ANGER
PHYSIOLOGY
5. Amygdala blocks ‘slow’ thinking
3. Data also to cortex
4. Amygdala does quick threat assessment
2. Data to Amygdala
1. Sensory data to thalamus
6. ‘Unthinking’ response
The Amygdala
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Radar – constantly firing
Scanning for threats
Can’t stop it from firing
Responsible for ‘fight’ or ‘flight’
Triggers appropriate survival behaviour
Responds in .85 milliseconds
Fires 100x faster than ability to think
Effects on the Body
• Monitors threats ---- releases adrenalin
• Pupils dilate (gathering info) ------ laser focus
• Releases cortisol – creates stressful state
- fight, flight, freeze
• Sweaty palms, facial redness, veins stick out
The Amygdala
Effects on the Thinking Mind
• Can’t distinguish between perception
and reality
• Overpowers/hijacks rational thinking
• Lose logic
• Lose perspective
THEM
720 options
YOU
720 options
6 Marbles
120 options
5 Marbles
Common Ground
120 options
The Amygdala
How to Get Back Rational Self
1. Take deep breaths
- 1st shallow & hold
- 2nd mid & hold
- 3rd deep & hold
2. Count backwards from 97 by 3
3. Tap into Gratitude
- anchor yourself with something for which you are grateful
- appreciation for others despite circumstances
- pushes out cortisol & washes with feel good hormones
• universal emotion – we all have an amygdala!
• few people want to admit they have a problem with anger
• most of us readily see anger mismanagement on the
part of others…….
…..but seldom see it in ourselves !!!!!
Anger is neither a positive nor a negative emotion.
It is the way we handle our anger that makes
it negative or positive.
Prov.14:17 – ‘He that is soon angry will deal foolishly’
Prov. 14:29 – He that is slow to anger is of great understanding,
but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly’
Prov.15:18 – ‘A wrathful man stirreth up contention: he that
is slow to anger appeaseth strife.’
Prov.16:32 – ‘He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty’
Prov.22:24 – ‘Make no friendship with a man given to anger;
with a wrathful man thou shalt not go.’
Ecc.7:9 – ‘Be not hasty to be angry: for anger resteth in
the bosom of fools’
Ja.1:19 – ‘Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak,
slow to wrath.’
SOON ANGRY






Deal foolishly
Exalteth folly
Stirs up contention
Do not befriend
Person to be
avoided
Fool
SLOW to ANGER




Great understanding
Appeaseth strife
Better than the
mighty
Swift to hear, slow to
speak
PAUL
‘Two are Better than One’
Ecc.4:9
Befriended Saul when others wouldn’t
Acts 9:26-28 - _____________________________
Went to seek him out
Acts 11:25-26 - ____________________________
Worked together
Acts 13:1-3 - ______________________________
Transition of Leadership
Acts 13:7,13 - _____________________________
Chief speaker - Defer to strength
Acts 13:46-14:20 - __________________________
Acts 15:1-3,12 - ____________________________
Moved forward based on common understanding
Acts 15:36-38 - _____________________________
Spiritual Courage - Agree to Disagree
John Mark
Acts
Acts
Acts
Acts
Acts
12:12
Allow for Mistakes
12:25
Encourage Growth
13:5
13:13
15:37-39--------II Tim.4:11,Phile:24,IPet.5:13
‘The contention was so sharp between them, that they
departed asunder one from the other’ Acts 15:39
How often have you seen that happen?
Or experienced it yourself?
• Marriage
• Individual Brothers/Sisters
• Within your Ecclesia
• Between Ecclesias
Scriptural Instruction – Learn to Manage Your Anger First
PAUL
PAUSE
Freedom to Choose
Response - ability
PAUSE
I Sam. 20:30-34
Saul’s Unbridled Anger
Prov.14:29 – ‘hasty of spirit’
Prov.19:12 – ‘king’s wrath’
Prov.19:19 – ‘great wrath’
Prov.21:24 – ‘proud wrath’
Prov.25:28 – ‘no rule over his spirit’
Prov.27:3 – ‘fool’s wrath’
Jonathan’s Wise Response
Prov.22:24 – ‘avoid a furious man’
Ecc.7:9 – ‘be not hasty to be angry’
PAUSE
Freedom to Choose
DIVINE PRINCIPLES FOR CONDUCT
PAUSE
“…provoked the LORD to anger…”
Ps.7:11 – God is angry with the wicked every day
II Kings 17:9-11 – ch. Of Israel did secretly those things that were not right
II Kings 22:17 - …works of their hands…
Ps.106:29 - … with their inventions…
Is.9:17 - …everyone is a hypocrite and an evildoer
Jer. 32:27-32 - …turned unto me the back and not the face…
- they
- their kings
- their princes
- their priests
- their prophets
Jer.42:17-18, Ezek.16:26,20:8
…set faces to go into Egypt…committed whoredoms with Egypt
thy neighbours, great of flesh…neither did forsake the idols of Egypt
Ezek.8:17 - …is it a light thing
PAUSE
Ps.78:38 - …many a time turned he his anger away…
Ps.103:8, Joel2:13, Nah.1:3,6 – merciful, gracious, slow to anger
Is.48:9-11 – defer mine anger…I will refrain for thee
II Kings 17:13 – testified against Israel & Judah by prophets
…morning by morning… rising early and speaking to them!!
Jer.7:13,25,11:7,25:3,26:5,35:14-15,44:4
PAUSE
To Be Feared
Ps.6:1 – rebuke me not in thine anger
Ps.27:9 – put not servant away in anger
Ps.90:7-12 – who knoweth power of thine anger
…..therefore teach us to number our days
Has Purpose
Jer.23:20, 30:24, Ezek.5:13
…till he have performed the thoughts of
his heart perfectly…
Refining Process – Purified Product
Ezek.22:20-22 - …I will gather you in mine anger…into the midst
of the furnace…and blow upon it…and melt you..
and ye shall know !!!
How God’s Anger Works
Is.10:5 – Assyrian = rod of his anger
Is.13:3 – my mighty ones (nations)
Hos.13:11 – sometimes gives us what we want
Reversible
Jer.3:12-14– Only acknowledge thine iniquity
Love is the End Result
Mic.7:18 – retaineth not anger…delights in mercy (Lam.3:22-23)
Hos. 14:4 - …I will love them freely…mine anger is turned away
PAUSE
Summary
• God has ‘the right’ to be angry with us every day
• God defers his anger – appeals to us by the prophets
• God will/does express his anger given our stubborn behaviour
- Purpose
- Refining Process
- Reversible
- Love is the end result
1. Consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are angry.
Eph. 4:26 – “Be ye angry, and sin not”
Challenge is not ‘Don’t get angry’ but…. not to sin when we are angry!
2. Restrain your immediate response
Prov.29:11 – ‘A fool gives full vent to his anger’
Prov.19:11 – ‘People with good sense restrain their anger’
Prov.14:17 – ‘A quick tempered man does foolish things.’
‘Speak when you are angry and you will make the
best speech you will ever regret.’
Anonymous
3. Seek to understand before making yourself understood.
• Principle – Ecc.5:1-2 – allusion to law – Ex.30:18-20
• James 1:19-20 – quick to listen…slooooooow to wrath !
CHANGE THE WAY WE THINK….
‘I assume I don’t fully understand, and I need to listen’
‘If I listen first and understand, then I will be better understood’
Listening ----------- Paradigm shift
LEVELS OF LISTENING
Ignoring – making no effort to listen
Pretend Listening – making believe or giving the appearance
you are listening
Selective Listening – hearing only parts of the conversation that interest you
Attentive Listening – paying attention and focusing on what the speaker says
and comparing that to your own experiences
Empathic Listening – listening and responding
with both the heart and mind to
understand the speaker’s words, intent and feelings
(Greek)
“in”
“feeling, suffering”
Phil. 3:10 – ‘fellowship of his sufferings (pathos)’
I Pet. 4:12-14 – ‘partakers of Christ’s sufferings (pathos)’
II Cor.1:3-5 – ‘sufferings abound in Christ’
We have empathy when we put ourself in another’s place and experience
feelings as he or she experiences them. It does not mean we agree but that we
deeply understand another person emotionally and intellectually.
Help the Speaker Feel Understood
1. Repeat Content
2. Rephrase Content in Own Words
3. Reflect Feelings
4. Rephrase & Reflect Feelings in Own Words
Indicator Phrases
‘As I get it, you felt that…’
‘I’m picking up that you…’
‘So, as you see it…’
‘What I guess I’m hearing is…’
‘I’m not sure I’m with you but…’
‘You place a high value on…’
‘As I hear it, you…’
‘You must have felt…’
‘Your message seems to be, I…’
4. Analyze Your Options
i)
Consciously Decide to Overlook the Matter
- not same as storing your anger
- Releasing the anger to God – giving up the right to take revenge
Rom.12:9 – God’s prerogative
Prov 19:11 – ‘The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his
glory to pass over a transgression.’
Col.3:13 – ‘forbear’
ii) Lovingly Confront the Person
Gal.6:1 – ‘restore such an one in the spirit of meekness’ – RESTORATION
Lu.17:3-4 – ‘…if thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him…’
•rebuke = ‘to set a weight upon’
•laying a matter before a bro/sis kindly and firmly
•realize there is always possibility you have misunderstood
•suggestion – write it before you speak it
•Result – 1. Explanation 2. Confession --- framework for reconciliation
5. Take Constructive Action
i)
If we choose to let the offense go……PRAY !
ii) If we choose to lovingly confront do so gently….PRAY!
Matt.5:22-24
LISTEN FIRST…..it may change your paradigm!!!!
•Must always be given
•Is the promise that you will no longer hold this particular offense
against the person…
•your anger has served its purpose – it has motivated you to take
constructive action to see that the issue was resolved!
Verse 1-5
“a great cry of the people” James 5:1-4
“against their brethren”
The Call of
Brethren
Lev. 25:35-38
I Cor.6:6-8
Scenario
v.2
Our sons and daughters need food!
v.3
Mortgaged lands, houses, vineyards to buy food!
v.4
Borrowed money to pay king’s tribute against lands.
v.5
Sons and daughters taken into bondage as servants!
Verse 6
‘I was very angry’ Heb. ‘was angering – to glow, grow warm’
ie Paul - II Cor. 11:29
Verse 7
‘consulted with myself’
NEB - ‘I mastered my feelings and reasoned with the elders’
Freedom to Choose
1. Consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are angry.
v.6 ‘And I was very angry’
2. Restrain your immediate response
v.7 ‘I consulted with myself’
3. Seek to understand before making yourself understood.
v.8 ‘Then held they their peace, and found nothing to answer’
4. Analyze Your Options
Overlook the Matter
Lovingly Confront
v.9 – ‘It is not good that ye do…’
5. Take Constructive Action
v.12 – ‘Restore…require nothing…take an oath’
v.14-19 – Set an example
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing
it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Cain – Gen.4:5,8
An experience common to man
Saul – I Sam. 20:28-34
Jonah – Jonah 4:1,4,9
Casting Out Moneychangers
Mark 11:11-19
Going to Law
Jerusalem Conference
I Cor.5:12-6:8
Acts 15:1-22
Coat & Cloke
Matt.5:39-42
Paul & Peter
Gal.2:11
Pilate & People
Luke 23:13-25
Paul & Barnabus
Acts 15:36-40
Neglect of Widows
Acts 6:1-8
Nehemiah & Rulers
Neh.5
Saul & Jonathan
Cain & Abel
I Sam.20:30-34
Genesis 4
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Conflict Resolution Styles
Matthew 18
Forgiveness
Intra-Ecclesial Conflict
Reconciliation is the Goal
1
6
2
3
3
1.Between Thee and Him – v.15
2.One or Two More – v.16
3.Tell it to the Ecclesia – v.17
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
‘If your brother acts wrongly towards you, go and point
out his fault to him when only you and he are there’ (Wey)
‘But if your brother wrongs you, go and have it out with
him at once – just between the two of you.’ (Philips)
‘trespass’ – ‘to miss the mark, be mistaken, miss or
wander from the path of uprightness and honor,
to do or go wrong’ (Thayer)
Prov. 25:8-9 – ‘Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself’
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
‘go tell him his fault’
‘refute, confute, bring to light, expose’
‘self to the exclusion of others, by one’s self’
Gr. vb. Implies a continual action – ie continue till it is
apparent further conversation = useless or harmful
Motive – Gaining thy brother – Lev.19:17-18
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
‘hear’ – ‘to attend to, consider, understand, perceive
the sense of what is being said’
SEE
&HEAR
•
•
•
•
TELL A
STORY
FEEL &
ACT
Always intermediate step
We add meaning to action observed
Even if it we don’t realize it we tell ourselves stories
Need to tell ourselves different story to break cycle
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
CONFLICT – An Opportunity
Love of Christ
1. Note Context – v.12-14 – restoration not condemnation
2. Language of scripture – not ‘confront’
- confessing, teaching, instructing, reasoning, encouraging,
correcting, warning, admonishing, rebuking
(Mt.5:23-24, Lu.17:3, Acts 17:17, I Thess.5:14, II Tim.2:24,4:2)
3. Adjust intensity of our communication – I Tim.5:1
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
1. FACE TO FACE
Matt.5:23-24,18:15, Lu.17:3
Successful
Reconciliation
Jacob & Esau – Gen 33:6-12
Joseph & Bro’s – Gen 45-50
Paul & Apostles – Acts 9:27-28
Unsuccessful
Reconciliation
David and Absalom
II Sam.14:24-32
‘must not see my face’
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
2. AWARENESS = OBLIGATION
To do nothing isn’t a scripturally viable option
Lev. 19:17 – ‘rebuke…so you will not share his guilt’
Prov.24:11-12 – ‘If you say we know nothing…’
Matt.5:23-24 – ‘if remember thy bro. hath ought against thee’
Ja.5:19-20 – ‘convert the sinner…save a soul from death’
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
3. RESPONSIBLE FOR EACH OTHER
Gal.6:1 ‘overtaken in a fault’
Gr.’prolambano’ – ‘overtaken, surprised’
‘restore’
Gr.’katartizo’ – ‘mend,repair,equip,complete,prepare
Matt.4:21 – ‘mending their nets’
I Thess.3:10 – ‘perfect that which is lacking’
Heb.13:21 – ‘Make you perfect in every good work’
I Pet.5:10 – ‘make you perfect’
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
4. BE QUICK TO LISTEN
Ja.1:19 – ‘swift to hear’
Gr. ‘prompt, ready, quick’ – only occurence
Prov.18:13 – ‘He who answers before listening –
that is his folly and shame’
Ecc.5:1 – ‘in house of God…be more ready to hear
than give the sacrifice of fools’
Between Thee and Him Alone
Matt. 18:15
‘There is one whose rash words
are like sword thrusts’
Prov.12:18
Act with Grace – Ja.3:17-18
Make Charitable Judgements – Ja.4:11-12
Speak Truth in Love – Eph.4:15, Rom.12:14, I Pet.3:8-9
Talk from Beside not from Above
Communicate so Clearly that You Cannot be Misunderstood
Plan Your Words – Prov.14:22
5. BE SLOW TO SPEAK
•
•
•
•
•
•
‘…a bro. offended is harder to
be won than a strong city’
Prov.18:19
One or Two More
Matt. 18:16
‘two or three witnesses’
A Principle under the Law
Deut.19:15,Num.35:30,Deut.17:6,Heb.10:28
Practiced in the Ecclesia
II Cor.13:1,I Tim.5:19,Phil.4:2-3
‘every word may be established’
Gr. – ‘to be made to stand’
Tell it to the Ecclesia
Matt. 18:17
‘neglect to hear’
Gr. ‘parakouo’ – only time word is used
Strgs – ‘to mishear, disobey’
Thayers – ‘to hear aside ie casually, carelessly’
‘be unwilling to hear ie neglect, pay no heed’
‘tell it to the ecclesia’
•
•
•
•
•
ROLE OF THE ECCLESIA
Holds both parties accountable to God’s Word
Ecclesia’s opinion intended to be binding
Ecclesia speaks with authourity of Christ
(although imperfectly)
As an Ecclesia we are accountable before God
Decisions are Ecclesial not AB’s
Tell it to the Ecclesia
Matt. 18:17
Heb.13:17 – guidance --------- accountability
I Cor.6:1-8 – ecclesia – arbiter of choice
II Cor.2:6-8 – ‘inflicted of many’
I Tim.5:20 – ‘them that sin rebuke before all’
“let him be as a heathen man and a publican”
Rom.16:17-18 - AVOID THEM
‘divisions’ – ‘disunion, dissension’
‘offenses’ – Gr.’skandalon’ – Eng. ‘scandal’
- ‘a trap stick, snare’
Moral
I Cor.5:9-13
II Thess. 3:6
Doctrinal
I Tim.6:3-5
II Jn.1:10-11
KEY – II Thess.3:14-15
Tell it to the Ecclesia
Matt. 18:17
“let him be as a heathen man and a publican”
Use of ‘as’ is significant!
• God only knows the heart (I Sam.16:7, Rev.2:23)
• Ecclesia has no power to decide whether a person is a believer
• Ecclesia – resp. to make a functional decision – if a person
behaves like a non-believer he should be
treated as such
• Attendance to be encouraged and welcomed with a view
towards restoration (to greatest extent possible)
• Intention – cause him to understand not injure or punish
KEY – Tit.3:10-11 – Condemned himself!
Tell it to the Ecclesia
Matt. 18:17
Non-Believer Status – 3 Purposes
1. Prevents Lord from being dishonoured – Rom.2:23-24
2. Other believers protected from being led astray
- Rom.16:17, I Cor.5:1-7, II Tim.2:15-18
3. Forces someone to realize seriousness of their fault
A Learning Process
Eph.5:11-13 – ‘reprove’ – Gr. ‘call to account’
I Tim.1:20 – ‘learn’ – Gr. ‘train up a child’
I Cor.5:5 – ‘that the spirit may be saved’
‘UNFORGIVENESS IS THE POISON WE DRINK
HOPING OTHERS WILL DIE’
Unforgiveness…
•
•
•
•
Blocks our door to salvation – Mt.6:14-15
Allows root of bitterness to grow – Heb.12:15
Causes you to walk in darkness – I Jn.2:9-11
Grieves the Spirit of God – Eph.4:30-31
Col.3:13 – ‘forgiving one another…
even as Christ forgave you’
Eph.4:32 – ‘forgiving one another, even
as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you’
Gr. ‘aphiemi’ – ‘to send forth, to send away’ Mt.6:12,18:27,32
‘to let go, release, remit’
ref. to debts that have been paid in full
Gr. ‘charizomai’ – ‘to bestow a favour unconditionally,
undeservedly’
Forgiveness is not a Feeling
– it is an act of will
Forgiveness is not Forgetting
– forgetting is a passive process
- forgiving is an active process
Forgiveness is not Excusing
- excusing says that’s OK
- forgiveness says – what you did was wrong &
inexusable, but God has forgiven me – I forgive you
When someone sins a debt is created…
someone must pay it
Is.59:2
MY BROTHER
MYSELF
Matt. 5:22-24
THIS GAP CAN ONLY BE CLOSED … IF WE FIX THIS GAP
UNMERCIFUL SERVANT
Matt.18:28-35
Exact Payment
•
•
•
•
•
•
Withold forgiveness
Cold & aloof
Gossip
Lashing back
Dwelling in the wrong
Seeking revenge
UNBELIEVABLY FORGIVING
KING
Matt.18:23-27
Make Payments
•
•
•
•
•
Speak graciously
Release from consequences
Pray for grace to help
Tear down walls
Fight painful memories
MAKING FOUR PROMISES
1. I will not dwell on this incident.
•
•
•
•
Unconditional commitment to God – Mk.11:25,Lu.6:28
Letting God take over – won’t seek retribution – thought, word, action
Pray for the other person
Readiness for reconciliation once repent
2. I will not bring this up again & use it against you.
3. I will not talk to others about this incident.
4. I will not let this incident stand between us or
hinder our personal relationship.
Jer.31:34, Ps.103:3-4, I Cor.13:5
A NECESSARY STEP
I Jn.1:9-10
Ps.51:1-3
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Expressing Regret – ‘I am sorry’
Accepting Responsibility – ‘I was wrong’
Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right’
Genuine Repenting – ‘I’ll try not to do that again’
Requesting Forgiveness – ‘Will you please forgive me?’
The Ecclesial Guide
Framework for each ecclesial constitution
1. Consistency of operation within individual ecclesias
2. Consistency of practice in how ecc.deal with each other
Do we use the ecclesial guide alongside
scripture in dealing with matters of fellowship
and doctrine?
VOTING/BALLOT – COMMON PRACTICE
Advantages
Disadvantages
• convenient
• Anonymous – allows the
• quick
expression of opinion while
• little effort/deliberation
avoiding face to face deliberation
and discussion
What does voting really accomplish?
Does voting allow us to reach out to others in bro. love?
Does voting resolve the issue at hand?
Does voting promote unity?
Does voting promote oneness of mind amongst an ecclesia?
CASTING LOTS
Employed in Defined Situations
1. Choosing people for specific tasks (positive & negative)
2. Dividing up of duties or territory
Josh.18:8-10 – cast lots before the Lord for division of land
I Sam.14:42 – cast lot before God between Saul and Jonathan
Acts 1:26 – the lot fell upon Matthias
Also I Chron.26:13-14, Neh.11:1, Ps.22:18, Joel 3:3, Jon.1:7
SCRIPTURAL ADVICE
Rom.12:6 – be of the same mind one toward another
Rom 15:6 – with one mind and one mouth glorify God
II Cor. 13:11 – be of one mind, live in peace
Phil.1:27 – with one mind striving for the faith
Phil.2:2 – likeminded…of one accord…of one mind
I Pet.3:8 – finally be ye all of one mind
Acts 1:14 – these all continued of one accord
(2:26,4:24,5:12,8:6,15:25)
Advice from ECCLESIAL GUIDE
If the matters of difference do not affect the question
of the truth or the commandments, it is the duty of
the lesser to submit to the greater number. (Clause 39)
If the matters of difference do affect the question
of the truth or the commandments, let the minority ask
a meeting for the discussion of them, intimating that
a question of fellowship is involved. (Clause 40)
If the discussion have no result … the course of
the minority is clear .(Clause 40)
Advice from SCRIPTURE is MORE COMPELLING
Phil.3:15-18
Context – ‘knowing him, power of his
resurrection, and the fellowship
of his sufferings’ (v.10)
‘be
thus minded’
Gr. ‘to exercise the mind, entertain or have sentiment
or opinion; to be mentally disposed in a certain direction’
Thayer – ‘the same opinion, agree together,
cherish the same views’
‘otherwise minded’
Gr. ‘differently minded or different thinking’
Advice from SCRIPTURE is MORE COMPELLING
Phil.3:15-18
Context – ‘knowing him, power of his
resurrection, and the fellowship
of his sufferings’ (v.10)
v.16 ‘let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing’
Gr. --– we must as an ecclesia walk in step as a military
troop holding the same opinion – Phil.2:2, I Cor.1:10
Lit Gr. ‘let us walk in step’ - contrast v.18 ‘walk out of step’
Advice from SCRIPTURE is MORE COMPELLING
Gal.5:10
Context – ‘doctrine’ of circumcision v.1-4
‘be
none otherwise minded’
Gr. ‘not even one will exercise the mind, have sentiment or
opinion or be mentally disposed in a different direction’
VOTING FAILS TO ACHIEVE
ONENESS OF MIND
DEMANDED BY SCRIPTURE
When you are faced with conflict,
passivity is not the real path to
peace. Resolution rests in confronting
wrong, but with a right heart.
‘finding the answer’
Gr. ‘adjustment of a difference – to change the mind
of anyone – restoration to favour – to receive one
into favour – to re-establish harmony – to bring
together again’
II Cor.13:11 – ‘Straighten yourselves out, comfort yourselves.
agree with one another and live at peace.’
Is Forgiveness the same as Reconciliation?
Focus on offense
Focus on relationship
Requires no relationship
Requires nurturing relationship
“Can two walk together unless
they meet by appointment”
Amos 3:3 (Roth)
I CORINTHIANS 1:10
‘I entreat you brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to cultivate
a spirit of harmony – all of you – and that there be no divisions among
you but rather a perfect union through your having one mind and one
judgement.’ (Wey)
‘I do beg you, my brothers, by all that our Lord Jesus Christ means to you,
to speak with one voice, and not allow yourselves to be split up into
parties. All together you should be achieving a unity in thought and judgement.’
(Phillips)
“The discretion of man deferreth his anger”
Prov.19:11
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;
and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city”
Prov.16:32
Eph.4:25-32
1.Be Honest – v.25
2. Deal with it now – v.26-28
3. Attack the problem not the person – v.29-30
4. Act don’t react – v.31-32
Proverbs 18:13 – LISTEN first ….then respond!
Gal.5:15 - ‘If you keep on biting and devouring one
another, watch out or you will be destroyed by
each other.’
(Harry Tennant)
Examine the following examples in scripture and discuss how the
various scriptural characters handled conflict or disagreement.
What conflict resolution styles did they use??
What worked well?
What could have been done differently?
1. Genesis 4 – Cain and Abel
2. I Samuel 20:30-34 - Saul & Jonathan
3. Luke 23:13-25 – Pilate and the people
4. Matthew 15:10-20 – Christ and Pharisees
5. Mark 11:11-19 – Casting Out Money Changers
6. Acts 15:1-22 – Jerusalem Conference
7. Acts 15:36-40 – Paul & Barnabus
8. Gal.2:11 – Paul & Peter
9. I Cor.5:12-6:8 – Going to Law
10.Acts 6:1-8 – Neglect of Widows