needs development; needs more details; needs more dialogue and
description
-Organization: Has a confusing sequence caused by extraneous events; has a lagging pace at times
-Language: Has a few lapses in first-person point of view; lacks sensory language; has some significant errors in
conventions
-Development: Conveys a real experience but does not develop it with details; lacks sufficient dialogue and description
-Organization: Includes too many events which distract the reader from the main event; lacks variety in sentence
structure; chopping pacing
-Language: Inconsistency in point of view; lacks variety in sentence structure; mostly lacks sensory language; has many
significant errors in conventions
-Development: Has no identifiable experience; provides few details; lacks dialogue or description
-Organization: Has no obvious organization or pacing
-Language: Never establishes a clear point of view, uses only simple sentences; lacks sensory language; has major
problems with conventions