Name:
Communication Skills FSTU 206001
1200-word Essay
Instructions:

Essay Plan and Draft Essay must be attached to this booklet, with the
checklists on pp. 6, 21 & 22 completed.
DUE: Thursday, 5th November 1 PM – handed into the dropbox
 Final Essay
DUE: Thursday, 12th November 1 pm – submitted through Turnitin
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Communication Skills FSTU 206001
1200-word Essay
Plan and Draft Essay Marking Guide
Plan and Draft Essay
Marks
PLAN
Mark
Plan shows clear essay structure including all main ideas.
5
Possible sources are identified – at least 5 (3 must be from your
own research).
3
DRAFT
Mark
There is an introduction, 3-4 body paragraphs and a conclusion.
Introduction includes a thesis statement, with the points to be
made in the essay – all paragraphs follow the guidelines laid out
in the Essay Working Plan.
10
Supporting sources are referenced using APA. There are in-text
references and a reference list.
4
Paragraph ideas are linked – within paragraphs and between
paragraphs.
4
The draft is handed in on the due date.
2
Total
This provides the marks for the Application of writing process
section in the marks for the Final Essay.
28
/8
/ 20
/28
/7
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Communication Skills FSTU 206001
Marking Guide
Final Essay – 1200 words
Marks
Essay format
Mark
Folder presented as required in task instructions
2
Formatting conforms to course requirements
2
Introductory paragraph
Introductory statement is well-constructed and distinct; clearly
sets out direction of essay, with thesis statement and overview of
main ideas. Essay parameters are described.
Body of essay (minimum of three central paragraphs)
Mark
Mark
10
Technical terms are explained accurately and used appropriately
2
Evident and relevant topic sentences. Transition/flow between
ideas within, and between, paragraphs is clear and coherent with
ideas and information grouped together in a logical manner.
6
Concluding sentences summarise paragraph contents and may
link to following paragraphs.
2
Content is adequately summarised with no new material
presented. Thesis statement is reiterated and a final evaluation
on the significance of the material is presented
Research
/5
5
Topic and task correctly addressed/core issue(s) are identified.
Development of topic is relevant, logical, expanded and examples
are incorporated. Diverse ideas are linked to develop a broader,
overarching theme.
Conclusion
/4
Mark
/ 20
/5
5
Mark
A good range of relevant, well integrated, fully discussed and
correctly presented quotations/paraphrases is used.
7
Evidence of having read widely in the relevant area. A Reference
List with a minimum of 5 correctly presented citations is required
– at least 2 of the citations must be for books.
7
/ 14
4
Application of writing process
Mark
Plan outlines essay direction
2
Drafts show on-going progression of thought and crafting with final
essay showing further refining.
5
Accuracy
Mark
Appropriate academic style and tone adopted. A wide range of
vocabulary used appropriately and accurately.
Punctuation and spelling are accurate.
/7
/ 15
5
5
Effective use of a range of sentence structures.
5
Mark out of 70
/ 70
Percentage
/100%
Penalties
Marks lost
Plus or minus 10% of word limit
5%
Minor plagiarism; % deducted from mark e.g. minus 20%
%
Evidence of major plagiarism
All
Lateness: each day (including weekends) of unexcused lateness
5%
Penalties
Final Total
/70
Percentage
MARK (40% of final mark for the course)
Lecturer’s comments:
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Communication Skills FSTU 206001: 1200-word Essay
WORKING PLAN – CHECK THE BOXES!
Essay Topic
Recently Angelina Jolie described the world’s refugee crisis in a speech as follows:
“Our world has never been richer or healthier or more advanced. Yet never before have so
many people been dispossessed and stripped of their basic human rights. We should call
this what it is: not just a ‘refugee crisis’ but a crisis of global security and governance, that is
manifesting itself in the worst refugee crisis ever recorded – and a time of mass
displacement.”
Outline several examples of why people pay, and put their trust in, ‘human traffickers’ to get
them out of their homeland. Should the developed world work harder at making the
homeland a safer place i.e. resolving the starting point of this problem, or should more than
the 25 developed countries who currently accept refugees open their borders to accept
displaced persons? Does the UN have a role to play here?
GUIDELINES
A. Essay Plan – This should be your original first notes, which should clearly show additions

and changes. You may be able to show this process more clearly if your plan is handwritten.
o

Brainstorm ideas and then use the resource materials provided, and one other
resource that you have found yourself, to help develop your plan.
B. Draft Essay –Must show: working/modification/improvement and meet the

requirements in the Marking Guide on p. 5
o
These changes can be shown as ‘tracked changes’ or as inserted handwritten notes.

C. Final Essay – Must be formatted according to the instructions on p. 24 and
submitted through Turnitin.
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ESSAY PLANNING AND DRAFTING
Remember, you can submit your essay to Turnitin before the due date and get feedback about
your paraphrasing and quoting – this feedback will help to show whether you have sufficiently
paraphrased material and whether you have referenced it correctly. However, it does not
necessarily pick up all the reference material online, so we will still check if we think you have not
sufficiently paraphrased, or have incorrectly referenced, your work.
A. ESSAY PLAN
1. KEY WORDS/ PHRASES
These will help you get started on your research (you may want to add more to the list – just add
more links) as your reading takes you further along. Add citations to help you keep track of your
reading too:
Why are people desperate to
leave their homeland?
Refugee
Does the UN have a role to
play?
Asylum
seeker
Topic:
Humanitarian
aid
Causes
Refugee
Crisis
Examples
Syria
Myanmar
Turkey
Iraq
Afghanistan
Somalia
Eritrea
Solutions
Should a greater number
of developed countries
open their borders to
accept displaced
persons? Australia?
Britain? Austria
Should the UN world
work harder at ensuring
people’s homelands are
safer so they do not
need to become
refugees?
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2. WORDS AND PHRASES YOU NEED TO DEFINE

Refugee

Displaced person

IDP

Human trafficker

Developed world/countries

UNHCR

“open their borders”

Refugee crisis
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3. READINGS
The Global Struggle to Respond to the Worst Refugee Crisis in
Generations
By PATRICK BOEHLER and SERGIO PEÇANHA, updated July 1, 2015
The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/06/09/ world/
migrants-global-refugee-crisis-mediterranean-ukraine-syria-rohingya-malaysia-iraq.html?_r=0
Eleven million people were uprooted by violence last year, most propelled by conflict in
Syria, Iraq, Ukraine and Afghanistan. Conflict and extreme poverty have also pushed tens of
thousands out of parts of sub-Saharan Africa and Southeast Asia. Here’s a look at the
international response to what has become the worst migration crisis since World War II,
according to the United Nations.
Refugees and Displace People Worldwide 1989-2014
Syria and Iraq
Syria’s neighbours have been making it harder for migrants to cross into their territories.
About 11 million Syrians displaced, four million abroad, since 2011.
In Iraq, nearly three million displaced since December 2013.
Taxing the Neighbours
Years of violence in Iraq and Syria have stretched the capacities of neighbouring countries to
accommodate the displaced. In Jordan, unemployment has almost doubled since 2011 in
areas with high concentrations of refugees, according to a recent International Labor
Organization study. Lebanon began to require visas from Syrians in January. Refugees now
make up about 20 percent of Lebanon’s population. In March, Turkey announced it would
close the two remaining border gates with Syria.
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Syrian refugees
Iraqis and Syrians displaced in their own countries
Southeast Asia
Thousands of Bangladeshis and Rohingya, an ethnic minority from Myanmar, have fled from
poverty and persecution.
25,000 boarded smugglers’ boats in the first quarter of this year.
The Rohingya are denied citizenship and basic rights in Myanmar.
Fleeing by Sea
Indonesia and Malaysia, countries that in the past have quietly taken in many refugees from
Bangladesh and Myanmar, first reacted to the new rise in migrants by vowing to send back
smugglers’ boats. Facing public pressure, they reversed their stance in mid-May, saying they
would provide shelter to migrants still at sea. An absence of landings and fewer sightings
suggest that the inflow has subsided.
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Mediterranean Sea
The European Union wants to stop smugglers near the African coast. European governments
are divided over the fates of those who reach shore.
137,000 people migrated this year. 1,800 died in the sea.
Civil war in Libya has made human trafficking easier.
Division Over How to Respond
In May, European leaders said they would form a naval force based in Italy to combat
people-smuggling. The European Commission also appealed to the bloc’s member states to
accept quotas of migrants to relieve the burden on southern states, like Italy and Greece,
which are the main landing points. Poverty and war in places like Libya, South Sudan and
Nigeria are driving migrants to make the perilous journey across the Mediterranean Sea.
Ukraine
Fighting between Ukrainian troops and pro-Russian separatists has severely damaged
Ukraine’s industrial belt.
1.3 million displaced inside Ukraine.
867,000 Ukrainians have left the country, most to Russia.
Crippled Economy
Hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians have fled to Russia. But European Union countries, like
Poland, Germany and Italy, which are among the top destinations for asylum seekers, have
rejected most applications from Ukrainians. Less than a third of the $316 million needed in
2015 for the United Nations’ humanitarian response has been raised so far. The conflict was
particularly damaging to Ukraine’s economy, which is expected to shrink 9 percent by the
end of the year.
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Sources: Internal Displacement Monitoring Center, United Nations High Commissioner for
Refugees, International Organization for Migration
Additional work by Joe Burgess, K.K. Rebecca Lai and David Furst.
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Jackson, G. (2015, April 22). UN’s Francois Crepeau on the refugee crisis: ‘Instead of resisting
migration, let’s organise it’. The Guardian. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/
world/2015/apr/22/uns-francois-crepeau-on-the-refugee-crisis-instead-of-resistingmigrationlets-organise-it
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Pages excerpted from: Hanhimaki, J. (2015). The United Nations : A Very Short Introduction
(2nd ed.). New York: Cambridge University Press.
What is the role of the UNHCR?
127
128
130
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129
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How does the UN work to improve conditions in countries that people are
fleeing from because of war, persecution and poverty?
116
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4. SOME USEFUL INTERNET SITES

Refugee crises ‘reflect the world in chaos’
http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2015/06/global-leadership-criticised-refugee-numbersswell-150620053450428.html

Mapping Displaced People Around the World ( a good summary of the facts and
terms used)
http://education.nationalgeographic.com/maps/mapping-displaced-people-around-theworld/

Global refugees: Is the world failing?
http://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/insidestory/2015/06/global-refugees-world-failing150618195015168.html

Aljazeera Refugees
http://www.aljazeera.com/topics/subjects/refugees.html

“Nope, nope, nope”: Tony Abbot says Australia will not resettle refugees in migrant
crisis
http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/nope-nope-nope-tony-abbott-saysaustralia-will-not-resettle-refugees-in-migrant-crisis-20150521-gh6eew.html

Greek island Kos sees surge in migrants
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a5L1dWiPf4
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B. ESSAY DRAFT
BELOW YOU WILL FIND AN ESSAY OUTLINE. You should use this as a guide to developing your essay.
 Introduction
Using your resource material, write:
1. An introductory statement or hook (1-2 sentences) – what is the topic of the essay and what
are some words that will hook people into reading further? While this should be a general
statement, it must be directly linked to the topic.

For example: the following opening sentence tells the reader nothing new and is far too general.
Refugees are a growing problem worldwide.
Rather:
You need and opening sentence that grabs the reader’s attention and highlights the magnitude of this
problem and how it is continuing to grow – statistics can help here.
2. Some further information about the topic that narrows it down.
What are the most important issues – make sure these sentences relate to the points you will be
addressing in the essay.

3. The thesis statement/overview. What is the main idea you are discussing in the essay and what
are the 3-4 points you are going to make in the body of the essay – in the order of the paragraphs
for each point?

 Body Paragraphs
1. What are the 3-4 points you want to make for this essay? Here are some suggestions:
a) * What is a refugee? Give examples of different types of refugees.
* Why is there a refugee crisis? Provide examples of countries that refugees come
from and examples of why they are leaving these countries. Make sure you provide statistics.
b) * How do people leave their home countries to become refugees? Give examples.
* What are human traffickers? Why do refugees pay human traffickers? What are the dangers of
human trafficking? Give examples.
c) * What is the effect of refugees on the countries they go to? Provide examples for
several different countries.
d) * What are some solutions to the refugees crisis?
* What is the UN? What is the role of the UN in the refugee crisis – UNHCR?
Greece: Refugee Crisis in Europe
Over 100,000 refugees have arrived to Greece by sea this year. UNHCR is mobilizing
emergency teams, resources and delivering basic humanitarian assistance in order to
address the most urgent gaps and support government efforts. Volunteers, local
communities and NGOs are providing invaluable assistance but they need support.
(UNHCR). (2015, January 30). UNHCR welcomes asylum process reforms in Greece, but more
needs to be done. Retrieved from http://www.unhcr.org/54cb5f8b6.html
* Should the UN be working with countries that refugees are coming from to make them safer,
and thus reduce the number of people trying to escape? OR
Should the UN be encouraging developed countries to take more refugees?
* From your research and reading provide some examples of other solutions that have been
proposed??
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2. Write the topic sentence for each of these paragraphs – remember, the topic sentence
needs to introduce the paragraph topic.
– Remember to paraphrase the material you use and to use in-text referencing.
– Each time you paraphrase, or find a quote you want to use, carefully note where you got
it from so you can find the reference later – you will need it for both in-text referencing
and your Reference List.

3. Put your ideas together, with your own words, to construct your paragraphs – ensure you
link the sentences within your paragraphs.

4. The final sentence of your paragraph should sum up the paragraph content: Paragraph 1
should have a link to Paragraph 2, Paragraph 2 should have a link to Paragraph 3 etc.
However, you do not need to link your final body paragraph to the Conclusion.


 Conclusion
Using the Introduction and the paragraphs you now have, write:
1. Your thesis statement restated.

2. Follow this with a brief summary of the main points you introduced in the Introduction.

3. ... and an effective final statement – your resource material can help you with this but
make sure you do not add any new information.

 Reference List

This should:
 follow APA guidelines
 be on a separate page at the end of your essay
 contain a list of the resources you have used
 be in alphabetical order
 include ALL of the in-text references
 only include resources that you have referred to in-text.

C. FINAL ESSAY
This should follow the instructions above for the draft essay and be formatted according to
the guideline’s below:
Formatting Guidelines – Compulsory
Font:
Times New Roman 12, Arial 11 or Calibri 12
Margins:
2.5 cm
Line spacing: 1.5
Word Count: At the end of the essay
Name:
In Header
Printed:
One side of paper only
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