Ch. 4 Listening
Listening vs. Hearing
• Hearing- the process in which sound waves
strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that
are transmitted to the brain
• Listening occurs when the brain
reconstructs these electrochemical impulses
into a representation of the original sound
that gives them meaning
The listening process involves
several stages
• Attending- paying attention to a certain
stimulus
• Understanding-when we make sense of the
message we heard
• Responding- when we give feedback to the
person who sent the message
• Remembering- what we actually remember
of the message that we heard
Are we good listeners?
• Studies show that people only remember
half of what we hear immediately after
hearing it (within two months half of the
half we remembered is also gone)
• Overall, we remember about 25% of what
we hear
• The residual message is what we remember
Important points to remember
• Listening is not a natural process
• Listening requires effort
• All listeners do not receive the same
messages
Faulty listening behaviors
• Psuedolistening- when someone appears to be
listening but in reality they are not
• Selective listening- only listen to what they want
to listen to
• Defensive listening-take innocent comments as
personal attacks
• Ambushing- listen carefully but only to collect
information to use against you and attack
Faulty listening cont…
• Insulated listening- forget right away what
they heard do not pay attention to the
message that was sent
• Insensitive listening- don’t receive others
messages clearly because they do not look
beneath the words being spoken only take at
face value
Faulty listening behaviors cont…
• Stage hogging- “conversational narcissists”
try to turn the topic to themselves instead of
showing interest in the speaker
Informational listening
• A listening approach to follow when you
want to understand another person.
• When goal is to clearly interpret message
sent by other person you are communicating
with
You may become a more
effective informational listener
by practicing the following seven
skills:
#1 Don’t argue or judge
prematurely
• Listen first
• Make sure you understand
• Then evaluate or argue, if you choose
#2 Separate the message from the
speaker
• Don’t shoot the messenger
• Don’t discount a message just based on who
is presenting it
#3 Be opportunistic
• Find some value in even the worst situations
• Even when you are stuck in a boring
conversation there might still be nuggets of
important information
#4 Look for key ideas
• Try to figure out what the main point of the
message is
#5 Ask questions
• Questioning is a very useful tool in
clarifying interpretations
• Ask questions in order to clarify your idea
of the sender’s message
#6 Paraphrase
• Restate what it is you think the message
was that the sender meant to send
• Than ask if you were correct in your
interpretation
• This leaves room for possible needed
clarification
#7 Take notes
• Notes provide an excellent backup to
memory
• Use when it is important that message is
remembered
Points that will help you take
effective notes:
• Don’t wait to long after the interaction to
write notes down
• Record only key ideas
• Develop a note-taking format
Critical listening
• Critical listening or evaluative listeningtakes place when one is judging the quality
of a message in order to decide whether to
accept it or reject it
There are many important points
to remember when critically
evaluating a message
• Listen to information before evaluating
• Evaluate speakers credibility
-is the speaker competent?
- is the speaker impartial/biased?
Examine the speaker’s evidence
and reasoning
1. Is the evidence recent enough?
2. Is enough evidence presented?
3. Is the evidence from a reliable source?
4. Can the evidence be interpreted in more
than one way?
Examine emotional appeals
• Are you being influenced only by emotion?
Empathic Listening
• Takes place when the overall goal is to build
a relationship or help the speaker solve a
problem
• Often used when others seek help for
personal dilemmas
• May also help you to become better
acquainted with others
Approaches of empathic listening
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Advising
Judging
Analyzing
Questioning
Supporting
Prompting
Paraphrasing
Advising
• Takes place when one tries to help by offering a
solution
• Before offering advice it is important that three
conditions are met:
1. You are confident that advice is correct
2. Ask yourself whether the person seeking your
advice seems willing to accept it
3. Be certain that the receiver won’t blame you if
the advice doesn’t work out
Judging
•
•
A judging response evaluates the sender’s
thoughts or behaviors in some way
Can be positive or negative
For best results when judging the
following conditions should
exist:
1. The person with problem should have
requested an evaluation from you
2. Your judgment is genuinely constructive
and not designed as a put down
Analyzing
•
The listener offers an interpretation of a
speaker’s message
There are many guidelines to
follow when analyzing a
message:
1. Offer your interpretation in a tentative way rather
than as absolute fact
2. Your analysis ought to have a reasonable chance
of being correct
3. Be sure other person will be receptive to your
analysis
4. Be sure that your motive for offering analysis is
truly to help the other person
Questioning
•
is a way to help others think and work through
their problems
The most effective questioning follows these
principles:
1. Don’t ask questions just to satisfy your own
curiosity
2. Be sure your questions won’t confuse or distract
the person you are trying to help
3. Don’t use questions to disguise your suggestions
or criticism
Supporting
•
Offering support for another dealing with
a problem may have a powerful effect
• When offering support:
1. Make sure your expression of support is
sincere
2. Be sure the other person can accept your
support
Prompting
• A more passive approach to helping others
solve problems
• Prompting involves using silences and brief
statements of encouragement to draw others
out, guiding them to solve their own
problems
Paraphrasing
•
Repeating what others said in your own
words and asking for clarification
When paraphrasing consider the
following:
1. Is the problem complex enough?
2. Do you have the necessary time and
concern?
3. Are you genuinely interested in helping
the other person?
4. Can you withhold judgment?
5. Is your paraphrasing in proportion to other
responses?
In conclusion…
• Listening is a complex process, but with
this knowledge and practice we all have the
ability to become more effective listeners