Bullying: The Hidden Epidemic Violence in American Schools Trey Malicoat, MS www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts The National Education Association estimates that 160,000 students in the US miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by a bully. These students miss 28 million days of school annually. (Fried & Fried, 1996) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts There is a relationship between bullying or being bullied and other types of violence, including fighting, carrying weapons, and suicide. The 2009 Indicators of School Crime and Safety collected statistics from a variety of studies, which showed that: www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts About 20 percent of teens had been made fun of by a bully, 18 percent of teens had rumors or gossip spread about them, 11 percent were physically bullied, such as being shoved, tripped, or spit on, 6 percent were threatened, 5 percent were excluded from activities they wanted to participate in, 4 percent were coerced into something they did not want to do, and 4 percent had their personal belongings destroyed by bullies www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts One third of teens reported being bullied while at school 4 percent of teens in this study reported being the victims of cyber bullying Most bullying occurred inside the school, with smaller numbers of bullying incidents occurring outside on the school grounds, on the school bus, or on the way to school www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts Only about a third of bully victims reported the bullying to someone at school About 2 of every 3 bully victims were bullied once or twice during the school year, 1 in 5 were bullied once or twice a month, and about 1 in 10 were bullied daily or several times a week www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts In this study, females and white students reported the most incidents of being the victims of bullying 44 percent of middle schools reported bullying problems, compared to just over 20 percent of both elementary and high schools www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts Rates of sexual harassment and racial or ethnic tensions were somewhat higher for middle school children than for other age groups Violent crimes are more likely to occur among middle school students and younger teens than among older teens www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts 10 percent of middle and high school students have had hate terms used against them, and over one third have seen hateful graffiti messages Females are more likely to be called be gender-based hate words, while males are more likely to be called by hate words relating to their race or ethnicity www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts Violent deaths, including suicides, are rare at school, though recent events have shown that bullying at school may be related to violent actions, including suicides, outside of school Though violent crimes among young people have decreased in recent years, there was a small upswing in the amount of violence taking place at school www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts 8 percent of students were injured or hurt with a weapon at school, and males were more likely than females to be victims 7 percent of students have avoided school or certain places at school because they were afraid of being harmed in some way www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts Bullying is most common among middle school children, where almost half of students may be bully victims Between 15 and 25 percent of students overall are frequent victims of bullying, and 15 to 20 percent of students bully others often About 20 percent of students experience physical bullying at some point in their lives, while almost a third experience some type of bullying www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts About 8 percent of students have been the victims of a cyber bully Studies have indicated that females may be the victims of bullying more often than males; males are more likely to experience physical or verbal bullying, while females are more likely to experience social or psychological bullying www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Facts Students with disabilities are more likely to be the victims of bullying Homosexual and bisexual teens are more likely to report bullying than heterosexual teens www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Fact Bullies identified by age eight are six times more likely to be convicted of crime by age 24 and five times more likely than non-bullies to end up with serious criminal records by the age of 30” (Maine Project Against Bullying, 2000); 60% of students characterized as bullies in grades 6-9 had at least one criminal conviction by age 24. (Banks, 2000) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Fact Roughly two-thirds of school shooters had “felt persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked, or injured by others…a number of the teenagers had suffered sustained, severe bullying and harassment” (Bowman, 2001) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com What is bullying? Bullying, unlike isolated conflicts between individuals, occurs when a student or group of students targets an individual repeatedly over time, using physical or psychological aggression to dominate the victim. (Hoover & Oliver, 1996; Rigby, 1995; USDOE, 1998). The repeated incidents function to create an imbalance of power between bully and victim. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Bullying is violence involving: Duration Power Intent to Harm www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Power Human nature of man Power is experienced when a person feels: In congruence/balance with their world (at least in some area of life). Able to exert control over themselves or others (a perceived ability to maintain self control or to control others.) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Power Powerlessness occurs when: The person perceives a lack of personal control (emotional, intellectual, social, spiritual, physical) and their adaptive capacities/ personal resilience are exhausted. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Systems of Power Family Government Education Social services Healthcare Religion www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Expression of Power Power is expressed through: Communication Proximetrics Verbal Non-verbal Behavior/ Actions Individual behavior/ actions Actions/ behaviors of others Group behavior Status Economic Social Political Academic www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Emotional Powerlessness Emotional powerlessness occurs when: When a person is flooded with change and uncertainty and feel they are no longer capable of coping with stress When actual fear overrides thought—circumstances that involve a fight or flight response When perceived fear overrides logic—phobias When all coping mechanisms are tested, and the person exhausts their ability to explore new methods of coping When a person gives way to the experiential “tapes” in their head (recorded by others or by experience) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Emotional Powerlessness When they loose the ability to be rational and thoughtful When the shame of past behavior/ thoughts consumes the person When behavioral patterns seem un-interrupt-able (habits take over and addictions kick in) When physical processes and physiological responses are confused with emotional processing. (Tears for cleansing vs. tears from sorrowful feeling.) (Feel tired so I must be sad or depressed) When physical processes and physiological responses override logic, reason, and emotional understanding. (when your mind is tricked because of what your body does—psychosomatic illness) When a person looses all hope www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Physical Powerlessness Physical powerlessness occurs when: One person exerts physical dominance over another When the fight or flight response is initiated (depending on the physiological response—if you fight you are powerful, if you flee or freeze you are physically powerless) When physical processes and physiological responses render a person impotent (weak and incapable) When a physical threat causes a loss of rationality and personal understanding of a present situation (fear overrides the ability to act or react) When a foreign chemical affects central nervous system functioning www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Intellectual Powerlessness Intellectual powerlessness occurs when: Emotion overrides one’s ability to think with logic and reason The brain is overwhelmed by too much sensory information The fight or flight response is initiated and the brain functions with the limbic brain as primary One looses the ability to explore new options and personal meaning When one person, through methods of mind control and systematic abuse, take charge of another person’s ability to think clearly (When perception is skewed by someone else) www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Spiritual Powerlessness Spiritual powerlessness occurs when: Intellectual thought overrides one’s ability to maintain faith and hope Spiritual beliefs fail to perceived reality. (When tragedy occurs and God doesn’t seem present) Emotional processes test beliefs rooted in faith When personal values are challenged beyond one’s ability to believe in a higher power/being) Circumstances test spiritual resolve beyond the person’s ability to maintain faith and trust in something (a power/ being) greater www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Social Powerlessness Social powerlessness occurs when: A person is a victim of a social circumstance involving public embarrassment, humiliation, and shame as perceived by others When a person no longer has a public voice or opinion because of oppression When a person is ostracized and treated as an outsider of the social group When a person perceives him or herself as being socially powerless When a person’s life experience run contrary to social norms When a person perceives him or herself as unaccepted and different from others When social norming dictates behavior that is contrary to the person’s personal perception www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Types of Bullies Provoking--bystander encouragers Proactive Reactive All types can be individual or group categories www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Bullying Techniques Physical Emotional Social Verbal Non-verbal Direct Indirect Active Passive www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com It’s all abuse! Physical Hitting Shoving Tripping Spitting Any behavior that is physical in nature www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Emotional Sarcasm Mocking Teasing Name Calling Any way you tear someone down from the inside out www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Social Ridiculing Rumors Discrimination Isolation Rejection Humiliation Anything you can do publicly to humiliate and degrade someone else www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Tools for bullying Telephone Internet Notes People Property Anything that can be used to humiliates someone www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Bullying Occurs… On the playground Lunchroom Locker room Unsupervised places on school premises Bus Mall Parks On the street www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Prevention of bullying--Schools Develop an anti-bullying policy Provide training for all staff Involve parents Identify resources for bullies, victims and families Provide a no-tolerance environment for students Supervision—playgrounds, bus stops, blind spots, stairwells, bathrooms One behavior standard for all in the buildings (including teachers) Clear and strong behavior management Teach anti-bullying all the time! Integrate respect into the curriculum www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Prevention with your Child Teach empathy Model communication Listen to them Value and respect them Take all “bullying” talk seriously Honor them Habilitate them www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Intervention Quickly, respectfully, honorably Model appropriate behavior Take all talk seriously Don’t look for a person to blame Be aware of retaliation and plan ahead Create an empathetic climate www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Building Internal & External Assets To comprehensively address the issue of bullying in schools and other communities, it is critical to build upon the internal and external assets of all children. Asset-based research provided by the SEARCH Institute www.search-institute.org www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Intervention—The QUICK list Habilitate all people Communication Trust Honesty Respect Listening Problem solving Conflict management Responsibility www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Support Family Support | Family continues to be a consistent provider of love and support for the child’s unique physical and emotional needs. Parent Involvement in Schooling | Parent(s) talk about the importance of education and are actively involved in the child’s school success. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Support Positive Family Communication | Parent(s) and child communicate openly, respectfully, and frequently, with child receiving praise for her or his efforts and accomplishments. Other Adult Relationships | Child receives support from adults other than her or his parent(s), with the child sometimes experiencing relationships with a nonparent adult. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Support Caring Neighborhood | Parent(s) and child experience friendly neighbors who affirm and support the child’s growth and sense of belonging Caring School Climate | Child experiences warm, welcoming relationships with teachers, caregivers, and peers at school. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Empowerment Community Values Children | Children are welcomed and included throughout community life. Children as Resources | Child contributes to family decisions and has opportunities to participate in positive community events. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Empowerment Service to Others | Child has opportunities to serve in the community with adult support and approval. Safety | Parents and community adults ensure the child’s safety while keeping in mind her or his increasing independence. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Expectations Family Boundaries | The family maintains supervision of the child, has reasonable guidelines for behavior, and always knows where the child is. Adult Role Models | Parent(s) and other adults model positive, responsible behavior and encourage the child to follow these examples. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Expectations School Boundaries | Schools have clear, consistent rules and consequences and use a positive approach to discipline. Neighborhood Boundaries | Neighbors and friends’ parents help monitor the child’s behavior and provide feedback to the parent(s). www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Expectations Positive Peer Influence | Parent(s) monitor the child’s friends and encourage spending time with those who set good examples. High Expectations | Parent(s), teachers, and other influential adults encourage the child to do her or his best in all tasks and celebrate their successes. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Time Creative Activities | Child participates weekly in music, dance, or other form of artistic expression outside of school. Child Programs | Child participates weekly in at least one sport, club, or organization within the school or community. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Time Religious Community | Child participates in age-appropriate religious activities and caring relationships that nurture her or his spiritual development. Time at Home | Child spends time at home playing and doing positive activities with the family. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Learning Achievement Motivation | Child is encouraged to remain curious and demonstrates an interest in doing well at school. Learning Engagement | Child is enthused about learning and enjoys going to school. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Learning Homework | With appropriate parental support, child completes assigned homework. Bonding to School | Child is encouraged to have and feels a sense of belonging at school. Reading for Pleasure | Child listens to and/or reads books outside of school daily. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Values Caring | Parent(s) help child grow in empathy, understanding, and helping others. Equality and Social Justice | Parent(s) encourage child to be concerned about rules and being fair to everyone. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Values Integrity | Parent(s) help child develop her or his own sense of right and wrong behavior. Honesty | Parent(s) encourage child’s development in recognizing and telling the truth www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets--Values Responsibility | Parent(s) encourage child to accept and take responsibility for her or his actions at school and at home. Self-Regulation | Parents encourage child’s growth in regulating her or his own emotions and behaviors and in understanding the importance of healthy habits and choices. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Social Competency Planning and Decision Making | Parent(s) help child think through and plan school and play activities. Interpersonal Competence | Child seeks to build friendships and is learning about selfcontrol. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Social Competency Resistance Skills | Child is learning to recognize risky or dangerous situations and is able to seek help from trusted adults. Peaceful Conflict Resolution | Child continues learning to resolve conflicts without hitting, throwing a tantrum, or using hurtful language. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Social Competency Cultural Competence | Child continues to learn about her or his own cultural identity and is encouraged to interact positively with children of different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Positive Identity Personal Power | Child has a growing sense of having influence over some of the things that happen in her or his life. Self-Esteem | Child likes herself or himself and feels valued by others. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Developmental Assets—Positive Identity Sense of Purpose | Child welcomes new experiences and imagines what he or she might do or be in the future. Positive View of Personal Future | Child has a growing curiosity about the world and finding her or his place in it. www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Other Available Workshops www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com Where to Get More Information Please contact me or your school counselor for a comprehensive list of websites and books available Trey@treymalicoat.com www.treymalicoat.com www.boldlifeproject.com trey@treymalicoat.com